Scream Until You Like It

TRACK #277:

Scream Until You Like It by W.A.S.P.

I’m not sure really which way the Ghoulies winds are blowing these days. I’m not out there on the streets catching the general consensus regarding a 30 year old rubber monster franchise no one with real concerns has actual time to give a shit about.

A quick, but not completely unrelated sidenote: this is my cat named Ghoulie. Seen here when she was just a kitten, hangin’ out with some pumpkins back before this website existed. She didn’t come out of a toilet or anything, but we did find her in a bush. And I’m sure someone pissed in that bush at some point, so there’s that.

Anyway, back to the real, but still fake, Ghoulies.

So yeah, I dunno how people feel about this shit, but if you ask me, I’m a Ghoulies 2 guy all day long.

Now, I would never suggest Ghoulies is high drama. It’s plenty silly. But it’s not quite silly enough, given the context. It takes itself just a tad too seriously for a movie with little monsters raising hell.

On the other hand, Ghoulies III is almost too silly. It’s fun and all, and I like seeing the Ghoulies in a cliched College romp, complete with threats of expulsion, panty raids and full scenes of Kevin McCarthy arguing with rubber monsters. But the concept is taken to its goofy extreme.

Ghoulies IV? That one’s just of a mess of a thing, really. It barely even feels like a Ghoulies movie for the most part.

Ah, but Ghoulies 2? Now, that’s silly in the best and most appropriate way.

Additionally, Buechler’s Ghoulie puppets are a definite improvement the 2nd time around. They look good in part 3 also, but I think I like their look best in part 2.

Plus, you get Royal Dano, genre vet Phil Fondacaro, and that guy from Dazed and Confused that never seems to be in enough shit.

Then they throw all of that into a carnival featuring an animatronic monster filled house of horrors called Satan’s Den? C’mon, what better locale for a movie about demonic little puppet monsters? They tie a guy to a pit and pendulum in front of a roomful of excited children that think its a gag. It’s great. What more do you want?

Well, how bout some rockin 80’s hair metal?

No problem.

Compliments of Blackie Lawless and the W.A.S.P. gang again, here’s Scream Until You Like It.

Where are my tunes!?

Interesting side note, Halloween fans: I just noticed while rewatching Shindig favorite Trick Or Treat, that this is the song Nuke fires up on that fine fine Rocktober morning. Now, I don’t know if everyone already knew this, but I’ve seen that movie I don’t even know how many times and that’s the first goddamn time I ever noticed. Granted, I happened to be editing something for the show using a clip from the movie, and had my headphones on. Perhaps that made the difference. But yeah, Scream Until You Like It can boast being featured in both Ghoulies 2 and Trick Or Fuckin’ Treat?

I might just need to update that Super Soundtrack…

Savage

TRACK #276:

Savage by W.A.S.P.

A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 5 has a pretty notorious soundtrack.

2 Golden Raspberry nominations for Worst Song of the Year, including the recipient of that award, Bruce Dickenson’s unfortunately listless solo version of Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter. In fairness, that was a song even a fully assembled Iron Maiden couldn’t make much better.

The other nominee, Kool Moe D’s Let’s Go, isn’t such a bad song by itself. In the context of A Nightmare on Elm Street though, it does kinda feel like a lazy attempt to rebottle the lightning of Are You Ready for Freddy without any of the referential charm that made that song so great.

2 unspectacular Freddy tracks, to be sure. You won’t be seeing either turning up on the playlist, I can say that. Worst Songs From a Film: 1989? I dunno about all that.

Incidentally, that Kool Moe D song a diss track aim squarely at L.L. Cool J, as apparently the two had been feuding around that time. Way to go, music supervisors Kevin Benson and Neil Portnow. I’ll bet that isn’t the only ball you guys dropped on this production.

Nope, because buried on this soundtrack, almost so’s you wouldn’t even notice, is this pedal-down metaller from Blackie Lawless and the boys of W.A.S.P.

Savage, a preexisting W.A.S.P. song, is totally wasted in the film, playing only briefly as an ambient background track during a graduation pool party at Springwood High.

It’s even more of a waste knowing the following scene finds Dan being attacked in his truck by Freddy while listening to the radio. What a perfect time to utilize this perfect, 4-on-the-floor rocker that was just playing mere seconds earlier.

It’s even more of an inexplicable waste once you consider that immediately after this, Dan jumps on a Yamaha VMax and it turns into Moto-Freddy at top speed. This song is literally about driving the open road on a motorcycle…like a savage. A fully squandered opportunity.

But, that’s probably a microcosm of The Dream Child as a whole, which is easily my least favorite numbered installment. A rushed production, edited deaths and multiple script revisions all coming together to form the sort of under-cooked mess that is Freddy’s 5th outing.

Don’t get me wrong, like any Elm Street, it’s got some great moments. It’s got the aforementioned Moto-Freddy scene, a largely likeable cast, Super Freddy and his AH-HA dream sequence. But, attempting to illuminate Freddy’s origin, it’s seemingly desperate inclusion of a pregnancy, it’s nonsensical ending and it’s lack of any real Elm Street kids just make it definitely feel like Freddy in decline.

So, let’s unearth the goodness of W.A.S.P.’s unfortunately buried Savage. Let’s put it on Halloween Shindig’s open road of sprawling, horror-paved blacktop, so it can finally ride free.

Don’t dream and drive!

I’m No Animal

TRACK #275:

I’m No Animal by Felony

Welcome back Weeners, to the abundant musical bosom of Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives.

When we last saw Court and Vicki, they were being assaulted to the smooth sounds of Alice Cooper‘s Teenage Frankenstein.

But we’re gonna jump back in time here a bit, to just before Court starts bombing down Forest Green Drive in Horrace’s RV. It is here, in that same RV, that couple takes part in a time-honored Friday The 13th tradition – banging at Crystal Lake.

Of course, this is never a good idea when Jason’s on the prowl, which he most certainly is if we’re allowed access, but that has never stopped any of these promiscuous youths before.

Here’s the big guy as he tries to make heads or tails of this RV’s a-rockin’.

Providing the beat for that rockin’ is none other than Graduation Day’s own Felony.

Times have changed a little in intervening years though and they sound just a bit different. A little less Doobie Brothers and a little more Kenny Loggins.

Court just has to make it through the song here, and he’s home free. Vicki tells him it’s only 10 more minutes, which wouldn’t be far off if this was Gangster Rock. Fortunately for Court (and us,) it’s I’m No Animal, and it’s only 3 and a half minutes.

And for Court, it’s even shorter, cause Jason pulls the plug on this ugly-bump inside of a minute. Good call.

Understandably, Vicki’s a little freaked out by this. So, Court hits the gas and gets them speeding away from any trouble. Only Jason’s already stowed himself away on the RV, and now he’s just biding his time.

And we all know how that ends for them.

But Court and Vicki don’t. So, let’s allow them one final, blissfully unaware moment of lust before their Friday fates are sealed. And let’s let Felony set the mood.

Here’s I’m No Animal.

Gangster Rock

TRACK #274:

Gangster Rock by Felony

And now back to Graduation Day…

Some songs that appear in horror movies aren’t referential. That’s OK. Some of the best songs on the playlist are purely inclusive. Fast As a Shark, Goo Goo Muck, Angel of Death. All great.

But sometimes they’re more than just not referential. Sometimes they seem totally out of place. But even that’s OK. Everybody But You, Computer Date, Love Is a Lie. Still good stuff. In fact, I’d argue they’re the backbone of this playlist.

Most often, you’ll get these if a band makes a surprise cameo in the movie, playing their tune live at a party or a school dance. Usually this is a nice treat, like Maria Videl in Once Bitten. Sometimes it’s a dirty trick, like The Offspring in Idle Hands.

And just as much might be the case with LA Rock outfit Felony, who are performing at the titular dance in the the film Graduation Day. Their song Gangster Rock seems just a little out of place.

But I get it. It makes plenty of sense that a band would perform a completely innocuous song that’s totally unrelated to the horrific goings-ons around them. Goings-ons of which they are completely unaware. It’s perfectly reasonable. Logically, I might even say it’s preferred. Why would a band, playing a normal Graduation Day dance be playing some spooky or otherwise horrifying jam?

But that’s inner logic. The outer logic is you’re a music supervisor and you should theme it up. And if you’re gonna hard pass on that, at least grab a better song than fuckin Gangster Rock. Which, while not the terrible (I mean, I am including it) is far from the best.

Classic rock fans will immediately note its flagrant similarity to a much more famous song called China Groove by the much more famous Doobie Brothers. Seriously, is this China Groove? It sounds exactly like China Groove. In fairness though, it’s probably the song’s saving grace. Making your tune sound like a more famous hit isn’t the worst move you can make. More famous have engaged in more overt and made more money doing it. So hey.

But more importantly, even under a favorable light, Gangster Rock overstays it’s welcome. Well overstays it.

Now, I could be mistaken, but I doubt Gangster Rock is a 7 and half minute song. But it keeps playing, in almost comic mockery, for what appears to be an impossible amount of time for a song of this nature.

It starts innocently enough, with Felony adorned in some vaguely prohibition-era mobster attire, playing live on stage while kids cut a rug and…roller skate? Sure why not, it’s 1981.

And that’s all well and good for a spell, but the song just won’t end. It powers on, rebelling against all previous notions of pop-rock architecture, approaching an, I’d almost say Prog-Rock level, if it weren’t so blatantly repetitive.

Ultimately, it gets dragged over poor Linnea’s Quigley death at the hands of an aggressive bee-keeper. Wait, he had a sword. Hmm, I’m gonna say he was a fencer. It’s easy to get confused with Gangster Rock stabbing at your cochlea.

Since I couldn’t track down an official release from Felony containing Gangster Rock, I’ve grabbed it directly from the film. However, for the sake of your own sanity, I’ve employed some clever editing to spare you it’s ungodly runtime. Cause no one should be ask to deal with almost 8 minutes of Gangster Rock. Hell, even the 3 and change I’m subjecting you too here is of suspect length.

So grab a fencing mask, strap on a pair of roller skates and do the China Groove…I mean Gangster Rock.

Too Far

TRACK #273:

Too Far by Jim Cushinery, Ken Brown and Michael Linn

For the salacious among you, it may be of interest to know that Night Screams provides some much needed nudity no less than 10 seconds into it’s runtime. Not a record I’m sure, but disarmingly quick.

Eagle-eyed slasher fans could be forgiven for thinking it all looks very familiar. That’s not surprising, because you’re actually just watching Graduation Day, an act you’re sharing with 2 of Night Screams characters. And you’re gonna see more.

It’s a strange move, but not the boldest move Night Screams has on offer.

Seems that none of the film’s actresses signed on for getting buff, so director Allen Plone (Phantom of the Ritz) judiciously added in random clips of nudity to make up the difference. He even went as far as to use some actual pornography. Nothing graphic, but still.

You’ll be treated to classic porn icons like Seka and Honey Wilder. You also get Linnea Quigley, but only via the Graduation Day clips. You also get Bobby from The Karate Kid, but he doesn’t get naked.

You’ll also get, at no extra charge, a sometimes amusing, but largely yawn inducing, late-in-the-game slasher that can only be recommended to either completists or the terminally bored.

But, as you’re well aware, there must be some great music to be had, or else what the hell are we talking about, right?

Well, of a sort. There’s a good amount of garbage 80’s sub-rock on display and I think that’s definitely worth noting. Additionally, I rather enjoy the score for Night Screams. It’s minimalistic, synthy and very 80’s. But that’s not what we’re featuring here today.

What we’ve chosen to highlight for the playlist is a bit more poppy. It’s my favorite of the low budget tracks featured in Night Screams, but it really only appears briefly during the film.

Then unfortunately, the movie ends on some lethargic trumpet jazz you wouldn’t even use to put your fish to sleep.

But wait, what’s happening here? Night Screams has decided to show each of its low-rent murders again during the credits for no particular reason? By God, it’s another bold move. Wait, the trumpet music is fading…c’mon play it..play it….

And then it starts. The exact song I was looking to include. Sometimes you get a fortuitous lie. In this case, it’s an untitled Track I’ve given to calling Too Far.

Performed (I guess) by Jim Cushinery, Ken Brown and Michael Linn – the credits aren’t terribly specific. Their names are attached, but only generally speaking.

But the killings keep going. Oh man. What’s happening now? Oh, they’ve decided to replay some more of that budget rock. Ah, I remember this one. It’s that song from the night club called Chill Out. Hmmm.

Yeah, I’ll just pull the cord on this right here I guess. I think including Chill Out too might be going Too Far.

The Stuff Medley

TRACK #272:

The Stuff Medley by Larry Cohen

I love The Stuff. You probably do too. The Stuff is great. It kills all the bad things inside us.

Larry Cohen’s 1985 send up of consumer-culture plays like an Invasion of the Body Snatcher for the Reagan Era.

It’s fun and light, yet still decidedly unsettling. Maybe that’s because, despite its outlandish premise, its various parts feel so completely believable. You can actually imagine everything playing out this way, should an invasive alien organism present itself as a tasty new dessert. From the corporate feeding frenzy, to the social obsession, to the aggressive marketing campaign, The Stuff’s absurdity feels genuinely authentic.

Which leads us here. There’s no shortage of commercial jingles in The Stuff. There’s even a pretty fantastic extended track about The Stuff. Unfortunately as of yet, despite my longing, this song has not presented itself in isolation.

So, I’ve taken the 2 instances of the song featured in the film and tried to splice them into something resembling a complete version.

Additionally, I’ve surrounded it with other Stuff related promotional material, just for kicks.

Hey, is that Ave Vagoda? Yep.

Graduation Day will be right back after a word from our sponsor.

Enough is never enough!

The Winner

TRACK #271:

The Winner by Lance Owg, Gabriel Rohels & David Cole

Whenever I throw on an 80’s slasher flick I’ve never seen, I want it to sound exactly like The Boogeyman. It lets you know, right out of the gate, that a certain vibe is headed your way. The shoulders relax a bit and you can settle right into that warm, grainy fuzz of analog era horror.

In the event that the movie doesn’t sound like The Boogeyman however, I want it to sound exactly like Graduation Day; the sort of upbeat, discoed-out answer to that sound.

Can you beat this song? Sure. There’s a whole host of of better songs. There’s even better songs that have started off other horror movies. But if you’re giving me some B-grade horror movie bullshit, raise the flag. And it’s a short list of songs raising that flag higher than The Winner.

Listen to this thing. Are you kiddin’ me with this song? Lance Owg (which is a great name by the way) teams up Gabriel Rohels and David Cole to produce a song so suited to its surroundings, so perfectly a product of its era, so seemingly at odds with the movie, yet so wonderfully in tune with it, that you almost have to stand in awe.

Played over an extended slow motion montage of a highschool track and field competition, it’s priming you for an evening of go-for-the-gold and give-it-your-all horror. Whether Graduation Day makes good on that promise is a bit dubious. Ultimately, that’s up to you, but I like it well enough.

From 1981, right in the thick of the action, it skimps ya a bit on the gore, but there’s plenty of hallmarks here for slasher lovers to embrace; sub-par acting, strange behavior, a live rock band performing at a dance (more on them later) and, of course, some nudity.

In fact, The Queen herself, Linnea Quigley, was cast to replace an actress that would not fulfill her contractual nudity clause. And when you’re in a tight spot, you need to bring in a big gun, and our girl Linnea’s about as big a gun as you can get. Maybe not in 1981, sure, but in retrospect, it’s a serious pull.

Sorry. Linnea gets me sidetracked every time. What were we talkin’ about again? Oh yeah, a song. And a questionable song, to say the least.

Is this a song people wanna hear? I dunno. I doubt it. It’s a song I wanna hear and that counts for something, I think. At least around here, anyway.

Is it a song people are gonna associate with Halloween? Probably gonna go with a big “no” on that one too. But there’s no shortage of songs like that on this playlist.

Is it a song your party goers are gonna wanna hear on Halloween? 2+2 still equals 4, so this one, maybe not such a big hit at the party. Though certainly danceable, you can’t deny.

But, is it Shindig Material? Oh, you better believe…it’s a winner. The Winner, in fact.

And everybody wants to be the winner.

Hear the Engines Roll

TRACK #265:

Hear the Engines Roll by Ian Sera

Let’s hang out here for a little longer on The Satellite of Love and listen to a couple more choice cuts from Mystery Science Theater 3000’s 11 year reign of terror.

Perhaps the most famous of the terrible songs Joel and The Bots had to sit through was Hear the Engines Roll, also known as Burning Rubber Tires, from the bizarro Spanish E.T. knock-off, Extra Terrestrial Visitors, also known as Pod People.

Idiot Control Now (as Joel and the bots sing in their parody) serves as a nice respite from some of the heavier and darker songs populating this playlist, and I actually kinda like it.

I dunno. It’s fun, catchy, and hearing it just makes me happy. It kinda reminds me of Everybody But You from Night Train to Terror, which is another song that kinda just makes me happy to hear.

Maybe that’s familiarity, or MST3K nostalgia, or just a general disregard for my own well being. Call it whatever you’d like, just don’t get me wrong here, cause there’s no doubt this is an awful song. It’s just an awful song I like hearing. But it’s still awful.

And Pod People itself isn’t any better. Strange puppets, stranger voice dubbing, and one overly enthusiastic young weirdo. It also features Trumpy, the bizarre anteater E.T. named after our President, Donald J. Trump. I keep hoping someone will Deepfake Trumpy into a Presidential debate or some shit, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. Get on that, Interent!

However you may feel about this song, or this film, it’s makes for some great Satellite of Love fodder, and it has definitely become an MST3K fan-favorite. I have to imagine at least some of that can be chalked up to this strange tune.

Now, I don’t know about you gang, but I got a sack of monkeys in my pocket, and my sister’s ready to go!

Idiot Control Now!

Kiss Kicker ‘99

TRACK #264:

Kiss Kicker ’99 by The Fontanelles

When it comes to 80’s Party Monster Movies (read: Gremlins rip-offs) I don’t know if there’s a more joyless entry than 1988’s Hobgoblins.

I mean, it is good for a laugh or two, sure. And it’s certainly not the most horrendous thing you could watch, not by any means. But good it is not.

And I don’t think that’s the Hobgoblins fault. Ok, they aren’t all that fun, nor do they have much in the way of personality, you got me there. But c’mon, they aren’t given a whole lot of screen time to really develop any magic, or work what little magic they have. And it’s a shame, cause this movie could have used all the help it could get.

Naw, Hobgoblins doesn’t have much going for it, and tragically, its under-featured creatures are perhaps its finest asset.

However, it does feature a band trying to put it out there on celluloid. In this case, it’s The Fontanelles, whom we have the pleasure of seeing perform at Club Scum.

Of course, “pleasure” here should be taken with a grain of salt. I think, given their surroundings, the film could have done a lot worse than pull The Fontanelles, a band that seems to need Hobgoblins a lot less than Hobgoblins needs them.

If you’re a Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan, then you’re probably already aware of Jean Paul Sartre and The Heartbreakers Bosch Separatist Rock hit Pig Sticker. Mike and the Bots don’t have many options when powering through something like Hobgoblins, and The Fontanelles’ performance of Kiss Kicker ’99 is ripe for the picking. The guy practically chicken dances with a goofy hat and you can barely tell what he’s singing. It’s totally understandable and an enjoyable distraction.

To be fair though, I think this song ain’t half bad. In fact, it’s a far cry better than Hobgoblins is, that’s for sure.

Oh no! We got movie sign!!

Danger Zone

TRACK #263:

Danger Zone by Fist

Hey, what gives? You’re gonna include some whatever-ass Metal song and just gloss over Motörhead?

Yep, and I’m about to do it again.

Cause listen, we’ve all heard Ace of Spades. Nobody reading this right now doesn’t know Ace of Spades. Quite frankly, you’re probably all sick of Ace of Spades. Never mind the fact that no one is associating Ace of Spades with this movie or even Halloween. So, forget Ace of Spades. You’ll hear it on the radio soon enough.

More importantly though, for my money, the Zombie Nightmare soundtrack doesn’t get any better than Danger Zone.

Nope, not the Loggins classic, but rather this choice thumper from Canadian metallurgists Fist.

In fact, Fist’s Danger Zone predates the Giorgio Moroder composed Top Gun hit by at least an entire year. No real matter though, as Wilson Pickett recorded a song called Danger Zone in 1966. So whatever to claiming on that, ya 80’s upstarts.

If you’re watching Zombie Nightmare, you may note that The Twist ‘N Creme plays an unnaturally prominent role in the film. A lot of stuff happens there, and this Fist tune can be heard loud and clear as car-hop Susie shuts in down for the night.

Unfortunately, she’s about to be accosted (again) by our old friend Jimmy “I Can’t Drive 35” Batton. He leans into yet another unrelenting string of juvenile innuendos regarding his inordinately large dick. The classic art of woo.

Susie is not amused. You might be though, at least that is until Jimbo flips the rape switch and shit gets weird.

Thankfully, our dead-signated Hitter Tony Washington shows up and shoves a softball bat straight through Jimmy and saves that day.

Way to go Zombie! Gotta love a movie that lets you root for the Monster.

Halloween Shindig

The Horror Fans Halloween Playlist

The 80’s