Some Halloween movies only feature a small scene or two concerning the actual holiday. Some Halloween movies revolve entirely around it or take place exclusively on the Eve of All Saints. Some even go so far as to use the word “Halloween” in their title.

Few movies, however, have the balls to do this and then deliver about as much Halloween as a St. Patrick’s Day Parade (Silver Shamrock notwithstanding.)

The Fear 2: Halloween Night is one of those proud few.

Yes, The Fear 2 (as I will henceforth refer to it…without it’s bogus Halloween by-line) does technically take place on Halloween. Yes, there are people dressed up in “costumes” for a “Halloween Party.” No, despite this, it will not put you in the Halloween spirit.

Ya see, Mike’s dad was a murderous nutjob who made people reveal their deepest fears before butchering them to pieces. One Halloween, Mike saw his dad murder his own mother, and was subsequently kidnapped by him and stuffed into a trunk with Morty, the wooden Indian fear-totem which came to life in the original film.

20 years later, Mike decides to get all his friends together at the old house with Morty and enact this exact process of fear delving as a way to not become his father an exorcise those particular demons.

Yeah, it’s a bad plan. It’s also a dumb plot for a movie, one that The Fear 2 indulges in with little fanfare.

It’s not even that The Fear 2 is that bad of a movie. For all intents and purposes it’s fine. It’s not what The Fear 2 is, so much as what it isn’t. Namely, it isn’t scary, it isn’t interesting, it isn’t gory, it features no nudity and it’s isn’t even all that cheesy or fun.

They try to make Morty spew some one-liners as a last ditch effort after endless scenes of him doing absolutely nothing, but it just doesn’t have any ronic or ironic joy to it. It’s just dumb.

The Fear 2 is the worst kind of movie, a middling slog that feels too stupid to be good but just good enough to be wholly unentertaining. It’s simply there, happening in front of your eyes without engaging you in the least.

That fact that you can add it’s almost complete lack of Halloween atmosphere to the pile just makes The Fear 2 one big Halloween trick.

I’m giving this offering a cardbox box and a sheet with question marks down!

Designation: Trick!