Speaking of people trapped in buildings while 80’s metal shreds behind them, let’s keep the ball rolling a make an official block out of the subject with a less overt selection from Slayer.
Gremlins 2: The New Batch is one of those rare sequels that I like better than it’s predecessor. Don’t get me wrong, I love Gremlins. The party monster originator is a bonafide classic but it’s sequel is funnier, more inventive and with its tounge firmly in cheek, delivers a clever satire of 80’s excess while moving it’s silly green menaces into more appropriate territory.
“Problems? You got a guy in there in a Dracula costume broadcasting stuff of little green monsters!”
This may be an unpopular opinion, I don’t know. Not sure which way the wind’s blowing on the Gremlins franchise, but I’m standing behind it. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s not better, but I definitely enjoy it more.
You have all types of crazy ass hybrid Gremlins, including one that talks, (featuring fantastic voiceover work of Tony Randel), a horror host, a smokin’ ass 80’s redhead, a hilarious automated building system, Christopher Lee as a mad scientist, Robert Picardo as a sleazebag, John Glover’s inspired turn as Mr. Clamp, Long Duk (where is my automobile?) Dong, Dick Miller losing his shit, Leonard Maltin being terrorized, Hulk Hogan screaming at the Gremsters and a Busby Berkly style dance number featuring a shitload of little green monsters. What more could you ask for?
“People want cold sodas! Hot popcorn! And no monsters in the projection booth!
Well, how bout some fucking Slayer?
You got it punk.
In an awesome sequence when one Gremlin decides to drink some arachnid science juice, Angel of Death blasts on just to let you know shit got real.
The Shindig hopes you have enjoyed our programming, but more importantly, we hope you have enjoyed…life.
I wanted to keep the Demons train rolling and mash-up Boddy Rhodes’ Hank from Demons 2but that soundtrack kinda sucks. Save for Rainby the Cult and some fun scoring, it’s a pretty lame horror soundtrack and is almost completely useless to The Shindig.
“Take this! I’ll hang onto this!”
They opted to go all new wave gothy with the sequel and while I love The Cult (perhaps the only rock outfit on there), I tried it out and Rain just isn’t ballsy enough for all of Bobby’s shouting.
You know what is?
Accept.
They got their balls to the wall, as it happens. So I decided to cheat a little.
Bobby Rhodes is just too good to leave in the lurch because of an inferior soundtrack and the original Demons has too good of a soundtrack not to double dip.
So we’re gonna bust out a Demons double shot for ya. Here’s Accept’sFast As a Shark from Demons 1 sampled out with tons of from shit from Hank in Demons 2.
Horseshoes and hand-grenades as far as The Shindig is concerned.
Perhaps better suited to a giallo than a supernatural tale of possession, Fast As a Shark is still a pretty awesome track for any horror movie, full stop. Delivering its somewhat moot warning while letting you know just how royally fucked you are. Holy shit.
And to cap it all off they’re just putting you on blast:
“Now it’s your time.
A loser will die.”
Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence Accept.
As for Demons 2, it’s pretty much the same damn movie, only everyone’s stuck in an apartment complex and the creatures emerge from a TV broadcast instead of a film.
There’s more characters, spreading the action around a little more but dragging the pace down a bit. Obviously, Bobby Rhodes is back, this time in the form of physical trainer Hank. He’s a more stand-up cat and a much better leader, otherwise he might as well just be Tony The Pimp in sweatpants.
There’s even another group of time-sensitive teens driving around trying to get to the main location. Yeah, it’s pretty much the same movie. Except, ya know, for its shittier, non-metal soundtrack.
It’s also little sillier around the edges with a few children, including a very young Asia Argento.
One of these little fuckers actually turns into a demon, which itself is pretty cool. That is until this winged gremlin-like ghoulie-thing tears out of his stomach. Again, kinda cool when it happens, but then it starts chasing the pregnant woman all around. That gets a bit clowny.
The additional characters make the chaos a bit little less focused. There’s the couple stuck in the elevator, the lady with her demon dog, Sally and her birthday partiers all dealing with different levels of demonoid phenomenon.
Meanwhile, Hank and some of his gym-short meat-heads are holding it down in the parking garage, flipping cars, tossin’ molotovs, busting up demons with axes and gunning down possessed fools left and right.
As horror sequels go, it’s not bad. It sticks to the formula pretty stringently, offering up the same basic premise while upping the ante just enough. And like most sequels, it fails to outdo its predecessor. But honestly, if they keep calling forth demons and letting Bobby Rhodes miraculous return to battle ’em back, The Shindig it’d be all over it. Unfortunately the Demons saga gets all fuckered after part 2.
Lamberto directed The Ogre in 1988, which was widely released as Dèmoni 3. It is not. Similarly, Umberto Lenzi directed Dèmoni 3 (aka Black Demons) in ’91. This is also not Demons 3.
Officially, Demons 3 is Michele Soavi’s 1989 movie The Church(aka Cathedral of Demons or Demon Cathedral) which, while pretty badass, doesn’t necessarily feel like a Demons movie either. Though after a sinister crypt it opened, the titular church does seal itself shut much like in the earlier Demons outings.
But, we fans still get all the Bobby Rhodes-Demon-action we can from the original double-header. So come on Weeners, MOVE IT! MOVE IT!
Ah Demons, how I love thee. Let me count the ways.
This awesome Italian gore-fest from Mario Bava’s son, Lamberto, might not live up to his father’s catalog in the masterful film making department, but what it lacks in finesse it more than makes up for in kick-ass gore effects, hilarious dubbing and general balls-to-the-wallsery.
The setup is simple. Unsuspecting movie-goers attending the premiere screening of a new horror film become possessed by the same evil unfolding on the screen. Cue crazy demon madness.
What I love most about Demons(is not, bizarrely enough, it’s soundtrack) but Bobby Rhodes’ pimp-hero, Tony. Or rather, I should say whoever dubbed him in English. They’re both awesome and the two form together like the Wonder Twins to create something even more awesome.
My pal Mikey, who met Bobby Rhodes at Fangoria’s Weekend of Horrors some years ago, said he has this really thick Italian accent and it was strange to hear that voice coming out of his face. Here’s a picture. Mikey is appropriately pumped.
Cause Tony is the fucking man and he provides us with some of the greatest get-it-done, no-nonsense tough-guy horror movie bullshit ever committed to the screen. He’s seriously one of my favorite horror heroes of all time and though he dies about halfway into the proceedings, he (or rather Bobby and the awesome guy who dubs him) return in a more noble fashion for Demons 2. Double bonus.
What I love second about Demons is its unrelenting gore-soaked effects from maestro Sergio Stivalleti. The movie is caked in oozing liquids, green foam and nasty teeth. The demons look mean and scary as hell while they mercilessly rip the unsuspecting movie-goers to shred.
Coming in third is the soundtrack. It’s a serious 80’s metal bash and exactly what you want from a horror soundtrack: Accept, Saxon, Motely Crue, Billy Idol, hell there’s even a random Rick Springfield song in there for good measure.
So, with all those heavy hitters then, why choose Pretty Maids? Well, first thing is Night Danger fucking rules and is exactly the kinda rocking 80’s metal storm the Shindig needs to follow up the King.
Secondly, it’s all Satany and badass.
Thirdly, it’s front and center in the film, right as all the demon shit hits the fan.
Spliced with tons of samples from Tony the Pimp cause fuck yeah.
It’s time once again Weeners for the King of Halloween himself, Mr. King Diamond.
Sure, this song isn’t really about Halloween or even Trick or Treating for that matter, but the King is playing a game called Trick or Treat and damn it if that’s not good enough for the Ole Shindig.
Ever the theatrical, King Diamond’s catalog consists mostly of concept albums, as the majority tell very detailed and horrific stories. Why no one has turned one of these into a movie yet is beyond me. There’s a couple of real good ones.
In particular, the gem from which our next tracks hails, 1996’s The Graveyard.
The Graveyard tells the story of an unnamed King Diamond character who is wrongfully committed to a sanitarium by Mayor McKenzie. Seems King used to work for the him and one night happened upon the The Mayor molesting his own daughter. Yikes.
So the Mayor cooked up a story and tossed King Diamond into the meat grinder.
After years in Blackhill Sanitarium losing his mind, King kills a nurse, escapes and takes refuge in The Graveyard, where he begins to plots his revenge. He also murders some other people and becomes obsessed with the idea of a person’s soul living inside its decapitated head forever, but mostly it’s the revenge he’s interested in.
And that’s where we join our story…
King has kidnapped the Mayor’s daughter Lucy and buried her alive in one of seven graves. Mayor McKenzie has 3 tries to discover which grave is holding Lucy or he will murder them both…
::my best John Kassir impression::
…in a little game the King is calling…Treat Or Treat…yeeehahahahaaaaa.
Fred Krueger the myth or Fred Krueger the man? It doesn’t matter cause they’re still rappin’ bout him, understand?
The lesser heralded of the 2 official Freddy rap songs, I feel Are You Ready For Freddyis superior to Nightmare on My Street for several good reasons:
It’s The Fat Boys and they’re cooler than Will Smith any day of the week.
It’s officially from a Freddy movie (Part 4: The Dream Master)
It’s less generic about it’s Freddydom, as multiple Elm Street films are referenced and sampled.
It actually features Robert Englund rapping as Freddy, as opposed to whoever the hell is rapping on the DJ Jazzy Jeff track.
2020 Update to this bullet point!
According to Hip-Hop Historian Werner Von Wallenrod, the Freddy inA Nightmare on My Streetis actually Ready Rock C! So that’s pretty cool.
Additionally, it is Werner’s assessment this is NOT Robert Englund rapping on TheFat Boy’s track. While my instincts tell me this is Englund, due not only to his appearance in the video, but also the almost unmistakable quality of this Freddy voice, Werner has a compelling basis for his assertion.
It seems no pressing of this track actually credits Robert Englund as being a performer. Now, one might be inclined to think Robert would certainly be credited, if not even require being credited, if this was, in fact, him. Case in point: the 1987 album Freddy’s Greatest Hits 100% credits Robert Englund as providing the Freddy voice. In fact, it goes so far as to credit him as “the creator” of that voice. Robert probably has something of this nature dialed right into his contract, no doubt.
That album, being released a full year before Are You Ready for Freddy, sets a pretty clear precedent. The 12″ single for Are You Ready for Freddy and the The Fat Boy’s album, Coming Back Hard, which features the song, both include a special thanks to “Freddy Krueger.” But, that isn’t terribly compelling.
Wikipedia, which also isn’t necessarily compelling on its own, does credit Robert Englund as performing the Freddy voice. However, that article is itself citing a Rolling Stone article on the lawsuit between Jive Records and New Line Cinema regarding A Nightmare on My Street. Again, not super compelling, but that is Rolling Stone, for whatever that’s worth.
I think Werner has a good point, and there doesn’t seem to be much out there to roundly disprove his theory. In my heart, I think I want to believe this is Robert, so I’m clinging to the idea that it is. But the truth is still out there, and you better believe if I ever see Robert Englund again at Monsterpalooza, I’m definitely asking him that shit.
Now back to our regularly scheduled post!
And if that wasn’t enough, lines like
“With a hat like a vagabond
Standin’ like a flasher
It’s Mr. Big Time, Fred Krueger
Dream crasher”
make all the difference in the world.
Freddymania is in full swing here in 1988 and the series has finally degraded into pure schillery. Freddy is a trade-able commodity now, like pork bellies or silver. He starts hitting the talk show circuit, making music video appearances and hanging out in the windshield of cars.
I actually own this, and it’s fucking awesome.
A double-edged sword no doubt, as it’s exactly this kind of boardroom buffoonery that gives us such an awesome track as Are You Ready for Freddy (and my equally awesome sun-shield.)
But in terms of the movie, well viewers paid the price. Freddy’s crackin’ wise, sportin’ sunglasses and eatin’ pizza like some damned Ninja Turtle. Ceasing to be at all frightening and with the cleanest sweater I think he’s ever worn, Freddy’s less your dirty old dream diddler and more your pal. Hell, he’s brought back from his “grave” by the fiery urine of Kincaid’s dog Jason. Yeah, it sets up its jackassery early and securely.
But I enjoy The Dream Master for much the same reason I enjoy Freddy’s Dead: I love Freddy as a character (either scary or silly) and it’s just a ridiculous piece of horror film making.
Plus it has this song.
Which, interestingly enough, has an alternate version. There was a second, longer version of the track cut for the 12″ single. What? Now that’s the kinda shit The Shindig lives for.
So why isn’t that the featured track? Well, to be honest, I don’t like it as much. It’s a bit slower, the beats a little different and there’s a bunch of extra incidental sounds tossed all over it. It’s kinda weird.
Plus, it cuts out Freddy’s original rap at the end! What?! You get an alternate, almost spoken-word outro from The Dream Crasher, which is fun but just isn’t quite the same.
However, it does feature some pretty fantastic extra verses in the middle where The Boys detail the plot from the original Elm Street and talk about Freddy more. And there’s more samples from the original Elm Street thrown in for good measure. Bonus.
It may not be Harry Manfredini’s classic arrangement, but his Theme From Friday The 13th Part 3, as performed by Hot Ice is as bad news as any horror theme you can throw at me.
Spooky, synthy and down right Halloweeny, it’s one of my favorite horror themes ever. Even those partiers unfamiliar with its origins won’t question this instrumental inclusion on your Halloween playlist, so perfectly suited is it.
With it’s creepy theremin-like lead and that thumping bass-line, Hot Ice delivered the goods with a theme befitting Jason’s true debut.
In contrast to the previous entries, we finally start to see the killer in full stalk mode, as the producers set the table for how future installments will play. Mystery and surprise are bypassed, and tertiary characters are added merely as colorful cannon fodder.
More importantly though, Jason himself takes center stage and acquires the trademark mask with which he will forever be associated. Also, he develops this awkward and lumbering stature here, which combine to present one of my favorite versions of the character. I love this Jason. After this, he becomes a bit more consciously menacing and deliberate in his movements.
Originally presented in 3D, its a little gimmicky and the effect doesn’t really enhance the kills it seeks to enliven. Overall, they’re a hit and miss affair, but there are some solid and memorable ones along the way.
Jason’s first hockey mask adorned kill is a great example of a miss, though.
Being initially mistaken for Shelley would have been a good excuse for him to get up close and deliver a kill worthy of his new appearance.
Instead, keeping the audience at a distance and exploiting the 3D gimmick, he fires a harpoon from across the dock, and it feels a little lazy. At least he looks like a badass tossin’ the gun down.
Ultimately though, his final battle with Chris is great and features some of the series’ most iconic images.
Not the least of all is this, one of the few moments in all of Part 3 where the 3D is exploited to wonderful effect. This is arguably the most iconic image of Mr Voorhees, and it’s truly one of my favorites.
Then, if that wasn’t enough, you get this requisite Friday Dream Stinger, which for my money, is one of the scariest moments in the entire franchise.
You combine all of that with this perfectly suited theme from Hot Ice, and you’ve got a Friday for the ages.
The last time I checked this was a fucking shindig.
But what is a shindig, exactly?
Well, Merriam-Webster defines shindig as follows:
ˈSHinˌdiɡ/ noun informal
a social gathering with dancing
a usually large or lavish party
Google definitions had this to add:
a large, lively party, especially one celebrating something.
Now, if you listen to any of the turkeys over at Urban Dictionary, they’d all have you believe a shindig is a small affair, consisting of anywhere from 5 to 20 people. One bozo even suggests it can contain no more than 12!
That’s why Webster’s is Webster’s and these idiot kids are logged into Urban Dictionary from their mom’s laptop.
No one better try curtailing our shindig, particularly not because some dildo in the cafeteria uses it improperly. No, we’re going definitive with our socially lavish and lively gathering that’s celebrating something.
And around here, that something is Halloween, which encompasses jack-o-Lanterns, trick or tricking and and all sorts of spooky shit of a generalized nature. That definitely includes Monsters.
From Hanna-Barbera’s 1965 record of the same name, Monster Shindig looks to muscle in on Boris Pickett’s racket by throwing their characters Super-Snooper and Blabber Mouse into the mix, stumbling upon just this type of haunted jamboree.
The cat and mouse team doesn’t show up in the song however, leaving this bizarro tune free to roam around the streets on Halloween night.
So, let’s have a party…big big big and kick-off the second half of our playlist right, with another kind of shindig, performed here by Danny Hutton, who some of you may know as one third of Three Dog Night.
Elvira’s albums are chock full of the Vinyl Vixen bullshitting between songs and giving everybody audio hard-ons.
For many years I have used this spoken word outro from Vinyl Macabre as a way to split the playlist in two.
As of last count The Shindig clocked in at 240 tracks, making This Is Halloween the last track on “side one.”
Should the playlist grow in length (as it always seems to) I’ve decided to let this bumper be its own track so it can float to wherever that halfway point should fall in the future.
So we’re officially halfway through the playlist, gang!
If that sounds daunting and just makes you feel tired then go shit in a hat, bub. All you have to do is wait and listen. I’m doing all the heavy lifting over here, so if anyone should fell tired, it’s me. And I do, as I’ve fallen asleep during a total of 10 movies this October. My horror stats for this month are at an all time low.
If you’ve been following The Shindig for any reasonable amount of time then you may have noticed I hardly ever mention A Nightmare Before Christmas. In fact, aside from that post-Halloween gif I reblogged last year, I’ve never mentioned it before. There’s a couple of good reason for this.
One of them is that there is certainly no shortage of love shown to Tim Burton and Henry Selick’s 1993 stop motion classic around the web, especially within the Halloween circles this blog runs. I’ll wager you could recreate the film pretty handedly from just the gifs on Tumblr alone. Everyone knows it, everyone loves it. No sense in beating a dead horse, the way I see it.
More directly though, it has never been a movie I typically associate with Halloween. Sure, Jack The Pumpkin King, Halloweentown and all of that, but for me the film has always been a decidedly Christmas affair. Fuck, the word Christmas appears in its title. That’s an automatic disqualification from any Halloween movie list as far as The Shindig is concerned.
However, as everyone is well aware, the first 10 minutes or so before Jack happens into Christmastown are about as Halloweeny as as it gets, aided in no small part by this fantastic song from Halloween Hero and Shindig All-Star Danny Elfman.
It’s one of the most Halloweeny songs ever committed to film or record period and any Halloween playlist would be remiss not to include it. And whenever that claim comes down the pipe, The Shindig abides.
That’s it. That’s pretty much all there is to say.
I’m gonna say more, naturally, but I thought it was worth noting that that’s all anyone really needs to say.
“Thriller. That’s what’s next.”
“Oh, ok. Sure. Of course it is.”
If anyone at your party has a reaction any less than the one I’ve described above, they don’t deserve to be celebrating Halloween. Take their mask, steal their candy and egg them back to the Stone Age.
The last time I checked (which was yesterday) Thriller was still the biggest selling album of all time. What? That’s crazy. It’s 33 years old, how is that still true? It’s cause it’s Thriller, that’s why.
For no mere mortal can resist…and so on and so forth. Probably some horrible music industry warlock bullshit, you ask me. Stick that into your Google and search it.
But I digress.
Thriller’s reach far extends that of the horror genre, Halloween or this playlist. It literally extends to just about anyone who ever lived on this planet during the last 33 years and has functioning ear drums. That’s how huge it is. It’s the biggest thing on this playlist. It’s the biggest referential track ever recorded. How? How was such a niche song this fucking huge?
Well, I’d say it’s more the album than the song itself. Both Billie Jean and Beat It trump it in the singles department, no question. Thriller itself never hit number 1, staying in the Billboard 100 for 14 weeks but topping out at number 4.
You could make an argument for Ghostbusters being a bigger hit, as it was legitimately a number 1 record. But I’d say that’s about it. Nothing else comes close. Though as much as I love Ray Parker Jr.’s Title Track (definitely the biggest Title Track ever recorded) it’s not quite Thriller. Though both were contemporaries that changed the way music was conceived, created and sold, Thriller still has a little something extra. That extra is no doubt Michael Jackson. Though that’s to say nothing of the video, revolutionizing the young media form and setting a standard I still think has yet to be matched.
From Rick Baker’s werewolf transformation to his zombies, to the choreography, to the eerie quality with which John Landis imbues the whole proceedings. It’s unmatched and a Horror fan’s dream video.
And it scared the living shit out of me as a kid. Having greater access to the Thriller video than most horror movies, it absolutely haunted me. The werewolf transformation was an initial jolt. Then Michael suddenly becoming a zombie just fucked me up. What!? He was just singing to her, now he’s a zombie?
Though even more terrifying was that once the music stopped, the horror movie started. The girl taking refuge in the abandoned house and Michael and his zombie horde busting through every inch of it to get at her. He was just Michael Jackson! They were friends! Now he’s trying to kill her! That level of broken trust rocked my young mind.
Ah, but it was all a dream! There’s Michael. “What’s the problem?” He asks. A sigh of relief washes over me. It’s all ok.
But then, the absolute kick in the nuts. Finally, once I feel at ease again, there he is, turning around and looking dead at me with those fucking werewolf eyes. Holy shit….it’s not ok. Freeze frame. And a child’s nightmares were born. It still sends a little shiver up my spine every time I see it, all these years later.
The 3D Viewmaster I had as a kid didn’t help either. Remember Viewmasters? They looked like this:You held it up to the light and clicked through a wheel of stereoscopic photos.
We had a giant, Talking Viewmaster that looked like this: It was cool pretty cool. The wheels were larger, scan-tron like cards and had audio accompaniment. For this Talking Viewmaster, we had this:
A few Christmas’ back, my mother had pulled the old boy out for my nephews to play with. I hadn’t seen it in years. I immediately recalled my youthful terror and scrounged for the Thriller cartridge. I needed to see it; the image that haunted me all my life.
Sure as shit it was there. And sure as shit, it still gave me the creeps. Holding it up to the light, I perched my phone as close to the eyepiece as possible. I needed to capture this.
Holy shit.
As an adult, It’s obvious to me that Ola Ray and Michael are clearly having fun and chuckling to themselves while taking these photos. Fright is at a minimum, but damn it if that wasn’t the scariest shit I ever saw when I was 7. I had to flick passed. Nope. Couldn’t handle it. Still trips me out. But anyway, back to the actual song. Of course you have Vincent Price, adding his singular voice and an air of authentic late-night 50’s horror double-feature flair to the entire affair. That mixed with the lyrical references and allusions all wrapped up it a supremely dance-able 80’s rhythm that no mere mortal can resist.
Each one of these facets gives Thriller its collective undefinable quality. And it’s a quality that all understand, as everyone at your party is about to dance. Seriously. I don’t care who they are or what they’re doing; drunk, high, tired, newly arrived, mid-conversation, about to leave, taking a piss – don’t matter. Just watch your guests, this song comes on and people flip the fuck out. It might take a second for everyone to register what’s happening, but once it does, that’s the ballgame, jack. Maybe it’s all that warlocking.
Leaving this one off your Halloween playlist is absolutely unconscionable. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that If you asked 10 random people on the street for just 1 song they associate with Halloween, I guarantee every one of them will name Thriller.
The Time Warpby Richard O’Brien, Patricia Quinn, Nell Campbell and Charles Gray
You all know the moves, most assuredly, because you all know the song and the musical it originates from, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, all too well.
It’s just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right. Pretty simple shit honestly, but here’s a diagram anyway. Act like you know. Halloween is inexplicably associated with Rocky Horror. I may never understand exactly why, within the larger culture, these 2 things are so entwined but VH1’s Halloween showings of it in my youth have forever bonded them together in my own consciousness. Perhaps that’s the case for a lot of people.
According to the production however, the laboratory sequence and Rocky’s creation were filmed on the 30th of October in 1974. So there’s that and that’s pretty Halloweenish, not that Rocky Horror really needed any justification.
The most well known, oft played and Shindigable track is the bizarre inter-dimensional dance craze that was all the rage on Transsexual in the galaxy of Transylvania.
Is it about sex? Probably, everything else in Rocky Horror appears to be. Or perhaps it’s more literal, as they use a time warp to transport themselves back to Transexual. Maybe it’s both.
I’ve heard it interpreted that Riff Raff’s initial verse is about feeling horny and then orgasming. Magenta’s solo describes the viewing of pornography or perhaps a more direct for of voyeurism, while Colombia’s solo is a depiction of a rape scenario. Dunno if I cotton to all of that exactly (particularly since Colombia doesn’t seem to mind all that much) but it’s as solid a read of the songs intentions as anyone could ask for. And of course, there’s all that pelvic thrusting.
Whatever the hell the Translyvanian’s are on about, it’s certainly getting them riled up and causing them to dance like buffoons all over the place, just as you should be doing at your Halloween party right…about…now.
The Monster Mashby Bobby “Boris” Pickett and The Crypt Kickers
Around Halloween, dozens of internet outlets will cough up a dozen or so songs they think you ought to play at your Halloween party. The more enterprising sort might even toss you a couple you didn’t think of or haven’t heard before. The too-cool-for-ghoul-school nitwits’ll even attempt to buck convention with some underground hits which barely qualify and have little to no business playing at your party.
Invariably though, most Halloween playlist fakers tell ya the one thing you should never even consider playing at your party is The Monster Mash; so horrifically lame, so dreadfully passé.
I read one list that even had the audacity to claim it didn’t conjure up any feelings of fright. Are you serious? It’s a novelty song…about a bunch of monsters…having a party. Of course it doesn’t conjure up any feelings of fright you fuckin’ nimrod, it’s a joke.
They also went on to suggest I play Disturbiaby Rhianna.
They shouldn’t be allowed to make Halloween party playlists and they certainly shouldn’t come up on the first page of a Google search.
Moreover, they included The Freaks Come Out At Night by Whodini. Who-fuckin-Dini! They have a song called The Haunted House of Rock, which is played at a Halloween Dance in a movie titled Trick Or Treat. F minus to your bullshit suggestions.
These people are idiots. Don’t listen to them.
Is The Monster Mash played out? Of course it is. It’s 50 fucking years old and the only time anyone ever plays it is at Halloween.
Can you’re Oct. 31st spare 3 and half measly minutes for The Monster Mash? Yes it can and you should take off your fucking mask in reverence for the Halloween National Anthem. The fucking heathens…..skip The Monster Mash….skip your passing interest in a holiday that didn’t need your bogus suggestions. Can’t even find The Shindig in a Google search on the matter and I get these bozos telling me to pass on The Monster Mash.
Ok, if you’re offering up 10 suggestions, I can seeing glazing over it in lieu of a few songs that people are less familiar with. Should have made it 13 songs and showed a little class. Even still, what’s 13 songs? You throwing a party for an hour?
Saw a list of 25 once. Could have just made it 31 and been a bit more festive. Still ain’t handling the job of party DJ.
That’s why Halloween Shindig exists, to rebuke these johnny-come-latelies and offer up a list of serious suggestions; to encompass all and handle the task at hand. Does anyone need a 12 hour Halloween playlist? Probably not but it’s here and growing longer each year. I hope to one day have 24 hours worth so your Halloween couldn’t possibly fit anymore music.
You only need to fill 4 hours? We’ll hook you up 3 times over again. Only want a party filled with Monster Raps? No problem. Here’s 2 hours worth.
Is Love Is A Lie very Halloweeny? Not at all but it’s in Friday 4 when Crispin Glover dances like an idiot and that’s the kinda Halloween party some people are throwing. Not your Shindig? There’s 230 other songs to pick from but it should be represented, just like The fucking Monster Mash should be represented.
To hell with your non-festive, non-referential garbage pop. Play that shit at your wedding. Tonight is Halloween and you should be playing the goddamn Monster Mash.
Since we all know and have just addressed with whom you’d contact over telephone wires should it become apparent that you in fact have harmful apparitions approaching, let’s task listeners with a similar question:
Yeah, but who do you call when you have Monsters?
That’s right. And at last we come to The Monster Squad. From the very first CD in 2002, The Monster Squad has been a permanent fixture of Halloween Shindig and remains one of my favorite selections on the playlist.
Granted, I may be a bit biased but this song is representing hard. Let’s check the stats:
Is it about a horror movie?
Check, it’s about the goddamn Monster Squad.
Ah, yes, but is it in the movie?
In it? Motherfucker, it’s the Title Track. Triple check that shit.
We talkin’ bout Monsters?
Fuck yeah we are. It’s like a goddamn monster mash up in this motherfucker. Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, the Wolfman, the Mummy, the Creature from the Black Lagoon. That’s the big five, son. Throw in some sexy vampire chicks, a grotesque bat transformation and a werewolf exploding out of the sky and you’ve got some real monster shit on lock. Check + to Monster Song.
What more could you ask for? Well, they even mention Halloween too. Sure, it’s to illustrate how this ain’t Halloween (or some phony deal) but we’ll just look that other way on that one. They say Halloween and damn it if that ain’t all that matters sometimes.
Now all of that sounds like a Referentially Inclusive Monster Halloween Title Track to me, gang.
And it’s a Monster Rap to boot? Holy shit, is there anything this song can’t do?
One of the most ridiculous tracks you can imagine, The Monster Squad was suspiciously recorded by some anonymous collective of Hip-Hop Demigods that chose to remain nameless. What?!
Why the hell anyone would elect to do this is so far beyond the scope of my imagination it boarders on madness. If I was responsible for this song I’d put it on every job application I ever filled out.
2 years as an Assistant Hanger Inspector for Sears and Roebuck.
4 months as a Substitute Wigsmith at The Downtown Clownery.
Oh yeah and I wrote the motherfucking Monster Squad Rap. What’s up?
From a time when everyone thought something like this was a really great idea, The Monster Squad (for anyone thinking otherwise) is a really great idea.
It’s is pretty whack? Yeah, I guess so. If you wanna be a jerk about it.
Is it poorly conceived and equally executed? Yeah, I suppose I’d have to concede that fact too, if you really want this to be a frank discussion about musical integrity.
But fuck that discussion and fuck you for wanting it pal, cause this song fucking rules. It’s a rap song about a group of kids fighting The Universal Monsters. Oh, did you not catch that? It’s a rap song about a group of kids fighting The Universal Monsters. Whomever is responsible for this song should be a cultural icon. They should have a fucking Grammy and an Academy Award.
Instead, (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing took the honor that year. All right, fair enough. Maybe that’s a better song, but it lacks the lyric:
“We don’t wanna hang with the walking dead, so we gotta kick some monster butt instead.”
What’s up now, Academy of Arts and Sciences?
Looking into this travesty further, I discovered the competition that year was actually pretty stiff. Check this shit out:
“Storybook Love” by Willy DeVille and Mark Knopfler from The Princess Bride
Damn, that’s a solid 80’s line-up right there. Maybe I spoke too soon. Still, it should have been nominated at the absolute least. Who the hell is still talking about Cry Freedom 26 years later?
No one, that’s who.
But I digress.
An interesting side note to this song: the original version I had on the 2002 CD was pulled from my old VHS copy of Monster Squad. Incidentally, this was later signed by Tom “The Gillman” Woodruff Jr. Coincidence? I like to think not.
This version of the song contained the line:
“First came Dracula, now the Wolfman too, The Mummy and the Gillman swimming in the pool.”
What? Why did that roll call just fall the fuck apart?
Hear that sample below:
I always thought this was a pretty strange and horrendous line, particularly when they could have just as simply said “and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.”
But I guess they couldn’t say “and the Creature from the Black Lagoon,” for the home video release. Damn copyrights.
All things considered, that’s not a bad save. Syllabically sound, it even sort of rhymes, at least no more or less than the original false rhyme. But damn is it silly. Who the fuck is the Gillman? Why are they calling The Creature from the Black Lagoon “The Gillman?” And why is he in the pool? Did I miss a scene where he climbs out of a pool? Why did he just say that?
Upon upgrading the tune for better quality many years later when The Monster Squad finally saw a DVD release, I noticed the line was suddenly changed to “and the Creature From The Black Lagoon” and I thought “Shit, that must have been the original lyric. How about that.” Now, I just feel sort of nostalgic for the old, butchered scab.
But I’ve spoken too verbosely about all of this as is, so let’s just make with the goods, huh?
One of my favorite songs on the playlist from one of my favorite movies of all time. Here it is….The Monster Squad.
Is there a more well known or loved Title Track than Ray Parker Jr.’sGhostbusters? Probably not. Which explains why you’re guaranteed to hear it multiple times around Halloween and The Shindig is obviously no exception.
A certified hit, Ghostbusters spent 3 weeks at #1 on the Billboard charts in August of 1984 and it’s no wonder. This catchy number is spooky, danceable and unrelentingly 80’s.
And the video, one of the first cross-media promotional blitzes of its kind, is something to behold. With Ray creeping it up in a weird, minimalistic, neon house, The Ghostbusters themselves dancing down Broadway with him and a collection of the most bizarre cameos ever assembled, it’s pure Reagen-Era cheese.
Seriously, what the fuck is Peter Falk doing in the Ghostbusters video? Chevy Chase, John Candy, Al Franken, hell even Danny Devito all make some sort of sense. But then up pops Columbo and what the fuck? Yeah, it’s pretty 80’s.
The song itself wasn’t something Ray Parker’s people were at all interested in having Ray sing. Keep in mind, the movie wasn’t even released yet, much less a success.
“So wait, you want our smooth, panty droppin’ Ray Parker Jr. to sing about fuckin’ ghosts for,…what’s this fuckin’ thing called again? ‘Ghostbusters?’ Yeah, that ain’t happening, pal. You can take a hike with that business.”
It’s an understandable reaction. But Ivan Reitman managed to convinced old Ray it’d be a hit and damn it if the guy wasn’t right on the money. The popularity of the movie and this song are completely unmatched.
Now, indelibly woven into the fabric of American pop culture, I’m not sure anyone can ever utter a phrase even close to “who you gonna call?” without some dickhead shouting “Ghostbusters!”
Yeah, that same phrase everyone probably thought sounded pretty stupid before the film blew up like 2 tons of marshmallow all over 1984.
But when something’s this big, people start to pay attention. Maybe a little too closely.
First and foremost you have Huey Lewis suing Ray Parker because he reckoned Ghostbusters sounded a bit too much like I Want a New Drug for his liking. A settlement was reached that Ray still isn’t at liberty discuss on record.
Then you have The Screen Actors Guild getting all bent outta shape due to these cameos and the non-unionized status of the fledgling music video industry.
There’s also a copyright issue regarding the video which has kept it off every subsequent home release of the film, nearly causing the video to be lost forever. Chalk another one up in the win column of the Internet for that.
And still further, there’s even more nonsense over the title with subsequent animated versions of The Ghosbusters, but we’ll delve into that one a little further down the playlist.
For now, let us and your guests revel in what is perhaps the most popular and crowd pleasing song The Shindig has to offer.
Referential hits, spooky themes and inclusive Rock ‘N Roll are all well and good, but nothing really captures the spirit of The Shindig quite like a straight up Halloween jam.
And psychobilly spooksters Nekromantix (a name which itself is referential) have just the jam the mad doctor ordered.
Trick Or Treat is the kind of no frills Halloween gem that’s just kinda toss onto an innocuous album because well, that’s just how they roll. “Halloween? Sure, we gotta Halloween song. Here ya go.”
Full of nostalgia and rubber remembrances for the Halloweens of our youth, this tune is essentially all about the costumes; picking out the right one and having a great time doing it, all in the spirit of trick or treating.
And just like any good Halloweeners, they’ll even catalog passed costumes and the myriad of ideas they have for upcoming costumes as well.
So come on Weeners, whadda you gonna be this year?
Shindig All-Stars Blitzkid are back and whaddya know, they’re singing about an 80’s horror movie.
This time Hellraiser is their pleasure (sir) and we’ve spiced it up with a hefty dose of Pinhead’s verbose bullshit to really make it feel at home.
So come on, solve the easiest puzzle box/portal to ungodly horrors that ever existed.
Seriously, they couldn’t have made that fucker a little trickier to crack? Nothing that contains that much crazy shit should be that easy to just accidentally open by rubbing your thumb across. Jeez guys.
The Ramones (b) + Horror Title Track (htt) = Shinding Gold (sg).
And I don’t care what hardcore Ramones fans thought or what The Golden Raspberry Committee had to say on the matter, my equation is airtight.
And just like any good equation you could substitute a lot of bands for that b variable and still get the same value or greater.
Dokken? Check.
45 Grave? Check Plus.
J Geils Band? Double Plus Good.
It’s math. It just works. Numbers don’t lie. And when Joey, Dee Dee, Johnny and Marky set their sights on Stephen King, the result was a horror hit for the ages. Haters be damned!
Stephen King likes to name drop songs in his novels, particularly Ramones songs and Pet Sematary is no different, as Blitzkreg Bop plays heavily into the story.
I believe the story goes that the boys were approached by the producers for the inclusion of Sheena Is A Punk Rocker in the movie. Such fans of the novel were they that The Ramones simply offered to cut an original track just for the film. And not only that, but a Title Track to boot. Don’t know where I heard that, can’t confirm it but it’s in my head and why would I just make that up? Gotta be at least a partly true, right?
It’s one of the greatest Horror Title Tracks of all time performed by one of the greatest Rock ‘N Roll bands ever. The simplicity and raw power of The Ramones lends itself to perhaps the most cartoonishly straight forward song to ever accompany a horror film, or maybe any film for that matter. Though, there is Hard Ticket To Hawaii and The Stabilizer and thems some ridiculous ass Title Tracks.
So blow a raspberry at those Golden Raspberry farts and follow Victor to the sacred place.
