Aerobicide/Woman on Fire

TRACK #152:

Aerobicide/Woman On Fire by Mary Hylan/Jill Colucci

For a certain type of 80’s horror junkie, Aerobicide might be a wet dream come true.

There’s a formulaic and totally telegraphed whodunit plot. There’s an impractical and ridiculously oversized safety pin for a murder weapon. There’s an awesome hard-boiled detective. There’s even awesomer private investigator played by 80’s cheeseball-badass Ted Prior. There’s cheap karate, a rake fight, nudity and no shortage of 80’s babes in workout gear getting physical.

But above all, there’s absolutely relentless 80’s synth-pop soundtrack.

However, there’s a couple injustices besetting this soundtrack. Namely, it was never officially released. Why? This thing is great. And why hasn’t anyone resurrected  it yet? Where’s Death Waltz Records on this forgotten gem of a soundtrack?

There are rumors of promotional copies floating around that were release in ’84. It’s also said that all of the songs were released separately on 7″ vinyls by their various artists. Good luck finding any of those.

Secondly, and most unfortunately, the greatest of all these tracks is featured so briefly in the film it beggars belief. Worst of all, it’s the film’s Title Track. What? This isn’t the song played over the credits? This is the song that gets barely a minute of screen time so as we can’t even steal it properly? What cruel rouse is this?

Perhaps it can be explained by the inexplicable decision to retitle the film Killer Workout. Why would someone do such a thing? Is Aerobicide too high-concept? Too confusing? Similar to Land of the Minotaur, it’s not a bad title on its own. But when you compare it to Aerobicide, it’s no contest.

And because of that, this song should be all over this movie, or at the very least played during the credits. As a people, we need this whole song.

But, beggars can’t be choosers, so well provide what’s available of that track and just lead it into the aptly titled Woman on Fire by Jill Colucci, cause what else can we do?

On a side note, if you happen to find the voice of Jill Colucci sounds a bit familiar to you, it may be because she’s responsible for the theme to America’s Funniest Home Videos. Ok, that’s pretty weird.

For now, take what you can get and try to grab a copy of Aerobicide for yourself, which was finally made a whole lot easier last year when Slasher//Video released both a DVD and Blu-Ray of a video transfer.

Oh, and keep and eye out for this spray paint, which predates the film Death Spa by about 3 years. Coincidence? I dunno, but these 2 would make for one heaving, sweaty double-feature.

There’s an 80’s horror fan reading this right now. Aerobicide is their favorite movie, they just don’t know it yet.

Is that reader you?

R.I.P. David Prior

Today The Shindig, horrordom, 80’s Actiondom and indeed all of moviedom has lost a great contributor in writer/director/producer David Prior.

Beloved by The Shindig specifically for the ridiculously 80’s and ridiculously awesome Aerobicide (aka Killer Workout) and by me personally for additions to my life such as Deadly Prey, Raw Nerve, Mankillers, Jungle Assault, The Final Sanction and the SOV pioneer Sledgehammer, David’s pictures always felt like the product of a pure desire to just make movies and never disappointed.

Regrettably, Aerobicide (and Woman On Fire) are deeper within the playlist than I have yet to reach on this blog, but David’s musical contributions will have their day on The Shindig, to be sure.

David will be missed but his work will live on in the hearts and minds of myself and his fans all over the world.

Though this obscure blog and 1 fan can hardly provide any amount of solace to a grieving family that has no idea they even exist, Halloween Shindig still sends its condolences to David’s brother Ted and the rest of the Prior family. I have truly enjoyed what he has given to the world and the VHS copies of his films that I have are among the most beloved in my collection. I will continue to cherish them for as long as I am able.

Rest in peace David Prior.

A little piece of cinema just stopped exploding.