Monster Raps

It’s tricky to rock a rhyme. It’s trickier to rock one about monsters. These tricksters have all treated us to some tracks about trickin’ and treatin’. As The Cryptkeeper might say…”They all arm me with harm…ony, yeeeheeeheeeehaaaha!”

Audio

Freaky Halloween

TRACK #370:

Freaky Halloween by EJ Rock

On several occasions now I have spoken about a hard to find or incomplete song, and that has somehow seemed to simply manifest that song into availability.

The first instance was with the woefully truncated Title Track to Aerobicide. This one took years, but was finally uncovered and restored to its full glory by Giles Nuytens. Thank him. Hit like and subscribe and all of that. He’s out there in these streets doin’ the Lord’s work.

The second instance was Bit Bizzare’s Freddy Krueger rap Freddie’s Groove, a rare Hip-Hop single which also existed in an incomplete form on YouTube and was hard come by on vinyl. Shortly after our Freddy’s Rap episode and posting it to the Freddy’s Raps playlists, two different copies of the 45 suddenly presented themselves. One of these now has a permanent residence in the Halloween Hole and has thusly been uploaded to YouTube and the Freddy Raps playlist.

Similarly, the 3rd occurrence was with another Freddy Rap entitled He’s Back from LA’s own Triple Scoop. Shortly after expressing my disappointment about not being able to include that song on the same playlist, a copy not only appeared on Discogs, but some kind soul uploaded it to Youtube as well. Thank the maker.

So now, rather than avoiding tonight’s song again for yet another year, I’m just gonna let her rip, in hopes that whatever synchronistic hoodoo is going on around here can maybe work it’s magic once again.

Because for many, many years now, this song has been the Holy Grail of Halloween Shindig.

Freaky Halloween? An Electro Rap tune from 1987 specifically about Halloween? Are you kidding me? Any rap song specifically about Halloween is rare enough, but something of this nature, from this era? It had to be great.

But alas, years and years passed and I had yet to come across a single copy for sale. Only 2 registered users on Discog even owned it. 42 other users wanted it, and yet not 1 has ever sold on the platform in its 22 years of existence.

It is a song so elusive, I didn’t even know what it sounded like…

…until last year, that is.

See, in early 2022, some remarkable person took their rare 45 of EJ Rock’s Freaky Halloween and graciously uploaded it to YouTube. And it’s glorious. It’s everything I had hoped it could be and more, but…

There’s always a “but,” isn’t there?

See, this guy not only recorded it through what sounded like the microphone on his cellphone, but he only uploaded a minute’s worth of the song! What kind of sick joke is this, sir?! You have, in your possession one of the rarest Halloween songs known to man, and a YouTube channel, and the wherewithal to upload the track, and this is the treatment you afford it?

I suppose we should be grateful that we have it at all. And I am, please don’t misunderstand me. But, in a way, it’s almost worse now. See, when I didn’t know what it sounded like, it was still a mystery. It still had the chance to be whack. But it’s not whack! It’s fantastic! And now curious desire has been replaced with desperate need. Desperate need that can not be satiated.

And look, I begged him. He’s in Brazil, I believe. I used multiple accounts to request he upload the full song. I even pleaded with him in Portuguese to give this song to the world, fully. But at present, he has not acquiesced.

This playlist will never be complete in my eyes without this song. This full song.

If anyone reading this post has this 45, I will pay handsomely for it. If you can not part with it, I completely understand. But could you please make a decent rip of this song and send it to The Shindig. I’d pay just as handsomely for that. Even if you don’t own it and just have access to it – please! Access it for the team, champ!

Hell, maybe can we all just go to this guy’s YouTube and kindly request he post the full song? Even with his shitty phone recording. I’d take that at this point, just to hear the rest of the song. It’s a Freaky Halloween, and goddamn it, we need to know why!

The Shindig needs this song.
You need this song.
The World needs this song.

Please help Halloween Shindig make this and all future Halloweens, freaky.

Until then, let us bask in what little exists of Ernest Jordan’s electro-rap masterpiece Freaky Halloween.

Now, this is all you would have read and heard, had I posted this last year when it was supposed to post. Indeed, it’s all you would have read if I had posted this 3 weeks ago…

Because that is when the hoodoo apparently worked it’s magic yet again. Just sitting in the draft folder for almost 3 years, this post stirred the spirits. And like some summoned Halloween miracle, the very same guy on YouTube, DJTuta from Brazil, posted his 45 for sale on Discogs. Get right outta town.

Of course, he posted it for an absolutely unconscionable amount of money. Well, at least for a price that was completely unjustifiable to me. The dream was shattered.

So I began to soothe myself, “C’mon. No one is gonna pay that much for Freaky Halloween. It’ll sit there unsold, he’ll eventually mark it down, and then you can rush in! It’s yours, just be patient.”

But what if it didn’t just sit there unsold? Was that a risk I was willing to take?

After a few days went by with no one purchasing the record, I was feeling reassured. But I started getting paranoid, too. I had been down this road before with other rare items. If something, even something rare,  is available and every time you check on it it’s still available, you can become complacent and you drag your feet. But then bam! All of a sudden and before you know it, it’s gone. You have to just accept you had a chance and you squandered it and now you’re waiting again. What if that happened here?

Only 47 (apparently 5 more people had expressed interest in the last 2 years) other people “wanted” it on Discogs, and that’s not that many. But it was still 46 chances for someone to swoop in and scoop it up. What if this was our only chance? What if it got purchased and hoarded again and we never got to even really hear it?! What if someone else out there decided they needed Freaky Halloween more than Halloween Shindig needed Freaky Halloween?!!

Well, fuck all that business. No one needs Freaky Halloween more than Halloween Shindig, goddamn it! And The Shindig will democratize its availability and make sure that the whole world receives it, uncut and clear! This was what this site was made for, and this is what needed to be done.

But that price. That goddamn price. We simply couldn’t pay it. It was just completely unjustifiable.

But…

There’s always another “but.” We wouldn’t be talking about this still if there wasn’t another “but,” right?

Because that’s when I remembered – The Shindig coffers! Of course!!

See, there’s a specific PayPal account where all the Redbubble, TeePublic, Zazzle, Ko-Fi and Shindig Shop sales just deposit to, and it’s not my main PayPal account. It’s an account I hadn’t actually looked at in almost 4 years. And holy shit. It was possible.

Why, if not for this very reason, was there even an account? Why, if not for this express purpose, had people ever supported this foolish endeavor of ours? Why, if not to make that which is unobtainable to one, accessible to all through the power of many?

If you have ever purchased a die-cut, a sticker, a Title Tracks T-Shirt, a Shindig Radio dog blanket, a throw pillow with Kyle’s face on it, or simply given us a few buck just for the fuck of it – then this is for you. This super rare and almost unobtainium piece of Halloween music exists on this website, in its complete form and for the entire world to enjoy, because of you. All of you.

My endless gratitude goes out to each and every person who has ever contributed anything to this fund. You have made this Halloween aspiration – an aspiration you were not even aware existed – come to fruition, in the clutch, when it was absolutely needed the most. And for that, I thank you.

And you should thank each other. Because of you all, this Halloween, and every Halloween hereafter, will be a Freaky Halloween.

 

PS: Oh, and the song?  C’mon, that synth bass? That chorus? This horn bag slangin’ it to this chick on Halloween? It’s a straight up Halloween sex song, and it’s incredible. Count Dracula, who sucked me dry? Get the fuck outta here. I love this shit. It’s so much more than I could have hoped.

Audio

Haunted House Rock

TRACK #371:

Haunted House Rock by
Cool Rock T and Daggy D

Our next tune is another Monster Rap from the absolutely Monster Rap-dominated year of 1987. In addition to the 9 (yes 9!) Freddy Krueger raps released in 1987, you’ve got the 2 songs we just posted, plus Gregory D’s Monster Booogie and Monster Rap Title Track juggernaut The Monster Squad.

That means tonights tune brings our grand total to 14 Monster Raps on the playlist that were released in 1987 alone. There’s also yet another one waiting in the Bullpen (feel free to click here if you find you’re too impatient for all that) making the true total 15!

And those are the ones that I’m aware of. There could be even more out there and I just haven’t hit the right search yet. So who knows.

Tonight’s ’87er comes from Cool Rock T and Daggy D, and it might sound a bit reminiscent of another…more famous…monster rap that you’re already familiar with, which is funny because the b-side to this single was called…Reminiscing.

This is another tune one that was sort of “lost” to the ages as the rip on YouTube right now is not the full song, and there didn’t seem to be any records floating around for sale. However, that was the case until a few months ago, when Monster Rap hero CCSchwiegert, listed this single on discogs.

Now, they listed it for $300 buck mind you, but to my amazement, they also posted a link to an audio sample of the record for potential buyers. And that sample? Yep, it was the entire fucking song. So, thank you CCSchweigert, you are an absolute legend. Sorry I didn’t kick you down the $300 bills, but owning a rare physical record simply  because it is rare isn’t necessarily important to me, particularly at that price. See Track #370.

Now, you may be wondering why you’ve never heard of Cool Rock T (better known as Robert Tingle) and Daggy D (also known as Deron Wilson) and it’s probably because they don’t appear to have any other credits to their names unfortunately. This seems to be it from the duo.

As derivative as it may be, I love this tune. I love this beat. I love the lyrics. I love the way they make fake cars sounds during the intro. It’s just awesome. I mean it’s 100% aping Whodini, but in the best possible way.

Besides, I’m pretty sure I vote for Haunted House of Rock as my favorite Monster Rap of all time, and at present, it appears to be the originator. So what better tune to ape?

Here it is. It’s not a Haunted House made of, or where to find Rock, but rather the kind of Rock that is for, or of, a Haunted House. Ya know, Haunted House Rock.

 

Audio

The Bride of Frankenstein Rap

TRACK #369:

The Bride of Frankenstein Rap by L7

Our next Shindigger here is from the band L7. No Rach, not that L7.

But wait, you say you’re not this “Rach,” and you’ve never heard of any band named L7? Oh, that’ll make this a bit easier then.

See, there was (evidentially anyway) an American Funk band by the name of L7. I call them Funk because this song is listed as being Funk and since it’s their only release, I guess that makes them a Funk band. I genuinely don’t know enough about the in’s and out’s of Funk to say whether or not this claim holds any water, but they might as well be Funk. Sounds Funky, anyway. They’re definitely not a Country band. And I wouldn’t call it this Metal. It’s certainly something. Funk is something. So, let’s go with them on Funk then.

Now, this precursory Funk iteration of L7 it’s  is best known for…well…this release. In fact, they’re only known for this release, cause it’s, ya know, their only release. And it’s a Funk release, and Frankenstein, which is always a plus around here.

The 12” Maxi-Single, The Bride of Frankenstein, contains 4 tracks, but essentially only 2 songs. There’s Mr. Boogie Bop, which gets the standard and instrumental treatment, and the title tune, The Bride of Frankenstein. That one gets the standard treatment as well, but also an extra-special “Rap” version. And I say extra-special because this single is from 1983, the very year I believe to be the birth of Monster Rap itself.

That year gave us Whodini’s Haunted House of Rock, Edgar Winter’s futuristic Frankenstein 1984 and now, The Bride of Frankenstein Rap. I’d say only one of these tunes is legitimately Rap, however. Can you guess which one?

Yep, it’s the only one not actually claiming to be Rap. Go figure there.

But while this song may not pass a street test, for us ‘Diggers lookin for Halloween tunes, you can’t ask for much better than this. It’s solid gold.

Dudes strapping some reasonable whack-simile of Rap onto an otherwise bizarre “Funk” tune and just running with it? Oh you know we’re all over this.

Apparently a guy in the graveyard (why he’s in this graveyard is anyone’s guess) meets a dancing corpse that claims to be The Bride of Frankenstein. At least she shows him a gravestone to that effect. Now, why The Bride of Frankenstein would have “Bride of Frankenstein” carved into her tombstone is also anyone’s guess, but here we are.

Then, all of sudden it’s Halloween and the Rap shows up. Nice! Now the guy is looking for the Bride of Frankenstein and he winds up at the Monster Club. Which isn’t a bad place to look for her really, so I get it. Does the actual song shed any light on these events?

No, not really.

I’ll say this, they are 2 separate songs. They’re pretty much the same song musically, but the lyrics are all different. This isn’t just L7’s The Bride of Frankenstein single with a Rap verse tacked on, and I can appreciate that.

In the original tune (which was perhaps a more fitting tune for the playlist, but oh well) our narrator is at a monster party where he meets a girl that he takes a liking to. However, he is warned, as he learns that she is the Bride of Frankenstein. Bummer for him I guess.

So, it’s kinda more dance-able, makes a bit more sense (albeit a very small bit) and is generally just a more regular tune. It definitely has less weird “mommmy mommy mommy” sounds, whatever the hell those are suppose to be, and that counts for something.

But that version of the song has no Rap (or whatever this is that is calling itself Rap) and it definitely doesn’t have any Halloween. So, when it comes to the playlist, we’re goin The Bride of Frankenstein Rap all day long on this one.

She can rock your mind.

 

Audio

Igor At Midnight

TRACK #368

Igor at Midnight by Cagé (Drac. E. “D”)

Our next Frankenstein adjacent track is the best kind of track; an 80’s Monster Rap.

This is a pretty rare tune it seems, and I had to ante up to catch this one. It wasn’t terribly expensive, but did take some waiting. Why this song isn’t in heavier rotation or found in more places online is beyond me.

So, we posted it up onto our YouTube channel DigTV a couple years back, as we wanted to get a clean copy out into the world asap.

But those things are fragile. Anything can get taken off YouTube at a moment’s notice and Lord knows I’m just waiting for Shindig Radio to get slapped with a cease and desist. So, we’re finally committing this one to the playlist, where it can hopefully have a second and long digital life, cause awesome vintage Monster Rap like Igor At Midnight, needs preserving.

This super referential and festive Electro Rap drops the names of everyone you’d expect, makes a reference to Halloween, and even includes a shout out to Thriller, a clear inspiration here for Cagé. I dunno bout that Darth Vader reference though, that one’s a little weird and random, but we’ll take it.

Once again, a huge shout out goes Werner Von Wallenrod and his Humble Little Hip Hop Vids for hipping me to this tune and sending me on the hunt.

From 1987, here’s the only release from Cagé (Drac. E. “D”), the extra halloweeny Igor At Midnight.

 

Audio

Scary Scary Movies

TRACK #349:

Scary Scary Movies by Ossie D. and Stevie G.

Cause what would the Shindig be if we only offered up one referential tune called “Scary Movies” from a referential horror movie about Horror Movies themselves?

I guess technically this one is called Scary Scary Movies, but that’s close enough for me, especially since it’s a Referentially Inclusive Monster Rap to boot.

From our old Prom Night pal Paul Zaza comes this tune, the sweet song from 1991’s horrorthon gone wrong, Popcorn.

Now, if you’re a keen eared viewer, a giant fan of Popcorn or you just happen to own this soundtrack, you’ll note that there actually is a song featured in the movie called Scary Movies. It’s briefly played and in front of the theater too, right before the horrorthon starts.

To be fair, it’s pretty much the same song, only it’s not a fun rap, and you know how we roll on The Shindig.

We’re using the term “rap” here pretty loosely, as you’ll hear, cause this thing ain’t droppin bars. In fact, it’s kinda difficult to listen to, but that’s never stopped us before and it probably never will when a certain set a circumstance arrives.

And all of those boxes are being ticked by this one;

From a horror movie? Check
About horror movies? Check
Fits the current block like a glove? Check
A monster rap? Goddamn right
A sweet song? Oh yeah

So here is where you’ll find it, no matter how it may sound.

Now, IMDb claims the song was written by Paul Zaza (the film’s composer) Yvonne Murray (another performer on the soundtrack) and Alan Ormsby (the film’s writer and original director.) Curiously though, the soundtrack credits only Paul Zaza and no one else. However, the film itself credits Alan Ormsby as its sole writer, with Ossie D. and Stevie G. as the song’s performers. Ossie and Stevie were a duo of prolific Reggae artists from Jamaica. They may very well be the band playing out front of the theater as well. If they were, which I suspect, they are uncredited for their performance.

Now, if that seems a little weird it’s probably because Popcorn was shot almost entirely on location in Kingston, Jamaica, and I’m sure they scooped up some locals to lend some tunes.

If you’ve never seen Popcorn (which isn’t so crazy, as this early 90’s slasher has somewhat fallen through the cracks) I highly recommend giving it a go. Certainly do not judge it by this song alone. If you’re a genre fan, the film department’s William Castle inspired horrorthon of in-theatre gags like Fright Form Waivers, Aroma-Rama and the Shock Clock countdown, is a definite treat.

Then there’s all prop building, life-casting, mask masking and movie theatre hokery that brings the horrorthon to life. Add to that the absolutely incredible crowd that shows up to the theatre. It’s a bevy of Don Post and Distortions mask and homemade costumes. It’s a blast and makes for great Halloween viewing.

Genre staples Jill Scholen, Dee Wallace, and Kelly Jo Minter are joined by the likes of Mr. Hand, Crispin Glover’s dad, and One Crazy Summer’s Clay Stork (in an inspired turned as the face-swapping Toby) all conspire to make this early 90’s offering a fun time.

It wouldn’t make a bad double feature with last night’s Return to Horror High either. So, pick up that one, grab some popcorn and kick back this October with the very Halloweeny Popcorn and enjoy some scary scary movies.

You know the kind I mean!

 

Audio

Monster Booogie

TRACK #316:

Monster Booogie by Gregory D and DJ Mannie Fresh

Speaking of dudes from our Freddy Raps episode and sampling classic horrors themes for raps beat…oh and recent questionable reboots of aging horror properties…oh and even Halloween, I guess, by way of Rob Zombie…

man, that’s a lot of tenuous connections for 2 songs to randomly have…

here comes an actual Referential Monster Rap in the form of Gregory D and Figgy Balls’ Love letter to The Munsters, Monster Booogie.

Now, why they didn’t just call this tune Munster Booogie is above my pay grade, but honestly that’s the only bone I have to pick with this track, because otherwise, it’s just the goods. Well, there’s is that one verse, but we’ll get to that.

Mannie Fresh twists up The Munster’s Theme into the kinda beat I wish every monster rap had, while Gregory D waxes nostalgic for the days of eating cereal and kickin’ it with the First Family of Fright.

They also spit barbs at The Addams Family, which for a song of this nature, feels right at home.

Then, there is that verse I spoke of earlier. Gregory D goes off on Eddie Munster a bit, and some words get thrown around. Now listen, we’ve laid into Eddie Munster ourselves, more specifically Butch Patrick for his crimes against music, but this is a bit of a different beast. Let’s just say he goes so far as to suggest Eddie Munster might prefer the company of men.

This bar-spanning gag which (in addition to being generally offensive to both Gays and Butch Patrick for a number of reasons) is a really weird joke to make considering the kid’s like 10 years old. But hey, I guess that’s just a little slice of 1987 for ya. Try to ignore it, if you can. If not, I’d understand.

Despite that, this is still a seriously referential tune though, with tons of great samples and a dope ass beat. It’s the kinda diamond in the rough you come across while looking for something else and then all you can do is sit back and bask in great weird wave of the universe.

So, instead of subjecting yourself to Rob’s Day-Glo prequel, just blast Gregory D and Mannie Fresh’s Monster Booogie, and then go enjoy a few episodes of the real thing while scarfing down a bowl of Frankenberry.

 

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Freddy Raps: The Playlist

From the beginning of 1987 to the end of 1988, at least 12 different Rap songs were created in honor of the Son of 100 Maniacs, such was Freddymania.

Compiled here (unfortunately) are only 11 of those songs. Hopefully the missing track, Triple Scoop and Jam Cutta’s He’s Back, will one day be added to this list. If I ever find a quality enough copy to include, that is.

In addition to the 9 songs featured on Monster Raps Pt. 3, we have included the extended versions of both Are you Ready for Freddy and A Nightmare on My Street. See Freddy’s other playlist if you’d like to hear the single versions.

Now, it’s time to face the music, with Rapmaster Freddy!

PLAYLIST UPDATE! (6.5.21)

Shortly after uploading, some kind soul posted a clean copy of Triple Scoop and Jam Cutta’s He’s Back to YouTube. Unfortunately, the show was without this track, but at least it found it’s true home here on the playlist.

Oh, who are we kidding, it’ll obviously make it onto Monster Raps Pt. 4. C’mon now.

PLAYLIST UPDATE! (1.30.23)

Though purchased some time ago, I managed to score a copy of Bit Bizzare’s Freddie’s Groove. I have updated the playlist to now include the complete version and that missing verse is as good as I’d have hoped. Feels good to finally get the whole track on here. Enjoy! I will upload it to YouTube as well soon.

Additionally, in that time span, I also procured a copy of Stevie B’ s Nightmare on Freddy Krugger Street. I have also update that version from the crummy YouTube rip to a much nicer pull from the original vinyl. The playlist is now complete…

…for now.

Audio

Nightmare on Rhyme Street

TRACK #299

Nightmare on Rhyme Street by Krushin MC’s

Though we uncovered 10 and featured 9 different Freddy related rap songs on Monster Raps Pt. 3, none stood out as much as Krushin MC’s Nightmare on Rhyme Street. As such, it’s getting thrown in the mix ahead of the pack.

But why is it that this song (at least as far as I’m concerned anyway) is so much better than all the rest?

Well, I think it’s 3 fold.

First and foremost, I think it sounds the least 80’s of the group. A strange stance for me to take, I know, but hear me out.

This is a track that feels a bit ahead of its time. The flow has a much smoother and rhythmic cadence than it’s brethren. Additionally, it’s packing a lot of lyrics into a tight bar. At a time when the other Freddy rappers were still drawing out sparse lyrics to match slower beats, the Krushin MC’s effortlessly flow with a tempo that feels more like something from the 90’s, and a good deal less silly.

Second is this beat, which also feels ahead of its time. Without aping the actual theme, it captures the vibe of A Nightmare on Elm Street with a downbeat and downright sinister bass line. While none of these songs are what I’d call dark, this one has the darkest tone of the bunch, which makes it feel less at odds with the subject matter.

Now, there’s something to be said and appreciated with these Freddy Raps in the juxtaposition of an upbeat rap songs about a homicidal and, most likely, pedophilic murderer turned dream demon. Freddy’s actual album, Freddy’s Greatest Hits, being perhaps chief among this strange intersection of digestible pop and disturbing subtext. But there’s also something to be said of treating this material, at least in respect to its sound, as what it is – a horrifying concept.

Now, the Krushin MC’s aren’t going that far with it. I mean this is still a song where a guy battle raps a Freddy wearing a glove with 5 microphones on it, but at least is sounds kinda appropriate.

Which bring me to the 3rd reason this song a is superior Freddy rap – it’s lyrical content.

Krushin MC’s pack a lot more, and a lot better, references to the films than their contemporaries. You got the aforementioned golden mic glove, the muddy steps, the tongue coming out an inanimate object, the girls jumping rope, the peeling of Freddy skin to reveal his brain and even Dream Warriors’ method of Freddy disposal.

Among a crew of dude who reference the same damn line from Freddy’s Revenge, lazily rhyme the numbers of the films, and even have Freddy potentially pulling has ass out at the beach, Krushin MC’s feeling like goddamn Nightmare on Elm Street scholars.

Now, those song’s’ll potentially all wind up here eventually, given enough time, but for my money, only the Krushin MC’s Nightmare on Rhyme Street deserves express service.

 

Audio

Monster Raps: Mini-Playlist

In 1983, Michael Jackson released his landmark, groundbreaking and absolutely dominating album, Thriller.

It’s eponymous track featured the incomparable Vincent Price delivering what they called the “Thriller Rap.” Though not exactly what we’ve come to know as “Rap” it is oft cited as the catalyst for the genre I affectionately refer to as Monster Rap.

These are Rap songs exclusively about monsters or created specifically for various horror films, with their title characters or plots at the forefront.

Shortly thereafter Thriller, and perhaps even as a direct result, Whodini released what I think of as the original Monster Rap, The Haunted House of Rock, a bit of early 80’s hip-hop goodness that plays like the Rap version of the Monster Mash.

As Rap began to penetrate pop-culture in the mid 80’s, seemingly everyone decided the best commercial move was to make everything rap. Naturally, horror icons and monsters were not left out of that equation.

Now, collected here in chronological order, are all the Monster Raps currently featured on The Halloween Shindig playlist.

Kick it.

 

Audio

Creature Feature

TRACK #298:

Creature Feature by Uptown Express

If Monster Raps Pt. 3: Freddy’s Revenge has already aired (and you’ve listened to it) then you may be aware of a guy I referenced on that episode named Werner Von Wallenrod.

Werner has a crazy informative website called The Humble Little Hip-Hop Blog. I stumbled across it while researching last night’s Monster Rap entry and what I got in return was so much more.

In addition to the veritable boiler room of previously unknown (to me anyway) Freddy related rap songs, here’s another addition that I have to chalk up to Werner as well.

From 1984, right on the heels of (and perhaps as a result of) Whodini’s Haunted House of Rock, comes Uptown Express’ Creature Feature.

Now, like I’ve been saying all season it seems, there isn’t much info floating around on Uptown Express. They only released a few tunes over a couple years, of which Creature Feature is perhaps their most prominent.

A cavalcade of monsterdom, this one uses the title of Screen Gem’s second package of horror movie classics that were released into syndication to local television stations in the early 60’s. This, of course, gave birth to the Horror Hosts of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. The original Shock! package featured mostly old Universal Classics, but the Creature Features packaged upped the ante with all manner of cheeseball Sci-Fi, Hammer Classics, Asian Kaiju and 60’s monster freakouts.

Like Shock!, the package was sent all over the country and many markets had their own “Creature Features” labeled programs with the requisite spooky host. Perhaps the most famous, however, was Bob Wilkin’s wry and straight-face take on San Francisco’s KTVU.

If you’ve ever seen this picture floating around Instagram, that’s Bob, cold chillin, classed-out in front of his now ubiquitous sign.

To keep things nice and referential, we’ve led the track in with Bob’s 70’s era theme song performed by Beauregarde and The Poppers.

So let’s all keep America strong, and listen to this upbeat and fun loving tune from the birth of Monster Rap, Creature Feature.

There’s no need to fear, it’s as harmless as your teacher…

 

Audio

Frankenstein 1984 (Monster Rap)

TRACK #297:

Frankenstein 1984 (Monster Rap) by Edgar Winter

Have you ever thought to yourself…

“Man, I really love that Edgar Winter’s Frankenstein, but I just wish it had more synths, ya know? Like some newer synths…and maybe even a drum machine, yeah! And hey, what if it had some lyrics too, ya know, instead of being an instrumental? And dude, the lyrics could really be about Frankenstein, so it would actually be a real monster song! And oh shit, what if Edgar himself, weirdo, freaky 70’s looking, literal-ass whitest dude ever was rappin’ all over the motherfucker?”

Well my friend, have I got some good news for you today, courtesy of Edgar Winter’s very own Frankenstein 1984.

Yep.

Now, why Edgar decided to update Frankenstein, I couldn’t say.  I wasn’t able to find any interviews with him talking about this particular version. But my guess is, Edgar is a pretty experimental guy. The original Frankenstein was the first ever #1 hit to heavily feature a synthesizer. And Edgar is perhaps the inventor of what we think of today as a keytar, as he was the first one to strap the ARP2600’s keyboard around his neck.

As synthesizer technology and their use in popular music grew over the decade or so following this hit, I’m sure Edgar wanted to take another stab at it and incorporate more electronic instrumentation.

Now, why…in addition to this…Edgar decided to remix a slightly different version of the song and then rap over the top of it…that’s about anyone’s guess. As we’ve reckoned many times here on The Shindig before, Rap was starting to emerge as a legitimate musical force and in those early days, everybody decided to take swing.

So let’s thank Edgar Winter for deciding to throw his hat in the ring and take a song with dubious connections to both Halloween and Frankenstein himself and turn it into the full-blown epic Monster Rap we always wished it could be.

He even went so far as to call it the Monster Rap version. 

Legend.

 

 

 

 

 

Audio

The Beast Within

TRACK #259:

The Beast Within by Perry Monroe, Mike Pasqualini and Asbestos Felt

Next up is The Beast Within, another solid Title Track from 1982…

..,is what I would be saying if this song was actually from the film The Beast Within and not confusingly from Tim Ritter’s 1986 fever dream Killing Spree.

If you’ve ever seen Killing Spree, than you might recall that most of the music is practically note for note homages to John Harrison’s Creepshow score. And they sound good, too. I wonder if composer Perry Monroe had an actual Prophet 5 on hand.

No matter though, because wrapping up this bawdy and almost Shakespearean tale of paranoia and deadly misunderstandings, is the aforementioned Beast Within.

It may not be a Title Track, but someone must have hipped Tim to the next best move, cause this Rock ‘N Roll Sweet Song 180’s into a full on Monster rap, complete with a highly detailed plot summary. Yeah, you bet.

It’s also predictably spit in that hard, racially appropriative fashion of the late 80’s, by none other than the films lead, the curiously named Asbestos Felt! Check him out.

But don’t judge this book by its title alone. Judge it by its cover. Then, go ahead judge it by its contents, and then come back and rejudge it by its a title, cause all 3 are working perfectly in tandem to deliver exactly what you’d imagine.

Felt is all-in here and his maniacal expressions and glorious performance are much of what make Killing Spree such a joy to behold. I love this guy, and wish he had more films to his credit.

So, let’s enjoy some low-budget 16mm 80’s backyard madness with the boys from Killing Spree. Here’s The Beast Within.

 

Audio

Lost In Time

TRACK #253:

Lost In Time by LA Posse

If you told me you thought Waxwork 2: Lost In Time was a bunch of foolishness, I’d have to concede that yes, it is quite silly. At times even annoyingly so.

However, I would then have to counter with “Ok, yeah, but it’s also pretty awesome.”

If, as a horror fan, you are not enamored (at least somewhat) but it’s loving horror parodies, I might have to revoke your nerd card.

From the awesome Aliens send-up with its fantastic creature FX from Bob Keen’s Image Animation, to the Bruce Campbell-anchored William Castle-meets-Evil Dead Haunted House spoof, it’s a treat for any horror fan.

Yeah, maybe the Mideavel segment overstays it’s welcome a little, but even that has some awesome imagery spread throughout. And director Anthony Hickock still manages to find time to spoof Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Nosferatu, Dawn of the Dead and Invasion of the Body Snatchers. C’mon now. It’s just fun.

They even nick the end of Back to the Future 2 for some reason. Kinda weird really, but no less fun.

And what’s more? Oh yeah, they wrap it all up with a Monster Rap Sweet Song. Bonus.

This By-Line Title Track from Muffla and Big Dad of the L.A. Posse might not be the finest example of the sub-genre (admittedly, it’s a little  on the dull side of hype) but it’s better than some of the other turkeys on this list and it definitely comes correct with an extremely detailed plot synopsis.

Mark ain’t a mark

Cause Mark got heart

But Mark won’t stop

Cause Mark is a part

Of the mystery

Back and forth through history

Gold plated.

So hang out with Billy from Gremlins, Bruce Campbell, that one dude from Die Hard, Rex Manning, Deanna Troi, perpetual on-screen bum Buck Flowers (for a second anyway) and all your favorite monsters, and get Lost In Time…

Ya know, like a bug in a jar.

 

Audio

Addams Family (Whoomp!)

TRACK #252:

Addams Family (Whoomp!) by Tag Team

We’re gonna keep the Golden Raspberry theme goin here for a sec with a song I’ve actively avoided adding to the playlist since 2013, when we had a whole block of Addams Family tunes.

Much like Hammer’s Too Legit with A Little Bit of Peppa (For My Chicken), Miami-Bass duo Tag Team repackage their preexisting hit Whoomp! (There It Is) for the 1993 sequel Addams Family Values.

Despite the general consensus that this song is a complete pile of auditory bullshit, I rather like Addams Family (Whoomp!), as can be cross referenced on Shindig Radio Ep. 4: Monster Raps Pt. 2.

I think the verses are clever, well spit and highly referential. It even refers to itself as the movie’s theme song. That’s a solid play for a song of this nature. And quite frankly, it should have come loaded with a full-on fucking spoiler alert, cause it details the entire plot of this film. It’s a movie theme to the max.

And I get it, maybe it seems lazy just taking your own song and moving some words around and calling it a day. But honestly, its just a sound maneuver to keep the money train on the tracks from a pair of “alleged” rip-off artists who didn’t have a hell of a lot going on outside of Whoomp!

Yeah, you read that right. I referred to them rip-off artists, come at me. Since no one actually seems to have Tag Team’s back except me, I shouldn’t experience any sort of backlash from such a bold assertion. However, I will indulge a small detour here to clarify my statement for those unfamiliar with the sordid backstory concerning Tag Team‘s original #2 peaking hit, Whoomp (There It Is.)

The year was 1993. The month? March. Jacksonville’s Miami Bass trio 95 South just released their hit, Whoot! There It Is! Things are looking good for 95 South. The world is their oyster.

That is until May of 1993, when a curious tune titled, Whoomp! There It Is!, from the Atlanta Georgia duo Tag Team hit the charts like an overhand right from Riddick Bowe.

95 South, goes “Da fuck? What is this bullshit? This song sounds exactly our song. I mean, exactly. Listen to that chorus!”

Tag Team’s DC Brain Supreme claims the phrase was popular in Atlanta strip clubs and they just grabbed it up and put on in wax, suggesting any similarity in the cadence of the chorus being dictated by the phrase itself.

Carlos Spencer of 95 South, however, tells the story just a little bit differently.

He says they recorded their track at Atlanta’s Digital Edge Studio. Shortly after that, they gave the track to a local DJ to see if he would spin it at the club. That DJ? You guessed it. DC Brain Supreme.

And the plot thickens. Seems DC Brain Supreme knew the cats over at Digital Edge, where they were using a newfangled computer program to make records. It was called Pro Tools, maybe you’ve heard of it.

It’s Spencer’s assertion that DC and Steve Roll’n just went in there and laid their own vocals over the track 95 South had already produced.

Snap.

Either way, it seems Tag Team changed the song just enough. They used some different samples and eschewed the raunchier, sex-based lyrics for a more commercial, party-like tone.

And just like that, 95 South’s track is buried under the rubble of a more intelligible, less sexualized and altogether more mainstream-friendly crossover hit.

Despite Spencer’s claims however, there was never much outward animosity between the 2 groups. They even appeared together in July of that year on The Arsenio Hall Show, where they battled it out for “There It is” supremacy.

For 95 cents a pop, viewers at home could call-in and vote on which group they liked more. That night, it was 95 South that walked away with the crown. Very judicial.

The Billboard Hot 100 Chart tells a different tale however, with Tag Team’s Whoomp! reaching number #2 and staying in the top 10 for an unprecedented 24 non-consecutive weeks. It would become the longest running Top 10 song of all time, a place it held until 1997, when Toni Braxton’s Unbreak My Heart went to 25. Snap again. To date, Whoomp! has sold over 3.5 million copies.

Whoot! There It Is? Well, it never got passed #11. That’s still pretty pretty good, but one can’t help but wonder what that number might look like if Whoomp! didn’t come in hot, stealing all it’s thunder, and potentially confusing consumers, who may have even preferred Whoot! and unwitting purchased Whoomp!

It’s not all sour grapes for the “Bass Mechanics” CC Lemonhead and Jay Ski though, the duo responsible from producing Whoot!. They had 2 other hits with separate groups, hits that you may even be familiar with . One was with the 69 Boyz track called the Tootsie Roll. The other was The Quad City DJ’s C’Mon N Ride It (The Train.) And that’s not to mention their crowning achievement, the 1996 Title Track Space Jam. Eat that shit, Tag Team.

But of course, Tag Team edges out 95 South here in one small, but very important way; they segued pop dominance into Monster Rap gold. No small potatoes around these parts.

So with that being said, Halloween Shindig presents The Golden Raspberry’s Worst Song from a Film 1993 and Mikey Rotella’s pick for worst Monster Rap of all time, it’s Tag Team’s Addams Family (Whoomp!)

This song’s for the movie and the dance floor!

 

Audio

Here I Am

TRACK #251:

Here I Am by Elvira

Since we seem to be hearing a lot from Shindig members we haven’t seen in a while this year, let’s welcome back That Gal in Black Who Keeps Coming Back, Elvira.

Yep, it’s been about 4 years since The Shindig’s gotten a hitter from Casandra Peterson’s beloved horror icon. To be fair though, we front-loaded this playlist with a ton of Elvira, so giving ourselves a chance to cool off has been helpful.

By 1988, Elvira had burst from the confines of local Los Angeles late-night Television and into homes across the nation with guest appearances on shows like CHiPS, The Fall Guy and endorsements with companies like Coors Light.

However, that was the year Elvira made the great leap from the small screen to the silver screen with Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, a film she co-wrote herself with disembodied Pee-Wee’s Playhouse head, Jambi!

It’s a fun piece of 80’s horror camp that’s very entertaining, with some great special FX work and Elvira at her double entendre-delivering best.

After being sexually harassed by her station’s new owner, Elvira quits her job. Then, she finds out her Great Aunt Morgana died and left her a giant old house! So, she moves to Massachusetts to receive that inheritance.

Unfortunately, the town’s uppity constituency of conservative buttinskis don’t like the cut of her jib.  This doesn’t stop Every Tricker’s Treat from indulging in a montage to fix up the old mansion or host a late-night horror fest at the local movie palace. Eventually she gets accused of Witchcraft and almost gets burned at the stake!

All’s well that ends well for Elvira though, as she ultimately uses her inheritance to finance a life-long dream of starring in a lavish Las Vegas show; an occupation Casandra herself actually held at a rather young age.

I do regret to inform you, dear readers, that our beloved Casandra was nominated by those despicable cretins at the Golden Raspberry Committee, for worst actress 1989! Can you believe such a thing?

The good news is she lost to Liza Minnelli for a double-dose of dreafull performances in Arthur 2: On the Rocks and Rent-A-Cop. Still, I can’t believe Casandra was even nominated. Really? It’s a character, and a singular one at that. God, I really think I hate those Razzie fucks.

At any rate, Here I Am is the song she performs in that lavish Vegas show. And while it’s a tad short of my liking, it eventually evolves into a full on Monster Rap, which more than makes up for it’s brevity, in my opinion.

Since the very end of the song has no lyrics, due to Elvira beginning her famous tassel-swinging dance, I’ve included a gif of said dance, to fill the void.This is a dance, I’m proud to say, that I finally got to see Casandra perform live back in 2017, which was the farewell season of her famous, 21-year running Halloween stage show at Knottsberry Farm.

Here she is…Elvira!

 

Audio

The Haunted House of Rock: Mini-Playlist

Ok. So, now that I do have a record player, I can finally spin my previously only decorative copy of Whodini’s 12″ 45 for The Haunted House of Rock.

What does that mean for you, dear readers? Why a mini-playlist, of course!

Here, for your listening pleasure, are the 4 different versions of The Haunted House of Rock on offer from that single, including the exceedingly spooked-out Vocoder version.

For the uninitiated, a Vocoder is something you’re familiar with even if you aren’t familiar with the term.

Developed throughout the ’30s by Homer Dudley for Bell Labs, it was first unleashed to the public at the 1939 World’s Fair in New York.

It’s essentially a device that synthesizes human speech. It analyzes the source (your voice) and assigns different parts of that signal to different frequency bands. On the other side, a a series of band-pass filter reproduces those frequencies and, with the  help of an envelope follower, creates a robotic facsimile of your voice.

Initially, it was intended to reduce the bandwidth of vocal information for transmission over long distances. Problem was, it kind of sucked at reproducing the human voice convincingly. Too creepy.

Since that sort of thing never stops the United States Military, they put it to use during WWII to encrypt voice messages. See, without the proper frequency band information on the other end, the enemy could not decode that messages. Pretty neat.

However, thanks to several industrious souls, the vocoder soon found its way into the hands of musicians. Not the least of those souls were legendary synth builder Bob Moog and equally legendary synth user Wendy Carlos.

The musical incarnation works a bit differently, but it uses the same principle. Your voice is analyzed and then reproduced by the band-pass filters, but in this case, a “carrier” is sent through that filter as well, like the notes of a synthesizer. This allows you to alter the pitch of that robotic voice and create something altogether more interesting and musical.

Think Earth Wind and Fire’s Let’s Groove Tonight, Michael Jackson’s PYT,  Daft Punks Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, or (the ultimate example, if you ask me) the evil Decepticon Soundwave on the Transformers cartoon.

Used abusively throughout the 80’s by all all different genres, its has the unmistakable sound of a decade. Here, in modulated grandeur, Whodini asks…

Is this what you wanted?

Something funky and haunted?

To which I reply…

Yep.

Also of interest on the single is an Acapella version, which is kind of fun to hear and a Haunted Mix, which is mostly an instrumental track. There’s also a version which claims to be extended, but sounds no different to me than the version already present on Halloween Shindig.

Either way, it all adds up to the a spooky good time any fan of this song should definitely enjoy.

If you don’t wanna party, take your dead ass home!

 

Audio

Scream

TRACK #226:

Scream by Ice MC

All right. So I think we can all agree He’s Coming Back is a pretty bad Monster Rap.

I mean, it’s a Good Monster Rap, in that it’s a prime example of what these songs are all about and how that usually just goes terribly awry. But it is not a Good Monster Rap. Dig?

So, in an effort to redeem the Monster Rap genre (if that’s even feasible or worthy of attempt) we present to you Scream by Ice MC.

If you’re not familiar with Ice MC, please do not feel the least bit bad. This is no deficiency on your part.

Mostly likely this is because you’re either:

  1. An American.
  2. Not listening to Raggamuffin rap and/or
  3. A regular person doing regular things and not wasting what short time we have on this planet associating with shit like Scream by Ice MC. And I don’t blame you. I sometimes wish I was just that sort of person doing just those sorts things, whatever they may be.

In fact, I was that person until last week. Well, I was those first 2 types of people, anyway. Still an American too. Still not listening to any Ragamuffin rap, either. However, I do know what it is now and I have heard this song and I am quite presently wasting all kinds of precious time with it. But I digress.

I was definitely not familiar with this song until last week. That’s when Shindig super enthusiast and research beast Devin Connors hipped me to this track. And within about 30 seconds I knew he’d discovered gold.

What Ice MC has created here is a more approachable and less Faygo-drenched associative Monster Rap than a similarly themed example from another ice-based rapper.

Ice MC sets his sights and weird British accent to referencing several horror movies amidst the heavy electronic back beat and sample-stuffed rhythms of the Raggamuffin sound; a subset of Dancehall and Reggae music where sampling forms the backbone of the melody.

What unfolds is something somewhat unique in the Monster Rap game; A song strangely catchy, somewhat legitimately fun and yet laughably ridiculous. Boardering on bad while flirting with good, this song rests in a limbo not entirely either.

Run DMC’s Ghostbusters is too crafted to be thought silly. The Chucky Song too white and corporate to be considered real. Or something like last night’s He’s Coming Back, which is a bit too tedious to be genuinely enjoyed.

Scream appears more akin to something like Lovebug Starski’s Amityville or DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince’s Nightmare on My Street: completely independent, straight outta left field, eminently listenable and Shindig as fuck.

So thank you Devin for this wonderful new addition, though mine may be the only thanks you’ll receive.

A few side notes:

  1. Yes, that’s Aliens’ Ripley he refers to as Sgt. Weaver.
  2. No, I’m not sure why he does that.
  3. No, I also don’t know what the hell pumpkin on the telly he’s referring to from Halloween. I assume the credits
  4. I won’t spoil the elephant in the middle of this song, but it’s great, and you’ll know it when you hear it. Enjoy.
  5. And yes, he does say that. Several times.

 

 

Audio

He’s Coming Back

TRACK #225:

He’s Coming Back by Chris LeVrar

While attempting to pull some samples from Repossessed for its Title Track, I naturally stumbled across this end credit oddity, which can only be called a gem when you host a playlist like the one I’ve constructed here.

A highly referential Monster Rap Sweet Song? Oh, this is going on the playlist for sure, I don’t care how bad it is.

That this is my knee jerk reaction is a bit of a shame, because this song is bad. And I mean it’s bad, so I apologize for that.

So bad in fact, that you happen to be looking at the proud recipient of 1990’s Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Song from a Motion Picture.

I hope you all can understand and appreciate it’s inclusion. My compulsive need to include inclusive (and referential) Monster Raps Sweet Songs prevents me from treating this thing objectively, or considering your overall enjoyment of this playlist. But my hope is you can at least see why, when stumbling upon something of this nature, it has to be included.

Well, either way I apologize.

In fairness, the verses aren’t so bad. It’s really the chorus here that’s dragging this whole track down. But lyrically, you’re getting a heaping helping of allusions to the film, plenty of bizarro lines and a rhyme structure that is off-center, to say the least.

Not helping matters is it’s length. It’s crazy to me to think Repossessed had enough credits to sustain a 4 minute song. For real? That many heads on Repossessed? They must roll at an unnaturally slow pace, cause I don’t know what the hell all those people were doing.

I will say, I wish I had rediscovered this thing earlier so we could have had the chance to really dig into this one on our Monster Raps episodes. Oh well. Perhaps we’ll amass enough new Monster Raps to warrant a Part 3. Fingers crossed.

In closing, I do hope that somewhere, someone listening to this playlist actually likes this song. Or at the very least, appreciates the necessity of it’s inclusion, because I’m fairly sure they’ll be the only one.

 

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Episode 4: Monster Raps Pt. 2

Speakin’ and thinkin’ about the Monster Raps…

Rejoin Graham C. Schofield, Mikey Rotella and Ed Twilley as they delve further than anyone asked into the Shindig sub-category nobody likes: MONSTER RAPS!

Covering the span from 1988 to 2011, they touch on everything from rappin’ peck Warwick Davis to Monster Rap juggernaut Ghostbusters 2 on an odyssey of poor rhymes, questionable beats and rampant commercialism.

But they don’t want to hurt anyone, they just like to have…fun.

Chicken.

Audio

Episode 3: Monster Raps Pt.1

In this episode Ed, Mikey and Graham dig deep into the playlist and explore it’s most divisive sub-catergory: MONSTER RAPS!

What are these mysterious curiosities that push the limits of taste and patience?

Are they classic horror-hits, or whack commercial cash-grabs?

Part 1 focuses on 1983 through 1988 covering everything from Whodini’s trendsetting Haunted House of Rock to DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince’s A Nightmare On My Street.

Just take a left, then take a right and….Shindig Radio!