Audio

Fast As a Shark

TRACK #127:

Fast As a Shark by Accept

I wanted to keep the Demons train rolling and mash-up Boddy Rhodes’ Hank from Demons 2 but that soundtrack kinda sucks. Save for Rain by the Cult and some fun score music, it’s a pretty lame horror soundtrack and is almost completely useless to The Shindig.

“Take this! I’ll hang onto this!”

They opted to go all new wave gothy with the sequel and while I love The Cult (perhaps the only rock outfit on there), I tried it out and Rain just isn’t ballsy enough for all of Bobby’s shouting.

You know what is?

Accept.

They got their balls to the wall, as it happens. So I decided to cheat a little.

Bobby Rhodes is just too good to leave in the lurch because of an inferior soundtrack and the original Demons has too good of a soundtrack not to double dip.

So we’re gonna bust out a Demons double shot for ya. Here’s Accept’s Fast As a Shark from Demons 1 sampled out with tons of from shit from Hank in Demons 2.

Horseshoes and hand-grenades as far as The Shindig is concerned.

Perhaps better suited to a giallo than a supernatural tale of possession, Fast As a Shark is still a pretty awesome track for any horror movie, full stop. Delivering its somewhat moot warning while letting you know just how royally fucked you are. Holy shit.

And to cap it all off they’re just putting you on blast:

“Now it’s your time.

A loser will die.”

Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence Accept.

As for Demons 2, it’s pretty much the same damn movie, only everyone’s stuck in an apartment complex and the creatures emerge from a TV broadcast instead of a film.

There’s more characters, spreading around the action a little more but dragging the pace down a bit. Obviously, Bobby Rhodes is back, this time in the form of physical trainer Hank. He’s a more stand-up cat and a much better leader, otherwise he might as well just be Tony The Pimp in sweatpants.

There’s even another group of time-sensitive teens driving around trying to get to the main location. Yeah, it’s pretty much the same movie. Except, ya know, for its shittier, non-metal soundtrack.

It’s also little sillier around the edges with a few children, including a very young Asia Argento. One of these little fuckers actually turns into a demon, which itself is pretty cool. That is until this winged gremlin-like ghoulie-thing tears out of his stomach. Again, kinda cool when it happens, but then it starts chasing the pregnant woman all around. That gets a bit clowny.

The additional characters make the chaos a bit little less focused. There’s the couple stuck in the elevator, the lady with her demon dog, Sally and her birthday partiers all dealing with different levels of demonoid phenomenon.

Meanwhile, Hank and some of his gym-short meat-heads are holding it down in the parking garage, flipping cars, tossin’ molotovs, busting up demons with axes and gunning down possessed fools left and right.

As horror sequels go, it’s not bad. It sticks to the formula pretty stringently, offering up the same basic premise while upping the ante just enough. And like most sequels, it fails to outdo its predecessor. But honestly, if they keep calling forth demons and letting Bobby Rhodes miraculous return to battle ’em back, The Shindig it’d be all over it. Unfortunately the  Demons saga gets all fuckered after part 2.

Lamberto directed The Ogre in 1988, which was widely released as Dèmoni 3. It is not. Similarly, Umberto Lenzi directed Dèmoni 3 (aka Black Demons) in ’91. This is also not Demons 3.

Officially, Demons 3 is Michele Soavi’s 1989 movie The Church (aka Cathedral of Demons or Demon Cathedral) which, while pretty badass, doesn’t necessarily feel like a Demons movie either. Though after a sinister crypt it opened, the titular church does seal itself shut much like in the earlier Demons outings.

But, we fans still get all the Bobby Rhodes-Demon-action we can from the original double-header. So come on Weeners, MOVE IT! MOVE IT!

 

Audio

Night Danger 

TRACK #126:

Night Danger by Pretty Maids

Ah Demons, how I love thee. Let me count the ways.

This awesome Italian gore-fest from Mario Bava’s son Lamberto might not live up to his father’s catalog in the masterful film making department, but what it lacks in finesse it more than makes up for in kick ass gore effects, hilarious dubbing and general balls-to-the-wallsery.

The setup is simple. Unsuspecting movie-goers attending the premier screening of a new horror film become possessed by the same evil unfolding on the screen. Cue crazy demon madness.

What I love most about Demons (is not,  bizarrely enough, it’s soundtrack) but Bobby Rhodes’ pimp-hero Tony. Or rather, I should say whoever dubbed him in English. They’re both awesome and the two form together like the Wonder Twins to create something even more awesome.

My pal Mikey, who met Bobby Rhodes at Fangoria’s Weekend of Horrors some years ago, said he has this really thick Italian accent and it was bizarre to hear that voice coming out of his face. Here’s a picture. Mikey is appropriately pumped.

Cause Tony is the fucking man and he provides us with some of the greatest get-it-done, no-nonsense tough-guy horror movie bullshit ever committed to the screen. He’s seriously one of my favorite horror heroes of all time and though he dies about halfway into the proceedings, he (or rather Bobby and the awesome guy who dubs him) return in a more noble fashion for Demons 2. Double bonus.

What I love second about Demons is its unrelenting gore-soaked effects from maestro Sergio Stivalleti. The movie is caked in oozing liquids, green foam and nasty teeth. The demons look mean and scary as hell while they mercilessly rip the unsuspecting movie-goers to shred.

Coming in third is the soundtrack. It’s a serious 80’s metal bash and exactly what you want from a horror soundtrack: Accept, Saxon, Motely Crue, Billy Idol, hell there’s even a random Rick Springfield song in there for good measure.

So, with all those heavy hitters then, why choose Pretty Maids? Well, first thing is  Night Danger fucking rules and is exactly the kinda rocking 80’s metal storm the Shindig needs to follow up the King.

Secondly, it’s all Satany and badass.

Thirdly, it’s front and center in the film, right as all the demon shit hits the fan.

Spliced with tons of samples from Tony the Pimp cause fuck yeah.

Whadda you waiting for, you sonofvubitch!?