Audio

Here I Am

TRACK #251:

Here I Am by Elvira

Since we seem to be hearing a lot from Shindig members we haven’t seen in a while this year, let’s welcome back That Gal in Black Who Keeps Coming Back, Elvira.

Yep, it’s been about 4 years since The Shindig’s gotten a hitter from Casandra Peterson’s beloved horror icon. To be fair though, we front-loaded this playlist with a ton of Elvira, so giving ourselves a chance to cool off has been helpful.

By 1988, Elvira had burst from the confines of local Los Angeles late-night Television and into homes across the nation with guest appearances on shows like CHiPSThe Fall Guy and endorsements with companies like Coors Light.

However, that was the year Elvira made the great leap from the small screen to the silver screen with Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, a film she co-wrote herself with disembodied Pee-Wee’s Playhouse head, Jambi!

It’s a fun piece of 80’s horror camp that’s very entertaining, with some great special FX work and Elvira at her double entendre-delivering best.

After being sexually harassed by her station’s new owner, Elvira quits her job. Then, she finds out her Great Aunt Morgana died and left her a giant old house! So, she moves to Massachusetts to receive that inheritance.

Unfortunately, the town’s uppity constituency of conservative buttinskis don’t like the cut of her jib.  This doesn’t stop Every Tricker’s Treat from indulging in a montage to fix up the old mansion or host a late-night horror fest at the local movie palace. Eventually she gets accused of Witchcraft and almost gets burned at the stake!

All’s well that ends well for Elvira though, as she ultimately uses her inheritance to finance a life-long dream of starring in a lavish Las Vegas show; an occupation Casandra herself actually held at a rather young age.

I do regret to inform you, dear readers, that our beloved Casandra was nominated by those despicable cretins at the Golden Raspberry Committee, for worst actress 1989! Can you believe such a thing?

The good news is she lost to Liza Minnelli for a double-dose of dreafull performances in Arthur 2: On the Rocks and Rent-A-Cop. Still, I can’t believe Casandra was even nominated. Really? It’s a character, and a singular one at that. God, I really think I hate those Razzie fucks.

At any rate, Here I Am is the song she performs in that lavish Vegas show. And while it’s a tad short of my liking, it eventually evolves into a full on Monster Rap, which more than makes up for it’s brevity, in my opinion.

Since the very end of the song has no lyrics, due to Elvira beginning her famous tassel-swinging dance, I’ve included a gif of said dance, to fill the void.This is a dance, I’m proud to say, that I finally got to see Casandra perform live back in 2017, which was the farewell season of her famous, 21-year running Halloween stage show at Knottsberry Farm.

Here she is…Elvira!

 

Audio

The Haunted House of Rock: Mini-Playlist

Ok. So, now that I do have a record player, I can finally spin my previously only decorative copy of Whodini’s 12″ 45 for The Haunted House of Rock.

What does that mean for you, dear readers? Why a mini-playlist, of course!

Here, for your listening pleasure, are the 4 different versions of The Haunted House of Rock on offer from that single, including the exceedingly spooked-out Vocoder version.

For the uninitiated, a Vocoder is something you’re familiar with even if you aren’t familiar with the term.

Developed throughout the ’30s by Homer Dudley for Bell Labs, it was first unleashed to the public at the 1939 World’s Fair in New York.

It’s essentially a device that synthesizes human speech. It analyzes the source (your voice) and assigns different parts of that signal to different frequency bands. On the other side, a a series of band-pass filter reproduces those frequencies and, with the  help of an envelope follower, creates a robotic facsimile of your voice.

Initially, it was intended to reduce the bandwidth of vocal information for transmission over long distances. Problem was, it kind of sucked at reproducing the human voice convincingly. Too creepy.

Since that sort of thing never stops the United States Military, they put it to use during WWII to encrypt voice messages. See, without the proper frequency band information on the other end, the enemy could not decode that messages. Pretty neat.

However, thanks to several industrious souls, the vocoder soon found its way into the hands of musicians. Not the least of those souls were legendary synth builder Bob Moog and equally legendary synth user Wendy Carlos.

The musical incarnation works a bit differently, but it uses the same principle. Your voice is analyzed and then reproduced by the band-pass filters, but in this case, a “carrier” is sent through that filter as well, like the notes of a synthesizer. This allows you to alter the pitch of that robotic voice and create something altogether more interesting and musical.

Think Earth Wind and Fire’s Let’s Groove Tonight, Michael Jackson’s PYTDaft Punks Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, or (the ultimate example, if you ask me) the evil Decepticon Soundwave on the Transformers cartoon.

Used abusively throughout the 80’s by all all different genres, its has the unmistakable sound of a decade. Here, in modulated grandeur, Whodini asks…

Is this what you wanted?

Something funky and haunted?

To which I reply…

Yep.

Also of interest on the single is an Acapella version, which is kind of fun to hear and a Haunted Mix, which is mostly an instrumental track. There’s also a version which claims to be extended, but sounds no different to me than the version already present on Halloween Shindig.

Either way, it all adds up to the a spooky good time any fan of this song should definitely enjoy.

If you don’t wanna party, take your dead ass home!

 

Audio

Scream

TRACK #226:

Scream by Ice MC

All right. So I think we can all agree He’s Coming Back is a pretty bad Monster Rap.

I mean, it’s a Good Monster Rap, in that it’s a prime example of what these songs are all about and how that usually just goes terribly awry. But it is not a Good Monster Rap. Dig?

So, in an effort to redeem the Monster Rap genre (if that’s even feasible or worthy of attempt) we present to you Scream by Ice MC.

If you’re not familiar with Ice MC, please do not feel the least bit bad. This is no deficiency on your part.

Mostly likely this is because you’re either:

  1. An American.
  2. Not listening to Raggamuffin rap and/or
  3. A regular person doing regular things and not wasting what short time we have on this planet associating with shit like Scream by Ice MC. And I don’t blame you. I sometimes wish I was just that sort of person doing just those sorts things, whatever they may be.

In fact, I was that person until last week. Well, I was those first 2 types of people, anyway. Still an American too. Still not listening to any Ragamuffin rap, either. However, I do know what it is now and I have heard this song and I am quite presently wasting all kinds of precious time with it. But I digress.

I was definitely not familiar with this song until last week. That’s when Shindig super enthusiast and research beast Devin Connors hipped me to this track. And within about 30 seconds I knew he’d discovered gold.

What Ice MC has created here is a more approachable and less Faygo-drenched associative Monster Rap than a similarly themed example from another ice-based rapper.

Ice MC sets his sights and weird British accent to referencing several horror movies amidst the heavy electronic back beat and sample-stuffed rhythms of the Raggamuffin sound; a subset of Dancehall and Reggae music where sampling forms the backbone of the melody.

What unfolds is something somewhat unique in the Monster Rap game; A song strangely catchy, somewhat legitimately fun and yet laughably ridiculous. Boardering on bad while flirting with good, this song rests in a limbo not entirely either.

Run DMC’s Ghostbusters is too crafted to be thought silly. The Chucky Song too white and corporate to be considered real. Or something like last night’s He’s Coming Back, which is a bit too tedious to be genuinely enjoyed.

Scream appears more akin to something like Lovebug Starski’s Amityville or DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince’s Nightmare on My Street: completely independent, straight outta left field, eminently listenable and Shindig as fuck.

So thank you Devin for this wonderful new addition, though mine may be the only thanks you’ll receive.

A few side notes:

  1. Yes, that’s Aliens’ Ripley he refers to as Sgt. Weaver.
  2. No, I’m not sure why he does that.
  3. No, I also don’t know what the hell pumpkin on the telly he’s referring to from Halloween. I assume the credits
  4. I won’t spoil the elephant in the middle of this song, but it’s great, and you’ll know it when you hear it. Enjoy.
  5. And yes, he does say that. Several times.

 

 

Audio

He’s Coming Back

TRACK #225:

He’s Coming Back by Chris LeVrar

While attempting to pull some samples from Repossessed for its Title Track, I naturally stumbled across this end credit oddity, which can only be called a gem when you host a playlist like the one I’ve constructed here.

A highly referential Monster Rap Sweet Song? Oh, this is going on the playlist for sure, I don’t care how bad it is.

That this is my knee jerk reaction is a bit of a shame, because this song is bad. And I mean it’s bad, so I apologize for that.

So bad in fact, that you happen to be looking at the proud recipient of 1990’s Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Song from a Motion Picture.

I hope you all can understand and appreciate it’s inclusion. My compulsive need to include inclusive (and referential) Monster Raps Sweet Songs prevents me from treating this thing objectively, or considering your overall enjoyment of this playlist. But my hope is you can at least see why, when stumbling upon something of this nature, it has to be included.

Well, either way I apologize.

In fairness, the verses aren’t so bad. It’s really the chorus here that’s dragging this whole track down. But lyrically, you’re getting a heaping helping of allusions to the film, plenty of bizarro lines and a rhyme structure that is off-center, to say the least.

Not helping matters is it’s length. It’s crazy to me to think Repossessed had enough credits to sustain a 4 minute song. For real? That many heads on Repossessed? They must roll at an unnaturally slow pace, cause I don’t know what the hell all those people were doing.

I will say, I wish I had rediscovered this thing earlier so we could have had the chance to really dig into this one on our Monster Raps episodes. Oh well. Perhaps we’ll amass enough new Monster Raps to warrant a Part 3. Fingers crossed.

In closing, I do hope that somewhere, someone listening to this playlist actually likes this song. Or at the very least, appreciates the necessity of it’s inclusion, because I’m fairly sure they’ll be the only one.

 

Audio

Episode 4: Monster Raps Pt. 2

Speakin’ and thinkin’ about the Monster Raps…

Rejoin Graham C. Schofield, Mikey Rotella and Ed Twilley as they delve further than anyone asked into the Shindig sub-category nobody likes: MONSTER RAPS!

Covering the span from 1988 to 2011, they touch on everything from rappin’ peck Warwick Davis to Monster Rap juggernaut Ghostbusters 2 on an odyssey of poor rhymes, questionable beats and rampant commercialism.

But they don’t want to hurt anyone, they just like to have…fun.

Chicken.

Audio

Episode 3: Monster Raps Pt.1

In this episode Ed, Mikey and Graham dig deep into the playlist and explore it’s most divisive sub-catergory: MONSTER RAPS!

What are these mysterious curiosities that push the limits of taste and patience?

Are they classic horror-hits, or whack commercial cash-grabs?

Part 1 focuses on 1983 through 1988 covering everything from Whodini’s trendsetting Haunted House of Rock to DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince’s A Nightmare On My Street.

Just take a left, then take a right and….Shindig Radio!

Video

A Nightmare On My Street Video!

Only days after talking about how this video had not managed to emerged in 30 years…boom…as if we collectively willed it back into existence. And on Halloween no less!

And it’s the extended version? You gotta be kidding me.

It is a def day.

Well, shit.  I’m not sure when this video go yanked, but due to probably the same copyright infringement that got it pulled 30 years ago, it appears to be no longer available.

But, ya’ll must think I’m silly. This rumored video appears out of thin air after 30 years – after I emphatically petitioned the universe for it to be rediscovered – and you think I’d leave that shit to the whims of the Internet? Dear God no. I downloaded that fucker the first chance I got.

And since I’m not YouTube, and I’m not specifically bound to their regulations, you better believe I’m gonna host this fucker myself. Since no one actually visits this site, I don’t imagine it’ll be discovered quite so fast. I’m sure it will be, one day, and I’ll be forced to pull it down or just shut down myself. But until that day Shindiggers….enjoy!

Audio

A Nightmare On My Street (Extended Mix)

TRACK #206:

A Nightmare On My Street (Extended Mix) by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

I think it’s a testament to Freddy’s legacy and iconography that this Monster Rap is more well known than the Referentially Inclusive (and wildly superior) song by The Fat Boys. Seems more people are familiar with Freddy as a pop culture window cling than they are with the films themselves.

That’s not to say I don’t enjoy A Nightmare On My Street. Quite the contrary! I think it’s a great Monster Rap, and all the more so that the song is its own entity outside of the films. But when comparing the 2, I feel it is the clear also-ran, and i wish Are You Ready For Freddy was the more popular cut.

But here we have the DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince detailing an evening in which they take to the cinema with Ready Rock C and some honeys. There, they enjoy a new (and generic) Elm Street film, only to find themselves tormented by Freddy in the real world once the film ends. Shades of New Nightmare, or simply imagery from the original? Only Wes Craven knows for sure.

Though recorded in ’87, this single was released in August of ’88, right when Elm Street 4: The Dream Master was about to hit theaters. And while it’s more probable the the trio was seeing Dream Warriors at that time, the song seems similar in tone and even references Freddy’s Revenge. So who knows which Elm Street they did in fact see that night. Either way, it was def.

Speaking of The Dream Master, the producers actually considered including this song on the soundtrack, but ultimately could not come to an agreement with Misters Jeff & Fresh. New Line decided instead to just sue Jive/RCA  Records for copyright infringement. How’s that for a 180? Apparently there was a music video that was pulled from MTV as a result. Bet that was pretty def too. Unfortunately, that video seems to be lost forever, as it has yet to resurface on the Internet. It’ll be a pretty def day when someone find some forgotten copy and posts it.

Adding more intrigue to the mix, there’s even a handful of different versions of this track. The original LP and cassette version ran over 6 minutes long and contained some different lyrics. Now, a 6 minute rap song about a popular horror icon just won’t do for radio play, and the song was not simply trimmed, but altered somewhat. For reals?

Yep, that version we’ve all been listening to for the last 30 years ain’t the original. But, since the Shindig rolls hard on such matters, it has included the original 6 minute LP version for your enjoyment.

What revelations are to be found in this uncut version? Well for one, The Fresh Prince mentions Nancy, and while that could also refer to Dream Warriors, in context It seems more referential to the original. And while the extended lyric of “something about Elm Street was the movie we saw” is more ambiguous than him stating simply (but also a bit ambiguously) “we saw Elm Street,” I think it suggests they indeed done rushed a screening of Wes Craven’s 1984 classic.

What else is revealed? Welp, perhaps most strangely is that a rather innocuous original line about grabbing something cool to quench his thirst was replaced by a completely unnecessary product drop for Coke.

Now, I’ve read about fans being upset about this, but I’m not convinced its the nefarious product placement it may seem.

I guess if you need to shorten the song, the whole bit about coming downstairs, being alone but seeing the TV on is a little expository, so its a good spot for some revision. Moreover, the replacement of “remote” with “coke” actually alleviates the initial false rhyme with choked. It’s not great, but its an improvement.

Is it the marketing arm of Jive records stepping in and forcing a commercial? Naw, probably not, but I will admit, it is a little suspect. But mostly the omitted lyrics just add a little color, honestly. Just some more depth of descriptions to the events.

Because I couldn’t find one online (read: because no sane person really gives a shit or wastes their time on such nonsense) I’ve composed a comparison of the 2 versions for other dorks to look at and find interesting for a half a second.

  • Lyrics featured in both verisons will be in normal text color.
  • Lyrics specific to the Single version will be in green.
  • Lyrics specific to original Extended Mix will be in orange.

[Fresh Prince:]

Now I have a story that I’d like to tell

About this guy you all know him, he had me scared as hell!

He comes to me at night after I crawl into bed

He’s burnt up like a weenie and his name is Fred!

He wears the same hat and sweater every single day

And even if it’s hot, outside he wears it anyway!

He’s gone when I’m awake but he shows up when I’m asleep

I can’t believe that there’s a nightmare – on my street!

It was a Saturday evening if I remember it right

And we had just gotten back off tour last night

So the gang and I thought that it would be groovy

If we summoned up the posse and done rushed the movies

I got Angie, Jeff got Tina

Ready Rock got some girl I’d never seen in my life

That was all right because the lady was chill

Then we dipped to the theater set to ill
[Fresh Prince single:]

We saw Elm Street

And man, it was def!

Buggin! Cold havin a ball

And somethin bout Elm Street was the movie we saw

The way it started was decent, ya know nothing real fancy

Bout this homeboy named Fred and this girl named Nancy

But word, when it was over, I said, “Yo! That was def!”

And everything seemed all right when we left

But when I got home and laid down to sleep

That began the nightmare, on my street!

It was burnin in my room like an oven

My bed soaked with sweat, and man, I was buggin

I checked the clock and it stopped at 12:30

It had melted it was so darn hot, and I was thirsty

I went downstairs to grab some juice or a coke

Flipped the TV off, and then I almost choked

I wanted something cool, to quench my thirst

I thought to myself, “Yo, this heat is the worst!”

But when I got downstairs, I noticed something was wrong

I was home all alone but the TV was on!

I thought nothin of it as I grabbed the remote

I pushed the power button, and

then I almost choked

When I heard this awful voice comin from behind

It said, “You cut off ‘Heavy Metal’ and now you must die!”

Man, I ain’t even wait to see who it was

Broke outside in my drawers and screamed, “So long, cuz!”

Got halfway up the block I calmed down and stopped screamin

Then thought, “Oh, I get it, I must be dreamin”

I strolled back home with a grin on my grill

I figured since this is a dream I might as well get ill

I walked in the house, the Big Bad Fresh Prince

But Freddy killed all that noise real quick

He grabbed me by my neck and said, “Here’s what we’ll do.

We gotta lotta work here, me and you.

The souls of your friends you and I will claim.

You’ve got the body, and I’ve got the brain.”

I said, “Yo Fred, I think you’ve got me all wrong.

I ain’t partners with nobody with nails that long!

Look, I’ll be honest man, this team won’t work.

The girls won’t be on you, Fred your face is all burnt!”

Fred got mad and his head started steamin

But I thought what the hell, I’m only dreamin

I said, “Please leave Fred, so I can get some sleep;

Or gimme a call, and maybe we’ll hang out next week.”

I patted him on the shoulder said, “Thanks for stopping by.”

Then I opened up the door and said, “Take care guy!”

He got mad, drew back his arm, and slashed my shirt

I laughed at first, then thought, “Hold up, that hurt!”

It wasn’t a dream, man, this guy was for real

I said, “Freddy, uh, pal, there’s been an awful mistake here.”

No further words and then I darted upstairs

Crashed through my door then jumped on my bed

Pulled the covers up over my head

And said, “Oh please do somethin with Fred!”

He jumped on my bed, went through the covers with his claws

Tried to get me, but my alarm went off

And then silence! It was a whole new day

I thought, “Huh, I wasn’t scared of him anyway.”

Until I noticed those rips in my sheets

And that was proof that there had been a nightmare, on my street

Oh man, I gotta call Jeff, I gotta call Jeff

Come on, come on

Come on Jeff, answer

Come on, man

[Jazzy Jeff] Hello?

[Fresh Prince] Jeff, this is Prince, man

Jeff, wake up,

Jeff, wake up

[Jazzy Jeff:] What do you want?

[Fresh Prince:] Jeff, wake up, man, listen to me, Jeff

[Jazzy Jeff:] It’s three o’clock in the mornin, what do you want?

[Fresh Prince:] Jeff, Jeff, would you listen to me?

Listen, whatever you do, don’t fall asleep

[Jazzy Jeff:] Man!

[Fresh Prince:] Jeff, listen to me, don’t go to sleep, Jeff

[JJ:] Look, look, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, I’m going to bed

[Freddy:] RRAHHHH!

[JJ:] Ahhhhhh!

[Fresh Prince:] Jeff! Jeff!

[Freddy:] Ha ha ha ha ha haaaa!

[Jazzy Jeff:] Ahhhhhh!

[Fresh Prince:] Jeff!

[Freddy:] RRAHHHH!

[Fresh Prince:] Jeff! Answer me, Jeff!

[Freddy:] I’m your D.J. now, Princey!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa!

So there you have it. Far too much copy regarding a silly novelty song about Freddy Krueger. But, I’m not sure The Shindig would have it any other way. Enjoy the extended version of A Nightmare On My Street.

And whatever you do,..don’t fall asleep.

 

Audio

The Chucky Song

TRACK #204:

The Chucky Song by Simon Stokes & Joe Renzetti

As we’ve often said here on The Shindig, it seemed like everything and everyone was rapping in the late 80’s. If you wanted to lame something up real quick, you made a fuckin’ rap.

Which is apparently exactly what composer Joe Renzetti and songwriter Simon Stokes did in 1988 for Child’s Play. Only problem was that someone above their pay grade said “Yeah, I dunno about this bullshit, fellas.” And like that, the The Chucky Song was shelved.

Now, while that person may have had half a brain, they were also a goddamn communist. How the fuck do you axe this track? In 1988? As a Sweet Song playing over the end credits? I mean, I understand why maybe it makes some logical sense, if you’re attempting to keep up the appearance of a legitimate horror film, but c’mon. This shit is gold, and not just because it’s ridiculous. I mean, it is, but all playing aside, this is a legit song, and not a half bad one.

Sure it’s goofy, but it’s catchy as shit and the lyrical content is on point. There’s tons of direct references, Good Guy Doll phrases, a Chucky voice, kids singing, and they even toss in Charles Lee Ray’s voodoo chant. C’mon! There’s a lot of bad monster raps out there, and this definitely isn’t one of them.

As such, I’m stoked (pun firmly intended) that this escaped. I don’t know how, why, or who’s responsible for this ultimately seeing the light of day, by they deserve the goddamn Noble Peace Prize.

This could easily have never graced the public’s ears. Or worse yet, we could have quiet rumors of it’s existence with no actual proof. But we are a fortunate people, and for that we bestow upon it the highest of honors we can…a spot on The Shindig.

Hidee-Ho!

 

Audio

Lep In The Hood

TRACK #203:

Lep In The Hood by Warwick Davis

When it comes to Monster Raps, I’m a huge fan. A legitimate fan. I legitimately like these songs.

That’s not to say I don’t see why they’re ridiculous. But I like them. I bump them in my car. In a lot of cases, they’re actually good songs.

I can not say the same for this particular Monster Rap.

Don’t get me wrong, I love The Leprechaun. I love Warwick Davis. I have the box set. Vegas is awesome. Space is fun as well. Leprechaun in the Hood is a particular joy, and even Back 2 the Hood has its moments. But Lep In The Hood is not a good song.

I enjoy it. I love that it exists. It’s hands-down playlist material, but it’s a bad song, to be sure.

It could have been good too; with a better beat, some more inspired lyrics and a little more commitment than the halfassery on display here, this could have been a great Monster Rap.

But I’m not one to stare a gift horse in the mouth, and any Warwick Davis rapping as the Leprechaun is better than no Warwick Davis rapping as the Leprechaun, so hats off to the producers on that account.

Thank you for giving this to the World, even if the World doesn’t really appreciate it.