TRACK #152:

Aerobicide/Woman On Fire by Mary Hylan/Jill Colucci

For a certain type of 80’s horror junkie, Aerobicide might be a wet dream come true.

There’s a formulaic and totally telegraphed whodunit plot. There’s an impractical and ridiculously oversized safety pin as a murder weapon. There’s an awesome hard-boiled detective. There’s even awesomer private investigator played by 80’s cheeseball-badass Ted Prior. There’s cheap karate, a rake fight, nudity and no shortage of 80’s babes in workout gear getting physical.

But above all, there’s the absolutely relentless 80’s synth-pop soundtrack.

However, there are a couple injustices besetting this soundtrack.

Namely, it was never officially released. Why? This thing is great. And why hasn’t anyone resurrected  it yet? Where’s Death Waltz Records on this forgotten gem of a soundtrack?

There are rumors of promotional copies floating around that were release in ’84. It’s also said that all of the songs were released separately on 7″ vinyls by their various artists. Good luck finding any of those.

Secondly, and most unfortunately, the greatest of all these tracks is featured so briefly in the film it beggars belief. Worst of all, it’s the film’s Title Track. What? This isn’t the song played over the credits? This is the song that gets barely a minute of screen time so as we can’t even steal it properly? What cruel ruse is this?

Perhaps it can be explained by the inexplicable decision to retitle the film Killer Workout. Why would someone do such a thing? Is Aerobicide too high-concept? Too confusing? Similar to Land of the Minotaur, it’s not a bad title on its own, but when you compare it to Aerobicide, it’s no contest.

And because of that, this song should be all over this movie, or at the very least played during the credits. As a people, we need this whole song.

But, beggars can’t be choosers, so well provide what’s available of that track and just lead it into the aptly titled Woman on Fire by Jill Colucci, cause what else can we do?

On a side note, if you happen to find the voice of Jill Colucci sounds a bit familiar to you, it may be because she’s responsible for the theme to America’s Funniest Home Videos. Ok, that’s pretty weird.

For now, take what you can get and try to grab a copy of Aerobicide for yourself, which was finally made a whole lot easier last year when Slasher//Video released both a DVD and Blu-Ray of a video transfer.

Oh, and keep and eye out for this spray paint, which predates the film Death Spa by about 3 years.

Coincidence? I dunno, but these 2 would make for one heaving, sweaty double-feature.

There’s an 80’s horror fan reading this right now. Aerobicide is their favorite movie, they just don’t know it yet.

Is that reader you?

HUGE UPDATE! OCTOBER 2022!

It’s happened, Weeners. The impossible has occurred. The original soundtrack to Aerobicide has been dug up, brushed off, given a new pair of spandex and is out dancin’ in front of Rhonda’s Workout as we speak.

Thanks to the incredible sleuthing skills of Gilles Nuytens, this incredible soundtrack finally comes to life. He found them, I don’t know how, but he found them. He has apparently cleaned them up and remastered them a bit too, and they sound great. Not gonna lie, because I’ve been listening to the VHS versions for so many years, they sound a little weird; pitched a bit differently, have a slightly different tempo and sound…off. But they sound good and clean.

Gilles doesn’t quite have the full soundtrack yet, there’s still a few missing tracks, one of which appears to be Woman On Fire, so I can only update the Title Track on this double shot, but boy is that good enough for me. If and when the other songs are unearthed, you better believe this fucker’s getting the full Super Soundtrack treatment over here at The Shindig.

Having somewhat given up hope on this one, I had stopped actively looking for these tracks, imagining if they popped up, one of the big horror labels would release a pressing.

If not for the vigilance of Shindig follower Austin Popdan, we’d still be without this knowledge.

Thank you Austin, and thank you Gilles. Hearing the full version of this amazing Title Track was a fantastic moment of pure joy I was never sure I’d experience. We hope all you Shindiggers enjoy it as well.

Click below to hear…and i never thought I’d say this…the full version of…

Aerobicide!