Trick Or Treat – what more can you possibly give The Shindig? Haven’t you given enough already? Surely there are no more Halloween delights under your thin candy shell.
Oh, but there is – a thick nougat center of Monster Rap awesomeness.
In between all the Fastway rocking of the Trick Or Treat soundtrack, tucked away so’s you might not even notice, is this curve-ball of horrific proportions. From 80’s Hip-Hop maestros Whodini comes one of the finest Monster Raps featured on The Shindig, The Haunted House of Rock.
Played during the Halloween Dance sequence, just before Roger turns the speakers over to Sammy Curr’s backwards metallic cassette, Whodini rocks a rhyme about the monsters and mayhem taking place at the titular haunted abode.
What is this song doing on this soundtrack? What is this song even doing in existence? I don’t have an answer to either question, but in both cases I’m sure glad it is.
Succeeding in just about every way Lovebug Starski’sAmityville fails, The Haunted House of Rock features an actual Haunted House propagated by a multitude of real ghouls with no sign of any Starship Enterprise crew members in sight.
Amityville only outshines it for a brief moment when Dracula raps. That’s pretty huge and should not be ignored. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Amityville and it’s ridiculously unhaunted tale, but Whodini delivers the goods in way Starski only aspires to and they remain the champs of the Haunted Monster Party Rap game.
The Haunted House of Rock may even be the champ of the Monster Rap game in its entirety. But it does have some stiff competition.
If you Iike your Monster Raps a bit more specific, Are You Ready For Freddy might be your speed. If you like them a bit more ridiculous, then maybe The Maniac Cop Rap is the winner. Or if you like your Monster Rappin a bit more whack, then The Monster Squad is just what the doctor ordered.
But for my money, when it comes to legitimacy, Whodini is holding it down with this old-school hip-hop horror hit and its inclusion in Trick Or Treat just ups the ante.
I saw everybody there, except you. Let’s change that this year.
What Haunted House tour would be complete without a stop at a haunted whorehouse?
Here’s a psychobilly banger from The Nekromantix which has the guys reminiscing about the good old days, ya know when they got free blowjobs from weird creatures at this spooky brothel.
I lead the song in with a clip from Blood Sisters, Roberta Findlay’s late-era slasher where some sorority sisters are challenged to spend the night in…a haunted whorehouse!
With Roberta’s name and the plot outlined above, you’d be forgiven for thinking you were getting into some top-notch 80’s slash-sleazery. Unfortunately, you’d be mistaken, and probably fairly disappointed by this scavenger hunt, genre mash-up which delivers little in either haunted house chills or hack-n-slash thrills.
It’s not even terribly sleazy either, which is a pretty hefty sin for a movie about a haunted whorehouse where a bunch of sorority girls are having a sleep-over.
Oh, well. At any rate, here’s The Nekromantix describing a house which would have been much cooler than the one we get to see in Blood Sisters.
Though they share titles, I’m not entirely convinced Blitzkid was inspired by the film Terror in the Haunted House to write this upbeat spookster.
See, Terror in the Haunted House doesn’t really take place in a Haunted House. I suppose House on Haunted Hill doesn’t really either, but it at least it pretends to. Terror in the Haunted House doesn’t even do that.
What it does do however, is attempt to bug you out with a bunch of subliminal messages and images cut into the movie. They called this gimmick “Psycho-Rama!” which sounds way cooler than it actually is.
The look of these messages is pretty goofy. They’re actually kind of distracting and not at all effective. Take a look. I’ve slowed them down for optimum perception!
Not so spooky. Hell, the later ones seem pretty aftermarket. Particularly this red snake one, instructing you to “Rent Rhino Videos Everyday.”
Yeah, pretty sure prints didn’t ship with that message in 1958.
No, Terror in the Haunted House is more like a psychological thriller than a horror, and not an entirely ineffective one at that. A bit silly sure and no doubt more than just a little Castle-esque, but it is occasionally somewhat sinister and intriguing.
Mostly though, it’s just a snoozer. And with the absence of any fun ghosts or phantasmic goings-ons, 100% missable.
So, let’s just enjoy this spooky spin from Shindig All-Stars Blitzkid. It’s shorter and a lot more fun.
Return of the Living Dead Part II gets a bad rap. Granted, it’s pretty well deserved, but it gets a bad rap all the same.
Honestly though, in its defense, it had a full count walking to the plate: take one of the most beloved, successful and awesome zombie horror/comedies ever, which wraps itself up pretty fucking tightly and expand on it. Go!
Yeah it strikes out, but that was to be expected. At least it doesn’t get caught looking. It goes down swinging.
It’s never very dark or scary or serious (as the trailer led people to believe) nor is it ever terribly funny. Comedy is tricky and when it face-plants, it does so hard and loudly. It’s not quite as cringe inducing as its equally I’ll-advised contemporary, C.H.U.D. 2, but unlike its counter part you at least feel like your watching an honest to god sequel, despite how shitty that sequel may be.
One thing Return of the Living Dead Part II gets sort of right is the music. While nowhere near the iconic status of its predecessor’s, there’s some good tunes to be had on this soundtrack. Whether it’s Anthrax or Leatherwolf or this turn from Joe Lamont.
Being that this really the only thing the Shindig ultimately concerns itself with, Return of The Living Dead Part II gets its day.
Since our Halloween movie countdown is focusing on Halloween sequels, let’s keep the sequel soundtrack train rolling over here with a tune from an actual Halloween sequel.
If you’re a C.H.U.D. fan, a horror fan or even just a normal person trying to sit down and watch an enjoyable movie, C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. doesn’t have a whole hell of a lot to offer you.
If you’re Halloween Shindig, a blog centered around a Halloween Playlist which encompasses all types of random nonsensical horror-related music from the movies, suddenly C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. has something quite fantastic to offer.
And that thing is out next number, by-liner title track Bud The C.H.U.D. from Kipp Lennon.
Who the hell is Kipp Lennon?
That’s a great question. Apparently he’s a founding member of the folk group Venice. Yeah, I’d never heard of them either.
However, it appears he’s also the voice behind mental patient Leon Kompowski who believes he’s Michael Jackson in the Simpsons episode “Stark Raving Dad.” As such, he’s the guy who sings “Happy Birthday Lisa.” That’s pretty weird.
Seems he’s had a handful of gigs impersonating Michael Jackson’s voice. He doesn’t do that here unfortunately, presumably using his natural God-given sound to accentuate all the incredible lyrics Bud the C.H.U.D. has to offer.
Outside of this track, C.H.U.D. IIis a rather harmless, if mildly entertaining tangent to the original C.H.U.D. It also takes place during Halloween and features a pretty great Halloween party sequence (a staple) and some fun trick or treating.
Compared to some of the junk featured on The Return of the 31 Days of Halloween Horror list, you can do a lot worse this season theC.H.U.D. II.
So, if you’re feeling festive and silly, pop it on and you’ll be treated to this fun 80’s tune from Kipp Lennon.
Since everyone got so pissed off this summer about the Ghostbusters remake, and even more pissed off about the new song by Fall Out Boy ft. Missy Elliot (definitely not featured on the Shindig), I thought we’d take a look at another Ghostbusters Theme reiteration that surely pissed off purists in its day.
I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again, but when it comes to Monster Raps, no movie’s got that shit on lock like Ghostbusters 2.
A prime example of this is Run D.M.C.’sGhostbusters, which (as sacrilegious as it may sound) I actually enjoy a little more than Ray Parker Jr.’s seminal theme.
Don’t get me wrong, Ray’s original Title Track is an unrivaled classic, both for Halloween playlists and just generally speaking. It also serves as the basis for Reverend Run and Co.’s sonic sequel. This jam however is way less played-out, awesomely 8o’s in its own distinct way and just plain old fashioned ridiculous in the best way possible.
Sampled up with tons of clips of the boys bustin’ and schillin’.
Fred Krueger the myth or Fred Krueger the man? It doesn’t matter cause they’re still rappin’ bout him, understand?
The lesser heralded of the 2 official Freddy rap songs, I feel Are You Ready For Freddyis superior to Nightmare on My Street for several good reasons:
It’s The Fat Boys and they’re cooler than Will Smith any day of the week.
It’s officially from a Freddy movie (Part 4: The Dream Master)
It’s less generic about it’s Freddydom, as multiple Elm Street films are referenced and sampled.
It actually features Robert Englund rapping as Freddy, as opposed to whoever the hell is rapping on the DJ Jazzy Jeff track.
2020 Update to this bullet point!
According to Hip-Hop Historian Werner Von Wallenrod, the Freddy inA Nightmare on My Streetis actually Ready Rock C! So that’s pretty cool.
Additionally, it is Werner’s assessment this is NOT Robert Englund rapping on TheFat Boy’s track. While my instincts tell me this is Englund, due not only to his appearance in the video, but also the almost unmistakable quality of this Freddy voice, Werner has a compelling basis for his assertion.
It seems no pressing of this track actually credits Robert Englund as being a performer. Now, one might be inclined to think Robert would certainly be credited, if not even require being credited, if this was, in fact, him. Case in point: the 1987 album Freddy’s Greatest Hits 100% credits Robert Englund as providing the Freddy voice. In fact, it goes so far as to credit him as “the creator” of that voice. Robert probably has something of this nature dialed right into his contract, no doubt.
That album, being released a full year before Are You Ready for Freddy, sets a pretty clear precedent. The 12″ single for Are You Ready for Freddy and the The Fat Boy’s album, Coming Back Hard, which features the song, both include a special thanks to “Freddy Krueger.” But, that isn’t terribly compelling.
Wikipedia, which also isn’t necessarily compelling on its own, does credit Robert Englund as performing the Freddy voice. However, that article is itself citing a Rolling Stone article on the lawsuit between Jive Records and New Line Cinema regarding A Nightmare on My Street. Again, not super compelling, but that is Rolling Stone, for whatever that’s worth.
I think Werner has a good point, and there doesn’t seem to be much out there to roundly disprove his theory. In my heart, I think I want to believe this is Robert, so I’m clinging to the idea that it is. But the truth is still out there, and you better believe if I ever see Robert Englund again at Monsterpalooza, I’m definitely asking him that shit.
Now back to our regularly scheduled post!
And if that wasn’t enough, lines like
“With a hat like a vagabond
Standin’ like a flasher
It’s Mr. Big Time, Fred Krueger
Dream crasher”
make all the difference in the world.
Freddymania is in full swing here in 1988 and the series has finally degraded into pure schillery. Freddy is a trade-able commodity now, like pork bellies or silver. He starts hitting the talk show circuit, making music video appearances and hanging out in the windshield of cars.
I actually own this, and it’s fucking awesome.
A double-edged sword no doubt, as it’s exactly this kind of boardroom buffoonery that gives us such an awesome track as Are You Ready for Freddy (and my equally awesome sun-shield.)
But in terms of the movie, well viewers paid the price. Freddy’s crackin’ wise, sportin’ sunglasses and eatin’ pizza like some damned Ninja Turtle. Ceasing to be at all frightening and with the cleanest sweater I think he’s ever worn, Freddy’s less your dirty old dream diddler and more your pal. Hell, he’s brought back from his “grave” by the fiery urine of Kincaid’s dog Jason. Yeah, it sets up its jackassery early and securely.
But I enjoy The Dream Master for much the same reason I enjoy Freddy’s Dead: I love Freddy as a character (either scary or silly) and it’s just a ridiculous piece of horror film making.
Plus it has this song.
Which, interestingly enough, has an alternate version. There was a second, longer version of the track cut for the 12″ single. What? Now that’s the kinda shit The Shindig lives for.
So why isn’t that the featured track? Well, to be honest, I don’t like it as much. It’s a bit slower, the beats a little different and there’s a bunch of extra incidental sounds tossed all over it. It’s kinda weird.
Plus, it cuts out Freddy’s original rap at the end! What?! You get an alternate, almost spoken-word outro from The Dream Crasher, which is fun but just isn’t quite the same.
However, it does feature some pretty fantastic extra verses in the middle where The Boys detail the plot from the original Elm Street and talk about Freddy more. And there’s more samples from the original Elm Street thrown in for good measure. Bonus.
That’s it. That’s pretty much all there is to say.
I’m gonna say more, naturally, but I thought it was worth noting that that’s all anyone really needs to say.
“Thriller. That’s what’s next.”
“Oh, ok. Sure. Of course it is.”
If anyone at your party has a reaction any less than the one I’ve described above, they don’t deserve to be celebrating Halloween. Take their mask, steal their candy and egg them back to the Stone Age.
The last time I checked (which was yesterday) Thriller was still the biggest selling album of all time. What? That’s crazy. It’s 33 years old, how is that still true? It’s cause it’s Thriller, that’s why.
For no mere mortal can resist…and so on and so forth. Probably some horrible music industry warlock bullshit, you ask me. Stick that into your Google and search it.
But I digress.
Thriller’s reach far extends that of the horror genre, Halloween or this playlist. It literally extends to just about anyone who ever lived on this planet during the last 33 years and has functioning ear drums. That’s how huge it is. It’s the biggest thing on this playlist. It’s the biggest referential track ever recorded. How? How was such a niche song this fucking huge?
Well, I’d say it’s more the album than the song itself. Both Billie Jean and Beat It trump it in the singles department, no question. Thriller itself never hit number 1, staying in the Billboard 100 for 14 weeks but topping out at number 4.
You could make an argument for Ghostbusters being a bigger hit, as it was legitimately a number 1 record. But I’d say that’s about it. Nothing else comes close. Though as much as I love Ray Parker Jr.’s Title Track (definitely the biggest Title Track ever recorded) it’s not quite Thriller. Though both were contemporaries that changed the way music was conceived, created and sold, Thriller still has a little something extra. That extra is no doubt Michael Jackson. Though that’s to say nothing of the video, revolutionizing the young media form and setting a standard I still think has yet to be matched.
From Rick Baker’s werewolf transformation to his zombies, to the choreography, to the eerie quality with which John Landis imbues the whole proceedings. It’s unmatched and a Horror fan’s dream video.
And it scared the living shit out of me as a kid. Having greater access to the Thriller video than most horror movies, it absolutely haunted me. The werewolf transformation was an initial jolt. Then Michael suddenly becoming a zombie just fucked me up. What!? He was just singing to her, now he’s a zombie?
Though even more terrifying was that once the music stopped, the horror movie started. The girl taking refuge in the abandoned house and Michael and his zombie horde busting through every inch of it to get at her. He was just Michael Jackson! They were friends! Now he’s trying to kill her! That level of broken trust rocked my young mind.
Ah, but it was all a dream! There’s Michael. “What’s the problem?” He asks. A sigh of relief washes over me. It’s all ok.
But then, the absolute kick in the nuts. Finally, once I feel at ease again, there he is, turning around and looking dead at me with those fucking werewolf eyes. Holy shit….it’s not ok. Freeze frame. And a child’s nightmares were born. It still sends a little shiver up my spine every time I see it, all these years later.
The 3D Viewmaster I had as a kid didn’t help either. Remember Viewmasters? They looked like this:You held it up to the light and clicked through a wheel of stereoscopic photos.
We had a giant, Talking Viewmaster that looked like this: It was cool pretty cool. The wheels were larger, scan-tron like cards and had audio accompaniment. For this Talking Viewmaster, we had this:
A few Christmas’ back, my mother had pulled the old boy out for my nephews to play with. I hadn’t seen it in years. I immediately recalled my youthful terror and scrounged for the Thriller cartridge. I needed to see it; the image that haunted me all my life.
Sure as shit it was there. And sure as shit, it still gave me the creeps. Holding it up to the light, I perched my phone as close to the eyepiece as possible. I needed to capture this.
Holy shit.
As an adult, It’s obvious to me that Ola Ray and Michael are clearly having fun and chuckling to themselves while taking these photos. Fright is at a minimum, but damn it if that wasn’t the scariest shit I ever saw when I was 7. I had to flick passed. Nope. Couldn’t handle it. Still trips me out. But anyway, back to the actual song. Of course you have Vincent Price, adding his singular voice and an air of authentic late-night 50’s horror double-feature flair to the entire affair. That mixed with the lyrical references and allusions all wrapped up it a supremely dance-able 80’s rhythm that no mere mortal can resist.
Each one of these facets gives Thriller its collective undefinable quality. And it’s a quality that all understand, as everyone at your party is about to dance. Seriously. I don’t care who they are or what they’re doing; drunk, high, tired, newly arrived, mid-conversation, about to leave, taking a piss – don’t matter. Just watch your guests, this song comes on and people flip the fuck out. It might take a second for everyone to register what’s happening, but once it does, that’s the ballgame, jack. Maybe it’s all that warlocking.
Leaving this one off your Halloween playlist is absolutely unconscionable. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that If you asked 10 random people on the street for just 1 song they associate with Halloween, I guarantee every one of them will name Thriller.
Since we all know and have just addressed with whom you’d contact over telephone wires should it become apparent that you in fact have harmful apparitions approaching, let’s task listeners with a similar question:
Yeah, but who do you call when you have Monsters?
That’s right. And at last we come to The Monster Squad. From the very first CD in 2002, The Monster Squad has been a permanent fixture of Halloween Shindig and remains one of my favorite selections on the playlist.
Granted, I may be a bit biased but this song is representing hard. Let’s check the stats:
Is it about a horror movie?
Check, it’s about the goddamn Monster Squad.
Ah, yes, but is it in the movie?
In it? Motherfucker, it’s the Title Track. Triple check that shit.
We talkin’ bout Monsters?
Fuck yeah we are. It’s like a goddamn monster mash up in this motherfucker. Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, the Wolfman, the Mummy, the Creature from the Black Lagoon. That’s the big five, son. Throw in some sexy vampire chicks, a grotesque bat transformation and a werewolf exploding out of the sky and you’ve got some real monster shit on lock. Check + to Monster Song.
What more could you ask for? Well, they even mention Halloween too. Sure, it’s to illustrate how this ain’t Halloween (or some phony deal) but we’ll just look that other way on that one. They say Halloween and damn it if that ain’t all that matters sometimes.
Now all of that sounds like a Referentially Inclusive Monster Halloween Title Track to me, gang.
And it’s a Monster Rap to boot? Holy shit, is there anything this song can’t do?
One of the most ridiculous tracks you can imagine, The Monster Squad was suspiciously recorded by some anonymous collective of Hip-Hop Demigods that chose to remain nameless. What?!
Why the hell anyone would elect to do this is so far beyond the scope of my imagination it boarders on madness. If I was responsible for this song I’d put it on every job application I ever filled out.
2 years as an Assistant Hanger Inspector for Sears and Roebuck.
4 months as a Substitute Wigsmith at The Downtown Clownery.
Oh yeah and I wrote the motherfucking Monster Squad Rap. What’s up?
From a time when everyone thought something like this was a really great idea, The Monster Squad (for anyone thinking otherwise) is a really great idea.
It’s is pretty whack? Yeah, I guess so. If you wanna be a jerk about it.
Is it poorly conceived and equally executed? Yeah, I suppose I’d have to concede that fact too, if you really want this to be a frank discussion about musical integrity.
But fuck that discussion and fuck you for wanting it pal, cause this song fucking rules. It’s a rap song about a group of kids fighting The Universal Monsters. Oh, did you not catch that? It’s a rap song about a group of kids fighting The Universal Monsters. Whomever is responsible for this song should be a cultural icon. They should have a fucking Grammy and an Academy Award.
Instead, (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing took the honor that year. All right, fair enough. Maybe that’s a better song, but it lacks the lyric:
“We don’t wanna hang with the walking dead, so we gotta kick some monster butt instead.”
What’s up now, Academy of Arts and Sciences?
Looking into this travesty further, I discovered the competition that year was actually pretty stiff. Check this shit out:
“Storybook Love” by Willy DeVille and Mark Knopfler from The Princess Bride
Damn, that’s a solid 80’s line-up right there. Maybe I spoke too soon. Still, it should have been nominated at the absolute least. Who the hell is still talking about Cry Freedom 26 years later?
No one, that’s who.
But I digress.
An interesting side note to this song: the original version I had on the 2002 CD was pulled from my old VHS copy of Monster Squad. Incidentally, this was later signed by Tom “The Gillman” Woodruff Jr. Coincidence? I like to think not.
This version of the song contained the line:
“First came Dracula, now the Wolfman too, The Mummy and the Gillman swimming in the pool.”
What? Why did that roll call just fall the fuck apart?
Hear that sample below:
I always thought this was a pretty strange and horrendous line, particularly when they could have just as simply said “and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.”
But I guess they couldn’t say “and the Creature from the Black Lagoon,” for the home video release. Damn copyrights.
All things considered, that’s not a bad save. Syllabically sound, it even sort of rhymes, at least no more or less than the original false rhyme. But damn is it silly. Who the fuck is the Gillman? Why are they calling The Creature from the Black Lagoon “The Gillman?” And why is he in the pool? Did I miss a scene where he climbs out of a pool? Why did he just say that?
Upon upgrading the tune for better quality many years later when The Monster Squad finally saw a DVD release, I noticed the line was suddenly changed to “and the Creature From The Black Lagoon” and I thought “Shit, that must have been the original lyric. How about that.” Now, I just feel sort of nostalgic for the old, butchered scab.
But I’ve spoken too verbosely about all of this as is, so let’s just make with the goods, huh?
One of my favorite songs on the playlist from one of my favorite movies of all time. Here it is….The Monster Squad.
Is there a more well known or loved Title Track than Ray Parker Jr.’sGhostbusters? Probably not. Which explains why you’re guaranteed to hear it multiple times around Halloween and The Shindig is obviously no exception.
A certified hit, Ghostbusters spent 3 weeks at #1 on the Billboard charts in August of 1984 and it’s no wonder. This catchy number is spooky, danceable and unrelentingly 80’s.
And the video, one of the first cross-media promotional blitzes of its kind, is something to behold. With Ray creeping it up in a weird, minimalistic, neon house, The Ghostbusters themselves dancing down Broadway with him and a collection of the most bizarre cameos ever assembled, it’s pure Reagen-Era cheese.
Seriously, what the fuck is Peter Falk doing in the Ghostbusters video? Chevy Chase, John Candy, Al Franken, hell even Danny Devito all make some sort of sense. But then up pops Columbo and what the fuck? Yeah, it’s pretty 80’s.
The song itself wasn’t something Ray Parker’s people were at all interested in having Ray sing. Keep in mind, the movie wasn’t even released yet, much less a success.
“So wait, you want our smooth, panty droppin’ Ray Parker Jr. to sing about fuckin’ ghosts for,…what’s this fuckin’ thing called again? ‘Ghostbusters?’ Yeah, that ain’t happening, pal. You can take a hike with that business.”
It’s an understandable reaction. But Ivan Reitman managed to convinced old Ray it’d be a hit and damn it if the guy wasn’t right on the money. The popularity of the movie and this song are completely unmatched.
Now, indelibly woven into the fabric of American pop culture, I’m not sure anyone can ever utter a phrase even close to “who you gonna call?” without some dickhead shouting “Ghostbusters!”
Yeah, that same phrase everyone probably thought sounded pretty stupid before the film blew up like 2 tons of marshmallow all over 1984.
But when something’s this big, people start to pay attention. Maybe a little too closely.
First and foremost you have Huey Lewis suing Ray Parker because he reckoned Ghostbusters sounded a bit too much like I Want a New Drug for his liking. A settlement was reached that Ray still isn’t at liberty discuss on record.
Then you have The Screen Actors Guild getting all bent outta shape due to these cameos and the non-unionized status of the fledgling music video industry.
There’s also a copyright issue regarding the video which has kept it off every subsequent home release of the film, nearly causing the video to be lost forever. Chalk another one up in the win column of the Internet for that.
And still further, there’s even more nonsense over the title with subsequent animated versions of The Ghosbusters, but we’ll delve into that one a little further down the playlist.
For now, let us and your guests revel in what is perhaps the most popular and crowd pleasing song The Shindig has to offer.
Shindig All-Stars Blitzkid are back and whaddya know, they’re singing about an 80’s horror movie.
This time Hellraiser is their pleasure (sir) and we’ve spiced it up with a hefty dose of Pinhead’s verbose bullshit to really make it feel at home.
So come on, solve the easiest puzzle box/portal to ungodly horrors that ever existed.
Seriously, they couldn’t have made that fucker a little trickier to crack? Nothing that contains that much crazy shit should be that easy to just accidentally open by rubbing your thumb across. Jeez guys.
The Ramones (b) + Horror Title Track (htt) = Shinding Gold (sg).
And I don’t care what hardcore Ramones fans thought or what The Golden Raspberry Committee had to say on the matter, my equation is airtight.
And just like any good equation you could substitute a lot of bands for that b variable and still get the same value or greater.
Dokken? Check.
45 Grave? Check Plus.
J Geils Band? Double Plus Good.
It’s math. It just works. Numbers don’t lie. And when Joey, Dee Dee, Johnny and Marky set their sights on Stephen King, the result was a horror hit for the ages. Haters be damned!
Stephen King likes to name drop songs in his novels, particularly Ramones songs and Pet Sematary is no different, as Blitzkreg Bop plays heavily into the story.
I believe the story goes that the boys were approached by the producers for the inclusion of Sheena Is A Punk Rocker in the movie. Such fans of the novel were they that The Ramones simply offered to cut an original track just for the film. And not only that, but a Title Track to boot. Don’t know where I heard that, can’t confirm it but it’s in my head and why would I just make that up? Gotta be at least a partly true, right?
It’s one of the greatest Horror Title Tracks of all time performed by one of the greatest Rock ‘N Roll bands ever. The simplicity and raw power of The Ramones lends itself to perhaps the most cartoonishly straight forward song to ever accompany a horror film, or maybe any film for that matter. Though, there is Hard Ticket To Hawaii and The Stabilizer and thems some ridiculous ass Title Tracks.
So blow a raspberry at those Golden Raspberry farts and follow Victor to the sacred place.
So what do hot rods, racing, surfing and zombies all have in common?
Beats the hell outta me but they all come together in one helluva hammer droppin’, high-rev haulin’, outta sight asphalt eater from Ohio creepsters and Shindig All-Stars The Cramps.
Perhaps their most gracious addition to horror-rockdom, The Surfin’ Dead is prominently featured in Dan O’Bannon’s awesome 80’s zombie send-up The Return of The Living Dead.
While no slouch in the soundtrack department, I have to admit this is easily my favorite track off the album, no question. But I love me some Cramps so maybe I’m just a tad bit biased. Or maybe it’s just a great song.
Either way, it belongs on a Halloween playlist. Even a short one.
And just for good measure, Lux tosses in 2 shout outs to Cleveland’s pride and Cramps hoedad, Ghoulardi.
Cause your A-bone’s busted and you’re through the door, so do the dead
Great Pumpkins are few and far between, so to stick two so close together is indicative of the kind of block where in here toward the center of our hallowed playlist.
At last count there were four total; two tried and true Halloween Pumpkins, one Monster Song Pumpkin and another by way of Devilish Track. That’s the bases covered, doubly so in that The Monster Squad is also a Monster Rap.
This one though, this one is the gold standard. This is the one which inspired the category. This is the one by which all the others are measured, and even they fall short of the Shindiggery on display here. If the playlist had its own theme, it would probably be this song.
It’s not necessarily may favorite song on the Shindig (though it would definitely be up there), nor do I mean to suggest it is the best, but it’s so exemplary of what this playlist is all about that it beggars belief. Horror Movies, the music from them, the referential Rock ‘N Roll about them and of course Halloween, all succinctly served in a 4 minute sonic stew.
Is it any surprise that such a song should come from 45 Grave? Not to this guy it doesn’t, and when I first heard it back in 2010 my jaw dropped and I immediately shouted “Holy shit does this song need to be on the playlist.”
But because nothing could be that perfect, naturally, there’s a catch. In this case (and it’s perhaps a bit of my own prejudice rising to the surface) it is the caveat that the song is that comes from the the Night of the Demonsremake. Which is a solid soundtrack, to be sure, but a terrible remake. Moreover, it was a terrible movie in its own right. However, as a remake to one of my favorite Halloween movies of all time, it’s even worse.
So, to balance out that factor, I’ve book-ended it with samples from the original, because, how could I not? This song could have been on the original soundtrack. It should have been on the original soundtrack . So let’s just pretend it was.
And with that, 45 Grave and I invite you to drink, get stoned and party all night, for the demons come alive on Halloween.
What can be said of this classic and perfectly executed Title Track?
If you’ve ever seen Killer Klowns From Outer Spacethen you know first hand how nicely this clown-car 80’s tune from The Dickies bookends this awesome creature feature of camp from monster mavens The Chiodo Brothers.
Cheesy, gory, funny and at times even downright creepy (using a dead sheriff as a ventriloquist’s dummy or the sight of a Klown summoning a small girl from a burger joint come to mind) Killer Klowns was a movie I couldn’t get enough of in my youth. It frightened me, amazed me, made me laugh and held my full, undivided attention every time HBO decided to play it.
The Klowns are a marvel of animatronic suit work, the story is bonkers, and the music has got the tone to match. No Halloween playlist should be lacking Killer Klowns from Outer Space by The Dickies.
Good evening, horror fans. Did you know that all Title Tracks were not created equal?
The J. Geils Band did.
Let’s face it, while all Title Tracks are great, some (Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Don’t Go Into The Woods…Alone) are less awesome than others (The Devil’s Men,Leatherface.)
Hell, there’s even a hierarchy of applicability. The Maniac Cop Rap is less a Title Track than say Scream and Scream Again. Shocker is a truer Title Track than a by-liner like Dream Warriors. And then some Title Tracks simply define the category. Fright Night is just that type of Title Track.
A popular band of the time, almost inexplicably tapped by the producers to cut a song so unlike the rest of their catalog you wonder just how the hell it even works. But work it does. Fuck, it works a 70 hour week…taxed…with no overtime.
It works on Labor Day.
Or more appropriately, and perhaps more criminally,…
It works on Halloween.
And thank God for that, cause your Halloween playlist needs it. You’re Halloween needs in. Hell, your life needs It. Listen to it now, and then go watch Fright Night. I just did. It was a great decision.
From that 80’s realm of self-aware horror (somewhere between The Monster Squad and The Lost Boys) where characters versed in fictionalized horror find themselves face to face with that horror in the real world, Fright Night follows horror nerd Charlie Brewster as he attempts to prove his new next door neighbor is actually a terrifying creature of the night.
You got Chris (Prince Humperdink) Sarandon creepin’ up the joint as 80’s vampire benchmark Jerry Dandrige, Steven Geoffreys being his typical spazzy self as (you’re so cool) Brewster’s pal Evil, and Roddy McDowell just knocking it outta the park as the Cushing-modeled celluloid vampire hunter/ TV horror host, Peter Vincent.
Add to that a fantastic script which balances tone so effortlessly, plus some truly memorable visuals from The Entertainment Effects Group. Fresh off their stint on Ghostbusters, these guys provide another barrage of makeup and creature FX wizardry, not the least of which is one hell of a harrowing reverse werewolf transformation.
It all adds up to a genuine high point in 80’s horror that no fan should miss. A loving nod to the horror of yesteryear and that old Hammer feeling right in the midst of the 80’s slasher onslaught. Whats more? It resonated, made a shit ton of money and has endured immensely to this very day.
And the kicker? This awesome Title Track. So perfectly 80’s, so perfectly referential and so perfectly fitting. You can not fuck with this song.
Vampire Hookers; honestly I could have used a little more nudity.
Nathan “Unpainted” Arizona and I guy I thought was Michael Rooker for the about the first 20 minutes play a pair of bumbling greenhorn sailors on shore leave in the Philippines. At the local cemetery, they run afoul the pimp-hatted head vampire John Carradine and his titular hoes. Late 70’s porn music and goofball shenanigans ensue.
They’re trying, I’ll give ’em that.
It’s filled to the brim with silly slapstick and toilet humor that’ll probably set both of your eyes on a pivot, but it’s rarely boring, and at 78 minutes it feels pretty brisk and good natured.
Poor John Carradine though stumbles around waiting for a check, spouting Shakespeare and poetry, which could either be interesting or irritating depending on your temperament.
There’s also a fat Filipino familiar who farts a lot for comedic effect. Whether you laugh at his flatulence will also depend on your temperament.
Seen also is a ladyboy pissing at a urinal, which apparently doesn’t tip off old Nathan Arizona, who proceeds to engage in a sexual transaction. Later Michael Rooker yells “Oh God! Balls!” which is always funny to hear someone shout after grabbing a lady’s crotch.
A few silly fistfights later and where onto the cemetery and our plot.
Though severely deficient in the generalized sleaziness and nudity you’d expect for a film called Vampire Hookers, you’re eventually treated to a 7 minute slow-mo vampire 4-way between Michael Rooker and the 3 sex-starved immortals. Thankfully, John Carradine bows out of that one, but the fat familiar watches and farts a bit. Probably jerks off too, couldn’t really tell and thank god for cinematic ambiguity. It’s pretty awesome though, complete with its numerous and repetitious cutaways to the lascivious murals painted around the room of beasts and Devils fornicating. Who’s turn is it?
And that’s not even the best part of the movie.
That would be our next Shindigger at #105, the Title Track Vampire Hookers, played to rousing appreciation during the picture credits at the end of the films. I love picture credits! And Title Tracks! And hookers! What an ending. If only we knew who the hell was performing this tune.
It’s a Shindig first; an Unknown Artist! I searched endlessly to no avail, as I could not track down the culprits. If anyone happens to know who performed this tune, we’ll gladly update the entry.
“Blood is not all they suck,” informs our unnamed composer. The Skinemax orgy sequence tells a different tale, I’m afraid. However, I think it’s safe to assume some sucking has taken place regardless, one way or the other.
While never terribly funny, it is somewhat fun, particularly in a group setting and there’s plenty of worse ways to spend 78 minutes. Plus, those will typically end up sucking an extra 20 minutes from your life and still not have the goddamn common decency to give you the reach around of an awesome Title Track.
So, as far as The Shindig is concerned, Vampire Hookers, you’re all right. As Lord Summerilse might say “you will sit with the Saints, among the elect,” here in our Title Track-heavy center block.
He’s Back (The Man Behind The Mask)by Alice Cooper
In 1984, Paramount Pictutres made way too much money on Friday The 13th Part 4: The Final Chapterto let that truly be Jason’s final chapter. So they set upon quickly churning out a part 5. Only Jason was dead now,…for good,…right?
What’s a greedy production company to do?
So in 1985, Paramount quickly proceed to fuck right up. They essentially took the exact same model, delivered a by the numbers Friday installment, with Jason in a hockey mask and called it A New Beginning. Only they pulled the old Kansas City Shuffle. It wasn’t actually Jason. Fans were pissed.
Roy? Who the fuck is Roy? Seriously? This dude’s name is Roy?
Here’s Roy.
Fans didn’t cotton to old Roy here.
“But why?” You may ask.
“There’s a guy in a hockey mask brutally murdering teenagers at a summer camp. Isn’t that the point? Fuck, Roy kills 18 people for Christ’s sake! Jason ain’t puttin’ up those kinda numbers yet. Who cares who’s under the mask? It’s been a different actor, sometimes in the same damn movie, since part 2. Is it that important it be Jason Voorhees?”
Apparently so.
I’d say it’s a least somewhat important, if only to keep Friday the 13th from turning into a running Scooby-Doo gag. “Why it’s old man Burns, the guy who run’s that haunted ambulance!”
Plus, we always get a peak at Jason, and it’s usually fucking horrifying. Observe…
Maybe it’s a little important. No?
So, Paramount quickly swung in on a jungle vine for some damage control. In 1986 they unleashed Jason Lives and changed the entire franchise forever.
No more is Jason a mere mortal stalking the woods of Crystal Lake. He’s now a full fledged supernatural, unstoppable zombie killing machine.
No longer is the series a straight faced stalk-n-slash either. Tinges of satire, self parody and silliness have entered the Friday landscape.
Additionally this installment, while producing a sizable body count, is suspiciously lacking in the gore department. It’s also the only entry to feature no nudity. Fo reals?
But more importantly pop icons appear.
Enter Alice Cooper and his single He’s Back (The Man Behind the Mask) blatantly reassuring all the Friday Freaks that yes, he’s back. Yes, the man behind the mask, Jason. Don’t worry, we even put his name first in the title to placate all the jaded fans that may not come to suckle from our money cow’s teat.
Jason goes for a full blown team-up. Music videos, multiple songs, Fangoria spreads which give us such awesome images as this.
Thankfully, Jason didn’t take too many cues from Freddy, and remained silent. I don’t know if I could have handled a wisecracking Voorhees.
Despite its lighter tone and generalized Skynet-like self-awareness, Jason Lives is still a fine entry. Jason is still menacing, and there are some good kills, however neutered they may feel. It’s certainly not the poorest entry and it has a lot of style. It may just be one of the more entertaining of The Fridays, but that’s all up for debate, as that assessment depends largely on your temperament and what kind of Friday you prefer.
It remains perhaps my favorite of the post-zombie half of the series. It’s all downhill from 6, by degrees. I gotta lotta love for 7 though, so there’s some wiggle room with that declaration.
Pulling Jason Voorhees clear into the the mid-80’s, here’s Alice Cooper’s He’s Back (The Man Behind the Mask).
With perhaps the exception of Ray Parker Jr.’s Ghostbusters, no Title Track has as much standing as a legitimate hit than Dokken’sDream Warriors.
And why not? It was a great tune featured in a popular franchise hitting the height of its popularity, played by a popular band at the height of their popularity. Sounds like a formula for a hit to me.
It isn’t so overly explicit as to put-off non-Freddy fans or become regulated only to annual Halloween airplay. By that same token, it isn’t so vague as to be completely unrelated to the action onscreen. Perfect pop balance? Marketing genius? Lucky strike? Either way, whoever’s idea it was probably got a raise.
It’s also from arguably one of Freddy’s finest outting. While I’m inclined to side with original in almost every case (including the Nightmare series), many fans cite Part 3 as the best Elm Street installment, or at least their favorite. I’ll agree so far as to say this is Freddy’s best sequel, without question. I may love me some Freddy’s Revenge but I think Dream Warriorsis legitimately his best numbered go-round.
Cooler than 4, livelier than 5, more coherent than 2 and less stupid than 6, Dream Warriorshits the right wave of scary and goofy Freddy. He’s not quite the running joke he becomes from The Dream Master on. You see it brewing here, but he still has some shred of his former menacing self.
Also, with more ambitious effects, wilder sets and more imaginative dreams sequences than the previous installments, Dream Warriors is where the Freddy becomes Freddy; not just the horror icon, but the cultural icon. And Dokken has its hand in that too, no doubt.
After this, all bets are off; Late Night appearances, hit songs, window clings, his own television series, his own album – Freddymania is on.
Initially, Craven (back on board after his complete absence from the completely absentFreddy’s Revenge) intended this film to wrap up the entire saga. However, New Line made way too much bank on this outing to let Freddy rest quietly in his junkyard grave and proceeded to milk every last drop out of blood from the dream demon.
Interestingly enough, for this installment Craven also pitched the idea of Freddy coming out of the screen to torment the Elm Street actors in real life. New Line rejected that nonsense altogether. At least for another 6 years or so, until Craven got the go ahead to realize this plot in his true return to the series in the form of New Nightmare.
While it may have been interesting to see all of that played out earlier, Dream Warriors stands up just fine in its presented form.
So, come Weeners, we are bound together by our love of Halloween, Horror and Horrific Halloween Music. The Shindig is waiting for you. Listen now, cause maybe tonight you’ll be gone.
Here’s Dokken’s power ballad battle cry for the children on Elm Street.
One of my favorite horror movies of all time is The Wicker Man. It’s awesome. If you’ve never seen The Wicker Man, it comes highly recommended from Halloween Shindig.
Being part of what was referred to in the 70’s as Folk Horror, The Wicker Man follows Police Sargent Neil Howie as he investigates an anonymous tip of a missing girl on Summerilse, a secluded island off the coast of Scotland.
There, a small but jovial group of Celtic pagans are free to practice their religion unfettered by the prying eyes of a judgmental society. That is until devout Christian Sargent Howie starts poking his disapproving nose around.
It is slow burn horror at its finest with an unsettling sense of dread which mounts to one of the great reveals in horror history.
With effective turns from horror vet Christopher Lee as Lord Summerisle, Edward Woodward as Sargent Howie, plus a cast of creepsters as wide as the island, The Wicker Man isn’t your typical horror movie. Lacking gore, trite frights or largely any of the overt trapping of the genre, The Wicker Man‘s true horror is a psychological and social one that is both subtle and unnerving, and lingers long after the embers of its titular effigy fade.
It would double feature nicely with Dead and Buried, another creepfest about a small town of weirdos doing weird shit.
All that said, one of my favorite bands of all time is Iron Maiden. With Steve Harris’ unstoppable bass, the dueling harmonies of Adrian Smith and Dave Murray, Niko McBain’s thunderous percussion and Bruce Dickenson’s stainless steel vocals, they’re a heavy metal force for the ages.
So when these guys decided to cut a track about The Wicker Man, you know it’s a guaranteed Shindigger.
And though I like the studio version, it can’t hold a candle to the intensity of this opener from their Rock In Rio live album. Plus, it’s got that epic instrumental introduction, just perfect for overlaying this equally perfect sample.
So, come Weeners, it is time to keep your appointment with The Wicker Man.
