Phantom of the Ritz

TRACK #311:

Phantom of the Ritz by The Waters

Since last year’s countdown got cut a little short, we ended up with a couple Shindig debuts on Title Tracks Pt. 5. Let’s take a moment here to get some of those guys on the official roster, shall we?

First up is this banger from The Waters.

Now, I’m not 100% sure The Waters listed in the credits of Phantom of the Ritz are actually THE Waters. Ya know, like how it’s not really Ray Stevens or Paul Williams.

But if this really is THE Waters, then they were a family band from LA that mostly worked as backup singers to the stars. Oren Waters specifically sang for the likes of Michael Jackson, John Fogerty, Paul Simon, Neil Diamond and has personally been featured on over 100 platinum albums. Wild.

He’s even responsible for the vocals on the The Jefferson’s theme song, Movin’ On Up! I guess imagining they are The Waters from Phantom of the Ritz isn’t so out of the question after all.

Additionally, Oren and his sisters Maxine and Julia, all appear in the 2013 Academy Award winning documentary 20 Feet From Stardom, which shines a light on all the great backup singers and musicians responsible for so many famous hits over the years.

Unfortunately, they were more like 20 miles from stardom when the recorded the Title Track to this turkey.

Phantom of the Ritz is not entirely unenjoyable but it is definitely missable. That is, unless you’re this guy, who’s all about Phantom of the Opera interpretations. His write-up actually made me reconsider my stance on the film. He’s into it. Maybe I end to rewatch.

However you feel about this Phantom, I think it’s clear that he doesn’t deserve a Title Track of this caliber, cause it jams, and The Waters, professionals that they are, absolutely belt it.

Here’s it is, Graham’s pick for Title Track of the year: 2022, he’s the Phantom of the Ritz!

The Toxic Avenger Theme

TRACK #288:

The Toxic Avenger Theme by Scott Casey

It had been a long time since I had sat down and watched Toxie’s back-to-back shot sequels, and I had completely forgotten about this tailor made tune sung by Scott Casey.

This one slightly jukes my (admittedly somewhat rigid) definition of a Title Track by being featured in the sequel and having the word “theme” tacked on the end, but I don’t think there’s any other word for this song.

It explicitly describes, in very detailed fashion, the events of the first film. And Scott enthusiastically chants the title over and over again, making for a textbook Title Track under any other circumstances.

So we’ll overlook the fact that it’s from Toxie’s second outing, and that it has the word theme slapped on there, and simply bask in the relentless 80’s power-synth-rock awesomeness of The Toxic Avenger Theme. Just listen to those falsettos! When Lloyd decided to give Toxie his own theme, he definitely didn’t skimp.

Raiders of the Living Dead

TRACK #287:

Raiders of the Living Dead by George Edward Ott

As I stated in an episode of Shindig Radio that you readers have yet to hear, most people seem to refer to our next song as “The Dead Are After Me.”

And once that chorus hits the first time, there’ll be no doubt in your mind why.

However, it is my assertion that this song, composed and performed by George Edward Ott, is actually a Title Track, despite its chorus.

See, the film itself only ever credits this tune as “Title Song” and George Edward does say the phrase “Raiders of the Living Dead.”

Says the title?

Claims it’s a title song?

Good enough for me, internet be damned.

Now, if George Edward Ott himself reaches out to me and says…

“No, ya moron. Listen to that chorus! Obviously the title of the song is “The Dead Are Are After Me.” What kind of idiot are you?

…then I’ll stand down. But until that day, I’m holding fast. This is a Title Track.

Either way, it’s a great little lo-fi piece of analog rock accompaniment that definitely belongs on this playlist, under any name.

As for the film, it’s a crack up. Featuring Flick from A Christmas Story as a industrious young inventor who accidentally turns his Grandfather’s laserdisc player into a death ray. Score.

There’s this Doctor on some prison island, and he’s turning dead convicts into Zombies, as ya do. That gets a little hairy and they’re running amuck. Then a reporter and a local librarian (yeah, it’s that kinda movie) get webbed up in this zombie business, but eventually they team up with Gramps and his recurve bow and Flick with his laser ray to save the day.

Top all that off with a Title Track like this, and you got yourself a kind of a winner.

I said the dea-ea-ea-ea-ed….are af-ter meeee!

Teenage Exorcist

TRACK #286:

Teenage Exorcist by Tim De Nardo

If you’re a Shindig Radio fan, you’re no doubt familiar with our next tune, which we clowned around on pretty heavily during Title Tracks Part 4 last season.

It’s Teenage Exorcist, the Title Track which says the name of the film incessantly, while never really talking about the film at all. Even the title doesn’t make any sense. There’s an exorcist, but he’s hardly a teenager, played by 66 year old Count Yorga thespian, Robert Quarry.

Additionally, I’m not sure anyone appearing in the film is even in their 20’s, much less a teenager. Brinke Steven, whom the exorcism is performed on, was 37 at the time. Pizza delivery “boy” Eddie Deezen was 34. So much for that, I suppose.

Though, to clarify our “uninformed” query from that episode, this box art here to your right seems to suggest that, yes, someone (at least someone in marketing anyway) did in fact consider Deezen to be the “teenage” exorcist. Ok then.

Whomever this song is about, it’s a fun tune which, as Mikey and Graham so easily illustrated, can perfectly accommodate any 5 syllable movie title.

So try it out with your favorite 5 syllable movie title while we rock a little closer to Halloween 2021!

Sleep-A-Way Camp 2….Un-Happ-y Camp-ers!

Once Bitten

TRACK #285:

Once Bitten by 3 Speed

Since we’re talking about 80’s Monster comedies, and that subject is near and dear to my heart, let’s keep that theme running with our next track.

Way back in 2013, when the Halloween Shindig blog was in it’s infancy, we dropped Maria Vidal’s Hands Off from the film Once Bitten. It’s a prominent feature in the film, which plays during the very memorable 3-way dance-off between Lauren Hutton, Kim Coppins and a young Jim Carrey.

Now, why it’s taken 8 years to get that same film’s Title Track in the rotation is anyone guess, particularly since it’s been in the bullpen since before The Shindig ever made its way to the internet. For shame.

This one comes from the relatively unknown synth-pop band out of Boston called 3 Speed. They were pretty much a local act until they’re manager randomly sent a demo tape off to MGM. So impressed, the studio immediately flew the band out to do some recording for a new film.

They enjoyed some moderate success after this tune too, opening for the likes of Pat Benatar, but they were never offered a full-on record deal. Mostly, they just appeared on film soundtracks. Their song Cry can be heard in the Linda Blair’s awesome crossbow ladened revenge actioner, Savage Streets. Packed among all the tunes in bizarro 80’s sci-fi musical Voyage of the Rock Aliens is their song Back on the Streets. And Wind Me Up is featured in 1986’s BMX freakout, Rad – a movie I love that I’ll probably have to crowbar into an Action Distractions episode at some point.

But for now, let’s keep this spooky with 3 Speed and their synth pop title tracks Once Bitten.

A Critical Madness

TRACK #258:

A Critical Madness by Kay Reed with The Church of Our Savior Choir

Tim Ritter is pretty awesome. If you’re a fan of 80’s shot-on-video, backyard horror, than you’re definitely familiar with old Tim.

The auteur behind such insane fare as Twisted Illusions, Creep and Day of the Reaper, Tim was a to-the-bone horror fan armed with a camera who just said “Hey! I can do that.”

And did it he did, creating some of the most entertaining and charming additions to this bizarre, homespun sub-genre. If you like that sort of thing.

And I do, so I’m gonna give you all a double shot of Tim Ritter tunes. First up, the by-line Title Track to his 1986 bonkers opus Truth or Dare: A Critical Madness.

Like most of Tim’s output, it’s a film that really must be seen to be believed and even then I’m sure it’ll be a little tricky to fully wrap your mind around.

After happening upon his wife fuckin his best friend, Mike Strauber begins spiraling into a critical madness, first by playing increasingly masochistic games of truth or dare with people that aren’t really there, sending him straight to the nuthouse.

Eventually, he disfigures his own face and then fashions himself a weird-ass cooper mask. Then the dickhead orderlies give him a picture of his wife, ya know, to warm up his cold, padded cell. Yeah, that’ll probably lead to increased mental stability.

Predictably (and thankfully for us) it does no such thing, propelling Mike to escape and embark on a Silent Night, Deadly Night 2-style daytime killing spree complete with nunchucks, a full-on mace and maybe even a grenade, I dunno.

Shot when Tim was only 18, it belies his age and at times appears to be the work of more mature folks. Not all the time of course, but it’s still pretty impressive for someone who couldn’t even legally get drunk.

Which leads us to this song, this gloriously bizarre and out of place song. Some kinda Dion Warwick sounding left field commission, A Critical Madness appears to be sung from perspective of Mike’s wife, by crooning woman Kay Reed, complete with an accompanying children’s choir.

I dunno why Tim thought a movie like his should end with a song like this, but thank God he did.

Halloween Shindig gives you, A Critical Madness.

Dr. Hackenstein

TRACK #257:

Dr. Hackenstein by Claude LeHanaff and Hard Roaders

Sometime after Stuart Gordon made Re-Animator but before Henenlotter made Frankenhooker, writer/director Richard Clark released his lone feature, Dr. Hackenstein, which combines elements of both in a more traditional Frankenstein setting.

It’s a quaint little horror comedy that, while not especially noteworthy, is perfectly watchable and even somewhat charming. I’d have a hard time imagining anyone who likes either of the aforementioned films not finding at least something about this one they enjoy. Particularly considering the FX, which were provided by none other than Kurtzman, Nicotero and Berger EFX Group. Ya know, B.C. KNB EFX

It stars David Murr from Neon Maniacs as the titular physician, a guy who you’d almost mistake for Roddy McDowell. Playing along side him, as the main damsel in bodily distress, is the lovely Stacey Travis, whom some of you may recognize from Phantasm 2, Hardware or even Earth Girls Are Easy.

Additionally, you get some fun guest appearances from both Ramseys Anne and Logan, Phyllis Diller, and that cheapskate Hotel Manager from Ghostbusters! Not a bad showing.

What’s more? You guessed it. With only one feature to his credit, Richard Clark had the wherewithal to include an honest to God Title Track.

That egghead Stanley Kubrick never had a Title Track. Some auteur he was. No wonder he never got an Oscar. And don’t give me any of that “Well, Dr. Strangelove’s We’ll Meet Again was technically a Title Track from the musical We’ll Meet Again” baloney, cause I ain’t having it! If we all just start throwing other people’s Title Tracks into our movies with different titles and no Title Tracks and and then calling them Title Tracks, what does that make us? No better than the terrorists, that’s what.

100% anachronistic and totally 80’s, this goofy as all get-out Title Track gets the extra special treatment of being a Sweet Song too boot. Double bonus!

So, sit back and relax, the doctor will see you now.

He calls himself an Obstetrician! He’s Dr. Hackenstein.

Cat’s Eye

TRACK #256:

Cat’s Eye by Ray Stevens

Call me an idealists. Call me old fashion. Hell, call me an 80’s fetishist, but I wish every movie ended like 1986’s portmanteau horror, Cat’s Eye.

The 3-pronged anthology from Stephen King and Lewis Teague isn’t even particularly fantastic. It’s all right, I enjoy it, but I wouldn’t put it at the top of any anthology list.

The James Woods story about an invasive smoking cessation program has some fun moments, despite being a little under cooked.

The second story has an intriguing premise, is well acted and provides a fair amount of tension, given a predisposition to acrophobia.

And the final story, the one which everyone remembers, with a cat named General protecting a young Drew Barrymore from a horrible, little, breath-stealing troll. That troll, designed by FX maestro Carlo Rambaldi, is fantastic. And all that set dec making the him look tiny is 80’s practical FX gold.

But that’s not what I mean. No, what I want is for every movie to end with this same kind of weirdly referential, ridiculously popped-out, Title Track bullshit. Say that Title over and over! Gimme that hot synth bass! Talk about the movie in indirect ways! Make it feel like an event. Make me feel like I just watched a movie. Leave a mark.

And boy howdy does Ray Steven’s Cat’s Eye do just that. He Billy Oceans the fuck outta this thing and produces a shinning example of a Title Track. It’s doing everything right.

I wish every movie had it’s own Cat’s Eye.

Green Slime

TRACK #255:

Green Slime by Sherry Gaden, Richard Delvecchio & Rick Lancelot

Now, we’re gonna kick things all the way back to ‘68 with a brand new contender for Oldest Title Track on the Shindig. And what a doozy of a contender it is.

You’d be forgiven for thinking the Title Track to The Green Slime must be a joke. It sounds almost like an anachronism. It sounds like it doesn’t belong in this movie. It sounds awesome.

Produced by Surf Rock pioneer Richard Delvecchio and sung by Frank Zappa vocalist Rick Lancelot, Green Slime is a rollicking garage-rock romper that feels a little ahead of its time, and a bit out of place.

This Japanese produced space-standoff proceeds like Sid and Marty Croft directed a Toho remake of This Island Earth. It’s a movie with a weird vibe.

What’s weirder? The fact that this song kicks off the whole damn thing. It honestly gets you pumped. Almost too pumped. This song is probably the coolest thing about the movie. Not that there’s anything specifically terrible about the movie, it’s just that cool of a song.

I mean, I won’t lie, you really gotta be into 60’s sci-fi monster movies. And being frank here, that’s not gonna be everyone’s bag, particularly these days. The miniatures look like the model train sets your Dad built in the basement, the acting in stagey and the aliens looks like 33rd degree Sigmund the Sea Monsters. But all of that is the charm. If you’re in the right mood, anyway.

Also, the pacing is pretty crisp for its day, though nothing close to what audiences have become accustomed to over the intervening 40 odd years.

So, you know yourself. Would you like that? Eh, then maybe give The Green Slime a go. If not, at least kick back and enjoy this trailblazing tune. One of the great Title Tracks of all time.

Hidden

TRACK #254:

Hidden by The Truth

After 3 Monster Raps, 2 of which I can fully understand struggling with, we have to break out the plastic pumpkin and make with some treats, right?

And around here, nothing spells “treat” like Title Tracks.

So here comes a rockin’ block of plot-talk with some of the finest Title Tracks xx yet featured on the playlist. And it you listened to last months Fistful of Title Tracks episode of Shindig Radio, you got an idea of what’s comin’

First up? Hidden.

Ever seen The Hidden? It’s kinda like The Thing meets Dead Heat, just with less Piscapo and no snow. There’s also little bit of Men In Black goin’ on too.

Plus, if you’re a Twin Peaks fan, it can serve as a quick Dale Cooper fix, with Kyle Maclachlan playing another FBI agent amidst high strangeness. Additionally, Hank Jennings shows up, just for good measure.

But that’s not all, as you get Clu Gulager, Jermone from Summer School, a young Danny Trejo, Lin Shaye and even Kincaid’s dog Jason, who took a piss on Freddy’s grave in The Dream Master. Weird.

What’s also weird, is that just like Men in Black, it also has a Title Track. It actually has a pretty kickin soundtrack altogether, as the body jumping alien imposter seems to have an affinity for loud, ruckus music.

Before we get into any of that though, we’re gonna highlight the soundtrack’s crowning achievement, from The Truth.

It’s Hidden.