(I’m The) Mummy

TRACK #213:

(I’m The) Mummy by Long Tall Ernie and The Shakers

While we may not be entirely sure who the fuck The Wolf Man actually is, we can safely say we know exactly who The Mummy is, and his name is Long Tall Ernie.

Dutch rockers Long Tall Ernie and The Shakers started out life in The Netherlands in 1968 as a band called The Moans, which they later changed to simply Moans.

These guys were all a bunch of jokers I guess, because during live performances The Moans would go offstage halfway through the set and re-emerge as a sort of spoof act called Long Tall Ernie and The Shakers. As The Shakers, The Moans would play traditional Rock ‘N Roll from across the pound…as they probably don’t say over there because that’s a definitely a British phrase.

Whatever they say, these guys never found much success as The Moans, but people seemed to love Long Tall Ernie and his Shakers. No problem for them, they just said “fuck it” and changed the band completely to Long Tall Ernie and The Shakers and started knocking out albums.

One of the last of those albums, from 1979, was Meet The Monsters. While maybe a little late in the game for this brand of Shock Theater styled rocking , being a direct goof on 50’s Rock ‘N Roll sensibilities, it only makes perfects sense that these jokesters might eventually release a full on novelty Monster album.

And god bless ‘em, because they threw on a song about the Mummy, and those aren’t exactly spilling out of the sarcophagi.

The Mummy is a bit underrepresented in the Monster Song game, at least when compared to Bash Brother’s Dracula and Frankenstein. Even the Wolf Man, or at the very least, Werewolves, are getting more at-bats than The Mummy.

And rightfully so. Of the Big 5, you’d have to slot this bozo 4th.

The Wolf Man-Dracula-Frankenstein lineup is a veritable Murderer’s Row when it comes to Monstering and popularity. Them’s just the breaks, kid. These dudes are batting 1000, mercing fools left and right and you’re over there lumbering around all slow, reaching at people, looking for some a lost lover or purloined artifact or some shit.

You don’t think you belong 4th, band-aid breath? Come at me. I’ll take you the fuck out, Rudy style, without even breaking a sweat. Frank’s tossin’ me straight into a river, I got nothing for a walking corpse quilt of those measurements. The Wolf Man’s probably ripping my gentials straight off and God help me if Dracula’s got any of them bimbo’s in tow, cause I’m a goner. You? You’re getting unwrapped up quick.

But enough calling out of probably imaginary Monsters. Let’s get back to Long Tall’s take.

For some reason, The Mummy here sounds like any numbers of novelty Dracula’s or weird Igor fashioned character. Seriously, why does The Mummy sound like this? I understand these guys are Dutch, but surely they realize this is not a voice associated with The Mummy, right?

But maybe that’s the problem. Is any voice really associated with The Mummy? What is he supposed to sound like? Egyptian I’ll wager, at the very least. You do have Karloff just Ardath Bey-ing it up, and maybe that’s what they were going for here, cause you could claim this is a voice approaching Boris.

Either way, this is a fun Novelty Monster song about a guy we don’t get to hear too much about. And in regards to Meet the Monsters, it’s a great Monstrous album that deserves a full listen, if you’re into that sort of thing. An album we certainly haven’t heard the last from around here.

I’m The Wolfman

TRACK #212:

I’m The Wolfman by Round Robin

For our next nerve racking number, we have a rockabilly classic of monstrous proportions.

This moon lit hit is attributed to a fella named Round Robin. Problem is, there seems to be some debate among Rock ‘N Roll aficionados as to whether this song was actually recorded by Round Robin or by its author, Baker Knight.

This doesn’t concern us however, as we aren’t that kind of nerd. We’re a different sort of nerd. So, let’s just say it’s Round Robin, a sort of Chubby Checker wannabe who tried to start his own dance craze out of The Slauson, which some of you may know as a street in downtown L.A.

Unfortunately for Robin, The Slauson (in any of its forms) failed to capture the American public’s imagination the way Chubby’s Twist had. But it certainly wasn’t for a lack of trying. Robin gave it a go with Do The Slauson, Slauson Street, Slauson Shuffletime, Slauson Town and Slauson Party.

What can I say, dude loved him some Slauson.

However, if you listen to any of Round Robin’s catalog and then give I’m The Wolfman a spin, you’re liable to come to the same conclusion as our Rock ‘N Roll Nerd contingency…

“Yeah that’s not the same guy at all.”

…because they sound totally different.

Either way, whoever is really rockin’ the mic here, I’m The Wolfman is a surefire Shindig inclusion that’s sure to get some hairy feet a-movin’.

The Monster Club

TRACK #211:

The Monster Club by The Pretty Things

On the surface it might seem like The Monster Club and Halloween Shindig would go hand in hand; a horror anthology starring such genre vets as Vincent Price, John Carradine, Donald Pleasence and Britt Ekland, that has tons of fun monsters and masks plus numerous monster related musical numbers? It’s a no brainer, right?

And it’s true, we love The Monster Club. It’s kinda like Night Train to Terror, only it’s coherent and cuts back to different and actual songs. It has a fun premise, with 3 solid monster vignettes and a spooky, synthy score.

So what’s the problem? Where’s the “but” that has kept this blog for talking about it for 7 years now?

That, dear readers, is my own prejudice against those same monster related songs. I kinda hate them. I don’t want to, but I kinda do. I want to love them. I want to include them all and have wanted to since the beginning. But I’m just not a huge fan.

I’ve tried, over the years, to warm up to them but the love just never seems to flows out of me. They have this late 70’s/early 80’s British new wave, pseudo-reggae, Clash meets The Police vibe that neither suits the movie, the songs or me, despite their monstrous leanings.

Because I think it needs to be represented and because I do quite enjoy the film, Halloween Shindig has decided to include the tune I’ve warmed up to the most. Performed on camera by The Pretty Things, it also happens to be (perhaps not so incidentally) the film’s Title Track.

After discussing over 30 different Title Tracks across 6 or so hours on the podcast, how did we not mention this one? Well, as we noted, there’s a mountain of Title Tracks and we had to keep some in our pocket, no? Leave a few surprises for the blog still, right? And we may even have a few more up our sleeve this year.

Additionally, this seemed like an appropriate way to kick off the season and usher in a monster block of Monster Songs, which have been sorely under represented as of late.

Lead in here with Vincent Price’s overly long (and overly awesome) laundry list of solid reasons the Human Race deserves to be represented in a club full of horrible monsters.

So, fellow Shindiggers and Humans…

Welcome to The Monster Club.

The Salem Witch Trial

TRACK #186:

The Salem Witch Trial by Kiriae Crucible

Since Christopher Lee’s over here talking about The Salem Witch Trial, let’s follow that up with a song about The Salem Witch Trial, aptly titled The Salem Witch Trial.

This rockin’ piece of obscure psychedelia comes from none other than Kiriae Crucible, a band (or hell, even just a lone dude) that I can seem to find absolutely no information about at all.

Any web search for Kiriae Crucible will undoubtedly return this song, an seemingly only this song, the various compilations that contain this song, or places in which you can hear…this song.

Well, Halloween Shindig now proudly joins the ranks of places at which you can also hear this song but find no other information regarding Kiriae Crucible. If you were led here looking for such information (though I sincerely doubt it) then I apologize for being just another repository with absolutely nothing new to offer.

I will say this, though. The 45 above is curiously adorned with the name “Erickson,” which might lead you (as it did me) to wonder if it was not penned (and perhaps even performed) by Halloween hero, Shindigger and all around way-out-cat Roky Erickson.

Beats me though, as a cross-reference of the 2 also returned no results for me.

Bummer.

Anyway, if you do happen to be reading this and actually have information regarding Kiriae Crucible or this song, please leave a comment below or forward said info to ed@halloweenshindig.com. Thanking you in advance, your assistance is greatly appreciated.

For everyone else, just sit back and enjoy this random-ass song about The Salem Witch Trial by a random-ass band (or dude) known simply as Kiriae Crucible, a name which I’m still not even sure how to pronounce exactly.

I Put a Spell On You

TRACK: #184

I Put a Spell On You by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins

Here’s a Halloween staple the blog has managed to avoid for, oh I don’t know, 5 years or so. Which is odd, considering it’s an original member of the very first Shindig CD from 2002.

Perhaps Rock ‘N Roll’s first Shock Rocker, Screamin’ Jay Hawkins used to be just plain, old fashioned Blues singer Jay Hawkins. In fact, I Put a Spell On You was originally written and recorded as a love song. It was producer Arnold Maxin at Colombia Records who can take the initial credit for creeping things up, deciding the song needed a darker tone. He proceeded to get everyone shit hammered drunk during the session and Hawkins has stated he has no memory of even recording that 1956 version. Man, that’s a little bizarre. Is some more music industry warlocking afoot?

Famous Cleveland DJ Alan Freed can probably be blamed for the rest, offering Jay $300 dollars to emerge from a coffin on stage. Jay didn’t like the idea, reportedly saying “No black dude gets in a coffin alive…they don’t expect to get out!” But alive he went, and out he came just fine, with all the voodoo accoutre ma that came to define his on-stage persona. Jay Hawkins was now officially Screamin’ Jay Hawkins and the rest was history.

Or was it?

Despite being edited by Colombia Records, many stations banned I Put a Spell On You for what was perceived at the time as overt sexuality. This was 1956 after all. And despite ultimately selling over a million copies, the record failed to break onto the billboard charts. The song itself would be a bigger hit for just about every other singer that covered it than it was for Hawkins himself, with white artists making the charts on it’s back only 10 years later. This was 1956 after all.

When coupled with friction Jay found with the NAACP regarding his “racially stereotypical” appearance, one can understand and appreciate Hawkins satirical album “Black Music for White People,” which should probably be in the running for one of the greatest album titles of all time. Though many found it to be the opposite, it could be argued that Jay’s reticence to conform to an acceptably “white” appearance was itself in fact transgressive and confrontational to the white audiences that reveled in his performances. Stereotyping and the NAACP be damned, Screamin’ Jay Hawkins wasn’t gonna whitewash his act for anyone.

Still, Jay harbored bitterness toward the fact that these schlocky gimmicks were what ultimately brought him notoriety, and often blamed them for why people wouldn’t take him seriously as a vocalist. He would re-record this track on several occasions over his long career, each time shifting the tempo and either dialing back or amping up his vocals. But, it is the 1956 version (honestly, not even the most outrageous and oft-heard version) that we include here on the playlist.

However Hawkins felt about his fame, or whether or not he received it for the right reasons, he remains a massive influence on not only Shock Rock, but on hundreds of artists, not the least of which being Shindiggers like Alice Cooper, The Cramps, Nick Cave, The Misfits and Screaming Lord Sutch. And not simply for his outlandish stage persona or appearance, but for his unique talent and that wholly original and genre-defining (and defying) style.

Jay Hawkins died following an aneurysm on Feb. 12th, 2000, exactly 44 years,…to the day…that he recorded this version of I Put a Spell On You. Ya know, that strange drunken session he couldn’t remember…

A spell indeed.

Spooks

TRACK #181

Spooks by Louis Armstrong

Welcome back Weeners! It’s been a while. Well, that is unless you happen to be reading this in 2021 or something and just moved on to the very next post. Chances are you’re not reading this at all though, so that really doesn’t matter that much.

Anyway, the Season of the Witch is upon us once again!

And here to kick off the march to Halloween is Louis Armstrong with some words of warning to all of us this holiday season.

He’s serving up one swinging haunted boogie that just gets my foot tapping. Seriously, I love this song. It’s got a great spooky vibe and some really fun word play, all delivered with Louis’ famous throaty growl.

Now, if you’re finding it a bit difficult to enjoy a song from 1954 where a black man repeatedly belts out a popular racial epithet, I’m not exactly sure how to assuage your feelings of unease.

All I will say, is that apparently Louis didn’t have a problem with it, and I’ll wager that slur was actually used toward him directly, perhaps even many times, during his life in early 20th century America. That’s good enough for me.

It’s perhaps a bit easier to understand in context. Back then, the word “spook” found much more association with ghosts and horror than it does now, no doubt because of it’s offensive application.

This was in part because of The Midnight Spook Show, a precursor to the Midnight Movies and Horror Hosts of the 60’s and 70’s. But we’ll talk about that more a little further down the road.

For now…

Beware a dem spooks…spooks…spooks!

The Monster Mash

TRACK #171:

The Monster Mash by The Krypt-Keeper 5

Born from the same scuzzy streets, Foodland chipped ham and shitty, 3-story apartment building in “downtown” Monessen, Pennsylvania that also gave birth to Halloween Shindig, The Krypt-Keeper 5 and this playlist go together like apples and caramel.

A band of bored FX students joined forces in the winter of 2005 to cut a Christmas album. Deck My Balls: Seasons Beatings from The Krypt-Keeper 5 was a substantial, 28-track package of punk covers, originals, re-workings and Christmas classics.

Featuring the vocal stylings and ivory work of a man you may be familiar with; sculptor, mask-dork, punch-technician and friend of The Shindig, Mikey Rotella.

Rhythming it up behind him were bassist and 4th Keeper Chuck Hendershot (aka Klaus Satan Von Chudberg), Timmy “Tiny Timminy Grinch” Estes slinging a six-string, and Todd Russell Parker McCulloch filling in with drum fills, guitar licks and just about anything else required.

They even played a couple of shows which, for any of the poor souls trapped in the Monongahela Valley, was probably the freshest air they’d ever breathed. Unfortunately, The Shindig never got to see them perform live, as it had moved on to the good life out in California’s beautiful San Fernando Valley by 2005. However, we can all pretend like we were there thanks to the miracle of modern video.

Yeah, that’s great an all, but the last time I checked this was Halloween Shindig. Why the fuck are we sitting here, 3 days before Halloween, talking about a goddamn Christmas album?

Well, that’s because buried deep within this seasonal offering is another kind of festive shanty, and it’s the 5’s take on a Halloween Classic, The Monster Mash.

And when Monessen’s own sons, The Krypt-Keeper 5, take on All-Star Boris Pickett’s seminal Halloween hit, there’s nothing but room for them on Halloween Shindig.

So, c’mon Weeners! Join Dracula, his son….and the wolfmaaan…for this take on the timeless graveyard smash.

Hauntedween

TRACK #150:

Hauntedween by Ernest Raymer

What better place to bring our Haunted House Rockin’ block to an end than here, at the Berber House with Hauntedween, a Haunted House Halloween Title Track? Why, that’s a Great Pumpkin! A haunted occasion indeed!

While not a real haunted house, The Berber House is just a festive Haunted House, or rather a Haunt, which has hitherto been unrepresented in our block.

A staple of the season since well before I was brought to this plane of existence, The Haunted House is as much a part of Halloween as Trick-or-Treating, Jack O’Lanterns and slutty costumes.

High school kids in rubber masks weave through a thick mist of dangling limbs and fake fog, looking for their next mark.

Disorienting lights strobe to the beat of pneumatic pistons firing foam jump-scares.

A chainsaw is perpetually chugging somewhere, sometimes roaring to life, but from where, you couldn’t say.

Grown adults tip-toe around dark corners, weary of things they know aren’t really out to get them.

The nervous shriek, the tough guys almost instinctively punch and the weirdos laugh uneasily.

Some are good and some are terrible, but they all have that same smell, that same vibe, the same excitement, and you should always treat yourself to at least one visit a season.

If you live around Southern California, I highly recommend Reign of Terror in Thousand Oaks. Skip Universal, Knotts and The Griffith Park Hayride, and check that place out.

Hauntedween is a low budget affair filled with that same sort of passionate home-town charm and love for the holiday you find in local Haunted Houses, and it features a killer lying in wait at just such a local Haunt. You can read The Shindig’s write-up here!

This Title Track (which it is gracious enough to provide us) plays over a montage of the Sigma Phi frat boys rebuilding the old local Haunt in preparation for a holiday fundraiser to save their fraternity!

It may be awkward to say, and it may not make one bit of sense, but here it is all the same…it’s Hauntedween!

Someone’s dying to start the show.

Haunted Cathouse

TRACK #147

Haunted Cathouse by The Nekromantix 

What Haunted House tour would be complete without a stop at a haunted whorehouse?

Here’s a psychobilly banger from The Nekromantix which has the guys reminiscing about the good old days, ya know when they got free blowjobs from weird creatures at this spooky brothel.

I lead the song in with a clip from Blood Sisters, Roberta Findlay’s late-era slasher where some sorority sisters are challenged to spend the night in…a haunted whorehouse!

With Roberta’s name and the plot outlined above, you’d be forgiven for thinking you were getting into some top-notch 80’s slash-sleazery. Unfortunately, you’d be mistaken, and probably fairly disappointed by this scavenger hunt, genre mash-up which delivers little in either haunted house chills or hack-n-slash thrills.

It’s not even terribly sleazy either, which is a pretty hefty sin for a movie about a haunted whorehouse where a bunch of sorority girls are having a sleep-over.

Oh, well. At any rate, here’s The Nekromantix describing a house which would have been much cooler than the one we get to see in Blood Sisters.

Terror (In the Haunted House)

TRACK #146:

Terror (in the Haunted House) by Blitzkid

Though they share titles, I’m not entirely convinced Blitzkid was inspired by the film Terror in the Haunted House to write this upbeat spookster.

See, Terror in the Haunted House doesn’t really take place in a Haunted House. I suppose House on Haunted Hill doesn’t really either, but it at least it pretends to. Terror in the Haunted House doesn’t even do that.

What it does do however, is attempt to bug you out with a bunch of subliminal messages and images cut into the movie. They called this gimmick “Psycho-Rama!” which sounds way cooler than it actually is.

The look of these messages is pretty goofy. They’re actually kind of distracting and not at all effective. Take a look. I’ve slowed them down for optimum perception!

Not so spooky. Hell, the later ones seem pretty aftermarket. Particularly this red snake one, instructing you to “Rent Rhino Videos Everyday.”

Yeah, pretty sure prints didn’t ship with that message in 1958.

No, Terror in the Haunted House is more like a psychological thriller than a horror, and not an entirely ineffective one at that. A bit silly sure and no doubt more than just a little Castle-esque, but it is occasionally somewhat sinister and intriguing.

Mostly though, it’s just a snoozer. And with the absence of any fun ghosts or phantasmic goings-ons, 100% missable.

So, let’s just enjoy this spooky spin from Shindig All-Stars Blitzkid. It’s shorter and a lot more fun.

Haunted House

TRACK #145:

Haunted House by Chris Kevin and The Comics

Well, here’s another Haunted House song inspiredly titled Haunted House. I suppose you can’t fault anyone for directness, or at least maybe you shouldn’t, especially not Chris Kevin or his Comics.

So, who are Chris Kevin and The Comics, you ask? Oh, you didn’t ask that just now, reading the above lead-in? Hmm, well indulge me for a moment as I pretend as though you give a shit.

Turns out I have no idea. None. And I couldn’t find much in the way of information regarding these guys on the old Internet either. Maybe one day some other goofball will be searching for information on Chris Kevin and The Comcis and stumble across this hole and shriek out in hope. Not bloody likely, and then not exactly helpful to him, as I have no damn information for that guy either. Sorry guy.

Curiously though, despite the frivolity suggested by Chris’ band’s name, their Haunted House is perhaps the least silly novelty song the Shindig’s ever run across. I mean, they’re not even trying to make this shit funny.

Quite the contrary in fact, as this song actually leans more toward religious cautionary tale about the dangers of a Haunted House. Well, the dangers of not living “right,” anyway (read: probably heterosexually.)

Your soul will be all caught up and burning and so on and so forth, you know the drill. What this has to do with a Haunted House, I haven’t the slightest idea, but if you enter this one, I guess you’ll be damning yourself for whatever reason.

Seems a little arbitrary though, no? Suppose you’re planning on battling the evil forces on behalf of Christ while you’re in there? Suppose you were selling Bibles door-to-door? Suppose you just happened to breakdown in front of this particular house and needed some assistance? That doesn’t seem like the sort of thing that should damn your eternal soul. But you’re ok, cause you got that whole “living right” caveat working for you.

So, don’t blow any dudes inside the Haunted House, have any premarital sex, light any joints or read any communist propaganda, or shit I don’t know, touch yourself or something – whatever the hell passed for not living right in 1959. I’ll bet it didn’t include gender reassignment surgery, or locking up an 8 year old in a basement for 9 years, I can tell you that much.

But hey, let’s keep this light, huh? This is a novelty song from a band claiming to be The Comics, whoever the hell they may actually be.

Haunted House

TRACK #144:

Haunted House by Jumpin’ Gene Simmons

Here’s a dusty old ditty that proves folks have been fascinated with Haunted Houses for well over 50 years.

From Jumpin’ Gene Simmons comes this lighthearted tale of terror with an upbeat tempo from 1964. However, this song was originally recorded by Johnny Fuller in 1959. If we’re being honest, we prefer Johnny’s version quite a bit more than Gene’s. It’s faster, more bluesy and Johnny sings the thing with a lot more character. It’s just more fun in Johnny’s hands. Have a listen – you be the judge.

However, we’ve “officially” opted to include Gene’s version on the Shindig for 3 reason:

1. It appears on Elvira’s Haunted Hits (and Vinyl Macabre for that matter)
2. It’s a little more polished and user friendly.
3. KISS’s very own Gene Simmons took his stage name in tribute to Jumpin’ Gene, and that’s pretty great.

Despite starting his career with legendary Sun Records and opening for Elvis Presley, this was Jumpin’ Gene’s only Top 40 hit, and it made it all the way to #11! Not bad for a silly novelty song about a haunted house. I guess people were into that sort of thing back in 1964.
What a world. I can’t picture anything even mildly resembling this song performing as well in 2017.

In fact, check it out at your next Shindig. See how a modern audience reacts to this little rockabilly spookster. My guess? It won’t make it to #11 with any of your guest.  But it definitely makes it to at least #144 here on Halloween Shindig.

Amityville

TRACK #143:

Amityville by Lovebug Starski

In 1985, rap pioneer Lovebug Starski (best known widely for, well this song) decided it’d be a good idea if he just recorded some random track about Amityville. Not for any Amityville movie mind you, but rather during a 5 year lull in the franchise (3D having been released in ‘83, and Curse not for another 4 years.)

Hell, he didn’t even make it in reference to the movies really, but just cause he thought it’d be fun I guess and maybe even a hit.

And he was right! This sucker broke the Billboard Top 20 in ‘86, which means that, for a period of time in America, people were legitimately rocking out to this song. Which is totally understandable. This song is awesome and weird as shit.

Starski uses the real Amityville legend (I guess?) as a sort of jumping off point for some crazy-ass song about a vaguely Haunted House where nothing much happens, but everybody visits.

A Karloff-esque butler greets Starski upon his arrival, then later Dracula shows up for no good reason and raps. Now, that alone is plenty of reason for Amityville to make the cut for every Halloween party playlist ever created.

And as if that wasn’t bizarre enough though, just for the hell of it, Captain Kirk, Scotty and Spock arrive at one point to talk about Starski over the spooky beat. I’m sorry, what? Why? This song is fucking nuts.

Apparently, looking at the 45 sleeve above, you’ll note the record came complete with a “Free Black Hole,” ya know, for all the “time-shift special appearances.” I guess at least they tried to justify this nonsense with some kind of acknowledgement. Not sure if that makes it more or less weird, though.

So take a drive out to Amityville. You know, the house on the hill. You just make a left, then you make a right and……Amityville!

The Haunted Mansion Theme

TRACK #141:

The Haunted Mansion Theme by Buddy Baker & Xavier Atencio

I’ll start this off with the perhaps blasphemous admission (particularly considering my Southern California residence) that I have never been to Disneyland. I’ve heard every reaction, so feel free to engage in whichever one comes most naturally to you.

It goes without saying then, that I have also never been on The Haunted Mansion ride. Though, if I were to visit the happiest place on earth, it would probably be for the explicit purpose of doing just that.

I have, however, heard its theme song an innumerable amount of times and it’s pretty damn Halloweeny, so I would be rather remiss to omit it from a playlist such as this.

There’s a lot of great voice talent on display in this old, fun tune from the 50’s. It’s great to think a song this old still plays in the halls of The Mansion some 60 odd years since its inception.
In a world that perpetually moves on, upgrades and reboots, it’s just nice to know Eddie Murphy isn’t cackling his way through some Rick James produced ghost-rap. Though honestly, having just type this out, that actually sounds pretty fucking awesome. But the Mansion is still better off without such nonsense, regardless of how much I desperately want to hear that song now.

I’ve collided the tune with the ride’s own spoken intro for a little extra spookiness. So grab a hatbox, your death certificate and don’t close your eyes! It’s time for Disney’s Haunted Mansion!

Monster Shindig

TRACK #122:

Monster Shindig by Danny Hutton

The last time I checked this was a fucking shindig.

But what is a shindig, exactly?

Well, Merriam-Webster defines shindig as follows:

ˈSHinˌdiɡ/
noun informal

a social gathering with dancing

a usually large or lavish party

Google definitions had this to add:

a large, lively party, especially one celebrating something.

Now, if you listen to any of the turkeys over at Urban Dictionary, they’d all have you believe a shindig is a small affair, consisting of anywhere from 5 to 20 people. One bozo even suggests it can contain no more than 12!

That’s why Webster’s is Webster’s and these idiot kids are logged into Urban Dictionary from their mom’s laptop.

No one better try curtailing our shindig, particularly not because some dildo in the cafeteria uses it improperly. No, we’re going definitive with our socially lavish and lively gathering that’s celebrating something.

And around here, that something is Halloween, which encompasses jack-o-Lanterns, trick or tricking and and all sorts of spooky shit of a generalized nature. That definitely includes Monsters.

From Hanna-Barbera’s 1965 record of the same name, Monster Shindig looks to muscle in on Boris Pickett’s racket by throwing their characters Super-Snooper and Blabber Mouse into the mix, stumbling upon just this type of haunted jamboree.

The cat and mouse team doesn’t show up in the song however, leaving this bizarro tune free to roam around the streets on Halloween night.

So, let’s have a party…big big big and kick-off the second half of our playlist right, with another kind of shindig, performed here by Danny Hutton, who some of you may know as one third of Three Dog Night.

Bring a ghoul-friend and go berserk!

Thriller

TRACK #119:

Thriller by Michael Jackson

Thriller.

That’s it. That’s pretty much all there is to say.

I’m gonna say more, naturally, but I thought it was worth noting that that’s all anyone really needs to say.

“Thriller. That’s what’s next.”

“Oh, ok. Sure. Of course it is.”

If anyone at your party has a reaction any less than the one I’ve described above, they don’t deserve to be celebrating Halloween. Take their mask, steal their candy and egg them back to the Stone Age.

The last time I checked (which was yesterday) Thriller was still the biggest selling album of all time. What? That’s crazy. It’s 33 years old, how is that still true? It’s cause it’s Thriller, that’s why.

For no mere mortal can resist…and so on and so forth. Probably some horrible music industry warlock bullshit, you ask me. Stick that into your Google and search it.

But I digress.

Thriller’s reach far extends that of the horror genre, Halloween or this playlist. It literally extends to just about anyone who ever lived on this planet during the last 33 years and has functioning ear drums. That’s how huge it is. It’s the biggest thing on this playlist. It’s the biggest referential track ever recorded. How? How was such a niche song this fucking huge?

Well, I’d say it’s more the album than the song itself. Both Billie Jean and Beat It trump it in the singles department, no question. Thriller itself never hit number 1, staying in the Billboard 100 for 14 weeks but topping out at number 4.

You could make an argument for Ghostbusters being a bigger hit, as it was legitimately a number 1 record. But I’d say that’s about it. Nothing else comes close. Though as much as I love Ray Parker Jr.’s Title Track (definitely the biggest Title Track ever recorded) it’s not quite Thriller. Though both were contemporaries that changed the way music was conceived, created and sold, Thriller still has a little something extra. That extra is no doubt Michael Jackson.
Though that’s to say nothing of the video, revolutionizing the young media form and setting a standard I still think has yet to be matched.

From Rick Baker’s werewolf transformation to his zombies, to the choreography, to the eerie quality with which John Landis imbues the whole proceedings. It’s unmatched and a Horror fan’s dream video.

And it scared the living shit out of me as a kid. Having greater access to the Thriller video than most horror movies, it absolutely haunted me. The werewolf transformation was an initial jolt. Then Michael suddenly becoming a zombie just fucked me up. What!? He was just singing to her, now he’s a zombie?

Though even more terrifying was that once the music stopped, the horror movie started. The girl taking refuge in the abandoned house and Michael and his zombie horde busting through every inch of it to get at her. He was just Michael Jackson! They were friends! Now he’s trying to kill her! That level of broken trust rocked my young mind.

Ah, but it was all a dream! There’s Michael. “What’s the problem?” He asks. A sigh of relief washes over me. It’s all ok.

But then, the absolute kick in the nuts. Finally, once I feel at ease again, there he is, turning around and looking dead at me with those fucking werewolf eyes. Holy shit….it’s not ok. Freeze frame. And a child’s nightmares were born. It still sends a little shiver up my spine every time I see it, all these years later.

The 3D Viewmaster I had as a kid didn’t help either. Remember Viewmasters? They looked like this:You held it up to the light and clicked through a wheel of stereoscopic photos.
We had a giant, Talking Viewmaster that looked like this:
It was cool pretty cool. The wheels were larger, scan-tron like cards and had audio accompaniment. For this Talking Viewmaster, we had this:

A few Christmas’ back, my mother had pulled the old boy out for my nephews to play with. I hadn’t seen it in years. I immediately recalled my youthful terror and scrounged for the Thriller cartridge. I needed to see it; the image that haunted me all my life.

Sure as shit it was there. And sure as shit, it still gave me the creeps. Holding it up to the light, I perched my phone as close to the eyepiece as possible. I needed to capture this.
Holy shit.

As an adult, It’s obvious to me that Ola Ray and Michael are clearly having fun and chuckling to themselves while taking these photos. Fright is at a minimum, but damn it if that wasn’t the scariest shit I ever saw when I was 7. I had to flick passed. Nope. Couldn’t handle it. Still trips me out.
But anyway, back to the actual song. Of course you have Vincent Price, adding his singular voice and an air of authentic late-night 50’s horror double-feature flair to the entire affair. That mixed with the lyrical references and allusions all wrapped up it a supremely dance-able 80’s rhythm that no mere mortal can resist.

Each one of these facets gives Thriller its collective undefinable quality. And it’s a quality that all understand, as everyone at your party is about to dance. Seriously. I don’t care who they are or what they’re doing; drunk, high, tired, newly arrived, mid-conversation, about to leave, taking a piss – don’t matter. Just watch your guests, this song comes on and people flip the fuck out. It might take a second for everyone to register what’s happening, but once it does, that’s the ballgame, jack. Maybe it’s all that warlocking.

Leaving this one off your Halloween playlist is absolutely unconscionable. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that If you asked 10 random people on the street for just 1 song they associate with Halloween, I guarantee every one of them will name Thriller.

It’s close to midnight…

The Monster Mash

TRACK #117:

The Monster Mash by Bobby “Boris” Pickett and The Crypt Kickers

Around Halloween, dozens of internet outlets will cough up a dozen or so songs they think you ought to play at your Halloween party. The more enterprising sort might even toss you a couple you didn’t think of or haven’t heard before. The too-cool-for-ghoul-school nitwits’ll even attempt to buck convention with some underground hits which barely qualify and have little to no business playing at your party.

Invariably though, most Halloween playlist fakers tell ya the one thing you should never even consider playing at your party is The Monster Mash; so horrifically lame, so dreadfully passé.

I read one list that even had the audacity to claim it didn’t conjure up any feelings of fright. Are you serious? It’s a novelty song…about a bunch of monsters…having a party. Of course it doesn’t conjure up any feelings of fright you fuckin’ nimrod, it’s a joke.

They also went on to suggest I play Disturbia by Rhianna.

They shouldn’t be allowed to make Halloween party playlists and they certainly shouldn’t come up on the first page of a Google search.

Moreover, they included The Freaks Come Out At Night by Whodini. Who-fuckin-Dini! They have a song called The Haunted House of Rock, which is played at a Halloween Dance in a movie titled Trick Or Treat. F minus to your bullshit suggestions.

These people are idiots. Don’t listen to them.

Is The Monster Mash played out? Of course it is. It’s 50 fucking years old and the only time anyone ever plays it is at Halloween.

Can you’re Oct. 31st spare 3 and half measly minutes for The Monster Mash? Yes it can and you should take off your fucking mask in reverence for the Halloween National Anthem. The fucking heathens…..skip The Monster Mash….skip your passing interest in a holiday that didn’t need your bogus suggestions. Can’t even find The Shindig in a Google search on the matter and I get these bozos telling me to pass on The Monster Mash.

Ok, if you’re offering up 10 suggestions, I can seeing glazing over it in lieu of a few songs that people are less familiar with. Should have made it 13 songs and showed a little class. Even still, what’s 13 songs? You throwing a party for an hour?

Saw a list of 25 once. Could have just made it 31 and been a bit more festive. Still ain’t handling the job of party DJ.

That’s why Halloween Shindig exists, to rebuke these johnny-come-latelies and offer up a list of serious suggestions; to encompass all and handle the task at hand. Does anyone need a 12 hour Halloween playlist? Probably not but it’s here and growing longer each year. I hope to one day have 24 hours worth so your Halloween couldn’t possibly fit anymore music.

You only need to fill 4 hours? We’ll hook you up 3 times over again. Only want a party filled with Monster Raps? No problem. Here’s 2 hours worth.

Is Love Is A Lie very Halloweeny? Not at all but it’s in Friday 4 when Crispin Glover dances like an idiot and that’s the kinda Halloween party some people are throwing. Not your Shindig? There’s 230 other songs to pick from but it should be represented, just like The fucking Monster Mash should be represented.

To hell with your non-festive, non-referential garbage pop. Play that shit at your wedding. Tonight is Halloween and you should be playing the goddamn Monster Mash.

The Monster Squad

TRACK #116:

The Monster Squad by The Monster Squad

Since we all know and have just addressed with whom you’d contact over telephone wires should it become apparent that you in fact have harmful apparitions approaching, let’s task listeners with a similar question:

Yeah, but who do you call when you have Monsters?

That’s right. And at last we come to The Monster Squad. From the very first CD in 2002, The Monster Squad has been a permanent fixture of Halloween Shindig and remains one of my favorite selections on the playlist.

Granted, I may be a bit biased but this song is representing hard. Let’s check the stats:

Is it about a horror movie?
Check, it’s about the goddamn Monster Squad.
Ah, yes, but is it in the movie?
In it? Motherfucker, it’s the Title Track. Triple check that shit.
We talkin’ bout Monsters?
Fuck yeah we are. It’s like a goddamn monster mash up in this motherfucker. Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, the Wolfman, the Mummy, the Creature from the Black Lagoon. That’s the big five, son. Throw in some sexy vampire chicks, a grotesque bat transformation and a werewolf exploding out of the sky and you’ve got some real monster shit on lock. Check + to Monster Song.

What more could you ask for? Well, they even mention Halloween too. Sure, it’s to illustrate how this ain’t Halloween (or some phony deal) but we’ll just look that other way on that one. They say Halloween and damn it if that ain’t all that matters sometimes.

Now all of that sounds like a Referentially Inclusive Monster Halloween Title Track to me, gang.

That’s Great Pumpkin status right there.

And it’s a Monster Rap to boot? Holy shit, is there anything this song can’t do?

One of the most ridiculous tracks you can imagine, The Monster Squad was suspiciously recorded by some anonymous collective of Hip-Hop Demigods that chose to remain nameless. What?!

Why the hell anyone would elect to do this is so far beyond the scope of my imagination it boarders on madness. If I was responsible for this song I’d put it on every job application I ever filled out.

2 years as an Assistant Hanger Inspector for Sears and Roebuck.
4 months as a Substitute Wigsmith at The Downtown Clownery.
Oh yeah and I wrote the motherfucking Monster Squad Rap. What’s up?

From a time when everyone thought something like this was a really great idea, The Monster Squad (for anyone thinking otherwise) is a really great idea.

It’s is pretty whack? Yeah, I guess so. If you wanna be a jerk about it.

Is it poorly conceived and equally executed? Yeah, I suppose I’d have to concede that fact too, if you really want this to be a frank discussion about musical integrity.

But fuck that discussion and fuck you for wanting it pal, cause this song fucking rules. It’s a rap song about a group of kids fighting The Universal Monsters. Oh, did you not catch that? It’s a rap song about a group of kids fighting The Universal Monsters. Whomever is responsible for this song should be a cultural icon. They should have a fucking Grammy and an Academy Award.

Instead, (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing took the honor that year. All right, fair enough. Maybe that’s a better song, but it lacks the lyric:

“We don’t wanna hang with the walking dead, so we gotta kick some monster butt instead.”

What’s up now, Academy of Arts and Sciences?

Looking into this travesty further, I discovered the competition that year was actually pretty stiff. Check this shit out:

“Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Jefferson Starship from a little film called Mannequin.
Bob Seger’s “Shakedown” from Beverly Hills Cop II
“Storybook Love” by Willy DeVille and Mark Knopfler from The Princess Bride

Damn, that’s a solid 80’s line-up right there. Maybe I spoke too soon. Still, it should have been nominated at the absolute least. Who the hell is still talking about Cry Freedom 26 years later?

No one, that’s who.

But I digress.

An interesting side note to this song: the original version I had on the 2002 CD was pulled from my old VHS copy of Monster Squad. Incidentally, this was later signed by Tom “The Gillman” Woodruff Jr. Coincidence? I like to think not.

This version of the song contained the line:

“First came Dracula, now the Wolfman too, The Mummy and the Gillman swimming in the pool.”

What? Why did that roll call just fall the fuck apart?

Hear that sample below:

I always thought this was a pretty strange and horrendous line, particularly when they could have just as simply said “and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.”

But I guess they couldn’t say “and the Creature from the Black Lagoon,” for the home video release. Damn copyrights.

All things considered, that’s not a bad save. Syllabically sound, it even sort of rhymes, at least no more or less than the original false rhyme. But damn is it silly. Who the fuck is the Gillman? Why are they calling The Creature from the Black Lagoon “The Gillman?” And why is he in the pool? Did I miss a scene where he climbs out of a pool? Why did he just say that?

Upon upgrading the tune for better quality many years later when The Monster Squad finally saw a DVD release, I noticed the line was suddenly changed to “and the Creature From The Black Lagoon” and I thought “Shit, that must have been the original lyric. How about that.” Now, I just feel sort of nostalgic for the old, butchered scab.

But I’ve spoken too verbosely about all of this as is, so let’s just make with the goods, huh?

One of my favorite songs on the playlist from one of my favorite movies of all time. Here it is….The Monster Squad.

Night of The Demons

TRACK #109:

Night of the Demons by 45 Grave

Great Pumpkins are few and far between, so to stick two so close together is indicative of the kind of block where in here toward the center of our hallowed playlist.

At last count there were four total; two tried and true Halloween Pumpkins, one Monster Song Pumpkin and another by way of Devilish Track. That’s the bases covered, doubly so in that The Monster Squad is also a Monster Rap.

This one though, this one is the gold standard. This is the one which inspired the category. This is the one by which all the others are measured, and even they fall short of the Shindiggery on display here. If the playlist had its own theme, it would probably be this song.

It’s not necessarily may favorite song on the Shindig (though it would definitely be up there), nor do I mean to suggest it is the best, but it’s so exemplary of what this playlist is all about that it beggars belief. Horror Movies, the music from them, the referential Rock ‘N Roll about them and of course Halloween, all succinctly served in a 4 minute sonic stew.

Is it any surprise that such a song should come from 45 Grave? Not to this guy it doesn’t, and when I first heard it back in 2010 my jaw dropped and I immediately shouted “Holy shit does this song need to be on the playlist.”

But because nothing could be that perfect, naturally, there’s a catch. In this case (and it’s perhaps a bit of my own prejudice rising to the surface) it is the caveat that the song is that comes from the the Night of the Demons remake. Which is a solid soundtrack, to be sure, but a terrible remake. Moreover, it was a terrible movie in its own right. However, as a remake to one of my favorite Halloween movies of all time, it’s even worse.

So, to balance out that factor, I’ve book-ended it with samples from the original, because, how could I not? This song could have been on the original soundtrack. It should have been on the original soundtrack . So let’s just pretend it was.

And with that, 45 Grave and I invite you to drink, get stoned and party all night, for the demons come alive on Halloween.

Dead Man’s Party

TRACK #91:

Dead Man’s Party by Oingo Boingo

Well, it wouldn’t be much of a dead man’s party without Dead Man’s Party, now would it?

A classic and obligatory party playlist inclusion, no Halloween would be complete without at least one go-round to Oingo Boingo’s certified horrified hit.

No frills, no samples, no nothing. Just Dead Man’s Party.

Enjoy!