Oct. 28th: Flesh Eater (1988)

Once you’ve experienced enough completely atrocious or utterly unwatchable garbage, regular bad movies just don’t seem so bad anymore. Sometimes they even seem pretty fun and likeable, and some things that any normal person would completely dismiss become weird, small joys.

It was suggested to me that this is exactly happened when I watched Flesh Eater. Now, I’m almost inclined to agree somewhat, but I still think this one has a lot of legitimate good to offer.

It would appear that Bill Hinzman was pretty bored and not cashing-in enough on his former appearance as the cemetery zombie from Romero’s original Night of the Living Dead. So he set about writing, directing, producing and starring in this spin-off movie about just that zombie.

Sound pretty great? Well, it’s actually a whole lot of fun.

First and foremost, it’s got some great gore gags from Pittsburgh FXician and all around awesome dude Jerry Gergely. Bonus.

Plus, It’s got that low-budget, mid-80’s townie vibe that I just love in a horror movie.

Also, it’s got absolutely relentless, weapon wielding maniac-zombies that literally kill everyone they come across. This movie spares no one.

Additionally, it’s got all the weirdo dialogue, goofball acting, and almost unanimous under-reactions to all of its zombie chaos that make for an entertaining watch.

And last but by no means least, it’s got Halloween. There’s trick or treating, candy apple making, costumes, decorations and the requisite Halloween dance party.

While not quite the official sequel it imagines itself to be, Flesh Eater rather seems like some sot of bizarro Night of the Living Dead from another dimension where that movie was never made in ’68. This might actually be what Night of the Living Dead would look like if it had been churned out in the mid-80’s by someone a lot less capable than George A. Romero and featured Halloween.

I can’t say you’ll enjoy Flesh Eater as much as I do, or at all really, but I’d gladly take this over any unnecessary remake, found footage nonsense, or whatever spooky ghostboy bullshit is clogging up cinemas, redbox and video-on-demand any old Oct. 28th of the year.

1 dead little angel and a drunk Dracula up!

Designation: Treat!

Audio

Night Of The Living Dead

TRACK #88:

Night of the Living Dead by The Misfits

Ah, Night of the Living Dead. A true classic by any definition. Romero’s Dead opener redefined horror, the zombie, claustrophobia and human villainy. And everyone’s been apin’ it since.

At the impressionable age of 12, it began a love affair with horror films that only gets stronger every year. It was the first one to really knock me on my ass:

“Holy shit?! Movies can end like that?!”

I shout to no one, in my Massachusetts bedroom late one Halloween night.

I respond 20 years later through a Halloween blog,

“They sure can kid, but most of em won’t, so don’t get too comfortable.”

It’s a film I love, no asterisk.

However, when it comes to a Halloween playlist, there ain’t much there to spin for your guest. No worries cause The Misfits have us all covered.

This ain’t no love-in, this ain’t no happenin’, it’s a goddamn Halloween party, so stumble in somnambulance!They’re coming to get you, Barbara…