TRACK #214:

(I’m In Love With) The Creature from the Black Lagoon by Hans Conried & Alice Pearce

Long before Guillermo Del Toro won Oscars and appalled your Grandma by having a mute girl fuck a fish man, people have been musing about what it might be like to engage in some inter-species monster sex.

While not nearly as explicit, this old time ditty comes courtesy of an unlikely duo with whom you may be at least vaguely familiar.

For some reason (perhaps other than it seemed like a solid move in the late 50’s) comedians Hans Conried and Alice Pearce released the creature feature album Monster Rally. This classic Halloween LP from 1959 features tons of fun songs and another great album cover from the legendary Jack Davis.

Let’s take a moment here to just appreciate what an awesome artist and influence on horror imagery Jack Davis was. Here’s the full painting for the Monster Rally LP.

Now, if you’re a Bewitched fan, you may recognize Alice Pearce’s name and cadence, as she played nosy neighbor Gladys Kravitz to Samantha and Darrin Stephens. Here she is:

Though it doesn’t seem like Conried makes much of an appearance on this particular tune, Alice sings up a storm detailing a brief and heartbreaking affair with our titular lagoon lurker.

In the end though, he leaves her for a sexy young flounder that swims passed. It’s all a little sad, really.

Hans Conried probably just provides some background sound FX here, but I couldn’t say for sure. Whether present or not, Hans may sound familiar to you as he is not only the voice of Dudley Do-Right antagonist Snidley Whiplash but also Captain Hook in Walt Disney’s classic Peter Pan.

More significantly (at least to the Shindig) he was the voice of Dr. Dred on The Drak Pack, and is the narrator for The Dr. Seuss Halloween Special Halloween is Grinch Night. Pretty neat. Plus he cut a fun novelty monster album? This guy’s batting 1000 right here.

So let’s take another brief moment here, amidst all of the very wholesome fare, to enjoy this short number and imagine what monster we might like to have sex with.

I’ll take the entire cast of Hammer’s Vampire Lovers.

You can take Audrey II.