TRACK #314:

Michael Myers by The Meteors

Given their catalog, it’s actually shameful that it’s taken 10 years to finally get The Meteors on The Shindig.

These guys have been dishing out Horror and Sci-Fi tinged Psychobilly since…well…the beginning, as many credit them for being the very first Psychobilly band.

Whether or not they’re the one true originators of the genre, they are no doubt pioneers that shaped it’s sound and themes, that much is for sure.

I’ve had a couple Meteors’ tunes in the bullpen for a while now, but for some reason they’ve just never made the cut, and that’s the shameful part. They should have been given higher priority.

Well tonight they are, because they have just the song to prime us all for Michael’s big return tomorrow.

Yes, apparently it seems the Thorn Constellation is in alignment…again…and Michael Myers is back. To what? Face off against Laurie Strode. Again? To die maybe? Again? Finally maybe? Doubtful. When are we gonna be done torturing this poor dude, and ourselves to whatever I’ll-advised, money-hungry whim new producers have?

It doesn’t matter if you effectively incinerate him in a giant explosion, cause you can just give Loomis a little scar and have Michael wear some bandages. Let’s go!

Hell, it doesn’t matter if you cut off his head, cause you can always pull a Cincinnati Switch with some other poor bastard’s head in a Michael Myers mask. And off we go.

It doesn’t even matter if Paul Rudd mercilessly bludgeons him to an unrecognizable pile, cause you can always retcon your sequels to completely ignore that little detail, or any detail you’d like for that matter.

It’s the character that we can’t seem to kill, or perhaps more appropriately, audiences’ desire to make it worth the producer’s while to cook up some new fresh bullshit for poor Michael to sleepwalk through.

Now, say what you want about The Curse of Michael Myers (and people do…myself included) cause Lord knows the last thing…and I mean the absolute last thing…I want here is an explanation for this Michael Myers business. Michael greatest assets was always  his mystery.

But hey, if you’re bent on giving people an explanation for this shit, because you’re 6 movies deep now and what the actual fuck is going on with this guy we’ve beaten, bucked and blown apart, then you can do worst than a weird cult of star-fearing Druids using Michael as a vessel for sacrifice.

So, let’s let The Meteors welcome Michael back…for the 11th time now I think, with their 1984 jam, Michael Myers.

God, I do hope that evil at least embarks on an incredible long hiatus tonight.