graduation day – Halloween Shindig

TRACK #274:

Gangster Rock by Felony

And now back to Graduation Day…

Some songs that appear in horror movies aren’t referential. That’s OK. Some of the best songs on the playlist are purely inclusive. Fast As a Shark, Goo Goo Muck, Angel of Death. All great.

But sometimes they’re more than just not referential. Sometimes they seem totally out of place. But even that’s OK. Everybody But You, Computer Date, Love Is a Lie. Still good stuff. In fact, I’d argue they’re the backbone of this playlist.

Most often, you’ll get these if a band makes a surprise cameo in the movie, playing their tune live at a party or a school dance. Usually this is a nice treat, like Maria Videl in Once Bitten. Sometimes it’s a dirty trick, like The Offspring in Idle Hands.

And just as much might be the case with LA Rock outfit Felony, who are performing at the titular dance in the the film Graduation Day. Their song Gangster Rock seems just a little out of place.

But I get it. It makes plenty of sense that a band would perform a completely innocuous song that’s totally unrelated to the horrific goings-ons around them. Goings-ons of which they are completely unaware. It’s perfectly reasonable. Logically, I might even say it’s preferred. Why would a band, playing a normal Graduation Day dance be playing some spooky or otherwise horrifying jam?

But that’s inner logic. The outer logic is you’re a music supervisor and you should theme it up. And if you’re gonna hard pass on that, at least grab a better song than fuckin Gangster Rock. Which, while not the terrible (I mean, I am including it) is far from the best.

Classic rock fans will immediately note its flagrant similarity to a much more famous song called China Groove by the much more famous Doobie Brothers. Seriously, is this China Groove? It sounds exactly like China Groove. In fairness though, it’s probably the song’s saving grace. Making your tune sound like a more famous hit isn’t the worst move you can make. More famous have engaged in more overt and made more money doing it. So hey.

But more importantly, even under a favorable light, Gangster Rock overstays it’s welcome. Well overstays it.

Now, I could be mistaken, but I doubt Gangster Rock is a 7 and half minute song. But it keeps playing, in almost comic mockery, for what appears to be an impossible amount of time for a song of this nature.

It starts innocently enough, with Felony adorned in some vaguely prohibition-era mobster attire, playing live on stage while kids cut a rug and…roller skate? Sure why not, it’s 1981.

And that’s all well and good for a spell, but the song just won’t end. It powers on, rebelling against all previous notions of pop-rock architecture, approaching an, I’d almost say Prog-Rock level, if it weren’t so blatantly repetitive.

Ultimately, it gets dragged over poor Linnea’s Quigley death at the hands of an aggressive bee-keeper. Wait, he had a sword. Hmm, I’m gonna say he was a fencer. It’s easy to get confused with Gangster Rock stabbing at your cochlea.

Since I couldn’t track down an official release from Felony containing Gangster Rock, I’ve grabbed it directly from the film. However, for the sake of your own sanity, I’ve employed some clever editing to spare you it’s ungodly runtime. Cause no one should be ask to deal with almost 8 minutes of Gangster Rock. Hell, even the 3 and change I’m subjecting you too here is of suspect length.

So grab a fencing mask, strap on a pair of roller skates and do the China Groove…I mean Gangster Rock.

TRACK #271:

The Winner by Lance Owg, Gabriel Rohels & David Cole

Whenever I throw on an 80’s slasher flick I’ve never seen, I want it to sound exactly like The Boogeyman. It lets you know, right out of the gate, that a certain vibe is headed your way. The shoulders relax a bit and you can settle right into that warm, grainy fuzz of analog era horror.

In the event that the movie doesn’t sound like The Boogeyman however, I want it to sound exactly like Graduation Day; the sort of upbeat, discoed-out answer to that sound.

Can you beat this song? Sure. There’s a whole host of of better songs. There’s even better songs that have started off other horror movies. But if you’re giving me some B-grade horror movie bullshit, raise the flag. And it’s a short list of songs raising that flag higher than The Winner.

Listen to this thing. Are you kiddin’ me with this song? Lance Owg (which is a great name by the way) teams up Gabriel Rohels and David Cole to produce a song so suited to its surroundings, so perfectly a product of its era, so seemingly at odds with the movie, yet so wonderfully in tune with it, that you almost have to stand in awe.

Played over an extended slow motion montage of a highschool track and field competition, it’s priming you for an evening of go-for-the-gold and give-it-your-all horror. Whether Graduation Day makes good on that promise is a bit dubious. Ultimately, that’s up to you, but I like it well enough.

From 1981, right in the thick of the action, it skimps ya a bit on the gore, but there’s plenty of hallmarks here for slasher lovers to embrace; sub-par acting, strange behavior, a live rock band performing at a dance (more on them later) and, of course, some nudity.

In fact, The Queen herself, Linnea Quigley, was cast to replace an actress that would not fulfill her contractual nudity clause. And when you’re in a tight spot, you need to bring in a big gun, and our girl Linnea’s about as big a gun as you can get. Maybe not in 1981, sure, but in retrospect, it’s a serious pull.

Sorry. Linnea gets me sidetracked every time. What were we talkin’ about again? Oh yeah, a song. And a questionable song, to say the least.

Is this a song people wanna hear? I dunno. I doubt it. It’s a song I wanna hear and that counts for something, I think. At least around here, anyway.

Is it a song people are gonna associate with Halloween? Probably gonna go with a big “no” on that one too. But there’s no shortage of songs like that on this playlist.

Is it a song your party goers are gonna wanna hear on Halloween? 2+2 still equals 4, so this one, maybe not such a big hit at the party. Though certainly danceable, you can’t deny.

But, is it Shindig Material? Oh, you better believe…it’s a winner. The Winner, in fact.

And everybody wants to be the winner.