Month: October 2015

Audio

Halloween

TRACK #130:

Halloween by Helloween

Let’s just cap off this 80’s metal block with perhaps the greatest 80’s metal Halloween track ever recorded.

If a band named Helloween didn’t have a song called Halloween, I might have to sit down with them and have real frank discussion. Fortunately, that’s not necessary thanks to this metal overture to the Eve of All Hallo’s.

Originally something like 13 minutes, I use the edited single version on the Shindig for the sake of movement. No one at your party has time for an 13 minute cautionary epic that finds time to include Charlie Brown, Linus and the Great Pumpkin. Nothing’s lost however as the song still remains a balls-to-the-wall heavy metal Halloween harangue and is essential party playlist material

Check out this single they released. Is there anything more Halloweeny-awesome then cutting your vinyl into the shape of a pumpkin and fuck all to everyone’s turntables?

This is the back image, with its sexy, high heeled and stockinged Halloween harlot leap-frogging over Jack-O-Lantern. Yep, everything checks out back here.

It housed the edited version, while the Jack-O-Lantern face held it down on the front with the 13min original. I love this thing. It’s one of the coolest vinyls I’ve ever seen.

Curiously and for no apparent reason, the edited version begins with a few notes from the old standard London Bridge, via the pan flute or some such instrument. Completely random selection? Perhaps not.

Fans of Halloween 3 (and that should be all of you) may wonder if the intro is a nod to The Silver Shamrock song, itself just London Bridge with different lyrics. And it’s possible, as the 1987 album Keeper of the Seven Keys Pt. 1 post dates Season of the Witch by 5 years, plenty of time for the German heshers to throw down referentially.

And apparently they did, according to Metal-Archives.com anyway.

User “hells_unicorn” says

 “Helloween formed and began with a concept inspired by the 1982 Halloween sequel “The Season of the Witch”, one which enjoys a rather comfortable place in my library of old VHS tapes. To this day fans chant the famous Silver Shamrock jingle when the band takes the stage, as the melody can be found in full or fragmented form on most of their studio albums.”

Well, there you have it.

Appropriately the Shindig has the Silver Shamrock song lead this fucker in.

So, do as Helloween instructs, perhaps ominously considering the reference:

“Grab your mask and don’t be late.”

But beware, cause

“in the streets on Halloween the spirits will arise. Make your choice is hell or paradise.”

So, what’s it gonna be, Weeners?

For Halloween, we treat you with Halloween from Helloween.

Happy Halloween, Weeners!

 

Audio

Angel of Death

TRACK #128:

Angel of Death by Slayer

Speaking of people trapped in buildings while 80’s metal shreds behind them, let’s keep the ball rolling a make an official block out of the subject with a less overt selection from Slayer.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch is one of those rare sequels that I like better than it’s predecessor. Don’t get me wrong, I love Gremlins. The party monster originator is a bonafide classic but it’s sequel is funnier, more inventive and with its tounge firmly in cheek, delivers a clever satire of 80’s excess while moving it’s silly green menaces into more appropriate territory.

“Problems? You got a guy in there in a Dracula costume broadcasting stuff of little green monsters!”

This may be an unpopular opinion, I don’t know. Not sure which way the wind’s blowing on the Gremlins franchise, but I’m standing behind it. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s not better, but I definitely enjoy it more.

You have all types of crazy ass hybrid Gremlins, including one that talks, (featuring fantastic voiceover work of Tony Randel), a horror host, a smokin’ ass 80’s redhead, a hilarious automated building system, Christopher Lee as a mad scientist, Robert Picardo as a sleazebag, John Glover’s inspired turn as Mr. Clamp, Long Duk (where is my automobile?) Dong, Dick Miller losing his shit, Leonard Maltin being terrorized, Hulk Hogan screaming at the Gremsters and a Busby Berkly style dance number featuring a shitload of little green monsters. What more could you ask for?

“People want cold sodas! Hot popcorn! And no monsters in the projection booth!

 

 

Well, how bout some fucking Slayer?

You got it punk.

In an awesome sequence when one Gremlin decides to drink some arachnid science juice, Angel of Death blasts on just to let you know shit got real.

The Shindig hopes you have enjoyed our programming, but more importantly, we hope you have enjoyed…life.

 

Audio

Fast As a Shark

TRACK #127:

Fast As a Shark by Accept

I wanted to keep the Demons train rolling and mash-up Boddy Rhodes’ Hank from Demons 2 but that soundtrack kinda sucks. Save for Rain by the Cult and some fun scoring, it’s a pretty lame horror soundtrack and is almost completely useless to The Shindig.

“Take this! I’ll hang onto this!”

They opted to go all new wave gothy with the sequel and while I love The Cult (perhaps the only rock outfit on there), I tried it out and Rain just isn’t ballsy enough for all of Bobby’s shouting.

You know what is?

Accept.

They got their balls to the wall, as it happens. So I decided to cheat a little.

Bobby Rhodes is just too good to leave in the lurch because of an inferior soundtrack and the original Demons has too good of a soundtrack not to double dip.

So we’re gonna bust out a Demons double shot for ya. Here’s Accept’s Fast As a Shark from Demons 1 sampled out with tons of from shit from Hank in Demons 2.

Horseshoes and hand-grenades as far as The Shindig is concerned.

Perhaps better suited to a giallo than a supernatural tale of possession, Fast As a Shark is still a pretty awesome track for any horror movie, full stop. Delivering its somewhat moot warning while letting you know just how royally fucked you are. Holy shit.

And to cap it all off they’re just putting you on blast:

“Now it’s your time.

A loser will die.”

Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence Accept.

As for Demons 2, it’s pretty much the same damn movie, only everyone’s stuck in an apartment complex and the creatures emerge from a TV broadcast instead of a film.

There’s more characters, spreading the action around a little more but dragging the pace down a bit. Obviously, Bobby Rhodes is back, this time in the form of physical trainer Hank. He’s a more stand-up cat and a much better leader, otherwise he might as well just be Tony The Pimp in sweatpants.

There’s even another group of time-sensitive teens driving around trying to get to the main location. Yeah, it’s pretty much the same movie. Except, ya know, for its shittier, non-metal soundtrack.

It’s also little sillier around the edges with a few children, including a very young Asia Argento.

One of these little fuckers actually turns into a demon, which itself is pretty cool. That is until this winged gremlin-like ghoulie-thing tears out of his stomach. Again, kinda cool when it happens, but then it starts chasing the pregnant woman all around. That gets a bit clowny.

The additional characters make the chaos a bit little less focused. There’s the couple stuck in the elevator, the lady with her demon dog, Sally and her birthday partiers all dealing with different levels of demonoid phenomenon.

Meanwhile, Hank and some of his gym-short meat-heads are holding it down in the parking garage, flipping cars, tossin’ molotovs, busting up demons with axes and gunning down possessed fools left and right.

As horror sequels go, it’s not bad. It sticks to the formula pretty stringently, offering up the same basic premise while upping the ante just enough. And like most sequels, it fails to outdo its predecessor. But honestly, if they keep calling forth demons and letting Bobby Rhodes miraculous return to battle ’em back, The Shindig it’d be all over it. Unfortunately the  Demons saga gets all fuckered after part 2.

Lamberto directed The Ogre in 1988, which was widely released as Dèmoni 3. It is not. Similarly, Umberto Lenzi directed Dèmoni 3 (aka Black Demons) in ’91. This is also not Demons 3.

Officially, Demons 3 is Michele Soavi’s 1989 movie The Church (aka Cathedral of Demons or Demon Cathedral) which, while pretty badass, doesn’t necessarily feel like a Demons movie either. Though after a sinister crypt it opened, the titular church does seal itself shut much like in the earlier Demons outings.

But, we fans still get all the Bobby Rhodes-Demon-action we can from the original double-header. So come on Weeners, MOVE IT! MOVE IT!

 

Audio

Night Danger

TRACK #126:

Night Danger by Pretty Maids

Ah Demons, how I love thee. Let me count the ways.

This awesome Italian gore-fest from Mario Bava’s son, Lamberto, might not live up to his father’s catalog in the masterful film making department, but what it lacks in finesse it more than makes up for in kick-ass gore effects, hilarious dubbing and general balls-to-the-wallsery.

The setup is simple. Unsuspecting movie-goers attending the premiere screening of a new horror film become possessed by the same evil unfolding on the screen. Cue crazy demon madness.

What I love most about Demons (is not, bizarrely enough, it’s soundtrack) but Bobby Rhodes’ pimp-hero, Tony. Or rather, I should say whoever dubbed him in English. They’re both awesome and the two form together like the Wonder Twins to create something even more awesome.

My pal Mikey, who met Bobby Rhodes at Fangoria’s Weekend of Horrors some years ago, said he has this really thick Italian accent and it was strange to hear that voice coming out of his face. Here’s a picture. Mikey is appropriately pumped.

Cause Tony is the fucking man and he provides us with some of the greatest get-it-done, no-nonsense tough-guy horror movie bullshit ever committed to the screen. He’s seriously one of my favorite horror heroes of all time and though he dies about halfway into the proceedings, he (or rather Bobby and the awesome guy who dubs him) return in a more noble fashion for Demons 2. Double bonus.

What I love second about Demons is its unrelenting gore-soaked effects from maestro Sergio Stivalleti. The movie is caked in oozing liquids, green foam and nasty teeth. The demons look mean and scary as hell while they mercilessly rip the unsuspecting movie-goers to shred.

Coming in third is the soundtrack. It’s a serious 80’s metal bash and exactly what you want from a horror soundtrack: Accept, Saxon, Motely Crue, Billy Idol, hell there’s even a random Rick Springfield song in there for good measure.

So, with all those heavy hitters then, why choose Pretty Maids? Well, first thing is Night Danger fucking rules and is exactly the kinda rocking 80’s metal storm the Shindig needs to follow up the King.

Secondly, it’s all Satany and badass.

Thirdly, it’s front and center in the film, right as all the demon shit hits the fan.

Spliced with tons of samples from Tony the Pimp cause fuck yeah.

Whadda you waiting for, you sonofvubitch!?

 

Audio

Trick Or Treat

TRACK #125:

Trick or Treat by King Diamond

It’s time once again Weeners for the King of Halloween himself, Mr. King Diamond.

Sure, this song isn’t really about Halloween or even Trick or Treating for that matter, but the King is playing a game called Trick or Treat and damn it if that’s not good enough for the Ole Shindig.

Ever the theatrical, King Diamond’s catalog consists mostly of concept albums, as the majority tell very detailed and horrific stories. Why no one has turned one of these into a movie yet is beyond me. There’s a couple of real good ones.

In particular, the gem from which our next tracks hails, 1996’s The Graveyard.

The Graveyard tells the story of an unnamed King Diamond character who is wrongfully committed to a sanitarium by Mayor McKenzie. Seems King used to work for the him and one night happened upon the The Mayor molesting his own daughter. Yikes.

So the Mayor cooked up a story and tossed King Diamond into the meat grinder.

After years in Blackhill Sanitarium losing his mind, King kills a nurse, escapes and takes refuge in The Graveyard, where he begins to plots his revenge. He also murders some other people and becomes obsessed with the idea of a person’s soul living inside its decapitated head forever, but mostly it’s the revenge he’s interested in.

And that’s where we join our story…

King has kidnapped the Mayor’s daughter Lucy and buried her alive in one of seven graves. Mayor McKenzie has 3 tries to discover which grave is holding Lucy or he will murder them both…

::my best John Kassir impression::

…in a little game the King is calling…Treat Or Treat…yeeehahahahaaaaa.

 

Audio

Are You Ready for Freddy?

TRACK #124:

Are You Ready for Freddy? by The Fat Boys

Fred Krueger the myth or Fred Krueger the man? It doesn’t matter cause they’re still rappin’ bout him, understand?

The lesser heralded of the 2 official Freddy rap songs, I feel Are You Ready For Freddy is superior to Nightmare on My Street for several good reasons:

  1. It’s The Fat Boys and they’re cooler than Will Smith any day of the week.
  2. It’s officially from a Freddy movie (Part 4: The Dream Master)
  3. It’s less generic about it’s Freddydom, as multiple Elm Street films are referenced and sampled.
  4. It actually features Robert Englund rapping as Freddy, as opposed to whoever the hell is rapping on the DJ Jazzy Jeff track.

2020 Update to this bullet point!

According to Hip-Hop Historian Werner Von Wallenrod, the Freddy in A Nightmare on My Street is actually Ready Rock C! So that’s pretty cool.

Additionally, it is Werner’s assessment this is NOT Robert Englund rapping on The Fat Boy’s track. While my instincts tell me this is Englund, due not only to his appearance in the video, but also the almost unmistakable quality of this Freddy voice, Werner has a compelling basis for his assertion.

It seems no pressing of this track actually credits Robert Englund as being a performer. Now, one might be inclined to think Robert would certainly be credited, if not even require being credited, if this was, in fact, him. Case in point: the 1987 album Freddy’s Greatest Hits 100% credits Robert Englund as providing the Freddy voice. In fact, it goes so far as to credit him as “the creator” of that voice. Robert probably has something of this nature dialed right into his contract, no doubt.

That album, being released a full year before Are You Ready for Freddy, sets a pretty clear precedent. The 12″ single for Are You Ready for Freddy and the The Fat Boy’s album, Coming Back Hard, which features the song, both include a special thanks to “Freddy Krueger.” But, that isn’t terribly compelling.

Wikipedia, which also isn’t necessarily compelling on its own, does credit Robert Englund as performing the Freddy voice. However, that article is itself citing a Rolling Stone article on the lawsuit between Jive Records and New Line Cinema regarding A Nightmare on My Street. Again, not super compelling, but that is Rolling Stone, for whatever that’s worth.

I think Werner has a good point, and there doesn’t seem to be much out there to roundly disprove his theory.  In my heart, I think I want to believe this is Robert, so I’m clinging to the idea that it is. But the truth is still out there, and you better believe if I ever see Robert Englund again at Monsterpalooza, I’m definitely asking him that shit.

Now back to our regularly scheduled post!

 

And if that wasn’t enough, lines like

“With a hat like a vagabond
Standin’ like a flasher
It’s Mr. Big Time, Fred Krueger
Dream crasher”

make all the difference in the world.

Freddymania is in full swing here in 1988 and the series has finally degraded into pure schillery. Freddy is a trade-able commodity now,  like pork bellies or silver. He starts hitting the talk show circuit, making music video appearances and hanging out in the windshield of cars.

I actually own this, and it’s fucking awesome.

A double-edged sword no doubt, as it’s exactly this kind of boardroom buffoonery that gives us such an awesome track as Are You Ready for Freddy (and my equally awesome sun-shield.)

But in terms of the movie, well viewers paid the price. Freddy’s crackin’ wise, sportin’ sunglasses and eatin’ pizza like some damned Ninja Turtle. Ceasing to be at all frightening and with the cleanest sweater I think he’s ever worn, Freddy’s less your dirty old dream diddler and more your pal. Hell, he’s brought back from his “grave” by the fiery urine of Kincaid’s dog Jason. Yeah, it sets up its jackassery early and securely.

But I enjoy The Dream Master for much the same reason I enjoy Freddy’s Dead: I love Freddy as a character (either scary or silly) and it’s just a ridiculous piece of horror film making.

Plus it has this song.

Which, interestingly enough, has an alternate version. There was a second, longer version of the track cut for the 12″ single. What? Now that’s the kinda shit The Shindig lives for.

So why isn’t that the featured track? Well, to be honest, I don’t like it as much. It’s a bit slower, the beats a little different and there’s a bunch of extra incidental sounds tossed all over it. It’s kinda weird.

Plus, it cuts out Freddy’s original rap at the end! What?! You get an alternate, almost spoken-word outro from The Dream Crasher, which is fun but just isn’t quite the same.

However, it does feature some pretty fantastic extra verses in the middle where The Boys detail the plot from the original Elm Street and talk about Freddy more. And there’s more samples from the original Elm Street thrown in for good measure. Bonus.

And cause we’re not the kinda outfit to tease a treat like that 10 days before Halloween, just click here to listen to (or download) the extended 12″ version.

But as far as the playlist is concerned, we’re keeping it real, cause you can’t not have Freddy rapping, c’mon.

So here’s to Mr. Big Time, forever immortalized in our musical dreams.

 

Audio

Friday The 13th Part 3 Theme

TRACK #123:

Theme From Friday The 13th Part 3  by Hot Ice

It may not be Harry Manfredini’s classic arrangement, but his Theme From Friday The 13th Part 3, as performed by Hot Ice is as bad news as any horror theme you can throw at me.

Spooky, synthy and down right Halloweeny, it’s one of my favorite horror themes ever. Even those partiers unfamiliar with its origins won’t question this instrumental inclusion on your Halloween playlist, so perfectly suited is it.

With it’s creepy theremin-like lead and that thumping bass-line, Hot Ice delivered the goods with a theme befitting Jason’s true debut.

In contrast to the previous entries, we finally start to see the killer in full stalk mode, as the producers set the table for how future installments will play. Mystery and surprise are bypassed, and tertiary characters are added merely as colorful cannon fodder.

More importantly though, Jason himself takes center stage and acquires the trademark mask with which he will forever be associated. Also, he develops this awkward and lumbering stature here, which combine to present one of my favorite versions of the character. I love this Jason. After this, he becomes a bit more consciously menacing and deliberate in his movements.

Originally presented in 3D, its a little gimmicky and the effect doesn’t really enhance the kills it seeks to enliven. Overall, they’re a hit and miss affair, but there are some solid and memorable ones along the way.

Jason’s first hockey mask adorned kill is a great example of a miss, though.

Being initially mistaken for Shelley would have been a good excuse for him to get up close and deliver a kill worthy of his new appearance.

Instead, keeping the audience at a distance and exploiting the 3D gimmick, he fires a harpoon from across the dock, and it feels a little lazy. At least he looks like a badass tossin’ the gun down.

Ultimately though, his final battle with Chris is great and features some of the series’ most iconic images.

Not the least of all is this, one of the few moments in all of Part 3 where the 3D is exploited to wonderful effect. This is arguably the most iconic image of Mr Voorhees, and it’s truly one of my favorites.

Then, if that wasn’t enough, you get this requisite Friday Dream Stinger, which for my money, is one of the scariest moments in the entire franchise.

You combine all of that with this perfectly suited theme from Hot Ice, and you’ve got a Friday for the ages.

 

Audio

Monster Shindig

TRACK #122:

Monster Shindig by Danny Hutton

The last time I checked this was a fucking shindig.

But what is a shindig, exactly?

Well, Merriam-Webster defines shindig as follows:

ˈSHinˌdiɡ/
noun informal

  1. a social gathering with dancing
  2. a usually large or lavish party

Google definitions had this to add:

  1. a large, lively party, especially one celebrating something.

Now, if you listen to any of the turkeys over at Urban Dictionary, they’d all have you believe a shindig is a small affair, consisting of anywhere from 5 to 20 people. One bozo even suggests it can contain no more than 12!

That’s why Webster’s is Webster’s and these idiot kids are logged into Urban Dictionary from their mom’s laptop.

No one better try curtailing our shindig, particularly not because some dildo in the cafeteria uses it improperly. No, we’re going definitive with our socially lavish and lively gathering that’s celebrating something.

And around here, that something is Halloween, which encompasses jack-o-Lanterns, trick or tricking and and all sorts of spooky shit of a generalized nature. That definitely includes Monsters.

From Hanna-Barbera’s 1965 record of the same name, Monster Shindig looks to muscle in on Boris Pickett’s racket by throwing their characters Super-Snooper and Blabber Mouse into the mix, stumbling upon just this type of haunted jamboree.

The cat and mouse team doesn’t show up in the song however, leaving this bizarro tune free to roam around the streets on Halloween night.

So, let’s have a party…big big big and kick-off the second half of our playlist right, with another kind of shindig, performed here by Danny Hutton, who some of you may know as one third of Three Dog Night.

Bring a ghoul-friend and go berserk!

 

Audio

End of Side One

TRACK #121:

End of Side One by Elvira

Elvira’s albums are chock full of the Vinyl Vixen bullshitting between songs and giving everybody audio hard-ons.

For many years I have used this spoken word outro from Vinyl Macabre as a way to split the playlist in two.

As of last count The Shindig clocked in at 240 tracks, making This Is Halloween the last track on “side one.”

Should the playlist grow in length (as it always seems to) I’ve decided to let this bumper be its own track so it can float to wherever that halfway point should fall in the future.
So we’re officially halfway through the playlist, gang!

If that sounds daunting and just makes you feel tired then go shit in a hat, bub. All you have to do is wait and listen. I’m doing all the heavy lifting over here, so if anyone should fell tired, it’s me. And I do, as I’ve fallen asleep during a total of 10 movies this October. My horror stats for this month are at an all time low.

But along comes Elvira with a little pick me up..

So, come on. Turn her over…

Good Lord is she sexy.