Blitzkid

Monster kids with an ear for 80’s horror.

Audio

Terror (In the Haunted House)

TRACK #146:

Terror (in the Haunted House) by Blitzkid

Though they share titles, I’m not entirely convinced Blitzkid was inspired by the film Terror in the Haunted House to write this upbeat spookster.

See, Terror in the Haunted House doesn’t really take place in a Haunted House. I suppose House on Haunted Hill doesn’t really either, but it at least it pretends to. Terror in the Haunted House doesn’t even do that.

What it does do however, is attempt to bug you out with a bunch of subliminal messages and images cut into the movie. They called this gimmick “Psycho-Rama!” which sounds way cooler than it actually is.

The look of these messages is pretty goofy. They’re actually kind of distracting and not at all effective. Take a look. I’ve slowed them down for optimum perception!

Not so spooky. Hell, the later ones seem pretty aftermarket. Particularly this red snake one, instructing you to “Rent Rhino Videos Everyday.”

Yeah, pretty sure prints didn’t ship with that message in 1958.

No, Terror in the Haunted House is more like a psychological thriller than a horror, and not an entirely ineffective one at that. A bit silly sure and no doubt more than just a little Castle-esque, but it is occasionally somewhat sinister and intriguing.

Mostly though, it’s just a snoozer. And with the absence of any fun ghosts or phantasmic goings-ons, 100% missable.

So, let’s just enjoy this spooky spin from Shindig All-Stars Blitzkid. It’s shorter and a lot more fun.

 

Audio

Hellraiser

TRACK #113:

Hellraiser by Blitzkid

Shindig All-Stars Blitzkid are back and whaddya know, they’re singing about an 80’s horror movie.

This time Hellraiser is their pleasure (sir) and we’ve spiced it up with a hefty dose of Pinhead’s verbose bullshit to really make it feel at home.

So come on, solve the easiest puzzle box/portal to ungodly horrors that ever existed.

Seriously, they couldn’t have made that fucker a little trickier to crack? Nothing that contains that much crazy shit should be that easy to just accidentally open by rubbing your thumb across. Jeez guys.

 

Audio

Making A Monster

TRACK #77:

Making A Monster by Blitzkid

Perennial spooksters Blitzkid are back at #77 with their ode to Mary Shelley’s classic cautionary tale of scientific hubris gone wrong.

Sympathetically written from the Monster’s perspective, the song actually has a bit more in common with the source material than the 1931 film used to lead-in the track. But a clip sample that perfect can’t be ignored, not by The Shindig at least.

Here’s Shindig All-Stars Blitzkid with a Franken-Weener of monstrous proportions!

 

Audio

Candyman

TRACK #49:

Candyman by Blitzkid

For fans of the Shindig favorite Blitzkid, it probably seems fitting to have this song come straight in at #49 following Helen’s Theme. I always thought so anyway.

Pretty straight forward Blitzkid offering here, as they detail the plot of the 1992 Tony Todd creep-fest Candyman, a film which still manages to give me the willies at times just thinking about it.

That shit-smeared bathroom reading “Sweets to the Sweet.” That graffiti style Candyman face Virginia Madsen climbs through. Her waking up in a pool of dog-blood next to a severed head having no idea what has happened while a woman screams bloody murder from the other room. Candyman flying backwards through a window. Creepy stuff. Effective.

I hear you’re looking for Candyman, bitch.

 

Audio

Motel Hell

TRACK #7:

Motel Hell by Blitzkid

At #7 comes a band with plenty of representation on the Shindig; perennial monster-rockers Blitzkid.

When every album’s track listing reads like a “Gory Horror Movies from the 80’s” category on Netflix, your band is kind of hard to ignore if making a Halloween playlist.

First cut from these guys? Motel Hell, which details the goings-ons of Farmer Vincent (the wonderful Rory Calhoun) as he minces up out-of-town lodgers at his Motel Hello (its neon sign, of course, has a blown out O.)

He stores and cultivates these lodgers in a garden out back, like some kind of nightmarish cabbage patch, then uses their bodies to make assorted meat products for the locals, whom all love Farmer Vincent’s treats.

Motel Hell is a great piece of early 80’s horror that’s funny, sometimes startling and always a blast to watch. Any movie where a dude wearing a pig’s head gets into a chainsaw fight with another dude that also has a chainsaw is some must-see shit. In fact, if you haven’t seen Motel Hell, you should,…right now.