Oct. 12th: Winterbeast (1991)

winterbeast-tempe1-vhscollector-com

I’m not sure if Winterbeast qualifies as a “Halloween” movie. I’m not even sure if Winterbeast qualifies as an actual movie, for that matter. It’s probably because 70% of the time I have absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on in Winterbeast.

What I do know is that Winterbeast rules.

Despite the word “winter” appearing in the title, you’ll be treated to a “Fall Foliage Festival,” a small pumpkin patch and a few plastic jack-o-lanterns here and there for no apparent reason. Halloween is never directly mentioned, and there’s definitely nothing particularly festive about the film, but the Foliage Festival banner claims it’s somewhere between October 11th and 12th and that’s pretty close. Besides, when you have this many awesome stop motion, B-grade-Harryhausen monsters running amuck, a couple plastic jacks and a sign work just fine for The Shindig.

As far as I can tell, Winterbeast revolves around a couple mountain rangers, a haunted totem pole, some demonic Indian mumbojumbo and a gateway to hell.

What you’ll get feels like a half-finished cavalcade of kitchen sink nonsense, awesome over-acting, a script that seems to suffer from Alzheimer’s and more plaid than you can shake a walking stick at.

Ranger Whitman’s hero-mustache game is on lock-down and his New England accent could scrape ice off a frozen windsheild. Mr. Sheldon makes for a formidable opponent in the “who can yell louder in this same argument we’ve been having for the last 40 minutes” showdown that is this movie’s plot.

The ridiculous Sheldon shows up early and takes this production to new heights, before summarily walking away with the picture entirely by the climax. Especially bizarre is his impromptu dance number to the creepiest version of “Oh Dear, What Can the Matter Be” that’s ever been committed to vinyl.  I love this dude and he’s everything that’s weird and insane and awesome about this movie.

I can’t recommend this to everyone, or even a lot of people. But there’s a certain kind of film fan out there who’s bread and butter consists of exactly the kind of low-budget, amateur madness that is the heart and soul of Winterbeast. 

But don’t take my word for it, you can just go ahead watch it yourself!

Winterbeast (1991) from Bo Ransdell on Vimeo.

I give it 2 plastic jack-o-lanterns and 4 stop motion monsters up!

Designation: Treat!

 

Oct. 11th: Ghostwatch (1992)

Back before The Blair Witch Project, Ghost Hunters or Paranormal Activity, the BBC televised this one-time event on Halloween Night in 1992. Much like Orson Welles’ 1938 Broadcast of The War of the Worlds, viewers became alarmed and then inundated the network with phone calls, unaware that what they were seeing was a pure, prerecorded fiction. One family even went on to blame their son’s suicide on the program. As such, the BBC placed a ban on ever airing it again. The power of the mind…now that’s pretty spooky.

Is Ghostwatch that believable? Well, I don’t know. I’m not British so it’s tricky for me to assess just how realistic this all feels. As an American who maybe doesn’t pick up on all the small inconsistencies, I think it comes off fairly convincingly. It’s certainly more believable than any Paranormal Activity or found footage horror film I’ve seen, but it still has moments where it falters.

I think the more appropriate question may be, is it that scary? To that I would answer “no.” Much like Paranormal Activity, the bulk of Ghostwatch’s runtime is devoted to setup. It’s interesting, but it’s not that exciting (or all that engaging) and it takes a good 40 minutes for anything beyond that setup to emerge.

Ultimately, not a whole lot happens, and what does occur is of the ghostly presence variety; loud noises, lights flickering, pictures flying off the wall, scary voices, and maybe a shadowy ghost face or two.

But like most fictions of this variety, it’s not so much what they show you as it is what they imply and what your mind does with that. How susceptible are you to this type of trickery, and how well can you detach yourself from the knowledge that it is not real will determined how much it gets to you.

I’m sure seeing this thing cold, broadcast by the BBC back on Halloween Night in 1992 would have gone a fair distance in selling that fear. Particularly if you had missed the opening and happened upon it randomly amidst the airing.

It’s gets a little eerie in spots no doubt, but your experience with Ghostwatch depends almost 100% on how much that kind of thing scares you. I couldn’t have been more unmoved by Paranormal Activity. It gave me no chills during its presentation and caused no lasting effects after. Ghostwatch left me feeling similarly.

I do think Ghostwatch is more effective, if only because it appears (at least to me) to be more believable. The trick when you’re trying to convince someone that what they are witnessing is real is perhaps that hardest to pull off in fiction, and rarely (if ever) is it accomplished. The whole illusion rests on every small moment and the minute there’s a crack in the facade, the whole trick is exposed.

This is also from 1992, so it’s gets a bit of a nod for treading these waters well before the footage gamers of the last several years. Though not presented in a typical “found footage” manner, the gimmick of a real live broadcast is maintained throughout.

It reminded me somewhat of the Tales from the Crypt episode “Television Terror” starring Morton Downey Jr., which predates Ghostwatch by about 2 years. The payoff is more like Paranormal Activity’s than the Crypt Keeper’s yarn though, that much I will say.

Ghostwatch does have the added bonus of taking place on Halloween Night. It’s not overloaded with festivities, but there’s a few reminders every now and again and it’s a nice touch.

I can’t say I enjoyed it all that much and I doubt I’ll ever watch it again, but as a horror artifact of wide acknowledgment and acclaim, I think its interesting and worthwhile and I’m glad I gave it a view. I can see why people are so found of it, particularly if they had caught its original airing.

As such, I will say that this could make for some spooky Halloween viewing for the right audience, namely people really creeped out by real life ghosts and haunted houses.

So, I’ll I give it a crawl space full of crying cats up and a

Designation: Treat

 

Oct. 10th: Halloween II (2009)

I love Halloween. Be that the holiday, the music, the decorations, or the movie itself from John Carpenter.

As such, I avoided Rob Zombie’s remake for almost a decade. I finally gave in this year though, trawling for footage to use in the montage The Shindig is currently putting together for the opening of The Art of the Halloween Mask show.

I also figured “Hell, this is a Halloween blog. How long can I keep on doing this with a clear conscience having never watched Rob’s remakes?”

Very easily apparently. And I should have kept right on doing just that.

I won’t even talk about the original here. No, this is a minor celebration of the Halloween sequel, so we’re begrudgingly adding this sequel to the mix this year.

Though I did not like Halloween II, I did enjoy it more than Rob’s original for 4 distinct reasons:

1.) It actually kind of remakes the original Halloween II, at least for the first 20 minutes or so, and it’s probably the best portion of the movie. Remake sequels never remake the original sequel, and that was cool to see. Then it has to go and reveal that’s it was all just a dream. Oh well. One can dream I guess.

2.) Aside from that, it’s its own beast, with a more original and interesting container than the box the remake bursts from and then forces itself back into.

3.) It pulls off the trick of making the dumb “Laurie is Michael’s sister” plot work…in context. It always felt like a cheesy add-on in the original Halloween II. In Rob’s version it feels organic and the depths of what that might mean are not only examined, but they are at the heart of his story.

4.) It’s more Halloweeny.

Other than that though, I can’t say there’s much here I enjoyed.

Why have they made Loomis, once a great horror hero for the ages, such a scumbaggy jerk? Is it cool to just flip the script on him? Didn’t seem cool.

Why is Michael some roided-out hobo version of Rob Zombie who barely wears his mask? And was he not Voorheesed-up enough in the original that they had to make him skulk through the woods, obsess over his mother and stand in front of an Alice Cooper poster? What’s next? Is he gonna throw on a fucking hockey mask and go to space? Michael was interesting because he wasn’t Jason Voorhees. He was stealthy and tactical, eerie and ethereal. This shit is too much.

Why is Sheri Moon just floating around robed in white with a horse haunting her family? Oh yeah, you get a definition of “white horse” at the very beginning. Oh ok, cool. That totally makes those scenes less dumb.

Why would a girl who’s suffering serious post traumatic stress over the fact that her family and friends were just murdered by a serial killer only 2 years prior have a poster of Charles Manson hanging above her bed? Moreover, why would a film that’s so hung up on this idea make the same mistake? (Big ups to my LB homie Hollie for pointing that one out, cause it’s pretty spot on.)

Why isn’t that werewolf kid just getting the fuck down in his van on Halloween with the horny-ass girl that’s dressed up like Frank-N-Furter? Shitin’ bed there, partner.

So many questions. And many more if I sat and thought about it longer.

At least it wraps the story up nicely and leaves little room for any continuation, so we can imagine the Akkad’s are done with this iteration of Michael Myers at least. But hell, you can never count out a horror sequel.

If you liked Rob’s original, you might enjoy this, however I think it may just be a bit too left of bizarre for casual fans of the remake. It’s a weird sequel, to be sure.

If you didn’t like 2007’s Halloween and have never seen this, it’s a crap shoot. I know people who hate it more and others who appreciate it more, so even then you’re on your own.

Personally, I wouldn’t recommend adding this to your Halloween lineup. Unless of course your  options are Chubbies, Killer Eye 2 or The Fear 2, then I would strongly advise grabbing this one instead. There’s at least some fun gore and some holiday appropriate atmosphere, and ya know,…it feels like an actual movie.

But sadly for me, it gets a big fat non-Don Post mask down.

Designation: Trick!

 

Oct. 9th: Frankenstein and Me (1996)

I was on the hunt for this little VHS oddity for some time, ultimately expecting to get a huge chunk of kiddie-monster cheese starring Burt Reynolds.

I was pleasantly surprised on several accounts.

First and foremost, it featured Halloween, which was completely unknown to me. That’s a serious bonus right there.

Secondly, it’s a period piece (though take that usage loosely) set in the “70’s.” Double bonus.

Thrice over, old Burt is actually pretty good here as the trucker father to a pair of imaginative young dreamers that are also huge horror nerds. Dad even scores them copies of Famous Monsters from the road and let’s them watch all kinds of cool movies. All right pops!

And lastly, the real treat tucked into Frankenstein and Me are all the loving horror sequences peppered throughout. See, Earl tells his younger brother Larry all kinds of little stories throughout the film. Each time, that story is realized visually for us, and each time it’s an awesome little classic horror-homage featuring the boys themselves and their friends, including a ridiculously young Ryan Gosling. They tackle Frankenstein, Night of the Living Dead, The Wolf Man and even Brides of Dracula. It’s awesome.

Halloween is not a big part of Frankenstein and Me, but it is an important part and it features the kids sneaking into a special Halloween screening of Night of the Living Dead at the drive-in.

Eventually, Earl happens upon the “real” Frankenstein’s Monster, which (believe it or not) falls off a truck. Earl takes the him home with designs to bring the creature back to life.

Frankenstein and Me surprised the hell out of me. I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it as much as I did, and certainly not for the reasons I did, and maybe that’s making me like it more than I should. I dunno, but if you’re in need of a family-friendly but also horror-fan friendly Halloween selection this year (and you can find it….took me some hunting and waiting) then Frankenstein and Me will more than fit the bill.

5 horror homages up!

Designation: Treat!

 

Oct. 8th: Scary Movie (1990)

Ever stood in line for a shitty, low-rent haunted house? Well, I hope you enjoyed the hell out of that experience if you’re planning on watching 1990’s Scary Movie, because about half the runtime here is gonna be just that.

One of a number of genre skeletons in the closet of academy award nominee John “I Didn’t Say Help Us” Hawkes, Scary Movie finds him waiting for, and then wandering around endlessly through said haunted house. Sound pretty scary? Yeah, it’s not, but it’s probably still more aptly titled than the Wayans’ Brothers spoof, though less so than Kevin Williamson’s original Scream script.

This is kind of similar to Hauntedween, without most of the charm or watchability. Basically a killer escapes on Halloween night and holes up in a local haunt, where he can don a mask and go undetected.

It’s sort of  fun, as it is somewhat amusing to watch Hawkes fumble around as the biggest Halloweenie moviedom may have ever produced, but there’s little here to justify much of a recommendation for anyone outside of completists. There’s really no horror, or fun characters, or much of a plot, or even that sense of low-budget love that permeates an endeavor like the aforementioned Hauntedween.

This makes for a long haul, even at 80 minutes, which is never a good sign. At the halfway point I’m pretty sure nothing has happened whatsoever, outside of the initial escape and all that waiting in line. By the end, nothing much more has happened either.

However, there’s a good amount of Halloween on display in Scary Movie and that’s really what we’re on about here. You need to be bringing one of at least 2 things to the table for a Treat designation: watchability (however abstrusely defined) or an abundance of some Halloween goodness. Scary Movie offers more of the latter than the former, but there’s some joy to be found here if you’re not too picky about your Halloween flicks.

And, despite being fairly predictable, the ending sort of lands on its feet. It doesn’t make up for how arduous it is to get there, but it’s something like a reward for time served.

It’s still early in the month, so have at it, if you’re bored, need a dose of Halloween atmosphere and aren’t feeling too discerning this October evening.

This one gets a pile of pumpkins and a tootsie roll, cause I love pumpkins and hate tootsie rolls.

Designation: Tric…er…Treat I guess…but not an emphatic one.

 

Oct. 7th: Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt (2011)

Wait, Charley Band made a Halloween movie?!

Well, despite being from 2011, which almost immediately guaranteed it’s awfulness, I decided to give it a shot anyway.

Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt, aka Meta Eye: Revenge of the Full Moon Props in a Witchy Lady’s Shitty Home Haunt, aka Annoying White Chicks Watch The Original Killer Eye Then Experience Various State of Undress is about as awful as all those titles sound and about as Halloweeny as the seasonal aisle at a CVS on November 2nd.

To be fair, there’s some genuine moments of humor when the girls are goofing on the original film, which they’ve decided to watch while “setting up” the “haunted house” of the title. This is not a haunted house, it’s just the main girl’s mom’s house. It’s not even a legit home haunt. It’s just her house and it’s not cool. It has some newish, cheeseball decorations around and a lot of Full Moon props, but that’s about it.

This all leads to a horny and perverted Eyeball prop coming to life and hypnotizing the girls to take off their clothes and pretend to make-out with each other.

Which is pretty much every 14 year old horror fan’s dream, assuming of course it’s still 1992 and the only way you can see a breast in motion is by staring intently at scrambled Spice channel feed or happening upon a Skin-a-max Emmaulle tale. Unfortunately it’s 2011 and I’m not sure who this thing is directed at. Why make this type of horror movie anymore?

When just about any innocuous Google search has the possibility of returning results that would make a harlot blush, what draw does any of this nonsense have? Beats the hell out of me. It’s certainly not the story (of which there is barely one) or the effects (which are cheap and unimpressive) or the acting (which is serviceable at its utmost best.) So it has to be the nudity, right?

This won’t even amuse lovers of bad cinema the way the original Killer Eye might. It’s too aware for all that. It’s not good, but when the product isn’t in earnest, that trick just doesn’t treat.

With the exception of clips from the original, there aren’t any dudes in this movie, so there’s that. And for what it’s worth, it passes the Bechdel Test several times over. Granted, none of those conversations are worth hearing anyway, but they qualify none the less.

As I mentioned above, this movie isn’t even bringing the Halloween. No fun atmosphere, no seasonal feel, just some shitty, non-vintage decorations scattered about.

I give this 4 tits and a shitty Full Moon prop down.

Designation: Trick!

 

Oct. 6th: Pet Sematary 2 (1992)

“Sometimes dead is better,”  Fred Gwynne’s Judd reminds us in the original Pet Sematary, and I doubt I’m the first (or even the 500th) person in the last 24 years to suggest this sequel should have just heeded its predecessor’s simple ethos.

But, from the grand and seemingly endless roster of unnecessary, forgettable and otherwise ill-advised horror sequels, Pet Sematary 2 isn’t the worst you could pull. It’s certainly not the best, but it’s definitely not the worst.

Buried underneath the rocks of its cliched continuation1, contrived plot mechanics2, goofball one-liners3 and general soul-lessness4, there rises an autumnal atmosphere that works pretty well for the season. Aided in no small part by a fun (yet all too brief) Halloween sequence at the Pet Sematary, where Edward Furlong hears the murderous tale of the Creed resurrections.

Some gory FX’s from Steve Johnson and a creepy turn from Clancy Brown make this Halloween treat a bit easier to scarf down though, even when Goose is trying to be a tough guy and John Conner is acting like idiot.

Plus, it ends with another Ramones song and that’s a pretty cool move just on its own.

I give it 1 fat Dracula and a Kurgan up,.. but a shitty knock-off Jason down. So I’ll hand it a comparative…

Designation: Treat

1  Hey, I’m a new kid in town. My mom just died and my dad’s a veterinarian…wink wink.

2  Why would you ever bury your asshole stepdad in the old Micmac grounds when your newly resurrected dog murdered him? It’s not like you’ll be in trouble. Look at the fucking corpse! You’re good. Clearly an animal did this…an evil zombie animal you resurrected by…BURYING IN THE OLD MICMAC GROUNDS! I get that the “ground” has a “pull” to it, but c’mon now. Lewis’ motivations are full of grief and guilt and sadness and loss. This is his dead son…ok, snap. This is his dead wife…but maybe he waited to long last time. It’s not a good idea, but its understandable. And why are zombie’s burying people there too? Are they trying to create a master zombie race? What the hell is going on here?

3  “Look’s like daddy got a boo-boo.”

4  See: film

Oct. 5th: Chubbies (2014)

What would you do if your uncle owned a bowling alley and you had a bunch of Boglins just sitting in the attic? Why you’d make a terrible horror-comedy in the vein of Slime-Ball Bowl-O-Rama or Ghoulies, right?

Well, that’s what these bozos attempted to do, and I can’t recommend you not watch Chubbies more this Halloween season.

In fact, if this list accomplishes only one task, my hope is that it will ward off at least 1 potential viewer from having to endure this mess in the effort to grab some Halloween themed fun. Don’t be fooled, that poster is the coolest thing this movie has going for it. Staring at it for 80 minutes would be more enjoyable that watching this movie. This movie doesn’t deserve that poster.

Chubbies is the worst sort of amateur effort; charmless, tedious, repetitive and filled to the brim with unfunny nonsense.

It’s also painfully aware of how awful it is, yet believes wholeheartedly in its own brand of foolish humor. This can land, if the jokes have a runway and there’s a fun approach. Chubbies has neither and ends up crashing into the air traffic control tower. While there were a few spots where I caught myself chuckling slightly, this business is not something I’d deem funny, and I’m fairly generous in that distinction.

I think what makes me angriest though is it that they ruined 3 perfectly good (and presumably collectible) Boglins in the process of making this.

It does get a few recommendation points for it’s bitchin’ Slasher (Acid Witch) Dave score. Another awesome thing Chubbies has and doesn’t deserve. You can enjoy this score completely separate from the film however, which I would recommend doing.

As for festiveness, well it takes place on Halloween, at a bowling alley somewhat decorated for Halloween, with a few people kind of dressed up for Halloween. In fact, one of the only bits that works here involves multiple guest dressing up as Bowie’s Goblin King. There’s some trick or treating as well, so the movie isn’t completely devoid of spirit, but it’s devoid of just about everything else.

Avoid at all cost, or you’ll have a very unhappy Halloween with the irritatingly crude and tiresome bullshit.

3 boglins down!

Designation: Trick!

 

Oct. 4th: Silver Bullet (1985)

Ya know, there’s nothing terribly Halloweeny about Silver Bullet. That’s ok though, because there’s nothing terribly Halloweeny about October 4th either, so it kind of works.

Silver Bullet does however feature the word “Halloween,” a jack-o-lantern, and the mention of trick or treaters. That’s about it. Sure, the entire climax takes place on Halloween (though technically, since Gary Busey says it’s almost 3am, it takes place on November 1st) but that climax isn’t all that steeped in Halloweeniness.

Unless of course you consider a giant fucking Werewolf blasting through the wall and starting some shit “Halloweeny.” Given the context, I kind of do. I might add that this is a horrifying thing to have happen to you on the Eve of All Saints. Rather festive as well, if I do say so myself.

Silver Bullet otherwise is a bit of a mixed bag . The performances are hit and miss, some moments have genuine tension while other feel a little silly. Carlo Rambaldi’s suit runs hot and cold as well. Sometimes the wolf looks great, sometimes not so great.

There are some pretty vicious scenes however, and the whole movie has that creepy sort of atmosphere that feels good on an chilly October night, all fog and small town Stephen Kingish.

Plus you got a drunken Gary Busey going mano y mano with a werewolf, Corey Haim on his rocket wheelchair getting run down by Big Ed Hurley, and Joe Cabot brandishing a Louisville Slugger named “Peace Maker.”

Despite its flaws, I still enjoy Silver Bullet. Maybe it’s the 80’s, maybe it’s the Gary Busey, or maybe I’m just soft on a movie that decapitates a dude in the first 2 minutes. Shit, toss in a lone Jack-O-Lantern why not. The Shindig’s game.

I’ll give it 1 Jack-O-Lantern and a Drunk Gary Busey up!

Designation: Treat!

 

Oct. 3rd: Deadly Friend (1986)

Ah Deadly Friend, one in a series of answers Wes Craven had to the question “Hey, why don’t you make another Nightmare on Elm Street film?” that didn’t really hit it off with critics or with fans. I’m not even sure this one found its legs on video or with the benefit of age, but it’s a movie I kinda dig all the same.

Mostly that has to do with BB, the Johnny-5-esque, artificially intelligent robot constructed by main character and boy-genius Paul. I love this fucking guy. He’s awesome and his voice and nonsensical dialogue are of the hilarious variety, performed as they are by Charles Fleischer, also known to the world as Roger Rabbit.

But on Halloween night, BB is destroyed by a shotgun wielding Mama Fratelli. Paul manages to save BB’s brain though and keep it for a rainy day.

That day soon appears when Sam, Paul’s next door neighbor (and object of his teen desires) is punched straight down some stairs by her dickhead father, resulting in her untimely death. What’s a budding young, love-struck mad-scientist to do?

Why he plays Frankenstein and steals her corpse, of course. He then implants BB’s CPU directly into Sam’s dead brain. How could that possibly go wrong?

While not Craven’s best, this troubled production rises above its studio and test audience tampering to become some sort of bizarre mishmash of gore, sci-fi and teenage romance that’s an (at least) interesting installment in his storied career.

It’s like watching Craven, the studio and the audience all duke it out on screen to make the movie as it’s unfolding, and the results are strange.

Is it what Wes intended? Doubtful. Is it what the studio wanted? Definitely not. Is it what audiences wanted? I dunno, but if the audience is The Shindig, we’re on board with this weirdness.

There’s not much Halloween in Deadly Friend, but that’s why we’re socking it so early in the month. There’s enough to be festive and the rest of the plot is just ridiculous enough to be an enjoyable 80’s sci-fi-horror-love-story-murder-bot romp.

Plus, Kristy Swanson is too much, lobstering-around in her robot state murdering people, not to have a good time.

I give it 1 flagrant foul and muttering robot up!

Designation: Treat!deadly-friend1

Oct. 2nd: The Fear 2: Halloween Night (1999)

Some Halloween movies only feature a small scene or two concerning the actual holiday. Some Halloween movies revolve entirely around it or take place exclusively on the Eve of All Saints. Some even go so far as to use the word “Halloween” in their title.

Few movies, however, have the balls to do this and then deliver about as much Halloween as a St. Patrick’s Day Parade (Silver Shamrock notwithstanding.)

The Fear 2: Halloween Night is one of those proud few.

Yes, The Fear 2 (as I will henceforth refer to it…without it’s bogus Halloween by-line) does technically take place on Halloween. Yes, there are people dressed up in “costumes” for a “Halloween Party.” No, despite this, it will not put you in the Halloween spirit.

Ya see, Mike’s dad was a murderous nutjob who made people reveal their deepest fears before butchering them to pieces. One Halloween, Mike saw his dad murder his own mother, and was subsequently kidnapped by him and stuffed into a trunk with Morty, the wooden Indian fear-totem which came to life in the original film.

20 years later, Mike decides to get all his friends together at the old house with Morty and enact this exact process of fear delving as a way to not become his father an exorcise those particular demons.

Yeah, it’s a bad plan. It’s also a dumb plot for a movie, one that The Fear 2 indulges in with little fanfare.

It’s not even that The Fear 2 is that bad of a movie. For all intents and purposes it’s fine. It’s not what The Fear 2 is, so much as what it isn’t. Namely, it isn’t scary, it isn’t interesting, it isn’t gory, it features no nudity and it’s isn’t even all that cheesy or fun.

They try to make Morty spew some one-liners as a last ditch effort after endless scenes of him doing absolutely nothing, but it just doesn’t have any ronic or ironic joy to it. It’s just dumb.

The Fear 2 is the worst kind of movie, a middling slog that feels too stupid to be good but just good enough to be wholly unentertaining. It’s simply there, happening in front of your eyes without engaging you in the least.

That fact that you can add it’s almost complete lack of Halloween atmosphere to the pile just makes The Fear 2 one big Halloween trick.

I’m giving this offering a cardbox box and a sheet with question marks down!

Designation: Trick!

 

Revenge of the Halloween Sequel!

Horror is certainly a genre known for rampant sequelization. Even the franchises that never got to stretch their legs into the 4’s, 5’s and beyond, typically got at least one ill-advised sequel.

This year I started noticing a little trend. For some reason, that second installment had a bizarre tendency to cram Halloween into the mix.

Why? Is it more horror-y? Is it just more fun? Is it a lazy solution to the problem of developing a new story? Whatever the reason, The Shindig certainly isn’t complaining.

This 2016 iteration of the countdown features 8 second installments, only 3 of which are sequels to already established Halloween films. If you count C.H.U.D. 2 (featured on the original 2013 lineup) that’s 6 horrors sequels that just up and decided to shove Halloween onto the menu. That’s pretty awesome.

There’s probably even more too, who knows? But 8 is good enough for us, and definitely enough to declare this list The Revenge of the Halloween Sequel!

 

Audio

Ghostbusters

TRACK #134:

Ghostbusters by Run D.M.C.

Since everyone got so pissed off this summer about the Ghostbusters remake, and even more pissed off about the new song by Fall Out Boy ft. Missy Elliot (definitely not featured on the Shindig), I thought we’d take a look at another Ghostbusters Theme reiteration that surely pissed off purists in its day.

I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again, but when it comes to Monster Raps, no movie’s got that shit on lock like Ghostbusters 2.

A prime example of this is Run D.M.C.’s Ghostbusters, which (as sacrilegious as it may sound) I actually enjoy a little more than Ray Parker Jr.’s seminal theme.

Don’t get me wrong, Ray’s original Title Track is an unrivaled classic, both for Halloween playlists and just generally speaking. It also serves as the basis for Reverend Run and Co.’s sonic sequel. This jam however is way less played-out, awesomely 8o’s in its own distinct way and just plain old fashioned ridiculous in the best way possible.

Sampled up with tons of clips of the boys bustin’ and schillin’.

You can click this glowing text to watch the official video. It’s pretty great.

So, who you gonna call?

You call the Ghostbusters, well that’s who you call!

 

ART OF THE HALLOWEEN MASK!

Sculptor, precison striker, mask-smith and full time Halloweener Mikey Rotella is bringing the Halloween Mask out of the Woolworth’s and into the Gallery at Lethal Amounts.

See!

Original Don Posts, Top Stone, Distoritions Unlimited and Be Something Studios masks. Most older than you!

Consider!

A whole plastic pumpkin’s worth of brand new, modern masks from famous mask-makers like Jordu Schell, Norman Cabrera, Pete Infelise, Graham Schofield, Wayne Anderson and more. All up for sale!

Shriek!

At the horrifying mask-related 2D art!

Gasp!

At a special Halloween montage!

and

Jam!

To musical accompaniment from the Halloween Shindig vault brought to you live by DJ Easy C!

 

It’s a Halloween Extravaganza of festive proportions for the ages!

It all starts Saturday Night

October 15th @ Lethal Amounts in L.A.

Come get your latex fix this October!

 

Check out the Official Lethal Amounts page.

and

Check in at the Art of the Halloween Mask Event Page!

 

Oct. 1st: Kenny and Company (1976)

We’re gonna kick off the season and our countdown with this fun, non-horror Halloween debut from Mr. Phantasm himself.

Before Don Coscarelli, Michael Baldwin and Reggie Bannister stared down death in the form of an inter-dimensional undertaker with flying spheres, they tackled death in a much different way with a family movie framed (no doubt quite intentionally) by Halloween.

Kenny and Company is a good-natured, casual and often amusing tale where very authentic and (actually) young kids in the 70’s do a bunch a shit you’d never see kids doing in a family movie nowadays. They build stuff, daydream, play outside, trick or treat alone, get shot at, look at nudie mags and face bullies without intervention from a committee of concerned buttinskis.

It’s also a mediation on coming-of-age while learning about death that feels loosely parallel to Phantasm.

But most importantly to us, it’s all surrounded by Halloween, culminating in a lot fun hi-jinx and ambiance as the kids go trick or treating.

Starting off with a great animated pumpkin, the film makes no bones about its Halloween intentions, but it is not a film based on Halloween itself, but rather uses it to mirror death (and Kenny’s awakening to it); the age-old ending of the seasons.

There’s nothing scary or horrific about Kenny and Company, but it’s an entertaining glimpse into an America that no longer exists. It also provides plenty of festive imagery for an autumn evening, and heralds in the the month of October nicely.

For Phantasm fans it’s should prove especially interesting to see Michael (who’s quite good here as Doug) and Reggie being directed by Don outside of their usual Tall Man adventure.

This one gets 2 Jack-O-Lanterns, a Paper mache bear head and a Bill Malone mask up. Dig in!

Designation: Treat!

Return of the 31 Days of Halloween Horror 2: Revenge of the Halloween Sequels: Trick or Treat?

Back in October of 2013, The Shindig featured a countdown of 31 Halloween-specific movies for readers to sink their teeth into.We decided it was high time to shove our hands into that candy dish once again and pull out another 31 Halloween flicks to frighten up your festivities.

31 more?

Sure. Hell, you could probably make three separate lists of 31 and still have leftovers. But the pickins are sure to get slimmer with each successive grab.

So we’re going have to dig a bit deeper this year, as most of the heavy hitters got pulled last time. And while there’s bound to be a few small tootsie rolls and some off-brand bullshit nobody wants, I’ll bet there’s still a couple of king-sized Snickers down there at the bottom.

Truth be told, there was a bunch of shitty Halloween candy down there this year and we could not pull out 31 more films we could wholly recommend. As such, we’ve decided to break up the offerings into “Tricks” and “Treats.” Some of these will undoubtedly have open wrappers and look particularly suspicious, so consume at your own risk.

Now, come on Weeners! Let’s go souling this season and see what we mummers can scare up for Samhain.

 

Audio

The Beast Inside

TRACK #133:

The Beast Inside by Dennis Michael Tenney

So it’s 1987 and you’re Kevin Tenney and you just made a crazy Halloween movie about kids getting possessed in an old abandoned funeral home.

It’s all edited; its fun, it’s funny, the gore looks great, Linnea looks great, Amelia looks great, the pacing is down, everything us shaping up to be a fine horror romp.

But something’s missing. Where’s the music?

What you need is an end credit tune that says everything you want to say in a decidedly late 80’s hard rock fashion. What are you to do?

You hire your fucking brother Dennis Michael Tenney, that’s what you do. Then you tell him “knock it outta the park bro,” because “everything’s riding on you.”

And then he gives you The Beast Inside...

…and it clears the fucking bases.

Composer of the main theme and the rest of the music from Night of the Demons that isn’t Bauhaus’ Stigmata Martyr, Dennis Michael Tenney knows his way around a hard rocking 80’s power ballad, and The Beast Inside is no exception.

It’s got the slow melodic verse followed by the chugging chorus. It’s got a weird demon voice saying “The Beast!” just before the solo tears in from nowhere. And it’s got the strangely vague yet vaguely epic lyrics.

What the hell is Dennis talking about here?

It plays more toward the figurative side of it’s double entendre that’s for sure, making a metaphor out of it’s title for the beast inside of all mankind. Then it throws in a bunch of vague cold-war anxiety just to let you know it’s being written in the mid-80’s. But if we don’t analyze it too much (which honestly, we shouldn’t even be doing) it makes for a pretty rocking coda to a movie about demon possession.

And it’s all lead in by a Halloween prick getting his comeuppance via a slice of ironic justice served up by his dear, doting wife. That’ll teach ya to shove razor blades in apples, ya old blowhole.

At #133 here’s Shindig All-Star Dennis Michael Tenney with….The Beast Inside!

 

Audio

Trick or Treat

TRACK #132:

Trick or Treat by Elvira

If you’re an Elvira fan like me, than you’re no doubt at least tangentially aware of her Halloween albums.

There are a number of them, the bulk of which feature the mistress herself singing on her own original tracks. They’re pretty great.

What you may notice however, is that while these Halloween albums feature lots of allusions to the holiday, Elvira herself only participates in songs tangentially related to Halloween itself. What gives?

If you’re like me and you administer a Halloween themed music blog, you may have even dug deep enough to find the many references to an actual Halloween song she sings called Trick or Treat. There’s even a couple of clips on YouTube of her performing the track. So where’s the damn song?

Who knows exactly, as it seems it was never officially released on any of her albums. However, The Shindig dug deeper still and purchased an episode of The Dr. Demento Show from October of 1983 that featured Cassandra Peterson as co-host.

As you’ll hear in the clip, The Doc mentions Elvira’s forthcoming album will be including original tunes, one of which they preview on the show, our white buffalo Trick or Treat. Why this never came to fruition is a Halloween legend of limited and myopic interest.

So, here it is Weeners! Enjoy.

 

Audio

Punky Punkin

TRACK: #131

Punky Punkin by Fran Allison and Ollie Fame

This strange dusty Halloween relic was written by Cy Coben and originally recorded by Rosemary Clooney (yeah, George’s Ma Dukes) back in 1950.

No disrespect to Mama Clooney but the Shindig prefers this version from 1952 recorded by Fran Allison and Ollie Fame. It’s a little sillier, a bit more up-tempo and generally more fun to listen to, in our opinion.

I always say “our.” Why do I do this? Who exactly is the “we” in this equation? I’m the only one here, so who the hell am I referring to, exactly? I think this is perhaps burgeoning psychosis, but I digress.

Looking online it seems a lot of people have memories of learning and singing this tune in grade school around Halloween.

I have no such memory.

In fact, I have no memories attached to this song whatsoever. I don’t even know when I first heard it, where I heard it or why it was even being played. It’s just been on my computer (and the playlist) for some years now, defying my temporal lobe.

I enjoy this song a great deal, though. It makes me happy when I hear it. It’s a nice little Halloween ditty that’s fun to play.

I think I may be the only one who feels this way however, for it’s a weird number that’s always sure to turn a head or two in the party crowd:

Angry Listener : “What the fuck is this? Some kinda Christmas song or some shit?”

Me: “No, but it does kinda sound like one, huh? It’s just an old Halloween song about pumpkins. It’s for kids, I think.”

Angry Listener: “Well why the fuck are we listening to it then?”

Me: “Cause it’s Halloween and we’re at a Halloween party and she’s singing about a pumpkin that’s all stoked it gets to be a Jack-O-Lantern instead of a pie. Why else?”

Angry Listener: “Oh Yeah? Well this song punkin’ sucks. In fact, it can suck my punkins. How bout that?”

Me: “Go suck your own punkins, pal. Fran Allison is a sweetheart, you hedonistic dildo!”

This exact conversation (or an entirely less confrontational version of it) has happened every year with someone listening to this playlist since Punky Punkin’s inclusion.

Maybe this will happen at your party.

Or maybe it won’t because you wouldn’t be caught dead playing this kind of bullshit at your Halloween party.

That’s fine. In fact, that’s exactly what The Shindig is here for. To be a convenient one-stop hovel of Halloween hits where we talk about and provide Halloween song suggestions you can peruse or listen to or download and add (or not add) to your own party playlist.

You can’t honesty be expected to want to add all of them. Nor could you be expected to even listen to all of them much less like all of them. We wouldn’t begin to presume such things. But they are all here, ripe for the picking this harvest season.

But seriously though, if you don’t like this song you’re probably an asshole.

 

Audio

Halloween

TRACK #130:

Halloween by Helloween

Let’s just cap off this 80’s metal block with perhaps the greatest 80’s metal Halloween track ever recorded.

If a band named Helloween didn’t have a song called Halloween, I might have to sit down with them and have real frank discussion. Fortunately, that’s not necessary thanks to this metal overture to the Eve of All Hallo’s.

Originally something like 13 minutes, I use the edited single version on the Shindig for the sake of movement. No one at your party has time for an 13 minute cautionary epic that finds time to include Charlie Brown, Linus and the Great Pumpkin. Nothing’s lost however as the song still remains a balls-to-the-wall heavy metal Halloween harangue and is essential party playlist material

Check out this single they released. Is there anything more Halloweeny-awesome then cutting your vinyl into the shape of a pumpkin and fuck all to everyone’s turntables?

This is the back image, with its sexy, high heeled and stockinged Halloween harlot leap-frogging over Jack-O-Lantern. Yep, everything checks out back here.

It housed the edited version, while the Jack-O-Lantern face held it down on the front with the 13min original. I love this thing. It’s one of the coolest vinyls I’ve ever seen.

Curiously and for no apparent reason, the edited version begins with a few notes from the old standard London Bridge, via the pan flute or some such instrument. Completely random selection? Perhaps not.

Fans of Halloween 3 (and that should be all of you) may wonder if the intro is a nod to The Silver Shamrock song, itself just London Bridge with different lyrics. And it’s possible, as the 1987 album Keeper of the Seven Keys Pt. 1 post dates Season of the Witch by 5 years, plenty of time for the German heshers to throw down referentially.

And apparently they did, according to Metal-Archives.com anyway.

User “hells_unicorn” says

 “Helloween formed and began with a concept inspired by the 1982 Halloween sequel “The Season of the Witch”, one which enjoys a rather comfortable place in my library of old VHS tapes. To this day fans chant the famous Silver Shamrock jingle when the band takes the stage, as the melody can be found in full or fragmented form on most of their studio albums.”

Well, there you have it.

Appropriately the Shindig has the Silver Shamrock song lead this fucker in.

So, do as Helloween instructs, perhaps ominously considering the reference:

“Grab your mask and don’t be late.”

But beware, cause

“in the streets on Halloween the spirits will arise. Make your choice is hell or paradise.”

So, what’s it gonna be, Weeners?

For Halloween, we treat you with Halloween from Helloween.

Happy Halloween, Weeners!