Hey Frankenstein

TRACK #361:

Hey Frankenstein by Ecstasy

So, what’s all the fuss about Dracula, anyway?

Guy’s kinda boring, ain’t he? Drink a little blood, flash a little cape, hiss a bit with some fangs maybe, whatever. Big deal. Why’s this dude getting so much love in the tracks?

What about ole Frankenstein?

Well, while seemingly not as referenced as The Count, Frankenstein is still no slouch when it comes to recordings. In fact, according to a title search of “Frankenstein” on Discogs, there’s 785 master recordings. That’s almost 120 more than Dracula! Maybe old nut-neck ain’t 2nd banana after all. Maybe he is the big dog at the party. Though in fairness, a ton of those releases are just various compilation appearances and covers of the Edgar Winter classic. Without meticulously scrubbing either search for duplicates of that nature, it would hard to say for sure who emerges as the clear winner.

That’s of no real concern to us though, cause we’re gonna show Frank a little love now anyway, cause Lord knows he’s been getting the high-hat. Plus, I got a bunch of Franken-Jams clogging up the bullpen. Not as many as Dracula, but still quite a few.

I think it’s worth noting that in 9 out of 10 songs it’s the monster that’s being referenced rather than the Doctor. Sometimes that can be hard to determine with some of these songs, but it’s a safe bet it’s usually the creature.

And we can look the other way on that one, right gang? We can just accept that most people are calling the creature “Frankenstein,” accurate or not. I’m prepared to let it go for a block of Franken-Rock, aren’t you?

Yeah, of course you are, cause you don’t give a damn. Does the track groove? Yeah? Well then fire it up.

And groove this one does, cause we’re flippin’ the switch on this block with another song I had to fish outta the drink just to hear. And once again, it was definitely worth it. Some people had the A-side from the Ecstasy single What’d I Say? but no one seemed to have the B-side, Hey Frankenstein.

Ecstasy was a French disco band in the late 70’s that cut a number of 45s, but seemed to fizzle out just before the turn of the decade.

Chris Dobat, otherwise known as Mister Ecstasy, was the driving force behind that band and he seems to have pivoted to solo Funk work in the 80’s. Not bad.

Here, he lets it all hang out with some funky disco dedicated to Doctor himself. At least, I think anyway. Cause I’m not gonna lie, half the time I can’t tell what the hell Chris is actually saying. The fact that this is the B-side to What’d I Say? seems entirely appropriate.

However, I didn’t wanna leave y’all hanging. So, I decided to listen to this song on repeat, for an ungodly amount of times, until I figured out what the lyrics are.

Here is my best attempt. If anyone would like to assist me or correct any of these lines, I’ll take all the help I can get. We posted the song to YouTube last year, and you can use their playback speed to help with the translation. Though I warn you, it’s only so helpful.

Hey Frankenstein
Hey Hey, Hey Hey (x2)

Hey Frankenstein
Comes walking in
you know its him
Oh, bad Frankenstein

Hey, Frankenstein
He’s gotta prove
He’s in the groove
Oh, bad Frankenstein

He takes a drink
To make it quick
It’s all feelin fine
He can’t play fair
He doesn’t care
He’s bad Frankenstein

Hey, Frankenstein
He’s doctor
When his medicine
Oh, he’s Frankenstein

Hey, Frankenstein
He wore his dice
And they’ll look nice
He’s no valentine

So full of ice
He wore them twice
He’s no friend of mine
And if your taught
To live to start
Don’t, bad Frankenstein

Hey Frankenstein
Hey Hey, Hey Hey (x2)

He’s moving fast
He’s moving where it’s at
Looking for fun
Anyway, anywhere, anyone

When there’s no more fun
He’s back on the run
Playboy #1
Always looking for fun

On the run

?
He’s got a secret
Dice!
He wore them twice!
Louder
Sexy
Horns
He begs it

Mr. Frankenstein
Comes a-walking in
Mr. Frankenstein
Funky Valentine

Hey, Frankenstein
He’s gotta prove
He’s in the groove
Oh, bad Frankenstein

Hey, Frankenstein
When it get hot
He’s very bad
He’s bad, Frankenstein

He knows the way
To scare his prey
Oh he’s Frankenstein
He’ll never let you get away
Here comes Frankenstein

Hey Frankenstein
Comes walking in
you know its him
Oh, bad Frankenstein

Hey, Frankenstein
He’s gotta prove
He’s in the groove
Oh, bad Frankenstein

He takes a drink
To make it quick
It’s all feelin fine
He can’t play fair
He doesn’t care
He’s bad Frankenstein (x4)

So, that’s what I got anyway.

Can’t say I’m entirely convinced I got any of this right, and lots of it just sounds wrong. But some it of seems right, and after entirely too many listens, I gotta call it a wrap. But please, if you’re feeling like maybe you also gotta know what this guy is saying and my translation seems like trash, help me out. Lemme know what you think.

Oh, and hey! Speaking of letting it all hang out, that’s a full on fully up there adorning the front of this 45. Cause hey, if you jump into a tub to record your single, maybe a nipple slips out, ya know? It’s ‘78! It’s disco! What’s a nipple? C’mon, get loose, will ya?

Mary Shelley would have wanted to see her nipple.

Dracula Disco

TRACK #295:

Dracula Disco by Gerry Bribosia

Unfortunately for everyone listening, that’s not where the “Disco Dracula” ends.

Cause every once and a while The Shindig stumbles across a song that’s definitely not good, but not totally unlistenable, that practically insists upon itself to make the playlist.

Dracula Disco is just such a song.

Because where else do you put this? Where else does this thing get the nod? When else does this song get its day?

But maybe it shouldn’t get its day, because that place doesn’t exist. Maybe it should just get buried in a hole somewhere where you put uninspired, and dubious cash-in trash like this.

Well, unfortunately for that hole, such a place does exist. And that place is Halloween Shindig. And that day is today.

But holy shit. This is the kind of thing that give disco a bad name.

Say what you want about something like Soul Dracula, or Disco Blood, but those songs cut rugs. This shit…this Dracula Disco shit…this is bland, repetitive, cash grabby garbage. Hell, it barely qualifies as music. You can’t dance to this shit! Isn’t that the soul purpose of disco, to at least get your feet moving? What is this song’s purpose? Who is this song for? It’s definitely for us, right now, in hindsight. But I mean in its day, to whom was this appealing to? To whom was this being sold, I ask!

Not gonna lie though, this guy does a pretty good Dracula, but the song isn’t asking much of him in the way of singing. Also, his party is poorly attended and whack as fuck. What’s he got? 2 guests and some lights? A little music? Well, if it’s shit like Dracula Disco, count me out, Conde.

Where’s the cavalcade of monsterous party goers? Where’s the plasma pizza or the blood ballon race? This party doesn’t even have a spooky DJ. This party is lazy and so is this song.

Unfortunately, lazy though it might be, it’s exactly the kind of thing that needs to be on this playlist. Because, where else do you put a thing like Dracula Disco, if not in a trash can?

Also, that LP cover is pretty fantastic. Dude has a coffin guitar, so what the hell.

The Monsters Go Disco

BONUS TRACK!

The Monsters Go Disco by The Monster Cereals

I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to talk about this nugget of nostalgic goodness, and smack dab in the middle of a Monster Disco Block seemed like the perfect place. Because, ya know, there’s no better way to segue out of fully audible quasi-consensual Vampire fucking than to start taking about children’s breakfast mascots.

Additionally, it appears dragging my feet for years has actually timed this post up to the 50th anniversay of the Monster Cereals, commemorated here with their own all-star box of super-group cereal called Monster Mash! Albertsons, Ralphs and Target all failed me on this box. When every single goddamn physical retail store finally succumbs to the will of Amazon, let The Monster Mash Cereal be their epitaphs!

As an added bonus, the crew teamed up to produce a new version of Boris Pickett’s classic graveyard smash, The Monster Mash. The song’s kind of trash, as Monster Mash covers go, but you can scan this QR code and listen to it on Spotify. They even made a mildly amusing Behind the Music-style video as accompaniment, and that’s worth a watch.

But I digress.

Anyone who’s probably actually reading these posts are well aware of the Monster Cereals. They’re iconic, even if you’ve never indulged in a bowlful of their colorful and crunchy crap.

Before these cartoon creatures came to be, cereal giant General Mills used to use Disney-owned properties to slang their morning crack. But in 1971, they decided it would be a hell of a lot more profitable if they just invented their own characters and kept all the proceeds. Enter Franken Berry and Count Alfred Chocula. Yep, Chocula has a name and that name is apparently Alfred.

So, smashed between Saturday morning cartoons, General Mills unleashed their animated monsters and grabbed the minds and stomachs of an entire generation.

Interesting side note: apparently in 1972, they began using a pigment in Franken Berry which actually turned kids shit pink. They even had a term for it known as “Franken Berry Stool.” Not sure whether this pigment was actually harmful or not, but they discontinued using it shortly thereafter none the less.

But because turning kid turds funny colors while pushing an addictive powder directly into their bloodstreams only makes you so much money, an entire marketing web was established. Stickers, rings, vinyl toys, magnets, and other such pieces of plastic were either shoved into the boxes, or featured as mail-away prizes on the back.

Well in 1979, General Mills began a campaign of of thin, flexible 45rpm records known as Flexi-Discs. These prizes were attached directly the backs of specially marked boxes of the each of the Monster Cereals.

3 of these 4 minute records were produced featuring the gang performing skits, including Monster Adventures in Outer Space and Count Chocula Goes to Hollywood. But it is the 3rd record which concerns us today, The Monsters Go Disco. It was 1979, after all.

This tale involves the monsters finding themselves frightfully lonely on a Saturday Night and deciding to give the local discotheque a go.

There they encounter a Wolfman Jack like disc jockey and have themselves a good ole fashioned dance off for the affections of “Donna Disco.”

This particular record has an even deeper history, as it was animated and remixed years later by 2 General Mills employees. You can read the backstory and strange journey of this record here, in a fantastically myopic and interesting Pop-Icon article.

But for now, let’s us indulge in a little lull amidst our Monster Disco Block and get a little Franken Berry Stool of our own with The Monsters Go Disco.

Disco Blood

TRACK #292:

Disco Blood by The Vamps

No, it’s not that Disco Blood, featured in 1981’s slasher classic, The Prowler, as performed by Nowherefast. Unfortunately, that one still appears to be unobtainium at the moment. Nope, this disco hit comes courtesy of Brazilian dance outfit, The Vamps.

It’s the title track the from their only LP, Disco Blood, released back in 1977.

And boy, what a weird ass tune this is.

It’s essentially a disco tale of a nubile woman who runs afoul “the vampire.” And not just a vampire, mind you, but the vampire. We could assume this means Dracula, as it typically does, but perhaps not. We’re just not sure.

Anyway, after some less than coy flirtations, and then overt unsolicited advances, this thing turns to (from the sounds of it anyway) straight up Vampire rape. After which, this poor young woman seems to acquiesce to the dire situation and the song then devolves into these 2 audibly fucking for almost 2 minutes over a disco beat. Well then.

The story itself, in all its myriad complexity, is actually illustrated for us on the album’s sleeve. Well, that’s a curious bonus. Chalk one up for The Vamps.

These are some great pictures to have on the back of an album, and it was an unexpected treat when I received this record in the mail.

As for the song, there’s some serious bongo work on display with this tune and man if it don’t get yer foot tapping.

Sure, you could take issue with the less than favorable subject matter, either as a moralistic objection to sex in general, the performance and distribution of simulated sex on record, or the unholy union of a human and creature of the night in sexual congress. Any one of those would make perfect sense and could impair someone’s desire to dance. I get that.

However, having no objection to the above, one could still find it difficult to dance to a song featuring a woman being thrust upon by a man (or monster) against her will. True enough. This woman literally yells “Get out of me!” Not sure if that’s just a language barrier or something more specific, but whatever’s happening here is not (at least initially anyway) consensual in the slightest.

But then again, I think that’s the nature of the vampire. For what is a vampire attack, if not a wildly non-consensual act.

But, if you can square yourself with that unfavorable situation, then you got one hell of a smokin’ disco number on you’re hands.

Unfortunately, like most of the artists this year it seems, I couldn’t dig up too much information on The Vamps.

So, I guess all we have are these drawings and 7 and a half minutes of a little 33rpm auditory pornography/maybe rape/probably horror/definitely disco. Eh, why not?

I apologize in advance.

Disco Halloween

TRACK #291:

Disco Halloween by Forbidden Fruits

We’re gonna kick off a long overdue disco block here with the somewhat appropriate Disco Halloween from a band called Forbidden Fruits.

I say somewhat because this song neither sounds very Halloweeny, nor even seems to have much to do with Halloween. I’m not sure, cause I can’t really tell what any of the lyrics are. They don’t sound too spooky, I’ll say that.

As is the case with many bands on this playlist, I had never heard of Italo-Disco outfit Forbidden Fruits and I probably wouldn’t have ever heard of them had they not created a song called Disco Halloween.

But apparently no one else would have either, as it appears to be the only song ever released by Forbidden Fruits. I couldn’t dig up any real info on this band. This led me to believe, like many similar singles, that it was released by other artists as a one-off under a different moniker.

As you can see, the name Jimmy McFoy is splashed up there on that LP. This led me to then believe that he’s a somebody. And hell, maybe he is, but he’s definitely a somebody I couldn’t find much info about either. It seems as though he was a somewhat prominent singer in the Italo-Disco scene from in the early to mid 80’s. He even had semi-notable hit with Hi Girl in 1985.

Italo-Disco, for those readers that are still reading this and aren’t familiar with the term, was a form of electronic music that originated in Italy in the early 80’s. It made heavy use of drum machines and synthesizers and even the occasional vocoder. For some reason, despite being Italo, more often than not the singing would be in English. Like Disco itself, it didn’t last too long, and quickly splintered off into other Italo-centric subgenre’s like Italo-House, Italo-Dance and Eurobeat.

Now, looking further into the matter and Jimmy McFoy himself, I saw the name listed as a pseudonym for Antoine Van Bladel, and boy if that guy don’t have a bunch of stuff listed on his discografia. Among the long list you’ll find all of Jimmy McFoy’s releases, and some from the hilariously named Paul Paul, Tommy Bow, Videovision, Manhattan Claude, Johnny Game and indeed…Forbidden Fruits. He even had one under a band called Bank of America. Seriously? Bank of America? This dude released a record as Bank of America? I dunno, maybe it means something different in Italo.

So, what’s the deal, Jimbo? You singing on this tune? You produce it? You write this fucker? You bringing up the rear? What’s the deal, Jimmy?

We may never know. Whoever’s behind this one, when you bust down a track called Disco Halloween, and it’s half way listenable, you’re getting scooped up. Such is The Shindig. Which side of the halfway you’ll lean is certainly open for debate. For my money, despite be largely unfestive, it’s got a pretty fun beat, and hey, they say Halloween a bunch, so, we’re game.

Like most disco songs though, it’s overly long and doesn’t say a whole lot other than the title over and over. Which, if you’re cutting a rug at the local discotheque in the mid 80’s, is all you can really ask for. However this is 2021, and we’re definitely not coke-stepping the night away at the Starship Discovery, so I opted to use a truncated version so as not wear out any goodwill the song my have with listeners early on.

Now, the question remains, if you’re not getting terribly spooky, why Halloween? Eh, who knows? Maybe it’s like Christmas, where it makes good financial sense and ensures a certain amount of longevity attaching your name and song to an annual event. Hell, it got Forbidden Fruits roped up in The Shindig, which I’m sure was exactly what Antoine Van Bladel was hoping for all along.

Struck By Boogie Lightning

TRACK #268:

Struck By Boogie Lightning by L’Etrique

Hey, do you like Don’t Go In the House?

I probably agree with whatever you just said to yourself, whatever it was. I’m pretty flexible on this one.

I will say that I mostly enjoy it, though. I like the tone and it’s late 70’s disco vibe. It’s what I want out of a slasher, aesthetically speaking. Donny’s pretty great too, and watching him be a socially inept weirdo is its own kind of charming.

And it certainly kicks off delivering the goods. Problem is, it pulls back on the reigns a little too much in the middle. Ultimately, it ramps back up again to a somewhat satisfactory level before the end, but you can feel a crazier movie just wanting to bust out here. Should have just keep the hammer down, you ask me.

That being said, it’s still a fun enough slasher with a some pretty memorable moments none the less.

More importantly for us though, it features one thumpin-ass disco banger of a Sweet Song in Struck By Boogie Lightning.

Though pretty discoed out itself, I’m still not sure if Don’t Go In The House should wrap it all up with something like Stuck by Boogie Lightning. You could accuse it of being tonally inconsistent. I don’t. But you could.

Personally, given the rest of the disco tunes scattered throughout the film, it doesn’t sound out of place at all. But, it does seem a little upbeat for whatever the hell we just watched. Sometimes that’s just what you need with a movie like this though.

So I’m glad it ends with this song though, cause it’s awesome and I wouldn’t know about it otherwise. So, hats off gang.

Though called simply “Boogie Lightning” in the film’s credits and attributed to producer/writer Bill Heller, the song was released under the moniker L’Etrique as Struck by Boogie Lightning in 1979. While essentially the same exact song, the film’s version plays for about 2 minutes and only features the words “Struck by Boogie Lightning.”

The official L’Etrique version, however, is a nearly 8 minute disco opus which will surely bring you to your boogie knees.

Somewhere between my almost autistic pursuit of purity and a sense of goddamn common decency, lies this truncated (though still expanded) Halloween Shindig version. It’s longer and more complete than what the movie provides, yet slices out a lot of the repetition and the open ended disco breakdown of the official release.

This is one of those Shindig tunes where, if you’re not familiar with the film, it just seems like a bizarre addition. But if you are familiar with the film, it’s one of those tracks that just needs to be included. This song grooves man, and it’s one my absolute favorite additions of 2020.

So, build a weird murder room and grab your flamethrower or hell, maybe just smash a candle into some innocent girl’s poor face and burn the whole goddamn disco down.

Do it for Ma. She’s just sleeping.

Soul Dracula

TRACK #75:

Soul Dracula by Hot Blood

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your perspective) there was more than one disco Dracula tune.

In fact, there was a whole album. It was even called Disco Dracula. It was the only effort from weird German band called Hot Blood and there’s a couple of vampire themed tracks on this sucker. Hell, there’s even a Frankenstein song called “Baby Frankie Stein.”

Mostly a funky instrumental, this lyrically sparse number does repeatedly feature the the titular phrase “Soul Dracula,” which is honestly enough for the Shindig. However, Hot Blood puts a little pepper on the porridge by using a goofy Dracula voice. Bonus.

Leading this track in is a clip from Blacula, cause lets face it, Blacula is the soulest motherfuckin Dracula around. To quote James Brown “Eddie Murphy, eat your heart out.”

And because it is mostly an instrumental, we went ahead and saddled the whole track with some Blacula clips, cause Blacula is awesome, and he deserves it.

Enjoy!