Speaking of dudes from our Freddy Raps episode and sampling classic horrors themes for raps beat…oh and recent questionable reboots of aging horror properties…oh and even Halloween, I guess, by way of Rob Zombie…
man, that’s a lot of tenuous connections for 2 songs to randomly have…
here comes an actual Referential Monster Rap in the form of Gregory D and Figgy Balls’ Love letter to The Munsters, Monster Booogie.
Now, why they didn’t just call this tune Munster Booogie is above my pay grade, but honestly that’s the only bone I have to pick with this track, because otherwise, it’s just the goods. Well, there’s is that one verse, but we’ll get to that.
Mannie Fresh twists up The Munster’s Theme into the kinda beat I wish every monster rap had, while Gregory D waxes nostalgic for the days of eating cereal and kickin’ it with the First Family of Fright.
They also spit barbs at The Addams Family, which for a song of this nature, feels right at home.
Then, there is that verse I spoke of earlier. Gregory D goes off on Eddie Munster a bit, and some words get thrown around. Now listen, we’ve laid into Eddie Munster ourselves, more specifically Butch Patrick for his crimes against music, but this is a bit of a different beast. Let’s just say he goes so far as to suggest Eddie Munster might prefer the company of men.
This bar-spanning gag which (in addition to being generally offensive to both Gays and Butch Patrick for a number of reasons) is a really weird joke to make considering the kid’s like 10 years old. But hey, I guess that’s just a little slice of 1987 for ya. Try to ignore it, if you can. If not, I’d understand.
Despite that, this is still a seriously referential tune though, with tons of great samples and a dope ass beat. It’s the kinda diamond in the rough you come across while looking for something else and then all you can do is sit back and bask in great weird wave of the universe.
So, instead of subjecting yourself to Rob’s Day-Glo prequel, just blast Gregory D and Mannie Fresh’s Monster Booogie, and then go enjoy a few episodes of the real thing while scarfing down a bowl of Frankenberry.
So, here’s a slice of bizarro-70’s-monster-weirdness I wish I knew existed back in 2018 when we did our Christmas episode of Shindig Radio. It’s the exact sort of thing I was trying to include.
Thankfully, it’s here now, so let’s talk about it.
Back in 1974, it would appear as though someone just casually listening to Boris Pickett’sMonster’s Holiday and thought it would be a great idea for an entire novelty concept album.
And they were right, cause this thing is awesome.
Now, it’s not exactly the same as Monster’s Holiday because the monsters don’t rob Santa, as they plan to do in Boris’ song. What’s happening here is that Frankenstein’s Monster is sick and dying. Ok, off to a weird start. But then, just going right along with the weirdness, he laments that he’s never been invited to a Christmas party. So, as some kinda Make-A-Wish Foundation move, the Association of Monsters decide to throw him a Christmas Party.
It’s a bizarre concept, no doubt, but it features a couple of fun new monsters tunes, a few classic Christmas carol renditions and some fantastic voice acting.
So, if you’re feeling like your Christmas is lacking a little Monster action, fire this thing up, because it’s one monstrously jolly listen.
If Monster Raps Pt. 3: Freddy’s Revenge has already aired (and you’ve listened to it) then you may be aware of a guy I referenced on that episode named Werner Von Wallenrod.
Werner has a crazy informative website called The Humble Little Hip-Hop Blog. I stumbled across it while researching last night’s Monster Rap entry and what I got in return was so much more.
In addition to the veritable boiler room of previously unknown (to me anyway) Freddy related rap songs, here’s another addition that I have to chalk up to Werner as well.
From 1984, right on the heels of (and perhaps as a result of) Whodini’sHaunted House of Rock, comes Uptown Express’Creature Feature.
Now, like I’ve been saying all season it seems, there isn’t much info floating around on Uptown Express. They only released a few tunes over a couple years, of which Creature Feature is perhaps their most prominent.
A cavalcade of monsterdom, this one uses the title of Screen Gem’s second package of horror movie classics that were released into syndication to local television stations in the early 60’s. This, of course, gave birth to the Horror Hosts of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. The original Shock! package featured mostly old Universal Classics, but the Creature Features packaged upped the ante with all manner of cheeseball Sci-Fi, Hammer Classics, Asian Kaiju and 60’s monster freakouts.
Like Shock!, the package was sent all over the country and many markets had their own “Creature Features” labeled programs with the requisite spooky host. Perhaps the most famous, however, was Bob Wilkin’s wry and straight-face take on San Francisco’s KTVU.
If you’ve ever seen this picture floating around Instagram, that’s Bob, cold chillin, classed-out in front of his now ubiquitous sign.
To keep things nice and referential, we’ve led the track in with Bob’s 70’s era theme song performed by Beauregarde and The Poppers.
So let’s all keep America strong, and listen to this upbeat and fun loving tune from the birth of Monster Rap, Creature Feature.
There’s no need to fear, it’s as harmless as your teacher…
“Man, I really love that Edgar Winter’s Frankenstein, but I just wish it had more synths, ya know? Like some newer synths…and maybe even a drum machine, yeah! And hey, what if it had some lyrics too, ya know, instead of being an instrumental? And dude, the lyrics could really be about Frankenstein, so it would actually be a real monster song! And oh shit, what if Edgar himself, weirdo, freaky 70’s looking, literal-ass whitest dude ever was rappin’ all over the motherfucker?”
Well my friend, have I got some good news for you today, courtesy of Edgar Winter’svery own Frankenstein 1984.
Yep.
Now, why Edgar decided to update Frankenstein, I couldn’t say. I wasn’t able to find any interviews with him talking about this particular version. But my guess is, Edgar is a pretty experimental guy. The original Frankenstein was the first ever #1 hit to heavily feature a synthesizer. And Edgar is perhaps the inventor of what we think of today as a keytar, as he was the first one to strap the ARP2600’s keyboard around his neck.
As synthesizer technology and their use in popular music grew over the decade or so following this hit, I’m sure Edgar wanted to take another stab at it and incorporate more electronic instrumentation.
Now, why…in addition to this…Edgar decided to remix a slightly different version of the song and then rap over the top of it…that’s about anyone’s guess. As we’ve reckoned many times here on The Shindig before, Rap was starting to emerge as a legitimate musical force and in those early days, everybody decided to take swing.
So let’s thank Edgar Winterfor deciding to throw his hat in the ring and take a song with dubious connections to both Halloween and Frankenstein himself and turn it into the full-blown epic Monster Rap we always wished it could be.
He even went so far as to call it the Monster Rap version.
Dashiki enthusiast and suspected racial appropriator Johnny Wakelin sang a lot of songs about boxers. Not the dogs mind you, but dudes who put on gloves and punch the shit out of each other.
Over a roughly 30 year span, Johnny released 12 different songs about boxers. Of courseMuhammad Ali, Lennox Lewis, Frank Bruno and Mike Tyson each got 2 a piece, but that’s still no mean feat.
It all seemed to start in 1972, when he wrote a song called Hungarian Superman about Hungarian boxer Joe Bugner.
Apparently no one cared though.
Then Joe Bugner lost to both Muhammad Ali and Ghost Fever star Joe Frazier. 12 rounders to be sure, and by decisions, but still L’s none the less.
So, Johnny figured he’d just rework Joe’s tune to be about Muhammad Ali and call it Black Superman instead. Keen.
This time people seemed to care. Well, at least a little. The song hit number 7 in the UK. It only reached number 21 here in the states, but it stayed in the top 100 for 6 months! Not too shabby for a weird ass tune from some British guy about an American boxer.
Figuring if it ain’t broke it ain’t broke, Johnny whipped up In Zaire, a song about Ali’s famous 1974 bout dubbed “The Rumble in the Jungle” against George Foreman. That one didn’t do as well, but still had some legs.
After a few underperforming singles including Africa Man, Cream Puff and Afro Afrique, he attempt to rebottle the lightning with 1986’s Bruno, about boxer Frank Bruno.
That didn’t do so hot either.
Later down the line Johnny thought, fuck it, I’ll write songs about all kinds of boxers including Sugar Ray Leonard, Prince Nassem Hamed and even my own hometown hero Rocky Marciano.
Now, you may be thinking “Gee, that’s real swell, pal, but what the fuck does that have to do with Halloween, you blithering jackass.”
A fair question.
Well, it seems that in the middle of all this pugilist pop, and for seemingly no good reason at all, ole Johnny decided to jump on the disco train and bring some of that spooky monster party shit with him. What?
So, he grabbed up an instrumental disco tune from Harold Faltermeyer – yep Top Gun, Fletch Theme, Axel F Harold Faltermeyer – and slapped some silly Monster Mash-fashioned lyrics over the whole thing.
The result was Dr. Frankenstein’s Disco Party, a bonafide Monster Disco jammer that’s as grooving as it is bizarre.
Seriously, this song rules. And it hits all the notes you want for a monster party disco hit. You got Dracula, Mummies, Zombies, fuckin Bigfoot and even a nod to Frankenstein’s Monster himself. Hell, all the invitations to this Shindig are delivered by bat for fuck’s sake. It’s incredible! Johnny should have ditched the boxing motif and stuck with the monster parties, you ask us.
So let’s say gold riddance to this disco block with a little underground groove about a bunch of bloodaholics.
Unfortunately for everyone listening, that’s not where the “Disco Dracula” ends.
Cause every once and a while The Shindig stumbles across a song that’s definitely not good, but not totally unlistenable, that practically insists upon itself to make the playlist.
Dracula Disco is just such a song.
Because where else do you put this? Where else does this thing get the nod? When else does this song get its day?
But maybe it shouldn’t get its day, because that place doesn’t exist. Maybe it should just get buried in a hole somewhere where you put uninspired, and dubious cash-in trash like this.
Well, unfortunately for that hole, such a place does exist. And that place is Halloween Shindig. And that day is today.
But holy shit. This is the kind of thing that give disco a bad name.
Say what you want about something like Soul Dracula, or Disco Blood, but those songs cut rugs. This shit…this Dracula Disco shit…this is bland, repetitive, cash grabby garbage. Hell, it barely qualifies as music. You can’t dance to this shit! Isn’t that the soul purpose of disco, to at least get your feet moving? What is this song’s purpose? Who is this song for? It’s definitely for us, right now, in hindsight. But I mean in its day, to whom was this appealing to? To whom was this being sold, I ask!
Not gonna lie though, this guy does a pretty good Dracula, but the song isn’t asking much of him in the way of singing. Also, his party is poorly attended and whack as fuck. What’s he got? 2 guests and some lights? A little music? Well, if it’s shit like Dracula Disco, count me out, Conde.
Where’s the cavalcade of monsterous party goers? Where’s the plasma pizza or the blood ballon race? This party doesn’t even have a spooky DJ. This party is lazy and so is this song.
Unfortunately, lazy though it might be, it’s exactly the kind of thing that needs to be on this playlist. Because, where else do you put a thing like Dracula Disco, if not in a trash can?
Also, that LP cover is pretty fantastic. Dude has a coffin guitar, so what the hell.
Speaking of bizarre skin-flicks disguised as Disco Dracula films, let’s talk about Dracula Blows His Cool, a German sex comedy with a surprisingly interesting soundtrack.
When smut photographer and “Dracula” descendant Stan decides just shooting nudie pictures in his old family castle isn’t quite enough to keep it from being repossessed, he does what any self respecting Bavarian in 1979 would do. He opens a disco!
What ensues is a bevy of silly sex gags, tons of mistaken identity hi-jinx and some funny English dubbing. While certainly not even approaching good, there’s less amusing ways you could spend an hour and 20 minutes, if you like this sort of 70’s sex trash. I mean, check this out:
It’s at least worth a viewing.
Additionally, the film is filled with tons of fun (read: appropriately ludicrous if you have a horror-themed music blog) songs.
Most notable of course, and submitted for your approval this evening, is the 1979 hit Rock Me Dracula, performed by Mokka.
Mokka is an iteration from the brief musical career of Italian twins Nadia and Antonella Cocconcelli. Nadia and Antonella even appear in the film performing the tune. Or at least they appear dancing around with garden hoses and lip syncing to it poorly, anyway. But hey, we’ll take it!
Though played several times throughout the film, it is not included on the official Gerhard Heinz soundtrack for Dracula Blows His Cool, which has several potential Shindig inclusions like Graf Dracula and Disco Strip. Both of those songs are pretty great and may find their way into the playlist in their own right.
For now though, we’ll only indulge in the perfectly appropriate and extra referentialRock Me Dracula, from Mokka.
Shindig Radio personality Graham C. Schofield doesn’t much care for disco music. And as you know, we’re currently knee deep in a Monster Disco Block.
So it may shock you to hear he’s actually responsible for our next tune, another vampire related rug cutter from the 70’s monster comedy, Love At First Bite, starring George Hamilton.
See, last Halloween, Graham bestowed upon The Hole this fresh piece of vinyl soundtrack goodness, and there was much rejoicing.
And if he didn’t think one of these fuckers was gonna find its way onto the playlist this year, he’s out of his mind.
Now, perhaps he did. Perhaps he was even ok with the idea. But what he probably didn’t know was that I already had a few disco-diggers waiting in the dugout, and that this specific gift was the catalyst for me diggin’ up a couple more and making a whole block out of the affair.
So, if you need a scapegoat for any ire you’re experiencing at the hands of a solid week filled with goofball monster disco bullshit, he’s your guy. I’m sure he sympathizes.
As for Love At First Bite, give it a go. It’s a surprisingly measured and effective vampire comedy with a fine and funny Dracula performance from George Hamilton.
It is alleged to have ripped off the plot of 1971’s Guess What Happened to Count Dracula? almost to the T, but as of the time of writing, I have not seen that film and can make no assessment.
What I can say is that it was one of 5 Dracula movies released in 1979. You have, of course, John Badham’s classic starring Frank Langella, Donald Pleaseance and Sir Laurence Oliver. Not to be outdone, you got Werner Herzog’s chilling Nosferatu, starring the unearthly Klaus Kinski. And then, no doubt attempting to a capitalize on the success of Love at First Bite, is Germany’s DiscoDracula film Dracula Blows His Cool, but more on that one in a bit.
Because we can’t talk about Disco Draculas without talking about the other Dracula film from 1979.
Nocturna: Granddaughter of Dracula, is perhaps the Disco Dracula movie, drenched as it is, almost front to back, in so much Disco it actually gets a little hard to watch. It’s practically an hour and 20 minute Disco music video.
It even features the tune Love Is Just a Heartbeat Away (Nocturna’s Theme) from I WillSurvive Disco Superstar, Gloria Gaynor. How they managed to pull her for this weird-ass, low budget monster picture is probably a miracle. She was apparently talked into providing the track by her then manager and future husband. Apparently she’s not too proud of that song in the slightest. We’ll spare you that tune, inclusive and semi-referential though it be, as it’s a fairly standard (albeit pretty decent) Disco tune, with no fun Draculaness.
When it’s not indulging in overly long bouts of dancing to repetitive beats and string synthesizers, Nocturna’s a totally bizarre quasi-skin flick with some weird vampire lore.
See, for Dracula’s granddaughter (played by belly dancer and screenwriter Nia Bonet), the power of disco music slowly changes her into a human or some such nonsense.
It even features a scene with a governing vampire assembly and a new, designer form of blood that the vampires can snort. It was 1979, after all.
Also on tap is actual Dracula John Caradine (even wearing his costume from 1945’s House of Dracula) and Lily Munster herself, Ms. Yvonne DeCarlo. Bonus!
If you’re into bizarre shit and love the idea Disco Draculas, definitely give it a watch. It’s worth it for Nia Bonet’s positively otherworldly performance. Plus, you get to see shit like this:
Outstanding.
But enough about Nocturna, we’re here for Fly By Night from soul singer Pat Hodges, dammit!
Now, out of the box, this fucker is a 12 and a half minute song. Talk about goin’ hard. That’s indulgent, even for Disco.
So, we’ve enlisted the help of our Shindig Audio Magicians to make this one a bit more manageable, with a totally unique Shindig Special Edition version. Not gonna lie though, it hurt a little. Despite the length of Fly By Night, I’m all about how long and epic its Disco is. It pained me to snip out resonant filter sweeps or Simmons drum hits, but it had to be done.
If we’re not gonna use the full length, 12 minute version of Helloween’sHalloween, you better believe Fly By Night ain’t getting no special dispensation.
Without any further ado, though somewhat truncated, here’s Pat Hodges singing Fly By Night!
I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to talk about this nugget of nostalgic goodness, and smack dab in the middle of a Monster Disco Block seemed like the perfect place. Because, ya know, there’s no better way to segue out of fully audible quasi-consensual Vampire fucking than to start taking about children’s breakfast mascots.
Additionally, it appears dragging my feet for years has actually timed this post up to the 50th anniversay of the Monster Cereals, commemorated here with their own all-star box of super-group cereal called Monster Mash! Albertsons, Ralphs and Target all failed me on this box. When every single goddamn physical retail store finally succumbs to the will of Amazon, let The Monster Mash Cereal be their epitaphs!
As an added bonus, the crew teamed up to produce a new version of Boris Pickett’s classic graveyard smash, The Monster Mash. The song’s kind of trash, as Monster Mash covers go, but you can scan this QR code and listen to it on Spotify. They even made a mildly amusing Behind the Music-style video as accompaniment, and that’s worth a watch.
But I digress.
Anyone who’s probably actually reading these posts are well aware of the Monster Cereals. They’re iconic, even if you’ve never indulged in a bowlful of their colorful and crunchy crap.
Before these cartoon creatures came to be, cereal giant General Mills used to use Disney-owned properties to slang their morning crack. But in 1971, they decided it would be a hell of a lot more profitable if they just invented their own characters and kept all the proceeds. Enter Franken Berry and Count Alfred Chocula. Yep, Chocula has a name and that name is apparently Alfred.
So, smashed between Saturday morning cartoons, General Mills unleashed their animated monsters and grabbed the minds and stomachs of an entire generation.
Interesting side note: apparently in 1972, they began using a pigment in Franken Berry which actually turned kids shit pink. They even had a term for it known as “Franken Berry Stool.” Not sure whether this pigment was actually harmful or not, but they discontinued using it shortly thereafter none the less.
But because turning kid turds funny colors while pushing an addictive powder directly into their bloodstreams only makes you so much money, an entire marketing web was established. Stickers, rings, vinyl toys, magnets, and other such pieces of plastic were either shoved into the boxes, or featured as mail-away prizes on the back.
Well in 1979, General Mills began a campaign of of thin, flexible 45rpm records known as Flexi-Discs. These prizes were attached directly the backs of specially marked boxes of the each of the Monster Cereals.
3 of these 4 minute records were produced featuring the gang performing skits, including Monster Adventures in Outer Space and Count Chocula Goes to Hollywood. But it is the 3rd record which concerns us today, The Monsters Go Disco. It was 1979, after all.
This tale involves the monsters finding themselves frightfully lonely on a Saturday Night and deciding to give the local discotheque a go.
There they encounter a Wolfman Jack like disc jockey and have themselves a good ole fashioned dance off for the affections of “Donna Disco.”
But for now, let’s us indulge in a little lull amidst our Monster Disco Block and get a little Franken Berry Stool of our own with The Monsters Go Disco.
No, it’s not thatDisco Blood, featured in 1981’s slasher classic, The Prowler, as performed by Nowherefast. Unfortunately, that one still appears to be unobtainium at the moment. Nope, this disco hit comes courtesy of Brazilian dance outfit, The Vamps.
It’s the title track the from their only LP, Disco Blood, released back in 1977.
And boy, what a weird ass tune this is.
It’s essentially a disco tale of a nubile woman who runs afoul “the vampire.” And not just a vampire, mind you, but the vampire. We could assume this means Dracula, as it typically does, but perhaps not. We’re just not sure.
Anyway, after some less than coy flirtations, and then overt unsolicited advances, this thing turns to (from the sounds of it anyway) straight up Vampire rape. After which, this poor young woman seems to acquiesce to the dire situation and the song then devolves into these 2 audibly fucking for almost 2 minutes over a disco beat. Well then.
The story itself, in all its myriad complexity, is actually illustrated for us on the album’s sleeve. Well, that’s a curious bonus. Chalk one up for The Vamps.
These are some great pictures to have on the back of an album, and it was an unexpected treat when I received this record in the mail.
As for the song, there’s some serious bongo work on display with this tune and man if it don’t get yer foot tapping.
Sure, you could take issue with the less than favorable subject matter, either as a moralistic objection to sex in general, the performance and distribution of simulated sex on record, or the unholy union of a human and creature of the night in sexual congress. Any one of those would make perfect sense and could impair someone’s desire to dance. I get that.
However, having no objection to the above, one could still find it difficult to dance to a song featuring a woman being thrust upon by a man (or monster) against her will. True enough. This woman literally yells “Get out of me!” Not sure if that’s just a language barrier or something more specific, but whatever’s happening here is not (at least initially anyway) consensual in the slightest.
But then again, I think that’s the nature of the vampire. For what is a vampire attack, if not a wildly non-consensual act.
But, if you can square yourself with that unfavorable situation, then you got one hell of a smokin’ disco number on you’re hands.
Unfortunately, like most of the artists this year it seems, I couldn’t dig up too much information on The Vamps.
So, I guess all we have are these drawings and 7 and a half minutes of a little 33rpm auditory pornography/maybe rape/probably horror/definitely disco. Eh, why not?
