TRACK #333:

The Night of the Monster’s Party by The Monsters

My quest to find more and more Monstery Halloween songs for this playlist has gotten to point where I have to dig a little deeper than usual.

Anymore nowadays, the songs I’m coming across aren’t always readily available. This has lead to me hunting down and purchasing some rarer records without the benefit of hearing them first.

This has been pretty fun though. In an age where virtually any song you can imagine is easily accessible somewhere virtually, it’s added a bit of excitement back into discovering music. Waiting for a video to pop up randomly, or for someone to post a record for sale, or simply waiting for that record to arrive feels akin to something from a bygone era.

Now, that can also be frustrating too, because if a song isn’t streaming on music services, and no one has posted it on YouTube, there’s a good chance it’s also not available for sale either. So now I just got a pile of potential additions and Lord knows if I’ll ever be able to hear ‘em.

But there’s also been plenty of occasions where, despite not being digitized somewhere (or somewhere easily searchable) a physical copy is still available to purchase. As you might imagine though, this has lead to some disappointments. Such is the gamble. It’s much easier when someone has already posted whatever song it is I’m looking for to YouTube so I can easily disregard it or snatch it up at no personal time or monetary expense.

But that’s the fun.

And when it pays off, it’s definitely worth it.

And then, you write all of that, and during a cursory bit of information gathering while finalizing the post, you type the name of that song into a Google search and find out that not only was the song posted to YouTube 8 fucking years ago, but it was posted by the song’s goddamn author and singer.

Such is the case with our 2023 opener, The Night of the Monster’s Party from The Monsters.

What the fuck, YouTube? Not one time did your internal search pull this video. Not once! And across many pages. Trust me, I kept clicking.

But a simple Google search (so simple in fact I can’t believe I hadn’t done it until that moment) pulls that shit up as the first goddamn hit!? You’re owned by goddamn Google, you piece of shit.

So, rather than the line,

“It still seems wild to me that I had to purchase this 45 to be able to hear this tune.“

which I had written,

I now need to type something stupid like;

“It’s wild to me that I went through the entire process of finding this 45 for sale, purchasing it, waiting for it to arrive in the mail and throwing it on my turntable to hear this song, when all I had to do was a fuckin’ Google search.”

Seriously? I have to write that shit? On a blog that gets broadcast to anyone across the planet with an internet connection? Jesus.

Now, I suppose I could have just erased that shit, and went about my business, but where’s the fun in that? All of what I said above is still true for a bunch of other songs we’ve got lined up this year, and I believe it. Plus, it is kinda funny to read it back in retrospect, realizing what a moron I was.

But I severely digress.

In my defense (but just barely) Bill forgot his own song’s party was possessive, which apparently threw the YouTube search engine into some fuckin’ algorithmic tail spin that returned nothing but My Little Pony videos instead of the 70’s monster song that all of my viewing history should’ve alerted YouTube that I was actually looking for. That, and no one had yet linked Bill’s video on Discogs. No excuse, ultimately, but I’ve since corrected that little error too. Twice over now.

Interestingly, Bill provides this bit of insight on the video’s description:

“I recorded this in 1973 and released it on Dart Records. We recorded at Chappells studio and called ourselves The Monsters. I think we released it just prior to Halloween. We did the rounds on Capital Radio etc and I have photographs of me with fangs and a facefull of black and white makeup. Those were the days!!!! We had quite a few sales but not enough to get in the charts I am afraid!”

That’s some solid firsthand info right there. He even tossed in a shout out to Halloween. Double bonus. Let’s go for the hat trick!

The upshot of actually purchasing this 45 was that the seller included an awesome promotional sheet. Check this shit out!

Now that’s what I call a win.

Not sure if I’d call this a “disco beat” though. But hey, Dart’s gotta sell this shit to, I dunno, whoever the hell’s in the market for Monster music in 1974. Disco freaks? Beats me. Was anyone even into Disco in ‘74? Was Disco even Disco in ‘74? Cause this shit don’t sound like Disco to me, so maybe Disco was different then.

Either way, that’s of no concern to us really, cause this song’s great however you classify it.

But we should address the cause of this whole YouTube search fiasco to begin with; that apostrophe S.

Cause this is the night of the Monster’s Party, as we previously discussed. It’s possessive. Now, Bill forgot that part, leading to our search debacle, but even Dart Records here seem to be confused. The 45 says Monster’s, and this promotional sheet says both Monsters and Monster’s. Ok then.

I’m going with that Monsters shit is a typo, and it’s Monster’s. It’s their party.

But wait. These guys singing are The Monsters. So that’s a extra layer of confusion. Is it their party?

Now, they’re not these Monsters, who are also Monsters from this exact same time period, not to add further confusion or anything. These LARPers in the graveyard here aren’t from Britain. But well get to them, and their own “Disco” monster jam in just bit.

Back to this party.

Now, in the event you’re thinking thus might be some kinda backstage, monster groupie, sex drugs and disco-get-together, fear not. The lyrics set the record straight pretty quick.

In an old castle, Dracula, Frankenstein and the Werewolf are dancing to a song. Not this song of course, cause that wouldn’t make much sense and I’m pretty sure Monsters don’t actually listen to this kinda shit. But they’re dancing to a tune. 74? I’m gonna say it was Dark Lady by Cher. Why not?

But then the Mummy shows up later and gets scared by some other bloodsucking vampire, I guess. Even Dracula’s Daughter joins at one point! She might be the scary vampire. Unclear. But what is clear is that these are the real titular Monsters, and thus the party is their’s.

They say it’s happened all before, which is weird. Perhaps these guys do this a lot. Or maybe they’re just referring to The Monsters Hop (not possessive), or possibly even the Midnight Monsters Hop (also not possessive), or the dozens of other “Hey, let’s have Dracula dance around with Frankenstein while Wolfman plays the bass or some shit” songs, cause why not, right? If they got together, monsters would grab instruments and dance and party and eat plasma pizza, would they not?

The most curious lyric though is the warning, for us the listeners, to lock our doors. Why? These monsters all seem pretty occupied dancing around in this old castle. The one chick’s hungry from some monster pie, what the fuck that is. She tryin to eat one of these dudes? She just tryin to get balled out at this party? What’s her deal?

There’s no indication that they’re heading out afterwards to tear up the countryside. Maybe do a little fuckin, but that’s upstairs. Chances are, if these dudes weren’t singing to us about this soirée, we wouldn’t even know it was happening at all.

I’ll lock my doors all right, don’t worry about that pal. But not because some literary characters are dancing with a creature I’ve never seen before in an old castle I don’t live anywhere near. Pretty sure I’m good, bud. I appreciate the warning and all, but I’m not too concerned about this party spilling out onto the streets of Los Angeles. The pantsless meth-head posted up in a tent on the corner, shouting into a pay phone that hasn’t worked since 2005 is all the motivation I need to keep those fuckers fully bolted.

Unnecessary warnings aside, kicking off our Referential Monster of a year in perfect monster party fashion, with a little help from the Mysterioso Pizzicato no less, it’s The Monsters with The Night of the Monster’s Party.