TRACK #24:
The Crypt Jam by John Kassir and Chuckii Booker
In the early 90’s both hip hop and Tales from the Crypt were riding high on the pop culture wave, so it seemed only natural to some sleazy executive to combined these two concepts.
The result is The Crypt Jam, a rather curious musical number that finds our pal the Cryptkeeper inviting us to a “monster bash, if you will.”
The next 3 minutes or so is The Cryptkeeper (voiced by the great John Kassir) rhyming and punning his way through a generic 90’s hip-hop beat.
Even better is the video, featuring our pal dressed up in typical gansta threads of the era, dancing with a dozen or so fly-girls and a coupla pop-lockin’ zombies.
Was it a good idea? Well, The Shindig certainly thinks so, as this type of thing is right up our alley over here. However, that may not be everyone’s conclusion regarding this particular Monster Rap. Either way, the Cryptkeeper’s in the house, and we couldn’t be happier about that.
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What are the lyrics to the crypt jam
According the Genius Lyrics they are as follows:
[intro]
(Laughs)
Welcome kiddies
Would you like to dance to death?
All you have to do is come to the Cryptkeeper’s party
A Monster Bash if you will…
Come on down!
[Chorus]
Jam! Jam! Just Jam!
This is the Crypt Jam
[Verse 1]
This is the Keeper, for I have a tasty treat
Inviting you all to a feast
Only the best of fiends can come
We’ll have Skele-tons of fun
So come on down to the Keeper’s zoo
I’m sure it will get grave reviews
Be on time if you can
For this is The Crypt Jam
(Chorus)
Jam! Just Jam!
This is the Crypt Jam
Jam! Just Jam! Jam!
This is the Crypt Jam
[Verse 2]
The Crypt Keeper’s in the house
With a groove that’s nasty & mean
Like the effects of a guillotine
Permanent headache is the mission
For you have entered the Keeper’s terror vision
So everybody just make that dash
A dash to the Crypt Keeper’s monster bash
So come along with the Keeper’s plan
For this is the Crypt Jam
(Chorus)
Jam! Jam! Just Jam!
This is the Crypt Jam
This is the Crypt Jam
Jam! Just Jam! Jam!
This is the Crypt Jam
Yo horns!
[Horn breakdown]
Hack-cent!
Woo!
Alright everybody, come listen to me
Here we go now
Everybody in the house, lemme see you go Psycho!
All the monsters go psycho!
All the people & your friends go psycho!
Everybody in the house go psycho!
Horns!
Everybody hit it!
Woo!
Uhh!
This is the funky breakdown
Hit it!
Dance! (laughs)
This is the Crypt Jam
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh Jam!
I gotta tell ya, it’s just how I am!
[Verse 3]
Keep on dancing just watch the nails
And make sure you don’t step on the cat’s tail
As the excitement grows more and more
Through the night it becomes hard-gore
So don’t miss out ’cause it’s a smash
And dance those feet to a burning ash
There’s no reason for you to scram
‘Cause this is the Crypt Jam
[Chorus]
Jam! Oh Jam! Just Jam!
This is the Crypt Jam
Jam! Just Jam! Jam!
This is the Crypt Jam
Everybody Jam! Jam! Jam!
This is the Crypt Jam
This is the Crypt Jam
Jam! Jam!
This is the Crypt Jam
Dance!