Born On Halloween

TRACK #200

Born on Halloween by V. Ice (feat. Violent J)

V. Ice, as the horror-core iteration of Robert Van Winkle (aka Vanilla Ice) refers to himself, was actually born on Halloween. October 31st 1967, to be precise. That’s pretty awesome as far as The Shindig is concerned. What’s more? He cut a referential Halloween track about it.

Double bonus.

Depending on your perspective that is.

From The Shindig’s perspective, it’s an all around winner. First and foremost, its a Referential Halloween Monster Rap. That’s pretty special. Referential Halloween tracks are a rarity, and the few others that appear on this playlist are weakly included in either direction. Not V. Ice’s jam though. Born On Halloween a card-carrying referential Halloween Monster Rap.

This is not a good song though. I love it. At times it fills me with Halloween joy. At other times it makes me laugh. I rock out to it in my car. Genuinely. I don’t change it at red lights when cute girls or tough guys pull up next to me.

It’s on The Shindig, hands down, no question, but it can’t really be called good. I love a lot of things genuinely that are not objectively good. Go scrolling randomly through this playlist; the evidence to that fact is compelling. Many things about this song are not good.

Starting with it’s absolutely ridiculous chorus. Random weirdo’s chant “Born On Halloween” in a manner that sounds suspiciously like This Is Halloween from A Nightmare Before Christmas. Fitting then, 100 songs after posting that track, we’ve finally decided to post this one.

Add to that some of the weakest referential rhymes to hit The Shindig since The Maniac Cop Rap, and it’s hard to make a strong case for the quality of this song.

“Some call him Psycho
the Norman Bates of Hip-Hop.
The ladies call him Alfred
Cause they’re all over his Hitchcock”

Wow.

No one calls V. Ice that, full stop. I doubt anyone calls him V. Ice for that matter, but hey.

I’ll also set my watch and warrant that no woman anywhere has ever referred to Vanilla Ice as “Alfred” for the sole purpose of alluding to his cock.

There’s no fucking way that’s mathematically possible. The amount of cognition involved in devising such a reference, divided by the relevance and knowledge of Alfred Hitchcock to any ladies within shouting distance of Robert Van Winkle on any given night, produces a probability that could only be visible through a high powered telescope, so fucking insane is it.

The kicker is that this incredibly juvenile rhyme…doesn’t even rhyme!

All of the above would be completely forgivable (as with most ridiculous rap boastings) if the lyric was actually clever. This one is not. And I fucking love it for that.

Violent J (not in fact born on Halloween, as he [perhaps] suggests) shows up to add some much needed street cred to the whole affair. I’m sorry, what?

When a rapping Clown from the Posse Insane is noticeably stepping up your track’s game, something is fucking broke. J quite honestly puts V. Ice to shame on this song with better rhymes, better rhythm and a tone becoming of the subject matter. It’s a breath of fresh air when J steps up to the mic. And that’s not a joke, either. That’s my sincere assessment.

The weirdos will intermittently spout off “With my mask I trick or treat, spooks and freaks all over your street” and “born on Halloween” to everyone’s delight, giving the song it’s air of Halloween spirit.

My research suggests that most listeners will find that all of this nonsense adds up to about 4 minutes of Halloween torture they’d rather have no part of. Can’t blame them for that. The more masochistic audiophiles however or any undercover Juggalos in your crowd might actually enjoy this business. Can’t blame them either, except maybe the undercover Juggalos, for well,…being fucking Juggalos.

I’ve been hard here on V.Ice here, as has the world as a whole for the last 25 years or so. Most of that is completely reasonable considering the seemingly disingenuous output of Robert’s career.

But seriously V.Ice, if you’ve somehow miraculously stumbled across this blog and are reading this, The Shindig loves this song, both genuinely and ironically, all at the same time. It loves that it exists and hoists it proudly among the ranks of Halloween rockdom. We wouldn’t change a thing about it. Your references, as weakly constructed as they are, jam-pack the front end of this track and the Halloween quotient is undeniable, right down to the cribbing of Danny Elfman and the good people of Halloweentown.

Please accept my apologies if I have made you feel, through any of the above criticism, that I am anything less than a fan of this track. There’s a lot of Halloween music I hate (there’s a few ICP songs that come to mind here) that I roundly refuse to include on this playlist. Born On Halloween is not one of those tracks. Born On Halloween is a Halloween song for the ages.

The Haunted House of Rock

TRACK #148:

The Haunted House Of Rock by Whodini

Trick Or Treat – what more can you possibly give The Shindig? Haven’t you given enough already? Surely there are no more Halloween delights under your thin candy shell.

Oh, but there is – a thick nougat center of Monster Rap awesomeness.

In between all the Fastway rocking of the Trick Or Treat soundtrack, tucked away so’s you might not even notice, is this curve-ball of horrific proportions. From 80’s Hip-Hop maestros Whodini comes one of the finest Monster Raps featured on The Shindig, The Haunted House of Rock.

Played during the Halloween Dance sequence, just before Roger turns the speakers over to Sammy Curr’s backwards metallic cassette, Whodini rocks a rhyme about the monsters and mayhem taking place at the titular haunted abode.

What is this song doing on this soundtrack? What is this song even doing in existence? I don’t have an answer to either question, but in both cases I’m sure glad it is.

Succeeding in just about every way L ovebug Starski’s Amityville fails, The Haunted House of Rock features an actual Haunted House propagated by a multitude of real ghouls with no sign of any Starship Enterprise crew members in sight.

Amityville only outshines it for a brief moment when Dracula raps. That’s pretty huge and should not be ignored. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Amityville and it’s ridiculously unhaunted tale, but Whodini delivers the goods in way Starski only aspires to and they remain the champs of the Haunted Monster Party Rap game.

The Haunted House of Rock may even be the champ of the Monster Rap game in its entirety. But it does have some stiff competition.

If you Iike your Monster Raps a bit more specific, Are You Ready For Freddy might be your speed. If you like them a bit more ridiculous, then maybe The Maniac Cop Rap is the winner. Or if you like your Monster Rappin a bit more whack, then The Monster Squad is just what the doctor ordered.

But for my money, when it comes to legitimacy, Whodini is holding it down with this old-school hip-hop horror hit and its inclusion in Trick Or Treat just ups the ante.

I saw everybody there, except you. Let’s change that this year.

Amityville

TRACK #143:

Amityville by Lovebug Starski

In 1985, rap pioneer Lovebug Starski (best known widely for, well this song) decided it’d be a good idea if he just recorded some random track about Amityville. Not for any Amityville movie mind you, but rather during a 5 year lull in the franchise (3D having been released in ‘83, and Curse not for another 4 years.)

Hell, he didn’t even make it in reference to the movies really, but just cause he thought it’d be fun I guess and maybe even a hit.

And he was right! This sucker broke the Billboard Top 20 in ‘86, which means that, for a period of time in America, people were legitimately rocking out to this song. Which is totally understandable. This song is awesome and weird as shit.

Starski uses the real Amityville legend (I guess?) as a sort of jumping off point for some crazy-ass song about a vaguely Haunted House where nothing much happens, but everybody visits.

A Karloff-esque butler greets Starski upon his arrival, then later Dracula shows up for no good reason and raps. Now, that alone is plenty of reason for Amityville to make the cut for every Halloween party playlist ever created.

And as if that wasn’t bizarre enough though, just for the hell of it, Captain Kirk, Scotty and Spock arrive at one point to talk about Starski over the spooky beat. I’m sorry, what? Why? This song is fucking nuts.

Apparently, looking at the 45 sleeve above, you’ll note the record came complete with a “Free Black Hole,” ya know, for all the “time-shift special appearances.” I guess at least they tried to justify this nonsense with some kind of acknowledgement. Not sure if that makes it more or less weird, though.

So take a drive out to Amityville. You know, the house on the hill. You just make a left, then you make a right and……Amityville!

Ghostbusters

TRACK #134:

Ghostbusters by Run D.M.C.

Since everyone got so pissed off this summer about the Ghostbusters remake, and even more pissed off about the new song by Fall Out Boy ft. Missy Elliot (definitely not featured on the Shindig), I thought we’d take a look at another Ghostbusters Theme reiteration that surely pissed off purists in its day.

I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again, but when it comes to Monster Raps, no movie’s got that shit on lock like Ghostbusters 2.

A prime example of this is Run D.M.C.’s Ghostbusters, which (as sacrilegious as it may sound) I actually enjoy a little more than Ray Parker Jr.’s seminal theme.

Don’t get me wrong, Ray’s original Title Track is an unrivaled classic, both for Halloween playlists and just generally speaking. It also serves as the basis for Reverend Run and Co.’s sonic sequel. This jam however is way less played-out, awesomely 8o’s in its own distinct way and just plain old fashioned ridiculous in the best way possible.

Sampled up with tons of clips of the boys bustin’ and schillin’.

You can click this glowing text to watch the official video. It’s pretty great.

So, who you gonna call?

You call the Ghostbusters, well that’s who you call!

Are You Ready for Freddy?

TRACK #124:

Are You Ready for Freddy? by The Fat Boys

Fred Krueger the myth or Fred Krueger the man? It doesn’t matter cause they’re still rappin’ bout him, understand?

The lesser heralded of the 2 official Freddy rap songs, I feel Are You Ready For Freddy is superior to Nightmare on My Street for several good reasons:

It’s The Fat Boys and they’re cooler than Will Smith any day of the week.
It’s officially from a Freddy movie (Part 4: The Dream Master)
It’s less generic about it’s Freddydom, as multiple Elm Street films are referenced and sampled.
It actually features Robert Englund rapping as Freddy, as opposed to whoever the hell is rapping on the DJ Jazzy Jeff track.

2020 Update to this bullet point!

According to Hip-Hop Historian Werner Von Wallenrod, the Freddy in A Nightmare on My Street is actually Ready Rock C! So that’s pretty cool.

Additionally, it is Werner’s assessment this is NOT Robert Englund rapping on The Fat Boy’s track. While my instincts tell me this is Englund, due not only to his appearance in the video, but also the almost unmistakable quality of this Freddy voice, Werner has a compelling basis for his assertion.

It seems no pressing of this track actually credits Robert Englund as being a performer. Now, one might be inclined to think Robert would certainly be credited, if not even require being credited, if this was, in fact, him. Case in point: the 1987 album Freddy’s Greatest Hits 100% credits Robert Englund as providing the Freddy voice. In fact, it goes so far as to credit him as “the creator” of that voice. Robert probably has something of this nature dialed right into his contract, no doubt.

That album, being released a full year before Are You Ready for Freddy, sets a pretty clear precedent. The 12″ single for Are You Ready for Freddy and the The Fat Boy’s album, Coming Back Hard, which features the song, both include a special thanks to “Freddy Krueger.” But, that isn’t terribly compelling.

Wikipedia, which also isn’t necessarily compelling on its own, does credit Robert Englund as performing the Freddy voice. However, that article is itself citing a Rolling Stone article on the lawsuit between Jive Records and New Line Cinema regarding A Nightmare on My Street. Again, not super compelling, but that is Rolling Stone, for whatever that’s worth.

I think Werner has a good point, and there doesn’t seem to be much out there to roundly disprove his theory. In my heart, I think I want to believe this is Robert, so I’m clinging to the idea that it is. But the truth is still out there, and you better believe if I ever see Robert Englund again at Monsterpalooza, I’m definitely asking him that shit.

Now back to our regularly scheduled post!

And if that wasn’t enough, lines like

“With a hat like a vagabond
Standin’ like a flasher
It’s Mr. Big Time, Fred Krueger
Dream crasher”

make all the difference in the world.

Freddymania is in full swing here in 1988 and the series has finally degraded into pure schillery. Freddy is a trade-able commodity now, like pork bellies or silver. He starts hitting the talk show circuit, making music video appearances and hanging out in the windshield of cars.

I actually own this, and it’s fucking awesome.

A double-edged sword no doubt, as it’s exactly this kind of boardroom buffoonery that gives us such an awesome track as Are You Ready for Freddy (and my equally awesome sun-shield.)

But in terms of the movie, well viewers paid the price. Freddy’s crackin’ wise, sportin’ sunglasses and eatin’ pizza like some damned Ninja Turtle. Ceasing to be at all frightening and with the cleanest sweater I think he’s ever worn, Freddy’s less your dirty old dream diddler and more your pal. Hell, he’s brought back from his “grave” by the fiery urine of Kincaid’s dog Jason. Yeah, it sets up its jackassery early and securely.

But I enjoy The Dream Master for much the same reason I enjoy Freddy’s Dead: I love Freddy as a character (either scary or silly) and it’s just a ridiculous piece of horror film making.

Plus it has this song.

Which, interestingly enough, has an alternate version. There was a second, longer version of the track cut for the 12″ single. What? Now that’s the kinda shit The Shindig lives for.

So why isn’t that the featured track? Well, to be honest, I don’t like it as much. It’s a bit slower, the beats a little different and there’s a bunch of extra incidental sounds tossed all over it. It’s kinda weird.

Plus, it cuts out Freddy’s original rap at the end! What?! You get an alternate, almost spoken-word outro from The Dream Crasher, which is fun but just isn’t quite the same.

However, it does feature some pretty fantastic extra verses in the middle where The Boys detail the plot from the original Elm Street and talk about Freddy more. And there’s more samples from the original Elm Street thrown in for good measure. Bonus.

And cause we’re not the kinda outfit to tease a treat like that 10 days before Halloween, just click here to listen to (or download) the extended 12″ version.

But as far as the playlist is concerned, we’re keeping it real, cause you can’t not have Freddy rapping, c’mon.

So here’s to Mr. Big Time, forever immortalized in our musical dreams.

Maniac Cop Rap

TRACK #69:

Maniac Cop Rap by Yeshwua Barnes & B Dub Woods

As longtime followers are probably (painfully) aware, Monster Raps are load bearing supports in the Halloween Shindig rotation.

And when it comes to Monster Raps, few come as tailor-made awesome as Yeshwua Barnes and B Dub Woods’ Maniac Cop Rap.

Check the stats:

Does it take the movie’s score and mix into an awesome beat? Check.
Does it play during the end credits? Check.
Does it feature the title repeated ad nauseum? Check
Does it talk about how badass the main character is? Check
Does it feature the most ridiculous lyrics you can image? Check plus.

Here’s some choice selection from the track…

Set ‘em on fire, I shoot ‘em with a Uzi
But he’ll show up in you’re jacuzzi!”

Gold.

And don’t waste time dialin’ 9-1-1
Forget karate and forget yer gun!

Forgotten.

You won’t get a ticket or pay a fine
You might as well be dealin’ with Frankenstein!

Fair Enough.

Without any further ado, segueing out of our 80’s Oddball Sequel Dance Party, from a sequel that’s arguably better than the original, 1990’s Maniac Cop 2, here’s the Manaic Cop Rap.

Monster Rap

TRACK #53:

Monster Rap by Bobby “Boris” Pickett

Over the years, as the musical climate shifted, Boris Pickett attempted to recapture his Monster Mash lightning into all manner of bottle. The results were, well, not quite as successful.

In the early 80’s he tried rap, much to the delight of The Shindig.

Easily my favorite Boris Pickett tune, this goofy number is, I think, the funniest of his career. The ridiculous chorus of “Shock the body. Shock the body, body” in that Karloff voice is unmatched. Plus a rapping Frankenstein in the form of “Monster Mouth” is pretty fantastic too.

Though, I think the funniest aspect of the track is Boris’ initial excitement to hear the monster rap, and how quickly that turns to complete annoyance once the creature “won’t stop rapping.”

Even in the form of a silly rap, some remnant of Mary Shelley’s themes still persist,…kind of.

Either way, Boris Pickett’s Monster Rap is Shindig gold, all the way around.

Spirit

TRACK #43:

Spirit by Doug E. Fresh and The Get Fresh Crew

When it comes to Monster Raps, no movie’s got that category on lock down like Ghostbusters 2.

Whatever your take on the movie itself (I happen to enjoy it, though not nearly as much as the superior original) its soundtrack is pretty serious, and as such has a lot of representation on The Shindig.

The year was 1989 and this soundtrack certainly feels that way, bridging the gap between 80’s pop and paving the way for what would be the mainstream explosion of rap the following year. Hats off the the music supervisor’s foresight on that one.

Like any good soundtrack it also consistently reminds one of the movie, as the music is featured so predominately within the film.

The first Shindig cut from that album is Doug E. Fresh’s Spirit. Some people hear it, some people fear it. Some people just won’t go near it.

Dig it.

The Addams Groove

TRACK #32:

The Addams Groove by Hammer

You knew it was coming. Perhaps you groaned, but you can’t tell me this track wasn’t telegraphed.

As silly as it is (and believe me, it’s pretty fucking silly,) The Addams Groove actually has a pretty positive message hidden underneath it’s thin, ridiculous shell. As Hammer states:

Now is the time to get in your mind
It’s ok to be yourself
Take foolish pride and put it aside
Like the Addamses, yo! They def.

Proper.

So, bust out your old hammer pants, do what you wanna do, say what you wanna say. Hell, maybe even kick and then slap a friend…there the Addams Family.

The Crypt Jam

TRACK #24:

The Crypt Jam by John Kassir and Chuckii Booker

In the early 90’s both hip hop and Tales from the Crypt were riding high on the pop culture wave, so it seemed only natural to some sleazy executive to combined these two concepts.

The result is The Crypt Jam, a rather curious musical number that finds our pal the Cryptkeeper inviting us to a “monster bash, if you will.”

The next 3 minutes or so is The Cryptkeeper (voiced by the great John Kassir) rhyming and punning his way through a generic 90’s hip-hop beat.

Even better is the video, featuring our pal dressed up in typical gansta threads of the era, dancing with a dozen or so fly-girls and a coupla pop-lockin’ zombies.

Was it a good idea? Well, The Shindig certainly thinks so, as this type of thing is right up our alley over here. However, that may not be everyone’s conclusion regarding this particular Monster Rap. Either way, the Cryptkeeper’s in the house, and we couldn’t be happier about that.

Monster Talk: Monster Rap?

At some point during the early 80’s rap started coming into its own as a musical genre, at least in terms of pop culture. However, any amount of popularity eventually begets bastardization.

So, some yahoos thought it’d be a swell idea if everyone, and everything, began rapping. And for about 15 years or so, they did. Now, while musically and tastefully that was probably the whackest decision possible, in terms of Halloween Shindig, it’s meant gold. Solid gold.

The first Shindig incarnation had 3 rap songs on it. Not a bad showing for only 700 megs. Over the years however, that amount has more than quadrupled. Hell, you could make a whole CD of just these monster raps (note to self: make monster rap mix CD for car.)

Everything it seems was fair game for the money mill; The Ghostbuster’s are coming hard with 3 entries, Haunted Houses seem equitable and the Universal Monsters are heavily represented.

Even the fiends themselves started grabbing mics; Dracula has rapped; Elvira, The Crypt Keeper and Frankenstein’s Monster, all spittin’ lyrics. Hell, Freddy’s rapped twice, and one of those times was actually Robert England.

Now, these songs may seem corny, ridiculously conceived, goofy as fuck, or just plain terrible, and who knows, maybe they are. But, while they may not be well respected or liked amongst the general population, much love and respect is given to them from the Shindig, where they will always have a non-ironic home.

Monsta’ Rap

TRACK #11:

Monsta’ Rap by Elvira

Coming up next on the ‘dig is a ghoul after my own heart – Elvira.

“Every tricker’s treat” has been making Halloween playlists (or more appropriately, Hallowween albums) since I was knee high to a Gremlin. In total, she has 4 different Halloween albums, and they’re all chock full of great songs, Elvira halloweeniness, and even original cuts from the Mistress herself. And number 11 is just such a track.

Not to be out-done (in any respect), Elvira comes correct with her own brand of referential novelty in Monsta’ Rap, featuring so many shout outs, its hard to imagine fitting them all into only 4 minutes. Seriously, everything from The Thing to Rodan and everyone from Christopher Lee to Barbara Steele gets put on blast here, creating possibly the most referential song on the list. And if that wasn’t enough, Elvira’s rapping it all together.

Merged here with her own introduction for some Halloweeny atmosphere. Enjoy.