TRACK #365:

Evils of Frankenstein by Choctaw John

Look, we’re reasonable people.

And as reasonable people, we can overlook the fact that there isn’t any actual film called The Evils of Frankenstein

Cause c’mon, it was 1976, after all. Cross referenceable material, albeit available, wasn’t nearly as ubiquitous as we’ve come to expect in our cushy age of instantaneous digital information. Unwittingly adding an “S” to the title of some movie you randomly caught on Creature Features one night…a movie that scared the shit outta you so bad you had to write a song about it…isn’t nearly the worst thing you could do. Who knows, he was probably hammered anyway.

But was this dude even watching The Evil of Frankenstein?

First and foremost, he describes Frankenstein and his hunchback assistant building a creature. This does not happen in The Evil of Frankenstein. Not only does Victor not have a hunchback assistant, he doesn’t even build a creature. They discover Victor’s original creature frozen in ice, ala Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman.

And speaking of ala, of all the Hammer Frankenstein’s to write a song about, you pick Evil? Hammer’s co-opted, financed by Universal “let’s just retcon this whole thing and port the entire Universal aesthetic over to Bray Studios” travesty? Really? C’mon John. Just about every other Hammer Frankenstein is better than that mess.

And to that point, despite being called The Evil of Frankenstein, it’s probably Cushing’s least evil portrayal of the character, and thus the least likely to turn your hair white.

Part of the Universal-ization of Evil extended to the Doc’s entire demeanor, I guess. Cause gone was Hammer’s original and refreshing take, which placed Victor front and center as a villain, a man willing to straight up take life in his obsessive quest to create life.

But hey, maybe he just picked that name out of a hat. Maybe he just liked the way it sounded… after he added an “s” of course.

Cause I mean, he clearly didn’t watch it. And if he did watch it, he didn’t remember it too well. Maybe it just scared the shit so far outta him his mind blocked all the small details like, ya know, the entire goddamn plot. Who’s to say?

But then he changes the channel and lands on some idealized version of House of Frankenstein or some such thing, who knows. We’re clearly in the realm of fantasy here and that’s fine, cause I don’t wanna pick on Choctaw John too much here. I mean, outside of perhaps naming yourself Choctaw John, but that’s a matter for a different website.

For our part, John recorded a great Frankenstein tune and we’re happy to have him. This 7″ also contains the B-side World of Darkness, which is another wild-ass banger chocked to the brim with dark imagery about global nuclear holocaust. Shit, John. I guess when you weren’t sittin’ around getting scared by old monster movies, you figured you might as well just scare the fuck outta everyone else, huh? Yeesh.

Well, thanks for the dark twang, bud. Now go rewatch…or maybe even just watch…The Evil of Frankenstein, will ya? And when you’re done, pop in any other Hammer Frankenstein flick, as they’re pretty much all superior to that pile.