Halloween Night (Fortress)

TRACK #327:

Halloween Night by Fortress

It’s time to feel the steel with our second Samhain shot, a song that also happens to be from 1986.

This ones hails from traditionally neutral Switzerland, and takes aim at our Hallowed Eve via brute force and a stern warning. It’s Fortress and their track Halloween Night.

Unfortunately, not much seems to be known about this band, and the tune comes from their lone release, the 4-track EP Take the Night.

So little is this band discussed that only 1 image of the album even appears to appear online. It’s pretty low rez and it’s the album cover you see above, which I snatched from discogs.

Where did Fortess come from? Where have Fortress gone? Why are there so many other fuckin bands named Fortress? Seriously.

Encyclopedia Metallum lists 20 bands in total with the name Fortress. Are you kidding me? It took me 5 minutes just to determine which Fortress was this Fortress, only to discover they didn’t have any damn information about them anyway. Beautiful.

Well, since we don’t know anything about Fortress, we’re just gonna talk about this now I guess, because…fuckin’ Fortress? Really? That’s the band name that’s getting into double digits? It’s not even a good band name! I mean, it’s alright, but it don’t sound nearly as tough as all these dudes seem to thinks it sounds.

It’s 1 word with 2 syllables, and that’s always a solid move for a band name. Straight to the point and harsh. Slayer, Vemon, Krokus, it just works. So I’ll give them that. But while it does have the upfront punch of “Fort,” that double S at on the back end really weakens up the whole affair.

So why are so many groups clamoring for this name? Cause it’s strong and keeps out invaders? Cause it can’t be penetrated? What’s the allure? Cause it can’t be the phonetics of this thing.

I’m not sure, but for 20 bands, spanning 3 decades, Fortress connected. And from all across the globe too! Hungary, Bavaria, Poland, Australia, even the Netherlands, all have Fortresses. Hell, the US accounts for almost half of them with 8 different Fortresses!

You wanna tell me one or two, sure. Bands unwittingly named each other the same shit all the time, particularly in the days before the internet.

But the The Metal Archives at Encylopedia Metallum have been around since 2002, people. Almost half the bands using this name came into existence after 2006. What?

Any band naming themselves post-2002 has no fuckin’ excuse. You come up with a some generic-ass nonsense like Fortress, you cross reference that shit with The Metal Archives, see if anyone else has already used it. Chances are they have, because you’re not that creative and Metal’s been around for over 40 fuckin’ years.

Maybe one other band used it 25 years ago and no one’s ever heard them. Fine, keep Fortress. Wait, there’s 17 other bands named fucking Fortress? Put that one back on the shelf, fellas. The world doesn’t need another Fortress. It’s not that great of a band name to begin with.

The first instances of Fortress seem to appear in 1980, with one glamy lookin outfit from LA (unsurprisingly) and another in Kansas. Germany pumped one out shortly after in 1981, and then our boys from Switzerland appear in tandem with another LA band in 1983.

Now, those 2 LA acts need to check the flyers outside the Rainbow Room or some shit and get their acts together. You’re probably using the same goddamn rehearsal space on Cahuenga, for christ sakes. The rest of ya’ll early 80’s guys, I’ll cut some slack. You late 80’s Johnny-Come-Latelys have a little more latitude but not a lot, and any of you clowns from the 90’s shoulda better known better. After that, you got high speed cable internet and a fuckin’ google search bar. Use that shit. Acting like you got a real unique one on your hands and not looking that shit up is just arrogant.

However, since our boys here were pretty early adopters and all the way over in the Swiss Alps just shredding up avalanches like they were in goddamn Blood Tracks, we’re gonna let them off the easiest. They’re the the only ones with a Halloween song anyway, so they’re clearly the only one’s deserving.

But seriously, no more fuckin Fortresses, alright everybody?

Night of the Hallowe’en

TRACK #326:

Night of the Hallowe’en by Touched

We’re gonna leave the 80’s behind and set a course for an old timey Halloween. But before we do, we’re gonna take a right turn outta the discotheque, head down Mundhra Road toward High Pike Farm and make a quick stop at The Quarry. Cause we’re lookin for a little rock over here and they got all the rock we need. So, here comes a triple-barreled blast of 80’s Halloween Metal to power our trip even further back in time.

This first shot is coming at you from all the way across the pound, with the UK metal molesters, Touched, and their 1986 album Death Row.

The glam-rock stylings of Twisted Sister team up with the NWOBHM sound of early Maiden to produce the sufficiently heavy but not necessarily intimidating, Night of the Hallowe’en.

There doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of info floating around about Touched, but I will say, it’s an odd band name. Not necessarily tough, now is it? Certainly not in a metal context.

I suppose they could mean like “touched,”like you might say of someone who is particularly imbecilic or perhaps even crazy. That’s sort of tough-er I suppose, but not terribly. Just kind of offensive, really. Unless they’re directing that toward themselves, I guess.

Or, they could mean this in like a “you got touched” way. But not in the good way that you’d want to be touched, but in the bad way that no one wants to be touched. But thats weird right? To name your band that? Fuckin-A right it is.

Which I guess just leaves “touched” in the good way. And that could either be physically or emotionally. Like perhaps one feels after they watch We Bough a Zoo, or Mac and Me.

But that’s decidedly not tough. In fact, it might just be the opposite of tough.

The physical (and let’s just assume sexual) connotation of “touched” is the only thing that’s really left, and even that don’t make sense as a band name. But, hey, Touched it is I guess.

And that’s before we even get into this song’s title. Cause it’s not Night of Hallowe’en, It’s Night of THE Hallowe’en.

That’s weird. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone put a “the” in front of Halloween. Personally, I kinda like it. It’s makes Halloween itself sound like a monster that’s gonna get ya, or an evil entity unto itself that you better watch the fuck out for.

But I had to double check the album sleeve on that one, cause dude doesn’t even say that shit in the song! And I think that would be cool. But nope, just the title. Odd move.

So, it looks like we gotta whole lotta question here with Touched and not a whole lotta answers. We’re just gonna have to leave it at that I suppose. At least for now.

But that’s ok, cause we’ve just arrive at The Quarry, so let’s wake the neighbors, and get Touched by The Hallowe’en!

Note: I realize the audio on this one’s a bit greasy. There’s 2 versions on YouTube right now (already not a great place to get the song) one that’s real low quality and another that skips a couple times. I caught and corrected one but missed the other completely. However, I have this LP en route to The Halloween Hole as we speak, so I’ll update the track here, and even give YouTubers a better option after the season wraps. So if you dig this tune, stay tuned!

It’s Halloween Night (The Witches’ Jack-O-Lantern)

TRACK #241:

It’s Halloween Night (The Witches’ Jack-O-Lantern) by Acid Witch

Welcome back Weeners! Thanks for joining us. Here’s to a new season on Halloween Shindig. We hope you all enjoy all the new tunes we have lined up for you this year.

Last year, recording and editing Shindig Radio kept me on my heels once the season for songs rolled around. So this year, I decided to get a little head start.

But then, California decided making fake rubber bullshit for crummy new movies that you’ll never see popping up on this website, wasn’t an “essential” service during a global pandemic. Go fig.

Needless to say, I had a bit of extra time on my hands. So this year, we’re starting things just a little bit early (and on the first day of Fall even!) as we’ve got 40 new Title Tracks, Monster Raps, and Halloween Scats to fill your Autumnal airwaves.

Leading us off this year, as promised, is a group of Shindig All-Stars that dropped a brand new Halloween Song just as I was finishing up last year’s countdown. C’mon, it was a wrap! But along came Acid Witch making me wish I had lagged just a little bit longer.

No matter! They’re here now to start the season off right, with another sludgy ode to the Eve of All Saints. This time around, they’re detailing the necessary steps for a Witch to turn a dude’s head into a Jack-O-Lantern…on Halloween Night, no less.

All right, fella. Sold.

This song is tough as shit and an instant inclusion. We hope you like it too, cause there’s more Acid Witch on the way, as we’ve yet to tap into their 2017 release Evil Sound Screamers, which is practically a Halloween Album unto itself. But until then…

Black Cats and Witches

Bonfires burn bright

Ghosts and Ghouls they gather

It’s Halloween Night!

Oct. 23rd: Hack-O-Lantern (1988)

From the hallowed year of our Lord 1988, comes the awesome, ridiculous, and thoroughly Halloweeny, Hack-O-Lantern.

Young Tommy has a pretty intense grandfather. The guy loves Halloween and pumpkins. He’s also a practicing Satanist with his eye of Horus firmly fixed on Tommy’s future. He also tried to rape his own daughter on her wedding day, but that’s another matter all together.

Tommy’s dad’s a tough cop though and knows all about Grampa’s dark artistry. So naturally, he doesn’t take too kindly to Grampa’s Halloween visit. When he approaches gramps at a barnyard black mass, he is quickly taken out by a hammer wielding occultist. So much for that.

Fast forward the present and Tommy’s a badass metal misfit whom grampa has taken graciously under his wing, as he grooms Tommy be the son Satan never had.

All is going well it seems. People are dying randomly, and Tommy is preparing for his big Halloween initiation. He’s got satanic heavy metal cassettes, cool horror movie posters, a slutty girlfriend and his own alter of evil in his closet. To hell with what his mother says, he’s the son of the devil, goddamit, and tonight’s his big night.

While Tommy is busy amping himself up, his studious sister, Sheriff’s deputy brother and the rest of the town preparing for a boring, vanilla, murderless and incest-free Halloween party. When these two Halloween worlds collide, however, the Hack-O-Lanterning begins.

This film has everything you need for a satisfactory Halloween night.

Ridiculous acting
Low-rent barnyard Satanists
Trucks filled with pumpkins
Pumpkin carving, lighting and smashing
Old diecut decorations
Masked murder
Tits
A Halloween party
Graveyard shenanigans
One jarringly wedged and incomprehensible stand up routine
Attempted (an incestuous) rape
A sweet ass heavy metal dream sequence
And of course, Halloween as its main focus.

If you’ve never seen this rare VHS gem, YouTube or Veehd can supply you with the stream-able awesomeness at the push of a button. Ah, what a wonderful world the internet is sometimes.

Hack-O-lantern comes highly recommended from the Shindig as part of a complete Halloween breakfast.