Welcome back Weeners, to the abundant musical bosom of Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives.
When we last saw Court and Vicki, they were being assaulted to the smooth sounds of Alice Cooper‘s Teenage Frankenstein.
But we’re gonna jump back in time here a bit, to just before Court starts bombing down Forest Green Drive in Horrace’s RV. It is here, in that same RV, that couple takes part in a time-honored Friday The 13th tradition – banging at Crystal Lake.
Of course, this is never a good idea when Jason’s on the prowl, which he most certainly is if we’re allowed access, but that has never stopped any of these promiscuous youths before.
Here’s the big guy as he tries to make heads or tails of this RV’s a-rockin’.
Providing the beat for that rockin’ is none other than Graduation Day’s own Felony.
Times have changed a little in intervening years though and they sound just a bit different. A little less Doobie Brothers and a little more Kenny Loggins.
Court just has to make it through the song here, and he’s home free. Vicki tells him it’s only 10 more minutes, which wouldn’t be far off if this was Gangster Rock. Fortunately for Court (and us,) it’s I’m No Animal, and it’s only 3 and a half minutes.
And for Court, it’s even shorter, cause Jason pulls the plug on this ugly-bump inside of a minute. Good call.
Understandably, Vicki’s a little freaked out by this. So, Court hits the gas and gets them speeding away from any trouble. Only Jason’s already stowed himself away on the RV, and now he’s just biding his time.
And we all know how that ends for them.
But Court and Vicki don’t. So, let’s allow them one final, blissfully unaware moment of lust before their Friday fates are sealed. And let’s let Felony set the mood.
Some songs that appear in horror movies aren’t referential. That’s OK. Some of the best songs on the playlist are purely inclusive. Fast As a Shark,Goo Goo Muck, Angel of Death. All great.
But sometimes they’re more than just not referential. Sometimes they seem totally out of place. But even that’s OK. Everybody But You, Computer Date, Love Is a Lie. Still good stuff. In fact, I’d argue they’re the backbone of this playlist.
Most often, you’ll get these if a band makes a surprise cameo in the movie, playing their tune live at a party or a school dance. Usually this is a nice treat, like Maria Videl in Once Bitten. Sometimes it’s a dirty trick, like The Offspring in Idle Hands.
And just as much might be the case with LA Rock outfit Felony, who are performing at the titular dance in the the film Graduation Day. Their song Gangster Rock seems just a little out of place.
But I get it. It makes plenty of sense that a band would perform a completely innocuous song that’s totally unrelated to the horrific goings-ons around them. Goings-ons of which they are completely unaware. It’s perfectly reasonable. Logically, I might even say it’s preferred. Why would a band, playing a normal Graduation Day dance be playing some spooky or otherwise horrifying jam?
But that’s inner logic. The outer logic is you’re a music supervisor and you should theme it up. And if you’re gonna hard pass on that, at least grab a better song than fuckin Gangster Rock. Which, while not the terrible (I mean, I am including it) is far from the best.
Classic rock fans will immediately note its flagrant similarity to a much more famous song called China Groove by the much more famous Doobie Brothers. Seriously, is this China Groove? It sounds exactly like China Groove. In fairness though, it’s probably the song’s saving grace. Making your tune sound like a more famous hit isn’t the worst move you can make. More famous have engaged in more overt and made more money doing it. So hey.
But more importantly, even under a favorable light, Gangster Rock overstays it’s welcome. Well overstays it.
Now, I could be mistaken, but I doubt Gangster Rock is a 7 and half minute song. But it keeps playing, in almost comic mockery, for what appears to be an impossible amount of time for a song of this nature.
It starts innocently enough, with Felony adorned in some vaguely prohibition-era mobster attire, playing live on stage while kids cut a rug and…roller skate? Sure why not, it’s 1981.
And that’s all well and good for a spell, but the song just won’t end. It powers on, rebelling against all previous notions of pop-rock architecture, approaching an, I’d almost say Prog-Rock level, if it weren’t so blatantly repetitive.
Ultimately, it gets dragged over poor Linnea’s Quigley death at the hands of an aggressive bee-keeper. Wait, he had a sword. Hmm, I’m gonna say he was a fencer. It’s easy to get confused with Gangster Rock stabbing at your cochlea.
Since I couldn’t track down an official release from Felony containing Gangster Rock, I’ve grabbed it directly from the film. However, for the sake of your own sanity, I’ve employed some clever editing to spare you it’s ungodly runtime. Cause no one should be ask to deal with almost 8 minutes of Gangster Rock. Hell, even the 3 and change I’m subjecting you too here is of suspect length.
So grab a fencing mask, strap on a pair of roller skates and do the China Groove…I mean Gangster Rock.
Too Farby Jim Cushinery, Ken Brown and Michael Linn
For the salacious among you, it may be of interest to know that Night Screams provides some much needed nudity no less than 10 seconds into it’s runtime. Not a record I’m sure, but disarmingly quick.
Eagle-eyed slasher fans could be forgiven for thinking it all looks very familiar. That’s not surprising, because you’re actually just watching Graduation Day, an act you’re sharing with 2 of Night Screams characters. And you’re gonna see more.
It’s a strange move, but not the boldest move Night Screams has on offer.
Seems that none of the film’s actresses signed on for getting buff, so director Allen Plone (Phantom of the Ritz) judiciously added in random clips of nudity to make up the difference. He even went as far as to use some actual pornography. Nothing graphic, but still.
You’ll be treated to classic porn icons like Seka and Honey Wilder. You also get Linnea Quigley, but only via the Graduation Day clips. You also get Bobby from The Karate Kid, but he doesn’t get naked.
You’ll also get, at no extra charge, a sometimes amusing, but largely yawn inducing, late-in-the-game slasher that can only be recommended to either completists or the terminally bored.
But, as you’re well aware, there must be some great music to be had, or else what the hell are we talking about, right?
Well, of a sort. There’s a good amount of garbage 80’s sub-rock on display and I think that’s definitely worth noting. Additionally, I rather enjoy the score for Night Screams. It’s minimalistic, synthy and very 80’s. But that’s not what we’re featuring here today.
What we’ve chosen to highlight for the playlist is a bit more poppy. It’s my favorite of the low budget tracks featured in Night Screams, but it really only appears briefly during the film.
Then unfortunately, the movie ends on some lethargic trumpet jazz you wouldn’t even use to put your fish to sleep.
But wait, what’s happening here? Night Screamshas decided to show each of its low-rent murders again during the credits for no particular reason? By God, it’s another bold move. Wait, the trumpet music is fading…c’mon play it..play it….
And then it starts. The exact song I was looking to include. Sometimes you get a fortuitous lie. In this case, it’s an untitled Track I’ve given to calling Too Far.
Performed (I guess) by Jim Cushinery, Ken Brown and Michael Linn – the credits aren’t terribly specific. Their names are attached, but only generally speaking.
But the killings keep going. Oh man. What’s happening now? Oh, they’ve decided to replay some more of that budget rock. Ah, I remember this one. It’s that song from the night club called Chill Out. Hmmm.
Yeah, I’ll just pull the cord on this right here I guess. I think including Chill Out too might be going Too Far.
I love The Stuff. You probably do too. The Stuff is great. It kills all the bad things inside us.
Larry Cohen’s 1985 send up of consumer-culture plays like an Invasion of the Body Snatcherfor the Reagan Era.
It’s fun and light, yet still decidedly unsettling. Maybe that’s because, despite its outlandish premise, its various parts feel so completely believable. You can actually imagine everything playing out this way, should an invasive alien organism present itself as a tasty new dessert. From the corporate feeding frenzy, to the social obsession, to the aggressive marketing campaign, The Stuff’s absurdity feels genuinely authentic.
Which leads us here. There’s no shortage of commercial jingles in The Stuff. There’s even a pretty fantastic extended track about The Stuff. Unfortunately as of yet, despite my longing, this song has not presented itself in isolation.
So, I’ve taken the 2 instances of the song featured in the film and tried to splice them into something resembling a complete version.
Additionally, I’ve surrounded it with other Stuff related promotional material, just for kicks.
Hey, is that Ave Vagoda? Yep.
Graduation Daywill be right back after a word from our sponsor.
The Winnerby Lance Owg, Gabriel Rohels & David Cole
Whenever I throw on an 80’s slasher flick I’ve never seen, I want it to sound exactly like The Boogeyman. It lets you know, right out of the gate, that a certain vibe is headed your way. The shoulders relax a bit and you can settle right into that warm, grainy fuzz of analog era horror.
In the event that the movie doesn’t sound like The Boogeyman however, I want it to sound exactly like Graduation Day; the sort of upbeat, discoed-out answer to that sound.
Can you beat this song? Sure. There’s a whole host of of better songs. There’s even better songs that have started off other horror movies. But if you’re giving me some B-grade horror movie bullshit, raise the flag. And it’s a short list of songs raising that flag higher than The Winner.
Listen to this thing. Are you kiddin’ me with this song? Lance Owg (which is a great name by the way) teams up Gabriel Rohels and David Cole to produce a song so suited to its surroundings, so perfectly a product of its era, so seemingly at odds with the movie, yet so wonderfully in tune with it, that you almost have to stand in awe.
Played over an extended slow motion montage of a highschool track and field competition, it’s priming you for an evening of go-for-the-gold and give-it-your-all horror. Whether Graduation Day makes good on that promise is a bit dubious. Ultimately, that’s up to you, but I like it well enough.
From 1981, right in the thick of the action, it skimps ya a bit on the gore, but there’s plenty of hallmarks here for slasher lovers to embrace; sub-par acting, strange behavior, a live rock band performing at a dance (more on them later) and, of course, some nudity.
In fact, The Queen herself, Linnea Quigley, was cast to replace an actress that would not fulfill her contractual nudity clause. And when you’re in a tight spot, you need to bring in a big gun, and our girl Linnea’s about as big a gun as you can get. Maybe not in 1981, sure, but in retrospect, it’s a serious pull.
Sorry. Linnea gets me sidetracked every time. What were we talkin’ about again? Oh yeah, a song. And a questionable song, to say the least.
Is this a song people wanna hear? I dunno. I doubt it. It’s a song I wanna hear and that counts for something, I think. At least around here, anyway.
Is it a song people are gonna associate with Halloween? Probably gonna go with a big “no” on that one too. But there’s no shortage of songs like that on this playlist.
Is it a song your party goers are gonna wanna hear on Halloween? 2+2 still equals 4, so this one, maybe not such a big hit at the party. Though certainly danceable, you can’t deny.
But, is it Shindig Material? Oh, you better believe…it’s a winner. The Winner, in fact.
Halloween by Bing Crosby, Boris Karloff & Victor Moore
Many of you are no doubt familiar with Bing Crosby, if only as the narrator of Disney’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow or from White Christmas. Already, no Holiday slouch.
Well, back in October of 1946, ole Bing here started hosting Philco Radio Time, a program sponsored by the Philco Corporation, who made phonographs back then. This program was known for being the 1st pre-recorded radio show in America! This was no doubt due to Philco’s influence as pioneers in the recording and reproduction of sound. Pretty neat
Like the variety television shows that would follow in its footsteps, this programm featured Bing and various musical guests performing songs and skits. Mostly though, it featured ads for Philco phonographs, unsurprisingly.
On October 29th 1947, Bing invited Universal Horror star Boris Karloff onto the program for a little festive spice. You can listen to the entire program here, if you’ve got a thing for old timey radio.
That night, stage actor and comedian Victor Moore was also on hand and the 3 of them decided to sing everybody a song for Halloween.
Now, this song was later released on a Bing Crosby compilation with much better audio quality then what’s available on the full program. However, I’ve taken the intro from the full episode to give the song a bit more context, which will explain the sudden shift in audio quality.
Long sitting in the Shindig Bullpen, 2020 seemed like an appropriate to year to finally add a song about folks being too afraid to leave their houses for Halloween.
I’m not sure what next week is gonna look like, mostly because I’m writing this under quarantine 5 months before Halloween. But also because, in this moment, it’s hard to imagine folks opting to have their children walk up to several dozen houses and grab fistfuls of unsanitized candy from the communal bowls of complete strangers. We’ll see I suppose.
However society ends up handling this already anemic autumnal activity, I’m sure it’ll be a thing straight out of 2020. So, let’s hear the newest oldest track on Halloween Shindig. But first, as the old Silver Shamrock ad says…
Haunted is one of those weird, toothless horror flicks that didn’t seem to get the memo about what the hell was going down with the rest of the genre in the late 70’s.
Mostly, it just feels like an overlong episode of some 70’s TV show you never liked that somehow managed to escaped to the big screen, doubled-billed with something people might have actually wanted to see.
Consensus seems to be that it’s a Horror film. I guess you could call it that, as there is the ghost of an Indian woman talking out of some weird payphone we see installed at the edge of a cemetery for no particular reason. Oh, and a guy attempts murder at one point.
Though only a refreshing 80 minutes in length, it takes about 50 for anything even close to horrific to take place. And then, it takes another 25 for something else resembling horror to come to pass. And even then, you’ll likely be pretty unimpressed.
It isn’t a complete loss however, depending on how much you enjoy strange overdubbed dialogue, nudity for nudity’s sake, weird cigar-store Indians that look like regular-ass dudes and Aldo Ray drunkenly shouting all his lines in that awesome raspy voice of his. Those things go some distance for guy like me. It’s enough to make it mildly watchable in the moment, but not much beyond that. I doubt I’ll be firing up Haunted anytime soon to get a fix of anything. Well, except maybe Aldo Ray. He is pretty great here.
What does set Haunted apart however, as you might have already guessed, is a pretty fantastic opening credit song called Indian Woman.
Sung by Billy Vera, who’s hit single, At This Moment, initially fell on deaf ears when it was released in 1981. But then, it found its way onto an episode of Family Ties in 1985, where a little bit of that Michael J. magic rubbed off and sent the track to #1.
Michael and fellow Family Ties actress, Tracy Pollan, shared their first kiss to that tune while shooting the scene. Shortly after sharing the screen again in Bright Lights, Big City, the two got married. Michael J. later said the couple couldn’t get on a dance floor anywhere in the world for almost 10 years without hearing At This Moment come flying out of the speakers.
If you’re not one of those big Family Ties enthusiasts, or particularly up on your 80’s ballads, you may still be familiar withVera , albeit through another avenue.
As a struggling musician, Billy started taking acting gigs to make ends meet. He then landed himself a role as Pinky Carruthers in a little Peter Weller movie called The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension. That’s weird.
Check him out here with his green fedora and John Parker. Yep. This guy, from this other weird-ass movie, sings this weird-ass song from this weirder-ass movie.
Hey, maybe you’re a 90210 fan! Maybe you even remember him as Brandon Walsh’s bookie, Duke Weatherhill?
Maybe not. I know I don’t. I just read that 5 minutes ago while researching Billy Vera. But, hey, maybe you do.
Either way, it seems Billy isn’t too proud of his work here on Haunted, as neither his Wikipedia entry nor his own website (containing his entire discography) makes any mention of Indian Woman. Can’t imagine why.
Perhaps it’s not the same Billy Vera? I dunno. Were there 2 different Billy Veras that were famous singers around this time? I guess it’s possible. I was wrong about Paul Williams. And there is that whole Cat’s Eye/Ray Stephens spelled Ray Stevens business. So conflating 2 different Billy Vera’s here is a distinct possibility.
All I know for sure is that if I was the guy responsible for this bizarro 70’s horror crooning, you better believe I’d be pullin’ up a table at the HorrorHound straight bumpin’ this shit, signin’ 8×10 glossies of Pinky Carruthers and Haunted one-sheets. Given, of course, I was in fact that same guy who did both.
Since I can’t actually do most of that, I’ll just do the one thing I can and bump this shit.
Here’s the sleeper hit of 2020. The probably retroactively offensive, and thus perhaps under-celebrated winner, Indian Woman.
I probably agree with whatever you just said to yourself, whatever it was. I’m pretty flexible on this one.
I will say that I mostly enjoy it, though. I like the tone and it’s late 70’s disco vibe. It’s what I want out of a slasher, aesthetically speaking. Donny’s pretty great too, and watching him be a socially inept weirdo is its own kind of charming.
And it certainly kicks off delivering the goods. Problem is, it pulls back on the reigns a little too much in the middle. Ultimately, it ramps back up again to a somewhat satisfactory level before the end, but you can feel a crazier movie just wanting to bust out here. Should have just keep the hammer down, you ask me.
That being said, it’s still a fun enough slasher with a some pretty memorable moments none the less.
More importantly for us though, it features one thumpin-ass disco banger of a Sweet Song in Struck By Boogie Lightning.
Though pretty discoed out itself, I’m still not sure if Don’t Go In The House should wrap it all up with something like Stuck by Boogie Lightning. You could accuse it of being tonally inconsistent. I don’t. But you could.
Personally, given the rest of the disco tunes scattered throughout the film, it doesn’t sound out of place at all. But, it does seem a little upbeat for whatever the hell we just watched. Sometimes that’s just what you need with a movie like this though.
So I’m glad it ends with this song though, cause it’s awesome and I wouldn’t know about it otherwise. So, hats off gang.
Though called simply “Boogie Lightning” in the film’s credits and attributed to producer/writer Bill Heller, the song was released under the moniker L’Etrique as Struck by Boogie Lightning in 1979. While essentially the same exact song, the film’s version plays for about 2 minutes and only features the words “Struck by Boogie Lightning.”
The official L’Etriqueversion, however, is a nearly 8 minute disco opus which will surely bring you to your boogie knees.
Somewhere between my almost autistic pursuit of purity and a sense of goddamn common decency, lies this truncated (though still expanded) Halloween Shindig version. It’s longer and more complete than what the movie provides, yet slices out a lot of the repetition and the open ended disco breakdown of the official release.
This is one of those Shindig tunes where, if you’re not familiar with the film, it just seems like a bizarre addition. But if you are familiar with the film, it’s one of those tracks that just needs to be included. This song grooves man, and it’s one my absolute favorite additions of 2020.
So, build a weird murder room and grab your flamethrower or hell, maybe just smash a candle into some innocent girl’s poor face and burn the whole goddamn disco down.
In 1973, William Friedkin tapped straight into some ancient Catholic corner of the world’s collective unconsciousness with his masterpiece The Exorcist. People went berserk.
As in the wake of anything that hugely successful, the imitators quickly emerged.
From India’s Seytan, to Canada’s The Manitou, to Spain’s Excorsimo, to Germany’s Magdalena, to our own home grown Abby… there’s definitely no shortage of Exorcist knock-offs.
But nobody pumped em out like the Italians, Pope John Paul II be damned.
There’s The Antichrist, ya know, that one where a paraplegic Rosemary-look-alike totally licks a goat’s asshole. And I mean totally. That one’s pretty awesome.
Or there’s L’Ossessa, also known as Enter the Devil, The Eerie Midnight Horror Show, The Sexorcist, The Devil Obsession,The Obsessed, The Tormented, or The Movie with the Most Alternate Titles Trying to Capitalize Whatever Film Was Most Popular at a Given Time.
That one finds a wooden crucifix Jesus coming to life Morty-style and having his way with our young protagonist. He’s actually the Devil, and later he climbs off a different cross during a weird ritual and totally crucifies this poor girl to it instead. Yikes.
Or how bout poor Bava’s previously titled Lisa and The Devil? It wasn’t faring too well, so the producers re-cut that fucker to improve marketability. They infused it with new scenes deliberately ripping off The Exorcist and released it as TheHouse of Exorcism. Some of those scenes were even shot by Bava’s son (and Demonsdirector) Lamberto Bava, but Mario claims that version is no longer his film at all really.
While all these have their place and finer points, none of them are quite as head scratching or entertaining as Italy’s original Exorcistknock-off, Chi Sei?, which was released to American audiences as Beyond the Door.
More importantly, none of them feature a funked-up ode to the Devil himself like Bargain with The Devil.
From the weird voice dubbing, to the strange children, to Dimitri being a general skeezer, it’s all pretty bizarre. For me though, it’s weirdness culminates when an aggressive pack of street musicians accosts Robert, one of whom appears to be playing a recorder through his nose. That’s creepy.
Here’s the soulful tune about soullessness, Bargain with the Devil. You know, it sounds like a jerk-off session in the bathroom.
We’ve long talked about our love forThe Old Gray Goosehere on both Halloween Shindig, and Shindig Radio.
An old story and songster from New England, Goose weaves many a tall tale in a way that only he can.
Here, he spins us several Halloween themed yarns, and damn it if I don’t just love the hell out of it. This album is an annual favorite of mine, and I hope it can become one for you all as well.
So, what should have been done years ago, is happening now.The Old Gray Goose’sScary Stories for Halloweenis another one of those things you should be able to hear right here on Halloween Shindig, so now you can.
So, put on a little beanie, find a good plot in the graveyard, and watch out for the high threshold, cause here comesThe Old Gray Goose.
For our final spin with the crew from Deep 13, we have a fun song featured during an episode from the Sci-Fi channel years.
Notorious beach-party turkey The Horror of Party Beach provides us with this tune called Zombie Stomp by The Del Aires.
The Del Aires appear as themselves in the movie, playing this tune. And yeah, it might be weird that a movie about radioactive sea monsters features a song about zombies, but let’s not overthink this thing, especially since they perform an unprecedented 6 tunes in total during the films runtime. But, ya know, this one’s zombie-themed, making it the clear choice for the playlist.
So, before we say goodbye to Mike, Tom Servo, Crow, Gypsy, Cambot, Joel, Dr. Forrester, TV’s Frank, Pearl and the rest of the gang on Mystery Science Theater 3000, let’s have a little fun with this grooving beach tune.
Let’s hang out here for a little longer on The Satellite of Love and listen to a couple more choice cuts from Mystery Science Theater 3000’s 11 year reign of terror.
Perhaps the most famous of the terrible songs Joel and The Bots had to sit through was Hear the Engines Roll, also known as Burning Rubber Tires, from the bizarro Spanish E.T.knock-off, Extra Terrestrial Visitors, also known as Pod People.
Idiot Control Now(as Joel and the bots sing in their parody) serves as a nice respite from some of the heavier and darker songs populating this playlist, and I actually kinda like it.
I dunno. It’s fun, catchy, and hearing it just makes me happy. It kinda reminds me of Everybody But You from Night Train to Terror, which is another song that kinda just makes me happy to hear.
Maybe that’s familiarity, or MST3K nostalgia, or just a general disregard for my own well being. Call it whatever you’d like, just don’t get me wrong here, cause there’s no doubt this is an awful song. It’s just an awful song I like hearing. But it’s still awful.
And Pod People itself isn’t any better. Strange puppets, stranger voice dubbing, and one overly enthusiastic young weirdo. It also features Trumpy, the bizarre anteater E.T. named after our President, Donald J. Trump. I keep hoping someone will Deepfake Trumpy into a Presidential debate or some shit, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. Get on that, Interent!
However you may feel about this song, or this film, it’s makes for some great Satellite of Love fodder, and it has definitely become an MST3K fan-favorite. I have to imagine at least some of that can be chalked up to this strange tune.
Now, I don’t know about you gang, but I got a sack of monkeys in my pocket, and my sister’s ready to go!
When it comes to 80’s Party Monster Movies (read: Gremlinsrip-offs) I don’t know if there’s a more joyless entry than 1988’s Hobgoblins.
I mean, it is good for a laugh or two, sure. And it’s certainly not the most horrendous thing you could watch, not by any means. But good it is not.
And I don’t think that’s the Hobgoblins fault. Ok, they aren’t all that fun, nor do they have much in the way of personality, you got me there. But c’mon, they aren’t given a whole lot of screen time to really develop any magic, or work what little magic they have. And it’s a shame, cause this movie could have used all the help it could get.
Naw, Hobgoblins doesn’t have much going for it, and tragically, its under-featured creatures are perhaps its finest asset.
However, it does feature a band trying to put it out there on celluloid. In this case, it’s The Fontanelles, whom we have the pleasure of seeing perform at Club Scum.
Of course, “pleasure” here should be taken with a grain of salt. I think, given their surroundings, the film could have done a lot worse than pull The Fontanelles, a band that seems to need Hobgoblins a lot less than Hobgoblins needs them.
If you’re a Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan, then you’re probably already aware of Jean Paul Sartre and The Heartbreakers Bosch Separatist Rock hit Pig Sticker. Mike and the Bots don’t have many options when powering through something like Hobgoblins, and The Fontanelles’ performance of Kiss Kicker ’99 is ripe for the picking. The guy practically chicken dances with a goofy hat and you can barely tell what he’s singing. It’s totally understandable and an enjoyable distraction.
To be fair though, I think this song ain’t half bad. In fact, it’s a far cry better than Hobgoblins is, that’s for sure.
Hey, what gives? You’re gonna include some whatever-ass Metal song and just gloss over Motörhead?
Yep, and I’m about to do it again.
Cause listen, we’ve all heard Ace of Spades. Nobody reading this right now doesn’t know Ace of Spades. Quite frankly, you’re probably all sick of Ace of Spades. Never mind the fact that no one is associating Ace of Spades with this movie or even Halloween. So, forget Ace of Spades. You’ll hear it on the radio soon enough.
More importantly though, for my money, the Zombie Nightmaresoundtrack doesn’t get any better than Danger Zone.
Nope, not the Loggins classic, but rather this choice thumper from Canadian metallurgists Fist.
In fact, Fist’sDanger Zone predates the Giorgio Moroder composed Top Gunhit by at least an entire year. No real matter though, as Wilson Pickett recorded a song called Danger Zone in 1966. So whatever to claiming on that, ya 80’s upstarts.
If you’re watching Zombie Nightmare, you may note that The Twist ‘N Creme plays an unnaturally prominent role in the film. A lot of stuff happens there, and this Fist tune can be heard loud and clear as car-hop Susie shuts in down for the night.
Unfortunately, she’s about to be accosted (again) by our old friend Jimmy “I Can’t Drive 35” Batton. He leans into yet another unrelenting string of juvenile innuendos regarding his inordinately large dick. The classic art of woo.
Susie is not amused. You might be though, at least that is until Jimbo flips the rape switch and shit gets weird.
Thankfully, our dead-signated Hitter Tony Washington shows up and shoves a softball bat straight through Jimmy and saves that day.
Way to go Zombie! Gotta love a movie that lets you root for the Monster.
John Fasano is an honorary Shindig All-Star because the man understood a simple truth: horror movies and heavy metal fit like a latex mask.
When we honored John back in 2014, we glossed over one Fasano production that definitely abides by this universal law: Zombie Nightmare.
Though uncredited due to some bizarro Canadian financial regulation, John basically wrote and directed Zombie Nightmare. And as such, it’s got what you need: Adam West, Tia Carrere, Voodoo, Rec-League Softball, Dollar Store Columbo, Fasano himself body slamming a dirty greaser, John Mikal Thor’s nipples, a zombie with a baseball bat and one rocking soundtrack.
Letting you know what’s up right from the jump is Motörhead and Ace of Spades. Not a bad way to kick off any movie. Throw in some tracks from Death Mask, Virgin Steele, and a bevy of song produced by pseudonymous Thor bands (including a sweet song called Zombie Life) and you got yourself a soundtrack. Thor also added credited-track Rebirth to the mix and even took it upon himself to synthesize a score as the Thor-kestra. Snap.
If you’ve ever seen the film, then you know defacto-gang leader and vehicular-manslaughterer-turned-food-thrower-turned-bad-innuendo-peddler-turned-sexual-predator Jimmy Batten is one weenie of a villain.
Such a weenie in fact, that he can’t even burn rubber in his sweet Porsche 944 to this Girlschool song that was definitely built for speed. You should at least approach 65 if you’re listening to this tune. What you shouldn’t do is leisurely cruise down Quebec’s miracle mile, particularly if you’re riding high on last night’s hit-and-run murder and you just threw a bunch of spaghetti in your mom’s face. What kinda Teen Beat rebel are you?
Despite Jimbo’s internal governor, you can feel free to let your lead foot linger just a little and get that sucker redlined. C’mon, let’s go!
The deeper you dig into the heaping pile of 80’s slasher movies, the more trash you’re liable to dig up.
It’s honestly not a bad practice. It can help one develop an appreciation for more accomplished slashers you had previously considered total garbage. Plus, every once an a while, you a find a little gem.
Now, maybe The Last Slumber Party isn’t quite that gem (it really depends on who you ask) but it’s a fair bit more entertaining than a lot of unequivocal duds.
But listen, this thing is just gonna seem boring, poorly made, and of virtually no value to a horror fan looking for any of the things a normal horror fans wants from a movie of this nature.
However, to a certain breed of horrornaut, this is definitely in the venn diagram of gold. So much of its dialogue is so goofy, and the 3 girls so charming in their delivery, that it’s hard to watch this without cracking a smile. That’s more than I can say for a lot of other turkeys.
Poorly recorded references to Charlie’s Angelsand To Have and To Have Not co-exist with calling everyone “queer” and a constant desire to “munch out.”
All that bad audio mixes with budget pop which is simultaneously layered underneath an atonal synth score, inducing auditory hallucinations.
Xanadu posters share walls with Tom Selleck photos and the gang from Sesame Streetwhile a healthy dose of 80’s butt rock fills in the moments of synthlessness. But maybe those are more auditory hallucinations. The movie has that sort of vibe. It’s like a video fever dream you’re never quite sure is really happening, It’s a fun vibe.
And what of all this rock you’re hearing? Well, it’s all provided by Firstryke, an Oklahoma metal band previously known as Slayer. They obviously had to change their name and they unfortunately chose the unfortunate Firstryke, complete with it’s prerequisite metal-respelling. However, they did like to say they were known as “Texas Slayer.”
However, their greatest claim to fame is that they weren’t the actual “Texas Slayer” from San Antonio, who had to change their name to S.A. Slayer. Yeah, they aren’t those guys.
Oh, and Last Slumber Party. They also did this soundtrack. And it’s pretty rocking.
Bookending the film nicely is their tune Just A Nightmare, a stiff shot of red-blooded American 80’s metal that can’t sense it’s own impending doom. You got a couple more years fellas, so enjoy the big hair, tight pants and cocaine while you can, cause this ship is sinking. Pretty soon you’ll be capsized by a wave of flannel and heroin rising up out of a complete vacuum of fun!
But, until then, let’s just go munch out you queers!
The Great Coron-Out of 2020 put a lot of different shit on hold. Traveling, going to school, supporting local businesses, licking the palms of total strangers, weddings, feeling healthy, casually coughing in public, playing professional sports, trusting your fellow man, trusting authority, making movies, going to see movies, hell, just fucking hanging out with friends, all put on ice until further notice.
Unsurprisingly then, this heighten cautious state also put the brakes on independent bands that were trying to shoot music videos.
So this past summer, when faced with just such a dilemma, the latex mask guru’s atNightmare Forceand the Dutch Death Dealers Fondlecorpseapproached Halloween Shindig in hopes of producing a quarantine team-up to battle back the blockade.
The result was the video below; a visual barrage of over 40 years worth of Satanic Panic set to the soothing sounds of shredding and screaming: The Nightmare Force.
But that’s not the only thing Fondlecorpsehas to say on the matter of melting faces.
Not by a long shot. Ya see, Fondlecorpse has been peeling off VHS Metal for almost 20 years now. And with albums like Creaturegoreand Set the Drill to Kill, I wish I’d known about them sooner, because these guys could have been Shindiggin’ for years already.
And with songs like Krite Attack!, Choppingmall and Terrorvision, we wouldn’t have had to stretch even one inch to make room for them on the roster. Hell, they’ve got All-Star status just waiting for them in the rafters.
But strictly referential tracks won’t be necessary to include Rotterdam’s finest. Not in the slightest. At least not for their rookie at-bat, anyway. And that’s because Fondlecorpse took the main artery straight to the heart of this thing here with their 2007 full length release, Blood and Popcorn.
Featured on that album is, you guessed it, a straight up Halloween song. A Halloween song about Halloween ‘78, no less. And damn it if that’s not a sure-fire way to get webbed up in this Samhain soirée.
Loomis, Laurie, Smith’s Grove, Jack-O-Lanterns, and Trick-Or-Treating are all boxes getting ticked off here. Hell, even Samhain, the lord of the dead, gets a shout out from Sly, if you can actually make out what the fuck he’s saying anyway. I mean, this is Death Metal after all.
You can find more songs, CD’s, and merch at the Fondlecorpse Bandcamp, or you can follow them where ever you get shit beamed directly into your corneas: Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.
This quarantine saw Halloween Shindig joining forces with Fondlecorpse. Now, Halloween draws the circle closed, as Fondlecorpse joins the hallowed ranks of Halloween Shindig.
Welcome aboard fellas. Your brothers in Halloween Heavy Metal welcome you.
The Beast Withinby Perry Monroe, Mike Pasqualini and Asbestos Felt
Next up is The Beast Within, another solid Title Track from 1982…
..,is what I would be saying if this song was actually from the film The Beast Within and not confusingly from Tim Ritter’s 1986 fever dream Killing Spree.
If you’ve ever seen Killing Spree, than you might recall that most of the music is practically note for note homages to John Harrison’s Creepshow score. And they sound good, too. I wonder if composer Perry Monroe had an actual Prophet 5 on hand.
No matter though, because wrapping up this bawdy and almost Shakespearean tale of paranoia and deadly misunderstandings, is the aforementioned Beast Within.
It may not be a Title Track, but someone must have hipped Tim to the next best move, cause this Rock ‘N Roll Sweet Song 180’s into a full on Monster rap, complete with a highly detailed plot summary. Yeah, you bet.
It’s also predictably spit in that hard, racially appropriative fashion of the late 80’s, by none other than the films lead, the curiously named Asbestos Felt! Check him out.
But don’t judge this book by its title alone. Judge it by its cover. Then, go ahead judge it by its contents, and then come back and rejudge it by its a title, cause all 3 are working perfectly in tandem to deliver exactly what you’d imagine.
Felt is all-in here and his maniacal expressions and glorious performance are much of what make Killing Spree such a joy to behold. I love this guy, and wish he had more films to his credit.
So, let’s enjoy some low-budget 16mm 80’s backyard madness with the boys from Killing Spree. Here’s The Beast Within.
A Critical Madness by Kay Reed with The Church of Our Savior Choir
Tim Ritter is pretty awesome. If you’re a fan of 80’s shot-on-video, backyard horror, than you’re definitely familiar with old Tim.
The auteur behind such insane fare as Twisted Illusions, Creepand Day of the Reaper, Tim was a to-the-bone horror fan armed with a camera who just said “Hey! I can do that.”
And did it he did, creating some of the most entertaining and charming additions to this bizarre, homespun sub-genre. If you like that sort of thing.
And I do, so I’m gonna give you all a double shot of Tim Ritter tunes. First up, the by-line Title Track to his 1986 bonkers opus Truth or Dare: A Critical Madness.
Like most of Tim’s output, it’s a film that really must be seen to be believed and even then I’m sure it’ll be a little tricky to fully wrap your mind around.
After happening upon his wife fuckin his best friend, Mike Strauber begins spiraling into a critical madness, first by playing increasingly masochistic games of truth or dare with people that aren’t really there, sending him straight to the nuthouse.
Eventually, he disfigures his own face and then fashions himself a weird-ass cooper mask. Then the dickhead orderlies give him a picture of his wife, ya know, to warm up his cold, padded cell. Yeah, that’ll probably lead to increased mental stability.
Predictably (and thankfully for us) it does no such thing, propelling Mike to escape and embark on a Silent Night, Deadly Night 2-style daytime killing spree complete with nunchucks, a full-on mace and maybe even a grenade, I dunno.
Shot when Tim was only 18, it belies his age and at times appears to be the work of more mature folks. Not all the time of course, but it’s still pretty impressive for someone who couldn’t even legally get drunk.
Which leads us to this song, this gloriously bizarre and out of place song. Some kinda Dion Warwick sounding left field commission, A Critical Madnessappears to be sung from perspective of Mike’s wife, by crooning woman Kay Reed, complete with an accompanying children’s choir.
I dunno why Tim thought a movie like his should end with a song like this, but thank God he did.
Dr. Hackensteinby Claude LeHanaff and Hard Roaders
Sometime after Stuart Gordon made Re-Animator but before Henenlotter made Frankenhooker, writer/director Richard Clark released his lone feature, Dr. Hackenstein, which combines elements of both in a more traditional Frankenstein setting.
It’s a quaint little horror comedy that, while not especially noteworthy, is perfectly watchable and even somewhat charming. I’d have a hard time imagining anyone who likes either of the aforementioned films not finding at least something about this one they enjoy. Particularly considering the FX, which were provided by none other than Kurtzman, Nicotero and Berger EFX Group. Ya know, B.C. KNB EFX
It stars David Murr from Neon Maniacs as the titular physician, a guy who you’d almost mistake for Roddy McDowell. Playing along side him, as the main damsel in bodily distress, is the lovely Stacey Travis, whom some of you may recognize from Phantasm 2, Hardware or even Earth Girls Are Easy.
Additionally, you get some fun guest appearances from both Ramseys Anne and Logan, Phyllis Diller, and that cheapskate Hotel Manager from Ghostbusters! Not a bad showing.
What’s more? You guessed it. With only one feature to his credit, Richard Clark had the wherewithal to include an honest to God Title Track.
That egghead Stanley Kubrick never had a Title Track. Some auteur he was. No wonder he never got an Oscar. And don’t give me any of that “Well, Dr. Strangelove’sWe’ll Meet Again was technically a Title Track from the musical We’ll Meet Again” baloney, cause I ain’t having it! If we all just start throwing other people’s Title Tracks into our movies with different titles and no Title Tracks and and then calling them Title Tracks, what does that make us? No better than the terrorists, that’s what.
100% anachronistic and totally 80’s, this goofy as all get-out Title Track gets the extra special treatment of being a Sweet Song too boot. Double bonus!
So, sit back and relax, the doctor will see you now.
He calls himself an Obstetrician! He’s Dr. Hackenstein.
