Are You Ready for Freddy?

TRACK #124:

Are You Ready for Freddy? by The Fat Boys

Fred Krueger the myth or Fred Krueger the man? It doesn’t matter cause they’re still rappin’ bout him, understand?

The lesser heralded of the 2 official Freddy rap songs, I feel Are You Ready For Freddy is superior to Nightmare on My Street for several good reasons:

It’s The Fat Boys and they’re cooler than Will Smith any day of the week.
It’s officially from a Freddy movie (Part 4: The Dream Master)
It’s less generic about it’s Freddydom, as multiple Elm Street films are referenced and sampled.
It actually features Robert Englund rapping as Freddy, as opposed to whoever the hell is rapping on the DJ Jazzy Jeff track.

2020 Update to this bullet point!

According to Hip-Hop Historian Werner Von Wallenrod, the Freddy in A Nightmare on My Street is actually Ready Rock C! So that’s pretty cool.

Additionally, it is Werner’s assessment this is NOT Robert Englund rapping on The Fat Boy’s track. While my instincts tell me this is Englund, due not only to his appearance in the video, but also the almost unmistakable quality of this Freddy voice, Werner has a compelling basis for his assertion.

It seems no pressing of this track actually credits Robert Englund as being a performer. Now, one might be inclined to think Robert would certainly be credited, if not even require being credited, if this was, in fact, him. Case in point: the 1987 album Freddy’s Greatest Hits 100% credits Robert Englund as providing the Freddy voice. In fact, it goes so far as to credit him as “the creator” of that voice. Robert probably has something of this nature dialed right into his contract, no doubt.

That album, being released a full year before Are You Ready for Freddy, sets a pretty clear precedent. The 12″ single for Are You Ready for Freddy and the The Fat Boy’s album, Coming Back Hard, which features the song, both include a special thanks to “Freddy Krueger.” But, that isn’t terribly compelling.

Wikipedia, which also isn’t necessarily compelling on its own, does credit Robert Englund as performing the Freddy voice. However, that article is itself citing a Rolling Stone article on the lawsuit between Jive Records and New Line Cinema regarding A Nightmare on My Street. Again, not super compelling, but that is Rolling Stone, for whatever that’s worth.

I think Werner has a good point, and there doesn’t seem to be much out there to roundly disprove his theory. In my heart, I think I want to believe this is Robert, so I’m clinging to the idea that it is. But the truth is still out there, and you better believe if I ever see Robert Englund again at Monsterpalooza, I’m definitely asking him that shit.

Now back to our regularly scheduled post!

And if that wasn’t enough, lines like

“With a hat like a vagabond
Standin’ like a flasher
It’s Mr. Big Time, Fred Krueger
Dream crasher”

make all the difference in the world.

Freddymania is in full swing here in 1988 and the series has finally degraded into pure schillery. Freddy is a trade-able commodity now, like pork bellies or silver. He starts hitting the talk show circuit, making music video appearances and hanging out in the windshield of cars.

I actually own this, and it’s fucking awesome.

A double-edged sword no doubt, as it’s exactly this kind of boardroom buffoonery that gives us such an awesome track as Are You Ready for Freddy (and my equally awesome sun-shield.)

But in terms of the movie, well viewers paid the price. Freddy’s crackin’ wise, sportin’ sunglasses and eatin’ pizza like some damned Ninja Turtle. Ceasing to be at all frightening and with the cleanest sweater I think he’s ever worn, Freddy’s less your dirty old dream diddler and more your pal. Hell, he’s brought back from his “grave” by the fiery urine of Kincaid’s dog Jason. Yeah, it sets up its jackassery early and securely.

But I enjoy The Dream Master for much the same reason I enjoy Freddy’s Dead: I love Freddy as a character (either scary or silly) and it’s just a ridiculous piece of horror film making.

Plus it has this song.

Which, interestingly enough, has an alternate version. There was a second, longer version of the track cut for the 12″ single. What? Now that’s the kinda shit The Shindig lives for.

So why isn’t that the featured track? Well, to be honest, I don’t like it as much. It’s a bit slower, the beats a little different and there’s a bunch of extra incidental sounds tossed all over it. It’s kinda weird.

Plus, it cuts out Freddy’s original rap at the end! What?! You get an alternate, almost spoken-word outro from The Dream Crasher, which is fun but just isn’t quite the same.

However, it does feature some pretty fantastic extra verses in the middle where The Boys detail the plot from the original Elm Street and talk about Freddy more. And there’s more samples from the original Elm Street thrown in for good measure. Bonus.

And cause we’re not the kinda outfit to tease a treat like that 10 days before Halloween, just click here to listen to (or download) the extended 12″ version.

But as far as the playlist is concerned, we’re keeping it real, cause you can’t not have Freddy rapping, c’mon.

So here’s to Mr. Big Time, forever immortalized in our musical dreams.

Maniac Cop Rap

TRACK #69:

Maniac Cop Rap by Yeshwua Barnes & B Dub Woods

As longtime followers are probably (painfully) aware, Monster Raps are load bearing supports in the Halloween Shindig rotation.

And when it comes to Monster Raps, few come as tailor-made awesome as Yeshwua Barnes and B Dub Woods’ Maniac Cop Rap.

Check the stats:

Does it take the movie’s score and mix into an awesome beat? Check.
Does it play during the end credits? Check.
Does it feature the title repeated ad nauseum? Check
Does it talk about how badass the main character is? Check
Does it feature the most ridiculous lyrics you can image? Check plus.

Here’s some choice selection from the track…

Set ‘em on fire, I shoot ‘em with a Uzi
But he’ll show up in you’re jacuzzi!”

Gold.

And don’t waste time dialin’ 9-1-1
Forget karate and forget yer gun!

Forgotten.

You won’t get a ticket or pay a fine
You might as well be dealin’ with Frankenstein!

Fair Enough.

Without any further ado, segueing out of our 80’s Oddball Sequel Dance Party, from a sequel that’s arguably better than the original, 1990’s Maniac Cop 2, here’s the Manaic Cop Rap.

Monster Rap

TRACK #53:

Monster Rap by Bobby “Boris” Pickett

Over the years, as the musical climate shifted, Boris Pickett attempted to recapture his Monster Mash lightning into all manner of bottle. The results were, well, not quite as successful.

In the early 80’s he tried rap, much to the delight of The Shindig.

Easily my favorite Boris Pickett tune, this goofy number is, I think, the funniest of his career. The ridiculous chorus of “Shock the body. Shock the body, body” in that Karloff voice is unmatched. Plus a rapping Frankenstein in the form of “Monster Mouth” is pretty fantastic too.

Though, I think the funniest aspect of the track is Boris’ initial excitement to hear the monster rap, and how quickly that turns to complete annoyance once the creature “won’t stop rapping.”

Even in the form of a silly rap, some remnant of Mary Shelley’s themes still persist,…kind of.

Either way, Boris Pickett’s Monster Rap is Shindig gold, all the way around.

Spirit

TRACK #43:

Spirit by Doug E. Fresh and The Get Fresh Crew

When it comes to Monster Raps, no movie’s got that category on lock down like Ghostbusters 2.

Whatever your take on the movie itself (I happen to enjoy it, though not nearly as much as the superior original) its soundtrack is pretty serious, and as such has a lot of representation on The Shindig.

The year was 1989 and this soundtrack certainly feels that way, bridging the gap between 80’s pop and paving the way for what would be the mainstream explosion of rap the following year. Hats off the the music supervisor’s foresight on that one.

Like any good soundtrack it also consistently reminds one of the movie, as the music is featured so predominately within the film.

The first Shindig cut from that album is Doug E. Fresh’s Spirit. Some people hear it, some people fear it. Some people just won’t go near it.

Dig it.

The Addams Groove

TRACK #32:

The Addams Groove by Hammer

You knew it was coming. Perhaps you groaned, but you can’t tell me this track wasn’t telegraphed.

As silly as it is (and believe me, it’s pretty fucking silly,) The Addams Groove actually has a pretty positive message hidden underneath it’s thin, ridiculous shell. As Hammer states:

Now is the time to get in your mind
It’s ok to be yourself
Take foolish pride and put it aside
Like the Addamses, yo! They def.

Proper.

So, bust out your old hammer pants, do what you wanna do, say what you wanna say. Hell, maybe even kick and then slap a friend…there the Addams Family.

The Crypt Jam

TRACK #24:

The Crypt Jam by John Kassir and Chuckii Booker

In the early 90’s both hip hop and Tales from the Crypt were riding high on the pop culture wave, so it seemed only natural to some sleazy executive to combined these two concepts.

The result is The Crypt Jam, a rather curious musical number that finds our pal the Cryptkeeper inviting us to a “monster bash, if you will.”

The next 3 minutes or so is The Cryptkeeper (voiced by the great John Kassir) rhyming and punning his way through a generic 90’s hip-hop beat.

Even better is the video, featuring our pal dressed up in typical gansta threads of the era, dancing with a dozen or so fly-girls and a coupla pop-lockin’ zombies.

Was it a good idea? Well, The Shindig certainly thinks so, as this type of thing is right up our alley over here. However, that may not be everyone’s conclusion regarding this particular Monster Rap. Either way, the Cryptkeeper’s in the house, and we couldn’t be happier about that.

Monster Talk: Monster Rap?

At some point during the early 80’s rap started coming into its own as a musical genre, at least in terms of pop culture. However, any amount of popularity eventually begets bastardization.

So, some yahoos thought it’d be a swell idea if everyone, and everything, began rapping. And for about 15 years or so, they did. Now, while musically and tastefully that was probably the whackest decision possible, in terms of Halloween Shindig, it’s meant gold. Solid gold.

The first Shindig incarnation had 3 rap songs on it. Not a bad showing for only 700 megs. Over the years however, that amount has more than quadrupled. Hell, you could make a whole CD of just these monster raps (note to self: make monster rap mix CD for car.)

Everything it seems was fair game for the money mill; The Ghostbuster’s are coming hard with 3 entries, Haunted Houses seem equitable and the Universal Monsters are heavily represented.

Even the fiends themselves started grabbing mics; Dracula has rapped; Elvira, The Crypt Keeper and Frankenstein’s Monster, all spittin’ lyrics. Hell, Freddy’s rapped twice, and one of those times was actually Robert England.

Now, these songs may seem corny, ridiculously conceived, goofy as fuck, or just plain terrible, and who knows, maybe they are. But, while they may not be well respected or liked amongst the general population, much love and respect is given to them from the Shindig, where they will always have a non-ironic home.

Monsta’ Rap

TRACK #11:

Monsta’ Rap by Elvira

Coming up next on the ‘dig is a ghoul after my own heart – Elvira.

“Every tricker’s treat” has been making Halloween playlists (or more appropriately, Hallowween albums) since I was knee high to a Gremlin. In total, she has 4 different Halloween albums, and they’re all chock full of great songs, Elvira halloweeniness, and even original cuts from the Mistress herself. And number 11 is just such a track.

Not to be out-done (in any respect), Elvira comes correct with her own brand of referential novelty in Monsta’ Rap, featuring so many shout outs, its hard to imagine fitting them all into only 4 minutes. Seriously, everything from The Thing to Rodan and everyone from Christopher Lee to Barbara Steele gets put on blast here, creating possibly the most referential song on the list. And if that wasn’t enough, Elvira’s rapping it all together.

Merged here with her own introduction for some Halloweeny atmosphere. Enjoy.