Audio

Vampira (1974)

TRACK #413:

Vampira by The Majestics

Speaking of Black Face…

Holy Jesus, that doesn’t feel good to type. Doesn’t feel good that there’s even call to type such a thing, but facts is facts.

There’s also a man singing here, which while not exclusively against policy this week (there’ll be others), singing that is about a Woman rather than by a Woman is definitely a bit less than. However, this is a Title Track, and for that we can make this exception.

Because it simply wouldn’t be Halloween over here at Halloween Shindig if we didn’t add some more Title Tracks to the mix.

Actually, now that I’m reading that back, I wanna cross reference this claim of mine. One moment please.

Ok, Nevermind. Apparently it can very much be Halloween over here at Halloween Shindig without any Title Tracks at all, as both 2018 and even 2023 featured no Title Tracks on the countdown.

Still, 11 out of 13 years ain’t a bad ratio, and it suggests that Title Tracks are kinda of a thing around here. And for anyone around here who’s been around here who knows the score knows that.

Tonight’s Title Track comes from a British film called Vampira, pronounced Vam-PEER-a as opposed to Malia Nurmi’s original horror host Vam-PIE-ra. Not sure why the writers decided to call the film that but pronounce it differently, particularly since by 1974 (even in England) Vampira would have been a known quantity. Perhaps that why they pronounced it different? But who knows with them Brits.

I guess Malia took no issue with them taking her name, regardless of pronunciation, as I could find no evidence to suggest she approached production or sued the production company over the rights to the moniker.

And that might just be because, generally speaking, the film is widely known by its overseas title, Old Dracula. To capitalize on Mel Brooks’ smash hit Young Frankenstein, they released this sucker stateside as Old Dracula, get it? Har de fuckin har.

Despite that poor attempt to sideline a perfectly good Title Track, the movie was originally released in the UK as Vampira and features this definite Title Track from The Majestics, so step off, ya Yanks!

Plot wise we have the Notorious Phantom, Mr. David Niven, playing an aging and lonely Dracula attempting to resurrect his long dead love, Vampira, using the blood of young Playmates. Seems he needs a special sort of blood and he’s just gonna invite all these Playmates to his castle for a photo shoot and weird Dracula party (where he pretends to be Dracula) and gets the playmates to sleep overnight.

It’s a solid plan, except that the one the playmates (incidentally, the one with the special blood) is also Black, so Vampira is resurrected as a Black woman.

Now of course this isn’t a problem at all if you’re not a total piece of shit, but this is a guy who has literally murdered thousands of humans so he can live, what’s a little casual racism on top? It might be hard for non-murdering not-pieces-of-shit to understand how naturally one might take to simple racism while regarding an entire species as sub-vampire.

This is compounded by the that fact that Vampira is played by the stunningly gorgeous Teresa Graves, who was very famous at this exact time for playing TV cop Christie Love on Get Christine Love. Readers might remember the scene from Resevoir Dogs where the gang wonders aloud about who played Christie love – you under arrest sugar! Well, Vampira played Christie love, that’s who

In addition to Niven and Graves, it being a British production and all, there’s definitely Hammer babes afoot. Here we have the gorgeous Veronica Carlson from Dracula Has Risen from the Grave and Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed anLinda Hayden from Taste the Blood of Dracula and The Blood on Satan’s Claw and that’s pretty cool. So big up there.

We also get Nicky Henson, whom you may remember from Witchfinder General and Psychomania, which is also a treat.

Thanks to the blog Denim Disco, where I’ve been lucky enough to find out about a number of different tracks, I can tell you the guy who wrote this also wrote the lyrics for Goldfinger, his name was Anthony Newley. And that singer? Despite The Majestics being a UK soul band, that’s American actor Clarke Peter’s whom you may now as Dectective Lester Freamon from The Wire.

So, let’s turn the mic over to a man, for a moment, as he does what so many men with microphones have done for as long as their have been microphones; sing the praises of a woman. In this case, the resurrected body of a bloodsucking Queen of the night named Vampira.

 

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Like a Fine Wine

 patricia-von-black

Can we all just sit here for a moment and appreciate how fucking gorgeous Maila Nurmi was even as she aged?

Seconded, and wholeheartedly at that.

Audio

Vampira

TRACK #62:

Vampira by Bobby Bare

The Misfits weren’t the only cats to sing about Vampira. In fact, they weren’t even the 1st.

Back in 1958, marginally successful country singer Bobby Bare recorded this ode to Ms. Nurmi.

Though not the impassioned and awesome tune Danzig and Co. deliver, this strange old ditty is surefire Shindig fodder all the same.

 

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Mistress to the Horror Kid

thismusicleavesstains:

The most famous and reproduced image from the Misfits/Vampira summit on April 17, 1982. It should be noted that even though Arthur Googy quit the band earlier in the week the drummer did fulfill the rest of his obligations for the Walk Among Us tour (which ended the same day Lodi’s finest met tv’s spookiest). Alas, Arthur was in no mood for Kodak moments such as this. L-R: Jerry Only, Vampira, Doyle giving the Jersey fist-pump, Glenn Danzig. Photographer unknown.

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The Misfits meet Vampira

thismusicleavesstains:

The Misfits meet Vampira, April 17, 1982, at Vinyl Fetish in Los Angeles. Touched by their musical tribute, the reclusive horror hostess stepped out of the shadows to thank the band at this meet and greet. Notably absent from these shots is Arthur Googy; the drummer quit the Misfits two days earlier following a donnybrook with Glenn Danzig over a McDonald’s cheeseburger. First photo, L-R: Doyle, Vampira, Jerry Only, Danzig; foreground head unknown. Second photo, L-R: Jerry, Vampira, Doyle, Danzig. These images were both printed in the Summer 1993 issue of Ugly Things and came from Jerry Only’s personal collection. Photographer unknown.

Audio

Vampira

TRACK #61:

Vampira by Misfits

If John Zacherle is the grandaddy of Horror Hosts, then Maila Nurmi is their mother goddess.

Back in 1954, The Vampira Show was the first program to feature a spooky host introducing (and mocking) old B-movies.

Though only on the air for about a year, Vampira’s mark on horror culture can still be felt today, particularly tooling around Tumblr, where her image is ever present.

And why not? As Mr. Danzig so succinctly puts it:

Two inch nails
Micro-waist
with a pale white feline face
inclination eyebrows to there
Vampira
Mistress to the horror kid

Vampira is the embodiment of the classic horror image. Young fangirls still want to be her, and young fanboys still want to be with her. And though nothing but a few old kinescopes exist of the short-lived program, Maila Nurmi’s legacy will forever live on with the genre.

Fittingly led in by Martin Landu’s oscar-bearing Bela Lugosi, exulting Ms. Nurmi’s appealing qualities to Johnny Depp’s irritated Ed Wood.

Go try on a sweater then, Nerd-o. Me and Bela here will just sit back with some morphine and enjoy the show.

 

Monster Talk: Horror Hosts

The Horror Host has been a beloved fixture of the genre for almost 60 years now. So ingrained are they in horror culture that even their parodies have slipped into iconography.

From a time when TV had no guide, DVRs and streaming video weren’t even the stuff of the B-grade sci-fi these horror hosts peddled. TV was a living thing, existing with or without your manifesting gaze. It was there, happening somewhere behind all the black. You needed only to turn it on an tune in to whatever it was offering, lest you miss out entirely.

So you waited.

Originally, Universal Studios offered a package of horror classics and worn out titles called Shock Theater to local TV stations for broadcast. The stations had weathermen, announcers and news anchors doubling as any number of ghoulish characters to present these frightening films of yesteryear.

The movies were often the subject of ridicule, and the focus became rather on the hosts themselves, their outlandishness and their skits. These shows found almost instant success, and America of the late 50’s, 60’s and 70’s loved these local fixtures. Many spawned several incarnations and are still remembered with great fondness in their hometowns.

As the Shindig enters its 2nd quarter, we’ll take a beat or two to pay tribute to those horror hosts immortalized in song.

Watch horror movies.

Keep America strong.

Stay sick

and Goodnight, whatever you are….

Pleasant nightmares and unpleasant dreams.