Aside for his contribution to Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers, and this (almost) title track for the 3rd installment, I’m not sure there’s a whole lot of info floating around about 80’s rocker John Altyn.
I guess he wasn’t a fan. As you’ll hear in the song, that “Same old story” part toward the end was John taking a little jab at the script for Teenage Wasteland, which I guess he thought was pretty lame.
Can’t say I blame him really. As a franchise, Sleepaway Camp was never all that compelling, and I think there’s a little bit of a noticeable dip for the 3rd installment. And if you’re familiar with Sleepaway Camp IV’s troubles, or have ever seen the ret-conned and wildly uneven bootquel Return to Sleepaway Camp, you know things didn’t follow an upward trajectory.
But as far as late cycle slasher films go, it’s honestly not terrible. Pamela Springstein’s Angela is still very charming and is a pleasure to watch as she does her best here to have some fun with the overtly campy material.
The kills are all rather lazy and not terribly explicit. It takes place almost exclusively in broad daylight and all at a very leisurely, almost blase pace. It’s not to be taken all that seriously though, and for that we can cut it a fair amount of slack. It’s the Angela show, and for that it works well enough.
This song however, is pretty kick ass. It’s a “sweet song,” used during the end credits of the film. This is a term I just learned from John himself in the above interview, and will henceforth use constantly. In fact, I may even update The Shindig categories and add Sweet Songs. I love that this has a term, and there’s tons of them all over The Shindig.
Here’s the Sweet Song from Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland, John Altyn’sSleepaway.
You’re Just What I’ve Been Looking For (Angela’s Theme) by Frank Vinci
Let’s take a little canoe ride from Camp Blackfoot across the lake to Camp Arawak for a 2 days overnighter with Angela Baker at Sleepaway Camp.
Mostly known for having the creepiest fuckin’ side-swipe ending of any generic Friday the 13thknockoff, Sleepaway Camp spawned several sequels and holds it own as a franchise that was able to climb out of Jason’s long shadow.
I’d love to post a gif, but I’d hate to spoil this for anyone that’s never seen it.
Ah, fuck it. This shit is 35 years old. If you haven’t seen this by now, I don’t know what to tell you, it’s just gonna get spoiled. Cause we can’t talk about Sleepaway Camp without talking about this ending. It’s the only thing that really differentiates Sleepaway Camp from any number of faceless Friday clones.Horrifying.
Seriously. This shit still gets under my skin all these years later.
I had the fortune of seeing Sleepaway Camp long ago enough so that is wasn’t spoiled for me, and at an age where it could do maximum damage. And it did.
With the benefit of hindsight and the ever shifting opinions of a thankfully progressive culture , Sleepaway Camp tends to be filed these days as a crass artifact of Transphobia, much the same way De Palma’s Dressed to Kill is now criticized.
And the argument is certainly tenable. If the image of a someone presenting as a female but also having a penis was not frightening to you before, Sleepaway Camp certainly goes to some lengths making sure it forever will be. But, while I think that certainly supports an argument against the film, I think you can also cite some those same lengths as reasons why it isn’t perhaps wholly Transoygnist.
Like any good horror tale, Sleepaway Camp takes a social phobia (right or wrong) and uses it as a basis to create horror for its audience. I’m not sure the film is saying anything overt about that fear though. Is it exploitive? Definitely. But I don’t think it’s an out an out condemnation. But maybe that doesn’t matter. It’s certainly not sympathetic, but films from the early 80’s rarely were toward minority concerns. I don’t think that afford’s Sleepaway Camp a full-on pass, but maybe a modicum latitude in context. We can’t expect art of the past to reflect attitudes of the present, but we needn’t aggrandize harmful and outdated representations either.
Because you could (and many do) argue that simply using transgenderism as a source of horror is wildly insensitive. You could also argue that by making a transgender character a violent and horrifying freak because of their transgenderism, and then having the other characters react as such, is just flat-out irresponsible and transphobic. Thus you could easily condemn the entire film for perpetuating a negative cultural view of transgenderism as a whole and that would be totally valid.
I think part of Sleepaway Camp’s potential defense though, could be that Angela’s transgenderism does not come from within her, but from an external source. She is forced into it by her adoptive aunt. Being abused into identifying as any gender against your will is flat out wrong and itself horrifying. Almodovar’s similarly criticized The Skin I Live In also comes to mind here.
Considering this, one might argue that Sleepaway Camp is perhaps even pro-transgender rights; a cautionary tale of the dangers (figurative or literal – mental or physical) of forcing anyone to present as a gender which with they do not identify. Maybe the biggest takeaway from Sleepaway Camp, intentional or not, is to just let people be who they are instead of forcing them to be who we believe them to be. We are not them.
Additionally (for me anyway) the least horrifying aspect of this ending is the reveal of Angela’s gender. Sure, it’s part and parcel to the whole scene and its endurance, but there are several elements at work which give this scene its haunting quality. You could say they are thus making the transgender reveal horrifying, hence the argument against it. But I would say they are the factors, and not the reveal, which actually make this scene so horrifying. That might just be splitting hairs though.
Firstly, there’s the music. The piercing brass stabs are enough to set your teeth on edge by themselves.
Then there’s the build up. It’s abrupt and clumsy, but Aunt Martha’s characterization is so over the top and cartoonishly creepy, it is enough to give you the willies in context.
This is then followed by Angela’s guttural moaning. She says nothing. There’s no pleads of innocence, no explanations, just a heaving and animalistic breathing that send shivers down my spine still.
Then, the most effective part of this sequence, that wide shot. While this of course features the gender reveal, it is Angela’s frozen gaze which I’m most disturbed by here.
This shot was made possible by life casting actress Felissa Rose’s face in the making of that same horrifying look. Then, they turned that cast into a mask which was worn by a male actor. For me, this is the most upsetting part of the whole reveal; Angela’s static expression, made doubly creepy (and doubly static) by this horrifying mask.
It’s just stays there, frozen. And then the film freeze frames on Felissa Rose’s actual face and rolls the credits.
Credits over which you will hear this Shindigger, a creepy synth pop number seemingly written specifically for the film.
So, whether or not this ending, or Sleepaway Camp as a whole, is something you find totally offensive and reprehensible, you can’t deny that it causes a deep emotional response, and that is something you don’t always get from this sort of lower-tier, copycat effort. And maybe that alone is worth the legacy.
Here’s another classic example of referencing a horror classic without actually talking about the movie at all, from Shindig All-Stars and referential magicians, The Misfits.
Sure, it might be called a Horror Hotel, but God knows what Danzig’s actually talking about here, because it’s not the 1963 Christopher Lee film.
What we do know is that it’s definitely about a hotel and some bad shit’s going down there, maybe even some horror. Particularly in Room 21, where all the underworld scum seem to congregate. Can’t say I know of any specific Room 21s from horror lore, but I’d be open to suggestions about what other references Glenn might be bandying about. Though I’ll wager it’s probably used simply because “Room 36” doesn’t rhyme with “scum.”
But that was sort of Glenn’s deal. Name a song after a classic movie and then whip up some lyrics that sort of jive with the mood that title conjured. Unless of course you’re talking about Return of the Fly, which basically reads like a Videohound entry of the film of the same name, right down to listing of its actors and characters.
None of that really matters though, does it? I mean, at least not where The Misfits are concerned. Personally, I rather like that these songs are less overt in their referential nature. Something like Blitzkid’sCandyman lacks any of that artistic (?) subtlety, opting to bludgeon you with lyrics so simple and childlike, it sort of takes something away.
You get none of that from Danzig and Co., and as such are gifted that wonderful space of ambiguity and interpretation.
Plus, it give us the opportunity to cram that space with plenty of samples from the song’s namesakes. Couldn’t do that if they just named the song Room 21, now could we?
Speaking of Seasons of the Witch, here’s a song tailor made for the occasion.
Many years ago, while discussing the film Highway to Hell, I stated that simply naming your film after a preexisting song does not automatically quality that song to be a Title Track.
I said this because the song Highway to Hell only appears in the trailer for the film, and not in the actual movie, something I think is important. And while I don’t think that makes it a true Title Track, it’s definitely enough scratch to get a seat at the table.
Though George A. Romero may well have named his film after the Donovan song, he utilizes it to great effect during a montage of noob-witch Jan White procuring magickal supplies from her local witch shop.
You know, that weird store you have right around the corner with the creepy eyeball sign, filled with crucibles, bejeweled daggers and strange smelling shit?
Oh, you don’t have one of those in your town? Well thankfully Jan does, cause she’s gonna need to gear up if she wants her dick spell to work on the young Professors she’s been eying.
I don’t, however, recommend playing with Black Magick. I’ve yet to see one film where that works out in anyone’s favor.
Although, in fairness, it doesn’t not work out for Jan, now that I think about it. She might accidentally kill her husband, but that guy was kind of a douche, and she didn’t really like him anyway. So, I guess you can play with Black Magick and have everything turn out ok.
I still wouldn’t recommend it, though, cause that’s pretty rare.
Here’s Donovan’s classic Halloween witch hit, elevated to Title Track status by George A. Romero.
In 1987, after struggling to work within the studio system and the unfortunate box-office performance of Big Trouble in Little China, John Carpenter decided to go rogue once again.
And rogue indeed, producing a straight-faced and strange (maybe even ahead of it’s time) film that I can’t imagine any major studio green-lighting. What emerged was an atmospheric, dread-drenched affair of Science converging with Religion to prove the existence of God.
Or perhaps more appropriately, the existence of Satan.
Sub-atomic. Moving within the atoms of things, where logic need not apply. Liquid evil. A green, putrid substance filled with all the abominations of the earth.
It was captured and sealed up long ago. A race of Humanoid Aliens, of which Jesus was a member, kept watch. But the truth was hidden. Wrapped in metaphor and buried under ritual.
Now, in light of our faithlessness, it has awoken, and it wants control.
I like Prince of Darkness. It’s a little talkie, sure, and maybe a tad slow, but I don’t mind. I could listen to Egg Shen spout off about theoretical physics all night. Donald Pleasence is solid, even if he feels like he’s just plugged in from The Devil’s Men, and A.J. Simon is only distracting if you actually used to watch Simon and Simon, which you probably didn’t. The supporting players do a fine in their respective roles, including Carpenter regulars like Victor Wong, Peter Jason and Dennis Dun.
And, once the scientists start being slowly absorbed by the evil and the hobos begin to gather, John turns on the gas a bit.
Speaking of the street people, Alice Cooper jumps in to play the pale-faced, beanie-rockin, head-hobo. He even kills a dude with a rusty, old bike. A dude who happens to be listening to this very song on his Walkman….meta.
Seems this bike was Alice’s own personal prop too, as he used to do this gag live during his stage show. Now thats pretty bitchin’.
Here’s reigning All-Star Alice Cooper rockin’ again with the patented Title Track Prince of Darkness.
How does one follow up The Ultimate Experience in Grueling Horror?
Well, if you’re Sam Raimi, you revisit the same basic concept and style, crank that shit the fuck up and call it “The Sequel to the Ultimate Experience in Grueling Horror.”
Fair enough.
You also create one of my favorite horror experiences of all time.
Well, if you’re Halloween Shindig, you take a page outta Sam Raimi’s book (of the dead), use another death metal song, this time about Evil Dead 2, follow the same basic concept and style, and crank that shit the fuck up!
And with that spirit firmly in mind, Halloween Shindig presents Deicide’sDead By Dawn, or The Sequel to the Ultimate Experience in Grueling Metal!
From 1985’s made-for-TV Halloween bonanza The Midnight Hour comes this creepy curio with so much mid-80’s budget-pop pizazz it even features a Soundwave-styled vocoder performance. Radical!
Harry Belafonte’s daughter, Shari (pops wasn’t big on creativity, I guess) stars in the film and sings this tune, perhaps fashioned after the recent mega-hit Thriller.
In fact, the whole project seems to be an attempt to cash-in on Michael’s occult success; semi-spooky, family friendly, monster-mash madness with a throwback, 50’s drive-in flare. And this tune, an ensemble dance number staged at a Halloween party, appears to be the piece-de-resistance.
Though clearly made for TV and a little toothless, The Midnight Hour is still an enjoyable and festive addition to anyone’s October line-up. It’s even a fair bit more creepy than something you’d imagine was just made for TV.
You’ll get some fun guest appearances too, from the likes of Spaceball’s King Roland, Clarence Boddicker, that one guy from 21 Jumpstreet, UHF’s R.J. Fletcher, Yori from Tron and The Reading Rainbow Dude who wore that bitchin’ visor on Star Trek. Studded. (Yes, I know it’s LeVar Burton. And it’s Peter DeLuise, too. Yeesh. I’m being causal, stop ruining it!)
Plus, there’s tons of Halloween ambiance, creepy Thriller-Lite graveyard scenes, a lot of cool make-ups and FX, a bunch of fun Halloween costumes, more monsters than you can shake a stick at and this kickin’ ‘digger. What more could you want from an October evening’s Televison adventure?
Freddy Krueger: What can be said about the quintessential 80’s man-specter that hasn’t been said a thousands different times by a thousand different nerds? Who am I to pretend like I’ve got some groundbreaking shit to drop on you? I’m no one, and I don’t, so I won’t. I’m simply another nerd with a foolishly myopic blog, so I’ll just stick to the script.
Freddy (whether I’ve said this before or not I can’t recall) is the reigning champ of horror tunes. He owns the 80’s pop-music-via-monster-icon scene. The guy even cut his own album. He’s all over it.
Jason comes close, but the Friday people didn’t fully climb aboard this particular train until part 6, and they never really bought a ticket. Freddy was shoveling coal in it’s boiler room.
And from the jump too, as even his first outing got its own little referentially inclusive tune in the form of 213’sNightmare.
Well, who the fuck is 213? Apparently they’re no ones, as no one seems to have any information on these guys. Well, aside from the painfully obviously “they were some local LA band that provided this track” or the goofier and obviously nonsensical “they were Johnny Deep’s band” theory.
Whoever they were, they’ll go down in the Shindig’s book as they guys who churned out that thoroughly apropos end credit song from the original Nightmare On Elm Street, and baby, that’s enough.
So, up yours with a twirling lawnmower,…whatever the hell that even means.
Speaking of Paul Williams, let’s take this moment to segue right into one of Horror’s most beloved rock operas, Brian DePalma’s 1974 pitch-perfect send-up of the entire recording industry, Phantom of the Paradise.
Elements of Faust, Phantom of the Opera,Frankenstein, Portrait of Dorian Gray and even a little Dr. Phibesare all fused together to tell a tale of love, betrayal, fame and revenge set to the backdrop of the doped-out, sinister 70’s music scene.
Williams scored the entire film for DePalma, and stars as Swan, the unscrupulous producer who collects talents and souls for his Death Records label.
Phantom of the Paradise is unique, visually arresting, kinetic and humorous all in equal measure. From DePalma’s active camera, to Gerritt Graham’s flamboyant Beef, to Winslow’s killer Phantom disguise, to Swan’s bitchin’ giant, record-shaped desk, to the parodist music, to the satire – everything here just works, and works so damn well.
Even getting Rod Serling himself to handle the opening narration is like a stroke of genius.
Here we have the film’s final track, a rocking little number played over the picture credits, that has all the seeming of Satan himself speaking directly to Swan.
If you’ve never seen Phantom of the Paradise, give this pop-rock-horror-satire a spin this October. And if you already love it, watch it again, just for the hell of it!
While fairly understated and never quite as rousing as it seems like it should be, The Devil’s Men is a somewhat worthwhile endeavor, if only to see card-carrying good guy Peter Cushing all cloaked out and evil, raising a 10 foot, fire-breathing Minotaur statue he calls “lord.”
Oh yeah and all the creepy , robed Minotaur worshipers.
Oh yeah and them all exploding at that end. That shit is pretty awesome.
But it’s mostly worth seeing for the grooviest title track this side of Scream and Scream Again, which incidentally, Cushing also appears.
Paul Williams performs this number, but apparently not the same Paul Williams with whom many of you may be familiar with from his performance in and musical contributions to, Brian DePalma’s Phantom Of The Paradise. Naw, this is some other Paul Williams. Which is unfortunate, but not terribly surprising, as this Paul Williams doesn’t sound much like that Paul Williams.
But props all around anyway other Paul, cause this one’s a doozy.
However, much like the last 2 cuts in this True Title Track block, someone had it out for The Devil’s Men, someone who sucked at their job.
See, they took the movie and retitled it Land Of The Minotaur. Which (while in and of itself is a cool title) seems pretty unnecessary, particularly during the 70’s satanic panic where one would imagine a film called The Devil’s Menmight play just fine.
They also saw fit to removed a bunch of violence and all the nudity. Seriously? What’s next? Did they cut out an awesome Title Track too?
Yes! That’s exactly what they did, and they should be tried and hung for the successive severity of their crimes.
So, if you’re gonna watch The Devil’s Men, make sure you watch The Devil’s Men, and not Land of the Minotaur, cause it doesn’t have a whole lot going for it, and the censored version removes just about every reason there is to watch it at all. For shame!
Here, now returned to its former glory, it’s Some Different Paul Williams with The Devil’s Men!
UPDATE!
Ok, so weird almost 10 years after the fact Post Script on this number, but I was just watching the Christian documentary Rock: It’s Your Decision,
If there’s one thing The Shindig hates, it’s when foolish producers try to bench a perfectly good Title Track. The Shindig lives for Title Tracks and finds this practice to be an affront to both the films and their visionary creators.
A great example is our next digger, a song we absolutely love, Fall Break.
Now this is a Title Track; tailor made, vaguely referential, tonally incongruous and totally bizarre. It sounds like an 80’s sitcom theme and it’s awesome.
But somebody with a suit and a wallet thought no one would watch a movie called Fall Break.
He was probably right. It’s a strange title. Is Fall Break even a thing? I’ve never heard of it outside of this movie. We certainly never got one growing up. Fuck, the school year just started, they need a break already? It sounds like some lame version of Spring Break in New Hampshire with no bikinis. Who’s getting jazzed for Fall Break?
Nobody, that’s who, and the money guys know it. They want rentals at the local Video Stop, and that same nobody is renting Fall Fucking Break.
Enter: The Mutilator.
People wanna see The Mutilator. Hell, I wanna see The Mutilator, it sounds tough as shit. It’s direct, violet, unambiguous, and a hell of the lot more intriguing then whatever stupid shit is happening in, what did you say that title was again? Fall Break? Yeah, that’s gotta go.
”But the movies already been made, cut and released as Fall Break. We even have a song called Fall Break playing during the opening credits and everything!”
Yeah, whatever to that bullshit, it’s The Mutilator now.
And a Title Track died.
Except, technically the film was released as Fall Break, so here on The Shindig we’re keepin it real; resurrecting all Title Tracks and returning them to their rightful seats on the throne!
Fall Break, like its title, is a strange song. It’s a great fit for the playlist, inspiring autumnal images perfectly befitting our night of All Hallows. As a Title Track to the film however, it feels a little out of place.
As mentioned above, it seriously sounds like a sitcom theme, with a tone straight off the Silent Night, Deadly Night soundtrack. There’s nothing ominous here. In fact, it’s a rather nice love song of sorts, ringing with the hopeful promise of an Autumn getaway; beer, football, leaves, skinny dipping and fun at a beach house. In a way, I guess it’s like the beginning of a slasher movie. No fear, just fun. Maybe it’s not so out of place after all.
Speaking of the beach house, here’s a warning to all would-be college kids seeking a weekend getaway at a similar beach front condo…
If the man who owns the house has a framed picture of a guy he “accidentally” murdered with his ski boat – leave. That’s it. Just take off. Politely excuse yourself, and say “Nope. Not stayin’ here. I hope you understand, but that photo is just too much” and leave. I don’t care if dude’s there or not. Doesn’t matter. Just terminate your presence immediately.
Because this is not just any picture of the guy, mind you, it’s a photo of his actual corpse. Not the guy hanging out during better times, ya know, as a nice reminder of their friendship – it’s his dead fucking body, gore strewn, presumably only minutes after the incident.
This photo is crazy. Why does Big Ed have this picture,…and framed no less!? And why aren’t any of Ed Jr.’s friends even the least bit perturbed by this photo? It’s absolute madness.
As far as the movie is concerned, I’d say apart from a couple of pretty interesting murders staged by Anthony Show and Mark Shostrum (who would later go on to produce FX forDream Warriors and Evil Dead 2amongst other things) Fall Break is a rather throwaway mid-era slasher devoid of any laughs, intentional or otherwise.
There’s barely any skin and all the tension of an untied shoe, kind of like the prospect of a Fall Break. Essentially, this is a who-dun-it where you already know who-dun-it before they’ve even dun-it. What’s the point? I dunno, some cool gore scenes, I guess. Oh yeah, and an awesome title track.
Speaking of which, here it is, the best thing about Fall Break, its Peter Yellen and The Breakers with Fall Break!
Aerobicide/Woman On Fire by Mary Hylan/Jill Colucci
For a certain type of 80’s horror junkie, Aerobicide might be a wet dream come true.
There’s a formulaic and totally telegraphed whodunit plot. There’s an impractical and ridiculously oversized safety pin as a murder weapon. There’s an awesome hard-boiled detective. There’s even awesomer private investigator played by 80’s cheeseball-badass Ted Prior. There’s cheap karate, a rake fight, nudity and no shortage of 80’s babes in workout gear getting physical.
But above all, there’s the absolutely relentless 80’s synth-pop soundtrack.
However, there are a couple injustices besetting this soundtrack.
Namely, it was never officially released. Why? This thing is great. And why hasn’t anyone resurrected it yet? Where’s Death Waltz Records on this forgotten gem of a soundtrack?
There are rumors of promotional copies floating around that were release in ’84. It’s also said that all of the songs were released separately on 7″ vinyls by their various artists. Good luck finding any of those.
Secondly, and most unfortunately, the greatest of all these tracks is featured so briefly in the film it beggars belief. Worst of all, it’s the film’s Title Track. What? This isn’t the song played over the credits? This is the song that gets barely a minute of screen time so as we can’t even steal it properly? What cruel ruse is this?
Perhaps it can be explained by the inexplicable decision to retitle the film Killer Workout. Why would someone do such a thing? Is Aerobicide too high-concept? Too confusing? Similar to Land of the Minotaur, it’s not a bad title on its own, but when you compare it to Aerobicide, it’s no contest.
And because of that, this song should be all over this movie, or at the very least played during the credits. As a people, we need this whole song.
But, beggars can’t be choosers, so well provide what’s available of that track and just lead it into the aptly titled Woman on Fire by Jill Colucci, cause what else can we do?
On a side note, if you happen to find the voice of Jill Colucci sounds a bit familiar to you, it may be because she’s responsible for the theme to America’s Funniest Home Videos. Ok, that’s pretty weird.
For now, take what you can get and try to grab a copy of Aerobicide for yourself, which was finally made a whole lot easier last year when Slasher//Video released both a DVD and Blu-Ray of a video transfer.
Oh, and keep and eye out for this spray paint, which predates the film Death Spaby about 3 years.
Coincidence? I dunno, but these 2 would make for one heaving, sweaty double-feature.
There’s an 80’s horror fan reading this right now. Aerobicide is their favorite movie, they just don’t know it yet.
Is that reader you?
HUGE UPDATE! OCTOBER 2022!
It’s happened, Weeners. The impossible has occurred. The original soundtrack to Aerobicide has been dug up, brushed off, given a new pair of spandex and is out dancin’ in front of Rhonda’s Workout as we speak.
Thanks to the incredible sleuthing skills of Gilles Nuytens, this incredible soundtrack finally comes to life. He found them, I don’t know how, but he found them. He has apparently cleaned them up and remastered them a bit too, and they sound great. Not gonna lie, because I’ve been listening to the VHS versions for so many years, they sound a little weird; pitched a bit differently, have a slightly different tempo and sound…off. But they sound good and clean.
Gilles doesn’t quite have the full soundtrack yet, there’s still a few missing tracks, one of which appears to be Woman On Fire, so I can only update the Title Track on this double shot, but boy is that good enough for me. If and when the other songs are unearthed, you better believe this fucker’s getting the full Super Soundtrack treatment over here at The Shindig.
Having somewhat given up hope on this one, I had stopped actively looking for these tracks, imagining if they popped up, one of the big horror labels would release a pressing.
If not for the vigilance of Shindig follower Austin Popdan, we’d still be without this knowledge.
Thank you Austin, and thank you Gilles. Hearing the full version of this amazing Title Track was a fantastic moment of pure joy I was never sure I’d experience. We hope all you Shindiggers enjoy it as well.
Click below to hear…and i never thought I’d say this…the full version of…
What better place to bring our Haunted House Rockin’ block to an end than here, at the Berber House with Hauntedween, a Haunted House Halloween Title Track?
While not a real haunted house, The Berber House is just a festive Haunted House, or rather a Haunt, which has hitherto been unrepresented in our block.
A staple of the season since well before I was brought to this plane of existence, The Haunted House is as much a part of Halloween as Trick-or-Treating, Jack O’Lanterns and slutty costumes.
High school kids in rubber masks weave through a thick mist of dangling limbs and fake fog, looking for their next mark.
Disorienting lights strobe to the beat of pneumatic pistons firing foam jump scares.
A chainsaw is perpetually chugging somewhere, sometimes roaring to life, but from where, you couldn’t say.
Grown adults tip-toe around dark corners, weary of things they know aren’t really out to get them.
The nervous shriek, the tough guys almost instinctively punch and the weirdos laugh uneasily.
Some are good and some are terrible, but they all have that same smell, that same vibe, the same excitement, and you should always treat yourself to at least one visit a season.
If you live around Southern California, I highly recommend Reign of Terror in Thousand Oaks. Skip Universal, Knotts and The Griffith Park Hayride, and check that place out.
Hauntedween is a low budget affair filled with that same sort of passionate home-town charm and love for the holiday you find in local Haunted Houses, and it features a killer lying in wait at just such a local Haunt. You can read The Shindig’s write-up here!
This Title Track (which it is gracious enough to give us) plays over a montage of the Sigma Phi frat boys rebuilding the old local Haunt in preparation for a holiday fundraiser to save their fraternity!
It may be awkward to say, and it may not make one bit of sense, but here it is all the same…it’s Hauntedween!
Ok, so Ghost Fever‘s a pretty shitty movie, right?
Oh, not sure you agree with me? Go see for yourself. I’ll meet you back here in 92 minutes
Alright, so now that we’re all on the same page, let’s talk this through.
I’m not sure how much Ghost Fever you actually came down with but chances are it wasn’t so much that you’ll be requiring any antibiotics.
That being said, I love Ghost Fever. It has the distinction of being the only movie where Sherman Hemsley plays corner man to Luis Ávalos as he boxes Smoking Joe Fraizer with the assistance of Southern ghosts. Well, the only one that I’ve seen anyway.
It’s also the only movie I’ve ever seen with a break-dancing mummy.
Now, that’s pretty awesome.
All of this however does not make Ghost Fever a good movie, it just makes Ghost Fever a singular thing, and that’s worth something. Admittedly, it’s a little more than hard to sit through, but if you can get behind a poor idea executed in the poorest possible fashion, with the most eye-rolling bafoonery this side of Pandemonium, it’s a certain kind of treat.
James Ross at Badmovienite.com probably puts it best in his humorous review:
“At times it’s like a live action episode of Scooby-Doo meets the Harlem Globetrotters. Except it’s not really fun, or funny, and there are no talking dogs.”
Well, there’s definitely no talking dogs, I’ll give him that. But I’m laughing (kind of), particularly when it decides to get all batshit crazy toward the end. It’s not always the kind of laugh Alan Smithee is intending, but a laughs a laugh, right?
Oh yeah, did I mention Ghost Fever is an Alan Smithee film? That oughta give you an idea of what’s going on here.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with Smithee, “he’s” a pseudonym the Director’s Guild of America allows a filmmaker to use if they feel too embarrassed by the final product and can demonstrate a lack of artistic control.
Yeah, so even actual director Lee Madden disavowed this pile. I’m not quite sure it’s that bad, nor it even so bad it’s entertaining by virtue, but it’s definitely bad, that much I can say with confidence. But, dear Weeners, it’s not without its moments and with the right amount of intoxicants and the right amount of friends with the right sensibilities, it could be the right movie.
Of course, here on The Shindig, we don’t talk about this kind of nonsense without merit or a cause célèbre and Ghost Fever (as you might imagine) has a fucking doozy.
Submitted for your Halloween enjoyment, here’s George Jefferson himself spiriting his way through a disco title track of supernatural proportions.
Trick Or Treat – what more can you possibly give The Shindig? Haven’t you given enough already? Surely there are no more Halloween delights under your thin candy shell.
Oh, but there is – a thick nougat center of Monster Rap awesomeness.
In between all the Fastway rocking of the Trick Or Treat soundtrack, tucked away so’s you might not even notice, is this curve-ball of horrific proportions. From 80’s Hip-Hop maestros Whodini comes one of the finest Monster Raps featured on The Shindig, The Haunted House of Rock.
Played during the Halloween Dance sequence, just before Roger turns the speakers over to Sammy Curr’s backwards metallic cassette, Whodini rocks a rhyme about the monsters and mayhem taking place at the titular haunted abode.
What is this song doing on this soundtrack? What is this song even doing in existence? I don’t have an answer to either question, but in both cases I’m sure glad it is.
Succeeding in just about every way Lovebug Starski’sAmityville fails, The Haunted House of Rock features an actual Haunted House propagated by a multitude of real ghouls with no sign of any Starship Enterprise crew members in sight.
Amityville only outshines it for a brief moment when Dracula raps. That’s pretty huge and should not be ignored. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Amityville and it’s ridiculously unhaunted tale, but Whodini delivers the goods in way Starski only aspires to and they remain the champs of the Haunted Monster Party Rap game.
The Haunted House of Rock may even be the champ of the Monster Rap game in its entirety. But it does have some stiff competition.
If you Iike your Monster Raps a bit more specific, Are You Ready For Freddy might be your speed. If you like them a bit more ridiculous, then maybe The Maniac Cop Rap is the winner. Or if you like your Monster Rappin a bit more whack, then The Monster Squad is just what the doctor ordered.
But for my money, when it comes to legitimacy, Whodini is holding it down with this old-school hip-hop horror hit and its inclusion in Trick Or Treat just ups the ante.
I saw everybody there, except you. Let’s change that this year.
What Haunted House tour would be complete without a stop at a haunted whorehouse?
Here’s a psychobilly banger from The Nekromantix which has the guys reminiscing about the good old days, ya know when they got free blowjobs from weird creatures at this spooky brothel.
I lead the song in with a clip from Blood Sisters, Roberta Findlay’s late-era slasher where some sorority sisters are challenged to spend the night in…a haunted whorehouse!
With Roberta’s name and the plot outlined above, you’d be forgiven for thinking you were getting into some top-notch 80’s slash-sleazery. Unfortunately, you’d be mistaken, and probably fairly disappointed by this scavenger hunt, genre mash-up which delivers little in either haunted house chills or hack-n-slash thrills.
It’s not even terribly sleazy either, which is a pretty hefty sin for a movie about a haunted whorehouse where a bunch of sorority girls are having a sleep-over.
Oh, well. At any rate, here’s The Nekromantix describing a house which would have been much cooler than the one we get to see in Blood Sisters.
Though they share titles, I’m not entirely convinced Blitzkid was inspired by the film Terror in the Haunted House to write this upbeat spookster.
See, Terror in the Haunted House doesn’t really take place in a Haunted House. I suppose House on Haunted Hill doesn’t really either, but it at least it pretends to. Terror in the Haunted House doesn’t even do that.
What it does do however, is attempt to bug you out with a bunch of subliminal messages and images cut into the movie. They called this gimmick “Psycho-Rama!” which sounds way cooler than it actually is.
The look of these messages is pretty goofy. They’re actually kind of distracting and not at all effective. Take a look. I’ve slowed them down for optimum perception!
Not so spooky. Hell, the later ones seem pretty aftermarket. Particularly this red snake one, instructing you to “Rent Rhino Videos Everyday.”
Yeah, pretty sure prints didn’t ship with that message in 1958.
No, Terror in the Haunted House is more like a psychological thriller than a horror, and not an entirely ineffective one at that. A bit silly sure and no doubt more than just a little Castle-esque, but it is occasionally somewhat sinister and intriguing.
Mostly though, it’s just a snoozer. And with the absence of any fun ghosts or phantasmic goings-ons, 100% missable.
So, let’s just enjoy this spooky spin from Shindig All-Stars Blitzkid. It’s shorter and a lot more fun.
Return of the Living Dead Part II gets a bad rap. Granted, it’s pretty well deserved, but it gets a bad rap all the same.
Honestly though, in its defense, it had a full count walking to the plate: take one of the most beloved, successful and awesome zombie horror/comedies ever, which wraps itself up pretty fucking tightly and expand on it. Go!
Yeah it strikes out, but that was to be expected. At least it doesn’t get caught looking. It goes down swinging.
It’s never very dark or scary or serious (as the trailer led people to believe) nor is it ever terribly funny. Comedy is tricky and when it face-plants, it does so hard and loudly. It’s not quite as cringe inducing as its equally I’ll-advised contemporary, C.H.U.D. 2, but unlike its counter part you at least feel like your watching an honest to god sequel, despite how shitty that sequel may be.
One thing Return of the Living Dead Part II gets sort of right is the music. While nowhere near the iconic status of its predecessor’s, there’s some good tunes to be had on this soundtrack. Whether it’s Anthrax or Leatherwolf or this turn from Joe Lamont.
Being that this really the only thing the Shindig ultimately concerns itself with, Return of The Living Dead Part II gets its day.
Since our Halloween movie countdown is focusing on Halloween sequels, let’s keep the sequel soundtrack train rolling over here with a tune from an actual Halloween sequel.
If you’re a C.H.U.D. fan, a horror fan or even just a normal person trying to sit down and watch an enjoyable movie, C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. doesn’t have a whole hell of a lot to offer you.
If you’re Halloween Shindig, a blog centered around a Halloween Playlist which encompasses all types of random nonsensical horror-related music from the movies, suddenly C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. has something quite fantastic to offer.
And that thing is out next number, by-liner title track Bud The C.H.U.D. from Kipp Lennon.
Who the hell is Kipp Lennon?
That’s a great question. Apparently he’s a founding member of the folk group Venice. Yeah, I’d never heard of them either.
However, it appears he’s also the voice behind mental patient Leon Kompowski who believes he’s Michael Jackson in the Simpsons episode “Stark Raving Dad.” As such, he’s the guy who sings “Happy Birthday Lisa.” That’s pretty weird.
Seems he’s had a handful of gigs impersonating Michael Jackson’s voice. He doesn’t do that here unfortunately, presumably using his natural God-given sound to accentuate all the incredible lyrics Bud the C.H.U.D. has to offer.
Outside of this track, C.H.U.D. IIis a rather harmless, if mildly entertaining tangent to the original C.H.U.D. It also takes place during Halloween and features a pretty great Halloween party sequence (a staple) and some fun trick or treating.
Compared to some of the junk featured on The Return of the 31 Days of Halloween Horror list, you can do a lot worse this season theC.H.U.D. II.
So, if you’re feeling festive and silly, pop it on and you’ll be treated to this fun 80’s tune from Kipp Lennon.
Since everyone got so pissed off this summer about the Ghostbusters remake, and even more pissed off about the new song by Fall Out Boy ft. Missy Elliot (definitely not featured on the Shindig), I thought we’d take a look at another Ghostbusters Theme reiteration that surely pissed off purists in its day.
I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again, but when it comes to Monster Raps, no movie’s got that shit on lock like Ghostbusters 2.
A prime example of this is Run D.M.C.’sGhostbusters, which (as sacrilegious as it may sound) I actually enjoy a little more than Ray Parker Jr.’s seminal theme.
Don’t get me wrong, Ray’s original Title Track is an unrivaled classic, both for Halloween playlists and just generally speaking. It also serves as the basis for Reverend Run and Co.’s sonic sequel. This jam however is way less played-out, awesomely 8o’s in its own distinct way and just plain old fashioned ridiculous in the best way possible.
Sampled up with tons of clips of the boys bustin’ and schillin’.
