Return of the 31 Days of Halloween Horror

31 more handpicked Halloween Horror movies to liven up your October.

This time around we put a special focus on the Halloween Sequel. It’s The Return of the 31 Days of Halloween Horror 2: Revenge of the Halloween Sequel!

Fair Warning: This collection contains and even borderline unwatchable tripe than last! Beware, and use the Trick or Treat guide wisely!

Oct. 31st: Halloween II (1981)

Outside of the hugely underrated and insanely Halloweeny Season of the Witch, Halloween II is really the only other Halloween installment I can recommend in good conscience. Plus, it’s the sequel, so we gotta give props this season.

I don’t love Halloween II and I rather blame its existence on why the franchise wasn’t able to continue and expand the way John Carpenter intended. If Halloween III was Halloween II instead, we could have possibly had a different Halloween-themed story with every outing for who knows how many years.

Had they simply ended Michael’s tale with part 1, it would have been more haunting, more powerful and had prepped fans straight away that this was not going to be “Michael’s Series.” Who was that masked man murdering teens on Halloween? I dunno, guess he’s just wandering around now. Moving on with some other tales.

As it stands, Halloween II continued “the night he came home” and forever sealed the fate of this franchise as “The Michael Myers Story,” with each new installment removing more of what made Michael great in the first damn place…ambiguity.

It’s also the film that introduced the whole extended Myers family angle to the story, an aspect in which I couldn’t be less interested. I like the fact the Laurie and her friends were chosen by almost complete chance and that their murders are the random outbursts of some mysterious, masked maniac.

All that being said, Halloween II is still Michael’s best sequel. It still features the original mask (a huge plus when considering the awful, awful resculpts), maintains the general feel of the original and literally picks up right where the first one left off, thus taking place on the same night. You could have ended Michaels story here successfully, no doubt, but fans just wanted more and they were eventually given just that.

It’s pretty Halloweeny and the hospital setting is an interesting location and leads to some unnerving sequences and kills. It also gives an expanded glimpse into Haddonfield as it reels from the previous film’s mayhem. Everyone in town is starting to hear about the horrible things that have happened just a block or two over. It’s neat to see the night just continue.

Poor Ben Tramer gets straight plowed by a police cruiser and goes out in a blaze of Halloween glory, though. Poor Michael gets both of his eyes shot out, which somehow never really seems to pose him too much difficultly on any of his further adventures. And poor Laurie has to find out she’s that guy’s fucking sister. Samhain bummers all around.

This year was a celebration not just of other Halloween themed movies, but also of the Halloween Sequel. While Halloween II may be cheating just slightly, is a mere shadow of its forebear’s glory, and sets this entire franchise on many of the awful roads it continued down, it’s still the greatest Halloween Sequel there is.

Double it up with the original for one extended “night he came home” this year.

I give 2 bloody eyes and a burning Ben Tramer up!

Designation: Treat!

Happy Halloween, weeners. Thanks for joining us through Return of the 31 Days of Halloween Horror 2: Revenge of the Halloween Sequels: Trick or Treat?

Oct. 30th: The Night that Panicked America (1975)

Exactly 78 years ago on this night, October 30th 1938, Orson Welles produced a radio dramatization of H.G. Wells’ War of the Worlds.

Legend has it that the broadcast threw listeners into a frenzy, not realizing the production was a work of fiction and thought actual Martians were invading the Earth.

To what extent that is true is apparently up for some debate, with critics citing the allegations of panic as merely hokum the newspapers concocted to slander their newfound competition…radio.

Exactly 41 years ago tomorrow, Halloween 1975, ABC aired this recreation of that broadcast and the events supposedly surrounding it (with a fair amount of artistic license, no doubt) The Night That Panicked America.

For years following its initial broadcast, local stations made a habit of airing the film on the anniversary of the original Welles radio broadcast, October 30th.

And in the grand tradition of radio and local television, the Shindig Presents Joseph Sargent’s The Night That Panicked America, available to you here embedded from YouTube.

Happy Cabbage Night, Weeners. Go panic America!

Oct. 29th: Lady In White (1988)

I wouldn’t necessarily call Lady in White strictly a Halloween movie, but its first 40 minutes are so awesomely and insanely Halloweeny that they totally trump the dated ghost effects, cheeseball climax and even the touch of Christmas that all appear later in the film.

And Halloween is a solid 3rd of this movie, which is nothing to sneeze at, particularly considering the movies that’ll get nods for featuring Halloween.

Plus, there aren’t many movies that ramp up the Halloween and then just nail that atmosphere as much as this one does in those first 40 minutes. They’re dense. That classroom sequence alone feels like it was shot from inside a hazy Jack-o-Lantern into another hazier Jack-O-Lantern. It’s so perfectly and wonderfully Halloweeny.

Add to that, it’s a weird little spooky ghost story that predominantly features a child-murderer. How’s that grab ya? Keep in mind too, that I think this is suppose to be a kid’s movie. Which makes sense to me. What would appeal more to the concerns of children than other children being murdered?

I would describe it as the nexus point between Dark Night of the Scarecrow, The Halloween Tree and To Kill A Mockingbird. All solid Halloween fare.

Lady In White can definitely hold its head high among the titans of The Class of 1988, even graduating with an average well above the curve.

One cement covered Jack-O-Lantern and a bowl full of candy corn up!

Designation: Treat!

 

Oct. 28th: Flesh Eater (1988)

Once you’ve experienced enough completely atrocious or utterly unwatchable garbage, regular bad movies just don’t seem so bad anymore. Sometimes they even seem pretty fun and likeable, and some things that any normal person would completely dismiss become weird, small joys.

It was suggested to me that this is exactly happened when I watched Flesh Eater. Now, I’m almost inclined to agree somewhat, but I still think this one has a lot of legitimate good to offer.

It would appear that Bill Hinzman was pretty bored and not cashing-in enough on his former appearance as the cemetery zombie from Romero’s original Night of the Living Dead. So he set about writing, directing, producing and starring in this spin-off movie about just that zombie.

Sound pretty great? Well, it’s actually a whole lot of fun.

First and foremost, it’s got some great gore gags from Pittsburgh FXician and all around awesome dude Jerry Gergely. Bonus.

Plus, It’s got that low-budget, mid-80’s townie vibe that I just love in a horror movie.

Also, it’s got absolutely relentless, weapon wielding maniac-zombies that literally kill everyone they come across. This movie spares no one.

Additionally, it’s got all the weirdo dialogue, goofball acting, and almost unanimous under-reactions to all of its zombie chaos that make for an entertaining watch.

And last but by no means least, it’s got Halloween. There’s trick or treating, candy apple making, costumes, decorations and the requisite Halloween dance party.

While not quite the official sequel it imagines itself to be, Flesh Eater rather seems like some sot of bizarro Night of the Living Dead from another dimension where that movie was never made in ’68. This might actually be what Night of the Living Dead would look like if it had been churned out in the mid-80’s by someone a lot less capable than George A. Romero and featured Halloween.

I can’t say you’ll enjoy Flesh Eater as much as I do, or at all really, but I’d gladly take this over any unnecessary remake, found footage nonsense, or whatever spooky ghostboy bullshit is clogging up cinemas, redbox and video-on-demand any old Oct. 28th of the year.

1 dead little angel and a drunk Dracula up!

Designation: Treat!

Oct. 27th: Slugs (1988)

Slugs is gross. Slugs is gory. Slugs is ridiculous. Slugs  is great.

But most importantly, Slugs, for no particular reason (other than that it’s more awesome if it does), takes place during Halloween.

Sure, it might appear to be an almost absolute afterthought, completely tacked on through some Godfrey Ho-style over dubbing and a sad looking Jack-O-lantern placed at an otherwise suspiciously unfestive party through reshoots…but it’s there goddammit and that’s all that matters.

Besides, Slugs doesn’t really need Halloween anyway. Between its grotesque death scenes, its gross slug photography, its bizarro performances and its intense, out of place score, Slugs is doing just fine without Halloween.

The unnecessary, and frankly half-assed inclusion of the holiday is merely one of many small touches that makes Slugs so great.

Now I may not have the authority to declare happy birthday…but I can confidently declare Happy Halloween and so can Slugs.

So, c’mon Weeners, get naked and get crazy!

2 Slugs Up!

Designation: Treat!

The Class of 1988

No year has produced as many movies set around Halloween as 1988.

1976, 1982, and 1985 all come closet, each offering 4 films.

The Hallowed Year of 1988 easily doubles their contributions producing 8 movies in total. I’m not sure what kind of cultural zeitgeist was taking place in the world of film in 1988, but it occurred never-the-less, and we were all thankful.

Perhaps it was the return of Michael Myers, who hadn’t seen the silver screen in 7 years, that inspired this resurgence. Maybe there’s something devilishly unholy about the year 1988. Who knows, but a bunch of filmmakers got on board.

Were these guys aware of what each other were doing? Were the screenwriters buddies? What’s the deal here?

The original 31 Days of Halloween Horror list contained 4 members. This year’s countdown features another 3.

The following is a list of all the known graduates of The Class of 1988 and their release dates.

and lastly…

The next 3 selections on our countdown here are all proud members of The Hallowed Class of 1988. Respect

Oct. 26th: House II (1987)

“It’s getting weirder!”

Boy, I’ll say. That might even be selling this fucker a little short, to be honest.

Seriously though, 0%, Rotten Tomatoes? That seems a little harsh guys, no? Yeah, yeah, you’re just a non-entity aggregator. It’s not your personal opinion, I understand how you work, thanks. But to the small critical community comprising that 0% though, c’mon gang. Ease up a little, huh?

While certainly not the finest piece of cinema to escape 1987, it may just be the best horror-comedy-inter-dimensional-prehistoric-Aztec-fantasy-western ever produced, and there’s some fun to be had from this in-name-only mess.

You have 80’s goofball Arye Gross paling around with the weird man-servant from Fright Night and banging Tina from Friday 7. Bonus. Then they dig up Royal Dano from Killer Klowns (in a killer Chris Walas makeup) and later Cliff from Cheers shows up. And then you got Bill Maher just hanging around for no reason whatsoever being an 80’s prick. Bill Maher? Yep.

You get a crystal skull, stop-motion dinosaurs, awesome pterodactyl and dog-caterpillar puppets and the girl from Society as an Aztec virgin sacrifice. What more do you want? Halloween? Well you’re in luck pal, because House II somehow found the time to cram that in there too.

The whole beginning feels very Halloween-spooky, with the arrival at the mansion and the grave-digging, both of which lead to a fun (and obligatory) Halloween party. The festive vibe sort of tapers off after that, and so does any semblance of a coherent tone, as House II officially flies off the rails and starts resembling something like a bastard child of Brisco County Jr. and My Science Project.

Yeah, this is a goofy, schizophrenic madball of a movie that throws so much bizarre shit at you it’s hard to make heads or tails of it at a point, but it’s still kind of fun. And the Chris Walas creature work is great as always.

I give this 1 dancing Frankenstein up.

Designation: Treat

Oct. 25th: Tales of Halloween (2015)

On the whole, I’d say the last…oh, 20 years or so of horror have left me feeling pretty cold.

But, I had to give this a go, right?

While I certainly didn’t love The ABC’s of Halloween…I mean Tales of Halloween, it has a few things going for it to where I can toss it a treat.

1.) It presents its tales story by story, eschewing the modern convention of interweaving its parts into a big soupy jumble that doesn’t let you just be done with a dumb segment and move on.

2.) With its 10 different stories clocking it at just over and hour and a half, you get a median length of 9 minutes per tale. That’s a good window. It means the lamer segments (and there’s enough) don’t hang around too long. That’s nice.

And

3.) It’s Halloweeny as all get out. It’s an All Hallows’ overload with moments large and small colored in all manner of decorations, lights and ambiance. It’s a good visual treat for any October evening.

That being said, I doubt I’ll ever sit down and watch Tales of Halloween again. The few bits I did enjoy didn’t bring me so much enjoyment I’ll revisit this as a whole.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t watch it or you won’t enjoy it. I’m kind of a prick I imagine and I’m probably hard to please. An anthology to me should be more enjoyment than not, and this one starts out sort of promising, dips hard and then somewhat rights itself again by the end. It never reaches a point where I’m fully on board, though.

The only segment I found myself really enjoying was “The Bad Seed” and honestly, that felt a little rushed. I think more time spent here instead of other places in the movie could have done this tale a fair bit of good. It was still the best of the bunch for me.

“The Night Billy Raised Hell” has a fun Tales from The Darkside vibe, but it’s basically a more sinister Satan’s Little Helper that is at times too goofy for its own good.  But it totally features an awesome guest spot from Barry Bostwick (Megaforce!).

“Sweet Tooth” has a neat Halloween legend to it and is serviceable.

Falling into a similar category is “The Ransom of Rusty Rex.” It’s sort of fun.

Pretty much everything else here left me either bored or wanting. I enjoyed Pollyanna McIntosh in “Ding-Dong” but I hated literally everything else about it. Likewise for Alex Essoe in the boring and predictable (but cameo studded) “Grim Grinning Ghost.”

I was enjoying “October the 31st” until it went all Evil Dead, but there’s some fun gore there to help it along.

“Trick” was too Trick ‘R Treat-lite for me, with none of that segment’s vintage spookiness, build-up or charm.

“The Weak and the Wicked” felt posturing and irritating and “This Means War” totally squandered a great premise.

Adrienne Barbeau’s Stevie Wayne-styled audio-wraparound is a nice touch. There’s also more cameos here per-capita than maybe any horror movie ever. Some are very fleeting and for only the most eagled-eyed viewers among you. Seriously, did I catch Grady from Freddy’s Revenge in there? Any movie that throws a fucking bone to a Tommy Hook has gotta get a little credit.

Ultimately, I think this makes for a good Halloween watch though, for just how much of the season it imbues. There’s few movies out there that have this much Halloween shoved up their pumpkin. I can’t say I really liked Tales of Halloween, but it’s got spirit to spare and definitely amped me up for the big day.

I’d give it a couple fistfuls of candy and a Neal Kennemore mask just for knocking.

Designation: Treat

 

Oct. 24th: Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)

C’mon, Halloween’s been around for more than 40 years, right? So why do we have 23 different Halloween movies and nothing older than 1976?

Well, that’s about to change with tonight’s selection, Frank Capra’s 1944 adaption of the popular stage play Arsenic and Old Lace.

Keeping with this year’s motif, Halloween frames our events but isn’t their focal point. In fact, it’s a little touch Capra and screenwriter Julius Epstein added to the film version, as the original play does not take place on Halloween night. It fits though, giving a spookier air to already sinister happenings of the story.

Newly married theater critic and author Mortimer Brewster has just discovered his sweet and unassuming Aunts have been mercy-poisoning old, lonely bachelors and burying them down in the basement. Oh, ok then. He doesn’t handle that so well, and his reactions are pretty great.

When Mortimer’s brother Johnathan returns home after years of estrangement, he has designs to do the same, unaware that his aunts have been engaged in exactly the same criminal activities.

What follows is mad-cappery as only the early 40’s could provide. Which means you will either find all this goofy nonsense and shouting charming or it will annoy the hell out of you. I’m somewhere in between. I enjoy a good classic, but the board comedy on display and Gary Grant’s over-the-top performance can be a bit much at times. Rumor has it all of this was to be toned down in the editing, but  Capra reported for assignment in WWII, and his changes went with him. There’s another things you can blame on Hitler.

There’s a lot to love here, though. There’s a ton of great one-liners, subtle verbal quips galore, and for the most part, Cary Grant is really quite funny.

Peter Lorre is his usual unnerving and enjoyable self as Johnathan’s personal plastic surgeon, who has given John the ghastly appearance of Boris Karloff – the original actor who portrayed Jonathan in the stage production. Warner could not get Karloff on loan, as the production was still running and the theater company feared losing its big-name draw. This becomes sort of a running gag throughout the film, as Karloff is referenced several times.

Stepping into Boris’ scars is his Old Dark House chum Raymond Massey, who does a wonderful job underplaying his villainous Johnathan amidst the buffoonery surrounding him.

One great sequence involves Mortimer’s critique of a scene he recently saw performed on stage, where a purportedly intelligent character foolishly allows himself to be bound and gagged despite knowing full well he was in danger. At the same time, this exact scenario is taking place in front of us, with the act being perpetrated against Mortimer. It’s a great piece of comic staging that works perfectly.

Then there’s the matter of the Brewster home’s exterior, which contains a great family graveyard, covered in whirling autumn leaves and spooky ambience perfectly befitting the holiday.

There are a few small references to Halloween, and a quick scene of children arriving at the house for some holiday treats, but otherwise this is a simple dark comedy of murder and coercion that carves out its own little niche on the 31st of October.

If you’re in the mood for something old that isn’t the tried-and-true Universal mainstays, but also includes a tinge of the season, Arsenic and Old Lace is a good bet. That is assuming of course the whole affair doesn’t just irate the fun right out of you.

I give it 1 jack-o-lantern up, because what? I’m sorry, did people use to just hand out jack-o-lanterns to trick-or-treaters on Halloween? Cause that’s awesome.

Designation: Treat

 

Oct. 23rd: Retribution (1987)

Like a lot of the films this year, Halloween doesn’t play a very prominent role in this weird little supernatural revenge slasher from 1987, but what’s there is pretty cool and it makes Retribution that much cooler than it would be without it.

Essentially George Miller is a depressed painter who decides to jump off the roof of his apartment building on Halloween night. Incidentally, local street gambler Vito is being gunned down at the same time on the other side of town.

For no apparent reason, Vito’s soul travels into George’s body at the moment of death and George is spared. However he then becomes a vessel for Vito’s ethereal revenge, and his psychological nightmare begins.

This is a fun, sometimes grisly and effective horror yarn that starts off with a bang on Halloween night. It’s the kind of thing slashers started becoming in Freddy’s genre-changing wake. But it’s not a bad use of post-Elm Street supernatural elements and it comes correct with the violence and intensity. It also crafts an interesting story around it’s horror that belies its 1987 release. This one feels a bit more 70’s than it is.

While it’s pretty much one-and-done with Halloween after the opening, the plot is intriguing, the death scenes are neat and Dennis Lipscomb makes for a good conflicted villain/hero. When he’s in revenge-dream mode he’s formidably intense. When he’s not, he’s convincingly feeble.

Plus there’s a suitably 80’s synth score from Alan Howarth, frequent Carpenter collaborator and composer for Halloweens 2 through 6. A solid draft.

So, if you’ve seen ’em all, toss on Retribution this week for a slight dose of Halloween horror. If you haven’t seen ’em all, we’ll get to it, you only have a week left.

I give it 1 hotdog-eating, mask-wearing, lookie-loo up.

Designation: Treat!

 

Oct. 22nd: Vacaciones De Terror 2: Cumpleaños Diabólico (1991)

Last time around, our brothers from the south offered us the entertaining Cemetario Del Terror for our Halloween enjoyment. This time, it’s our next Halloween sequel in the form of Vacaciones De Terror 2: Cumpleaños Diabólico!

Now I’ve never seen the original, but from what I can tell this movie is pretty much an in-name-only sequel, so I don’t know if that prereq will afford you much in the way of bearings.

Basically, a possessed doll mutates into a pretty cool looking goblin-demon who snatches a little girl into some sort of nether world. Our heroes need to create a pure silver seal-thingie to free her from that creature before morning, lest she be lost forever. That’s the long and short of it.

This one starts out with a fun Halloween party in the middle of a studio lot, presumably owned by the little girl’s father, a movie director. Then, we’re treated to Mexican pop sensation Tatiana singing her (very un-Halloweeny) song “Chicos, Chicos.” Try not to have this fucker stuck in your head for the next 4 hours. Maybe a weird doll will transform into a demon for no reason and start hurling flaming pumpkins around like the some sort of ghastly Green Goblin.

Oh boy, are you in luck…and it’s pretty awesome.

Where a lot of Halloweens movies feature a scene or two in observance, Vacaciones De Terror goes hard till the bitter end. Granted, it all takes place on the same studio lot that was decorated for the Halloween party, so it’s mostly the same stuff over and over again, but all that stuff is cool as shit, so we’re good with it.

This is fun and easy viewing for horror adventurists that provides plenty of holiday ambiance, ghoulish effects, nonsensical happenings and chuckle inducing oddity.

If you’re not that adventurous, I’m sure a dubbed copy exists somewhere which provides more ease of viewing and probably more chuckles. I know Netflix offers it on DVD from the same “Crypt of Terror” set which contains Cemetario Del Terror. That set also includes the awesome Dimensiones Ocultas aka Don’t Panic, which The Shindig highly recommends as well.

I watched this version, so I couldn’t say. What I can say is that this version has no subtitles whatsoever, so good luck with that. I had to go and add some using handbrake, just so I could understand what the hell was going on. I dunno, maybe your Spanish is pretty good.

Either way, you’re definitely in for some Halloween fun.

I give it 2 flaming pumpkins up.

Designation: Treat!

 

Oct. 21st: Friday Night Double Feature!

Friday Night Double Feature!

This time Halloween itself is coming under fire from all angles!

The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t (1979)

If The Witch doesn’t fly over the moon, Halloween doesn’t truly begin. I’m not familiar with this particular Hallow’s Eve custom, but apparently, according to this movie at least, it’s a thing.

So, as you might imagine, the Witch in this late 70’s chunk of TV Halloween goodness is holding the entire holiday to ransom!

She wants some recognition, a little respect, and some t-shirt revenue. Mostly she just wants Dracula to take her to the disco, though.

This shit is ridiculous, with Taxi’s Judd Hirsch playing perhaps the goofiest Dracula ever recorded. He’s assembled a veritable mash of monsters together to deal with the mutinous Witch. The Wolf Man, The Mummy, some Zombie King guy and Frankenstein’s Creature all beckon to Dracula’s call.

This is the kind of shit television simply doesn’t produce anymore, but I’m glad I remember a time when it did. A time when this sort of specialized bizarre bullshit filled the airwaves around Halloween.

It’s goofy as hell, occasionally actually funny, at times unintentionally hilarious and totally spooked-out. It’s short too. It’ll be all said and done before you even know it. YouTube has a number of clips available for your enjoyment.

Last Halloween, Rifftrax released it as a holiday special and that’s good for an extra layer of laughter on top.

The Real Ghostbusters’ “The Halloween Door” (1989)

But since that’s hardly enough Halloween to tide you over, double-down with the awesome Halloween episode of The Real Ghostbuster’s called “The Halloween Door” for a second dose of Halloween threats.

In this episode, (the interestingly named) Dr. Crowley hates Halloween and tries to enlist the Ghostbusters to help him end the holiday once and for all, figuring (of course) that they’d hate it just as much.

But they don’t. In fact, they get up on stage at a school assembly and belt out an awesome Halloween song. Keep an eye out for that one further down the playlist.

Crowley says bugger to all of that and fires up his Halloween ray, which effectively zaps all traces of the holiday clean from the planet.

Only problem is, seems we people of earth had a pact with the creatures of the night. They’d chill out the rest of the year if we gave them one night to roam free. Well now, thanks to Crowley and his stupid Frankenstein head, the deal is completely off, and all hell breaks loose.

It’s a great episode of the show with some top notch Halloween imagery and of course, that awesome Halloween song.

You can watch it here on Kiss Cartoons.

Designation: Double Treat!

 

Oct. 20th: A Halloween Puppy (2012)

Ho-ly shit.

Listen, I understand I’m not the intended audience here, but I put this on the list back in September and I’m sticking to it, goddammit. Besides, I enjoy a lot of kid’s movies that aren’t intended for me, particularly Halloween related offerings.

But seeing as how I’m not the target demographic, does that inherently prevent me from being able to enjoy it or mean that I should avoid analyzing it? Probably, but I’m doing it anyway. I believe a good kid’s movie shouldn’t be something that only children can enjoy, and if you have kids, you’re gonna have to sit there and at least sort of watch it too. So let’s try look at this thing as objectively as possible.

Let’s start with what’s going on. A dorky horror nerd loves Halloween and his lonely Mom has Eric Roberts as her aloof CPA boyfriend. Yeah, Best of the Best Eric Roberts.

This kid has a girl best-friend that’s kind of into witchcraft, I guess. These 2 accidentally turn Eric Roberts into a bulldog on Halloween. Now they have to drive to a forest retreat for the weekend with the dog and wait for Eric Roberts to show up. But where is he? Why he’s right there and all kind of mishaps  ensue, right?

Well, in theory, but actually nothing really happens. What a drag. The dog doesn’t even ruin anything. Nothing about this dog is even remotely Halloweeny. No witch hat, no spooky barking, no skeleton onesie, no candy eating, no nothing. What gives, gang?

The check-cashing Eric Roberts looks and sounds more bored with this nonsense than I am, but he might just be the best thing about this movie. In fact, he’s definitely that.

Everyone else is serviceable in their underwritten roles as placeholders for puppy interaction. No one is great, but no one is so bad it hurts. Except maybe the older witch lady that lives in the other cabin. She’s pretty awful.

How entertaining is it? Well, that depends.

If you’re a 7 year old that’s really into watching recycled footage on a bulldog eating grass, being pet and stomping around, then it’s probably awesome. I am not that, so this was a bit tiring.

But how Halloweeny is it? Honestly, barely. All of the above could be totally forgivable if the movie oozed a silly-spooky festive Halloween vibe. Taking place and being shot in Southern California isn’t doing its Halloween quotient any favors. People talk about Halloween a bunch, but it’s really nowhere to be found. There’s a lot of cheeseball Halloween transitions that are fun, but when it comes to festive atmosphere, A Halloween Puppy‘s got next to none.

I can’t really heap a bunch of criticism on this one, because for what it is, it’s fine. It’s harmless enough family fare that goes by pretty quickly that I’m sure would keep little kids entertained with its upbeat and silly soundtrack atop it’s, puppy shenanigans.

But I can not recommend you just watch A Halloween Puppy though. I can’t even recommend you have your kids watch A Halloween Puppy, not when there are such festive options at your fingertips as Ernest Scared Stupid, Hocus Pocus, Monster House, Frankenweenie, The Worst Witch, Spaced Invaders and a whole host of awesome Halloween cartoon specials.

This one’s just not bringing the entertainment, even any unintentional shrapnel joy. But more criminally, it’s not even coming through on the Halloween. I should have just watched Spooky Buddies instead. In fact, I just might do that. I have hole next week with no movie to fill.

2 pumpkin wipes down.

Designation: Trick!

 

Oct. 19th: The WNUF Halloween Special (2014)

Tailor made for presentation at a Halloween party with music, chatter and maybe nobody paying too close attention to the flickering images on your TV screen, The WNUF Halloween Special is a mock time-capsule of 80’s Halloween nostalgia that’ll have your guest asking “Where did you dig up that old fossil?”

Truth is, you didn’t. It came out 2 years ago, but you’d swear it was quite literally taped on Halloween night in 1987, so effectively is that aesthetic recreated. This is particularly true if no one is really listening to the acting taking place between its wonderfully crafted commercial interludes.

Essentially a riff on 1992’s proto-paranormal investigation horror Ghostwatch (and The Tales from the Crypt episode “Television Terror” to boot) The WNUF Halloween Special is a unique found footage flick that posits itself as a taped airing of the “real” 1987 WNUF Halloween night broadcast featuring a special news investigation of an actual haunted house…with spooky results. So spooky it never aired again. Thus making the “tape” a sort of rare, taboo relic.

It’s ludicrous, and anyone looking for a genuine horror film should probably look elsewhere. It’s increasingly frequent commercial interruptions are sure to make anyone invested in the actual story the film is crafting increasingly irritated. However, if you approach it as the comedy it’s meant to be, the meticulous attention to the period details of VHS era television and local commercials is so fun and spot-on that you’ll likely only be irritated when that actual story resumes.

The fast forwarding gag and some of the acting give the film away early as a put-on. Thankfully though, WNUF mostly plays toward the humorous side of the field and is much better for it. Plus, it’s jammed packed with so many small moments of Halloween goodness that it’s hard to resist. I mean, a pumpkin patch at High Pike (sic) Farms on Mundhra Road? C’mon gang, you’re killing me.

Just understand this isn’t a horror movie and isn’t meant to be, and you’ll be fine.

I give this one a full-on Carve-O-Lantern kit up!

Designation: Treat!

 

Oct. 18th: Night of the Demons 2 (1994)

One of my favorite Halloween movies of all time is easily Kevin Tenney’s Night of the Demons. However, as with most sequels, my love for Night of the Demons 2 is decidedly less than.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy Brian Trenchard-Smith’s follow-up. It has a some great Halloween atmosphere and a feeling somewhat similar to its predecessor, but in comparison it falls dramatically short.

Kids from a catholic boarding school want to rebel on Halloween. So they hook up with some local burnouts to go party down at notorious Hull House, where apparently Angela still resides.

Since Hull House is never a good idea on Halloween, things go berserk. This time however, the terror stretches out from the funeral home and toward the Catholic school.

There’s a lot of callbacks. There’s a tit gag (which is a great effect) a lipstick gag, Angela dancing, and lots of possession. So this is pretty worn ground for the most part, but this isn’t a horrible sequel. There’s some fun, new characters, an ambitious snake transformation and a Halloween dance party.

If you have to watch 1 Night of the Demons movie this Halloween, The Shindig recommends the original Night of the Demons. But if you have to watch 2 Night of the Demons movies, you might as well watch just Night of the Demons 2 too.

I give it 2 stretchy titty-hands up.

Designation: Treat

Oct. 17th: Wacko (1982)

The Slasher craze of the late 70’s was like any phase in Hollywood; so saturated it was ripe for mockery.

At its peak in 1981, the great Slasher parody Student Bodies was released. As you can imagine, more followed.

1982 saw the release of 3 different parodies: National Lampoon’s Class Reunion, Pandemonium and our selection for the evening, Wacko.

While none of them were as good as Student Bodies, I think Wacko comes the closest. There’s a lot of gags here that don’t work, or comedy that feels horribly dated, but there’s a good amount of funny moments in Wacko, which is more than I can say for the absolutely dreadful Pandemonium, a film in which Paul Reuben’s was the only one who actually had me cracking a smile.

There are 3 distinct things that set Wacko immediately above the pack:

1.) It has E.G. Daily

2.) The killer is a becaped, pumpkin-headed mumbler

and

3.) It takes place on Halloween.

Also, you’ll get George Kennedy playing a leering perv named Doctor, Joe Don Baker slobbing it up as the detective hot on the murderer’s trail, and a very young Andrew Dice Clay perfecting his comic timing with some great moments.

I have a soft spot in my heart for parodies, and one with Halloween imagery and themes will definitely get a pass from me for its various faults. It also has a fun Airplane-styled 80’s vibe that makes it easier viewing.

I can’t help but compare it to the far inferior Pandemonium, which I also watched recently. If it helps, watch that one first, if only to appreciate Wacko more for not being that fucking movie.

It’s not all treats with Wacko, but there’s enough here to satisfy fans hungry for goofy 80’s parody nonsense with a little Halloween spirit.

I give 1 lawnmower up.

Designation: Treat

 

Oct. 16th: Mr. Halloween (2006)

Take a pinch of Carpenter’s Halloween, add a dash of A Bucket of Blood, a quarter cup Hauntedween and then mix that with every movie you’ve seen made by high schoolers for approximately 112 minutes and you’ll get Mr. Halloween.

Wait, hold on. 112 minutes?

Yeah.

While not an unvaliant effort for a couple of kids armed with their family and friends and a budget that might score you a used 2006 Toyota Corolla, Mr. Halloween still well overstays his welcome. You could trim a metric ton of nougat off of this treat and probably have something resembling kind of edible.

Nothing this low-budget should be anywhere near 2 hours long. 90 minutes is pushing it, but 80 is probably your sweet spot, with a brisk 70-75 giving you just enough time to get in, show your stuff and get out before leaving a bad taste in the audience’s mouth.

I want Mr. Halloween to be that. There’s a lot of good here for some amateur fans making a go at a full length feature. Part of me wants to re-edit Mr. Halloween to be just that.

As it stands though, you have to chew through a lot nonsense to find just a small caramel center. People walking, unnecessary conversations with tedious dialogue, precious seconds of run-time just blown on the empty spaces between things. Spaces where tension could be created with the right kind of editing.

Essentially Bill Loomis is an upstate New York weirdo who runs a local garage haunt, a haunt rumored to use real bodies in its displays. Everyone in town calls this goofball “Mr. Halloween.” So why do so few genuinely suspect this guy for the disappearances of all the local high-school kids? Good question. It’ll take you about 10 minutes to figure it out and about and hour and a half for the movie to confirm your suspicions.

The Wolf brothers are clearly fans of horror and there’s some ideas and scenes here that rise above their surroundings. Particularly the early sequences in the haunt itself, which are pretty fun. I think the movie could have used more of that spirit.

It’s a genuine effort though, totally earnest in its presentation. I applaud these kids for making it and then (even more impressively) getting it picked up by a distribution company and getting it out there. Those are feats unto themselves at all stages.

In my heart I want to recommend Mr. Halloween, but I really can’t. It’s too serious to have much fun with, its shortcomings aren’t of the laughable variety and it’s simply just too long.

This one gets 1 guillotine down but a smiling jack-o-lantern up for effort.

Designation: Trick

Oct. 15th: Murder Party (2007)

Before this year’s Green Room and 2013’s Blue Ruin, Jeremy Saulnier whipped out his own Reservoir Dogs-styled debut with 2007’s Murder Party.

Lonely loser Christopher S. Hawley planned to spend a quiet Halloween at home with a few VHS tapes and his cat. That was until he stumbled upon a random Halloween invitation: “Murder Party…come alone.”

Yeah, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not taking any piece of card stock up on that offer.

But Christopher S. Hawley is a lonely idiot and and he does just that, but not before making the most low-rent knight costume he can out of cardboard and baking a pumpkin loaf.

What he finds at the party is a bunch of goofy art students dressed in some fun costumes awaiting him at a warehouse, where they will then murder him for their art.

It also turns out Christopher S. Hawley is much cooler and smarter than any of the pretentious fartists at the warehouse. I love Christopher S. Hawely, and I wish we got a little more from him on the character side.

Murder Party is fun and mostly humorous with some moments of gore to delight. Macon Blair’s devilish wolf mask mishap being a highlight. There’s a good amount of Halloween ambiance as well, culminating in a pumpkin filled slaughter-installation.

It definitely feels like a film-school styled debut, but it’s a debut that shows lots of promise, promise the Saulnier has made pretty good on. I didn’t love Murder Party and it does drag a bit, but this is a pretty entertaining horror-lite Halloween comedy treat with a lot of fun scenes to offer.

Plus, if you’ve ever attended art school, or know a bunch of dildos who did/do, you may find their skewering of art school crowd here pretty spot-on.

This one gets a Baseball Fury and a Pumpkin Loaf up.

Designation: Treat

 

Video

Oct. 14th: Pumpkin Man (1998)

What in the hell is Pumpkin Man? Where the hell did it come from? Why was it even made? What exactly is going on here?

I’m not sure, but apparently this isn’t an easy one to find, unless you happen to be randomly browsing the dusty shelves at Eddie Brandt’s in North Hollywood back in 2000 whatever and there are multiple copies just sitting there on a rack.

Being me, I didn’t even look at it twice, and I doubt I looked at it for very long. I’d never heard of it and was most certainly leaving with it, whatever the hell it was.

Seeing as how it’s a rare oddity and it’s only about 30 minutes, here is Pumpkin Man in all its glory for all you Halloweeners to enjoy,…or be confounded by…or to hate every sappy second of.

Me? This shit is just weird enough, and wholesome enough and Halloweeny enough for my recommendation.

I give this 1 winking pumpkin man and 2 pumpkinoid alien people up!

Designation: Treat!

Enjoy!

 

I won’t say much, seeing as how it’s just up there for you to make heads or tails of yourself, but I will ask a few questions:

1. Why is there a short television special where a pumpkin helps a kid deal with divorce on Halloween?

2. What the hell is the Pumpkin Man exactly, and why does he bother turning all Jason’s friend into dope looking pumpkin heads?

3. Is he just some expression of Jason’s psychosis? If so, why can Jason’s friends see him?

4. Given his annoyance at all the kids ding-dong-ditching his house every year on Halloween, why wouldn’t Sammy Hain just sit outside one time and put the whole thing to rest?

5. Who the fuck are those pumpkinoid creatures in the beginning? Am I to understand that’s Jason and his dad on Halloween the previous year?

6. If so, where did they get sick ass prosthetic creature makeups from?

7. Are they goblins? I was convinced by a friend they were alien pumpkin people. I was incredibly high at the time and this scared me quite a bit. Even still, I like that drug addled read more.

8. Why does this exist?

Oct. 13th: The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane (1976)

It’s Halloween, but the little girl who lives down the lane is celebrating her birthday, so we might forgive her for being a bit distracted. She’s also from England, which as we know is not as keen on the Eve of All Hallows’ as we are across the pound.

However, a young Martin Sheen is going to try an teach her (an even younger Jodie Foster) just what Halloween is all about. Namely treats…and tricks.

While not quite a horror movie, nor quite a Halloween movie, The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane feels almost like a stage play and has the distinction of being perhaps the best film featured on this year’s countdown.

It’s a strangely engaging little parlor mystery featuring a eerie and impressive performance from the 13 year old Foster that belies her age. It also features equally intriguing supporting performances from Emilio’s dad and Bad Ronald. How’s that for ya?

It’s an off-beat character study of sorts which pits nature vs. nurture. It’s not The Bad Seed by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s an interesting companion piece that takes a gander from the seed’s point of view.

The less said about this one the better, and the less you know about its plot going in is likewise true. I watched this one as cold as they come. All I knew was that it featured Halloween and I was pleasantly surprised.

I will say that the Halloween is brief, though not entirely unfestive, and takes place at the very start of the film. From there it’s mostly up to the autumnal trappings of rural Maine to provide the seasonal atmosphere. But perhaps like me, you’ll find yourself hooked by the time All Saints Day rolls around.

This one gets a green skeleton and a Frankenstein’s Monster up!

Designation: Treat!