Audio

Trick or Treat

TRACK #166:

Trick or Treat by Acid Witch

Acid Witch rules.

Just look at that album cover!

That shit is awesome. That’s one of the coolest album covers I’ve seen in a long time. I know they say you shouldn’t judge stuff by it’s cover and what have you, but c’mon! Look at that fucking thing. There’s no way the band hiding behind that cover doesn’t rule.

And they do.

Sludgy, doomy and packed front to back with Halloween imagery, Acid Witch delivers the goods. Hailing from Detroit, it seems they’ve taken up the mantle from Motorcity’s own Halloween and dubbed their music “Halloween Metal.” Goddamn right.As such, they’ve got plenty of Halloween fodder for the Shindig, and like their local brethren, are first ballot Shindig All-Stars.

They even cut an EP last year called “Midnight Movie” featuring covers of songs already included on the playlist, with samples and everything. It’s like they covered the Shindig! It’s insane. I love these dudes.

First up from Acid Witch: Trick or Treat. Chuggier than shit and more unsettling than that, it’s written from the perspective of a true predator on Halloween, lurking in the guise of a mild mannered neighbor.

With his thicked-rimmed glasses, trimmed mustache and white cargo van, he relishes in the opportunity Halloween provides to snatch up children to feed his cannibalistic desires. His is the house you stay away from on Halloween, and every neighborhood has someone like him.

Creepy.

Sampled up with clips from the Tales From the Darkside pilot Trick or Treats, featuring a different kind of Halloween predator, Mr. Hackle.

Banker and land baron to a small farming community, he has the whole of the town indebted to him through IOUs. Every Halloween he allows the children a chance to enter his haunted abode and search for the IOUs to clear their parent’s debt.

There, they find he has a few tricks up his sleeve for them. But this year, the spirits of Halloween have a few tricks in store for him.

Featured within is one of the scariest witches to ever grace the screen, who’s cackle and entreaties for treats are the stuff of nightmares. What better combo for Acid Witch and their All Hallo’s horror?

Trick or treeeeaaaat.

 

Audio

Trick or Treat

TRACK #165:

Trick or Treat by Halloween

A band named Halloween wouldn’t be worth their weight in candy corn if they weren’t coming correct with a song called Trick or Treat.

Thankfully, Detroit’s Heavy Metal Horror Show doesn’t disappoint. From Halloween’s 1985 debut album Don’t Metal with Evil comes Trick or Treat, just like it says on the tin.

Bookended by random clips from both Hack-O-Lantern and Halloween 2.

So, in case you’re feeling like you’ve been trick or treated to death these last few nights, Dr. Loomis is gonna let you know…

You don’t know what death is!

 

Audio

Trick or Treat

TRACK #164:

Trick or Treat by Witchfynde

Witchfynde eh? What’s their deal?

Another British band singing about Halloween? What gives, Ed? You said the Brits don’t give a toss for All Hallo’s.

Well, I don’t get the impression that they do. I’ve never claimed to be the authority on any matter, not even Halloween Horror Music, and I’ve written far too many words concerning that subject.

Whether that impression is true or not is neither here nor there when it comes to this ‘digger, because it’s a clear case of a band disguising a song as a Halloween song.

Witchfynde’s Trick or Treat details the dealings of a two-faced sort of character that has much but always wants more. Eventually, not being able to satiate his desires, he takes to B&E, a bit of murder, and gets himself tossed in the clink. Not exactly a love song, but definitely not specifically about Halloween.

Still, it’s a pretty groovin’ tune from a weird, occulty band called Witchfynde where the lyrics “Trick or Treat” get repeated a number of times, so we’re lightin’ it up.

Throw in a little festive atmosphere from the Tales From the Darkside episode entitled Halloween Candy, and you’ve got yourself a perfect number for an Oct. 20th’s evenings.

 

Audio

Trick or Treat

TRACK #163:

Trick or Treat by Otis Redding

Similar to Chuck’s tune, Otis Redding’s Trick or Treat isn’t necessarily about Halloween either. It is more related though, if only because Otis actually uses the word “Halloween.” That’s a bonus.

Despite his utilization of the name, he mostly seems concerned that this floozy is playing games with his emotions. First she’s hot on him, then maybe she gets a little chilly.

Either way, Otis just wants to know what the score is, cause he ain’t about to wait until Halloween to find out he ain’t gettin’ a Treat, which I can only assume is some sort of sexual favor.

What does any of this even have to do with Halloween? Nothing really, I suppose. Then why use Halloween at all? It’s a good question. He gets to incorporate the phrase “trick or treat,” but I don’t see that as a huge selling point from a song writing perspective.

Here, it implies that it’s a treat if the girl loves him, and a trick is she only likes him. That’s pretty odd though, to consider being “liked” a trick. I get what Otis is saying, but it does seem a little strange to perceive the state of being “liked” as mere trickery.

I’d rather be liked than disliked, or straight up hated on, but hey, that’s just me.

At any rate here’s another Trick or Treat song with dubious usage of Halloween, albeit from one of the greats, Mr. Otis Redding.

 

Audio

Trick or Treat

TRACK #162:

Trick or Treat by Chuck Berry

So, Chuck Berry pretty much invented Rock ‘N Roll, right? Well, at least how we might conceptualize it now anyway? That rhythm and blues styled, riff-based, axe-out-front, back beat driven, power-stance Rock ‘N Roll? The kind that soothes Bob Seger’s soul? Yeah, I think that’s pretty widely agreed upon.

You know what else Chuck Berry did? He wrote a song about Halloween.

Well, kinda.

See, this tune makes no real overt reference to the holiday itself or its traditions. It is, however, called Trick or Treat and that phrase is repeated quite a number of times.

So, when the true King of Rock ‘N Roll straps one on and starts wailing “Trick or Treat, Baby,” The Shindig isn’t about to split hairs.

You know that new Halloween sound you been looking for? Well, listen to this!

 

Audio

Trick or Treat (For Halloween)

TRACK #161:

Trick or Treat (For Halloween) by Al Hoffman, Jerry Livingston and Mack David

Though Siouxsie Sioux’s song starts this block off rather nicely, let’s fully embrace the Trick or Treat vibe with this tune from Disney’s classic 1952 short Trick or Treat starring Donald Duck.

Full of great vintage Halloween imagery, the short features Huey, Dewey and Louie approaching their uncle’s house for a bit of Trick or Treat. But Donald’s an asshole and he promptly puts fireworks in their bags. His own Nephews? What a prick.

No matter, as the boys soon find a Witch and now the trick’s on Donald as she conjures a potion which transforms just about everything into a nightmarish object to torment Donald.

Based around this typically Disney-styled tune, the short is a great October viewing for any fans of either Disney or the season.

Twick ow Tweat!

 

Trick or Treatin’

There’s probably no phrase more tied to Halloween than “Trick or Treat.”

There’s simply no other association. It conjures up nothing but festive imagery, even when not used in that context.

Kids in costume, going door to door in droves, threatening the neighbors to produce treats under penalty of trick. It’s one of the grand old customs that’s still observed to this day. It’s the backbone of what it’s all about. It’s what makes Halloween Halloween.

Time was they called it “souling” and the “treats” were mostly just fruits and small cakes. Initially they were left out on the stoop for the dead as offerings, or rather “sacrifices.” Guess people starting figuring “Hell, if they’re not gonna eat em…” Risky business, you ask me.

Further back still, it is said that the Druids, searching for human sacrifices on Samhain, would rap upon your door and say the phrase. The Treat for producing a sacrifice (most probably one of your children) would be a Jack-O-Lantern filled with the fat from a previous sacrifice, which when lit, would protect you from whatever demons and spirits the Druids were planning on conjuring that evening. The Trick? Oh, just a hexagram in blood on your front door, inviting said conjurings specifically to your home. Trick indeed.

Kind of a trick either way, honestly. Seems you’re just in for it. At least you got a Jack-O-Lantern from the Treat, and that might protect your family. Well, the rest of your family. The kid you offered up is pretty well fucked. Unless of course they can successfully bob an apple out of boiling water on the first try. If not, off with their head, which was probably horribly burned from the oil anyhow. And should they opt against trying to bob the apple? Welp, into the Wicker Man for a good old fashion sacrificial burning.

Seems this day has some pretty sinister origins. Whether or not we’re engaging in a sort of ritualistic conjuring simply through the sheer mimicry of such practices (innocent as they may be or at least appear) is the question.

Are we complicit to evil? Are we abominations in our masks? Is it now so secular it has no power? Or does it have more power in our ignorant observance.

As Colonel Cochran tells us in Halloween 3:

“You thought no further than the strange custom of having your kids wear masks and go out begging for candy.”

Have we?

Where ever the absolute truth may lie, these days you’ve got peanut allergies, childhood obesity and early onset diabetes to concern yourself with, never mind possible psychological warfare and veiled Satanism.

And that’s to say nothing of Trick or Treating before it even gets dark or the dreadfully unfestive “Trunk or Treat.” Gag me with a Carmel Apple. Remember when Halloween was exciting, mischievous and just a little bit dangerous?

Or perhaps a time none of us remember when it was possibly the most dangerous night of all? Now, that’s some real spooky shit.

As you can imagine, there’s no shortage of songs on The Shindig called Trick or Treat. At present, the playlist features 4 songs by that title. 5 if you count the Lou Rawls’ Garfield tune. There’s plenty more.

We thought it was time to indulge in a block of Trick or Treat goodness, cause hey, we like blocks. Not all of these songs are specifically related to Halloween proper, but we’re not gonna be sticklers.

Whatever it meant, or means or conjures – within us or out in the ether, it is a part of Halloween; good or evil, or perhaps somewhere in between.

So, come on! Grab a Ben Cooper mask, a plastic pumpkin and crack a glow stick. Let’s go Trick Or Treatin’!

Audio

Halloween

TRACK #160:

Halloween by Siouxsie and The Banshees

The British don’t really give a shit about Halloween. At least not according to me and this blog on the occasions when we’ve previously stated as such.

We’ve based this idea almost exclusively on To The Devil a Daughter and The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane. Additionally, my wife has corroborated this somewhat, having spent some time in England and found their Halloween enthusiasm lacking.

Strange then that innovative British Post-Punkers and Goth pioneers Siouxsie and the Banshees have a song titled Halloween. Or maybe not, given their whole gothy aesthetic. To be fair though, their song isn’t a parade of Milky Ways, Don Post masks and burning orange gourds.

No, Siouxsie Sioux’s track is a more atmospheric affair that seems to deal with a loss of childhood innocence.

Doubling fitting then that we bookend it with samples from the aforementioned Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane, where American creepster Martin Sheen sleazes all over British child Jodi Foster on the Eve of All Saints in a decidedly less-than-innocent fashion.

He also provides us with a pretty solid and concise description of what Halloween represents stateside:

“Oh, it’s a big day here when all the kids get dressed up in scary costumes and masks and go around to all the houses. When you answer the door the shout ‘trick or treat’ and you’re suppose to act scared, and if you don’t give them a treat, they’ll pull some dirty trick on you.”

Yep, that’s pretty much what we got going on over here.

 

Audio

Stigmata Martyr

TRACK #159:

Stygmata Martyr by Bauhaus

From the original Night of the Demons comes a song not actually performed by Dennis Michael Tenney. How about that?

Effectively used in an effectively creepy scene shortly after Angela’s possession where she treats Sal (and us) with some interpretive dance to Bauhaus’ haunted hit.

The radio flips on mysteriously, the strobe flickers ominously, and Sal looks on disconcertingly while Angela writhes and gyrates to the post-punk gothic sounds.

In a movie where Linnea Quigley isn’t shy about her body in the slightest, the fact that Angela can be as equally distracting in a feat unto itself.

Apparently actress Amelia Kinkade (who looks pretty damn fantastic twirling around in her gothic get-up) was actually a dancer and choreographed all the moves herself.

She’s also in Roadhouse, which is pretty fantastic too. Additionally fantastic is her appearance in My Best Friend’s A Vampire.

Is there anything Angela can’t do?

She reprises her seductive dance routine in Night of the Demons 2, which is also worth checking out, despite being inferior to the original in pretty much every way.

What the 2 have going for them each, however, is that they are both incredibly Halloweeny and make for great late-October viewing.

“You’re a sweet lookin’ babe Suzanne, but you and you’re friend Ang are just a little too weird-o for me.”

 

Audio

Poison Heart

TRACK #158

Poison Heart by The Ramones

Odds are you’re not reading this. It’s not exactly rush hour over here at The Shindig. I’m the site administrator. I see the numbers and I wouldn’t call them encouraging.

If you do happen to be reading this though, odds are you don’t really like Pet Sematary 2. That’s just simple math. The number of people who actually like that movie divided by the number of daily visitors this site gets makes it practically fucking impossible for you to be a fan.

You may use such tempered words as “tolerable,” “serviceable,” or perhaps even “forgettable,” to describe your feelings toward it, but I’ll wager “good” probably won’t be among the ones you choose.

Cause let’s face it, it just wasn’t that great of an idea, at least not artistically. Financially, sure, in that they turned 8 million dollars into 17 million at the box office alone. I doubt anyone involved considered that a failure in any monetary sense.

As a movie to just watch (either then or 25 years after the fact) it just doesn’t do enough of anything particularly well to be all that entertaining or to justify its own existence beyond being a sound financial investment.

There are 3 positive things I can say about Pet Sematary 2 however.

  1. It’s a Halloween movie, complete with costumes and trick-or-treating, a Halloween party at the Pet Sematary and a satisfying autumnal-leafy-vibe.
  2. Clancy Brown is well cast and fun to watch. He’s fittingly menacing as the main antagonist and he definitely does all the heavy lifting here.
  3. Someone thought it would be cool if they had The Ramones provided the end credit track again.

And it was. I hope that person got at least a nice piece of that 17 million domestic gross.

Lead-in by the Friday 2-styled, sequel-requisite “tell the story of the previous installment as a spooky campfire story” move,  here’s The Ramones returning to the old Micmac cemetery with Poison Heart.

 

PS: that voice you’re hearing is from young actor Jared Rushton, whom some of you may remember as Tom Hanks’ buddy in Big. However, astute Halloweeners may recognize an even younger Jared from Lady In White, where he locked Frankie Scarlatti in the cloak room on Halloween. Yep, Jared is a 2-time Halloween prick and honorary Shindig All-Star. Good work Jared, your agent was pretty keen. Send him a fruit basket.

Audio

Get Dead

TRACK #157:

Get Dead by Shari Belafonte

From 1985’s made-for-TV Halloween bonanza The Midnight Hour comes this creepy curio with so much mid-80’s budget-pop pizazz it even features a Soundwave-styled vocorder performance. Radical!

Harry Belafonte’s daughter Shari (pops wasn’t big on creativity, I guess) stars in the film and sings this tune, perhaps fashioned after the recent mega-hit Thriller.

In fact, the whole project seems to be an attempt to cash-in on Michael’s occult success; semi-spooky, family friendly, monster-mash madness with a throwback, 50’s drive-in flare. And this tune, an ensemble dance number staged at a Halloween party, appears to be the piece de resistance.

Though clearly made for TV and a little toothless, The Midnight Hour is a pretty enjoyable and festive addition to anyone’s October line-up. It’s even a fair bit more creepy than something you’d imagine was just made for TV.

You’ll get some fun guest appearances too, from the likes of Spaceball’s King Roland, Clarence Boddicker, that one guy from 21 Jumpstreet, UHF’s R.J. Fletcher, Yori from Tron and The Reading Rainbow Dude who wore that bitchin’ visor on Star Trek. Studded.

Plus there’s tons of Halloween ambiance, creepy Thriller-Lite graveyard scenes, a lot of cool make-ups and FX, a bunch of fun Halloween costumes, more monsters than you can shake a stick at and this kickin’ ‘digger. What more could you want from an October evening’s Televison adventure?

I’m dead, you’re dying. Everybody should try it…

Get Dead!

 

Audio

Take the Time To Dream

TRACK #156:

Take the Time to Dream by FM

A Friday the 13th, in October? Now that’s a rarity. You know we gotta represent on this one. Good thing The Shindig is prepared with a poppy piece of Crystal Lake crooning from Jason’s later catalog.

A lot of people dislike Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood. I’m not one of them, but they exist and I can’t say I blame them.

Its heavily censored kills feel like highway robbery, it has one most disappointing endings in the series, the teenage fodder on display isn’t particularly interesting and the film just feels tired. Psychic girl unwittingly resurrects Jason? C’mon…

However, 7 has a lot going for it. I think of it as Jason’s last hoorah, for it’s the last time he’s in his element doing what he does best, before he takes off to Manhattan, other peoples bodies, Hell, Space, Elm Street, and ultimately Remakewood. Say what you want about 7, it never gets this good (or as true to itself) again.

But it is stretching its limits, as the whole thing finally succumbs to the Elm Street Effect and goes full-on supernatural.

The psychic angle, while a bit much, offers some interest though. Mainly, it puts a new spin on a formula that had already well worn out its welcome, having seen probably it’s best reworking in Jason Lives. It also finally gives Jason a formidable opponent, something really unseen up to this point in the series, silly as that opponent might be.

However, New Blood’s biggest plus come in the form of Jason himself, namely the addition of literal new blood, Kane Hodder, and the make-up work of John Carl Buechler.

Jason never looked this good before, or after. This is it. This is the most badass Jason around. With his spine-exposed and masked destroyed, he’s constantly dripping water and stalking around with a menace unmatched. And lets face it, that’s what we’re all here to see.

The soundtrack is coming up pretty short here though, in my opinion. Mostly just handed over to prog-wavers FM out of what feel like laziness, the songs never play much prominence, or hit any high notes. Even the score here feels a little wrong.

However, I’ve chosen one of those FM tracks for the Shindig, mostly so I can rant a little about Part 7 and post some gifs. Besides, that opening narration is too cool not too use somewhere.

And as if the psychic girl wasn’t Elm Street enough for you, this song’s all about dreaming. Sure, it’s a more figurative kind of dreaming, but I still I think it’s safe to say that by 1987, Freddy was winning the fight.

Happy Friday, October The 13th!

 

Audio

Nightmare

TRACK #155:

Nightmare by 213

Freddy Krueger: What can be said about the quintessential 80’s man-specter that hasn’t been said a thousands different times by a thousand different nerds? Who am I to pretend like I’ve got some groundbreaking shit to drop on you? I’m no one, and I don’t, so I won’t. I’m simply another nerd with a foolishly myopic blog, so I’ll just stick to the script.

Freddy (whether I’ve said this before or not I can’t recall) is the reigning champ of horror tunes. He owns the 80’s pop-music-via-monster-icon scene. The guy even cut his own album. He’s all over it.

Jason comes close, but the Friday people didn’t fully climb aboard this particular train until part 6, and they never really bought a ticket. Freddy was shoveling coal in it’s boiler room.

And from the jump too, as even his first outing got its own little referentially inclusive tune in the form of 213’s Nightmare.

Well, who the fuck is 213? Apparently they’re no ones, as no one seems to have any information on these guys. Well, aside from the painfully obviously “they were some local LA band that provided this track” or the goofier and obviously nonsensical “they were Johnny Deep’s band” theory.

Whoever they were, they’ll go down in the Shindig’s book as they guys who churned out that thoroughly apropos end credit song from the original Nightmare On Elm Street, and baby, that’s enough.

So, up yours with a twirling lawnmower,…whatever the hell that even means.

 

Audio

The Hell of It

TRACK #154:

The Hell of It by Paul Williams

Speaking of Paul Williams, let’s take this moment to segue right into one of Horror’s most beloved rock operas, Brian DePalma’s 1974 pitch-perfect send-up of the entire recording industry, Phantom of the Paradise.

Elements of Faust, Phantom of the Opera, Frankenstein, Portrait of Dorian Gray and even a little Dr. Phibes are all fused together to tell a tale of love, betrayal, fame and revenge set to the backdrop of the doped-out, sinister 70’s music scene.

Williams scored the entire film for DePalma, and stars as Swan, the unscrupulous producer who collects talents and souls for his Death Records label.

Phantom of the Paradise is unique, visually arresting, kinetic and humorous all in equal measure. From DePalma’s active camera, to Gerritt Graham’s flamboyant Beef, to Winslow’s killer Phantom disguise, to Swan’s bitchin’ giant, record-shaped desk, to the parodist music, to the satire – everything here just works, and works so damn well.

Even getting Rod Serling himself to handle the opening narration is like a stroke of genius.

Here we have the film’s final track, a rocking little number played over the picture credits, that has all the seeming of Satan himself speaking directly to Swan.

If you’ve never seen Phantom of the Paradise, give this pop-rock-horror-satire a spin this October. And if you already love it, watch it again, just for the hell of it!

 

 

Audio

The Devil’s Men

TRACK #153:

The Devil’s Men by Paul Williams

While fairly understated and never quite as rousing as it seems like it should be, The Devil’s Men is a somewhat worthwhile endeavor, if only to see card-carrying good guy Peter Cushing all cloaked out and evil, raising a 10 foot, fire-breathing Minotaur statue he calls “lord.”

Oh yeah and all the creepy , robed Minotaur worshipers.

Oh yeah and them all exploding at that end. That shit is pretty awesome.

But it’s mostly worth seeing for the grooviest title track this side of Scream and Scream Again, which incidentally, Cushing also appears.

Paul Williams performs this number, but apparently not the same Paul Williams with whom many of you may be familiar with from his performance in and musical contributions to, Brian DePalma’s Phantom Of The Paradise. Naw, this is some other Paul Williams. Which is unfortunate, but not terribly surprising, as this Paul Williams doesn’t sound much like that Paul Williams.

But props all around anyway other Paul, cause this one’s a doozy.

However, much like the last 2 cuts in this True Title Track block, someone had it out for The Devil’s Men, someone who sucked at their job.

See, they took the movie and retitled it Land Of The Minotaur. Which (while in and of itself is a cool title) seems pretty unnecessary, particularly during the 70’s satanic panic where one would imagine a film called The Devil’s Men might play just fine.

They also saw fit to removed a bunch of violence and all the nudity. Seriously? What’s next? Did they cut out an awesome Title Track too?

Yes! That’s exactly what they did, and they should be tried and hung for the successive severity of their crimes.

So, if you’re gonna watch The Devil’s Men, make sure you watch The Devil’s Men, and not Land of the Minotaur, cause it doesn’t have a whole lot going for it, and the censored version removes just about every reason there is to watch it at all. For shame!

Here, now returned to its former glory, it’s Some Different Paul Williams with The Devil’s Men!

UPDATE!

Ok, so weird almost 10 years after the fact Post Script on this number, but I was just watching the Christian documentary Rock: It’s Your Decision,

Audio

Fall Break

TRACK #151:

Fall Break by Peter Yellen and The Breakers

If there’s one thing The Shindig hates, it’s when foolish producers try to bench a perfectly good Title Track. The Shindig lives for Title Tracks and finds this practice to be an affront to both the films and their visionary creators.

A great example is our next digger, a song we absolutely love, Fall Break.

Now this is a Title Track; tailor made, vaguely referential, tonally incongruous and totally bizarre. It sounds like an 80’s sitcom theme and it’s awesome.

But somebody with a suit and a wallet thought no one would watch a movie called Fall Break.

He was probably right. It’s a strange title. Is Fall Break even a thing? I’ve never heard of it outside of this movie. We certainly never got one growing up. Fuck, the school year just started, they need a break already? It sounds like some lame version of Spring Break in New Hampshire with no bikinis. Who’s getting jazzed for Fall Break?

Nobody, that’s who, and the money guys know it. They want rentals at the local Video Stop, and that same nobody is renting Fall Fucking Break.

Enter: The Mutilator.

People wanna see The Mutilator. Hell,  I wanna see The Mutilator, it sounds tough as shit. It’s direct, violet, unambiguous, and a hell of the lot more intriguing then whatever stupid shit is happening in, what did you say that title was again? Fall Break? Yeah, that’s gotta go.

”But the movies already been made, cut and released as Fall Break. We even have a song called Fall Break playing during the opening credits and everything!”

Yeah, whatever to that bullshit, it’s The Mutilator now.

And a Title Track died.

Except, technically the film was released as Fall Break, so here on The Shindig we’re keepin it real; resurrecting all Title Tracks and returning them to their rightful seats on the throne!

Fall Break, like its title, is a strange song. It’s a great fit for the playlist, inspiring autumnal images perfectly befitting our night of All Hallows. As a Title Track to the film however, it feels a little out of place.

As mentioned above, it seriously sounds like a sitcom theme, with a tone straight off the Silent Night, Deadly Night soundtrack. There’s nothing ominous here. In fact, it’s a rather nice love song of sorts, ringing with the hopeful promise of an Autumn getaway; beer, football, leaves, skinny dipping and fun at a beach house. In a way, I guess it’s like the beginning of a slasher movie. No fear, just fun. Maybe it’s not so out of place after all.

Speaking of the beach house, here’s a warning to all would-be college kids seeking a weekend getaway at a similar beach front condo…

If the man who owns the house has a framed picture of a guy he “accidentally” murdered with his ski boat – leave. That’s it. Just take off. Politely excuse yourself, and say “Nope. Not stayin’ here. I hope you understand, but that photo is just too much” and leave. I don’t care if dude’s there or not. Doesn’t matter. Just terminate your presence immediately.

Because this is not just any picture of the guy, mind you, it’s a photo of his actual corpse. Not the guy hanging out during better times, ya know, as a nice reminder of their friendship – it’s his dead fucking body, gore strewn, presumably only minutes after the incident.

This photo is crazy. Why does Big Ed have this picture,…and framed no less!? And why aren’t any of Ed Jr.’s friends even the least bit perturbed by this photo? It’s absolute madness.

As far as the movie is concerned, I’d say apart from a couple of pretty interesting murders staged by Anthony Show and Mark Shostrum (who would later go on to produce FX for Dream Warriors and Evil Dead 2 amongst other things) Fall Break is a rather throwaway mid-era slasher devoid of any laughs, intentional or otherwise.

There’s barely any skin and all the tension of an untied shoe, kind of like the prospect of a Fall Break. Essentially, this is a who-dun-it where you already know who-dun-it before they’ve even dun-it. What’s the point? I dunno, some cool gore scenes, I guess. Oh yeah, and an awesome title track.

Speaking of which, here it is, the best thing about Fall Break, its Peter Yellen and The Breakers with Fall Break!

 

Audio

Aerobicide/Woman On Fire

TRACK #152:

Aerobicide/Woman On Fire by Mary Hylan/Jill Colucci

For a certain type of 80’s horror junkie, Aerobicide might be a wet dream come true.

There’s a formulaic and totally telegraphed whodunit plot. There’s an impractical and ridiculously oversized safety pin as a murder weapon. There’s an awesome hard-boiled detective. There’s even awesomer private investigator played by 80’s cheeseball-badass Ted Prior. There’s cheap karate, a rake fight, nudity and no shortage of 80’s babes in workout gear getting physical.

But above all, there’s the absolutely relentless 80’s synth-pop soundtrack.

However, there are a couple injustices besetting this soundtrack.

Namely, it was never officially released. Why? This thing is great. And why hasn’t anyone resurrected  it yet? Where’s Death Waltz Records on this forgotten gem of a soundtrack?

There are rumors of promotional copies floating around that were release in ’84. It’s also said that all of the songs were released separately on 7″ vinyls by their various artists. Good luck finding any of those.

Secondly, and most unfortunately, the greatest of all these tracks is featured so briefly in the film it beggars belief. Worst of all, it’s the film’s Title Track. What? This isn’t the song played over the credits? This is the song that gets barely a minute of screen time so as we can’t even steal it properly? What cruel ruse is this?

Perhaps it can be explained by the inexplicable decision to retitle the film Killer Workout. Why would someone do such a thing? Is Aerobicide too high-concept? Too confusing? Similar to Land of the Minotaur, it’s not a bad title on its own, but when you compare it to Aerobicide, it’s no contest.

And because of that, this song should be all over this movie, or at the very least played during the credits. As a people, we need this whole song.

But, beggars can’t be choosers, so well provide what’s available of that track and just lead it into the aptly titled Woman on Fire by Jill Colucci, cause what else can we do?

On a side note, if you happen to find the voice of Jill Colucci sounds a bit familiar to you, it may be because she’s responsible for the theme to America’s Funniest Home Videos. Ok, that’s pretty weird.

For now, take what you can get and try to grab a copy of Aerobicide for yourself, which was finally made a whole lot easier last year when Slasher//Video released both a DVD and Blu-Ray of a video transfer.

Oh, and keep and eye out for this spray paint, which predates the film Death Spa by about 3 years.

Coincidence? I dunno, but these 2 would make for one heaving, sweaty double-feature.

There’s an 80’s horror fan reading this right now. Aerobicide is their favorite movie, they just don’t know it yet.

Is that reader you?

HUGE UPDATE! OCTOBER 2022!

It’s happened, Weeners. The impossible has occurred. The original soundtrack to Aerobicide has been dug up, brushed off, given a new pair of spandex and is out dancin’ in front of Rhonda’s Workout as we speak.

Thanks to the incredible sleuthing skills of Gilles Nuytens, this incredible soundtrack finally comes to life. He found them, I don’t know how, but he found them. He has apparently cleaned them up and remastered them a bit too, and they sound great. Not gonna lie, because I’ve been listening to the VHS versions for so many years, they sound a little weird; pitched a bit differently, have a slightly different tempo and sound…off. But they sound good and clean.

Gilles doesn’t quite have the full soundtrack yet, there’s still a few missing tracks, one of which appears to be Woman On Fire, so I can only update the Title Track on this double shot, but boy is that good enough for me. If and when the other songs are unearthed, you better believe this fucker’s getting the full Super Soundtrack treatment over here at The Shindig.

Having somewhat given up hope on this one, I had stopped actively looking for these tracks, imagining if they popped up, one of the big horror labels would release a pressing.

If not for the vigilance of Shindig follower Austin Popdan, we’d still be without this knowledge.

Thank you Austin, and thank you Gilles. Hearing the full version of this amazing Title Track was a fantastic moment of pure joy I was never sure I’d experience. We hope all you Shindiggers enjoy it as well.

Click below to hear…and i never thought I’d say this…the full version of…

Aerobicide!

Audio

Hauntedween

TRACK #150:

Hauntedween by Ernest Raymer

What better place to bring our Haunted House Rockin’ block to an end than here, at the Berber House with Hauntedween, a Haunted House Halloween Title Track?

While not a real haunted house, The Berber House is just a festive Haunted House, or rather a Haunt, which has hitherto been unrepresented in our block.

A staple of the season since well before I was brought to this plane of existence, The Haunted House is as much a part of Halloween as Trick-or-Treating, Jack O’Lanterns and slutty costumes.

High school kids in rubber masks weave through a thick mist of dangling limbs and fake fog, looking for their next mark.

Disorienting lights strobe to the beat of pneumatic pistons firing foam jump scares.

A chainsaw is perpetually chugging somewhere, sometimes roaring to life, but from where, you couldn’t say.

Grown adults tip-toe around dark corners, weary of things they know aren’t really out to get them.

The nervous shriek, the tough guys almost instinctively punch and the weirdos laugh uneasily.

Some are good and some are terrible, but they all have that same smell, that same vibe, the same excitement, and you should always treat yourself to at least one visit a season.

If you live around Southern California, I highly recommend Reign of Terror in Thousand Oaks. Skip Universal, Knotts and The Griffith Park Hayride, and check that place out.

Hauntedween is a low budget affair filled with that same sort of passionate home-town charm and love for the holiday you find in local Haunted Houses, and it features a killer lying in wait at just such a local Haunt. You can read The Shindig’s write-up here!

This Title Track (which it is gracious enough to give us) plays over a montage of the Sigma Phi frat boys rebuilding the old local Haunt in preparation for a holiday fundraiser to save their fraternity!

It may be awkward to say, and it may not make one bit of sense, but here it is all the same…it’s Hauntedween!

Someone’s dying to start the show.

 

Audio

Ghost Fever

TRACK #149:

Ghost Fever by Sherman Hemsley

Ok, so Ghost Fever‘s a pretty shitty movie, right?

Oh, not sure you agree with me? Go see for yourself. I’ll meet you back here in 92 minutes

Alright, so now that we’re all on the same page, let’s talk this through.

I’m not sure how much Ghost Fever you actually came down with but chances are it wasn’t so much that you’ll be requiring any antibiotics.

That being said, I love Ghost Fever. It has the distinction of being the only movie where Sherman Hemsley plays corner man to Luis Ávalos as he boxes Smoking Joe Fraizer with the assistance of Southern ghosts. Well, the only one that I’ve seen anyway.

It’s also the only movie I’ve ever seen with a break-dancing mummy.

Now, that’s pretty awesome.

All of this however does not make Ghost Fever a good movie, it just makes Ghost Fever a singular thing, and that’s worth something. Admittedly, it’s a little more than hard to sit through, but if you can get behind a poor idea executed in the poorest possible fashion, with the most eye-rolling bafoonery this side of Pandemonium, it’s a certain kind of treat.

James Ross at Badmovienite.com probably puts it best in his humorous review:

“At times it’s like a live action episode of Scooby-Doo meets the Harlem Globetrotters. Except it’s not really fun, or funny, and there are no talking dogs.”

Well, there’s definitely no talking dogs, I’ll give him that. But I’m laughing (kind of), particularly when it decides to get all batshit crazy toward the end. It’s not always the kind of laugh Alan Smithee is intending, but a laughs a laugh, right?

Oh yeah, did I mention Ghost Fever is an Alan Smithee film? That oughta give you an idea of what’s going on here.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Smithee, “he’s” a pseudonym the Director’s Guild of America allows a filmmaker to use if they feel too embarrassed by the final product and can demonstrate a lack of artistic control.

Yeah, so even actual director Lee Madden disavowed this pile. I’m not quite sure it’s that bad, nor it even so bad it’s entertaining by virtue, but it’s definitely bad, that much I can say with confidence. But, dear Weeners, it’s not without its moments and with the right amount of intoxicants and the right amount of friends with the right sensibilities, it could be the right movie.

Of course, here on The Shindig, we don’t talk about this kind of nonsense without merit or a cause célèbre and Ghost Fever (as you might imagine) has a fucking doozy.

Submitted for your Halloween enjoyment, here’s George Jefferson himself spiriting his way through a disco title track of supernatural proportions.

Cause I got Ghost Fever!

 

Audio

The Haunted House of Rock

TRACK #148:

The Haunted House Of Rock by Whodini

Trick Or Treat – what more can you possibly give The Shindig? Haven’t you given enough already? Surely there are no more Halloween delights under your thin candy shell.

Oh, but there is – a thick nougat center of Monster Rap awesomeness.

In between all the Fastway rocking of the Trick Or Treat soundtrack, tucked away so’s you might not even notice, is this curve-ball of horrific proportions. From 80’s Hip-Hop maestros Whodini comes one of the finest Monster Raps featured on The Shindig, The Haunted House of Rock.

Played during the Halloween Dance sequence, just before Roger turns the speakers over to Sammy Curr’s backwards metallic cassette, Whodini rocks a rhyme about the monsters and mayhem taking place at the titular haunted abode.

What is this song doing on this soundtrack? What is this song even doing in existence? I don’t have an answer to either question, but in both cases I’m sure glad it is.

Succeeding in just about every way Lovebug Starski’s Amityville fails, The Haunted House of Rock features an actual Haunted House propagated by a multitude of real ghouls with no sign of any Starship Enterprise crew members in sight.

Amityville only outshines it for a brief moment when Dracula raps. That’s pretty huge and should not be ignored. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Amityville and it’s ridiculously unhaunted tale, but Whodini delivers the goods in way Starski only aspires to and they remain the champs of the Haunted Monster Party Rap game.

The Haunted House of Rock may even be the champ of the Monster Rap game in its entirety. But it does have some stiff competition.

If you Iike your Monster Raps a bit more specific, Are You Ready For Freddy might be your speed. If you like them a bit more ridiculous, then maybe The Maniac Cop Rap is the winner. Or if you like your Monster Rappin a bit more whack, then The Monster Squad is just what the doctor ordered.

But for my money, when it comes to legitimacy, Whodini is holding it down with this old-school hip-hop horror hit and its inclusion in Trick Or Treat just ups the ante.

I saw everybody there, except you. Let’s change that this year.