treat

Oct. 6th: Pet Sematary 2 (1992)

“Sometimes dead is better,”  Fred Gwynne’s Judd reminds us in the original Pet Sematary, and I doubt I’m the first (or even the 500th) person in the last 24 years to suggest this sequel should have just heeded its predecessor’s simple ethos.

But, from the grand and seemingly endless roster of unnecessary, forgettable and otherwise ill-advised horror sequels, Pet Sematary 2 isn’t the worst you could pull. It’s certainly not the best, but it’s definitely not the worst.

Buried underneath the rocks of its cliched continuation1, contrived plot mechanics2, goofball one-liners3 and general soul-lessness4, there rises an autumnal atmosphere that works pretty well for the season. Aided in no small part by a fun (yet all too brief) Halloween sequence at the Pet Sematary, where Edward Furlong hears the murderous tale of the Creed resurrections.

Some gory FX’s from Steve Johnson and a creepy turn from Clancy Brown make this Halloween treat a bit easier to scarf down though, even when Goose is trying to be a tough guy and John Conner is acting like idiot.

Plus, it ends with another Ramones song and that’s a pretty cool move just on its own.

I give it 1 fat Dracula and a Kurgan up,.. but a shitty knock-off Jason down. So I’ll hand it a comparative…

Designation: Treat

1  Hey, I’m a new kid in town. My mom just died and my dad’s a veterinarian…wink wink.

2  Why would you ever bury your asshole stepdad in the old Micmac grounds when your newly resurrected dog murdered him? It’s not like you’ll be in trouble. Look at the fucking corpse! You’re good. Clearly an animal did this…an evil zombie animal you resurrected by…BURYING IN THE OLD MICMAC GROUNDS! I get that the “ground” has a “pull” to it, but c’mon now. Lewis’ motivations are full of grief and guilt and sadness and loss. This is his dead son…ok, snap. This is his dead wife…but maybe he waited to long last time. It’s not a good idea, but its understandable. And why are zombie’s burying people there too? Are they trying to create a master zombie race? What the hell is going on here?

3  “Look’s like daddy got a boo-boo.”

4  See: film

Oct. 4th: Silver Bullet (1985)

Ya know, there’s nothing terribly Halloweeny about Silver Bullet. That’s ok though, because there’s nothing terribly Halloweeny about October 4th either, so it kind of works.

Silver Bullet does however feature the word “Halloween,” a jack-o-lantern, and the mention of trick or treaters. That’s about it. Sure, the entire climax takes place on Halloween (though technically, since Gary Busey says it’s almost 3am, it takes place on November 1st) but that climax isn’t all that steeped in Halloweeniness.

Unless of course you consider a giant fucking Werewolf blasting through the wall and starting some shit “Halloweeny.” Given the context, I kind of do. I might add that this is a horrifying thing to have happen to you on the Eve of All Saints. Rather festive as well, if I do say so myself.

Silver Bullet otherwise is a bit of a mixed bag . The performances are hit and miss, some moments have genuine tension while other feel a little silly. Carlo Rambaldi’s suit runs hot and cold as well. Sometimes the wolf looks great, sometimes not so great.

There are some pretty vicious scenes however, and the whole movie has that creepy sort of atmosphere that feels good on an chilly October night, all fog and small town Stephen Kingish.

Plus you got a drunken Gary Busey going mano y mano with a werewolf, Corey Haim on his rocket wheelchair getting run down by Big Ed Hurley, and Joe Cabot brandishing a Louisville Slugger named “Peace Maker.”

Despite its flaws, I still enjoy Silver Bullet. Maybe it’s the 80’s, maybe it’s the Gary Busey, or maybe I’m just soft on a movie that decapitates a dude in the first 2 minutes. Shit, toss in a lone Jack-O-Lantern why not. The Shindig’s game.

I’ll give it 1 Jack-O-Lantern and a Drunk Gary Busey up!

Designation: Treat!

 

Oct. 3rd: Deadly Friend (1986)

Ah Deadly Friend, one in a series of answers Wes Craven had to the question “Hey, why don’t you make another Nightmare on Elm Street film?” that didn’t really hit it off with critics or with fans. I’m not even sure this one found its legs on video or with the benefit of age, but it’s a movie I kinda dig all the same.

Mostly that has to do with BB, the Johnny-5-esque, artificially intelligent robot constructed by main character and boy-genius Paul. I love this fucking guy. He’s awesome and his voice and nonsensical dialogue are of the hilarious variety, performed as they are by Charles Fleischer, also known to the world as Roger Rabbit.

But on Halloween night, BB is destroyed by a shotgun wielding Mama Fratelli. Paul manages to save BB’s brain though and keep it for a rainy day.

That day soon appears when Sam, Paul’s next door neighbor (and object of his teen desires) is punched straight down some stairs by her dickhead father, resulting in her untimely death. What’s a budding young, love-struck mad-scientist to do?

Why he plays Frankenstein and steals her corpse, of course. He then implants BB’s CPU directly into Sam’s dead brain. How could that possibly go wrong?

While not Craven’s best, this troubled production rises above its studio and test audience tampering to become some sort of bizarre mishmash of gore, sci-fi and teenage romance that’s an (at least) interesting installment in his storied career.

It’s like watching Craven, the studio and the audience all duke it out on screen to make the movie as it’s unfolding, and the results are strange.

Is it what Wes intended? Doubtful. Is it what the studio wanted? Definitely not. Is it what audiences wanted? I dunno, but if the audience is The Shindig, we’re on board with this weirdness.

There’s not much Halloween in Deadly Friend, but that’s why we’re socking it so early in the month. There’s enough to be festive and the rest of the plot is just ridiculous enough to be an enjoyable 80’s sci-fi-horror-love-story-murder-bot romp.

Plus, Kristy Swanson is too much, lobstering-around in her robot state murdering people, not to have a good time.

I give it 1 flagrant foul and muttering robot up!

Designation: Treat!deadly-friend1

Oct. 1st: Kenny and Company (1976)

We’re gonna kick off the season and our countdown with this fun, non-horror Halloween debut from Mr. Phantasm himself.

Before Don Coscarelli, Michael Baldwin and Reggie Bannister stared down death in the form of an inter-dimensional undertaker with flying spheres, they tackled death in a much different way with a family movie framed (no doubt quite intentionally) by Halloween.

Kenny and Company is a good-natured, casual and often amusing tale where very authentic and (actually) young kids in the 70’s do a bunch a shit you’d never see kids doing in a family movie nowadays. They build stuff, daydream, play outside, trick or treat alone, get shot at, look at nudie mags and face bullies without intervention from a committee of concerned buttinskis.

It’s also a mediation on coming-of-age while learning about death that feels loosely parallel to Phantasm.

But most importantly to us, it’s all surrounded by Halloween, culminating in a lot fun hi-jinx and ambiance as the kids go trick or treating.

Starting off with a great animated pumpkin, the film makes no bones about its Halloween intentions, but it is not a film based on Halloween itself, but rather uses it to mirror death (and Kenny’s awakening to it); the age-old ending of the seasons.

There’s nothing scary or horrific about Kenny and Company, but it’s an entertaining glimpse into an America that no longer exists. It also provides plenty of festive imagery for an autumn evening, and heralds in the the month of October nicely.

For Phantasm fans it’s should prove especially interesting to see Michael (who’s quite good here as Doug) and Reggie being directed by Don outside of their usual Tall Man adventure.

This one gets 2 Jack-O-Lanterns, a Paper mache bear head and a Bill Malone mask up. Dig in!

Designation: Treat!