Speaking of bizarre skin-flicks disguised as Disco Dracula films, let’s talk about Dracula Blows His Cool, a German sex comedy with a surprisingly interesting soundtrack.
When smut photographer and “Dracula” descendant Stan decides just shooting nudie pictures in his old family castle isn’t quite enough to keep it from being repossessed, he does what any self respecting Bavarian in 1979 would do. He opens a disco!
What ensues is a bevy of silly sex gags, tons of mistaken identity hi-jinx and some funny English dubbing. While certainly not even approaching good, there’s less amusing ways you could spend an hour and 20 minutes, if you like this sort of 70’s sex trash. I mean, check this out:
It’s at least worth a viewing.
Additionally, the film is filled with tons of fun (read: appropriately ludicrous if you have a horror-themed music blog) songs.
Most notable of course, and submitted for your approval this evening, is the 1979 hit Rock Me Dracula, performed by Mokka.
Mokka is an iteration from the brief musical career of Italian twins Nadia and Antonella Cocconcelli. Nadia and Antonella even appear in the film performing the tune. Or at least they appear dancing around with garden hoses and lip syncing to it poorly, anyway. But hey, we’ll take it!
Though played several times throughout the film, it is not included on the official Gerhard Heinz soundtrack for Dracula Blows His Cool, which has several potential Shindig inclusions like Graf Dracula and Disco Strip. Both of those songs are pretty great and may find their way into the playlist in their own right.
For now though, we’ll only indulge in the perfectly appropriate and extra referentialRock Me Dracula, from Mokka.
Shindig Radio personality Graham C. Schofield doesn’t much care for disco music. And as you know, we’re currently knee deep in a Monster Disco Block.
So it may shock you to hear he’s actually responsible for our next tune, another vampire related rug cutter from the 70’s monster comedy, Love At First Bite, starring George Hamilton.
See, last Halloween, Graham bestowed upon The Hole this fresh piece of vinyl soundtrack goodness, and there was much rejoicing.
And if he didn’t think one of these fuckers was gonna find its way onto the playlist this year, he’s out of his mind.
Now, perhaps he did. Perhaps he was even ok with the idea. But what he probably didn’t know was that I already had a few disco-diggers waiting in the dugout, and that this specific gift was the catalyst for me diggin’ up a couple more and making a whole block out of the affair.
So, if you need a scapegoat for any ire you’re experiencing at the hands of a solid week filled with goofball monster disco bullshit, he’s your guy. I’m sure he sympathizes.
As for Love At First Bite, give it a go. It’s a surprisingly measured and effective vampire comedy with a fine and funny Dracula performance from George Hamilton.
It is alleged to have ripped off the plot of 1971’s Guess What Happened to Count Dracula? almost to the T, but as of the time of writing, I have not seen that film and can make no assessment.
What I can say is that it was one of 5 Dracula movies released in 1979. You have, of course, John Badham’s classic starring Frank Langella, Donald Pleaseance and Sir Laurence Oliver. Not to be outdone, you got Werner Herzog’s chilling Nosferatu, starring the unearthly Klaus Kinski. And then, no doubt attempting to a capitalize on the success of Love at First Bite, is Germany’s DiscoDracula film Dracula Blows His Cool, but more on that one in a bit.
Because we can’t talk about Disco Draculas without talking about the other Dracula film from 1979.
Nocturna: Granddaughter of Dracula, is perhaps the Disco Dracula movie, drenched as it is, almost front to back, in so much Disco it actually gets a little hard to watch. It’s practically an hour and 20 minute Disco music video.
It even features the tune Love Is Just a Heartbeat Away (Nocturna’s Theme) from I WillSurvive Disco Superstar, Gloria Gaynor. How they managed to pull her for this weird-ass, low budget monster picture is probably a miracle. She was apparently talked into providing the track by her then manager and future husband. Apparently she’s not too proud of that song in the slightest. We’ll spare you that tune, inclusive and semi-referential though it be, as it’s a fairly standard (albeit pretty decent) Disco tune, with no fun Draculaness.
When it’s not indulging in overly long bouts of dancing to repetitive beats and string synthesizers, Nocturna’s a totally bizarre quasi-skin flick with some weird vampire lore.
See, for Dracula’s granddaughter (played by belly dancer and screenwriter Nia Bonet), the power of disco music slowly changes her into a human or some such nonsense.
It even features a scene with a governing vampire assembly and a new, designer form of blood that the vampires can snort. It was 1979, after all.
Also on tap is actual Dracula John Caradine (even wearing his costume from 1945’s House of Dracula) and Lily Munster herself, Ms. Yvonne DeCarlo. Bonus!
If you’re into bizarre shit and love the idea Disco Draculas, definitely give it a watch. It’s worth it for Nia Bonet’s positively otherworldly performance. Plus, you get to see shit like this:
Outstanding.
But enough about Nocturna, we’re here for Fly By Night from soul singer Pat Hodges, dammit!
Now, out of the box, this fucker is a 12 and a half minute song. Talk about goin’ hard. That’s indulgent, even for Disco.
So, we’ve enlisted the help of our Shindig Audio Magicians to make this one a bit more manageable, with a totally unique Shindig Special Edition version. Not gonna lie though, it hurt a little. Despite the length of Fly By Night, I’m all about how long and epic its Disco is. It pained me to snip out resonant filter sweeps or Simmons drum hits, but it had to be done.
If we’re not gonna use the full length, 12 minute version of Helloween’sHalloween, you better believe Fly By Night ain’t getting no special dispensation.
Without any further ado, though somewhat truncated, here’s Pat Hodges singing Fly By Night!
(It’s A) Monsters’ Holidayby Buck Owens and The Buckaroos
On Oct. 30th 1973, Hee-Haw co-host and future Country Hall of Fame inductee Buck Owens entered his Bakersfield California studio with his Buckaroos to record this shit-kickin’ country creep-out.
Released the following summer, just ahead of Halloween 1974, (It’s A) Monsters’ Holiday reached #6 on the Billboard Country Charts. Not bad for a silly monster song.
And boy howdy, is this one silly.
Rattling off all kinds of monsters – Frankenstein, The Wolfman, Dracula, The Hunchback, Gremlins, Goblins, Mummies and Zombies – Buck Owens gives shout outs all around in this goofy and upbeat tune.
Now, why all of these Monsters inexplicably appearing in Buck’s bedroom constitutes a “holiday” I couldn’t well say. To me, it just sounds like more work.
Cause for Monsters, scaring people is their job, right? At least, you could say it’s not below their pay-grade. So, if they’re just doing their job, than it sounds like they’re at work. Not much of a holiday, just doing what you do for a living.
Now, if they were hanging out by the pool, hittin’ the slopes, or yuckin it up down at the local Monster VFW, I could see considering this a nice little reprieve from their everyday responsibilities; a true holiday.
As it stands, this doesn’t sound like much of a vacation to me. But it does sound like one down home, country-fried Shindiggin’ Halloween hoedown if I’ve ever heard one.
Night of the Vampireby Roky Erickson and The Aliens
Speaking of folks who haven’t made an appearance at the plate for a couple season, here comes Roky Erickson and The Aliens, who haven’t taken a swing in about 6 years, 7 months and 18 days. About.
Ole Roky will probably end up as an All-Star eventually, but he already should be and I’ve neglected adding another one of his songs for far too long.
So we’re gonna line up and Vampire double-header here with Roky’s cautionary ode about a night of a generic vampire.
Or is it? What clues can we unearth?
Well, its all fairly unspecific. That is until Roky tells us a little bit about this vampire. Why, he’s from Transylvania! So, we could easily conclude he’s just talking about Dracula, of course!
Well, wait a minute. Not so fast, cause apparently this Vamp was also born on St. Swithin’s Day.
What in the Sam Hell is St. Swithin’s Day?
Good question. But don’t worry, I’ve already looked it up for us.
St. Swithin’s Day is a British holiday. It’s July 15th. It’s kinda like Groundhog Day, in that it purports to predict how the weather will shake out in it’s aftermath. Seems if it rains on St. Swithin’s Day, you’re lookin at 40 days of more rain to follow.
Got some sunshine? Well, you got some clears skies coming at you for the rest of July and August.
It even has a little limerick:
St Swithun’s day if thou dost rain
For forty days it will remain
St Swithun’s day if thou be fair
For forty days ’twill rain nae mare
Aces. But, what the fuck does that to do with Vampires?
Search me. Roky Erickson was a weird cat, man. God knows what all that electroshock therapy did to his noodle.
Wait, maybe Dracula was born on St. Swithin’s Day?
Well, since Dracula got his name from real life Romanian Aristocrat and gnarly sunofabitch, Vlad III, lets start there.
Vlad was a Prince, and his father, the king, was known as Vlad Dracul, which meant Dragon. That name is what they call a “sobriquet,” and that’s basically just a formal nickname that becomes more popular than your real name. Like Tricky Dick, or The Sultan of Swat, or the King of Pop. You know exactly who I’m talking about and I never needed to say their names. Unless you don’t, which probably just means your younger than shit.
Well anyway, Vlad III had one of these sobriquets too; Vlad Tepes, or Vlad the Impaler. Cause that’s what happens you you shove a fuck-ton of giant pikes through people – you get named for that shit.
Now, since his dad was Vlad Dracul….Little Vlad came to have another nickname, Dracula, which is like the equivalent of what calling a guy around here Johnson or Peterson used to be.
Ok great, but weren’t we taking about his birthday. Yeah, but the problem is that nobody’s really even sure what year Vlad Tepes, was born, much less the day. General consensus seems to be 1431. That’s as good as we can get on that front.
So, how about fake Dracula?
Same. And the novel was published on May 26th, so no winky references there.
Well, how about the guys who played fake Dracula? Let’s see…
Max Schrek? September 6th.
Bela Lugosi? October 20th
Carlos Villarías? July 7th. Man that’s close.
John Carradine? February 5th.
Christopher Lee? May 27th.
Jack Palance? February 18th.
Klaus Kinski? October 18th.
Frank Langella? January 1st.
Udo Kier? October 14th.
Judd Hirsh, maybe? Naw. March 15th.
Duncan Regehr? October 5th.
Gary Oldman? March 21st.
Gerard Fuckin’ Butler, even? November 13th.
That guy from Argento’s 3D shit show? That was Thomas Kretschmann. And nope, September 8th.
What about that new guy? It’s way too late for Roky at this point, but what the hell, right?
Luke Evans was in Dracula Untold. He was born April, 15th,
William Smith? Wait, really…William “Normad” Smith? Yep, he played ole Drac in The Erotic Rites of Countess Dracula in 2001. But no. March 24th.
Claes Bang most recently play him on Netflix. April 28th.
Fuck, really?
I dunno, Leslie Nielsen maybe? Nope. Februrary 11th.
Jesus, was anyone interesting born on July 15th?
Sure…
Hall of fame Basketball player Frank “Pop” Morgenweck, Country Singer Lloyd “Cowboy” Copas, Airwolf’s Jan-Michael Vincent, Painter and toothpaste spokesman Rembrandt, Linda Ronstadt, Filmmaker DA Pennebaker, Jesse “The Body” Ventura, Johnny Thunders, Terry “The Step Father” O’Qiunn, Lolita “I Have the Coolest Last Name Ever” Davidovich, Forrest “What’s Really Goin On With My Eye?” Whittaker, comedian Eddie Griffin, Brian “The Peach Pit” Austin Green and current Portland Trailblazer Point Guard Damian Lillard.
..were all born St. Swithin’s day.
From my extensive research however, I have found that only Brian Austin Green and Cowboy Copas were actual Vampires. Brian was born in 1973, which probably makes him a bit too young for the honor. So, I can only conclude this song is about legendary Vampire Lloyd “Cowboy” Copas.
It’s been roughly 7 years, 6 months and 16 days since Blue Öyster Cult has made an appearance on The Shindig. Roughly.
Back then, it was their contribution to John Carpenter’s 1978 classic Halloween, (Don’t Fear) The Reaper, which afforded them an early nod on The Playlist.
Well now they’re back, all these years later, with the less inclusive, though infinitely more referential, Nosferatu.
This one was the final track on their 1977 release Spectres, an album which opens with the much more celebrated (though no less referential) Godzilla. As it happens, Nosferatu was actually the B-Side to Godzilla, making for one very referential 45.
Being horror fans, Nosferatu is a word I’m quite sure you are all fairly familiar with. But what hell is Nosferatu?
Well, it’s a word that for sure appears in Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel Dracula, though Ole Bram claimed he got it from Emily Gerard’s Transylvania Travelogue The Land Beyond the Forest. However, Emily seems to merely claim it’s a Romainian word which means “Vampire,” although no such word really seems to exist in Romanian.
Some claim the word came from the Greek “nosphoros” which meant “disease-carrying.” Others say it takes root in the old Romanian term “necurat,” meaning “unclean.” It was the kinda thing you’d say so you didn’t have to say “vampire,” lest speaking it’s name called the creature to you.
Lotta ideas. No concrete answers.
At any rate, occultist producer Albin Grau and screenwriter Henrik Galeen liked the word so much, they used it to evade securing any rights for their unauthorized 1922 adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula.
They were unsuccessful however, as Bram Stoker’s widow, Florence, sued the shit out of them, bankrupted their fledgling occultist studio Prana-Film, and almost had every copy of the FW Murnau’s film Nosferatu burned into oblivion.
So, for almost 100 years now, “Nosferatu” has directly related to not just vampires, but specifically, Dracula.
And Blue Öyster Cult, like Grau, Galeen and Murnau, are clearly referencing Bram Stoker’s classic novel. So much so that some of the lyrics directly reference passages from the book.
But, since the 1922 Nosferatu is a silent picture, I’ve added some samples from Werner Herzog’s awesomely unsettling 1979 remake, just for a little ambiance.
So get unclean with Klaus Kinski and the disease carrying cultists of the Blue Öyster with…
In 1985, rap pioneer Lovebug Starski (best known widely for, well this song) decided it’d be a good idea if he just recorded some random track about Amityville. Not for any Amityville movie mind you, but rather during a 5 year lull in the franchise (3D having been released in ‘83, and Curse not for another 4 years.)
Hell, he didn’t even make it in reference to the movies really, but just cause he thought it’d be fun I guess and maybe even a hit.
And he was right! This sucker broke the Billboard Top 20 in ‘86, which means that, for a period of time in America, people were legitimately rocking out to this song. Which is totally understandable. This song is awesome and weird as shit.
Starski uses the real Amityville legend (I guess?) as a sort of jumping off point for some crazy-ass song about a vaguely Haunted House where nothing much happens, but everybody visits.
A Karloff-esque butler greets Starski upon his arrival, then later Dracula shows up for no good reason and raps. Now, that alone is plenty of reason for Amityville to make the cut for every Halloween party playlist ever created.
And as if that wasn’t bizarre enough though, just for the hell of it, Captain Kirk, Scotty and Spock arrive at one point to talk about Starski over the spooky beat. I’m sorry, what? Why? This song is fucking nuts.
Apparently, looking at the 45 sleeve above, you’ll note the record came complete with a “Free Black Hole,” ya know, for all the “time-shift special appearances.” I guess at least they tried to justify this nonsense with some kind of acknowledgement. Not sure if that makes it more or less weird, though.
So take a drive out to Amityville. You know, the house on the hill. You just make a left, then you make a right and……Amityville!
The last time I checked this was a fucking shindig.
But what is a shindig, exactly?
Well, Merriam-Webster defines shindig as follows:
ˈSHinˌdiɡ/ noun informal
a social gathering with dancing
a usually large or lavish party
Google definitions had this to add:
a large, lively party, especially one celebrating something.
Now, if you listen to any of the turkeys over at Urban Dictionary, they’d all have you believe a shindig is a small affair, consisting of anywhere from 5 to 20 people. One bozo even suggests it can contain no more than 12!
That’s why Webster’s is Webster’s and these idiot kids are logged into Urban Dictionary from their mom’s laptop.
No one better try curtailing our shindig, particularly not because some dildo in the cafeteria uses it improperly. No, we’re going definitive with our socially lavish and lively gathering that’s celebrating something.
And around here, that something is Halloween, which encompasses jack-o-Lanterns, trick or tricking and and all sorts of spooky shit of a generalized nature. That definitely includes Monsters.
From Hanna-Barbera’s 1965 record of the same name, Monster Shindig looks to muscle in on Boris Pickett’s racket by throwing their characters Super-Snooper and Blabber Mouse into the mix, stumbling upon just this type of haunted jamboree.
The cat and mouse team doesn’t show up in the song however, leaving this bizarro tune free to roam around the streets on Halloween night.
So, let’s have a party…big big big and kick-off the second half of our playlist right, with another kind of shindig, performed here by Danny Hutton, who some of you may know as one third of Three Dog Night.
Since we all know and have just addressed with whom you’d contact over telephone wires should it become apparent that you in fact have harmful apparitions approaching, let’s task listeners with a similar question:
Yeah, but who do you call when you have Monsters?
That’s right. And at last we come to The Monster Squad. From the very first CD in 2002, The Monster Squad has been a permanent fixture of Halloween Shindig and remains one of my favorite selections on the playlist.
Granted, I may be a bit biased but this song is representing hard. Let’s check the stats:
Is it about a horror movie?
Check, it’s about the goddamn Monster Squad.
Ah, yes, but is it in the movie?
In it? Motherfucker, it’s the Title Track. Triple check that shit.
We talkin’ bout Monsters?
Fuck yeah we are. It’s like a goddamn monster mash up in this motherfucker. Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, the Wolfman, the Mummy, the Creature from the Black Lagoon. That’s the big five, son. Throw in some sexy vampire chicks, a grotesque bat transformation and a werewolf exploding out of the sky and you’ve got some real monster shit on lock. Check + to Monster Song.
What more could you ask for? Well, they even mention Halloween too. Sure, it’s to illustrate how this ain’t Halloween (or some phony deal) but we’ll just look that other way on that one. They say Halloween and damn it if that ain’t all that matters sometimes.
Now all of that sounds like a Referentially Inclusive Monster Halloween Title Track to me, gang.
And it’s a Monster Rap to boot? Holy shit, is there anything this song can’t do?
One of the most ridiculous tracks you can imagine, The Monster Squad was suspiciously recorded by some anonymous collective of Hip-Hop Demigods that chose to remain nameless. What?!
Why the hell anyone would elect to do this is so far beyond the scope of my imagination it boarders on madness. If I was responsible for this song I’d put it on every job application I ever filled out.
2 years as an Assistant Hanger Inspector for Sears and Roebuck.
4 months as a Substitute Wigsmith at The Downtown Clownery.
Oh yeah and I wrote the motherfucking Monster Squad Rap. What’s up?
From a time when everyone thought something like this was a really great idea, The Monster Squad (for anyone thinking otherwise) is a really great idea.
It’s is pretty whack? Yeah, I guess so. If you wanna be a jerk about it.
Is it poorly conceived and equally executed? Yeah, I suppose I’d have to concede that fact too, if you really want this to be a frank discussion about musical integrity.
But fuck that discussion and fuck you for wanting it pal, cause this song fucking rules. It’s a rap song about a group of kids fighting The Universal Monsters. Oh, did you not catch that? It’s a rap song about a group of kids fighting The Universal Monsters. Whomever is responsible for this song should be a cultural icon. They should have a fucking Grammy and an Academy Award.
Instead, (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing took the honor that year. All right, fair enough. Maybe that’s a better song, but it lacks the lyric:
“We don’t wanna hang with the walking dead, so we gotta kick some monster butt instead.”
What’s up now, Academy of Arts and Sciences?
Looking into this travesty further, I discovered the competition that year was actually pretty stiff. Check this shit out:
“Storybook Love” by Willy DeVille and Mark Knopfler from The Princess Bride
Damn, that’s a solid 80’s line-up right there. Maybe I spoke too soon. Still, it should have been nominated at the absolute least. Who the hell is still talking about Cry Freedom 26 years later?
No one, that’s who.
But I digress.
An interesting side note to this song: the original version I had on the 2002 CD was pulled from my old VHS copy of Monster Squad. Incidentally, this was later signed by Tom “The Gillman” Woodruff Jr. Coincidence? I like to think not.
This version of the song contained the line:
“First came Dracula, now the Wolfman too, The Mummy and the Gillman swimming in the pool.”
What? Why did that roll call just fall the fuck apart?
Hear that sample below:
I always thought this was a pretty strange and horrendous line, particularly when they could have just as simply said “and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.”
But I guess they couldn’t say “and the Creature from the Black Lagoon,” for the home video release. Damn copyrights.
All things considered, that’s not a bad save. Syllabically sound, it even sort of rhymes, at least no more or less than the original false rhyme. But damn is it silly. Who the fuck is the Gillman? Why are they calling The Creature from the Black Lagoon “The Gillman?” And why is he in the pool? Did I miss a scene where he climbs out of a pool? Why did he just say that?
Upon upgrading the tune for better quality many years later when The Monster Squad finally saw a DVD release, I noticed the line was suddenly changed to “and the Creature From The Black Lagoon” and I thought “Shit, that must have been the original lyric. How about that.” Now, I just feel sort of nostalgic for the old, butchered scab.
But I’ve spoken too verbosely about all of this as is, so let’s just make with the goods, huh?
One of my favorite songs on the playlist from one of my favorite movies of all time. Here it is….The Monster Squad.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your perspective) there was more than one disco Dracula tune.
In fact, there was a whole album. It was even called Disco Dracula. It was the only effort from weird German band called Hot Blood and there’s a couple of vampire themed tracks on this sucker. Hell, there’s even a Frankenstein song called “Baby Frankie Stein.”
Mostly a funky instrumental, this lyrically sparse number does repeatedly feature the the titular phrase “Soul Dracula,” which is honestly enough for the Shindig. However, Hot Blood puts a little pepper on the porridge by using a goofy Dracula voice. Bonus.
Leading this track in is a clip from Blacula, cause lets face it, Blacula is the soulest motherfuckin Dracula around. To quote James Brown “Eddie Murphy, eat your heart out.”
And because it is mostly an instrumental, we went ahead and saddled the whole track with some Blacula clips, cause Blacula is awesome, and he deserves it.
Johnny Alucard pouring blood all over Hammer Vixen Caroline Munro. While perhaps best know for her Bond Girl performance in The Spy Who Loved Me, she’ll always be Victoria Phibes in my book, even if she is uncredited.
Disco was no stranger to novelty tracks. And as all you Shindiggers know, novelty tracks were no stranger to monster songs.
Though originally recorded in 1979 by Andy Forray, The Shindig prefers this slightly more up-tempo version by Red Lipstique.
Never heard of Red Lipstique? Well, that’s because they weren’t really a real band. It was a pseudonym The Bollocks Brother’s used when they released several singles, including this cover of Andy Forray’s disco hit.
Never heard of The Bollocks Brothers? Well, I hadn’t either.
However, I have heard of this song, and it’s definitely Shindig material, no matter what band records it, or what name they use.
So c’mon Weeners, sing along…
“I wanna suck your OOOOOHHHH!”
Dracula, Drac’s back!
(side note: I could think of nothing more fitting to lead this track in than a clip from Hammer’s Dracula A.D. 1972, which finds Christopher Lee’s Drac being resurrected into London of the early 70’s. Not quite the disco era but still appropriate.)
Dracula’s Daughterby Screaming Lord Sutch and The Savages
British rocker Screaming Lord Sutch is a pretty spooky cat.
Check him out.
That’s pretty spooky.
He also made some spooky music, too.
Like this tune that I’m filing under the Monster Song category, as he isn’t explicitly detailing the plot of the 1936 sequel to Universal’s classic Dracula.
He pretty much just uses the title as a jump-off point for some crazy story about a girl named Mary that bites him in a graveyard. A girl who’s pops just happens to be Dracula.
Here’s their totally legitimate logo.He also hung himself in 1999 following his mother’s death, and years of clinical depression. Now that’s pretty spooky.
But what the 3rd Earl of Harrow left behind was a lot of a fun garage tunes and some perfect Shindiggin’ material.
Bookended with clips from Dracula’s Daughter just for good measure.
The Shindig hopes you’re resting in peace David Sutch, you spooky sonofabitch.
