haunted house rockin

Audio

Doin’ It in a Haunted House

TRACK #372:

Doin’ It In A Haunted House by Yvonne Gage

Sometimes you just wish you knew a song existed sooner.

This would have paired perfectly with the 2022 addition, Stay the Night, which sounded suspiciously similar to Bon Jovi’s You Give Love a Bad Name.

But even earlier than that, this song would have fit in nicely with all the other Haunted House hits in 2017.

Or perhaps, if I had know about this tune even earlier, I could have thrown it where it probably belongs, directly after Thriller, because damnit if this isn’t the most shameless Thriller knock-off I’ve ever heard.

Ok, maybe Golimar, but that thing was tucked away inside some obscure Telugu musical that no one saw for 25 years. Additionally, it doesn’t sound anywhere near as similar to Thriller as Doin’ It In a Haunted House does, which released to the American pop charts within a year of Thriller’s debut.

So shameless is this tune, in fact, that it sample’s directly from John Landis’ Thriller video in the opening minutes of the song. That’s either some kinda balls, or just plain wearing it on your sleeve. Cause if they didn’t think people would go “Hey! That sounds just like Thriller!” then someone is outta their goddamn mind.

And apparently they did, with Yvonne Gage herself stating (at least in retrospect) that she expressed concerns over its similarity to Thriller. These concerns were brushed away by the production team and they moved forward with the tune.

And boy am I glad they did, because Yvonne Cage’s Doin’ It In a Haunted House is a glorious thing. Not only is a fairly groovin’ tune, because well, it’s basically Thriller, but it’s called fuckin’ Doin’ It in a Haunted House. That’s just fantastic. And it’s not played for laughs either, at least as far as I can tell. This doesn’t strike me a jokey tune. This is just a straight faced Thriller knock-off with a ridiculous goddamn title and it’s beautiful.

It’s not terribly often that a song just gets an instant spot on the Plyalist based on its title alone. Most of them, I need to at least hear first. But this one? I was basically of the opinion that if it was even remotely listenable, it was goin on there, no question.

Then, I fire it up and it’s some ridiculous Thriller knock-off on top of that? Where has this song been all my life?! There’s still gems to be uncovered, even after years into this juggernaut.

But let’s talk about this song, shall we?

Let’s start with Yvonne, who began singing (as many girls do) at her local church from a very young age. Soon, she joined a band called the Soulettes and they even released an album under the band name Love, but Yvonne had already moved on by then, singing back up for a guy named Captain Sky. From there she met producer Don Burnside.

In addition to introducing her to Ministry (of all bands, with whom she recorded in their ) Don also produced her first 2 albums.

Originally, Doin’ It in a Haunted House was envisioned as a “response” record in the vein of Lydia Murdocks Superstar. If you’ve never heard that tune, I recommend giving it a listen, as it’s pretty wild if you’ve never come across it before.

Sung from the perspective of Billie Jean, Lydia posits Michael Jackson’s No. 1 tales omits some pretty big details and she means to set the record straight.

That record also sounds suspiciously like Billie Jean, aping the bassline and basic rhythm.

That sort of thing isn’t unheard of either, though not typically so overt. In fact, Response Songs (or Answers Songs) are as old as recorded music itself. Take a look at that list to see just how many songs are in fact (a good many of which I was totally unaware were) response songs.

What you might notice missing from that list, however, is Yvonne Gage’s Doin’ It in a Haunted House.

And probably not unjustly.

Despite being sold as the “Female Answer to Thriller,” the lyrics do little to suggest this is anything other than a similiar-ish concept wrapped up in a package sounding entirely too much like Thriller.

At least Rod Temperton thought so, anyway. See, he was the co-writer of Thriller and he proceeded to sue Gage for copyright infringement. Nothing really came from the suit, with Yvonne herself stating that Rod didn’t so much want money as he wanted to simply kill her record. Which, in effect, it kind of did, with deals and appearances evaporating from Yvonne upon the lawsuits release.

Mission accomplished pal, cause I haven’t heard of this thing in 40 years of its existence and I’m looking for shit like this. I guess I’m just not looking hard enough. Or maybe just not in the right places.

But like we always say, these kinds of things can’t hide from The Shindig forever, even if they should have been on there since day 1.

If you’ve never heard this one before, enjoy! If you’ve long been a fan, what the fuck? Drop The Shindig a line, will ya? This is too good an addition for ya’ll to have been sittin’ on.

 

Audio

Haunted House Rock

TRACK #371:

Haunted House Rock by
Cool Rock T and Daggy D

Our next tune is another Monster Rap from the absolutely Monster Rap-dominated year of 1987. In addition to the 9 (yes 9!) Freddy Krueger raps released in 1987, you’ve got the 2 songs we just posted, plus Gregory D’s Monster Booogie and Monster Rap Title Track juggernaut The Monster Squad.

That means tonights tune brings our grand total to 14 Monster Raps on the playlist that were released in 1987 alone. There’s also yet another one waiting in the Bullpen (feel free to click here if you find you’re too impatient for all that) making the true total 15!

And those are the ones that I’m aware of. There could be even more out there and I just haven’t hit the right search yet. So who knows.

Tonight’s ’87er comes from Cool Rock T and Daggy D, and it might sound a bit reminiscent of another…more famous…monster rap that you’re already familiar with, which is funny because the b-side to this single was called…Reminiscing.

This is another tune one that was sort of “lost” to the ages as the rip on YouTube right now is not the full song, and there didn’t seem to be any records floating around for sale. However, that was the case until a few months ago, when Monster Rap hero CCSchwiegert, listed this single on discogs.

Now, they listed it for $300 buck mind you, but to my amazement, they also posted a link to an audio sample of the record for potential buyers. And that sample? Yep, it was the entire fucking song. So, thank you CCSchweigert, you are an absolute legend. Sorry I didn’t kick you down the $300 bills, but owning a rare physical record simply  because it is rare isn’t necessarily important to me, particularly at that price. See Track #370.

Now, you may be wondering why you’ve never heard of Cool Rock T (better known as Robert Tingle) and Daggy D (also known as Deron Wilson) and it’s probably because they don’t appear to have any other credits to their names unfortunately. This seems to be it from the duo.

As derivative as it may be, I love this tune. I love this beat. I love the lyrics. I love the way they make fake cars sounds during the intro. It’s just awesome. I mean it’s 100% aping Whodini, but in the best possible way.

Besides, I’m pretty sure I vote for Haunted House of Rock as my favorite Monster Rap of all time, and at present, it appears to be the originator. So what better tune to ape?

Here it is. It’s not a Haunted House made of, or where to find Rock, but rather the kind of Rock that is for, or of, a Haunted House. Ya know, Haunted House Rock.

 

Audio

The Haunted House of Rock: Mini-Playlist

Ok. So, now that I do have a record player, I can finally spin my previously only decorative copy of Whodini’s 12″ 45 for The Haunted House of Rock.

What does that mean for you, dear readers? Why a mini-playlist, of course!

Here, for your listening pleasure, are the 4 different versions of The Haunted House of Rock on offer from that single, including the exceedingly spooked-out Vocoder version.

For the uninitiated, a Vocoder is something you’re familiar with even if you aren’t familiar with the term.

Developed throughout the ’30s by Homer Dudley for Bell Labs, it was first unleashed to the public at the 1939 World’s Fair in New York.

It’s essentially a device that synthesizes human speech. It analyzes the source (your voice) and assigns different parts of that signal to different frequency bands. On the other side, a a series of band-pass filter reproduces those frequencies and, with the  help of an envelope follower, creates a robotic facsimile of your voice.

Initially, it was intended to reduce the bandwidth of vocal information for transmission over long distances. Problem was, it kind of sucked at reproducing the human voice convincingly. Too creepy.

Since that sort of thing never stops the United States Military, they put it to use during WWII to encrypt voice messages. See, without the proper frequency band information on the other end, the enemy could not decode that messages. Pretty neat.

However, thanks to several industrious souls, the vocoder soon found its way into the hands of musicians. Not the least of those souls were legendary synth builder Bob Moog and equally legendary synth user Wendy Carlos.

The musical incarnation works a bit differently, but it uses the same principle. Your voice is analyzed and then reproduced by the band-pass filters, but in this case, a “carrier” is sent through that filter as well, like the notes of a synthesizer. This allows you to alter the pitch of that robotic voice and create something altogether more interesting and musical.

Think Earth Wind and Fire’s Let’s Groove Tonight, Michael Jackson’s PYT,  Daft Punks Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, or (the ultimate example, if you ask me) the evil Decepticon Soundwave on the Transformers cartoon.

Used abusively throughout the 80’s by all all different genres, its has the unmistakable sound of a decade. Here, in modulated grandeur, Whodini asks…

Is this what you wanted?

Something funky and haunted?

To which I reply…

Yep.

Also of interest on the single is an Acapella version, which is kind of fun to hear and a Haunted Mix, which is mostly an instrumental track. There’s also a version which claims to be extended, but sounds no different to me than the version already present on Halloween Shindig.

Either way, it all adds up to the a spooky good time any fan of this song should definitely enjoy.

If you don’t wanna party, take your dead ass home!

 

Audio

Hauntedween

TRACK #150:

Hauntedween by Ernest Raymer

What better place to bring our Haunted House Rockin’ block to an end than here, at the Berber House with Hauntedween, a Haunted House Halloween Title Track?

While not a real haunted house, The Berber House is just a festive Haunted House, or rather a Haunt, which has hitherto been unrepresented in our block.

A staple of the season since well before I was brought to this plane of existence, The Haunted House is as much a part of Halloween as Trick-or-Treating, Jack O’Lanterns and slutty costumes.

High school kids in rubber masks weave through a thick mist of dangling limbs and fake fog, looking for their next mark.

Disorienting lights strobe to the beat of pneumatic pistons firing foam jump scares.

A chainsaw is perpetually chugging somewhere, sometimes roaring to life, but from where, you couldn’t say.

Grown adults tip-toe around dark corners, weary of things they know aren’t really out to get them.

The nervous shriek, the tough guys almost instinctively punch and the weirdos laugh uneasily.

Some are good and some are terrible, but they all have that same smell, that same vibe, the same excitement, and you should always treat yourself to at least one visit a season.

If you live around Southern California, I highly recommend Reign of Terror in Thousand Oaks. Skip Universal, Knotts and The Griffith Park Hayride, and check that place out.

Hauntedween is a low budget affair filled with that same sort of passionate home-town charm and love for the holiday you find in local Haunted Houses, and it features a killer lying in wait at just such a local Haunt. You can read The Shindig’s write-up here!

This Title Track (which it is gracious enough to give us) plays over a montage of the Sigma Phi frat boys rebuilding the old local Haunt in preparation for a holiday fundraiser to save their fraternity!

It may be awkward to say, and it may not make one bit of sense, but here it is all the same…it’s Hauntedween!

Someone’s dying to start the show.

 

Audio

The Haunted House of Rock

TRACK #148:

The Haunted House Of Rock by Whodini

Trick Or Treat – what more can you possibly give The Shindig? Haven’t you given enough already? Surely there are no more Halloween delights under your thin candy shell.

Oh, but there is – a thick nougat center of Monster Rap awesomeness.

In between all the Fastway rocking of the Trick Or Treat soundtrack, tucked away so’s you might not even notice, is this curve-ball of horrific proportions. From 80’s Hip-Hop maestros Whodini comes one of the finest Monster Raps featured on The Shindig, The Haunted House of Rock.

Played during the Halloween Dance sequence, just before Roger turns the speakers over to Sammy Curr’s backwards metallic cassette, Whodini rocks a rhyme about the monsters and mayhem taking place at the titular haunted abode.

What is this song doing on this soundtrack? What is this song even doing in existence? I don’t have an answer to either question, but in both cases I’m sure glad it is.

Succeeding in just about every way Lovebug Starski’s Amityville fails, The Haunted House of Rock features an actual Haunted House propagated by a multitude of real ghouls with no sign of any Starship Enterprise crew members in sight.

Amityville only outshines it for a brief moment when Dracula raps. That’s pretty huge and should not be ignored. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Amityville and it’s ridiculously unhaunted tale, but Whodini delivers the goods in way Starski only aspires to and they remain the champs of the Haunted Monster Party Rap game.

The Haunted House of Rock may even be the champ of the Monster Rap game in its entirety. But it does have some stiff competition.

If you Iike your Monster Raps a bit more specific, Are You Ready For Freddy might be your speed. If you like them a bit more ridiculous, then maybe The Maniac Cop Rap is the winner. Or if you like your Monster Rappin a bit more whack, then The Monster Squad is just what the doctor ordered.

But for my money, when it comes to legitimacy, Whodini is holding it down with this old-school hip-hop horror hit and its inclusion in Trick Or Treat just ups the ante.

I saw everybody there, except you. Let’s change that this year.

 

Audio

Terror (In the Haunted House)

TRACK #146:

Terror (in the Haunted House) by Blitzkid

Though they share titles, I’m not entirely convinced Blitzkid was inspired by the film Terror in the Haunted House to write this upbeat spookster.

See, Terror in the Haunted House doesn’t really take place in a Haunted House. I suppose House on Haunted Hill doesn’t really either, but it at least it pretends to. Terror in the Haunted House doesn’t even do that.

What it does do however, is attempt to bug you out with a bunch of subliminal messages and images cut into the movie. They called this gimmick “Psycho-Rama!” which sounds way cooler than it actually is.

The look of these messages is pretty goofy. They’re actually kind of distracting and not at all effective. Take a look. I’ve slowed them down for optimum perception!

Not so spooky. Hell, the later ones seem pretty aftermarket. Particularly this red snake one, instructing you to “Rent Rhino Videos Everyday.”

Yeah, pretty sure prints didn’t ship with that message in 1958.

No, Terror in the Haunted House is more like a psychological thriller than a horror, and not an entirely ineffective one at that. A bit silly sure and no doubt more than just a little Castle-esque, but it is occasionally somewhat sinister and intriguing.

Mostly though, it’s just a snoozer. And with the absence of any fun ghosts or phantasmic goings-ons, 100% missable.

So, let’s just enjoy this spooky spin from Shindig All-Stars Blitzkid. It’s shorter and a lot more fun.

 

Audio

Haunted House

TRACK #145:

Haunted House by Chris Kevin and The Comics

Well, here’s another Haunted House song inspiredly titled Haunted House. I suppose you can’t fault anyone for directness, or at least maybe you shouldn’t, especially not Chris Kevin or his Comics.

So, who are Chris Kevin and The Comics, you ask? Oh, you didn’t ask that just now, reading the above lead-in? Hmm, well indulge me for a moment as I pretend as though you give a shit.

Turns out I have no idea. None. And I couldn’t find much in the way of information regarding these guys on the old Internet either. Maybe one day some other goofball will be searching for information on Chris Kevin and The Comcis and stumble across this hole and shriek out in hope. Not bloody likely, and then not exactly helpful to him, as I have no damn information for that guy either. Sorry guy.

Curiously though, despite the frivolity suggested by Chris’ band’s name, their Haunted House is perhaps the least silly novelty song the Shindig’s ever run across. I mean, they’re not even trying to make this shit funny.

Quite the contrary in fact, as this song actually leans more toward religious cautionary tale about the dangers of a Haunted House. Well, the dangers of not living “right,” anyway (read: probably heterosexually.)

Your soul will be all caught up and burning and so on and so forth, you know the drill. What this has to do with a Haunted House, I haven’t the slightest idea, but if you enter this one, I guess you’ll be damning yourself for whatever reason.

Seems a little arbitrary though, no? Suppose you’re planning on battling the evil forces on behalf of Christ while you’re in there? Suppose you were selling Bibles door-to-door? Suppose you just happened to breakdown in front of this particular house and needed some assistance? That doesn’t seem like the sort of thing that should damn your eternal soul. But you’re ok, cause you got that whole “living right” caveat working for you.

So, don’t blow any dudes inside the Haunted House, have any premarital sex, light any joints or read any communist propaganda, or shit I don’t know, touch yourself or something – whatever the hell passed for not living right in 1959. I’ll bet it didn’t include gender reassignment surgery, or locking up an 8 year old in a basement for 9 years, I can tell you that much.

But hey, let’s keep this light, huh? This is a novelty song from a band claiming to be The Comics,  whoever the hell they may actually be.

 

Audio

Haunted House

TRACK #144:

Haunted House by Jumpin’ Gene Simmons

Here’s a dusty old ditty that proves folks have been fascinated with Haunted Houses for well over 50 years.

From Jumpin’ Gene Simmons comes this lighthearted tale of terror with an upbeat tempo from 1964. However, this song was originally recorded by Johnny Fuller in 1959. If we’re being honest, we prefer Johnny’s version quite a bit more than Gene’s. It’s faster, more bluesy and Johnny sings the thing with a lot more character. It’s just more fun in Johnny’s hands. Have a listen – you be the judge.

 

However, we’ve “officially” opted to include Gene’s version on the Shindig for 3 reason:

1. It appears on Elvira’s Haunted Hits (and Vinyl Macabre for that matter)
2. It’s a little more polished and user friendly.
3. KISS’s very own Gene Simmons took his stage name in tribute to Jumpin’ Gene, and that’s pretty great.

Despite starting his career with legendary Sun Records and opening for Elvis Presley, this was Jumpin’ Gene’s only Top 40 hit, and it made it all the way to #11! Not bad for a silly novelty song about a haunted house. I guess people were into that sort of thing back in 1964.
What a world. I can’t picture anything even mildly resembling this song performing as well in 2017.

In fact, check it out at your next Shindig. See how a modern audience reacts to this little rockabilly spookster. My guess? It won’t make it to #11 with any of your guest. 
But it definitely makes it to at least #144 here on Halloween Shindig.

 

Audio

Amityville

TRACK #143:

Amityville by Lovebug Starski

In 1985, rap pioneer Lovebug Starski (best known widely for, well this song) decided it’d be a good idea if he just recorded some random track about Amityville. Not for any Amityville movie mind you, but rather during a 5 year lull in the franchise (3D having been released in ‘83, and Curse not for another 4 years.)

Hell, he didn’t even make it in reference to the movies really, but just cause he thought it’d be fun I guess and maybe even a hit.

And he was right!  This sucker broke the Billboard Top 20 in ‘86, which means that, for a period of time in America, people were legitimately rocking out to this song. Which is totally understandable. This song is awesome and weird as shit.

Starski uses the real Amityville legend (I guess?) as a sort of jumping off point for some crazy-ass song about a vaguely Haunted House where nothing much happens, but everybody visits.

A Karloff-esque butler greets Starski upon his arrival, then later Dracula shows up for no good reason and raps. Now, that alone is plenty of reason for Amityville to make the cut for every Halloween party playlist ever created.

And as if that wasn’t bizarre enough though, just for the hell of it, Captain Kirk, Scotty and Spock arrive at one point to talk about Starski over the spooky beat. I’m sorry, what? Why? This song is fucking nuts.

Apparently, looking at the 45 sleeve above, you’ll note the record came complete with a “Free Black Hole,” ya know, for all the “time-shift special appearances.” I guess at least they tried to justify this nonsense with some kind of acknowledgement. Not sure if that makes it more or less weird, though.

So take a drive out to Amityville. You know, the house on the hill. You just make a left, then you make a right and……Amityville!

 

Audio

House on Haunted Hill

TRACK #142:

House on Haunted Hill by The Ghastly Ones

I love House on Haunted Hill. It’s my favorite William Castle outing, with maybe The Tingler taking a real close second.

It’s great. I love it. I have since the 1st  time I saw it over 25 some odd years ago on Halloween night. It even managed to sneak it’s way into my DVD player again last Hallow’s Eve, the slippery bastard. Wasn’t even thinking about it before it crept in.

Similarly, I love surf music. I have since I heard my dad’s old crackly LP of Telstar probably 30 some odd years ago.

What do these 2 seemingly unrelated loves have in common? Why it’s the Guys from Van Nuys again bringing 2 of my favorite things together as only they can.

For lack of a better term, Surf music has always been a rather incestuous scene. With modern Surf bands no doubt cutting their teeth shredding through old Ventures‘ tunes, Dick Dale licks and smooth grooves from The Shadows. It seems a rite of passage to add your own flare to a tried and true Surf standard. No Surf album, old or new, is complete without at least one cover of a classic or even more obscure number. Hell, most of the time there’ll be more than just one, rest assured.

Even the old timers did in their day. Sure the songs weren’t old then, but they passed them around all the same. It’s no surprise to find the same song recorded by 3 or 4 different bands, sometimes more. What is surprising, sometimes, is to find out who actually cut it first.
Such is the case with our next tune, a track I thought for years was a Ghastly’s original. How could it not be? Oh my surprise some years back when at my local CD Trader I ran afoul an interesting 3 CD set entitled “Halloween Nuggets: Monster Sixities A-Go-Go,” comprised largely of songs hitherto unknown to the Shindig. Needless to say we were sold, but it was a curious track on disc 3 which really sealed the deal.

House on Haunted Hill? By Kenny and The Fiends? Holy shit. There’s another song about House on Haunted Hill?

Here’s my money Mr. Used CD man. Thank you very much.

What happened next was a mixture of both delight and disappointment all wrapped up in the same strange smirk. Yes, there was a song about House on Haunted Hill. Well, sort of. A funky instrumental it was, which while a bit disheartening, quickly inspired a Myers-esque head tilt. This song sounded familiar. Holy shit! This is The Ghastly One’s House on Haunted Hill! Those fiends!

The Shindig didn’t find a new song that day (well, not that one anyway) but it did gain a renewed appreciation for an old Shindig mainstay, a renewed love for a favorite band and a little elucidation on the age old art of the Surf Cover.

True to form, the Ghastly’s dry brush their own green twang onto this old Aurora-fashioned go-go surf-spookster and keep the tradition alive.

However, surf lacks the, shall we say, lyrical content to truly bring the ideas together beyond a simple title and a little atmosphere. Sounds like a sample lovers dream, and the Shindig is always up to that challenge.

So at number 142, Kenny and the Fiends via The Ghastly Ones and William Castle via Halloween Shindig, submitted for your audio pleasure…House On Haunted Hill.

Are you ready, dear?

 

Audio

The Haunted Mansion Theme

TRACK #141:

The Haunted Mansion Theme by Buddy Baker & Xavier Atencio

I’ll start this off with the perhaps blasphemous admission (particularly considering my Southern California residence) that I have never been to Disneyland. I’ve heard every reaction, so feel free to engage in whichever one comes most naturally to you.

It goes without saying then, that I have also never been on The Haunted Mansion ride. Though, if I were to visit the happiest place on earth, it would probably be for the explicit purpose of doing just that.

I have, however, heard its theme song an innumerable amount of times and it’s pretty damn Halloweeny, so I would be rather remiss to omit it from a playlist such as this.

There’s a lot of great voice talent on display in this old, fun tune from the 50’s. It’s great to think a song this old still plays in the halls of The Mansion some 60 odd years since its inception.
In a world that perpetually moves on, upgrades and reboots, it’s just nice to know Eddie Murphy isn’t cackling his way through some Rick James produced ghost-rap. Though honestly, having just type this out, that actually sounds pretty fucking awesome. But the Mansion is still better off without such nonsense, regardless of how much I desperately want to hear that song now.

I’ve collided the tune with the ride’s own spoken intro for a little extra spookiness. So grab a hatbox, your death certificate and don’t close your eyes! It’s time for Disney’s Haunted Mansion!

 

Haunted House Rockin’

Is there a more played upon idea in Horror than The Haunted House? Maybe vampires. I dunno, I don’t have those kinda figures on me.

What I do know is there’s a shitload of Haunted House movies. What’s more, there’s a shitload of songs about Haunted Houses. From Monster Raps to Shock! Theatre era novelties, all the way up to horror punk and even surf, no genre represented on The Shindig has given up the chance to tangle with a Haunted House, so popular is the locale.

And why not? Spooks and specters, creepy basements and shitty crown moldings all await you through a squeaky-hinged door. Maybe a chandelier will fall. Maybe a trap door will open. Maybe a secret passage will unlock some chamber of horrors previously unimagined.
You’ll definitely hear something sinister as you try to sleep and someone will undoubtedly suggest that it’s…just your imagination.

Likely someone has died there, or is at least buried on the property. And if it has occupants, then some ghoulish butler will greet you, informing you the master of the house will be down shortly to…have you for dinner.

It could be a count or some other nobleman of questionable moral fiber. Maybe a mad scientist owns the estate, or an entire family of horribly deformed weirdos with poor social skills. Either way, it looks like a bad idea from the outside and that becomes wildly apparent once inside. Most probably you will not be allowed to leave until the baptismal light of day.

As you may be aware, The Shindig loves blocks. They feel good. A little theme-within-a-theme never hurt nobody. Maybe bored a few people, but that’s about it. So, with that in mind, here comes a mega block of Haunted House hits to knock your socks off. Or rock your socks off. Or maybe even scare them off.

Whatever your emotional reaction (and assuming of course you’re actually already wearing socks) chances are you’ll be sockless by blocks end.

So enter,…if you dare.