We’re gonna slow things down a bit here, just before our run to Halloween, when things are bound to get all types of hairy.
In my research for an upcoming (and long overdue) addition to The Shindig, I came across not 1, but 2 different songs of the same title. Now you know what we say around here whenever that happens…
Pick ’em up!
From the 1976 album Winningfrom Russ Ballard comes Born On Hallowe’en.
Now, in case you were incredulous (I know I sure was) Russ Ballard was in fact born on Halloween in 1945, somewhere in Britain, if I recall correctly. Pretty spooky.
Unfortunately, this is the least spooky of the 3 songs featuring that title. Fine by us, as a song needn’t be spooky to find itself on The Shindig. It certainly helps, but it’s not a prerequisite.
While I’m quite sure none of us are terribly familiar with Russ, we’re probably familiar with his generous professional output, as many of his songs have been recorded and turned into big hits.
Originally the lead singer for the rock outfit Argent, who’s hits Hold Your Head Up and God Gave Rock N Roll To You are surely recognizable to anyone with even passing interest in classic rock or has seen Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey.
He’s also responsible for America’s comeback hit You Can Do Magic, Rainbow’sSince You Been Gone, Santana’sWinning, Peter Criss’Let Me Rock You and the Ace Frehley solo track New York Groove.
Coming in at #198 to pump the breaks a little, here’s a mellow rocker from Halloween Hero Russ Ballard, who was definitely Born On Hallowe’en.
I love finding dusty, old songs called Halloween by forgotten metal bands.
It’s always the same exhilarating rush and it’s happened a number of times over the years. Bands like Halloween, Ostrogoth and Hallows Eve have all presented themselves to me in this way. Rest assured there are others whom have yet to have their day on The Shindig.
But, just when I think there couldn’t possibly be any more, I’ll discover a completely new one, as though through my own sheer will I’ve conjured it into existence.
Such solipsistic tripe is absolute nonsense, but I can’t help but feel that wave wash over me all the same, and it’s a bizarre feeling for a paranoid sort such as myself. Did all of these songs really already exist? Am I just now finding them because the playlist needs them? Is it synchronicity or something else? Frankly, I don’t think it really matters, so long as we can hear the tunes.
This was the case when I unearthed 3 new ones a few years back. Of course, due to the nature of the playlist, it’s accompanying blog and my stupid, now mathematically erroneous “every 20th, no wait, now every 10th song” clause, these treasures must be issued out slowly over time. Glad I didn’t decide on every 31st song, as would have been more appropriate.
But today, we’ve come to the moment for Iron Cross to step into the jack-o-lantern’s spotlight.
Formed in Pensacola Florida in 1979, Iron Cross played across their home state and Georgia amassing a sizable fan base before releasing a self titled album in 1986. The ensuing years saw more extensive touring, self promotion, and other EPs including “Die Like That” and “Halloween.” Unfortunately, these seeds of hard work did not blossom into wider recognition for Iron Cross.
As with every metal band tearing shit up in the 80’s, the grunge and alt rock scene of the early 90’s took the wind right out of their black sails. Iron Cross disbanded, like their fellow Halloween brethren, only to be born anew once Nu Metal and Corporate Pop totally ruined everything in the late 90’s and early 2000s. Suddenly, as if emerging from a curious slumber, everyone realized that shit was garbage and longed for the days of thrashing flying V leads and falsetto vocals. Iron Cross could rise again!
They reformed, released new compilations of unreleased material, got the self titled album pressed to CD and hit the road once more.
Though this song has appeared in some form on just about every release they’ve had since their 1986 debut, The Shindig has chosen to use the cover from their 2000 compilation simply titled “Iron Cross” because it has a skeleton shooting lasers out of it’s eyes at an actual iron cross, and that fucking rules.
Look at that drawing. Can you think of anything you’d rather have on your album than that? I know I certainly can’t.
Coming in hard at #190, it’s Iron Cross with….of course…Halloween.
PS: For some sample accompaniment, we decided to finally tap into Halloween 5aka Halloween: A Burned and Now Insane Loomis Repeatedly Screams at a Poor, Frightened 9 Year Old Girl and Uses Her As Bait to Ensnare a Homicidal Al Pacino-Masked Murderer With Whom She Suddenly Shares a Psychic Link.
Boycott ret-conned bullshit! Say “no” to unnumbered sequels and reboots! Stand tall against the repeated and failed attempts to rewrite Michael’s history! This is the true legacy…horrible masks and goofy family sub-plots and all!
Several years ago when Halloween made their Shindig debut on Halloween with their song Halloween, we immediately bestowed upon them All-Star status. This was very premature, because at that point, it was their only contribution.
I knew then that they would have multiple appearances. I have an auxiliary playlist called The Shindig Bullpen for all the planned additions that have yet to make their way onto the blog. They’re all there, but the move was still premature.
Tonight’s track, however, finally makes Halloween The Shindig All-Stars they were born to be.
Since they already had a song called Halloween, I’m sure they were pretty disappointed. Now, they probably could have gone the Danzig route and just made a song called Halloween II, but Halloween opted to tag the word “Night” on there, and call it a day. It’s a solid move.
And since we were just dealing with Dr. Crowley and his Anti-Halloween Machine, we thought we’d check in with Angela Harris, who’s own Anti-Halloween machine, a religious group called HARVEST, is responsible for all the mayhem in 2014’s nostalgia stuffed The WNUF Halloween Special.
Her alarmist petitions seem particularly in contrast to Halloween’s somewhat reassuring song, where they tell you everything’s all right, Halloween’s just a fun night out at the Heavy Metal Horror Show. Nothing to worry about here.
Mrs. Harris, well, she doesn’t exactly concur.
Here’s Halloween, once again singing about Halloween and taking their rightful place on the Shindig All-Star team, with Halloween Night.
Ok, that Rosemary’s Baby stuff was a little heavy, so to lighten things up a bit, we’re gonna go in the complete opposite direction…or are we?
The Real Ghostbusters fought a fair share of spooks over their 7 season run. So, it should come as no surprise that they had a few different Halloween encounters.
Here, this Franken-headed fuck-face named Dr. Crowley wants to end Halloween forever. He even has his own cheeseball coalition of concerned buttinskis called Citizens United Against Halloween. What a dork. He then tries to enlist The Ghostbusters to provide the assist, but the GB’s ain’t down with that shit.
In fact, they’re so not down with that shit, they show up for a school assembly and bust out this rockin’ Halloween track just to show you what’s up.
Now, I know I’m a bit paranoid, and doing this blog over the years has certainly put me in a weird spot mentally over the nature of Halloween, it’s origins and all the media surrounding it. But, I gotta be honest here, I get a weird vibe from this. Like a Halloween 3 vibe. And that’s weird.
Maybe it’s all the Stonehenge and Celtic imagery, or maybe it’s the extolling of “old magic,” but it seems pretty bizarre. Because, I mean, why the fuck are some cartoon ghost police talking to kids about old magic anyway?
It’s weird, right? What are they saying, and why? And to kids? And is that weird? I dunno, but it sure makes me feel a little weird.
Doesn’t stop me from rocking out though, ’cause this is a Halloween jammer, for sure. You got the whole gang singing, with assembly attendees dancing in costume and Egon here rocking out on a modified Poly-800 while Slimer and his buddies turn into these weird Irish-green Jack-Lantern sperms. It’s all very festive…and probably totally weird.
We wrap it up in the same fashion the show does, with that Halloween prick Dr. Crowley firing up his Electronic, Positronic, Anti-Halloween Machine and…ending Halloween forever, Or opening up The Halloween Door?
Here’s another spooky number about spooks from famous Jazz trio Lambert, Hendricks & Ross, only this time, it’s a Halloween song to boot. Double bonus.
This one’s a kinda weird honestly, and the jazz structure can be a bit of a turn-off if that’s not your bag. Additionally, it will all break down about halfway through into a formless sort of scat, where ghostly sounds and spooky noises take the place of actual lyrics.
I like this part. It’s funny to me. I laugh every time I hear these grown adults goofing around and making silly noises.
You may not have the same reaction, and I would understand, but there’s no disputing, it’s a Shindigger for sure.
The word “Samhain,” as many of you may know, is pronounced Sah-win, or Sow-Ween. A Celtic word, it was the name of a festival marking the beginning of winter, or perhaps more astutely, the end of the year.
It is said that during this time the veil between the living and the dead is at it most thin, making communion with the spirits, whether wanted or unwanted, all the more successful.
Huge bonfires would be lit to ward off evil. Disguises would be worn to trick them, and lights would burn in gourds to ferry the spirits of loved ones long gone home.
Many of the customs associated with modern day Halloween originate from this festival. Mumming or guising and going door to door in search of offerings being chief among them.
As for Samhain the band, they were formed in 1983 by Glenn Danzig as a side project to The Misfits. Once The Misfits disbanded though, Danzig focused all his attention toward Samhain. They would eventually evolve into the band known simply as Danzig, adopting both their logo and font, while taking their sound into more metal-like territory.
Heavier and darker than the comparatively cartoonish tone of The Misfits, Samhain is perhaps the least celebrated of Glenn’s outfits. But Danzig being Danzig, they offer up a song perfectly suited to our Shindig; the band anthem Samhain.
At the time of this writing, it is less than a week away from Halloween and it is currently 102 degrees in Los Angeles. There are 3 fires currently burning across various parts of the LA county.
That shit is awesome. That’s one of the coolest album covers I’ve seen in a long time. I know they say you shouldn’t judge stuff by it’s cover and what have you, but c’mon! Look at that fucking thing. There’s no way the band hiding behind that cover doesn’t rule.
And they do.
Sludgy, doomy and packed front to back with Halloween imagery, Acid Witch delivers the goods. Hailing from Detroit, it seems they’ve taken up the mantle from Motorcity’s own Halloween and dubbed their music “Halloween Metal.” Goddamn right.As such, they’ve got plenty of Halloween fodder for the Shindig, and like their local brethren, are first ballot Shindig All-Stars.
They even cut an EP last year called “Midnight Movie” featuring covers of songs already included on the playlist, with samples and everything. It’s like they covered the Shindig! It’s insane. I love these dudes.
First up from Acid Witch: Trick or Treat. Chuggier than shit and more unsettling than that, it’s written from the perspective of a true predator on Halloween, lurking in the guise of a mild mannered neighbor.
With his thicked-rimmed glasses, trimmed mustache and white cargo van, he relishes in the opportunity Halloween provides to snatch up children to feed his cannibalistic desires. His is the house you stay away from on Halloween, and every neighborhood has someone like him.
Creepy.
Sampled up with clips from the Tales From the Darkside pilot Trick or Treats, featuring a different kind of Halloween predator, Mr. Hackle.
Banker and land baron to a small farming community, he has the whole of the town indebted to him through IOUs. Every Halloween he allows the children a chance to enter his haunted abode and search for the IOUs to clear their parent’s debt.
There, they find he has a few tricks up his sleeve for them. But this year, the spirits of Halloween have a few tricks in store for him.
Featured within is one of the scariest witches to ever grace the screen, who’s cackle and entreaties for treats are the stuff of nightmares. What better combo for Acid Witch and their All Hallo’s horror?
A band named Halloween wouldn’t be worth their weight in candy corn if they weren’t coming correct with a song called Trick or Treat.
Thankfully, Detroit’s Heavy Metal Horror Show doesn’t disappoint. From Halloween’s 1985 debut album Don’t Metal with Evil comes Trick or Treat, just like it says on the tin.
Another British band singing about Halloween? What gives, Ed? You said the Brits don’t give a toss for All Hallo’s.
Well, I don’t get the impression that they do. I’ve never claimed to be the authority on any matter, not even Halloween Horror Music, and I’ve written far too many words concerning that subject.
Whether that impression is true or not is neither here nor there when it comes to this ‘digger, because it’s a clear case of a band disguising a song as a Halloween song.
Witchfynde’sTrick or Treat details the dealings of a two-faced sort of character that has much but always wants more. Eventually, not being able to satiate his desires, he takes to B&E, a bit of murder, and gets himself tossed in the clink. Not exactly a love song, but definitely not specifically about Halloween.
Still, it’s a pretty groovin’ tune from a weird, occulty band called Witchfynde where the lyrics “Trick or Treat” get repeated a number of times, so we’re lightin’ it up.
Throw in a little festive atmosphere from the Tales From the Darkside episode entitled Halloween Candy, and you’ve got yourself a perfect number for an Oct. 20th’s evenings.
Similar to Chuck’s tune, Otis Redding’s Trick or Treat isn’t necessarily about Halloween either. It is more related though, if only because Otis actually uses the word “Halloween.” That’s a bonus.
Despite his utilization of the name, he mostly seems concerned that this floozy is playing games with his emotions. First she’s hot on him, then maybe she gets a little chilly.
Either way, Otis just wants to know what the score is, cause he ain’t about to wait until Halloween to find out he ain’t gettin’ a Treat, which I can only assume is some sort of sexual favor.
What does any of this even have to do with Halloween? Nothing really, I suppose. Then why use Halloween at all? It’s a good question. He gets to incorporate the phrase “trick or treat,” but I don’t see that as a huge selling point from a song writing perspective.
Here, it implies that it’s a treat if the girl loves him, and a trick is she only likes him. That’s pretty odd though, to consider being “liked” a trick. I get what Otis is saying, but it does seem a little strange to perceive the state of being “liked” as mere trickery.
I’d rather be liked than disliked, or straight up hated on, but hey, that’s just me.
At any rate here’s another Trick or Treat song with dubious usage of Halloween, albeit from one of the greats, Mr. Otis Redding.
So, Chuck Berry pretty much invented Rock ‘N Roll, right? Well, at least how we might conceptualize it now anyway? That rhythm and blues styled, riff-based, axe-out-front, back beat driven, power-stance Rock ‘N Roll? The kind that soothes Bob Seger’s soul? Yeah, I think that’s pretty widely agreed upon.
You know what else Chuck Berry did? He wrote a song about Halloween.
Well, kinda.
See, this tune makes no real overt reference to the holiday itself or its traditions. It is, however, called Trick or Treat and that phrase is repeated quite a number of times.
So, when the true King of Rock ‘N Roll straps one on and starts wailing “Trick or Treat, Baby,” The Shindig isn’t about to split hairs.
You know that new Halloween sound you been looking for? Well, listen to this!
Trick or Treat (For Halloween) by Al Hoffman, Jerry Livingston and Mack David
Though Siouxsie Sioux’s song starts this block off rather nicely, let’s fully embrace the Trick or Treat vibe with this tune from Disney’s classic 1952 short Trick or Treat starring Donald Duck.
Full of great vintage Halloween imagery, the short features Huey, Dewey and Louie approaching their uncle’s house for a bit of Trick or Treat. But Donald’s an asshole and he promptly puts fireworks in their bags. His own Nephews? What a prick.
No matter, as the boys soon find a Witch and now the trick’s on Donald as she conjures a potion which transforms just about everything into a nightmarish object to torment Donald.
Based around this typically Disney-styled tune, the short is a great October viewing for any fans of either Disney or the season.
The British don’t really give a shit about Halloween. At least not according to me and this blog on the occasions when we’ve previously stated as such.
Strange then that innovative British Post-Punkers and Goth pioneers Siouxsie and the Banshees have a song titled Halloween. Or maybe not, given their whole gothy aesthetic. To be fair though, their song isn’t a parade of Milky Ways, Don Post masks and burning orange gourds.
No, Siouxsie Sioux’s track is a more atmospheric affair that seems to deal with a loss of childhood innocence.
Doubling fitting then that we bookend it with samples from the aforementioned Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane, where American creepster Martin Sheen sleazes all over British child Jodi Foster on the Eve of All Saints in a decidedly less-than-innocent fashion.
He also provides us with a pretty solid and concise description of what Halloween represents stateside:
“Oh, it’s a big day here when all the kids get dressed up in scary costumes and masks and go around to all the houses. When you answer the door the shout ‘trick or treat’ and you’re suppose to act scared, and if you don’t give them a treat, they’ll pull some dirty trick on you.”
Yep, that’s pretty much what we got going on over here.
Let’s just 80’s metal it right into Halloween. Whaddya say, Weeners?
Much like Track 110 (Halloween by Halloween) here’s another titular band-anthem from a different band named after our haunted holiday.
That fact that 2 bands like that exist is a little bizarre. What’s next, Samhain by Samhain?
Oh wait.
Well it’s not the next song, does that count? But yeah, that exists too and is represented on The Shindig. Maybe we should make room for another category “bands just named after this fucking holiday.”
You only get this type of shit with Halloween. Don’t see too many bands running around named “Christmas” or “Yom Kippur” (both of which actually exist, for those of you playing at home.)
But I digress.
Atlanta-based thrash-metal pioneers Hallows Eve even have a similar tale to the aforementioned Halloween. Releasing some hard hitting early albums but never really gaining much notoriety, they dismantled due to heavy lineup changes only to reemerged after years of inactivity.
I became familiar with them (perhaps like many horror fans) through the inclusion of their song D.I.E. on the Black Rosessoundtrack. Thankfully these guys produced a Band-Anthem and sealed their Shindig fate.
Can we take a moment here to talk about this album cover for a sec? Look at that fucking thing. It’s incredible. It looks like you just started a metal band with those 2 burnouts from Mr. Finn’s Chemistry class then asked that hesher kid with the peach fuzz mustache to draw you this shit in a notebook at lunch. And then he turned around handed you the coolest fucking drawing you’d ever seen in your life.
“Hallows Eve, bro. Look at that shit.”
Awesome.
In an apparently unrelated aside, I’ll say that Brits don’t care much for Halloween. It’s not really a big deal over there – don’t really give shit, don’t see the fuss.
However, they due refer to it as “All Hallo’s.” So what better samples to integrate than these from Hammer’s Horror swan song To the Devil a Daughter.
Since it takes place around All Hallo’s, we get some nice satany Hallows Eve banter.
Coming off their debut album Tales of Terror, here’s Hallows Eve with Hallows Eve.
And just remember, 98% of so-called Satanists are nothing but pathetic freaks who get their kicks out of dancing naked in freezing church yards and use The Devil as an excuse for getting some sex.
This strange dusty Halloween relic was written by Cy Coben and originally recorded by Rosemary Clooney (yeah, George’s Ma Dukes) back in 1950.
No disrespect to Mama Clooney but the Shindig prefers this version from 1952 recorded by Fran Allison and Ollie Fame. It’s a little sillier, a bit more up-tempo and generally more fun to listen to, in our opinion.
I always say “our.” Why do I do this? Who exactly is the “we” in this equation? I’m the only one here, so who the hell am I referring to, exactly? I think this is perhaps burgeoning psychosis, but I digress.
Looking online it seems a lot of people have memories of learning and singing this tune in grade school around Halloween.
I have no such memory.
In fact, I have no memories attached to this song whatsoever. I don’t even know when I first heard it, where I heard it or why it was even being played. It’s just been on my computer (and the playlist) for some years now, defying my temporal lobe.
I enjoy this song a great deal, though. It makes me happy when I hear it. It’s a nice little Halloween ditty that’s fun to play.
I think I may be the only one who feels this way however, for it’s a weird number that’s always sure to turn a head or two in the party crowd:
Angry Listener : “What the fuck is this? Some kinda Christmas song or some shit?”
Me: “No, but it does kinda sound like one, huh? It’s just an old Halloween song about pumpkins. It’s for kids, I think.”
Angry Listener:“Well why the fuck are we listening to it then?”
Me: “Cause it’s Halloween and we’re at a Halloween party and she’s singing about a pumpkin that’s all stoked it gets to be a Jack-O-Lantern instead of a pie. Why else?”
Angry Listener: “Oh Yeah? Well this song punkin’ sucks. In fact, it can suck my punkins. How bout that?”
Me: “Go suck your own punkins, pal. Fran Allison is a sweetheart, you hedonistic dildo!”
This exact conversation (or an entirely less confrontational version of it) has happened every year with someone listening to this playlist since Punky Punkin’s inclusion.
Maybe this will happen at your party.
Or maybe it won’t because you wouldn’t be caught dead playing this kind of bullshit at your Halloween party.
That’s fine. In fact, that’s exactly what The Shindig is here for. To be a convenient one-stop hovel of Halloween hits where we talk about and provide Halloween song suggestions you can peruse or listen to or download and add (or not add) to your own party playlist.
You can’t honesty be expected to want to add all of them. Nor could you be expected to even listen to all of them much less like all of them. We wouldn’t begin to presume such things. But they are all here, ripe for the picking this harvest season.
But seriously though, if you don’t like this song you’re probably an asshole.
Let’s just cap off this 80’s metal block with perhaps the greatest 80’s metal Halloween track ever recorded.
If a band named Helloween didn’t have a song called Halloween, I might have to sit down with them and have real frank discussion. Fortunately, that’s not necessary thanks to this metal overture to the Eve of All Hallo’s.
Originally something like 13 minutes, I use the edited single version on the Shindig for the sake of movement. No one at your party has time for an 13 minute cautionary epic that finds time to include Charlie Brown, Linus and the Great Pumpkin. Nothing’s lost however as the song still remains a balls-to-the-wall heavy metal Halloween harangue and is essential party playlist material
Check out this single they released. Is there anything more Halloweeny-awesome then cutting your vinyl into the shape of a pumpkin and fuck all to everyone’s turntables?
This is the back image, with its sexy, high heeled and stockinged Halloween harlot leap-frogging over Jack-O-Lantern. Yep, everything checks out back here.
It housed the edited version, while the Jack-O-Lantern face held it down on the front with the 13min original. I love this thing. It’s one of the coolest vinyls I’ve ever seen.
Curiously and for no apparent reason, the edited version begins with a few notes from the old standard London Bridge, via the pan flute or some such instrument. Completely random selection? Perhaps not.
Fans of Halloween 3 (and that should be all of you) may wonder if the intro is a nod to The Silver Shamrock song, itself just London Bridge with different lyrics. And it’s possible, as the 1987 album Keeper of the Seven Keys Pt. 1 post dates Season of the Witch by 5 years, plenty of time for the German heshers to throw down referentially.
And apparently they did, according to Metal-Archives.com anyway.
User “hells_unicorn” says
“Helloween formed and began with a concept inspired by the 1982 Halloween sequel “The Season of the Witch”, one which enjoys a rather comfortable place in my library of old VHS tapes. To this day fans chant the famous Silver Shamrock jingle when the band takes the stage, as the melody can be found in full or fragmented form on most of their studio albums.”
Well, there you have it.
Appropriately the Shindig has the Silver Shamrock song lead this fucker in.
So, do as Helloween instructs, perhaps ominously considering the reference:
“Grab your mask and don’t be late.”
But beware, cause
“in the streets on Halloween the spirits will arise. Make your choice is hell or paradise.”
So, what’s it gonna be, Weeners?
For Halloween, we treat you with Halloween from Helloween.
It’s time once again Weeners for the King of Halloween himself, Mr. King Diamond.
Sure, this song isn’t really about Halloween or even Trick or Treating for that matter, but the King is playing a game called Trick or Treat and damn it if that’s not good enough for the Ole Shindig.
Ever the theatrical, King Diamond’s catalog consists mostly of concept albums, as the majority tell very detailed and horrific stories. Why no one has turned one of these into a movie yet is beyond me. There’s a couple of real good ones.
In particular, the gem from which our next tracks hails, 1996’s The Graveyard.
The Graveyard tells the story of an unnamed King Diamond character who is wrongfully committed to a sanitarium by Mayor McKenzie. Seems King used to work for the him and one night happened upon the The Mayor molesting his own daughter. Yikes.
So the Mayor cooked up a story and tossed King Diamond into the meat grinder.
After years in Blackhill Sanitarium losing his mind, King kills a nurse, escapes and takes refuge in The Graveyard, where he begins to plots his revenge. He also murders some other people and becomes obsessed with the idea of a person’s soul living inside its decapitated head forever, but mostly it’s the revenge he’s interested in.
And that’s where we join our story…
King has kidnapped the Mayor’s daughter Lucy and buried her alive in one of seven graves. Mayor McKenzie has 3 tries to discover which grave is holding Lucy or he will murder them both…
::my best John Kassir impression::
…in a little game the King is calling…Treat Or Treat…yeeehahahahaaaaa.
If you’ve been following The Shindig for any reasonable amount of time then you may have noticed I hardly ever mention A Nightmare Before Christmas. In fact, aside from that post-Halloween gif I reblogged last year, I’ve never mentioned it before. There’s a couple of good reason for this.
One of them is that there is certainly no shortage of love shown to Tim Burton and Henry Selick’s 1993 stop motion classic around the web, especially within the Halloween circles this blog runs. I’ll wager you could recreate the film pretty handedly from just the gifs on Tumblr alone. Everyone knows it, everyone loves it. No sense in beating a dead horse, the way I see it.
More directly though, it has never been a movie I typically associate with Halloween. Sure, Jack The Pumpkin King, Halloweentown and all of that, but for me the film has always been a decidedly Christmas affair. Fuck, the word Christmas appears in its title. That’s an automatic disqualification from any Halloween movie list as far as The Shindig is concerned.
However, as everyone is well aware, the first 10 minutes or so before Jack happens into Christmastown are about as Halloweeny as as it gets, aided in no small part by this fantastic song from Halloween Hero and Shindig All-Star Danny Elfman.
It’s one of the most Halloweeny songs ever committed to film or record period and any Halloween playlist would be remiss not to include it. And whenever that claim comes down the pipe, The Shindig abides.
Since we all know and have just addressed with whom you’d contact over telephone wires should it become apparent that you in fact have harmful apparitions approaching, let’s task listeners with a similar question:
Yeah, but who do you call when you have Monsters?
That’s right. And at last we come to The Monster Squad. From the very first CD in 2002, The Monster Squad has been a permanent fixture of Halloween Shindig and remains one of my favorite selections on the playlist.
Granted, I may be a bit biased but this song is representing hard. Let’s check the stats:
Is it about a horror movie?
Check, it’s about the goddamn Monster Squad.
Ah, yes, but is it in the movie?
In it? Motherfucker, it’s the Title Track. Triple check that shit.
We talkin’ bout Monsters?
Fuck yeah we are. It’s like a goddamn monster mash up in this motherfucker. Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, the Wolfman, the Mummy, the Creature from the Black Lagoon. That’s the big five, son. Throw in some sexy vampire chicks, a grotesque bat transformation and a werewolf exploding out of the sky and you’ve got some real monster shit on lock. Check + to Monster Song.
What more could you ask for? Well, they even mention Halloween too. Sure, it’s to illustrate how this ain’t Halloween (or some phony deal) but we’ll just look that other way on that one. They say Halloween and damn it if that ain’t all that matters sometimes.
Now all of that sounds like a Referentially Inclusive Monster Halloween Title Track to me, gang.
And it’s a Monster Rap to boot? Holy shit, is there anything this song can’t do?
One of the most ridiculous tracks you can imagine, The Monster Squad was suspiciously recorded by some anonymous collective of Hip-Hop Demigods that chose to remain nameless. What?!
Why the hell anyone would elect to do this is so far beyond the scope of my imagination it boarders on madness. If I was responsible for this song I’d put it on every job application I ever filled out.
2 years as an Assistant Hanger Inspector for Sears and Roebuck.
4 months as a Substitute Wigsmith at The Downtown Clownery.
Oh yeah and I wrote the motherfucking Monster Squad Rap. What’s up?
From a time when everyone thought something like this was a really great idea, The Monster Squad (for anyone thinking otherwise) is a really great idea.
It’s is pretty whack? Yeah, I guess so. If you wanna be a jerk about it.
Is it poorly conceived and equally executed? Yeah, I suppose I’d have to concede that fact too, if you really want this to be a frank discussion about musical integrity.
But fuck that discussion and fuck you for wanting it pal, cause this song fucking rules. It’s a rap song about a group of kids fighting The Universal Monsters. Oh, did you not catch that? It’s a rap song about a group of kids fighting The Universal Monsters. Whomever is responsible for this song should be a cultural icon. They should have a fucking Grammy and an Academy Award.
Instead, (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing took the honor that year. All right, fair enough. Maybe that’s a better song, but it lacks the lyric:
“We don’t wanna hang with the walking dead, so we gotta kick some monster butt instead.”
What’s up now, Academy of Arts and Sciences?
Looking into this travesty further, I discovered the competition that year was actually pretty stiff. Check this shit out:
“Storybook Love” by Willy DeVille and Mark Knopfler from The Princess Bride
Damn, that’s a solid 80’s line-up right there. Maybe I spoke too soon. Still, it should have been nominated at the absolute least. Who the hell is still talking about Cry Freedom 26 years later?
No one, that’s who.
But I digress.
An interesting side note to this song: the original version I had on the 2002 CD was pulled from my old VHS copy of Monster Squad. Incidentally, this was later signed by Tom “The Gillman” Woodruff Jr. Coincidence? I like to think not.
This version of the song contained the line:
“First came Dracula, now the Wolfman too, The Mummy and the Gillman swimming in the pool.”
What? Why did that roll call just fall the fuck apart?
Hear that sample below:
I always thought this was a pretty strange and horrendous line, particularly when they could have just as simply said “and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.”
But I guess they couldn’t say “and the Creature from the Black Lagoon,” for the home video release. Damn copyrights.
All things considered, that’s not a bad save. Syllabically sound, it even sort of rhymes, at least no more or less than the original false rhyme. But damn is it silly. Who the fuck is the Gillman? Why are they calling The Creature from the Black Lagoon “The Gillman?” And why is he in the pool? Did I miss a scene where he climbs out of a pool? Why did he just say that?
Upon upgrading the tune for better quality many years later when The Monster Squad finally saw a DVD release, I noticed the line was suddenly changed to “and the Creature From The Black Lagoon” and I thought “Shit, that must have been the original lyric. How about that.” Now, I just feel sort of nostalgic for the old, butchered scab.
But I’ve spoken too verbosely about all of this as is, so let’s just make with the goods, huh?
One of my favorite songs on the playlist from one of my favorite movies of all time. Here it is….The Monster Squad.
What better way to celebrate Halloween than with a song called Halloween by a band called Halloween? Sounds like a triple threat to me.
But who the hell is Halloween? It’s a great question, one I found myself asking just a few weeks ago.
Known to the Motor City as Detroit’s Heavy Metal Horror Show, Halloween didn’t find a whole lot of notoriety outside of their niche in early 80’s metal. Hampered by line-up changes, delayed album releases and shelved efforts, Halloween just never seemed to gain any traction.
However, they’ve had numerous reunions over the years, re-releases and they even still play Halloween shows to this day. Hell, you could probably go see them right now in Detroit. They played last year, and I think they’re doing it again this year as well.
All I know is that we just found these guys and overnight they became Shindig All-Stars. How a band called Halloween somehow slipped through the cracks we may never know, but like all hidden Halloween gems, these treats don’t escape our tricking grasp for long. And with songs like Halloween Night, Trick Or Treat and Tales From The Crypt you can be sure you haven’t heard the last of Halloween.
So, let’s welcome the boys of Detroit’s Heavy Metal Horror Show into the fold with a ceremonious Hallo’s Eve initiation, aided in part by that creepy old druid lady from Halloween 6, and Tommy Doyle of course, overacted to perfection by a very young Paul Rudd.
Halloween, take your rightful place amongst your brethren, with all the other hallowed horrors of our Halloween halls.
And with that…on Halloween, here’s Halloween performing…Halloween.
