Halloween movies

Oct. 10th: Halloween II (2009)

I love Halloween. Be that the holiday, the music, the decorations, or the movie itself from John Carpenter.

As such, I avoided Rob Zombie’s remake for almost a decade. I finally gave in this year though, trawling for footage to use in the montage The Shindig is currently putting together for the opening of The Art of the Halloween Mask show.

I also figured “Hell, this is a Halloween blog. How long can I keep on doing this with a clear conscience having never watched Rob’s remakes?”

Very easily apparently. And I should have kept right on doing just that.

I won’t even talk about the original here. No, this is a minor celebration of the Halloween sequel, so we’re begrudgingly adding this sequel to the mix this year.

Though I did not like Halloween II, I did enjoy it more than Rob’s original for 4 distinct reasons:

1.) It actually kind of remakes the original Halloween II, at least for the first 20 minutes or so, and it’s probably the best portion of the movie. Remake sequels never remake the original sequel, and that was cool to see. Then it has to go and reveal that’s it was all just a dream. Oh well. One can dream I guess.

2.) Aside from that, it’s its own beast, with a more original and interesting container than the box the remake bursts from and then forces itself back into.

3.) It pulls off the trick of making the dumb “Laurie is Michael’s sister” plot work…in context. It always felt like a cheesy add-on in the original Halloween II. In Rob’s version it feels organic and the depths of what that might mean are not only examined, but they are at the heart of his story.

4.) It’s more Halloweeny.

Other than that though, I can’t say there’s much here I enjoyed.

Why have they made Loomis, once a great horror hero for the ages, such a scumbaggy jerk? Is it cool to just flip the script on him? Didn’t seem cool.

Why is Michael some roided-out hobo version of Rob Zombie who barely wears his mask? And was he not Voorheesed-up enough in the original that they had to make him skulk through the woods, obsess over his mother and stand in front of an Alice Cooper poster? What’s next? Is he gonna throw on a fucking hockey mask and go to space? Michael was interesting because he wasn’t Jason Voorhees. He was stealthy and tactical, eerie and ethereal. This shit is too much.

Why is Sheri Moon just floating around robed in white with a horse haunting her family? Oh yeah, you get a definition of “white horse” at the very beginning. Oh ok, cool. That totally makes those scenes less dumb.

Why would a girl who’s suffering serious post traumatic stress over the fact that her family and friends were just murdered by a serial killer only 2 years prior have a poster of Charles Manson hanging above her bed? Moreover, why would a film that’s so hung up on this idea make the same mistake? (Big ups to my LB homie Hollie for pointing that one out, cause it’s pretty spot on.)

Why isn’t that werewolf kid just getting the fuck down in his van on Halloween with the horny-ass girl that’s dressed up like Frank-N-Furter? Shitin’ bed there, partner.

So many questions. And many more if I sat and thought about it longer.

At least it wraps the story up nicely and leaves little room for any continuation, so we can imagine the Akkad’s are done with this iteration of Michael Myers at least. But hell, you can never count out a horror sequel.

If you liked Rob’s original, you might enjoy this, however I think it may just be a bit too left of bizarre for casual fans of the remake. It’s a weird sequel, to be sure.

If you didn’t like 2007’s Halloween and have never seen this, it’s a crap shoot. I know people who hate it more and others who appreciate it more, so even then you’re on your own.

Personally, I wouldn’t recommend adding this to your Halloween lineup. Unless of course your  options are Chubbies, Killer Eye 2 or The Fear 2, then I would strongly advise grabbing this one instead. There’s at least some fun gore and some holiday appropriate atmosphere, and ya know,…it feels like an actual movie.

But sadly for me, it gets a big fat non-Don Post mask down.

Designation: Trick!

 

Oct. 9th: Frankenstein and Me (1996)

I was on the hunt for this little VHS oddity for some time, ultimately expecting to get a huge chunk of kiddie-monster cheese starring Burt Reynolds.

I was pleasantly surprised on several accounts.

First and foremost, it featured Halloween, which was completely unknown to me. That’s a serious bonus right there.

Secondly, it’s a period piece (though take that usage loosely) set in the “70’s.” Double bonus.

Thrice over, old Burt is actually pretty good here as the trucker father to a pair of imaginative young dreamers that are also huge horror nerds. Dad even scores them copies of Famous Monsters from the road and let’s them watch all kinds of cool movies. All right pops!

And lastly, the real treat tucked into Frankenstein and Me are all the loving horror sequences peppered throughout. See, Earl tells his younger brother Larry all kinds of little stories throughout the film. Each time, that story is realized visually for us, and each time it’s an awesome little classic horror-homage featuring the boys themselves and their friends, including a ridiculously young Ryan Gosling. They tackle Frankenstein, Night of the Living Dead, The Wolf Man and even Brides of Dracula. It’s awesome.

Halloween is not a big part of Frankenstein and Me, but it is an important part and it features the kids sneaking into a special Halloween screening of Night of the Living Dead at the drive-in.

Eventually, Earl happens upon the “real” Frankenstein’s Monster, which (believe it or not) falls off a truck. Earl takes the him home with designs to bring the creature back to life.

Frankenstein and Me surprised the hell out of me. I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it as much as I did, and certainly not for the reasons I did, and maybe that’s making me like it more than I should. I dunno, but if you’re in need of a family-friendly but also horror-fan friendly Halloween selection this year (and you can find it….took me some hunting and waiting) then Frankenstein and Me will more than fit the bill.

5 horror homages up!

Designation: Treat!

 

Oct. 8th: Scary Movie (1990)

Ever stood in line for a shitty, low-rent haunted house? Well, I hope you enjoyed the hell out of that experience if you’re planning on watching 1990’s Scary Movie, because about half the runtime here is gonna be just that.

One of a number of genre skeletons in the closet of academy award nominee John “I Didn’t Say Help Us” Hawkes, Scary Movie finds him waiting for, and then wandering around endlessly through said haunted house. Sound pretty scary? Yeah, it’s not, but it’s probably still more aptly titled than the Wayans’ Brothers spoof, though less so than Kevin Williamson’s original Scream script.

This is kind of similar to Hauntedween, without most of the charm or watchability. Basically a killer escapes on Halloween night and holes up in a local haunt, where he can don a mask and go undetected.

It’s sort of  fun, as it is somewhat amusing to watch Hawkes fumble around as the biggest Halloweenie moviedom may have ever produced, but there’s little here to justify much of a recommendation for anyone outside of completists. There’s really no horror, or fun characters, or much of a plot, or even that sense of low-budget love that permeates an endeavor like the aforementioned Hauntedween.

This makes for a long haul, even at 80 minutes, which is never a good sign. At the halfway point I’m pretty sure nothing has happened whatsoever, outside of the initial escape and all that waiting in line. By the end, nothing much more has happened either.

However, there’s a good amount of Halloween on display in Scary Movie and that’s really what we’re on about here. You need to be bringing one of at least 2 things to the table for a Treat designation: watchability (however abstrusely defined) or an abundance of some Halloween goodness. Scary Movie offers more of the latter than the former, but there’s some joy to be found here if you’re not too picky about your Halloween flicks.

And, despite being fairly predictable, the ending sort of lands on its feet. It doesn’t make up for how arduous it is to get there, but it’s something like a reward for time served.

It’s still early in the month, so have at it, if you’re bored, need a dose of Halloween atmosphere and aren’t feeling too discerning this October evening.

This one gets a pile of pumpkins and a tootsie roll, cause I love pumpkins and hate tootsie rolls.

Designation: Tric…er…Treat I guess…but not an emphatic one.

 

Oct. 6th: Pet Sematary 2 (1992)

“Sometimes dead is better,”  Fred Gwynne’s Judd reminds us in the original Pet Sematary, and I doubt I’m the first (or even the 500th) person in the last 24 years to suggest this sequel should have just heeded its predecessor’s simple ethos.

But, from the grand and seemingly endless roster of unnecessary, forgettable and otherwise ill-advised horror sequels, Pet Sematary 2 isn’t the worst you could pull. It’s certainly not the best, but it’s definitely not the worst.

Buried underneath the rocks of its cliched continuation1, contrived plot mechanics2, goofball one-liners3 and general soul-lessness4, there rises an autumnal atmosphere that works pretty well for the season. Aided in no small part by a fun (yet all too brief) Halloween sequence at the Pet Sematary, where Edward Furlong hears the murderous tale of the Creed resurrections.

Some gory FX’s from Steve Johnson and a creepy turn from Clancy Brown make this Halloween treat a bit easier to scarf down though, even when Goose is trying to be a tough guy and John Conner is acting like idiot.

Plus, it ends with another Ramones song and that’s a pretty cool move just on its own.

I give it 1 fat Dracula and a Kurgan up,.. but a shitty knock-off Jason down. So I’ll hand it a comparative…

Designation: Treat

1  Hey, I’m a new kid in town. My mom just died and my dad’s a veterinarian…wink wink.

2  Why would you ever bury your asshole stepdad in the old Micmac grounds when your newly resurrected dog murdered him? It’s not like you’ll be in trouble. Look at the fucking corpse! You’re good. Clearly an animal did this…an evil zombie animal you resurrected by…BURYING IN THE OLD MICMAC GROUNDS! I get that the “ground” has a “pull” to it, but c’mon now. Lewis’ motivations are full of grief and guilt and sadness and loss. This is his dead son…ok, snap. This is his dead wife…but maybe he waited to long last time. It’s not a good idea, but its understandable. And why are zombie’s burying people there too? Are they trying to create a master zombie race? What the hell is going on here?

3  “Look’s like daddy got a boo-boo.”

4  See: film

Oct. 5th: Chubbies (2014)

What would you do if your uncle owned a bowling alley and you had a bunch of Boglins just sitting in the attic? Why you’d make a terrible horror-comedy in the vein of Slime-Ball Bowl-O-Rama or Ghoulies, right?

Well, that’s what these bozos attempted to do, and I can’t recommend you not watch Chubbies more this Halloween season.

In fact, if this list accomplishes only one task, my hope is that it will ward off at least 1 potential viewer from having to endure this mess in the effort to grab some Halloween themed fun. Don’t be fooled, that poster is the coolest thing this movie has going for it. Staring at it for 80 minutes would be more enjoyable that watching this movie. This movie doesn’t deserve that poster.

Chubbies is the worst sort of amateur effort; charmless, tedious, repetitive and filled to the brim with unfunny nonsense.

It’s also painfully aware of how awful it is, yet believes wholeheartedly in its own brand of foolish humor. This can land, if the jokes have a runway and there’s a fun approach. Chubbies has neither and ends up crashing into the air traffic control tower. While there were a few spots where I caught myself chuckling slightly, this business is not something I’d deem funny, and I’m fairly generous in that distinction.

I think what makes me angriest though is it that they ruined 3 perfectly good (and presumably collectible) Boglins in the process of making this.

It does get a few recommendation points for it’s bitchin’ Slasher (Acid Witch) Dave score. Another awesome thing Chubbies has and doesn’t deserve. You can enjoy this score completely separate from the film however, which I would recommend doing.

As for festiveness, well it takes place on Halloween, at a bowling alley somewhat decorated for Halloween, with a few people kind of dressed up for Halloween. In fact, one of the only bits that works here involves multiple guest dressing up as Bowie’s Goblin King. There’s some trick or treating as well, so the movie isn’t completely devoid of spirit, but it’s devoid of just about everything else.

Avoid at all cost, or you’ll have a very unhappy Halloween with the irritatingly crude and tiresome bullshit.

3 boglins down!

Designation: Trick!

 

Oct. 4th: Silver Bullet (1985)

Ya know, there’s nothing terribly Halloweeny about Silver Bullet. That’s ok though, because there’s nothing terribly Halloweeny about October 4th either, so it kind of works.

Silver Bullet does however feature the word “Halloween,” a jack-o-lantern, and the mention of trick or treaters. That’s about it. Sure, the entire climax takes place on Halloween (though technically, since Gary Busey says it’s almost 3am, it takes place on November 1st) but that climax isn’t all that steeped in Halloweeniness.

Unless of course you consider a giant fucking Werewolf blasting through the wall and starting some shit “Halloweeny.” Given the context, I kind of do. I might add that this is a horrifying thing to have happen to you on the Eve of All Saints. Rather festive as well, if I do say so myself.

Silver Bullet otherwise is a bit of a mixed bag . The performances are hit and miss, some moments have genuine tension while other feel a little silly. Carlo Rambaldi’s suit runs hot and cold as well. Sometimes the wolf looks great, sometimes not so great.

There are some pretty vicious scenes however, and the whole movie has that creepy sort of atmosphere that feels good on an chilly October night, all fog and small town Stephen Kingish.

Plus you got a drunken Gary Busey going mano y mano with a werewolf, Corey Haim on his rocket wheelchair getting run down by Big Ed Hurley, and Joe Cabot brandishing a Louisville Slugger named “Peace Maker.”

Despite its flaws, I still enjoy Silver Bullet. Maybe it’s the 80’s, maybe it’s the Gary Busey, or maybe I’m just soft on a movie that decapitates a dude in the first 2 minutes. Shit, toss in a lone Jack-O-Lantern why not. The Shindig’s game.

I’ll give it 1 Jack-O-Lantern and a Drunk Gary Busey up!

Designation: Treat!

 

Oct. 3rd: Deadly Friend (1986)

Ah Deadly Friend, one in a series of answers Wes Craven had to the question “Hey, why don’t you make another Nightmare on Elm Street film?” that didn’t really hit it off with critics or with fans. I’m not even sure this one found its legs on video or with the benefit of age, but it’s a movie I kinda dig all the same.

Mostly that has to do with BB, the Johnny-5-esque, artificially intelligent robot constructed by main character and boy-genius Paul. I love this fucking guy. He’s awesome and his voice and nonsensical dialogue are of the hilarious variety, performed as they are by Charles Fleischer, also known to the world as Roger Rabbit.

But on Halloween night, BB is destroyed by a shotgun wielding Mama Fratelli. Paul manages to save BB’s brain though and keep it for a rainy day.

That day soon appears when Sam, Paul’s next door neighbor (and object of his teen desires) is punched straight down some stairs by her dickhead father, resulting in her untimely death. What’s a budding young, love-struck mad-scientist to do?

Why he plays Frankenstein and steals her corpse, of course. He then implants BB’s CPU directly into Sam’s dead brain. How could that possibly go wrong?

While not Craven’s best, this troubled production rises above its studio and test audience tampering to become some sort of bizarre mishmash of gore, sci-fi and teenage romance that’s an (at least) interesting installment in his storied career.

It’s like watching Craven, the studio and the audience all duke it out on screen to make the movie as it’s unfolding, and the results are strange.

Is it what Wes intended? Doubtful. Is it what the studio wanted? Definitely not. Is it what audiences wanted? I dunno, but if the audience is The Shindig, we’re on board with this weirdness.

There’s not much Halloween in Deadly Friend, but that’s why we’re socking it so early in the month. There’s enough to be festive and the rest of the plot is just ridiculous enough to be an enjoyable 80’s sci-fi-horror-love-story-murder-bot romp.

Plus, Kristy Swanson is too much, lobstering-around in her robot state murdering people, not to have a good time.

I give it 1 flagrant foul and muttering robot up!

Designation: Treat!deadly-friend1

Oct. 2nd: The Fear 2: Halloween Night (1999)

Some Halloween movies only feature a small scene or two concerning the actual holiday. Some Halloween movies revolve entirely around it or take place exclusively on the Eve of All Saints. Some even go so far as to use the word “Halloween” in their title.

Few movies, however, have the balls to do this and then deliver about as much Halloween as a St. Patrick’s Day Parade (Silver Shamrock notwithstanding.)

The Fear 2: Halloween Night is one of those proud few.

Yes, The Fear 2 (as I will henceforth refer to it…without it’s bogus Halloween by-line) does technically take place on Halloween. Yes, there are people dressed up in “costumes” for a “Halloween Party.” No, despite this, it will not put you in the Halloween spirit.

Ya see, Mike’s dad was a murderous nutjob who made people reveal their deepest fears before butchering them to pieces. One Halloween, Mike saw his dad murder his own mother, and was subsequently kidnapped by him and stuffed into a trunk with Morty, the wooden Indian fear-totem which came to life in the original film.

20 years later, Mike decides to get all his friends together at the old house with Morty and enact this exact process of fear delving as a way to not become his father an exorcise those particular demons.

Yeah, it’s a bad plan. It’s also a dumb plot for a movie, one that The Fear 2 indulges in with little fanfare.

It’s not even that The Fear 2 is that bad of a movie. For all intents and purposes it’s fine. It’s not what The Fear 2 is, so much as what it isn’t. Namely, it isn’t scary, it isn’t interesting, it isn’t gory, it features no nudity and it’s isn’t even all that cheesy or fun.

They try to make Morty spew some one-liners as a last ditch effort after endless scenes of him doing absolutely nothing, but it just doesn’t have any ronic or ironic joy to it. It’s just dumb.

The Fear 2 is the worst kind of movie, a middling slog that feels too stupid to be good but just good enough to be wholly unentertaining. It’s simply there, happening in front of your eyes without engaging you in the least.

That fact that you can add it’s almost complete lack of Halloween atmosphere to the pile just makes The Fear 2 one big Halloween trick.

I’m giving this offering a cardbox box and a sheet with question marks down!

Designation: Trick!

 

Revenge of the Halloween Sequel!

Horror is certainly a genre known for rampant sequelization. Even the franchises that never got to stretch their legs into the 4’s, 5’s and beyond, typically got at least one ill-advised sequel.

This year I started noticing a little trend. For some reason, that second installment had a bizarre tendency to cram Halloween into the mix.

Why? Is it more horror-y? Is it just more fun? Is it a lazy solution to the problem of developing a new story? Whatever the reason, The Shindig certainly isn’t complaining.

This 2016 iteration of the countdown features 8 second installments, only 3 of which are sequels to already established Halloween films. If you count C.H.U.D. 2 (featured on the original 2013 lineup) that’s 6 horrors sequels that just up and decided to shove Halloween onto the menu. That’s pretty awesome.

There’s probably even more too, who knows? But 8 is good enough for us, and definitely enough to declare this list The Revenge of the Halloween Sequel!

 

Oct. 1st: Kenny and Company (1976)

We’re gonna kick off the season and our countdown with this fun, non-horror Halloween debut from Mr. Phantasm himself.

Before Don Coscarelli, Michael Baldwin and Reggie Bannister stared down death in the form of an inter-dimensional undertaker with flying spheres, they tackled death in a much different way with a family movie framed (no doubt quite intentionally) by Halloween.

Kenny and Company is a good-natured, casual and often amusing tale where very authentic and (actually) young kids in the 70’s do a bunch a shit you’d never see kids doing in a family movie nowadays. They build stuff, daydream, play outside, trick or treat alone, get shot at, look at nudie mags and face bullies without intervention from a committee of concerned buttinskis.

It’s also a mediation on coming-of-age while learning about death that feels loosely parallel to Phantasm.

But most importantly to us, it’s all surrounded by Halloween, culminating in a lot fun hi-jinx and ambiance as the kids go trick or treating.

Starting off with a great animated pumpkin, the film makes no bones about its Halloween intentions, but it is not a film based on Halloween itself, but rather uses it to mirror death (and Kenny’s awakening to it); the age-old ending of the seasons.

There’s nothing scary or horrific about Kenny and Company, but it’s an entertaining glimpse into an America that no longer exists. It also provides plenty of festive imagery for an autumn evening, and heralds in the the month of October nicely.

For Phantasm fans it’s should prove especially interesting to see Michael (who’s quite good here as Doug) and Reggie being directed by Don outside of their usual Tall Man adventure.

This one gets 2 Jack-O-Lanterns, a Paper mache bear head and a Bill Malone mask up. Dig in!

Designation: Treat!

Return of the 31 Days of Halloween Horror 2: Revenge of the Halloween Sequels: Trick or Treat?

Back in October of 2013, The Shindig featured a countdown of 31 Halloween-specific movies for readers to sink their teeth into.We decided it was high time to shove our hands into that candy dish once again and pull out another 31 Halloween flicks to frighten up your festivities.

31 more?

Sure. Hell, you could probably make three separate lists of 31 and still have leftovers. But the pickins are sure to get slimmer with each successive grab.

So we’re going have to dig a bit deeper this year, as most of the heavy hitters got pulled last time. And while there’s bound to be a few small tootsie rolls and some off-brand bullshit nobody wants, I’ll bet there’s still a couple of king-sized Snickers down there at the bottom.

Truth be told, there was a bunch of shitty Halloween candy down there this year and we could not pull out 31 more films we could wholly recommend. As such, we’ve decided to break up the offerings into “Tricks” and “Treats.” Some of these will undoubtedly have open wrappers and look particularly suspicious, so consume at your own risk.

Now, come on Weeners! Let’s go souling this season and see what we mummers can scare up for Samhain.

 

Oct. 31st: Halloween (1978)

Though over listed and a decidedly cliched choice, for the purpose of this list, of course John Carpenter’s classic has to take the pole position.

Though I give much love and respect to it’s Yuletide predecessor and inspiration Black Christmas, I still feel Halloween does it better. It is hands down my favorite slasher film and one of my favorite horror films period.

Effectively and methodically paced, Michael’s rookie outing is awash in strange glows and Halloween energy. And the music, not simply the theme (which is great) but all the incidental scoring throughout is eerie and seminal horror business.

The Shape had many sequels and imitators, but nothing holds a jack-o-lantern’s candle to this true American original. And it’s all on Halloween.

Many years have I watched this film on Halloween night and it’s never been a bad decision. Simply watching this film any night is never a bad decision, but from a young age, into my teenage and adult years, Halloween still makes Halloween feel like Halloween.

So, Happy Halloween tumblr.

Oct. 30th: The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror (1990 – Present)

No TV show has celebrated Halloween so consistently, so effectively or so happily as The Simpsons. With their annual Treehouse of Horror episode, featuring 3 vignettes typically parodying genre films, the Simpsons (for me, growing up) equaled Halloween.

The show was a huge part of my youth, and the Halloween specials something I desperately looked forward to seeing. Which movies would they spoof this year? When will it air? What new horrors and laughs lie in wait? These episodes allowed me to both revel in my love of Halloween and further reinforced that love in equal measure.

At one point in time, some of the only samples on the playlist were from The Simpsons Halloween Specials. Over the years, I’ve slowly replaced a good many of them, but some have been left in tact, leading in the same songs as they always did.

I’ve hosted parties where I had whatever episodes existed at the time just running in loops. Other years I’ve spent my Halloween night watching as many as I had.

Some of them (namely 4, 5 and 6) are among my favorite episodes of the entire series. And though, like the show itself, they have long passed their peaked, and grown weaker it seems with each passing year, I still enjoy watching the new ones all the same. I must concede however, that they don’t quite inspire the same giddy Halloween excitement in me as they did in my youth.

While the watching of any 4 Treehouse of Horrors would essentially constitute the length of a movie, I would suggest marathoning the first 12 for a good 4 hour dose of Halloween awesomeness.

Homer reciting Poe, Burns playing Frankenstein and Dracula, The evil Krusty doll, Mulitiple Twilight Zone spoofs, Kang and Kodos, Willie as Freddy, Homer as The Omega Man, Bart as The Fly! So many great Halloween horror moments await you.

Nostalgia rant ceasing. Happy 30th everybody.

Oct. 29th: Night of the Demons (1988)

One of my absolute favorites, this one has slipped in and out of my Halloween night top spot over the years, and for a multi-feature Hallows Eve marathon, it’s a sure-fire selection.

This awesome late 80’s gore-fest has everything you want for a Halloween Movie:

  • An awesome title sequence with a great theme
  • A plot that takes place entirely on Halloween
  • A Halloween party as its main event
  • A haunted and abandoned house as its main setting
  • Demon possession
  • Drinking and bad decisions
  • A sexy and possessed goth chick dancing to Bauhaus
  • A naked Linnea Quigley shoving lipstick in her nipple
  • Fun gore and Special FX
  • A great soundtrack
  • Obnoxious and memorable horror victims
  • Choice one-liners
  • A crotchety old prick who hates Halloween
  • And enough Halloween ambiance to satiate all of the 31st’s requirements.

Weirdo goth girl Angela is throwing a Halloween party at the infamous and abandoned Hull House. Sounds like a deal, so even the squares decide it might be a lark.

Unfortunately for them, Angela’s party agenda happens to include a seance. Probably not the best idea in Hull House on Halloween, the night where all the creepy things are suppose to stalk the earth.

Though seemingly a dud, the seance works, and soon a torrent of Halloween hell rains down on everyone involved.

Classic 80’s horror on display here. If you’ve never seen Night of the Demons, this is the year. Wait for the 31st, imbibe the poison of your choice, sit back and let the Halloweeniness possess you.

Triple feature all 3 Night of the Demons for an extra Halloweeny evening.

Oct. 28th: Trick ‘R Treat (2008)

When it comes to straight up Halloween atmosphere, no movie quite kicks you in the pumpkins with it like 2008’s Trick ‘R Treat. It just may win the prize for most Halloweeny movie ever. Dunno if that title is ultimately subjective or actually quantifiable. Either way, this ones definitely being considered.

Playing like the Pulp Fiction of horror, Trick ‘R Treat weaves 4 Halloween yarns together, all on our night of All Hallo’s.

I’ll be honest, I can do without the Werewolf girls, I find the story drags a bit, with a pretty telegraphed reveal, but the other 3 stories are top-notch Halloween tales.

While not without its faults, it’s great fun, with more pumpkins and trick or treating than any other movie to date. Try not getting amped about Halloween watching this movie, I dare you.

I had heard about it’s troubled release and was sad it to find out it wasn’t going to get its day in the theaters. I was pretty stoked when it was finally released on DVD and was able to bathe in its orange glow, thinking “finally another awesomely Halloweeny Halloween movie.”

Oct. 27th: Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Despite being the Michael-less entry, this bizarre and underrated installment trumps them all in the Halloween department.

It’s a definite must somewhere in the Halloween week. If you’ve never caught this entry, or have passed on it based on poor reviews or its non-canonical status, give it a shot this year, especially around Halloween.

It is by no means a flawless film, and its pretty rough around the edges, but it has a lot going for it, particularly if you’re in the need of a hefty dose of Hallo’s Eve atmosphere.

Initially, Carpenter wanted the franchise to be this; a different Halloween-themed film for each yearly “Halloween” installment. It’s a great concept, and had this film come 2nd, been a little better and done better critically and at the box office, it probably could have worked. Oh well, I suppose.

Essentially, mad Celtic Druids create face melting masks and peddle them to the public in an attempt to carry out the greatest single mass-sacrifice of children in history. Alright, sounds like a plan, Old Man from Robocop

If that’s not enough to sell you, how bout tons of Halloween ambiance, a fantastic synth-laden score from Carpenter and Howarth, Tom Atkins, masks, trick or treating in spades, some sex, dudes dumping latex into hydro-cal molds and that classic commercial jingle. Holy Samhain!

3 more days till Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. 3 more days till Halloween, Silver Shamrock!

Oct. 25th: Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)

Long-time followers are sure to know of my love of Jim Varney, Ernest P. Worrell and this movie.

One of my favorite Halloween movies of all-time, Ernest Scared Stupid has definitely made its way into a Halloween night triple feature on more than one occasion. Sometimes though it just gets an October viewing. Either way, it’s a prime selection and an October must.

Unfortunately, Ernest mania (was that ever even a thing?) was waning by ‘91, and the movie didn’t fair too well at the box office, or with critics. It was the last Ernest outing to be released by Touchstone Pictures and Ernest was not long for the theatrical world, finding his subsequent, independently produced and inferior efforts heading for the video market.

Which is a shame, because this is honestly my favorite, and while I’m not sure it’s “better” the Ernest Goes to Camp, I think it’s the most enjoyable, and superior to both Saves Christmas and Goes To Jail, but that’s just me. I’m a die-hard Halloweener.

This is family Halloween fair at its best with Ernest ineptly battling a gaggle of awesome Chidio-made trolls. It’s fun, funny and above all chock full of Halloweeniness. So how ‘bout a bumper sandwich, booger lips!?

Oct. 24th: Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow (1959) & The Basement (1989)

 

Friday night double feature!

This one features 2 films that couldn’t possibly be any more different from each other.

Our first selection has been on my “to watch” list for sometime. Late 50’s hot-rodder meet a ghost? The Shindig is in. That list is long however, and its viewing had never come to fruition, until tonight.

Though I do wish I had dropped it a bit earlier in the month, this movie’s got enough Halloweeniness (though never explicitly stated) for any October night, in any year. And it’s vintage Halloween to boot, and nothings better than some old fashioned Halloween.

The first half plays like your average 50’s dragster flick, with enough hep dialogue to beat a nick with a stick. However, the second half shift into something between House on Haunted Hill and an episode of Scooby Doo, with one of the weirdest endings I’ve seen in quite sometime.

It’s a great spook-party with lots of dancing and costumes, and it all adds up to a fun throw-back night.

However, if its 65 minute run-time leaves you a little wanting, I say back end it with another semi-Halloween shorty, The Basement.

This super-8 shot, backyard bloodbath was never officially released ever, on any format. It wasn’t until recently that it became available at all. About a minute and a half in and you’ll understand why.

Your standard anthology horror effort, The Basement finds 4 idiots stuck in a basement (of all places) with The Sentinel, a foolish and spooky figure who’ll give these morons a peek at their future sins. Alright, I’m game.

It all plays out like a 16th-assed Tales from the Crypt ’72 or (more appropriately) Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors and it has some of the worst/greatest overdubbing I’ve ever heard. This film (though I shutter to use such a term) will no doubt have you in tears, one way or the other.

For our intents, it is the second vignette, entitled “Trick or Treat” that concerns us. This short story finds a crotchety crumb-bum and Halloween hating English teacher caught in a Dickensian nightmare, al a A Christmas Carol for The Eve of all Saints. He’s a real prick, and its great fun watching him whine his way through the ghostly visits.

Maybe not the most Halloweeny, and certainly not the best movies this list has to offer, but what can you expect for an 11th hour selection? I still say they’re both worth a viewing. So,…enjoy?

Oct. 23rd: Hack-O-Lantern (1988)

From the hallowed year of our Lord 1988, comes the awesome, ridiculous, and thoroughly Halloweeny, Hack-O-Lantern.

Young Tommy has a pretty intense grandfather. The guy loves Halloween and pumpkins. He’s also a practicing Satanist with his eye of Horus firmly fixed on Tommy’s future. He also tried to rape his own daughter on her wedding day, but that’s another matter all together.

Tommy’s dad’s a tough cop though and knows all about Grampa’s dark artistry. So naturally, he doesn’t take too kindly to Grampa’s Halloween visit. When he approaches gramps at a barnyard black mass, he is quickly taken out by a hammer wielding occultist. So much for that.

Fast forward the present and Tommy’s a badass metal misfit whom grampa has taken graciously under his wing, as he grooms Tommy be the son Satan never had.

All is going well it seems. People are dying randomly, and Tommy is preparing for his big Halloween initiation. He’s got satanic heavy metal cassettes, cool horror movie posters, a slutty girlfriend and his own alter of evil in his closet. To hell with what his mother says, he’s the son of the devil, goddamit, and tonight’s his big night.

While Tommy is busy amping himself up, his studious sister, Sheriff’s deputy brother and the rest of the town preparing for a boring, vanilla, murderless and incest-free Halloween party. When these two Halloween worlds collide, however, the Hack-O-Lanterning begins.

This film has everything you need for a satisfactory Halloween night.

  • Ridiculous acting
  • Low-rent barnyard Satanists
  • Trucks filled with pumpkins
  • Pumpkin carving, lighting and smashing
  • Old diecut decorations
  • Masked murder
  • Tits
  • A Halloween party
  • Graveyard shenanigans
  • One jarringly wedged and incomprehensible stand up routine
  • Attempted (an incestuous) rape
  • A sweet ass heavy metal dream sequence
  • And of course, Halloween as its main focus.

If you’ve never seen this rare VHS gem, YouTube or Veehd can supply you with the stream-able awesomeness at the push of a button. Ah, what a wonderful world the internet is sometimes.

Hack-O-lantern comes highly recommended from the Shindig as part of a complete Halloween breakfast.

Oct. 22nd: Hauntedween (1991)

Here’s another low-rent Halloween fiasco, this time entitled HauntedWeen.

Reguaws Kentucky has it’s own Family haunt – The Burber House. Unfortunately, young Eddie Burber’s too young work there yet. So, he sneaks in with his shitty mask and tries his hand at scaring a little girl.

Which he does, effectively. So effectively in fact that she runs into a carelessly placed spike, skewering herself. So, Eddie just whips out a machete and finishes the job.

Ma Burber doesn’t chastised Eddie, she simply decides they need to leave. So they abandon the haunt to take off to a cabin in the woods.

There they live happily, until another Halloween where Ma Burber dies, leaving Eddie free to pursue his murderous inclinations.

Fast forward and Hauntedween is now following the Sigma Pi fraternity, perhaps the lamest frat this side of the Tri-Lambs. Seems these jokers haven’t paid their national fraternity dues lately and are facing shut-down. No worries, just throw a haunted house Halloween party, charge admission and problem solved.

But where? Well, when a mysterious stranger offers you the keys to the haunted Burber House, I don’t think there’s any cause to second guess that at all. Party on, after a quick Mistress of the Dark style remodeling montage set to an awesome Title Track. Bonus.

So, the house opens again, but of course, Eddie’s there too, with his old shitty mask, sneaking around the haunt creating real murders for all the unwitting spectators.

It’s actually a pretty neat idea, and it’s pulled off with a lot of low-budget, hometown labor-of-love charm. The haunted house finale is so spot on with local haunted attractions, it’s hard not to grin widely, particularly when Eddie makes the leap from dreams to reality.

It was even shot on 16mm, which is a commendable in an era where this could have easily been shot-on-video. It’s a lot of fun to watch, and it’s works.

Though a rare and sought after VHS gem, it is also available now on DVD from the filmmakers themselves @hauntedween.com.