Help Is On The Way

TRACK #437:

Help Is On The Way by Horizon

Speaking of Halloween, we’re gonna wrap up the 430s with a short block of songs that were supposed to be additions from Shindig Radio Ep. 26 It’s In The Movie: Halloween Edition.

But since that episode hasn’t happened yet as planned, those songs will get a chance to debut on the playlist, as God intended. When that episode manifests is anyone’s guess, so let’s just do the honorable thing.

Ironically, it was last night’s song that was to be featured on that episode, which I can’t say for this song, because we already featured it back in Ep. 21, the What the Fuck? Edition of It’s in the Movie. Because if there was ever a “what the fuck is this song doing on a Halloween playlist, let alone a Halloween movie” it’s Help is On the Way from 1982’s Trick or Treats.

Now, I’ve expressed my love/hate/but ultimately love relationship with that Halloween (but not exactly) knock-off in the past, so I won’t necessarily reiterate those sentiments here. I’ll just say it’s got plenty of holiday atmosphere, is definitely worth a seasonal viewing and you can do that right here on TeleWeen.

As for its tonally incongruous closing number, it’s also worthy of inclusion, at least as far I’m concerned anyway.

This one comes courtesy of the band, well not exactly a real band with singles and albums and such, but the band Horizon. I’m not even sure how much of a “band” it is in the classical sense. They seem to be the pseudonym used by composer and editor Tom Barger when doing soundtrack work, specifically for Gary Graver, the director of Trick or Treats.

Gary Graver was mostly a cinematographer, famously working for years with Orson Welles on The Other Side of the Wind. He also shot Satan’s Sadists, Invasion of the Bee Girls, The Toolbox Murders and Spirits, to name a few. But he didn’t direct too many of his own pictures, that is unless you count pornography, of which he directed a few several dozen under the Name Robert McCallum.

And that’s where we can also find other Horizon songs. Gary’s 1983 film Private Moments features several tunes from the group and they are credited with providing the score for Gary’s Private Teacher. And they’re (or perhaps just he is) no slouch either, because Horizon can boast the Adult Film Association of America’s top honor, which they won in 1984 for their score to Gary Graver’s Susie Superstar. Solid.

Now, does that mean you should end your Halloween-themed slasher with this breezy, carefree, easy-listener? Absolutely not.

But does that mean we should add it to the Shindig? Abso-fuckin-lutely.

I make the joke in Ep. 21 that maybe playing the least scary and least exciting song is the most logical way to end one of the least scary and least exciting Halloween films of all time. So, maybe Horizon’s Help Is On The Way is the most appropriate Halloween Sweet Song possible.

It’s definitely a most appropriate addition to Halloween Shindig, cause what would this playlist be without a couple of real signifying head scratchers to keep the uninitiated guessing?

So, here to change up the pace, maybe run off the majority of your party goers, and make your Halloween as surreptitiously festive as possible, it’s Horizon’s Help Is On The Way.

Episode 21: It’s In The Movie: What the Fuck? Edition

It’s October and if you’re listening to the Halloween Shindig playlist and you hear a song that sounds like it doesn’t belong, that’s probably because…

IT’S IN THE MOVIE!

Special guest and YouTube creator Josh Spiegel – writer, director and star of the new film The Last Amityville Movie – joins Graham C. Schofield and Mikey Rotella as they wade through some out-of-place inclusive tracks from the likes of Trick or Treats (1982), Night Train to Terror (1985), Berserker (1987), Paganini Horror (1989) and more!

It might not sound like it belongs on a Halloween playlist, but it does, cause it’s not only in the movie, but it’s definitely in the movie on…

IT’S IN THE MOVIE: WHAT THE FUCK? EDITION

Oct. 20th: Trick Or Treats (1982)

The Internet plot description for our next installment reads as such:

“A baby sitter is stuck watching over a young brat on Halloween night who keeps playing vicious pranks on her. To add to her trouble the boy’s deranged father has escaped from an asylum and is planning on making a visit.”

If that just sounds to you like a shitty Halloween knock-off to you, you’re right, cause it does sound like that. However, the way it plays out is anything but.

Hell, I’m not even sure it’s trying to be Halloween. I’m not sure what it’s trying to do. It’s just bizarre. Is this a spoof? Is this a real horror movie? Is this a comedy? Who the hell knows. It’s probably none of those things.

I do know this though, it’s pretty damn Halloweeny. And for our purposes, that’s all that matters. You’re getting tons of vintage decorations, an onslaught of trick or treating and awesome Halloween masks coming at you left and right.

Now, this isn’t to say Trick or Treats isn’t without its charms, far from it. If you’re the right kind of viewer in the right kind of mood, it may even entertain you, but I would be careful to who exactly I’d recommend this one.

You get David Carradine being a handsy sleazeball, Peter Jason in drag screaming at bums, Steve Railsback continually whining about the opening night of play we never see performed, drunk trick or treaters, pervy little kids, an awesome bus driver for 2 seconds and an asylum full of over the top nut jobs.

But then there’s Christopher. Poor, detestable Christopher. He’s playing terrifying pranks on babysitter Linda all night long. He’s got the ill mask collection and enough magic tricks to convince Linda he’s straight up dead or horribly injured all Halloween long. Between dodging Trick or Treaters, fielding weird phone calls from loony bin Dad, and dealing with Chris’ ( at times, admittedly irritating) bullshit, she’s at her wits end with this brat. You may be too. Or you may just love him.

It’s not exciting. In fact, it’s mostly boring. It’s never approaches anything close to scary and it resembles a horror movie for, oh I don’t know, about a 10 minute stretch at the climax. But Trick or Treats is an oddball Halloween treat that I strangely enjoy. Could be the era, could be the Halloween, or it could be its general approach. It has this sluggish and lackadaisical mood that just washes over me. I don’t rightly know which factor is in the driver’s seat.

If you’re looking for something akin to even a passable scary Halloween vibe you get with even the lower rent slashers and creature features to feature the holiday, you’ll need to look elsewhere.

When Halloween Night Stopped Being fun?

Boy, I’ll say. But I think I kind of love it for that.