Oh yeah? Big Eric, huh? So, what’s this guy’s deal?
Well, let’s start with that name. “Big Eric “ appears to be a one-off pseudonym used by German artist Eric Billinghurst specifically for this track.
But Eric Billinghurst is better know throughout Germany as Bill Hurst, a standard issue AOR style rocker who produced 2 albums including the (apparently quite rare) 1982 release, Ice Cold Calculation. That fucker’s going for over 200 buck right now on Discogs. This is a shame because it contains a track called Horror that I’d love to investigate. Is it a different take on this song? Is it some other referential rock rarity? Who knows? Not us. Well, at least not yet anyway. That’s fuck off dollars from something I ain’t heard before. I’m hesitant to buy the Critters LPs that are goin for half that much, and the playlist needs a cleaner copy of that song pronto. But Ice Cold Calculation is in our sights, so we’ll keep you posted.
Until then, we can satisfy our Bill Hurst fix with Horror Ball, a peculiar Discoish tune that doubles as a fun play on words.
This one’s a bit silly, but that’s never been a problem around here, and it’s got a good groove, which is always a plus.
On top of that, it’s giving you what you need. All the Monsters you want getting shouted out to an infection disco beat.
And look at the cover to this thing! That’s just plain old fashion monster awesome.
So let’s get some horror going with Big Eric, shall we?
Now, there’s a ton of this kinda old timey Monster Rock ‘N Roll, but I don’t add it to the playlist that often. It’s monstery, sure, but something about it always feels a little off, like they could be singing about any old thing. There’s nothing distinctly spooky or festive about it most of the time.
There’s even a similar tune to tonight’s inclusion titled The Mummy’s Ball by The Verdicts that I removed from this block of balls for just that reason.
But Screaming Ball has a few things going for it that help it make the cut.
First and foremost, I dig this tune. It swings.
Secondly, from what I can tell, this is the very first pop song to actually reference Dracula. At least in the title, anyway.
Thirdly, it’s a pretty referential tune. In fact,The Duponts even have a similarly structured reference to Spike Jone’s Ball-Tune, only The Duponts make The Thing from Another World do The Stroll instead of a Mole Person. But both of them do reference the Thing.
And lastly, it’s from The Duponts, whom were also know as Little Anthony and the DuPonts, after the main vocalist, Anthony Gourdine.
But The Duponts weren’t the only crew associated with a Little Anthony, as Anthony Gourdine is also the Little Anthony of Little Anthony and The Imperials fame, best known from their hits like Tears on My Pillow and I Think I’m Going Out of My Head.
In 2009, Little Anthony and his Imperials were all inducted into the Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame, and any time you can add a Hall of Famer to the roster, you should probably just do it.
And dammit if I don’t just love idea of a future Hall of Famer his cuttin’ his teeth on some forgotten old novelty monster record. What’s cooler than that?
Well, it’s also a Mysterioso Pizzicato offender. How do you like that? Another one for the fire, boys.
So let’s all having a scream ball over at Dracula hall. C’mon, it’s a horror party!
Speaking of Jack and Jim, here’s another duo knockin’ out some more old time Monster Roll for ya.
Clifton Nivison and Martin Fulterman (the Clif and Marty here, respectively) were both former members of The New York Rock and Roll Ensemble. As it happens, they’re also former members of Former Members of The New York Rock Ensemble, but that’s a separate and confusing matter involving Opal Records selling a bunch of their music without Clif or Marty’s knowledge.
The Rock Ensemble were a group of Juilliard music students who decided to bust out some Rock ‘N Roll using conventional orchestral instruments. A novel concept at the time, to be sure.
After releasing 5 albums over the course of 6 years, The Rock Ensemble parted ways. Seems Clif and Marty were disillusioned with the Ensemble’s lack of commercial success, and signed with Specter Records/Opal Productions in order to make some career headway.
At Opal, Clif and Marty acted as a kind of utility duo, recording demos, writing music for other acts and releasing tunes under various pseudonyms.
And their single, Monster Movies, appears to have been just that kind of assignment.
Now, why Opal Records would assign these 2 guys some novelty Monster song in 1972 is anyone’s guess. What was the temperature on Monster Songs in ‘72? Hell, I couldn’t tell ya, cause the only other Track on Halloween Shindig from 1972 is Edgar Winter’sFrankenstein, and that’s definitely not a novelty monster song. In fact, ‘66 through ‘73 is a pretty barren wasteland for that kinda stuff, at least as far as this playlist is concerned anyway.
Now, that’s not to say the public wasn’t hungry for Monster Songs in ‘72, it just means there aren’t any that I’ve found or found and enjoyed enough to add to a 300+ rooster of songs which pretty much meet that exact specification. Just saying.
Regardless of how the 45-buying folks of 1972 felt, this is a fun and referential jam which goes so far as to specifically declare its love, not just for Godzilla, but directly to him, as though he might be out there somewhere in the South Pacific listening. Now, I gotta give that kinda thing just a little bit of love myself.
Outside of The Ensemble, and this particular single, I can’t suss out much about our boy Clifton, but Martin Fulterman is a bit of a different story.
See, Martin apparently changed his name to Mark Snow and went on to compose music for an almost absurd amount of Films, TV movies and shows. The most notable of his creations, no doubt, has got to be the famous X-Files Theme.For real? Ole Monster Movie Marty? Pretty snazzy lineage attached to a 40 year old novelty song.
Other Mark Snow projects of note (to me anyway) include Ernest Saves Christmas, Dolly Dearest, Project ALF, Skateboard, TJ Hooker and even Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. And let me tell you, that’s cutting the list real short.
Mark Snow has composed, written songs for or worked on the music department of more shit than you’d believe. Over 350 different credits, including some ridiculous sounding TV movie called Ghosts Can’t Do It, which sounds like some PG-rated Lifetime version of Hellraiser that somehow features our 45th President himself, Mr. Donald Trump.
I’ll just leave you with that as we drop the needle on Clif and Marty’s lone 45, Monster Movies.
We said we’re diggin’ deep and clearing out the bullpen in 2023, so here’s a Halloween compilation staple that’s been kicking around for longer than I can remember.
I’m glad I waited though, since last year’s Halloween Ends turned this Referential Monster dinger into a full blown Inclusive jam.
And much like Pete Antell’s It’s Halloween,Jack and Jim’s classic Midnight Monsters Hop is the best thing going for Halloween Ends and it’s literally the first minute and a half of the film.
Seriously, you can stop watching after this song ends. In fact, you could just listen to this, which features the opening dialogue with the entire tune, and probably have a more satisfying time than wading through that fan-fic grade afterthought jerk-off session they tried to pass off as the ultimate bookend to a legendary 40-year-old Horror saga. Hell, H20 is a more satisfying conclusion to the whole affair than that turd.
But I digress, cause we got this song. A bonafide Halloween jammer from 1959. Yep, you read that right. 3 years before Boris Pickett unveiled his own swinging Monster Party, Jack and Jim were laying the groundwork for monster get-togethers everywhere.
However, Bert Convy still has ‘em all beat, and no doubt provided inspiration to both, with his 1958 cut simply titled The Monsters Hop.
Credit where it’s due though, cause I think Jack and Jim here are serving up probably the swingingest tune of the bunch. It’s used to great effect in Halloween Ends too, actually tricking you into thinking you’re about to watch something cool. No such luck.
We’ve led it in, of course, with hometown hero Willy the Kid on WURG The Urge… Haddonfield’s home for rock!
You gotta love it when a horror movie gives you some solid DJ action, and Willy gets it good to The Cramp’sI Was a Teenage Werewolf. At least, I guess he gets it good. As good as that turkey is giving anyway. Unfortunately, he’s a little underutilized in the story and his death scene feels like it’s ripped from some other movie. Some movie you might rather be watching.
At least compared to the one you’ve been watching. I’m not sure the movie on display at WURG is worth watching either, but at least Michael’s not getting slapped around in a cave by some dildo who been getting bullied by a bunch of high school band dorks. A shame really, what they did to Michael.
And not just in Halloween Ends either (though perhaps the most undignified) but the whole damn lot of it, all the way down the line. From making him Laurie’s brother, to bringing him back from complete incineration, to positing him as some sort of Druid-curse vessel, to making his mask CG, to letting Busta Rhymes karate kick him out a window on a reality show, to making him some generic bullying victim with a white trash stripper mom.
It’s unfortunate that Michael couldn’t have been left to just wander off into the Halloween night, never to be seen again. Now there’s a reconned remakequel I could get behind.
Oh well, at least we got the 1st minute or so of Halloween Ends, featuring this classic monster tune from a duo who, like I so wish I could say for Michael Myers, we never heard from again.
My quest to find more and more Monstery Halloween songs for this playlist has gotten to point where I have to dig a little deeper than usual.
Anymore nowadays, the songs I’m coming across aren’t always readily available. This has lead to me hunting down and purchasing some rarer records without the benefit of hearing them first.
This has been pretty fun though. In an age where virtually any song you can imagine is easily accessible somewhere virtually, it’s added a bit of excitement back into discovering music. Waiting for a video to pop up randomly, or for someone to post a record for sale, or simply waiting for that record to arrive feels akin to something from a bygone era.
Now, that can also be frustrating too, because if a song isn’t streaming on music services, and no one has posted it on YouTube, there’s a good chance it’s also not available for sale either. So now I just got a pile of potential additions and Lord knows if I’ll ever be able to hear ‘em.
But there’s also been plenty of occasions where, despite not being digitized somewhere (or somewhere easily searchable) a physical copy is still available to purchase. As you might imagine though, this has lead to some disappointments. Such is the gamble. It’s much easier when someone has already posted whatever song it is I’m looking for to YouTube so I can easily disregard it or snatch it up at no personal time or monetary expense.
But that’s the fun.
And when it pays off, it’s definitely worth it.
And then, you write all of that, and during a cursory bit of information gathering while finalizing the post, you type the name of that song into a Google search and find out that not only was the song posted to YouTube 8 fucking years ago, but it was posted by the song’s goddamn author and singer.
Such is the case with our 2023 opener, The Night of the Monster’s Party from The Monsters.
What the fuck, YouTube? Not one time did your internal search pull this video. Not once! And across many pages. Trust me, I kept clicking.
But a simple Google search (so simple in fact I can’t believe I hadn’t done it until that moment) pulls that shit up as the first goddamn hit!? You’re owned by goddamn Google, you piece of shit.
So, rather than the line,
“It still seems wild to me that I had to purchase this 45 to be able to hear this tune.“
which I had written,
I now need to type something stupid like;
“It’s wild to me that I went through the entire process of finding this 45 for sale, purchasing it, waiting for it to arrive in the mail and throwing it on my turntable to hear this song, when all I had to do was a fuckin’ Google search.”
Seriously? I have to write that shit? On a blog that gets broadcast to anyone across the planet with an internet connection? Jesus.
Now, I suppose I could have just erased that shit, and went about my business, but where’s the fun in that? All of what I said above is still true for a bunch of other songs we’ve got lined up this year, and I believe it. Plus, it is kinda funny to read it back in retrospect, realizing what a moron I was.
But I severely digress.
In my defense (but just barely) Bill forgot his own song’s party was possessive, which apparently threw the YouTube search engine into some fuckin’ algorithmic tail spin that returned nothing but My Little Pony videos instead of the 70’s monster song that all of my viewing history should’ve alerted YouTube that I was actually looking for. That, and no one had yet linked Bill’s video on Discogs. No excuse, ultimately, but I’ve since corrected that little error too. Twice over now.
Interestingly, Bill provides this bit of insight on the video’s description:
“I recorded this in 1973 and released it on Dart Records. We recorded at Chappells studio and called ourselves The Monsters. I think we released it just prior to Halloween. We did the rounds on Capital Radio etc and I have photographs of me with fangs and a facefull of black and white makeup. Those were the days!!!! We had quite a few sales but not enough to get in the charts I am afraid!”
That’s some solid firsthand info right there. He even tossed in a shout out to Halloween. Double bonus. Let’s go for the hat trick!
The upshot of actually purchasing this 45 was that the seller included an awesome promotional sheet. Check this shit out!
Now that’s what I call a win.
Not sure if I’d call this a “disco beat” though. But hey, Dart’s gotta sell this shit to, I dunno, whoever the hell’s in the market for Monster music in 1974. Disco freaks? Beats me. Was anyone even into Disco in ‘74? Was Disco even Disco in ‘74? Cause this shit don’t sound like Disco to me, so maybe Disco was different then.
Either way, that’s of no concern to us really, cause this song’s great however you classify it.
But we should address the cause of this whole YouTube search fiasco to begin with; that apostrophe S.
Cause this is the night of the Monster’s Party, as we previously discussed. It’s possessive. Now, Bill forgot that part, leading to our search debacle, but even Dart Records here seem to be confused. The 45 says Monster’s, and this promotional sheet says both Monsters and Monster’s. Ok then.
I’m going with that Monsters shit is a typo, and it’s Monster’s. It’s their party.
But wait. These guys singing areThe Monsters. So that’s a extra layer of confusion. Is it their party?
Now, they’re not these Monsters, who are also Monsters from this exact same time period, not to add further confusion or anything. These LARPers in the graveyard here aren’t from Britain. But well get to them, and their own “Disco” monster jam in just bit.
Back to this party.
Now, in the event you’re thinking thus might be some kinda backstage, monster groupie, sex drugs and disco-get-together, fear not. The lyrics set the record straight pretty quick.
In an old castle, Dracula, Frankenstein and the Werewolf are dancing to a song. Not this song of course, cause that wouldn’t make much sense and I’m pretty sure Monsters don’t actually listen to this kinda shit. But they’re dancing to a tune. 74? I’m gonna say it was Dark Lady by Cher. Why not?
But then the Mummy shows up later and gets scared by some other bloodsucking vampire, I guess. Even Dracula’s Daughter joins at one point! She might be the scary vampire. Unclear. But what is clear is that these are the real titular Monsters, and thus the party is their’s.
They say it’s happened all before, which is weird. Perhaps these guys do this a lot. Or maybe they’re just referring to The Monsters Hop (not possessive), or possibly even the Midnight Monsters Hop (also not possessive), or the dozens of other “Hey, let’s have Dracula dance around with Frankenstein while Wolfman plays the bass or some shit” songs, cause why not, right? If they got together, monsters would grab instruments and dance and party and eat plasma pizza, would they not?
The most curious lyric though is the warning, for us the listeners, to lock our doors. Why? These monsters all seem pretty occupied dancing around in this old castle. The one chick’s hungry from some monster pie, what the fuck that is. She tryin to eat one of these dudes? She just tryin to get balled out at this party? What’s her deal?
There’s no indication that they’re heading out afterwards to tear up the countryside. Maybe do a little fuckin, but that’s upstairs. Chances are, if these dudes weren’t singing to us about this soirée, we wouldn’t even know it was happening at all.
I’ll lock my doors all right, don’t worry about that pal. But not because some literary characters are dancing with a creature I’ve never seen before in an old castle I don’t live anywhere near. Pretty sure I’m good, bud. I appreciate the warning and all, but I’m not too concerned about this party spilling out onto the streets of Los Angeles. The pantsless meth-head posted up in a tent on the corner, shouting into a pay phone that hasn’t worked since 2005 is all the motivation I need to keep those fuckers fully bolted.
Unnecessary warnings aside, kicking off our Referential Monster of a year in perfect monster party fashion, with a little help from the Mysterioso Pizzicato no less, it’sThe Monsters with The Night of the Monster’s Party.
So, here’s a slice of bizarro-70’s-monster-weirdness I wish I knew existed back in 2018 when we did our Christmas episode of Shindig Radio. It’s the exact sort of thing I was trying to include.
Thankfully, it’s here now, so let’s talk about it.
Back in 1974, it would appear as though someone just casually listening to Boris Pickett’sMonster’s Holiday and thought it would be a great idea for an entire novelty concept album.
And they were right, cause this thing is awesome.
Now, it’s not exactly the same as Monster’s Holiday because the monsters don’t rob Santa, as they plan to do in Boris’ song. What’s happening here is that Frankenstein’s Monster is sick and dying. Ok, off to a weird start. But then, just going right along with the weirdness, he laments that he’s never been invited to a Christmas party. So, as some kinda Make-A-Wish Foundation move, the Association of Monsters decide to throw him a Christmas Party.
It’s a bizarre concept, no doubt, but it features a couple of fun new monsters tunes, a few classic Christmas carol renditions and some fantastic voice acting.
So, if you’re feeling like your Christmas is lacking a little Monster action, fire this thing up, because it’s one monstrously jolly listen.
Dashiki enthusiast and suspected racial appropriator Johnny Wakelin sang a lot of songs about boxers. Not the dogs mind you, but dudes who put on gloves and punch the shit out of each other.
Over a roughly 30 year span, Johnny released 12 different songs about boxers. Of courseMuhammad Ali, Lennox Lewis, Frank Bruno and Mike Tyson each got 2 a piece, but that’s still no mean feat.
It all seemed to start in 1972, when he wrote a song called Hungarian Superman about Hungarian boxer Joe Bugner.
Apparently no one cared though.
Then Joe Bugner lost to both Muhammad Ali and Ghost Fever star Joe Frazier. 12 rounders to be sure, and by decisions, but still L’s none the less.
So, Johnny figured he’d just rework Joe’s tune to be about Muhammad Ali and call it Black Superman instead. Keen.
This time people seemed to care. Well, at least a little. The song hit number 7 in the UK. It only reached number 21 here in the states, but it stayed in the top 100 for 6 months! Not too shabby for a weird ass tune from some British guy about an American boxer.
Figuring if it ain’t broke it ain’t broke, Johnny whipped up In Zaire, a song about Ali’s famous 1974 bout dubbed “The Rumble in the Jungle” against George Foreman. That one didn’t do as well, but still had some legs.
After a few underperforming singles including Africa Man, Cream Puff and Afro Afrique, he attempt to rebottle the lightning with 1986’s Bruno, about boxer Frank Bruno.
That didn’t do so hot either.
Later down the line Johnny thought, fuck it, I’ll write songs about all kinds of boxers including Sugar Ray Leonard, Prince Nassem Hamed and even my own hometown hero Rocky Marciano.
Now, you may be thinking “Gee, that’s real swell, pal, but what the fuck does that have to do with Halloween, you blithering jackass.”
A fair question.
Well, it seems that in the middle of all this pugilist pop, and for seemingly no good reason at all, ole Johnny decided to jump on the disco train and bring some of that spooky monster party shit with him. What?
So, he grabbed up an instrumental disco tune from Harold Faltermeyer – yep Top Gun, Fletch Theme, Axel F Harold Faltermeyer – and slapped some silly Monster Mash-fashioned lyrics over the whole thing.
The result was Dr. Frankenstein’s Disco Party, a bonafide Monster Disco jammer that’s as grooving as it is bizarre.
Seriously, this song rules. And it hits all the notes you want for a monster party disco hit. You got Dracula, Mummies, Zombies, fuckin Bigfoot and even a nod to Frankenstein’s Monster himself. Hell, all the invitations to this Shindig are delivered by bat for fuck’s sake. It’s incredible! Johnny should have ditched the boxing motif and stuck with the monster parties, you ask us.
So let’s say gold riddance to this disco block with a little underground groove about a bunch of bloodaholics.
Unfortunately for everyone listening, that’s not where the “Disco Dracula” ends.
Cause every once and a while The Shindig stumbles across a song that’s definitely not good, but not totally unlistenable, that practically insists upon itself to make the playlist.
Dracula Disco is just such a song.
Because where else do you put this? Where else does this thing get the nod? When else does this song get its day?
But maybe it shouldn’t get its day, because that place doesn’t exist. Maybe it should just get buried in a hole somewhere where you put uninspired, and dubious cash-in trash like this.
Well, unfortunately for that hole, such a place does exist. And that place is Halloween Shindig. And that day is today.
But holy shit. This is the kind of thing that give disco a bad name.
Say what you want about something like Soul Dracula, or Disco Blood, but those songs cut rugs. This shit…this Dracula Disco shit…this is bland, repetitive, cash grabby garbage. Hell, it barely qualifies as music. You can’t dance to this shit! Isn’t that the soul purpose of disco, to at least get your feet moving? What is this song’s purpose? Who is this song for? It’s definitely for us, right now, in hindsight. But I mean in its day, to whom was this appealing to? To whom was this being sold, I ask!
Not gonna lie though, this guy does a pretty good Dracula, but the song isn’t asking much of him in the way of singing. Also, his party is poorly attended and whack as fuck. What’s he got? 2 guests and some lights? A little music? Well, if it’s shit like Dracula Disco, count me out, Conde.
Where’s the cavalcade of monsterous party goers? Where’s the plasma pizza or the blood ballon race? This party doesn’t even have a spooky DJ. This party is lazy and so is this song.
Unfortunately, lazy though it might be, it’s exactly the kind of thing that needs to be on this playlist. Because, where else do you put a thing like Dracula Disco, if not in a trash can?
Also, that LP cover is pretty fantastic. Dude has a coffin guitar, so what the hell.
(It’s A) Monsters’ Holidayby Buck Owens and The Buckaroos
On Oct. 30th 1973, Hee-Haw co-host and future Country Hall of Fame inductee Buck Owens entered his Bakersfield California studio with his Buckaroos to record this shit-kickin’ country creep-out.
Released the following summer, just ahead of Halloween 1974, (It’s A) Monsters’ Holiday reached #6 on the Billboard Country Charts. Not bad for a silly monster song.
And boy howdy, is this one silly.
Rattling off all kinds of monsters – Frankenstein, The Wolfman, Dracula, The Hunchback, Gremlins, Goblins, Mummies and Zombies – Buck Owens gives shout outs all around in this goofy and upbeat tune.
Now, why all of these Monsters inexplicably appearing in Buck’s bedroom constitutes a “holiday” I couldn’t well say. To me, it just sounds like more work.
Cause for Monsters, scaring people is their job, right? At least, you could say it’s not below their pay-grade. So, if they’re just doing their job, than it sounds like they’re at work. Not much of a holiday, just doing what you do for a living.
Now, if they were hanging out by the pool, hittin’ the slopes, or yuckin it up down at the local Monster VFW, I could see considering this a nice little reprieve from their everyday responsibilities; a true holiday.
As it stands, this doesn’t sound like much of a vacation to me. But it does sound like one down home, country-fried Shindiggin’ Halloween hoedown if I’ve ever heard one.
While we may not be entirely sure who the fuck The Wolf Man actually is, we can safely say we know exactly who The Mummy is, and his name is Long Tall Ernie.
Dutch rockers Long Tall Ernie and The Shakers started out life in The Netherlands in 1968 as a band called The Moans, which they later changed to simply Moans.
These guys were all a bunch of jokers I guess, because during live performances The Moans would go offstage halfway through the set and re-emerge as a sort of spoof act called Long Tall Ernie and The Shakers. As The Shakers,The Moans would play traditional Rock ‘N Roll from across the pound…as they probably don’t say over there because that’s a definitely a British phrase.
Whatever they say, these guys never found much success as The Moans, but people seemed to love Long Tall Ernie and his Shakers. No problem for them, they just said “fuck it” and changed the band completely to Long Tall Ernie and The Shakers and started knocking out albums.
One of the last of those albums, from 1979, was Meet The Monsters. While maybe a little late in the game for this brand of Shock Theater styled rocking , being a direct goof on 50’s Rock ‘N Roll sensibilities, it only makes perfects sense that these jokesters might eventually release a full on novelty Monster album.
And god bless ‘em, because they threw on a song about the Mummy, and those aren’t exactly spilling out of the sarcophagi.
The Mummy is a bit underrepresented in the Monster Song game, at least when compared to Bash Brother’s Dracula and Frankenstein. Even the Wolf Man, or at the very least, Werewolves, are getting more at-bats than The Mummy.
And rightfully so. Of the Big 5, you’d have to slot this bozo 4th.
The Wolf Man-Dracula-Frankenstein lineup is a veritable Murderer’s Row when it comes to Monstering and popularity. Them’s just the breaks, kid. These dudes are batting 1000, mercing fools left and right and you’re over there lumbering around all slow, reaching at people, looking for some a lost lover or purloined artifact or some shit.
You don’t think you belong 4th, band-aid breath? Come at me. I’ll take you the fuck out, Rudy style, without even breaking a sweat. Frank’s tossin’ me straight into a river, I got nothing for a walking corpse quilt of those measurements. The Wolf Man’s probably ripping my gentials straight off and God help me if Dracula’s got any of them bimbo’s in tow, cause I’m a goner. You? You’re getting unwrapped up quick.
But enough calling out of probably imaginary Monsters. Let’s get back to Long Tall’s take.
For some reason, The Mummy here sounds like any numbers of novelty Dracula’s or weird Igor fashioned character. Seriously, why does The Mummy sound like this? I understand these guys are Dutch, but surely they realize this is not a voice associated with The Mummy, right?
But maybe that’s the problem. Is any voice really associated with The Mummy? What is he supposed to sound like? Egyptian I’ll wager, at the very least. You do have Karloff just Ardath Bey-ing it up, and maybe that’s what they were going for here, cause you could claim this is a voice approaching Boris.
Either way, this is a fun Novelty Monster song about a guy we don’t get to hear too much about. And in regards to Meet the Monsters, it’s a great Monstrous album that deserves a full listen, if you’re into that sort of thing. An album we certainly haven’t heard the last from around here.
Born from the same scuzzy streets, Foodland chipped ham and shitty, 3-story apartment building in “downtown” Monessen, Pennsylvania that also gave birth to Halloween Shindig, The Krypt-Keeper 5 and this playlist go together like apples and caramel.
A band of bored FX students joined forces in the winter of 2005 to cut a Christmas album. Deck My Balls: Seasons Beatings from The Krypt-Keeper 5 was a substantial, 28-track package of punk covers, originals, re-workings and Christmas classics.
Featuring the vocal stylings and ivory work of a man you may be familiar with; sculptor, mask-dork, punch-technician and friend of The Shindig, Mikey Rotella.
Rhythming it up behind him were bassist and 4th Keeper Chuck Hendershot (aka Klaus Satan Von Chudberg), Timmy “Tiny Timminy Grinch” Estes slinging a six-string, and Todd Russell Parker McCulloch filling in with drum fills, guitar licks and just about anything else required.
They even played a couple of shows which, for any of the poor souls trapped in the Monongahela Valley, was probably the freshest air they’d ever breathed. Unfortunately, The Shindig never got to see them perform live, as it had moved on to the good life out in California’s beautiful San Fernando Valley by 2005. However, we can all pretend like we were there thanks to the miracle of modern video.
Yeah, that’s great an all, but the last time I checked this was Halloween Shindig. Why the fuck are we sitting here, 3 days before Halloween, talking about a goddamn Christmas album?
Well, that’s because buried deep within this seasonal offering is another kind of festive shanty, and it’s the 5’s take on a Halloween Classic, The Monster Mash.
And when Monessen’s own sons, The Krypt-Keeper 5, take on All-Star Boris Pickett’s seminal Halloween hit, there’s nothing but room for them on Halloween Shindig.
So, c’mon Weeners! Join Dracula, his son….and the wolfmaaan…for this take on the timeless graveyard smash.
The Monster Mashby Bobby “Boris” Pickett and The Crypt Kickers
Around Halloween, dozens of internet outlets will cough up a dozen or so songs they think you ought to play at your Halloween party. The more enterprising sort might even toss you a couple you didn’t think of or haven’t heard before. The too-cool-for-ghoul-school nitwits’ll even attempt to buck convention with some underground hits which barely qualify and have little to no business playing at your party.
Invariably though, most Halloween playlist fakers tell ya the one thing you should never even consider playing at your party is The Monster Mash; so horrifically lame, so dreadfully passé.
I read one list that even had the audacity to claim it didn’t conjure up any feelings of fright. Are you serious? It’s a novelty song…about a bunch of monsters…having a party. Of course it doesn’t conjure up any feelings of fright you fuckin’ nimrod, it’s a joke.
They also went on to suggest I play Disturbiaby Rhianna.
They shouldn’t be allowed to make Halloween party playlists and they certainly shouldn’t come up on the first page of a Google search.
Moreover, they included The Freaks Come Out At Night by Whodini. Who-fuckin-Dini! They have a song called The Haunted House of Rock, which is played at a Halloween Dance in a movie titled Trick Or Treat. F minus to your bullshit suggestions.
These people are idiots. Don’t listen to them.
Is The Monster Mash played out? Of course it is. It’s 50 fucking years old and the only time anyone ever plays it is at Halloween.
Can you’re Oct. 31st spare 3 and half measly minutes for The Monster Mash? Yes it can and you should take off your fucking mask in reverence for the Halloween National Anthem. The fucking heathens…..skip The Monster Mash….skip your passing interest in a holiday that didn’t need your bogus suggestions. Can’t even find The Shindig in a Google search on the matter and I get these bozos telling me to pass on The Monster Mash.
Ok, if you’re offering up 10 suggestions, I can seeing glazing over it in lieu of a few songs that people are less familiar with. Should have made it 13 songs and showed a little class. Even still, what’s 13 songs? You throwing a party for an hour?
Saw a list of 25 once. Could have just made it 31 and been a bit more festive. Still ain’t handling the job of party DJ.
That’s why Halloween Shindig exists, to rebuke these johnny-come-latelies and offer up a list of serious suggestions; to encompass all and handle the task at hand. Does anyone need a 12 hour Halloween playlist? Probably not but it’s here and growing longer each year. I hope to one day have 24 hours worth so your Halloween couldn’t possibly fit anymore music.
You only need to fill 4 hours? We’ll hook you up 3 times over again. Only want a party filled with Monster Raps? No problem. Here’s 2 hours worth.
Is Love Is A Lie very Halloweeny? Not at all but it’s in Friday 4 when Crispin Glover dances like an idiot and that’s the kinda Halloween party some people are throwing. Not your Shindig? There’s 230 other songs to pick from but it should be represented, just like The fucking Monster Mash should be represented.
To hell with your non-festive, non-referential garbage pop. Play that shit at your wedding. Tonight is Halloween and you should be playing the goddamn Monster Mash.
Since we all know and have just addressed with whom you’d contact over telephone wires should it become apparent that you in fact have harmful apparitions approaching, let’s task listeners with a similar question:
Yeah, but who do you call when you have Monsters?
That’s right. And at last we come to The Monster Squad. From the very first CD in 2002, The Monster Squad has been a permanent fixture of Halloween Shindig and remains one of my favorite selections on the playlist.
Granted, I may be a bit biased but this song is representing hard. Let’s check the stats:
Is it about a horror movie?
Check, it’s about the goddamn Monster Squad.
Ah, yes, but is it in the movie?
In it? Motherfucker, it’s the Title Track. Triple check that shit.
We talkin’ bout Monsters?
Fuck yeah we are. It’s like a goddamn monster mash up in this motherfucker. Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, the Wolfman, the Mummy, the Creature from the Black Lagoon. That’s the big five, son. Throw in some sexy vampire chicks, a grotesque bat transformation and a werewolf exploding out of the sky and you’ve got some real monster shit on lock. Check + to Monster Song.
What more could you ask for? Well, they even mention Halloween too. Sure, it’s to illustrate how this ain’t Halloween (or some phony deal) but we’ll just look that other way on that one. They say Halloween and damn it if that ain’t all that matters sometimes.
Now all of that sounds like a Referentially Inclusive Monster Halloween Title Track to me, gang.
And it’s a Monster Rap to boot? Holy shit, is there anything this song can’t do?
One of the most ridiculous tracks you can imagine, The Monster Squad was suspiciously recorded by some anonymous collective of Hip-Hop Demigods that chose to remain nameless. What?!
Why the hell anyone would elect to do this is so far beyond the scope of my imagination it boarders on madness. If I was responsible for this song I’d put it on every job application I ever filled out.
2 years as an Assistant Hanger Inspector for Sears and Roebuck.
4 months as a Substitute Wigsmith at The Downtown Clownery.
Oh yeah and I wrote the motherfucking Monster Squad Rap. What’s up?
From a time when everyone thought something like this was a really great idea, The Monster Squad (for anyone thinking otherwise) is a really great idea.
It’s is pretty whack? Yeah, I guess so. If you wanna be a jerk about it.
Is it poorly conceived and equally executed? Yeah, I suppose I’d have to concede that fact too, if you really want this to be a frank discussion about musical integrity.
But fuck that discussion and fuck you for wanting it pal, cause this song fucking rules. It’s a rap song about a group of kids fighting The Universal Monsters. Oh, did you not catch that? It’s a rap song about a group of kids fighting The Universal Monsters. Whomever is responsible for this song should be a cultural icon. They should have a fucking Grammy and an Academy Award.
Instead, (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing took the honor that year. All right, fair enough. Maybe that’s a better song, but it lacks the lyric:
“We don’t wanna hang with the walking dead, so we gotta kick some monster butt instead.”
What’s up now, Academy of Arts and Sciences?
Looking into this travesty further, I discovered the competition that year was actually pretty stiff. Check this shit out:
“Storybook Love” by Willy DeVille and Mark Knopfler from The Princess Bride
Damn, that’s a solid 80’s line-up right there. Maybe I spoke too soon. Still, it should have been nominated at the absolute least. Who the hell is still talking about Cry Freedom 26 years later?
No one, that’s who.
But I digress.
An interesting side note to this song: the original version I had on the 2002 CD was pulled from my old VHS copy of Monster Squad. Incidentally, this was later signed by Tom “The Gillman” Woodruff Jr. Coincidence? I like to think not.
This version of the song contained the line:
“First came Dracula, now the Wolfman too, The Mummy and the Gillman swimming in the pool.”
What? Why did that roll call just fall the fuck apart?
Hear that sample below:
I always thought this was a pretty strange and horrendous line, particularly when they could have just as simply said “and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.”
But I guess they couldn’t say “and the Creature from the Black Lagoon,” for the home video release. Damn copyrights.
All things considered, that’s not a bad save. Syllabically sound, it even sort of rhymes, at least no more or less than the original false rhyme. But damn is it silly. Who the fuck is the Gillman? Why are they calling The Creature from the Black Lagoon “The Gillman?” And why is he in the pool? Did I miss a scene where he climbs out of a pool? Why did he just say that?
Upon upgrading the tune for better quality many years later when The Monster Squad finally saw a DVD release, I noticed the line was suddenly changed to “and the Creature From The Black Lagoon” and I thought “Shit, that must have been the original lyric. How about that.” Now, I just feel sort of nostalgic for the old, butchered scab.
But I’ve spoken too verbosely about all of this as is, so let’s just make with the goods, huh?
One of my favorite songs on the playlist from one of my favorite movies of all time. Here it is….The Monster Squad.
Several years before he became the host of Super Password, Tattletales and Win, Lose or Draw, and 4 years before Boris Pickett would soar to #1 on the wings of The Monster Mash, Bert Convy recorded this tune about a bunch of monsters dancing around inside a spooky house.
Though lacking the character and humor that ultimately made The Monster Mash such a smash, I rather enjoy The Monsters Hop, maybe even a bit more than Pickett’s seminal Halloween hit. I think it’s catchier, certainly more up-tempo, and nowhere near as played out as The Monster Mash. Those are some pretty big checks in the plus column, you ask me.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s a better song, not by any stretch of the imagination, but when listening to the Shindig leisurely (as is my wont) I will usually skip The Monster Mash, yet I always have 2 minutes to spare for The Monsters Hop.
Here’s a bizarre Shindig entry from singer Lee Ross.
Never heard of him? Well, don’t let it bum you out, cause neither has the Internet apparently. Digging up information on Lee seems to lead to a lot of cold trails.
What we can be sure of however, is that Lee definitely performed this catchy little number about the Mummy. Which Mummy, we’re less sure of, as Lee’s story doesn’t seem to match up to any Mummy film that I can cross reference.
This matters little however, because Mummy songs aren’t exactly falling out of the pockets of novelty-rockdom. In a genre choked with Vampires, Ghosts and Frankensteins, a song about a Mummy is a breath of stale and musty air.
So lets sit back and enjoy this strange little ditty about the Mummy, and his bracelet.
