Bobby Orlando – Halloween Shindig

TRACK #435:

Teenage Werewolf (I Was A) by The Flirts

I’m sure I’ve said this before, and I’ll probably say it again, but it’s wild to me that after 14 years and 430 songs, we can still dig up straight monster heat like tonight’s track.

I’ve got a ton of songs in the bullpen of a monstrous, or inclusive or holiday variety that simply haven’t made their way to the rubber yet. I know about ’em, but they just haven’t gotten their day. But sometimes I’m totally sideswiped by a song that somehow seems to have evaded all my years of scouring and digging.

But maybe y’all been bumping this one secretly. Maybe you’ve all been hoarding it and just not tellin’ ya boy. Well, one guy who is definitely tellin’ ya boy is Shindig Radio personality Graham C. Schofield, who hipped me to this hidden banger over the summer, and it became an instant add.

Seriously, where has this song been hiding? And how come we’re not talking about it til song 435? It’s criminal really. And if you’ve got a Halloween playlist that doesn’t feature this tune, I can now say with full indignant judgment, you’re fuckin’ up.

But like we tend to say around here, all these hidden treasures will soon be brought to the light, and today, that gem comes from The Flirts.

Now it seems these Flirts were the musical brainchild of Mr. Bobby Orlando aka Bobby O. He basically wrote, produced and performed all the music and employed a rotating stable of models to act as the faces (and sometimes voices) of the group.

Now, we’ve talked about Bobby before, as he was a pioneering force behind what became known as High-NRG, which was sort of the Stateside answer to Italo-Disco. Additionally, Bobby is a Shindigger himself at #66 with Whisper to a Scream from Freddy’s Revenge.

Given these two facts, perhaps it should come as no surprise that The Flirts pumped out a synth heavy monster dancer entitled Teenage Werewolf (I Was A).

And make no mistake, this is a straight up monster mash banger. Bride of Frankenstein, Dracula, Igor and even a “Mummy” are all getting shouted out here, in their way, anyway.

And the song itself is a curious blend of 50’s sensiblities, teenage werewolves, with 80’s socio-economic concerns, teen pregnancy.

See, this Teenage Werewolf is the Bride of Frankenstein. But she cheated on Frankenstein with Dracula. Once Ole Frank catches wind though, he gives her the boot, cause I guess Frankenstein was living with a teenager. Weird, but OK. These are not only fictional characters, but also creatures of the night and maybe we shouldn’t be expecting that they don’t engage in problematic behavior beyond, ya know, all the murder. But the point still stands. It’s a little weird.

Well, it gets weirder, because that teenage werewolf becomes pregnant with Dracula’s love child. OK, Frankenstein living with a teenager is one thing. Cheating on Frank with Dracula is another, maybe it was just an emotional affair, ya know just holding hands. But Dracula impregnating her definitely removes any plausible deniability that this was simply a platonic relationship. Then, given that Dracula is at the very least 120 years old at this point (and potentially almost 500 by most accounts) puts this well beyond statutory rape. Even if she’s 18 or 19, I’m pretty sure the absolutely egregious age gap there should not allow a year or 2 to get chalk up to “well technically she’s an adult.”

But again, this is fuckin’ Dracula we’re talking about. What are we expecting here? Him to have some kind of moral compass? The guy literally feeds off the blood of humans to sustain his unnatural existence. He’s the goddamn definition of non-consensual. This ain’t right Drac buddy, but I guess I’m saying maybe we should expect that at this point, and not hold him to some sort of natural decency.

Anyway, she gets kicked out again for being pregnant and has to go back to live with Daddy and Mummy, which is weird cause I thought she was already living there. Did she move back in with Frankenstein? Did she move in with Dracula? I sure don’t know.

What I do know is there’s a dude saying “hip hop” almost as much as Bobby O is firing off that 808 cowbell, and it’s goddamn glorious.

Here to get your feet moving, it’s a pure slice of 80’s Monster Dance Pop withThe Flirts and the curiously parenthetical Teenage Were (I Was A).

TRACK #66:

Whisper To A Scream by Bobby Orlando & Claudja Barry

Lets get a Freddy two-fer going, cause your guests are still pissed…

“How the fuck am I supposed to dance to some bullshit like ‘Down In The Boiler Room’…? Are you serious right now?!”

And fair enough. I’m not sure that song’s palatable, much less danceable. So let’s look to Freddy’s soundtrack offerings for a little relief. And what better place to go for a dose of danceable 80’s synth-pop than Freddy’s Revenge.

Certainly the black sheep of the series (and with good cause), A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2 is probably the worst way you could have followed the highly original and groundbreaking hit.

Every franchise has its Oddball Entry. Ya know, that one that doesn’t quite jive for whatever reason; be it overtly non-canon (Halloween 3), lacking its main character (Friday 5) or plays fast and loose with the primary mythos, as is the case with Freddy’s Revenge.

While not so out of place at the time, just a little curve ball for the sequel, the fact that subsequent Elm Streets have totally ignored this entry, its characters and its logic, makes it the strange, stand-out entry it seems today.

Basically, Freddy attempts to possess Jesse, the new teenager living in Nancy’s old room at 1428 Elm., choosing to work through the boy in the material world, as opposed to terrorizing all the children in their sleep. Granted, he does possess Jesse through his dreams, but all the kills are carried out by Jesse in the waking world, as he slowly transforms into a flesh and blood Freddy Krueger.

Needless to say, that pissed off a lot of fans at the time, and still continues to do so today. Coupled with its generalized shortcomings (acting, writing, direction, etc), its bizarre homo-eroticism and its overall weirdness, Freddy’s Revenge is not a fan favorite, and is offend cited as the series’ low-point: a rushed and lazy attempt to cash-in on the success of the original, with Dream Warriors being a much more creative and fitting sequel. True enough, I can concede.

However, I have a soft spot for Elm Street 2, cause well…

I’m a sucker for bad movies, and this one delivers.
Clu Gulager is awesome. I don’t care what movie he’s in, he’s always on point.
Grady is the man (as played by Ron Rusler of The Daggers….fuck yeah Thrashin’)
Freddy is still scary, and he retains his creep-factor before plunging into total buffoonery as per 3, 4 et al.
Jesse is such a little wiener, it’s hard not to love him. Horror’s first male Scream Queen.
You could write a thesis paper on its homosexual subtext. In fact, I kinda found one looking for gifs. Make that 2.
And I appreciate the attempt to do something different. Though its failure does lead to subsequent films treading back (and back again) into more familiar waters, it’s still nice to see people trying something different.

That being said (and long-windedly at that) let’s get to Bobby Orlando’s funky beats, as heard during the pool party sequence of Freddy’s Revenge.