Audio

Nightmare

TRACK #155:

Nightmare by 213

Freddy Krueger: What can be said about the quintessential 80’s man-specter that hasn’t been said a thousands different times by a thousand different nerds? Who am I to pretend like I’ve got some groundbreaking shit to drop on you? I’m no one, and I don’t, so I won’t. I’m simply another nerd with a foolishly myopic blog, so I’ll just stick to the script.

Freddy (whether I’ve said this before or not I can’t recall) is the reigning champ of horror tunes. He owns the 80’s pop-music-via-monster-icon scene. The guy even cut his own album. He’s all over it.

Jason comes close, but the Friday people didn’t fully climb aboard this particular train until part 6, and they never really bought a ticket. Freddy was shoveling coal in it’s boiler room.

And from the jump too, as even his first outing got its own little referentially inclusive tune in the form of 213’s Nightmare.

Well, who the fuck is 213? Apparently they’re no ones, as no one seems to have any information on these guys. Well, aside from the painfully obviously “they were some local LA band that provided this track” or the goofier and obviously nonsensical “they were Johnny Deep’s band” theory.

Whoever they were, they’ll go down in the Shindig’s book as they guys who churned out that thoroughly apropos end credit song from the original Nightmare On Elm Street, and baby, that’s enough.

So, up yours with a twirling lawnmower,…whatever the hell that even means.

 

Audio

The Hell of It

TRACK #154:

The Hell of It by Paul Williams

Speaking of Paul Williams, let’s take this moment to segue right into one of Horror’s most beloved rock operas, Brian DePalma’s 1974 pitch-perfect send-up of the entire recording industry, Phantom of the Paradise.

Elements of Faust, Phantom of the Opera, Frankenstein, Portrait of Dorian Gray and even a little Dr. Phibes are all fused together to tell a tale of love, betrayal, fame and revenge set to the backdrop of the doped-out, sinister 70’s music scene.

Williams scored the entire film for DePalma, and stars as Swan, the unscrupulous producer who collects talents and souls for his Death Records label.

Phantom of the Paradise is unique, visually arresting, kinetic and humorous all in equal measure. From DePalma’s active camera, to Gerritt Graham’s flamboyant Beef, to Winslow’s killer Phantom disguise, to Swan’s bitchin’ giant, record-shaped desk, to the parodist music, to the satire – everything here just works, and works so damn well.

Even getting Rod Serling himself to handle the opening narration is like a stroke of genius.

Here we have the film’s final track, a rocking little number played over the picture credits, that has all the seeming of Satan himself speaking directly to Swan.

If you’ve never seen Phantom of the Paradise, give this pop-rock-horror-satire a spin this October. And if you already love it, watch it again, just for the hell of it!

 

 

Audio

The Devil’s Men

TRACK #153:

The Devil’s Men by Paul Williams

While fairly understated and never quite as rousing as it seems like it should be, The Devil’s Men is a somewhat worthwhile endeavor, if only to see card-carrying good guy Peter Cushing all cloaked out and evil, raising a 10 foot, fire-breathing Minotaur statue he calls “lord.”

Oh yeah and all the creepy , robed Minotaur worshipers.

Oh yeah and them all exploding at that end. That shit is pretty awesome.

But it’s mostly worth seeing for the grooviest title track this side of Scream and Scream Again, which incidentally, Cushing also appears.

Paul Williams performs this number, but apparently not the same Paul Williams with whom many of you may be familiar with from his performance in and musical contributions to, Brian DePalma’s Phantom Of The Paradise. Naw, this is some other Paul Williams. Which is unfortunate, but not terribly surprising, as this Paul Williams doesn’t sound much like that Paul Williams.

But props all around anyway other Paul, cause this one’s a doozy.

However, much like the last 2 cuts in this True Title Track block, someone had it out for The Devil’s Men, someone who sucked at their job.

They took it and retitled it Land Of The Minotaur. Which (while in and of itself is a cool title) seems pretty unnecessary, particularly during the 70’s satanic panic where one would imagine a film called The Devil’s Men might play just fine.

They also saw fit to removed a bunch of violence and all the nudity. Seriously? What’s next? Did they cut out an awesome Title Track too?

Yes! That’s exactly what they did, and they should be tried and hung for the successive severity of their crimes.

So, if you’re gonna watch The Devil’s Men, make sure you watch The Devil’s Men, and not Land of the Minotaur, cause it doesn’t have a whole lot going for it, and the censored version removes just about every reason there is to watch it at all. For shame!

Here, now returned to its former glory, it’s Some Different Paul Williams with The Devil’s Men!

 

Audio

Aerobicide/Woman On Fire

TRACK #152:

Aerobicide/Woman On Fire by Mary Hylan/Jill Colucci

For a certain type of 80’s horror junkie, Aerobicide might be a wet dream come true.

There’s a formulaic and totally telegraphed whodunit plot. There’s an impractical and ridiculously oversized safety pin as a murder weapon. There’s an awesome hard-boiled detective. There’s even awesomer private investigator played by 80’s cheeseball-badass Ted Prior. There’s cheap karate, a rake fight, nudity and no shortage of 80’s babes in workout gear getting physical.

But above all, there’s the absolutely relentless 80’s synth-pop soundtrack.

However, there are a couple injustices besetting this soundtrack.

Namely, it was never officially released. Why? This thing is great. And why hasn’t anyone resurrected  it yet? Where’s Death Waltz Records on this forgotten gem of a soundtrack?

There are rumors of promotional copies floating around that were release in ’84. It’s also said that all of the songs were released separately on 7″ vinyls by their various artists. Good luck finding any of those.

Secondly, and most unfortunately, the greatest of all these tracks is featured so briefly in the film it beggars belief. Worst of all, it’s the film’s Title Track. What? This isn’t the song played over the credits? This is the song that gets barely a minute of screen time so as we can’t even steal it properly? What cruel ruse is this?

Perhaps it can be explained by the inexplicable decision to retitle the film Killer Workout. Why would someone do such a thing? Is Aerobicide too high-concept? Too confusing? Similar to Land of the Minotaur, it’s not a bad title on its own, but when you compare it to Aerobicide, it’s no contest.

And because of that, this song should be all over this movie, or at the very least played during the credits. As a people, we need this whole song.

But, beggars can’t be choosers, so well provide what’s available of that track and just lead it into the aptly titled Woman on Fire by Jill Colucci, cause what else can we do?

On a side note, if you happen to find the voice of Jill Colucci sounds a bit familiar to you, it may be because she’s responsible for the theme to America’s Funniest Home Videos. Ok, that’s pretty weird.

For now, take what you can get and try to grab a copy of Aerobicide for yourself, which was finally made a whole lot easier last year when Slasher//Video released both a DVD and Blu-Ray of a video transfer.

Oh, and keep and eye out for this spray paint, which predates the film Death Spa by about 3 years.

Coincidence? I dunno, but these 2 would make for one heaving, sweaty double-feature.

There’s an 80’s horror fan reading this right now. Aerobicide is their favorite movie, they just don’t know it yet.

Is that reader you?

HUGE UPDATE! OCTOBER 2022!

It’s happened, Weeners. The impossible has occurred. The original soundtrack to Aerobicide has been dug up, brushed off, given a new pair of spandex and is out dancin’ in front of Rhonda’s Workout as we speak.

Thanks to the incredible sleuthing skills of Gilles Nuytens, this incredible soundtrack finally comes to life. He found them, I don’t know how, but he found them. He has apparently cleaned them up and remastered them a bit too, and they sound great. Not gonna lie, because I’ve been listening to the VHS versions for so many years, they sound a little weird; pitched a bit differently, have a slightly different tempo and sound…off. But they sound good and clean.

Gilles doesn’t quite have the full soundtrack yet, there’s still a few missing tracks, one of which appears to be Woman On Fire, so I can only update the Title Track on this double shot, but boy is that good enough for me. If and when the other songs are unearthed, you better believe this fucker’s getting the full Super Soundtrack treatment over here at The Shindig.

Having somewhat given up hope on this one, I had stopped actively looking for these tracks, imagining if they popped up, one of the big horror labels would release a pressing.

If not for the vigilance of Shindig follower Austin Popdan, we’d still be without this knowledge.

Thank you Austin, and thank you Gilles. Hearing the full version of this amazing Title Track was a fantastic moment of pure joy I was never sure I’d experience. We hope all you Shindiggers enjoy it as well.

Click below to hear…and i never thought I’d say this…the full version of…

Aerobicide!

Audio

Hauntedween

TRACK #150:

Hauntedween by Ernest Raymer

What better place to bring our Haunted House Rockin’ block to an end than here, at the Berber House with Hauntedween, a Haunted House Halloween Title Track?

While not a real haunted house, The Berber House is just a festive Haunted House, or rather a Haunt, which has hitherto been unrepresented in our block.

A staple of the season since well before I was brought to this plane of existence, The Haunted House is as much a part of Halloween as Trick-or-Treating, Jack O’Lanterns and slutty costumes.

High school kids in rubber masks weave through a thick mist of dangling limbs and fake fog, looking for their next mark.

Disorienting lights strobe to the beat of pneumatic pistons firing foam jump scares.

A chainsaw is perpetually chugging somewhere, sometimes roaring to life, but from where, you couldn’t say.

Grown adults tip-toe around dark corners, weary of things they know aren’t really out to get them.

The nervous shriek, the tough guys almost instinctively punch and the weirdos laugh uneasily.

Some are good and some are terrible, but they all have that same smell, that same vibe, the same excitement, and you should always treat yourself to at least one visit a season.

If you live around Southern California, I highly recommend Reign of Terror in Thousand Oaks. Skip Universal, Knotts and The Griffith Park Hayride, and check that place out.

Hauntedween is a low budget affair filled with that same sort of passionate home-town charm and love for the holiday you find in local Haunted Houses, and it features a killer lying in wait at just such a local Haunt. You can read The Shindig’s write-up here!

This Title Track (which it is gracious enough to give us) plays over a montage of the Sigma Phi frat boys rebuilding the old local Haunt in preparation for a holiday fundraiser to save their fraternity!

It may be awkward to say, and it may not make one bit of sense, but here it is all the same…it’s Hauntedween!

Someone’s dying to start the show.

 

Audio

Ghost Fever

TRACK #149:

Ghost Fever by Sherman Hemsley

Ok, so Ghost Fever‘s a pretty shitty movie, right?

Oh, not sure you agree with me? Go see for yourself. I’ll meet you back here in 92 minutes

Alright, so now that we’re all on the same page, let’s talk this through.

I’m not sure how much Ghost Fever you actually came down with but chances are it wasn’t so much that you’ll be requiring any antibiotics.

That being said, I love Ghost Fever. It has the distinction of being the only movie where Sherman Hemsley plays corner man to Luis Ávalos as he boxes Smoking Joe Fraizer with the assistance of Southern ghosts. Well, the only one that I’ve seen anyway.

It’s also the only movie I’ve ever seen with a break-dancing mummy.

Now, that’s pretty awesome.

All of this however does not make Ghost Fever a good movie, it just makes Ghost Fever a singular thing, and that’s worth something. Admittedly, it’s a little more than hard to sit through, but if you can get behind a poor idea executed in the poorest possible fashion, with the most eye-rolling bafoonery this side of Pandemonium, it’s a certain kind of treat.

James Ross at Badmovienite.com probably puts it best in his humorous review:

“At times it’s like a live action episode of Scooby-Doo meets the Harlem Globetrotters. Except it’s not really fun, or funny, and there are no talking dogs.”

Well, there’s definitely no talking dogs, I’ll give him that. But I’m laughing (kind of), particularly when it decides to get all batshit crazy toward the end. It’s not always the kind of laugh Alan Smithee is intending, but a laughs a laugh, right?

Oh yeah, did I mention Ghost Fever is an Alan Smithee film? That oughta give you an idea of what’s going on here.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Smithee, “he’s” a pseudonym the Director’s Guild of America allows a filmmaker to use if they feel too embarrassed by the final product and can demonstrate a lack of artistic control.

Yeah, so even actual director Lee Madden disavowed this pile. I’m not quite sure it’s that bad, nor it even so bad it’s entertaining by virtue, but it’s definitely bad, that much I can say with confidence. But, dear Weeners, it’s not without its moments and with the right amount of intoxicants and the right amount of friends with the right sensibilities, it could be the right movie.

Of course, here on The Shindig, we don’t talk about this kind of nonsense without merit or a cause célèbre and Ghost Fever (as you might imagine) has a fucking doozy.

Submitted for your Halloween enjoyment, here’s George Jefferson himself spiriting his way through a disco title track of supernatural proportions.

Cause I got Ghost Fever!

 

Audio

The Haunted House of Rock

TRACK #148:

The Haunted House Of Rock by Whodini

Trick Or Treat – what more can you possibly give The Shindig? Haven’t you given enough already? Surely there are no more Halloween delights under your thin candy shell.

Oh, but there is – a thick nougat center of Monster Rap awesomeness.

In between all the Fastway rocking of the Trick Or Treat soundtrack, tucked away so’s you might not even notice, is this curve-ball of horrific proportions. From 80’s Hip-Hop maestros Whodini comes one of the finest Monster Raps featured on The Shindig, The Haunted House of Rock.

Played during the Halloween Dance sequence, just before Roger turns the speakers over to Sammy Curr’s backwards metallic cassette, Whodini rocks a rhyme about the monsters and mayhem taking place at the titular haunted abode.

What is this song doing on this soundtrack? What is this song even doing in existence? I don’t have an answer to either question, but in both cases I’m sure glad it is.

Succeeding in just about every way Lovebug Starski’s Amityville fails, The Haunted House of Rock features an actual Haunted House propagated by a multitude of real ghouls with no sign of any Starship Enterprise crew members in sight.

Amityville only outshines it for a brief moment when Dracula raps. That’s pretty huge and should not be ignored. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Amityville and it’s ridiculously unhaunted tale, but Whodini delivers the goods in way Starski only aspires to and they remain the champs of the Haunted Monster Party Rap game.

The Haunted House of Rock may even be the champ of the Monster Rap game in its entirety. But it does have some stiff competition.

If you Iike your Monster Raps a bit more specific, Are You Ready For Freddy might be your speed. If you like them a bit more ridiculous, then maybe The Maniac Cop Rap is the winner. Or if you like your Monster Rappin a bit more whack, then The Monster Squad is just what the doctor ordered.

But for my money, when it comes to legitimacy, Whodini is holding it down with this old-school hip-hop horror hit and its inclusion in Trick Or Treat just ups the ante.

I saw everybody there, except you. Let’s change that this year.

 

Audio

Flesh To Flesh

TRACK #136:

Flesh To Flesh by Joe Lamont

Return of the Living Dead Part II gets a bad rap. Granted, it’s pretty well deserved, but it gets a bad rap all the same.

Honestly though, in its defense, it had a full count walking to the plate: take one of the most beloved, successful and awesome zombie horror/comedies ever, which wraps itself up pretty fucking tightly and expand on it. Go!

Yeah it strikes out, but that was to be expected. At least it doesn’t get caught looking. It goes down swinging.

It’s never very dark or scary or serious (as the trailer led people to believe) nor is it ever terribly funny. Comedy is tricky and when it face-plants, it does so hard and loudly. It’s not quite as cringe inducing as its equally I’ll-advised contemporary, C.H.U.D. 2, but unlike its counter part you at least feel like your watching an honest to god sequel, despite how shitty that sequel may be.

One thing Return of the Living Dead Part II gets sort of right is the music. While nowhere near the iconic status of its predecessor’s, there’s some good tunes to be had on this soundtrack. Whether it’s Anthrax or Leatherwolf or this turn from Joe Lamont.

Being that this really the only thing the Shindig ultimately concerns itself with, Return of The Living Dead Part II gets its day.

Here’s Joe Lamont with Flesh To Flesh.

 

Audio

Bud The C.H.U.D.

TRACK #135:

Bud the C.H.U.D. by Kipp Lennon

Since our Halloween movie countdown is focusing on Halloween sequels, let’s keep the sequel soundtrack train rolling over here with a tune from an actual Halloween sequel.

If you’re a C.H.U.D. fan, a horror fan or even just a normal person trying to sit down and watch an enjoyable movie, C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. doesn’t have a whole hell of a lot to offer you.

If you’re Halloween Shindig, a blog centered around a Halloween Playlist which encompasses all types of random nonsensical horror-related music from the movies, suddenly C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. has something quite fantastic to offer.

And that thing is out next number, by-liner title track Bud The C.H.U.D. from Kipp Lennon.

Who the hell is Kipp Lennon?

That’s a great question. Apparently he’s a founding member of the folk group Venice. Yeah, I’d never heard of them either.

However, it appears he’s also the voice behind mental patient Leon Kompowski who believes he’s Michael Jackson in the Simpsons episode “Stark Raving Dad.” As such, he’s the guy who sings “Happy Birthday Lisa.” That’s pretty weird.

Seems he’s had a handful of gigs impersonating Michael Jackson’s voice. He doesn’t do that here unfortunately, presumably using his natural God-given sound to accentuate all the incredible lyrics Bud the C.H.U.D. has to offer.

Outside of this track, C.H.U.D. II is a rather harmless, if mildly entertaining tangent to the original C.H.U.D. It also takes place during Halloween and features a pretty great Halloween party sequence (a staple) and some fun trick or treating.

Compared to some of the junk featured on The Return of the 31 Days of Halloween Horror list, you can do a lot worse this season the C.H.U.D. II.

So, if you’re feeling festive and silly, pop it on and you’ll be treated to this fun 80’s tune from Kipp Lennon.

 

Audio

Are You Ready for Freddy?

TRACK #124:

Are You Ready for Freddy? by The Fat Boys

Fred Krueger the myth or Fred Krueger the man? It doesn’t matter cause they’re still rappin’ bout him, understand?

The lesser heralded of the 2 official Freddy rap songs, I feel Are You Ready For Freddy is superior to Nightmare on My Street for several good reasons:

  1. It’s The Fat Boys and they’re cooler than Will Smith any day of the week.
  2. It’s officially from a Freddy movie (Part 4: The Dream Master)
  3. It’s less generic about it’s Freddydom, as multiple Elm Street films are referenced and sampled.
  4. It actually features Robert Englund rapping as Freddy, as opposed to whoever the hell is rapping on the DJ Jazzy Jeff track.

2020 Update to this bullet point!

According to Hip-Hop Historian Werner Von Wallenrod, the Freddy in A Nightmare on My Street is actually Ready Rock C! So that’s pretty cool.

Additionally, it is Werner’s assessment this is NOT Robert Englund rapping on The Fat Boy’s track. While my instincts tell me this is Englund, due not only to his appearance in the video, but also the almost unmistakable quality of this Freddy voice, Werner has a compelling basis for his assertion.

It seems no pressing of this track actually credits Robert Englund as being a performer. Now, one might be inclined to think Robert would certainly be credited, if not even require being credited, if this was, in fact, him. Case in point: the 1987 album Freddy’s Greatest Hits 100% credits Robert Englund as providing the Freddy voice. In fact, it goes so far as to credit him as “the creator” of that voice. Robert probably has something of this nature dialed right into his contract, no doubt.

That album, being released a full year before Are You Ready for Freddy, sets a pretty clear precedent. The 12″ single for Are You Ready for Freddy and the The Fat Boy’s album, Coming Back Hard, which features the song, both include a special thanks to “Freddy Krueger.” But, that isn’t terribly compelling.

Wikipedia, which also isn’t necessarily compelling on its own, does credit Robert Englund as performing the Freddy voice. However, that article is itself citing a Rolling Stone article on the lawsuit between Jive Records and New Line Cinema regarding A Nightmare on My Street. Again, not super compelling, but that is Rolling Stone, for whatever that’s worth.

I think Werner has a good point, and there doesn’t seem to be much out there to roundly disprove his theory.  In my heart, I think I want to believe this is Robert, so I’m clinging to the idea that it is. But the truth is still out there, and you better believe if I ever see Robert Englund again at Monsterpalooza, I’m definitely asking him that shit.

Now back to our regularly scheduled post!

 

And if that wasn’t enough, lines like

“With a hat like a vagabond
Standin’ like a flasher
It’s Mr. Big Time, Fred Krueger
Dream crasher”

make all the difference in the world.

Freddymania is in full swing here in 1988 and the series has finally degraded into pure schillery. Freddy is a trade-able commodity now,  like pork bellies or silver. He starts hitting the talk show circuit, making music video appearances and hanging out in the windshield of cars.

I actually own this, and it’s fucking awesome.

A double-edged sword no doubt, as it’s exactly this kind of boardroom buffoonery that gives us such an awesome track as Are You Ready for Freddy (and my equally awesome sun-shield.)

But in terms of the movie, well viewers paid the price. Freddy’s crackin’ wise, sportin’ sunglasses and eatin’ pizza like some damned Ninja Turtle. Ceasing to be at all frightening and with the cleanest sweater I think he’s ever worn, Freddy’s less your dirty old dream diddler and more your pal. Hell, he’s brought back from his “grave” by the fiery urine of Kincaid’s dog Jason. Yeah, it sets up its jackassery early and securely.

But I enjoy The Dream Master for much the same reason I enjoy Freddy’s Dead: I love Freddy as a character (either scary or silly) and it’s just a ridiculous piece of horror film making.

Plus it has this song.

Which, interestingly enough, has an alternate version. There was a second, longer version of the track cut for the 12″ single. What? Now that’s the kinda shit The Shindig lives for.

So why isn’t that the featured track? Well, to be honest, I don’t like it as much. It’s a bit slower, the beats a little different and there’s a bunch of extra incidental sounds tossed all over it. It’s kinda weird.

Plus, it cuts out Freddy’s original rap at the end! What?! You get an alternate, almost spoken-word outro from The Dream Crasher, which is fun but just isn’t quite the same.

However, it does feature some pretty fantastic extra verses in the middle where The Boys detail the plot from the original Elm Street and talk about Freddy more. And there’s more samples from the original Elm Street thrown in for good measure. Bonus.

And cause we’re not the kinda outfit to tease a treat like that 10 days before Halloween, just click here to listen to (or download) the extended 12″ version.

But as far as the playlist is concerned, we’re keeping it real, cause you can’t not have Freddy rapping, c’mon.

So here’s to Mr. Big Time, forever immortalized in our musical dreams.