TRACK #425:

Witchfinder General by Carl Douglas

We’re gonna bring our HalloWitch Week to a close here with this straight heater from Jamaican singer Carl Douglas.

Now, Carl is probably best (and perhaps even only) known for his 1974 mega-hit Kung Fu Fighting. In fact, he is so only known for it that it takes 2 pages of google results to find a fuckin photo of the guy where he isn’t wearing a goddamn karate headband. I get it Carl, get the bag, but this is all a bit excessive with the Kung Fu, no?

Released right as the 1970’s Chopsocky craze was taking off, I wonder how much its success was a product of that wave and how much of its success keep that wave rolling. Like some sort of spinning, self-sustaining system of mirror-encrusted cultural appropriation and ethnic stereotyping. And that’s without even considering its extensive use of the Oriental Riff. It was 1974 after all.

Unfortunately, Carl never found much success outside of that tune, despite releasing 2 other albums and having 2 other singles fare well on the UK charts. Of course one of those was also about Kung Fu, but hey, if it ain’t broke, it ain’t broke.

Over here, we’re gonna cut Carl some slack, because the very next track after Kung Fu Fighting on his album Kung Fu Fighter is Witchfinder General, and that’s got Shindig written all over it.

It’s one seriously funked out, wah-ed up slice of 70’s satanic awesomeness. I wish this was a Title Track, as anachronistic as that would have been. I can’t say for sure that Carl is directly referencing the 1968 Vincent Price movie, as there is a book of the same name on which the film was loosely based. There’s also the fact that Witchfinder General was a very real title that verified piece of shit Matthew Hopkins, a man said to be responsible for over 100 death, bestowed upon himself.

Now, while I can appreciate the convenience of the rhyme (lazy though it may be), perhaps it’s just a tad insensitive to refer to very real and falsely accused women murdered by very real and confirmed douchebag Matthew Hopkins, as “mighty fine bitches.” But hey, this is just a feel good disco swinger bud, let’s not get all woke on it, huh? Sheesh. What the fuck are we here for? Some fuckin’ scolding or some fuckin’ bangers?!

Bangers – and bang this one does. I’ve never been a big fan of Kung Fu Fighting, despite its Gold Record status and Billboard #1 peaking chart performance. However, Witchfinder General is a stone cold groove.

So, let’s say goodbye (for now) to the mighty fine bitches known as Witches, with this 70’s time capsule from Mr. Kung Fu Headband himself, Carl Douglas.