frankenstein song

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Frankenstein (Chuck Osbourne)

TRACK #364:

Frankenstein by Chuck Osbourne

Whether talking about the man himself or his godforsaken creation, lots of folks have sung about Frankenstein. I still think not as many as Dracula, but it’s a pretty hefty list either way.

However, I don’t think anyone has sung about him as enthusiastically as Chuck Osbourne does here, on his 1975 single, Frankenstein.

Like the bastard son of Louie Armstrong and Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, Chuck practically throws my voice out screaming the praises of the creature for doing a bunch of shit I’m not even sure he ever did. Hard to know really, cause I can’t rightly understand most of whatever the hell Chuck’s even saying in this song. But man, is it awesome.

I might even go so far as to call this the coolest song I’ve ever heard about Frankenstein, Doctor or otherwise. I’m not sure why it took me so long to find this one, but I’m sure glad I did, and I hope that you are too.

Seems there’s a little confusion over Chuck’s name, though. See, he released this song twice on a Pennsylvania label called Hittsburgh USA, which I gotta say, is a pretty outstanding name for a label from the Monongahela Valley.

Can’t tell which record was first though, as they both got released in ‘75. One of them was the B-Side of Day Dream Drifter. That one is credited to Chuck Osborne. And that guy had a couple of other singles.

The other one is a A-Sider with an instrumental version of the tune on the B-side. Now, that one is credited to a guy named Chuck Osbourne, with a U. That’s weird. Chucky U doesn’t have any other singles, just this one.

Was this just a typo? What gives? Guy hiding from the Feds? What’s the deal here?

I imagine if my name was spelt wrong on my own goddamn single, the only single Hittsburgh USA had to their name mind you, I’d be pretty pissed off. Maybe that’s why he spends the whole song just screaming.

And it’s not like they didn’t know how to spell it. One of these pressings got it right. Useless, of course, that’s not even his name at all, and it’s some kinda cover. Maybe he is hiding from the Feds. Guy sounds a little unhinged here about Frankenstein, it’s not outta the realm of possibility to think he’s done some wild shit. I better stop asking so many questions.

I’d say I’m gonna go with Osborne, cause that guy had more releases, but I don’t think so. That no U business is some B-Side bullshit.

I’m goin Osbourne, cause that’s the guy who released the full-on Frankenstein single, with the instrumental on the flip. Frankenstein by Chuck Osbourne is an goddamn A-sider, fuckin’ Hittsburgh USA. Put some respect on that name, however you spell it. Cause if this song is any indication, Chuck deserves it.

 

Audio

Hey Frankenstein

TRACK #361:

Hey Frankenstein by Ecstasy

So, what’s all the fuss about Dracula, anyway?

Guy’s kinda boring, ain’t he? Drink a little blood, flash a little cape, hiss a bit with some fangs maybe, whatever. Big deal. Why’s this dude getting so much love in the tracks?

What about ole Frankenstein?

Well, while seemingly not as referenced as The Count, Frankenstein is still no slouch when it comes to recordings. In fact, according to a title search of “Frankenstein” on Discogs, there’s 785 master recordings. That’s almost 120 more than Dracula! Maybe old nut-neck ain’t 2nd banana after all. Maybe he is the big dog at the party. Though in fairness,  a ton of those releases are just various compilation appearances and covers of the Edgar Winter classic. Without meticulously scrubbing either search for duplicates of that nature, it would hard to say for sure who emerges as the clear winner.

That’s of no real concern to us though, cause we’re gonna show Frank a little love now anyway, cause Lord knows he’s been getting the high-hat. Plus, I got a bunch of Franken-Jams clogging up the bullpen. Not as many as Dracula, but still quite a few.

I think it’s worth noting that in 9 out of 10 songs it’s the monster that’s being referenced rather than the Doctor. Sometimes that can be hard to determine with some of these songs, but it’s a safe bet it’s usually the creature.

And we can look the other way on that one, right gang? We can just accept that most people are calling the creature “Frankenstein,” accurate or not. I’m prepared to let it go for a block of Franken-Rock, aren’t you?

Yeah, of course you are, cause you don’t give a damn. Does the track groove? Yeah? Well then fire it up.

And groove this one does, cause we’re flippin’ the switch on this block with another song I had to fish outta the drink just to hear. And once again, it was definitely worth it. Some people had the A-side from the Ecstasy single What’d I Say? but no one seemed to have the B-side, Hey Frankenstein.

Ecstasy was a French disco band in the late 70’s that cut a number of 45s, but seemed to fizzle out just before the turn of the decade.

Chris Dobat, otherwise known as Mister Ecstasy, was the driving force behind that band and he seems to have pivoted to solo Funk work in the 80’s. Not bad.

Here, he lets it all hang out with some funky disco dedicated to Doctor himself. At least, I think anyway. Cause I’m not gonna lie, half the time I can’t tell what the hell Chris is actually saying. The fact that this is the B-side to What’d I Say? seems entirely appropriate.

However, I didn’t wanna leave y’all hanging. So, I decided to listen to this song on repeat, for an ungodly amount of times, until I figured out what the lyrics are.

Here is my best attempt. If anyone would like to assist me or correct any of these lines, I’ll take all the help I can get. We posted the song to YouTube last year, and you can use their playback speed to help with the translation. Though I warn you, it’s only so helpful.

Hey Frankenstein
Hey Hey, Hey Hey (x2)

Hey Frankenstein
Comes walking in
you know its him
Oh, bad Frankenstein

Hey, Frankenstein
He’s gotta prove
He’s in the groove
Oh, bad Frankenstein

He takes a drink
To make it quick
It’s all feelin fine
He can’t play fair
He doesn’t care
He’s bad Frankenstein

Hey, Frankenstein
He’s doctor
When his medicine
Oh, he’s Frankenstein

Hey, Frankenstein
He wore his dice
And they’ll look nice
He’s no valentine

So full of ice
He wore them twice
He’s no friend of mine
And if your taught
To live to start
Don’t, bad Frankenstein

Hey Frankenstein
Hey Hey, Hey Hey (x2)

He’s moving fast
He’s moving where it’s at
Looking for fun
Anyway, anywhere, anyone

When there’s no more fun
He’s back on the run
Playboy #1
Always looking for fun

On the run

?
He’s got a secret
Dice!
He wore them twice!
Louder
Sexy
Horns
He begs it

Mr. Frankenstein
Comes a-walking in
Mr. Frankenstein
Funky Valentine

Hey, Frankenstein
He’s gotta prove
He’s in the groove
Oh, bad Frankenstein

Hey, Frankenstein
When it get hot
He’s very bad
He’s bad, Frankenstein

He knows the way
To scare his prey
Oh he’s Frankenstein
He’ll never let you get away
Here comes Frankenstein

Hey Frankenstein
Comes walking in
you know its him
Oh, bad Frankenstein

Hey, Frankenstein
He’s gotta prove
He’s in the groove
Oh, bad Frankenstein

He takes a drink
To make it quick
It’s all feelin fine
He can’t play fair
He doesn’t care
He’s bad Frankenstein (x4)

So, that’s what I got anyway.

Can’t say I’m entirely convinced I got any of this right, and lots of it just sounds wrong. But some it of seems right, and after entirely too many listens, I gotta call it a wrap. But please, if you’re feeling like maybe you also gotta know what this guy is saying and my translation seems like trash, help me out. Lemme know what you think.

Oh, and hey! Speaking of letting it all hang out, that’s a full on fully up there adorning the front of this 45. Cause hey, if you jump into a tub to record your single, maybe a nipple slips out, ya know? It’s ‘78! It’s disco! What’s a nipple? C’mon, get loose, will ya?

Mary Shelley would have wanted to see her nipple.

 

 

Audio

(It’s A) Monsters’ Holiday

TRACK #245:

(It’s A) Monsters’ Holiday by Buck Owens and The Buckaroos

On Oct. 30th 1973, Hee-Haw co-host and future Country Hall of Fame inductee Buck Owens entered his Bakersfield California studio with his Buckaroos to record this shit-kickin’ country creep-out.

Released the following summer, just ahead of Halloween 1974, (It’s A) Monsters’ Holiday reached #6 on the Billboard Country Charts. Not bad for a silly monster song.

And boy howdy, is this one silly.

Rattling off all kinds of monsters – Frankenstein, The Wolfman, Dracula, The Hunchback, Gremlins, Goblins, Mummies and Zombies – Buck Owens gives shout outs all around in this goofy and upbeat tune.

Now, why all of these Monsters inexplicably appearing in Buck’s bedroom constitutes a “holiday” I couldn’t well say. To me, it just sounds like more work.

Cause for Monsters, scaring people is their job, right? At least, you could say it’s not below their pay-grade. So, if they’re just doing their job, than it sounds like they’re at work. Not much of  a holiday, just doing what you do for a living.

Now, if they were hanging out by the pool, hittin’ the slopes, or yuckin it up down at the local Monster VFW, I could see considering this a nice little reprieve from their everyday responsibilities; a true holiday.

As it stands, this doesn’t sound like much of a vacation to me. But it does sound like one down home, country-fried Shindiggin’ Halloween hoedown if I’ve ever heard one.

Atta boy, Buck!

 

Audio

Don’t Meet Mr. Frankenstein

TRACK #216:

Don’t Meet Mr. Frankenstein by Carlos Casal Jr.

Here’s an interesting Frankenstein song, in that it makes the strange delineation of referring to him as Mr. Frankenstein and not Dr. Frankenstein.

Okay, fair enough. But who the hell is Mr. Frankenstein?

Well, it’s Victor Frankenstein, right? He is a Mr. Frankenstein. But why specify an honorific different then the one typically associated with this classic literary character? Don’t make no sense.

So, does he mean the monster? Could you refer to the monster as Mr. Frankenstein?

Sure, why not, right? Dr. Frankenstein is technically a kind of father, so the surname could carry over. The monster has no medical degree to speak of and is himself not a doctor. So if you were going to make the distinction, you’d make it for that reason, right?

No, no, I’m not talking about Dr. Frankenstein, I’m talking about his monster, Mr. Frankenstein.

Oh, ok then.

Well, how bout the lyrics? Surely they’ll provide some clarification.

Well, at one point this Mr. Frankenstein character (whomever he may be) opens his mouth and bites the head off the singer, thus causing him to die. Does that sound like something Dr. Frankenstein might do, or is even capable of doing? Not in my book.

Honestly, it doesn’t really sound like anything the monster would do either, but c’mon, he is a monster, so he’s probably more liable to do such a thing.

So, this song is either about unnaturally bitey Frankenstein’s Monster, or some cannibalistic jerk named Frankenstein who just happens eat people at local cafes.

Either way, horrifying.