Monster Talk: Monster Rap?

At some point during the early 80’s rap started coming into its own as a musical genre, at least in terms of pop culture. However, any amount of popularity eventually begets bastardization.

So, some yahoos thought it’d be a swell idea if everyone, and everything, began rapping. And for about 15 years or so, they did. Now, while musically and tastefully that was probably the whackest decision possible, in terms of Halloween Shindig, it’s meant gold. Solid gold.

The first Shindig incarnation had 3 rap songs on it. Not a bad showing for only 700 megs. Over the years however, that amount has more than quadrupled. Hell, you could make a whole CD of just these monster raps (note to self: make monster rap mix CD for car.)

Everything it seems was fair game for the money mill; The Ghostbuster’s are coming hard with 3 entries, Haunted Houses seem equitable and the Universal Monsters are heavily represented.

Even the fiends themselves started grabbing mics; Dracula has rapped; Elvira, The Crypt Keeper and Frankenstein’s Monster, all spittin’ lyrics. Hell, Freddy’s rapped twice, and one of those times was actually Robert England.

Now, these songs may seem corny, ridiculously conceived, goofy as fuck, or just plain terrible, and who knows, maybe they are. But, while they may not be well respected or liked amongst the general population, much love and respect is given to them from the Shindig, where they will always have a non-ironic home.

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Monsta’ Rap

TRACK #11:

Monsta’ Rap by Elvira

Coming up next on the ‘dig is a ghoul after my own heart – Elvira.

“Every tricker’s treat” has been making Halloween playlists (or more appropriately, Hallowween albums) since I was knee high to a Gremlin. In total, she has 4 different Halloween albums, and they’re all chock full of great songs, Elvira halloweeniness, and even original cuts from the Mistress herself. And number 11 is just such a track.

Not to be out-done (in any respect), Elvira comes correct with her own brand of referential novelty in Monsta’ Rap, featuring so many shout outs, its hard to imagine fitting them all into only 4 minutes. Seriously, everything from The Thing to Rodan and everyone from Christopher Lee to Barbara Steele gets put on blast here, creating possibly the most referential song on the list. And if that wasn’t enough, Elvira’s rapping it all together.

Merged here with her own introduction for some Halloweeny atmosphere. Enjoy.

 

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Science Fiction/Double Feature

TRACK #10:

Science Fiction/Double Feature by Richard O’Brien & Richard Harley

Back in the day, VH1 used to play Rocky Horror on Halloween Night. This is probably because they really didn’t have access to much else, besides maybe Thriller, that would fit the bill.

Before I was old enough to actually comprehend what the hell was going on (if I’m even at that age yet) the strange sounds and imagery flickering wildly on the screen stuck with me. In later years I was able to catch more than just a passing glimpse and fully appreciate The Rocky Horror Picture Show for the many splendored experience it was.

To this day, anytime I watch Rocky Horror, it feels exactly like Halloween, and exactly like Halloween should.

Number 10 on the Shindig is that amalgamous, retro wonder Science Fiction/Double Feature, admittedly my favorite song from the film. Its 50’s sci-fi referencing is enough alone for it to make the cut, but with all that Halloween nostalgia on top, there ain’t even a second thought.

 

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Scream and Scream Again

TRACK #9:

Scream and Scream Again by Amen Corner

Chances are your party’s not gonna have a 22 day gap between songs 8 and 9, so since everyone will still be busy screaming to ward off The Tingler, let’s scream again with the help of Amen Corner.

If you’ve never heard of Amen Corner don’t feel bad, I don’t think anyone has. Hell, I wouldn’t have either had I not been watching Scream and Scream Again a few years ago. They’re performing this tune (a Title Track,…more on that later) in a weird British nightclub. I said, “Hey this song kind of grooves. It would go great right after Homer tells Bart to take out the garbage.”

So that’s where I put it and there it’s stayed. Plus, it’s also a Vincent price flick, so that’ll make a nice two-fer.

If you’ve never seen Scream and Scream Again, I wouldn’t sweat it. Mostly you’re missing a largely incomprehensible mishmash of ideas and images, dumb cops, weird murders and a bizarre subplot of puesdo-nazi that never really pays off.

It has some good moments though, plus it’s one of 2 films featuring both Vincent Price and Christopher Lee (Peter Cushing is in there too, but not for long.) However, there’s a lot of other stuff I’d put ahead of it on a gotta see list.

Despite all that, this song still makes a nice retro addition to any Halloween playlist. Enjoy.

 

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The Warm Side of the Door

It’s Christmas morning! Were you good this year? Well, it doesn’t matter, because Santa is here.

As disturbing as that may sound, here’s some consolation, in the form of another Morgan Ames Christmas tune from Silent Night, Deadly Night, The Warm Side of the Door.

This is the only other song which appears in the movie in its entirety. If anyone has this soundtrack, or knows where I might be able to procure it (if indeed it even exists) drop me a line, cause I need some of the other gems from this flick.

There’s always people who love you, to kiss you and hug you, on the warm side of the door.

Now, while I have no idea what this actually means, it’s a nice Christmas sentiment (I think) and the montage that accompanies it is one of the nicer moments in Silent Night, Deadly Night.

In a film where Christmas horrors of all kinds abound, this montage offers us a glimpse into Billy’s life away from the nightmare that is Christmas; where he merrily stacks boxes, lifts small children to reach toys, declines booze in favor of milk, and straightens ends caps directly after punching out, to the well deserved nods of his boss.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, this montage wraps up just in time for Christmas, when Billy’s pleasant disposition will soon transform into murderous punishment.

So, before that can happen, take a moment, maybe with a brother, to enjoy the warm side of the door,…before its kicked in by the shiny boot of Santa and an ax is lodged in your chest.

Merry Christmas Tumblr, or the warm side of the door, as I’m now calling it.

 

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Santa’s Watching

The first Silent Night, Deadly Night track I have to offer is Morgan Ames’ “Santa’s Watching,” just in time for your Christmas Eve.

This is an unsettling song which plays throughout, and is even referred to within, the movie. Not unlike a normal Christmas song, “Santa’s Watching” is a festive carol about how Santa is creeping, and watching, and knowing exactly whether you’ve been good or bad. However, in the context of the movie, coupled with it’s slightly off lyrics, this song becomes a holiday nightmare.

Merry Christmas Eve. I hope you’ve been good all year.

 

Silent Night, Musical Night

This is indeed a Halloween blog. More specifically, its a blog concerning a Halloween playlist of custom songs I’ve created over the last 10 years. However tonight is Christmas Eve, so I believe a brief yuletide interlude is in order.

For the Halloween or monster fiend, there is no shortage of holiday horror offerings to satiate their blood-lust this time of year. Be it Bob Clark’s ground-breaking Black Christmas, Britain’s sleazy Don’t Open Til Christmas, the fantastically bizarre Christmas Evil, or more ridiculous and underrated creature offerings like Evles or Jack Frost.

Easily my favorite however is 1984’s notorious Silent Night, Deadly Night, which has recently gone under the not-exactly-a-remake knife in the form of Silent Night. I’ll pass, thank you very much.

Of all the greatness that is this film – childhood trauma, Santa murder, Santa rape, regular rape, strangulation, antler murder, random-ass bow and arrow murder, grunting ax-throwing, topless Linnea Quigley, sledding decapitation, scary grandpas, excessive tiger paintings, Jabba the Hutt toys, plus 2 different Santas being gunned down in front of children by inept police officers – perhaps my favorite aspect is still its unique Christmas music, some of which the film tries to pass off as legitimate holiday fare.

These songs are not, however, traditional, or found anywhere else for that matter. So for Christmas this year, I thought I give Tumblr some of these songs. Merry Christmas internet.

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Scream!

TRACK #8:

Scream! by The Misfits

“Blasphemy!”

Yeah, I might just say that too, cause I know what you’re thinkin’, “Newfits? For real? You haven’t even posted any actual Misfits songs yet, and you’re coming with some Newfits bullshit?”

All I can say to that is, I like the actual Misfits more, so they’re buried deeper in the playlist, for when everyone’s good and sauced up and the stragglers have had time to settle in. And don’t worry, there’s no shortage of classic Misfits tracks on Halloween Shindig.

Say what you want about this secondary incarnation of The Misfits, they had some good tunes. Tunes that are kind of hard for a Halloween playlist to straight up ignore. Tunes like today’s track for instance, entitled Scream!

Despite its (perhaps) misleading name, the song is actually an ode to William Castle’s wonderful 1959 classic The Tingler, about a terrible creature living inside all of you, which feeds on fear, and grows up your spine and into your brain! A creature that can only be stopped by the sound of screaming!

It’s a great premise, and it makes for one hell of a bizarre and imaginative film. Castle, master of the in-theater gimmick, made it even more fun by rigging some of the seats with vibrators to give certain audience members a special jolt at the right moment. 3D? Fuck all that shit, this is Percepto!

The lead-in for this is none other than Williams Castle’s own introduction to the film. Oh, and that’s Bart screaming at the end from Treehouse of Horror IV’s “Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace” segment. Enjoy!

 

 

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Motel Hell

TRACK #7:

Motel Hell by Blitzkid

At #7 comes a band with plenty of representation on the Shindig; perennial monster-rockers Blitzkid.

When every album’s track listing reads like a “Gory Horror Movies from the 80’s” category on Netflix, your band is kind of hard to ignore if making a Halloween playlist.

First cut from these guys? Motel Hell, which details the goings-ons of Farmer Vincent (the wonderful Rory Calhoun) as he minces up out-of-town lodgers at his Motel Hello (its neon sign, of course, has a blown out O.)

He stores and cultivates these lodgers in a garden out back, like some kind of nightmarish cabbage patch, then uses their bodies to make assorted meat products for the locals, whom all love Farmer Vincent’s treats.

Motel Hell is a great piece of early 80’s horror that’s funny, sometimes startling and always a blast to watch. Any movie where a dude wearing a pig’s head gets into a chainsaw fight with another dude that also has a chainsaw is some must-see shit. In fact, if you haven’t seen Motel Hell, you should,…right now.