The Wicker Man

TRACK #102:

The Wicker Man by Iron Maiden

One of my favorite horror movies of all time is The Wicker Man. It’s awesome. If you’ve never seen The Wicker Man, it comes highly recommended from Halloween Shindig.

Being part of what was referred to in the 70’s as Folk Horror, The Wicker Man follows Police Sargent Neil Howie as he investigates an anonymous tip of a missing girl on Summerilse, a secluded island off the coast of Scotland.

There, a small but jovial group of Celtic pagans are free to practice their religion unfettered by the prying eyes of a judgmental society. That is until devout Christian Sargent Howie starts poking his disapproving nose around.

It is slow burn horror at its finest with an unsettling sense of dread which mounts to one of the great reveals in horror history.

With effective turns from horror vet Christopher Lee as Lord Summerisle, Edward Woodward as Sargent Howie, plus a cast of creepsters as wide as the island, The Wicker Man isn’t your typical horror movie. Lacking gore, trite frights or largely any of the overt trapping of the genre, The Wicker Man‘s true horror is a psychological and social one that is both subtle and unnerving, and lingers long after the embers of its titular effigy fade.

It would double feature nicely with Dead and Buried, another creepfest about a small town of weirdos doing weird shit.

All that said, one of my favorite bands of all time is Iron Maiden. With Steve Harris’ unstoppable bass, the dueling harmonies of Adrian Smith and Dave Murray, Niko McBain’s thunderous percussion and Bruce Dickenson’s stainless steel vocals, they’re a heavy metal force for the ages.

So when these guys decided to cut a track about The Wicker Man, you know it’s a guaranteed Shindigger.

And though I like the studio version, it can’t hold a candle to the intensity of this opener from their Rock In Rio live album. Plus, it’s got that epic instrumental introduction, just perfect for overlaying this equally perfect sample.

So, come Weeners, it is time to keep your appointment with The Wicker Man.

Leatherface

TRACK #101:

Leatherface by Lääz Rockit

There’s no shortage of music for 80’s horror icons, no matter how popular or obscure. From Matt Cordell to Horace Pinker, no psycho is too small for a Title Track. Hell, even Bud the C.H.U.D. has his own song, and he ain’t even a real C.H.U.D.

However, when it comes to The Big 5, there’s a lot of representation from some pretty heavy hitters.

And though Freddy may have Dokken (and The Fat Boys), and Jason may hang out with Alice Cooper, and Pinhead might be backed up by Motörhead and Michael Myers may just have greatest theme in horror history, Leatherface gets the baddest song of the bunch, in my opinion. It may be from rock’s forgotten sons Lääz Rockit, but this song is tough as shit.

The whole Leatherface soundtrack is pretty rock solid, but this Title Track is everything you want for everyone’s favorite chainsaw-wielding, cross-dressing, skin-wearing, Texas-fried lunatic; some kick-ass shredding, some disgruntled vocals and some highly referential lyrical content. Handled.

I’ve lead the track in with Tobe Hopper’s iconic introduction (as read by Night Court’s John Larroquette’s) because let’s face it, that intro from part 3 sucks balls.

From another mostly forgettable retread in the under-capitalized Texas Chainsaw franchise, it’s Lääz Rockit, headin’ for the crossroad with Leatherface.

Here’s your invitation.

Halloween

TRACK #100:

Halloween by The Misfits

Is it the ultimate Halloween song? Well, in certain circles, I’m sure it is.

While The Shindig isn’t quite sold on its top billing, there are a few things we are sure of:

It’s one hell of a Halloween jam.
It’s been on The Shindig since its very first 700mg CD incarnation.
It belongs on every Halloween party playlist ever created. Period. I don’t even care if you don’t like The Misfits. Include it.
It’s easily one of the 5 greatest Halloween songs ever recorded.

Danzig’s trip down memory lane hits all the high points of Halloween; pumpkin faces, brown leaves, kids trick or treating in costumes, candy apples and razor blades. Plus some other stuff about dead cats and burning bodies hanging from poles.

Now, while I’ve certainly never encountered such as this on any Hallow’s Eve I’ve ever lived through, that’s not to say they aren’t Halloween staples, especially not for Glenn Danzig. Guy remembers Halloween a little different than you and me. Or guy just parties a little harder. Or hell, maybe that’s the sort of thing that happened on October 31st in Lodi New Jersey during the 60’s, I dunno. Whatever the reason, it’s a pretty Halloweeny ass image none-the-less.

So, let us enter the triple digits, and kick off this, a most grand and seasonal block of Halloween Shindig with The Misfits and Halloween.

I remember Halloween.

The Devil’s Son

TRACK #99:

The Devil’s Son by D.C. Lacroix

If you were following last year and caught Halloween Shindig’s 31 days of Halloween Horror, then you’re no doubt familiar with the bit of Samhain Horror goodness called Hack-O-Lantern (aka Halloween Night aka The Damning aka Death Mask aka The Most Awesomely Titled Movie With This Many Awesome Alternate Titles)

Unlike some other Rock ‘N Roll Horror outings claiming association with then Eve of All Saints, this one actually delivers the goods, and then some.

A perfect selection for an October night of drinking and buffoonery, Hack-O-Lantern is an absolutely ridiculous mess of low-rent satanism, Halloween madness and Rock ‘N Roll attitude.

What more do you want?

Skin? Got it.
Weird murders? Got that too.
Someone in a mask doing the murdering? Yup. Be Something’s Hooded Fear
Pumpkins? By the truckload.
Halloween decorations? Indeed.
A Halloween party? Totally.
Graveyard goings-ons? Oh, just murder, sex. kids trick or treating.
A Rock ‘N Roll video posing as a dream sequence? You know it.
Eye lasers which produce shrunken heads from drum equipment? Check that shit out ==>
More eyes laser that turn guitars into tridents? Only here.
Completely impromptu, unfunny and non-sequitor stand-up routines? Yeah, that’s there too for some reason.
Nonsensical theatrics and bizarre scripting? Boy howdy.

Easily accessible on YouTube, this one should not go unwatched by anyone this Halloween. And if your buddy pops over with Rocktober Blood, up the ante with this actual Halloween horror gem.

So here’s Tommy, pretending to know how to use a guitar with D.C. Lacroix, performing the certified Shindigger The Devil’s Son.

Scream Dream

TRACK #98:

Scream Dream by Rikk-O-Shay

The first 2 minutes of this 1989 Rock ‘N Roll Horror opus is literally a girl screaming. Now I know 2 minutes might not sound like a long time, but when it’s one chick screaming over and over, almost identically each time, it feels like some godforsaken pit of eternity. It’s one of the most excruciating openings to any film I’ve ever seen.

Yeah, she’s half naked, and a chainsaw eventually rips through her crotch, but that doesn’t change the fundamental essence of what this scene asks of its audience: can you ignore every instinct you have to cancel this shit and endure?

At first it just seems like a really long scream, and you imagine it can’t possibly keep going. Then you can’t believe it’s still happening. About 20 seconds in, it becomes humorous. This quickly fades. Seriously? She’s still screaming?

You still have another minute and a half.

Each second is another dare: how long will you just sit there and watch this?

It becomes almost suspenseful in its annoyance. How long will this persist?

Then, self reflection sets in: Why am I doing this? What’s wrong me? Are these the choices of my life?

Then the questions: How ever did someone endeavor to shoot this? To edit this?! Watch this repeatedly to tighten it up? Holy shit, this might have been longer…

What mad sadist would subject himself, his crew and his audience to this?

Then the screaming stops.

As the memory of that horror throbs in your eardrum like a stubbed toe, the words “written and directed by Donald Farmer” appear. The architect of your pain has a name. If you know this name, you’re fully aware of what’s to come. If you don’t, by the time it’s over, you will.

It’s a ballsy move, and for those with the fortitude, the subsequent 60 minutes are pure gold.

When I watch garbage, I want something akin to Scream Dream; shoestring relentlessness that’s unapologetic, mind boggling and approaching unwatchablity, while still somehow being entertaining. It’s not best in show, but it delivers enough to satisfy, and certainly more than most of the scrubs on this list.

When I watch a Rock ‘N Roll Horror flick, I also want something akin to Scream Dream; bad rock and lots of it. Whether it’s just the music, tons of footage of the bands playing it, or generalized Rock ‘N Roll goings-ons. Scream Dream’s got that in spades. Much more than most of these wanna-be’s.

It’s ain’t good, but it ain’t hard to watch (mostly) and at 68 minutes, it doesn’t stick around long enough to lose you, or make any sense of itself. It’s a winner of a loser.

More importantly, we’re getting this Title Track (incessantly) throughout. This puts Scream Dream up at the top of the Rock ‘N Roll Horror heap in our book, despite how long and repetitive that track may be. Seriously, it’s the same riff for like 4 and a half minutes….and I trimmed it down…

Donald Farmer.

Blood Tracks

TRACK #97:

Blood Tracks by Easy Action

If you listen to IMDb users, you’d think Blood Tracks was the worse movie ever made. But if you listen to IMDb users, you’d think every movie was the worst movie ever made. Those goofballs hand out that award like they got an overstocked warehouse they have to unload cheap.

My guess? They just haven’t seen enough movies, or at least not the right ones, cause Blood Tracks (while certainly not approaching good) is definitely not approaching the “worst movie ever.” Hell, I wouldn’t even put it near a top 20. You need a little something special to make it into that crew, and frankly Blood Tracks just doesn’t have it.

Too mildly bad and too mostly forgettable for any such distinction, Blood Tracks sort of just exists, like a myriad of other Rock ‘N Roll Horrors begging to be better one way or the other.

What Blood Tracks does have (aside from its awesome double entendre title) is some sweet snow rocking compliments of (the fantastically named) Easy Action, posing as (the unfortunately named) Solid Gold.

See, Solid Gold’s looking to cut a video up in the mountains. Ya know, cause that’s the sleaziest most rocking locale around. Not the seedy titty-bar off Sunset, or the beach, or the pool at Caesar’s Palace, but the mountains. The freezing shitty mountains.

It is worth noting that their rocking does cause an avalanche, putting their rock into a most ridiculous category, somewhere between DC Lacroix’s shrunken head inducing laser metal and Dokken’s Freddy shredding guitar solos.

Now snowed in, the band, the management, the techs and the video hoes are all beset by a Hills Have Eyes fashioned family. Mayhem ensues. Thankfully for us, not before Solid Gold gets a chance to rock out a bit and indulge in a little rock star behavior; drinking, drugs, snowbound sex.

Frankly though, not enough for my tastes. Could have used more, cause once the horror hits, the rocking ceases and these groupies and band members could be any old generic group of horror assholes.

The acting is pretty awesome however, and there are some great lines delivered poorly. Some of the kills are pretty interesting, and the whole thing moves rather quickly. But I’m just not getting enough of its terrible (or enough of its good) to make Blood Tracks much more than “Oh yeah, that Swedish one with the band in the snow.” Certainly not the worst movie I’ve ever seen.

It’s not even the worst Rock ‘N Roll Horror movie I’ve seen. Not by a long-shot. Particularly considering it has the wherewithal to serves up a Title Track, something no movie watcher should ever discredit.

Unfortunately, the movie seems to be the only place this track exists, as it can’t be found on any of Easy Actions albums. Which is shameful, especially since In The Middle of Nowhere and We Go Rocking (both also featured in the film) are readily available. C’Mon gang, make with the goods! The Shindig needs more than just a snippet of you Title Track to represent.

But we beggars can’t be choosers, so at #97, here’s what exists of Easy Action’s Title Track triple threat Blood Tracks.

New Year’s Evil

TRACK #96:

New Year’s Evil by Shadow

One of the earliest and perhaps least applicable Rock ‘N Roll Horror entries, I toss New Year’s Evil into the mix for a couple different reasons.

While a band or singer is not at the forefront of the film (admittedly the most overriding prerequisite for a RNRH) you’ll get to see a lot of band action, notably from our number 96 ‘diggers Shadow. This is more than you’ll even get from such “certified” Rock ‘N Roll Horror entries as Dead Girls or the wildly mislabeled Slaughterhouse Rock, so fuck it!

Our protagonist and final “girl” is a Disc Jockey named Blaze, and the whole plot revolves around her New Year’s Rock ‘N Roll countdown aptly titled New Year’s Evil. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Plus, I like New Year’s Evil, which is more than can say for a lot of the other duds this category has to offer.

And what’s more, it doesn’t disappoint in the soundtrack department. It even goes so far as throw down an awesome Title Track. Now you’re talking language of this playlist.

However, as a rule, The Shindig avoids Christmas-themed horror music (with 1 notable exception.) Christmas already encroaches enough on Halloween without it invading the fucking Shindig to boot. So, if it seems a bit strange to include such a non-Halloween holiday song, consider this: Samhain was New Years Eve to the Celts. So there’s that. It’s clearly not the same New Year Blaze and “Evil” are ringing in, but what the hell, huh?

I’d be remiss to leave if off the list. I’d be even more remiss to cut it from The Shindig.

Here’s Shadow with another glorious Title Track, 1980’s New Year’s Evil.

We Live To Rock

TRACK #94:

We Live To Rock by Thor and The Tritonz

The best song (and maybe even scene) from The Edge of Hell is also perhaps Thor’s greatest song altogether, We Live To Rock.

Perfectly summarizing Thor’s rock-philosophy in a 4 word chorus, We Live To Rock is a metal anthem for the ages.

It hails from a time in metal when the greatest source of inspiration was one’s own devotion to, and level of – rocking. These were the good ole days; the days when all you had to do was talk about how much you rocked, the manner in which you rocked and that you fully intended to continue rocking, to make a great song.

And a great song it is.

The end sample is from John Cody Fasano’s Thor: The Rock Opera. Taking place after the events of Edge of Hell’s sequel The Intercessor, the final installment in the Rock ‘N Roll Nightmare Trilogy finds Thor battling the evil snake god Jörmungandr and his evil karaoke henchman Metallus.

Standby for a GIF-rally from John Cody’s Rock Opera, starring my good pal Matt Mastrella.

Until then, let them know…

Me Against The World

TRACK #93:

Me Against The World by Lizzy Borden

Heavy Metal contains a demonic power. It seems a sinister and subversive force seeking to set upon our children and corrupt them against ourselves, our values, our religions and our very way of life.

In John Fasano’s Black Roses, the titular band takes this idea to its natural and literal end. They are demons in disguise; corrupting and possessing the children of Millbasin in an all-out-war of the night against the adults. They become the black roses, soldiers of the night, and slowly begin killing their parents.

Listen Bro, I don’t care how cool your Powerslave shirt is, you touch my Black Roses LP and you’re getting laid the fuck out.

Fasano’s second roll ‘n rock horror odyssey plays almost like antithetical companion piece to Edge of Hell. Where Thor’s metal works as a power of light to defeat the Devil, The Black Roses show us it can also have the power conspire with the old scratch and do his bidding.

Viewed as such, they make a nice double feature. Black Roses, however (for better or worse) is a much more polished work. In not serving as a vehicle for Jon-Mikl Thor’s ego and equally large wardrobe, the whole thing feels less like a glorified music video and more like a genuine film.

There’s definite production value increases; a larger cast, a more involved plot, multiple locations, a pretty legit looking concert opener, and an overall improvement on a special effects level.

I say for better or worse because all of this may or may not increase your enjoyment of Black Roses over Edge of Hell. Gone is Thor’s over the top muscle-metal machismo. Gone are the truly silly effects. Gone is that absolutely ridiculous b-movie sensibility.

Now, if that’s the sort of thing you hate about Edge of Hell, then perhaps Black Roses will prove more enjoyable for you. However, if those are the very reasons you absolutely love it, then Black Roses will probably feel like a bit of a let down.

In other words, Black Roses in a much better film in the classical sense. However, if you’re the kind of viewer that likes their movies with a little extra cheese, Edge of Hell’s got it beat by a furlong.

Black Roses has plenty of its own goodness to match that of its predecessor, however:

More breasts minus Thor’s ass. Check Plus.
Better FX.
Better, non-musician based acting.
A more identifiable plot.
John Martin straight handling she-demons like he was John Macenroe.
An equal (albeit less awesome) amount of rocking.
A glimpse at what might have been if Tom Selleck played Marty McFly.
Some really kick-ass demons playing some serious hair metal to set the whole thing off.
And above all, a great soundtrack.

This opening sequence is really what The Shindig is all about, though.

It kinda makes you wish the whole movie was nothing but this, and wonder just what the hell happened when The Black Roses finally reveal their true selves again during the film’s climax.

Who the hell are these dudes? Where’d those other demons go, from the begininning? It’s anyone’s guess. I’ll have to ask John Cody. I imagine they just ran outta money. Or shot the ending first, and then found more money after.

Oh well. Least we get some kick-ass gifs.

From that killer opening sequence, here’s Lizzy Borden playing Me Against The World, under (ironically) the guise of the demonic Black Roses.

Oh, man. This is heavy, Doc.

Wild Life

TRACK #92:

Wild Life by Thor and The Tritonz

The Edge of Hell; a movie so badass it finds its main character (legendary rocker Jon-Mikl Thor) tricking the Devil himself.

Essentially, Jon and his band of cliched rock ‘n roll cut-outs named The Trintonz, take up lodging in a old barn to cut a new record. Only problem is Beelzebub and his minions have already taken up residence, and slowly begin possessing the band.

The real problem is, all these cliched characters are just that, characters Jon pulled from horror movies to entertain the Devil’s minions. “Shadows” he tells the Devil, fresh souls to lure the Devil out of hiding.

And it worked.

See, Jon is the Intercessor, the Archangel Triton, set to do battle with the Devil whenever he crosses over into the world of the living. And boy does he ever battle.

After dodging some star fish and grappling with the beast for about 10 minutes, Jon trips the Devil, forcing the old scratch to concede. The day is won.

But we’re the real winners, when Thor and The Tritonz rock out, as they are wont to do throughout the film.

Though the soundtrack is composed entirely of Thor songs, we’ve taken 2 of the best tracks and featured them back-to-back for your enjoyment.

First up is the first cut from the film. A track which, under any normal circumstance would be the title track. However, it’s not. It’s just called Wild Life, which is weird, because if it weren’t for Thor simply shouting “Wild Life” repeatedly during the last 30 seconds, the phrase “The Edge of Hell” would appear more times the the title of the damn song.

So, what’s the deal then? Is it a Title Track?

Naw, not officially. Which is kinda lame, ‘cause we really want it to be, and it kinda almost is.

So, we’ll file it under the category anyway for fun, with the hashtag addendum that it’s not really a title track.