Audio

Touching Old Magic

TRACK #188:

Touching Old Magic by The Real Ghostbusters

Ok, that Rosemary’s Baby stuff was a little heavy, so to lighten things up a bit, we’re gonna go in the complete opposite direction…or are we?

The Real Ghostbusters fought a fair share of spooks over their 7 season run. So, it should come as no surprise that they had a few different Halloween encounters.

My favorite, as selected for 2016′s Return of the 31 Days of Halloween countdown, is The Halloween Door.

Here, this Franken-headed fuck-face named Dr. Crowley wants to end Halloween forever. He even has his own cheeseball coalition of concerned buttinskis called Citizens United Against Halloween. What a dork. He then tries to enlist The Ghostbusters to provide the assist, but the GB’s ain’t down with that shit.

In fact, they’re so not down with that shit, they show up for a school assembly and bust out this rockin’ Halloween track just to show you what’s up.

Now, I know I’m a bit paranoid, and doing this blog over the years has certainly put me in a weird spot mentally over the nature of Halloween, it’s origins and all the media surrounding it. But, I gotta be honest here, I get a weird vibe from this. Like a Halloween 3 vibe. And that’s weird.

Maybe it’s all the Stonehenge and Celtic imagery, or maybe it’s the extolling of “old magic,” but it seems pretty bizarre. Because, I mean, why the fuck are some cartoon ghost police talking to kids about old magic anyway?

It’s weird, right? What are they saying, and why? And to kids? And is that weird? I dunno, but it sure makes me feel a little weird.

Doesn’t stop me from rocking out though, ’cause this is a Halloween jammer, for sure. You got the whole gang singing, with assembly attendees dancing in costume and Egon here rocking out on a modified Poly-800 while Slimer and his buddies turn into these weird Irish-green Jack-Lantern sperms. It’s all very festive…and probably totally weird.

We wrap it up in the same fashion the show does, with that Halloween prick Dr. Crowley firing up his Electronic, Positronic, Anti-Halloween Machine and…ending Halloween forever, Or opening up The Halloween Door?

 

Audio

Horror Hotel

TRACK #185:

Horror Hotel by The Misfits

Here’s another classic example of referencing a horror classic without actually talking about the movie at all, from Shindig All-Stars and referential magicians, The Misfits.

Sure, it might be called a Horror Hotel, but God knows what Danzig’s actually talking about here, because it’s not the 1963 Christopher Lee film.

What we do know is that it’s definitely about a hotel and some bad shit’s going down there, maybe even some horror. Particularly in Room 21, where all the underworld scum seem to congregate. Can’t say I know of any specific Room 21s from horror lore, but I’d be open to suggestions about what other references Glenn might be bandying about. Though I’ll wager it’s probably used simply because “Room 36” doesn’t rhyme with “scum.”

But that was sort of Glenn’s deal. Name a song after a classic movie and then whip up some lyrics that sort of jive with the mood that title conjured. Unless of course you’re talking about Return of the Fly, which basically reads like a Videohound entry of the film of the same name, right down to listing of its actors and characters.

None of that really matters though, does it? I mean, at least not where The Misfits are concerned. Personally, I rather like that these songs are less overt in their referential nature. Something like Blitzkid’s Candyman lacks any of that artistic (?) subtlety, opting to bludgeon you with lyrics so simple and childlike, it sort of takes something away.

You get none of that from Danzig and Co., and as such are gifted that wonderful space of ambiguity and interpretation.

Plus, it give us the opportunity to cram that space with plenty of samples from the song’s namesakes. Couldn’t do that if they just named the song Room 21, now could we?

You wanna start somethin’ with me…?

 

Audio

Halloween

TRACK #180:

Halloween by Ostrogoth

No Halloween on Halloween Shindig would be complete without a Halloween Song called Halloween. This year it’s from Belgian metalers Ostrogoth.

If you’ve never heard of them, don’t feel down, I’m pretty sure unless you were a serious hesher in 1985, you probably haven’t. And if they didn’t have a song called Halloween, I probably wouldn’t either.

Wading in the dregs of 80’s euro-metal stands a band named after a sect of the East Germanic Goths, partially responsible for the fall of the Western Roman Empire! Do these guys know how to party, or what!?

Partiers or not, they know how to Halloween. And they’re Halloweening hard here with a song so spooky it even features a creepy Devil voice.

Loaded with clips from Halloween 4, cause we haven’t tapped that keg yet, and because Don LaFontaine absolutely kills on this trailer.

I’ve seen Halloween 4. I don’t much care for Halloween 4, but every time I hear Don’s voiceover, I forget how much I don’t actually care for Halloween 4 and almost throw it on.

When they wanted to provide some damage control from the consumer fallout of Halloween III…they weren’t fuckin’ around.

“Ever since that night, no one…has forgotten his name…and Halloween…has never been the same.”

Happy Halloween, Weeners!

 

Audio

Chariots of Pumpkins

TRACK #178:

Chariots of the Pumpkins by John Carpenter and Alan Howarth

Speaking of perfect ways to start of an October 31st, lets move to this selection from the (unjustly) lesser-lauded Halloween 3, a film so damn Halloweeny, it practically out-Halloweens every other film in a series called Halloween. No small feat.

When John and Michael parted ways in 1978, the money guys weren’t content to just let that be the end of the Myers tale. John didn’t want any part of a sequel though, and declined to direct, being more creatively inspired to explore new stories, like The Fog. Allegedly, he only agreed to pen the script so he could recoup some money following the original, from which he claims he never saw much in the way of profit. Additionally, he co-produced the sequel and provided some scoring, no doubt assisting in that aim.

By the time the inevitable Halloween III rolled around, John finally got his wish, and they produced a Halloween-themed film, completely separate from Michael Myers. But it seems it was just a little too little, too late. Needless to say, the fans were not pleased.

However, Halloween III is superior to just about every other sequel in the rather disappointing and hum-drum franchise that is Halloween. And of the many things it has going for it, it’s score stands proudly among them.

A collaboration again between Carpenter and long-time musical partner Alan Howarth, this score honestly feels more Carpenter-esque (in my estimation) than the one they provided for Halloween 2. Perhaps Howarth is more instrumental to that sound we call “Carpenter’s” than he’s given due credit for.

This is an 80’s, synth-drenched sound that just reverberates “horror.” And if October 31st sounds like anything, Chariots of Pumpkins might be a perfect descriptor.

 

Audio

Tenebre

TRACK #175:

Tenebre by Goblin

Next up from Goblin is a track that technically isn’t a even a Goblin song at all, but a song performed by the 3 Godfathers Claudio Simonetti, Massimo Morante and Fabio Pignatelli specifically (and individually): the theme from Tenebre.

Goblin had long since called it quits by the time Dario Argento got around to tapping them again to score another horror picture.

And though they buried their hatchets (at least enough to work on this score) they choose to be credited here individually, rather than as a group. Bad blood runs deep.

But you can’t fool us. This sound is unmistakable, and we all recognize it for what it is – the sound of Goblin!

 

Audio

The Theme from The Fog

TRACK #172: 

The Theme from The Fog by John Carpenter

This is Stevie Wayne here, your night light, on fabulous 1340 Shindig Radio, spinning the tunes for you all October long.

Halloween is just around the corner now, and I’ve got a solid block of spooky synth songs to shake your Samhain soiree. No singin’, just the smooth buzz of oscillating vibrations to give you and your guests the shivers.

This first one goes out to the men on the Seagrass. Watch out for that fog bank you’ll say isn’t there until all of a sudden it is. It’s filled with ghost pirates, and Garfield  won’t be there to bail you out.

Unil then, keep it here on Shindig Radio, and we’ll take you right into the witching hour. 

 

Audio

Samhain

TRACK #169:

Samhain by Samhain

The word “Samhain,” as many of you may know, is pronounced Sah-win, or Sow-Ween. A Celtic word, it was the name of a festival marking the beginning of winter, or perhaps more astutely, the end of the year.

It is said that during this time the veil between the living and the dead is at it most thin, making communion with the spirits, whether wanted or unwanted, all the more successful.

Huge bonfires would be lit to ward off evil. Disguises would be worn to trick them, and lights would burn in gourds to ferry the spirits of loved ones long gone home.

Many of the customs associated with modern day Halloween originate from this festival. Mumming or guising and going door to door in search of offerings being chief among them.

As for Samhain the band, they were formed in 1983 by Glenn Danzig as a side project to The Misfits. Once The Misfits disbanded though, Danzig focused all his attention toward Samhain. They would eventually evolve into the band known simply as Danzig, adopting both their logo and font, while taking their sound into more metal-like territory.

Heavier and darker than the comparatively cartoonish tone of The Misfits, Samhain is perhaps the least celebrated of Glenn’s outfits. But Danzig being Danzig, they offer up a song perfectly suited to our Shindig; the band anthem Samhain.

At the time of this writing, it is less than a week away from Halloween and it is currently 102 degrees in Los Angeles. There are 3 fires currently burning across various parts of the LA county.

Feel the warmth of the Samhain flame.

 

Audio

Prince of Darkness

TRACK #168:

Prince of Darkness by Alice Cooper

In 1987, after struggling to work within the studio system and the unfortunate box-office performance of Big Trouble in Little China, John Carpenter decided to go rogue once again.

And rogue indeed, producing a straight-faced and strange (maybe even ahead of it’s time) film that I can’t imagine any major studio green-lighting. What emerged was an atmospheric, dread-drenched affair of Science converging with Religion to prove the existence of God.

Or perhaps more appropriately, the existence of Satan.

Sub-atomic. Moving within the atoms of things, where logic need not apply. Liquid evil. A green, putrid substance filled with all the abominations of the earth.

It was captured and sealed up long ago. A race of Humanoid Aliens, of which Jesus was a member, kept watch. But the truth was hidden. Wrapped in metaphor and buried under ritual.

Now, in light of our faithlessness, it has awoken, and it wants control.

I like Prince of Darkness. It’s a little talkie, sure, and maybe a tad slow, but I don’t mind. I could listen to Egg Shen spout off about theoretical physics all night. Donald Pleasence is solid, even if he feels like he’s just plugged in from The Devil’s Men, and A.J. Simon is only distracting if you actually used to watch Simon and Simon, which you probably didn’t. The supporting players do a fine in their respective roles, including Carpenter regulars like Victor Wong, Peter Jason and Dennis Dun.

And, once the scientists start being slowly absorbed by the evil and the hobos begin to gather, John turns on the gas a bit.

Speaking of the street people, Alice Cooper jumps in to play the pale-faced, beanie-rockin, head-hobo. He even kills a dude with a rusty, old bike. A dude who happens to be listening to this very song on his Walkman….meta.

Seems this bike was Alice’s own personal prop too, as he used to do this gag live during his stage show. Now thats pretty bitchin’.

Here’s reigning All-Star Alice Cooper rockin’ again with the patented Title Track Prince of Darkness.

 

Audio

Trick or Treat

TRACK #165:

Trick or Treat by Halloween

A band named Halloween wouldn’t be worth their weight in candy corn if they weren’t coming correct with a song called Trick or Treat.

Thankfully, Detroit’s Heavy Metal Horror Show doesn’t disappoint. From Halloween’s 1985 debut album Don’t Metal with Evil comes Trick or Treat, just like it says on the tin.

Bookended by random clips from both Hack-O-Lantern and Halloween 2.

So, in case you’re feeling like you’ve been trick or treated to death these last few nights, Dr. Loomis is gonna let you know…

You don’t know what death is!

 

Audio

Trick or Treat

TRACK #164:

Trick or Treat by Witchfynde

Witchfynde eh? What’s their deal?

Another British band singing about Halloween? What gives, Ed? You said the Brits don’t give a toss for All Hallo’s.

Well, I don’t get the impression that they do. I’ve never claimed to be the authority on any matter, not even Halloween Horror Music, and I’ve written far too many words concerning that subject.

Whether that impression is true or not is neither here nor there when it comes to this ‘digger, because it’s a clear case of a band disguising a song as a Halloween song.

Witchfynde’s Trick or Treat details the dealings of a two-faced sort of character that has much but always wants more. Eventually, not being able to satiate his desires, he takes to B&E, a bit of murder, and gets himself tossed in the clink. Not exactly a love song, but definitely not specifically about Halloween.

Still, it’s a pretty groovin’ tune from a weird, occulty band called Witchfynde where the lyrics “Trick or Treat” get repeated a number of times, so we’re lightin’ it up.

Throw in a little festive atmosphere from the Tales From the Darkside episode entitled Halloween Candy, and you’ve got yourself a perfect number for an Oct. 20th’s evenings.

 

Audio

Halloween

TRACK #160:

Halloween by Siouxsie and The Banshees

The British don’t really give a shit about Halloween. At least not according to me and this blog on the occasions when we’ve previously stated as such.

We’ve based this idea almost exclusively on To The Devil a Daughter and The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane. Additionally, my wife has corroborated this somewhat, having spent some time in England and found their Halloween enthusiasm lacking.

Strange then that innovative British Post-Punkers and Goth pioneers Siouxsie and the Banshees have a song titled Halloween. Or maybe not, given their whole gothy aesthetic. To be fair though, their song isn’t a parade of Milky Ways, Don Post masks and burning orange gourds.

No, Siouxsie Sioux’s track is a more atmospheric affair that seems to deal with a loss of childhood innocence.

Doubling fitting then that we bookend it with samples from the aforementioned Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane, where American creepster Martin Sheen sleazes all over British child Jodi Foster on the Eve of All Saints in a decidedly less-than-innocent fashion.

He also provides us with a pretty solid and concise description of what Halloween represents stateside:

“Oh, it’s a big day here when all the kids get dressed up in scary costumes and masks and go around to all the houses. When you answer the door the shout ‘trick or treat’ and you’re suppose to act scared, and if you don’t give them a treat, they’ll pull some dirty trick on you.”

Yep, that’s pretty much what we got going on over here.

 

Audio

Stigmata Martyr

TRACK #159:

Stygmata Martyr by Bauhaus

From the original Night of the Demons comes a song not actually performed by Dennis Michael Tenney. How about that?

Effectively used in an effectively creepy scene shortly after Angela’s possession where she treats Sal (and us) with some interpretive dance to Bauhaus’ haunted hit.

The radio flips on mysteriously, the strobe flickers ominously, and Sal looks on disconcertingly while Angela writhes and gyrates to the post-punk gothic sounds.

In a movie where Linnea Quigley isn’t shy about her body in the slightest, the fact that Angela can be as equally distracting in a feat unto itself.

Apparently actress Amelia Kinkade (who looks pretty damn fantastic twirling around in her gothic get-up) was actually a dancer and choreographed all the moves herself.

She’s also in Roadhouse, which is pretty fantastic too. Additionally fantastic is her appearance in My Best Friend’s A Vampire.

Is there anything Angela can’t do?

She reprises her seductive dance routine in Night of the Demons 2, which is also worth checking out, despite being inferior to the original in pretty much every way.

What the 2 have going for them each, however, is that they are both incredibly Halloweeny and make for great late-October viewing.

“You’re a sweet lookin’ babe Suzanne, but you and you’re friend Ang are just a little too weird-o for me.”

 

Audio

Get Dead

TRACK #157:

Get Dead by Shari Belafonte

From 1985’s made-for-TV Halloween bonanza The Midnight Hour comes this creepy curio with so much mid-80’s budget-pop pizazz it even features a Soundwave-styled vocorder performance. Radical!

Harry Belafonte’s daughter Shari (pops wasn’t big on creativity, I guess) stars in the film and sings this tune, perhaps fashioned after the recent mega-hit Thriller.

In fact, the whole project seems to be an attempt to cash-in on Michael’s occult success; semi-spooky, family friendly, monster-mash madness with a throwback, 50’s drive-in flare. And this tune, an ensemble dance number staged at a Halloween party, appears to be the piece de resistance.

Though clearly made for TV and a little toothless, The Midnight Hour is a pretty enjoyable and festive addition to anyone’s October line-up. It’s even a fair bit more creepy than something you’d imagine was just made for TV.

You’ll get some fun guest appearances too, from the likes of Spaceball’s King Roland, Clarence Boddicker, that one guy from 21 Jumpstreet, UHF’s R.J. Fletcher, Yori from Tron and The Reading Rainbow Dude who wore that bitchin’ visor on Star Trek. Studded.

Plus there’s tons of Halloween ambiance, creepy Thriller-Lite graveyard scenes, a lot of cool make-ups and FX, a bunch of fun Halloween costumes, more monsters than you can shake a stick at and this kickin’ ‘digger. What more could you want from an October evening’s Televison adventure?

I’m dead, you’re dying. Everybody should try it…

Get Dead!

 

Audio

Take the Time To Dream

TRACK #156:

Take the Time to Dream by FM

A Friday the 13th, in October? Now that’s a rarity. You know we gotta represent on this one. Good thing The Shindig is prepared with a poppy piece of Crystal Lake crooning from Jason’s later catalog.

A lot of people dislike Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood. I’m not one of them, but they exist and I can’t say I blame them.

Its heavily censored kills feel like highway robbery, it has one most disappointing endings in the series, the teenage fodder on display isn’t particularly interesting and the film just feels tired. Psychic girl unwittingly resurrects Jason? C’mon…

However, 7 has a lot going for it. I think of it as Jason’s last hoorah, for it’s the last time he’s in his element doing what he does best, before he takes off to Manhattan, other peoples bodies, Hell, Space, Elm Street, and ultimately Remakewood. Say what you want about 7, it never gets this good (or as true to itself) again.

But it is stretching its limits, as the whole thing finally succumbs to the Elm Street Effect and goes full-on supernatural.

The psychic angle, while a bit much, offers some interest though. Mainly, it puts a new spin on a formula that had already well worn out its welcome, having seen probably it’s best reworking in Jason Lives. It also finally gives Jason a formidable opponent, something really unseen up to this point in the series, silly as that opponent might be.

However, New Blood’s biggest plus come in the form of Jason himself, namely the addition of literal new blood, Kane Hodder, and the make-up work of John Carl Buechler.

Jason never looked this good before, or after. This is it. This is the most badass Jason around. With his spine-exposed and masked destroyed, he’s constantly dripping water and stalking around with a menace unmatched. And lets face it, that’s what we’re all here to see.

The soundtrack is coming up pretty short here though, in my opinion. Mostly just handed over to prog-wavers FM out of what feel like laziness, the songs never play much prominence, or hit any high notes. Even the score here feels a little wrong.

However, I’ve chosen one of those FM tracks for the Shindig, mostly so I can rant a little about Part 7 and post some gifs. Besides, that opening narration is too cool not too use somewhere.

And as if the psychic girl wasn’t Elm Street enough for you, this song’s all about dreaming. Sure, it’s a more figurative kind of dreaming, but I still I think it’s safe to say that by 1987, Freddy was winning the fight.

Happy Friday, October The 13th!

 

Audio

Nightmare

TRACK #155:

Nightmare by 213

Freddy Krueger: What can be said about the quintessential 80’s man-specter that hasn’t been said a thousands different times by a thousand different nerds? Who am I to pretend like I’ve got some groundbreaking shit to drop on you? I’m no one, and I don’t, so I won’t. I’m simply another nerd with a foolishly myopic blog, so I’ll just stick to the script.

Freddy (whether I’ve said this before or not I can’t recall) is the reigning champ of horror tunes. He owns the 80’s pop-music-via-monster-icon scene. The guy even cut his own album. He’s all over it.

Jason comes close, but the Friday people didn’t fully climb aboard this particular train until part 6, and they never really bought a ticket. Freddy was shoveling coal in it’s boiler room.

And from the jump too, as even his first outing got its own little referentially inclusive tune in the form of 213’s Nightmare.

Well, who the fuck is 213? Apparently they’re no ones, as no one seems to have any information on these guys. Well, aside from the painfully obviously “they were some local LA band that provided this track” or the goofier and obviously nonsensical “they were Johnny Deep’s band” theory.

Whoever they were, they’ll go down in the Shindig’s book as they guys who churned out that thoroughly apropos end credit song from the original Nightmare On Elm Street, and baby, that’s enough.

So, up yours with a twirling lawnmower,…whatever the hell that even means.

 

Audio

Fall Break

TRACK #151:

Fall Break by Peter Yellen and The Breakers

If there’s one thing The Shindig hates, it’s when foolish producers try to bench a perfectly good Title Track. The Shindig lives for Title Tracks and finds this practice to be an affront to both the films and their visionary creators.

A great example is our next digger, a song we absolutely love, Fall Break.

Now this is a Title Track; tailor made, vaguely referential, tonally incongruous and totally bizarre. It sounds like an 80’s sitcom theme and it’s awesome.

But somebody with a suit and a wallet thought no one would watch a movie called Fall Break.

He was probably right. It’s a strange title. Is Fall Break even a thing? I’ve never heard of it outside of this movie. We certainly never got one growing up. Fuck, the school year just started, they need a break already? It sounds like some lame version of Spring Break in New Hampshire with no bikinis. Who’s getting jazzed for Fall Break?

Nobody, that’s who, and the money guys know it. They want rentals at the local Video Stop, and that same nobody is renting Fall Fucking Break.

Enter: The Mutilator.

People wanna see The Mutilator. Hell,  I wanna see The Mutilator, it sounds tough as shit. It’s direct, violet, unambiguous, and a hell of the lot more intriguing then whatever stupid shit is happening in, what did you say that title was again? Fall Break? Yeah, that’s gotta go.

”But the movies already been made, cut and released as Fall Break. We even have a song called Fall Break playing during the opening credits and everything!”

Yeah, whatever to that bullshit, it’s The Mutilator now.

And a Title Track died.

Except, technically the film was released as Fall Break, so here on The Shindig we’re keepin it real; resurrecting all Title Tracks and returning them to their rightful seats on the throne!

Fall Break, like its title, is a strange song. It’s a great fit for the playlist, inspiring autumnal images perfectly befitting our night of All Hallows. As a Title Track to the film however, it feels a little out of place.

As mentioned above, it seriously sounds like a sitcom theme, with a tone straight off the Silent Night, Deadly Night soundtrack. There’s nothing ominous here. In fact, it’s a rather nice love song of sorts, ringing with the hopeful promise of an Autumn getaway; beer, football, leaves, skinny dipping and fun at a beach house. In a way, I guess it’s like the beginning of a slasher movie. No fear, just fun. Maybe it’s not so out of place after all.

Speaking of the beach house, here’s a warning to all would-be college kids seeking a weekend getaway at a similar beach front condo…

If the man who owns the house has a framed picture of a guy he “accidentally” murdered with his ski boat – leave. That’s it. Just take off. Politely excuse yourself, and say “Nope. Not stayin’ here. I hope you understand, but that photo is just too much” and leave. I don’t care if dude’s there or not. Doesn’t matter. Just terminate your presence immediately.

Because this is not just any picture of the guy, mind you, it’s a photo of his actual corpse. Not the guy hanging out during better times, ya know, as a nice reminder of their friendship – it’s his dead fucking body, gore strewn, presumably only minutes after the incident.

This photo is crazy. Why does Big Ed have this picture,…and framed no less!? And why aren’t any of Ed Jr.’s friends even the least bit perturbed by this photo? It’s absolute madness.

As far as the movie is concerned, I’d say apart from a couple of pretty interesting murders staged by Anthony Show and Mark Shostrum (who would later go on to produce FX for Dream Warriors and Evil Dead 2 amongst other things) Fall Break is a rather throwaway mid-era slasher devoid of any laughs, intentional or otherwise.

There’s barely any skin and all the tension of an untied shoe, kind of like the prospect of a Fall Break. Essentially, this is a who-dun-it where you already know who-dun-it before they’ve even dun-it. What’s the point? I dunno, some cool gore scenes, I guess. Oh yeah, and an awesome title track.

Speaking of which, here it is, the best thing about Fall Break, its Peter Yellen and The Breakers with Fall Break!

 

Audio

Aerobicide/Woman On Fire

TRACK #152:

Aerobicide/Woman On Fire by Mary Hylan/Jill Colucci

For a certain type of 80’s horror junkie, Aerobicide might be a wet dream come true.

There’s a formulaic and totally telegraphed whodunit plot. There’s an impractical and ridiculously oversized safety pin as a murder weapon. There’s an awesome hard-boiled detective. There’s even awesomer private investigator played by 80’s cheeseball-badass Ted Prior. There’s cheap karate, a rake fight, nudity and no shortage of 80’s babes in workout gear getting physical.

But above all, there’s the absolutely relentless 80’s synth-pop soundtrack.

However, there are a couple injustices besetting this soundtrack.

Namely, it was never officially released. Why? This thing is great. And why hasn’t anyone resurrected  it yet? Where’s Death Waltz Records on this forgotten gem of a soundtrack?

There are rumors of promotional copies floating around that were release in ’84. It’s also said that all of the songs were released separately on 7″ vinyls by their various artists. Good luck finding any of those.

Secondly, and most unfortunately, the greatest of all these tracks is featured so briefly in the film it beggars belief. Worst of all, it’s the film’s Title Track. What? This isn’t the song played over the credits? This is the song that gets barely a minute of screen time so as we can’t even steal it properly? What cruel ruse is this?

Perhaps it can be explained by the inexplicable decision to retitle the film Killer Workout. Why would someone do such a thing? Is Aerobicide too high-concept? Too confusing? Similar to Land of the Minotaur, it’s not a bad title on its own, but when you compare it to Aerobicide, it’s no contest.

And because of that, this song should be all over this movie, or at the very least played during the credits. As a people, we need this whole song.

But, beggars can’t be choosers, so well provide what’s available of that track and just lead it into the aptly titled Woman on Fire by Jill Colucci, cause what else can we do?

On a side note, if you happen to find the voice of Jill Colucci sounds a bit familiar to you, it may be because she’s responsible for the theme to America’s Funniest Home Videos. Ok, that’s pretty weird.

For now, take what you can get and try to grab a copy of Aerobicide for yourself, which was finally made a whole lot easier last year when Slasher//Video released both a DVD and Blu-Ray of a video transfer.

Oh, and keep and eye out for this spray paint, which predates the film Death Spa by about 3 years.

Coincidence? I dunno, but these 2 would make for one heaving, sweaty double-feature.

There’s an 80’s horror fan reading this right now. Aerobicide is their favorite movie, they just don’t know it yet.

Is that reader you?

HUGE UPDATE! OCTOBER 2022!

It’s happened, Weeners. The impossible has occurred. The original soundtrack to Aerobicide has been dug up, brushed off, given a new pair of spandex and is out dancin’ in front of Rhonda’s Workout as we speak.

Thanks to the incredible sleuthing skills of Gilles Nuytens, this incredible soundtrack finally comes to life. He found them, I don’t know how, but he found them. He has apparently cleaned them up and remastered them a bit too, and they sound great. Not gonna lie, because I’ve been listening to the VHS versions for so many years, they sound a little weird; pitched a bit differently, have a slightly different tempo and sound…off. But they sound good and clean.

Gilles doesn’t quite have the full soundtrack yet, there’s still a few missing tracks, one of which appears to be Woman On Fire, so I can only update the Title Track on this double shot, but boy is that good enough for me. If and when the other songs are unearthed, you better believe this fucker’s getting the full Super Soundtrack treatment over here at The Shindig.

Having somewhat given up hope on this one, I had stopped actively looking for these tracks, imagining if they popped up, one of the big horror labels would release a pressing.

If not for the vigilance of Shindig follower Austin Popdan, we’d still be without this knowledge.

Thank you Austin, and thank you Gilles. Hearing the full version of this amazing Title Track was a fantastic moment of pure joy I was never sure I’d experience. We hope all you Shindiggers enjoy it as well.

Click below to hear…and i never thought I’d say this…the full version of…

Aerobicide!

Audio

Ghost Fever

TRACK #149:

Ghost Fever by Sherman Hemsley

Ok, so Ghost Fever‘s a pretty shitty movie, right?

Oh, not sure you agree with me? Go see for yourself. I’ll meet you back here in 92 minutes

Alright, so now that we’re all on the same page, let’s talk this through.

I’m not sure how much Ghost Fever you actually came down with but chances are it wasn’t so much that you’ll be requiring any antibiotics.

That being said, I love Ghost Fever. It has the distinction of being the only movie where Sherman Hemsley plays corner man to Luis Ávalos as he boxes Smoking Joe Fraizer with the assistance of Southern ghosts. Well, the only one that I’ve seen anyway.

It’s also the only movie I’ve ever seen with a break-dancing mummy.

Now, that’s pretty awesome.

All of this however does not make Ghost Fever a good movie, it just makes Ghost Fever a singular thing, and that’s worth something. Admittedly, it’s a little more than hard to sit through, but if you can get behind a poor idea executed in the poorest possible fashion, with the most eye-rolling bafoonery this side of Pandemonium, it’s a certain kind of treat.

James Ross at Badmovienite.com probably puts it best in his humorous review:

“At times it’s like a live action episode of Scooby-Doo meets the Harlem Globetrotters. Except it’s not really fun, or funny, and there are no talking dogs.”

Well, there’s definitely no talking dogs, I’ll give him that. But I’m laughing (kind of), particularly when it decides to get all batshit crazy toward the end. It’s not always the kind of laugh Alan Smithee is intending, but a laughs a laugh, right?

Oh yeah, did I mention Ghost Fever is an Alan Smithee film? That oughta give you an idea of what’s going on here.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Smithee, “he’s” a pseudonym the Director’s Guild of America allows a filmmaker to use if they feel too embarrassed by the final product and can demonstrate a lack of artistic control.

Yeah, so even actual director Lee Madden disavowed this pile. I’m not quite sure it’s that bad, nor it even so bad it’s entertaining by virtue, but it’s definitely bad, that much I can say with confidence. But, dear Weeners, it’s not without its moments and with the right amount of intoxicants and the right amount of friends with the right sensibilities, it could be the right movie.

Of course, here on The Shindig, we don’t talk about this kind of nonsense without merit or a cause célèbre and Ghost Fever (as you might imagine) has a fucking doozy.

Submitted for your Halloween enjoyment, here’s George Jefferson himself spiriting his way through a disco title track of supernatural proportions.

Cause I got Ghost Fever!

 

Audio

The Haunted House of Rock

TRACK #148:

The Haunted House Of Rock by Whodini

Trick Or Treat – what more can you possibly give The Shindig? Haven’t you given enough already? Surely there are no more Halloween delights under your thin candy shell.

Oh, but there is – a thick nougat center of Monster Rap awesomeness.

In between all the Fastway rocking of the Trick Or Treat soundtrack, tucked away so’s you might not even notice, is this curve-ball of horrific proportions. From 80’s Hip-Hop maestros Whodini comes one of the finest Monster Raps featured on The Shindig, The Haunted House of Rock.

Played during the Halloween Dance sequence, just before Roger turns the speakers over to Sammy Curr’s backwards metallic cassette, Whodini rocks a rhyme about the monsters and mayhem taking place at the titular haunted abode.

What is this song doing on this soundtrack? What is this song even doing in existence? I don’t have an answer to either question, but in both cases I’m sure glad it is.

Succeeding in just about every way Lovebug Starski’s Amityville fails, The Haunted House of Rock features an actual Haunted House propagated by a multitude of real ghouls with no sign of any Starship Enterprise crew members in sight.

Amityville only outshines it for a brief moment when Dracula raps. That’s pretty huge and should not be ignored. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Amityville and it’s ridiculously unhaunted tale, but Whodini delivers the goods in way Starski only aspires to and they remain the champs of the Haunted Monster Party Rap game.

The Haunted House of Rock may even be the champ of the Monster Rap game in its entirety. But it does have some stiff competition.

If you Iike your Monster Raps a bit more specific, Are You Ready For Freddy might be your speed. If you like them a bit more ridiculous, then maybe The Maniac Cop Rap is the winner. Or if you like your Monster Rappin a bit more whack, then The Monster Squad is just what the doctor ordered.

But for my money, when it comes to legitimacy, Whodini is holding it down with this old-school hip-hop horror hit and its inclusion in Trick Or Treat just ups the ante.

I saw everybody there, except you. Let’s change that this year.

 

Audio

Amityville

TRACK #143:

Amityville by Lovebug Starski

In 1985, rap pioneer Lovebug Starski (best known widely for, well this song) decided it’d be a good idea if he just recorded some random track about Amityville. Not for any Amityville movie mind you, but rather during a 5 year lull in the franchise (3D having been released in ‘83, and Curse not for another 4 years.)

Hell, he didn’t even make it in reference to the movies really, but just cause he thought it’d be fun I guess and maybe even a hit.

And he was right!  This sucker broke the Billboard Top 20 in ‘86, which means that, for a period of time in America, people were legitimately rocking out to this song. Which is totally understandable. This song is awesome and weird as shit.

Starski uses the real Amityville legend (I guess?) as a sort of jumping off point for some crazy-ass song about a vaguely Haunted House where nothing much happens, but everybody visits.

A Karloff-esque butler greets Starski upon his arrival, then later Dracula shows up for no good reason and raps. Now, that alone is plenty of reason for Amityville to make the cut for every Halloween party playlist ever created.

And as if that wasn’t bizarre enough though, just for the hell of it, Captain Kirk, Scotty and Spock arrive at one point to talk about Starski over the spooky beat. I’m sorry, what? Why? This song is fucking nuts.

Apparently, looking at the 45 sleeve above, you’ll note the record came complete with a “Free Black Hole,” ya know, for all the “time-shift special appearances.” I guess at least they tried to justify this nonsense with some kind of acknowledgement. Not sure if that makes it more or less weird, though.

So take a drive out to Amityville. You know, the house on the hill. You just make a left, then you make a right and……Amityville!