Never Cry Devil

TRACK #376:

Never Cry Devil by Willy DeVille

We’re keeping Title Track train chuggin’ along with a Title Track to 1989’s Night Visitor.

Now you may notice, however, that this song is not Night Visitor. That is because tonight’s Title Track is an Alternate Title Track, where the song was very much a True Title Track for most of the film’s inception and production (and hell, even in some Foreign market releases) but for some reason was stripped of its status by reckless executives.

Because dear readers, I ask, is Night Visitor a better title than Never Cry Devil? I should think not.

This thick slice of late 80’s Rock ‘N Roll cheesery comes from Willy DeVille, whom is perhaps best known being the leader of Mink DeVille, an early house band at New York’s famed CBGB.

Willy also earned himself an Academy Award nomination for writing and recording Storybook Love with Dire Straits’ Mark Knophler for the film The Princess Bride. Aces.

Here, Willy sets a mood while vaguely (very vaguely) singing about the things that might have something to do with the plot of this 1989 thriller about a boy who thinks he’s gonna see his sexy neighbor Shannon Tweed get buck, but just ends up seeing his fat History teacher ritualistically murdering her in a crazy Satan mask. It’s kinda wild.

But I can picture wilder. Much wilder.

Michael J. Pollard plays the muderer’s brother and (as always) just about steals the show. Elliot Gould showed for a few days to collect his checks and they somehow talked Shaft himself, Mr. Richard Roundtree, into playing the investigating detective.

None of it’s bad, per se, but it doesn’t quite amount to what you want from the premise.

However, it might just be more evidence for Mikey’s theorem that the quality of a movie’s Title Track is directly, and inversely, proportionate to how much that movie sucks.

Now, I’m not sure if that’s always true, particularly for the heavy hitters (Fright Night, Monster Squard, fuckin Ghostbusters for fuck’s sake) but it definitely seems to be the case here again at Track #375, cause this song’s delivering the goods. It’s Wily DeVille with Never Cry Devil.

Satan (Theme)

TRACK #318:

Satan (Theme) by Paul Wibier

Our next stop on Satan’s Cannonball comes from a picture you could argue isn’t exactly a horror picture. I dunno though. Being rundown, raped and murdered by freaky, gakked out bikers sounds pretty goddamn horrific to me. But hey, everybody’s got different ideas of a good time. Either way, when you’re throwin’ me a tune which sounds as at-odds with its subject matter as this one does, The Shindig takes note.

From Al Adamson’s 60’s biker freak-out Satan’s Sadists comes our 318th track, Satan (Theme).

Starring the incomparable Russ Tamblyn as Anchor, leader of the biker gang “The Satans” with such fantastic biker members as Willie, Muscle, Firewater and Acid. The latter of which is played by none other the the films writer, and director of such classics as Without Warning, Satan’s Cheerleaders, Wacko, and The Uninvited, Mr. Greydon Clark.

It’s a 60’s biker explotation picture, so if you’re familiar, you know what you’re getting into and whether that’s frying your bacon or not. Again, it’s not explicitly horror in tone or vibe, but exploitation veers so close sometimes, and this song is just too awesome too ignore. And c’mon, we need a little more Satan around these parts.

So here comes his theme!

Hey Satan

TRACK #317:

Hey Satan by Fearless Leader

Of all the categories on Halloween Shindig, the one that never seems to get much representation is The Devilish Track. I’m not even sure how many there are in total. Hang on a sec.

Jesus, there’s only 13 of these things? Really? I need to double check that number right quick, maybe I didn’t label a few.

Nope. 13 seems legit. Man, I knew it was low but geez, that’s only like 4% of the playlist.

At any rate, those are some pretty rookie numbers in this racket, so we’re gonna add a little padding to that percentage here (honestly only a measly 1% though) with a couple Satany tunes for all ya’ll to groove on.

Aptly leading off the charge is the song Hey Satan, from the San Fernando Valley’s own Clown Lord’s of the Garage-Bizarre, the splatter-glam festooned, Fearless Leader.

Known for the generalized insanity of their live stage shows (which often included the cramming of spam into various orifices) Fearless Leader were something of hometown heroes around these parts,…to a certain section of weirdos anyway.

Their album ¡#$;!, which features the bands name written in such a way as to maybe cause one to raise an eyebrow, actually got them banned in Germany. Worry not though, as it’s simply a KISS reference and not some secret Gestapo salute.

What’s more? These guys actually made a fuckin movie. Yep, and it’s pretty great. 1992’s Graveyard Rot is a bona fide piece of feature-length Rock-N-Roll music video horror-trash SOV madness, and comes highly recommended…to a certain section of weirdos anyhow. You know who you are.

This particular copy featured here may or may not have sold for $500 buck. Seriously? Even asking that much is ridiculous. Get real VHS community. You needn’t shell out that kinda dough though, cause you can just click that picture to watch the movie on Vimeo thanks to the fantastic Hamilton’s Trash Cinema. Big ups!

Sarge, Alien Rock, Oral B. Goode and Spammy Haggard set upon a little road trip to shoot a new music video for this very song. In the process they run afoul some hostile local rednecks and inadvertently raise a long dead Rock-N-Roll singer.

It’s silly, no-budget, band-just-having-a-good time-with a camcorder fun that features (as you might imagine) lots of Fearless Leader tunes.

However, if you’ve never seen Graveyard Rot, this song might still sound familiar if you’ve ever treated yourself to Everything Is Terrible’s The Great Satan.

If you haven’t, I recommend doing that as soon as possible, because it’s fucking bonkers, and Hey Satan sets the whole thing off and running perfectly. Click this to get a little taste.

If you’re not aware of the found footage fiends over at Everything is Terrible, I also recommend familiarizing yourself with them as a whole post-haste.

The Great Satan specifically, is a mind-melting media-mashup of all things Morningstar, spliced at breakneck speed for maximum what-the-fuckery. We’re talking batshit Christian scare-programming, z-grade yard sale movie clips and bizarro homegrown freakouts.

A good-time Satany garage rocker, technically featured in 2 separate, definitely worth your time, movies? Hey, that’s Shindig material all day long.

Hey Satan, Fearless Leader wants to party, but don’t worry, they brought their own sandwiches!

Bargain with the Devil

TRACK #267:

Bargain with the Devil by Franco Micalizzi

In 1973, William Friedkin tapped straight into some ancient Catholic corner of the world’s collective unconsciousness with his masterpiece The Exorcist. People went berserk.

As in the wake of anything that hugely successful, the imitators quickly emerged.

From India’s Seytan, to Canada’s The Manitou, to Spain’s Excorsimo, to Germany’s Magdalena, to our own home grown Abby… there’s definitely no shortage of Exorcist knock-offs.

But nobody pumped em out like the Italians, Pope John Paul II be damned.

There’s The Antichrist, ya know, that one where a paraplegic Rosemary-look-alike totally licks a goat’s asshole. And I mean totally. That one’s pretty awesome.

Or there’s L’Ossessa, also known as Enter the Devil, The Eerie Midnight Horror Show, The Sexorcist, The Devil Obsession, The Obsessed, The Tormented, or The Movie with the Most Alternate Titles Trying to Capitalize Whatever Film Was Most Popular at a Given Time.

That one finds a wooden crucifix Jesus coming to life Morty-style and having his way with our young protagonist. He’s actually the Devil, and later he climbs off a different cross during a weird ritual and totally crucifies this poor girl to it instead. Yikes.

Or how bout poor Bava’s previously titled Lisa and The Devil? It wasn’t faring too well, so the producers re-cut that fucker to improve marketability. They infused it with new scenes deliberately ripping off The Exorcist and released it as The House of Exorcism. Some of those scenes were even shot by Bava’s son (and Demons director) Lamberto Bava, but Mario claims that version is no longer his film at all really.

While all these have their place and finer points, none of them are quite as head scratching or entertaining as Italy’s original Exorcist knock-off, Chi Sei?, which was released to American audiences as Beyond the Door.

More importantly, none of them feature a funked-up ode to the Devil himself like Bargain with The Devil.

From the weird voice dubbing, to the strange children, to Dimitri being a general skeezer, it’s all pretty bizarre. For me though, it’s weirdness culminates when an aggressive pack of street musicians accosts Robert, one of whom appears to be playing a recorder through his nose. That’s creepy.

Here’s the soulful tune about soullessness, Bargain with the Devil. You know, it sounds like a jerk-off session in the bathroom.

He’s Coming Back

TRACK #225:

He’s Coming Back by Chris LeVrar

While attempting to pull some samples from Repossessed for its Title Track, I naturally stumbled across this end credit oddity, which can only be called a gem when you host a playlist like the one I’ve constructed here.

A highly referential Monster Rap Sweet Song? Oh, this is going on the playlist for sure, I don’t care how bad it is.

That this is my knee jerk reaction is a bit of a shame, because this song is bad. And I mean it’s bad, so I apologize for that.

So bad in fact, that you happen to be looking at the proud recipient of 1990’s Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Song from a Motion Picture.

I hope you all can understand and appreciate it’s inclusion. My compulsive need to include inclusive (and referential) Monster Raps Sweet Songs prevents me from treating this thing objectively, or considering your overall enjoyment of this playlist. But my hope is you can at least see why, when stumbling upon something of this nature, it has to be included.

Well, either way I apologize.

In fairness, the verses aren’t so bad. It’s really the chorus here that’s dragging this whole track down. But lyrically, you’re getting a heaping helping of allusions to the film, plenty of bizarro lines and a rhyme structure that is off-center, to say the least.

Not helping matters is it’s length. It’s crazy to me to think Repossessed had enough credits to sustain a 4 minute song. For real? That many heads on Repossessed? They must roll at an unnaturally slow pace, cause I don’t know what the hell all those people were doing.

I will say, I wish I had rediscovered this thing earlier so we could have had the chance to really dig into this one on our Monster Raps episodes. Oh well. Perhaps we’ll amass enough new Monster Raps to warrant a Part 3. Fingers crossed.

In closing, I do hope that somewhere, someone listening to this playlist actually likes this song. Or at the very least, appreciates the necessity of it’s inclusion, because I’m fairly sure they’ll be the only one.

Repossessed

TRACK #224:

Repossessed by Cindy Valentine

While certainly not what I’d call a good movie or even all that funny, you can do a lot worse than 1990’s Horror Spoof Repossessed. Namely Transylvania 6-5000. But I digress.

The best thing going for this silly slice of parody is Linda Blair. Landing the star of the original film you’re spoofing is a big play in this racket, and here she does a fine job lampooning herself, tongue firmly in cheek. It’s neat just to see her there in the blue dress taking a poke at herself and it goes some distance to endearing this movie to a certain audience.

I’m also a sucker for Leslie Nielsen, though I have to admit, his accent takes me out of this one a little. This is not one of his crowning comedic works, but it certainly beats Spy Hard or 2001: A Space Travesty.

A lot of the jokes here don’t land well, but there are a number of smaller gags that I think work and produce some genuine laughs. This, however, is not the gold standard of horror parodies, by any means. Hell, it ain’t even a copper standard.

Making all of this a little easier to ingest though is its upbeat Title Track from Teen Witch’s own Cindy Valentine. A second (hell, maybe even 3rd or 4th) tier 80’s pop singer you may or may not be familiar with. I vaguely recognized a couple of her bigger hits (from where exactly, I could not say) but if you had no recollection of ever hearing any of her assembly line genri-pop, that would be perfectly understandishable.

I’ve yet to hear a Cindy Valentine song I didn’t like and that very much includes Never Gonna Be The Same Again from Teen Witch. But in fairness, I haven’t listened to the breadth of her catalog. I’m sure there’s some turkeys in there, even by my admittedly dubious standards.

But here it is, my personal pick from the crop of Bad and Ugly Title Tracks of Episode 8, it’s Cindy Valentine with Reposssessed!

The Devil’s Men

TRACK #153:

The Devil’s Men by Paul Williams

While fairly understated and never quite as rousing as it seems like it should be, The Devil’s Men is a somewhat worthwhile endeavor, if only to see card-carrying good guy Peter Cushing all cloaked out and evil, raising a 10 foot, fire-breathing Minotaur statue he calls “lord.”

Oh yeah and all the creepy , robed Minotaur worshipers.

Oh yeah and them all exploding at that end. That shit is pretty awesome.

But it’s mostly worth seeing for the grooviest title track this side of Scream and Scream Again, which incidentally, Cushing also appears.

Paul Williams performs this number, but apparently not the same Paul Williams with whom many of you may be familiar with from his performance in and musical contributions to, Brian DePalma’s Phantom Of The Paradise. Naw, this is some other Paul Williams. Which is unfortunate, but not terribly surprising, as this Paul Williams doesn’t sound much like that Paul Williams.

But props all around anyway other Paul, cause this one’s a doozy.

However, much like the last 2 cuts in this True Title Track block, someone had it out for The Devil’s Men, someone who sucked at their job.

See, they took the movie and retitled it Land Of The Minotaur. Which (while in and of itself is a cool title) seems pretty unnecessary, particularly during the 70’s satanic panic where one would imagine a film called The Devil’s Men might play just fine.

They also saw fit to removed a bunch of violence and all the nudity. Seriously? What’s next? Did they cut out an awesome Title Track too?

Yes! That’s exactly what they did, and they should be tried and hung for the successive severity of their crimes.

So, if you’re gonna watch The Devil’s Men, make sure you watch The Devil’s Men, and not Land of the Minotaur, cause it doesn’t have a whole lot going for it, and the censored version removes just about every reason there is to watch it at all. For shame!

Here, now returned to its former glory, it’s Some Different Paul Williams with The Devil’s Men!

UPDATE!

Ok, so weird almost 10 years after the fact Post Script on this number, but I was just watching the Christian documentary Rock: It’s Your Decision,

Night Danger

TRACK #126:

Night Danger by Pretty Maids

Ah Demons, how I love thee. Let me count the ways.

This awesome Italian gore-fest from Mario Bava’s son, Lamberto, might not live up to his father’s catalog in the masterful film making department, but what it lacks in finesse it more than makes up for in kick-ass gore effects, hilarious dubbing and general balls-to-the-wallsery.

The setup is simple. Unsuspecting movie-goers attending the premiere screening of a new horror film become possessed by the same evil unfolding on the screen. Cue crazy demon madness.

What I love most about Demons (is not, bizarrely enough, it’s soundtrack) but Bobby Rhodes’ pimp-hero, Tony. Or rather, I should say whoever dubbed him in English. They’re both awesome and the two form together like the Wonder Twins to create something even more awesome.

My pal Mikey, who met Bobby Rhodes at Fangoria’s Weekend of Horrors some years ago, said he has this really thick Italian accent and it was strange to hear that voice coming out of his face. Here’s a picture. Mikey is appropriately pumped.

Cause Tony is the fucking man and he provides us with some of the greatest get-it-done, no-nonsense tough-guy horror movie bullshit ever committed to the screen. He’s seriously one of my favorite horror heroes of all time and though he dies about halfway into the proceedings, he (or rather Bobby and the awesome guy who dubs him) return in a more noble fashion for Demons 2. Double bonus.

What I love second about Demons is its unrelenting gore-soaked effects from maestro Sergio Stivalleti. The movie is caked in oozing liquids, green foam and nasty teeth. The demons look mean and scary as hell while they mercilessly rip the unsuspecting movie-goers to shred.

Coming in third is the soundtrack. It’s a serious 80’s metal bash and exactly what you want from a horror soundtrack: Accept, Saxon, Motely Crue, Billy Idol, hell there’s even a random Rick Springfield song in there for good measure.

So, with all those heavy hitters then, why choose Pretty Maids? Well, first thing is Night Danger fucking rules and is exactly the kinda rocking 80’s metal storm the Shindig needs to follow up the King.

Secondly, it’s all Satany and badass.

Thirdly, it’s front and center in the film, right as all the demon shit hits the fan.

Spliced with tons of samples from Tony the Pimp cause fuck yeah.

Whadda you waiting for, you sonofvubitch!?

Highway To Hell

TRACK #37:

Highway To Hell by AC/DC

It’s time for another Devilish Track, however this particular tune tows a fine line.

It’s featured in the trailer of, so is sort of a de facto title track for 1991’s Highway To Hell. However, simply naming your movie after a song and blasting it exclusively in your trailer doesn’t make that song a title track. I may love My Boyfriend’s Back, but you won’t find that song by The Angel’s on the Shindig.

No, Highway To Hell is Shindigging for a few reasons; namely – I like AC/DC, it’s a good party tune, and there was a horror film named after it. Plus, this bogus Devilish category I concocted to justify Number of The Beast (and Raining Blood, and See You In Hell...and…) And well, that’s good enough for me.

If you’re tuning into this strange, Steve Johnson FX’d horror comedy, look for a young Ben Stiller in a small role as the cook at Pluto’s, Lita Ford as a hitchhiker, and Gilbert Gottfried as Hitler! Yeah, it’s a weird movie.

See You In Hell

TRACK #18:

See You In Hell by Grim Reaper

Well, we’re almost 20 songs into the Shindig, and we’ve yet to supply any songs in the Devilish category.

What can i say? Its my least favorite category, as I don’t tend to think of the Devil or Hell as particularly Halloweeny. Yeah, the two go hand and hand, I suppose, but there’s a shit load of songs talkin’ bout the Devil, and you can’t fit ‘em all into one Halloween playlist.

But, I have a soft spot for this song, and it’s band, Grim Reaper, and I just like hearing it, and Halloween’s as good an excuse as any to get it into a rotation.

Perhaps the most ridiculous song you can imagine, sung by the most ridiculous group of dudes you can imagine, See You In Hell features one of the most repetitious choruses you’re liable to hear.

In fact, the phrase “See You In Hell” appears in the song a total of 38 times in a matter of 4 minutes. That’s an average of a “See You In Hell” every 6 and a half seconds. That’s pretty incredible. It’s probably a world record.

Ushered in with a little help from a Devilish Ned Flanders and a desperately hungry Homer Simpson, I’ll see you in hell, my friends.

Halloween Shindig

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